Confidence with Strabismus starring Melissa Daniels

In this episode, Denise is joined once again by Melissa Daniels for an honest and timely conversation about the emotional side of living with strabismus.

Melissa shares what led her to create her new course, Confidence with Strabismus, after years of working closely with adults navigating vision therapy, surgery decisions, and long-standing self-doubt. Together, Denise and Melissa explore how confidence, mindset, and self-trust often play a bigger role in progress than eye exercises alone.

They discuss the common spiral of self-judgment that can arise on camera, in conversations, or during setbacks in vision therapy—and practical tools Melissa teaches to move through those moments with clarity, compassion, and curiosity.

This episode is especially meaningful for adults with strabismus who are “functioning,” yet still feel emotionally impacted by their vision history—and for anyone questioning why progress can feel so hard even when they’re doing all the right things.

Melissa also explains how her course is structured, who it’s for, and why addressing confidence first can fundamentally change a person’s vision journey.

Listeners can still receive 10% off Melissa’s Confidence with Strabismus course using the code HEAL10 through Denise’s link.

https://learn.strabismussolutions.com/early-bird-confidence-bundle

Connect with Denise Allen:

Website: https://healingmysight.com

Healing our Sight Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063570817348

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Transcript

 Denise: Welcome today to the Healing Our Sight podcast. I'm your host, Denise Allen, and today I have with me Melissa Daniels, who everyone that's been following me is aware of and familiar with. Hi, Melissa.

Melissa: Hello.

Denise: So glad to have you on today. You have some exciting news to share, right?

Melissa: Yes, I do. I'm super excited. I launched my Confidence with Strabismus course, and I'm really excited about it.

Denise: I am, too. I think this is going to be a great thing. How did you decide to create this course?

Melissa: I've just. I've been doing zoom calls with people for the last two and a half years, and they've just been. You know, I meet with people once or twice and help them, and every single person I feel like shares this common thread that doesn't matter whether they're in vision therapy or not. There's this just this confidence missing because it might be coming from, like, their past. And we're like the eye turn and all of that, but there's just like this overall lack of confidence. And I felt that, and I still feel that from time to time through my vision therapy journey and just through the whole process. And so, I learned some tools that really helped me go through those hard parts of having strabismus. And then I decided I need to share this. This is what people need. They think they need eye exercises, they might need that, but they really need is more confidence. And if they have the confidence, they're going to be able to be successful in whatever direction they choose to go, whether it's vision therapy or surgery or neither, and just accepting themselves as is. They need the confidence to, like, make those decisions from a good place.

Denise: I think that is awesome. So that kind of answered the next question, which was, who's your target audience? Right. Oh, it's the people who have. been on zoom calls with you. Right. It's going to be other people as well, so.

Melissa: Oh, for sure. The course is geared towards people who have strabismus. And of course, you know, anyone can gain from gaining more confidence, and the tools apply to any situation, but every single example has to do with vision or strabismus. And so those examples wouldn't necessarily resonate for people who don't have strabismus or a child with strabismus. So that is definitely who it's designed for, but it doesn't necessarily have to be for somebody who is doing vision therapy or who is doing surgery. Right. It doesn't have to be one of those people. And you don't have to have an eye turn. Right. Like, I have strabismus and my eyes look straight, but still, I use these principles that I'm teaching in the course every day on for myself.

Denise: Yeah. Well, what I've noticed when I'm on a call with you is I looked at that video that we did last year. What are my eyes doing? I don't even know what they're doing right now. And so maybe they don't look as good as I thought. And maybe my strabismus still shows. And I have all those doubts, too. So, is your course addressing that as well?

Melissa: Oh, definitely. We talk about when you're having a conversation with someone and you get so caught up in. “Are they noticing my eyes? Do they see what I'm doing? Do they think I'm not as smart because my eyes are doing weird stuff and I can't maintain eye contact?” and what letting your brain run away with that does to your body language and how you handle yourself in that conversation. And we kind of go through, like, what's going on right now and then intentionally choosing how do we want to handle those situations so that we don't start looking around and, you know, doing weird. Because it's like, the more worried we become about it, the worse we appear. Right? It makes it even worse. It's like this, like, spiral getting worse and worse. So, yes, definitely addressing that. It's not because we all. It's all the same thing. Like, and we might be really healthy about it 80% of the time. And then there's those days where it's like, oh, my eyes. Is this why I have all my problems, is because of my eyes? And even though I know it's not logical, it's still there.

Denise: Yeah. And it's for me, it's when I'm on camera, obviously. You know, I don't think about it in normal conversations with people, but then if I look at it myself, then, oh, wow, that's what they're seeing, you know?

Melissa: Absolutely.

Denise: I loved that on your YouTube video that you just did, you gave that example of how you applied your principles to that situation of being a little discouraged.

Melissa: Right, right. It was. It was really interesting. I didn't necessarily. Like, I had a different YouTube video prepared for last week, and it was ready to go and posted. And then I had that experience, and I thought, I need to share this. And it's a little embarrassing, I guess. I don't know if embarrassing is the right word, but I felt A little strange sharing it. I can. Do you want me to give, like, a brief about what it was about?

Denise: That would be helpful, probably. Yeah.

Melissa: Okay. So, when I launched the course originally, last week, I kind of had these big, high hopes for what was going to happen. And I thought, everyone needs this course, and it's going to be so amazing, and it's going to change the strabismus world. And all these people who suffer are going to finally. Like, I was really optimistic about it, and then not very many people signed up to join, and I was super disappointed because I thought maybe it wasn't good. Maybe they don't take me seriously because my eyes are weird, right? Like, my brain was going all the places and I was spiraling. Like, I literally laid on my stomach on the bench in my kitchen and was just like, oh, like this. I'm quitting. I quit everything. I'm just watching Netflix forever. Like, it was. I mean, my family was just laughing at me as they walked by. They're like, oh, you'll be fine in a couple days. And they didn't take it too seriously. But my son said, well, mom, Isn't your course about strabismus? Like, why don't you just, like. Or not about strabismus? Isn't your course about confidence? And why don't you just, like, don't you. Can't you teach yourself something from your course? Or can't you just, don't you know about it since you have the course? And I was like, actually, there was something that I taught in my course that I'm teaching that would be really helpful right now. And that's what, you know, it's called. I called (it) a few different things in the course. We talk about it as, like, the judgment continuum. It's part of that, part of the course. But the idea is that when you start to spiral and you have, like, this, something difficult happen, whether it's like you see a video of yourself and you're like, oh, my gosh, is that how I look? And you start feeling that disappointment or you're angry at somebody or frustrated at your progress in vision therapy, right? Like, we all have these experiences and we kind of start going negative and we start thinking, like, maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I'm not worthy. Maybe no one wants to be my friend anyways. So, when we have those experiences where we start to spiral, what I teach in the course is that there's just three steps. First, you have to find the truth. The Truth is like, what. What are the facts of what's going on? And then the next would be to have compassion. Compassion for yourself, compassion for the other person. Right? So, for you, you were talking about, you're on this video and you're like, oh, my gosh, do my eyes look weird? Or is there something wrong? Right? And you start worrying about it. The truth is like, maybe, like, you have strabismus. Like, your eyes probably aren't always perfectly straight. And that's the reality of it, right? I haven't noticed personally, but I'm just saying, like, for those of us with strabismus, if we're noticing weird stuff with our eyes, like, it's probably not our eyes playing tricks on us. It's probably that our eyes are doing something weird. And, and that's the nature of the beast. So that's the first step is the truth and the compassion is. And I, I'm okay, and I'm still worthy and I still have so much value to add. Even if my eyes aren't always pointing straight, I'm still going to continue to make videos because I can help others and I have worth. It's okay that my eyes are not always perfectly aligned. And then the third part is, is curiosity. And this is my favorite because it really is what takes you out of the spiral into, like, moving forward. And that is just like, I wonder, I wonder if the fact that my eyes doing weird things in the videos helps people realize that, like, I'm living what I say, I'm not just somebody who doesn't get it. Like, I really do understand. Or I wonder if there's an exercise that I need to do that could help me with my eyes. I wonder if I need to revisit this, right? So, it kind of. You start asking yourself questions and that helps you move forward. So anyways, that's what my YouTube video is about. And that is part of the course. That's not the whole thing. But that's just one of the videos I talk about that the truth that we call like the truth continuum or I don't know, I need to come up with a really good name for it.

Denise: But yeah, I think the truth for me in that situation is that it would probably be a good idea to videotape myself and look at it and change some of my habits so that they're not so weird, perhaps. And then if I'm on a video with you again, I won't be so upset about it, you know, because my kids looked at it like, it's fine, Mom. And I'm like, it's not really that fine, you know?

Melissa: Right. Well, and it even, like, sometimes I think it's really powerful to look at that video and watch yourself, you know, because I totally do my eyes all over the place in videos. People can watch my videos and be like, yes, she definitely has strabismuss. That's fine. Right? But watching that video and being like, yeah, I have, I, I do not have perfect vision and I don't have perfect eyes, and it's okay. Like, that can actually be really, like, not trying to hide. Right? Not trying to hide and say, oh, I can't, I can't do a camera ever again. But just be like, yeah, this is who I am. This is part of my face. This is what I look like. So, well.

Denise: And I have an easier time with my voice because I've been doing the podcast, and that never has really bothered me ever since I started doing it. But this part where I know you're videotaping us doing this today, that part makes me a little more concerned.

Melissa: You know, I'll make sure to let you preview anything before I post it.

Denise: I was, it was fine before. I'm sure it's fine again. I, it's just not.

Melissa: Makes you nervous. Right? Like, that's that, like that whole past. We live a certain way our whole life, and even after we fix our eyes, we still have those natural beliefs, right? These beliefs that come with us, and we have to, like, question it and become. Raise some awareness about it. That's how we move on emotionally. Right. Like, physically, you've got these perfect eyes that can see in 3D and it's amazing. And they're straight. Right. But, like, emotionally, you still have, like, some of those beliefs that you've carried with you your entire life.

Denise: Well, 54 years of my eyes being different. Right. That's a long time. And I love how transparent you are about the whole process for you. And that's the thing that I've struggled with. I have not been transparent. I look back at the conversation that I had in episode two where I told my story, and when I listened to it again, I was thinking, wow, I really didn't give very many details. I really was not very transparent. I haven't been that transparent even on my blog, because it was just difficult for me to do that. And I'm working through all the emotional baggage of that.

Melissa: Right, right.

Denise: Because my journey didn't look like I wanted it to. And so, I didn't share all that struggle with everyone like you have.

Melissa: Right.

Denise: And I think that's why people are so drawn to you. They're like, oh, yeah, she's real. She's putting it all out there. You know, you really show all of. the details about all the stuff. Right.

Melissa: Maybe too many details.

Denise: Oh, I think people love it, you know, and I have.  And very different than that in the way that I've shared. And so, I can take a lot of lessons from you that way, I think.

Melissa: Good to remember, too, though, that we are also very different. So, we're going to, like, have, like, I feel more comfortable with the video because then maybe I can distract from some of what I'm saying with, like, some wild hand motions if I'm just talking. Like, I have to have really good things to say. I need the video. And so just different strengths, right?

Denise: Yeah.

Melissa: But it's. so great to, like, work through it. Like, why? What. What is it? Like, I've had certain posts or certain videos like, that were really hard to post, and I'm like, why is this so hard? Like, when I announced that I was going to get strabismus surgery. Oh, that one was so hard because I was like, well, here I go. I'm announcing to everyone that I failed and I didn't do it with vision therapy. And I'm not like, that was so hard. I'm like, that was. That was huge. Right. To get through that and move past it. Like, yeah. But this. is the journey that was meant for me. Like, my journey doesn't look like everyone else. Like, I'm not the same as Sue Barry, and that's okay. Like, we're two totally different people with two totally different brains and.

Denise: Right. And also keep in mind that Sue's eyes were aligned from the surgery. You were overcorrected. So being overcorrected, going from esotropia to exotropia, that's a whole different challenge.

Melissa: Oh, yeah.

Denise: And I didn't have that challenge. You know, I didn't have surgery as a child, and so all I had to do was get over my esotropia. Yeah. And I think that that's part of why I got over the surgery so quickly and all of that, too, because I had one surgery, you know, adult, and that's it. It's all good.

Melissa: It is.

Denise: And I love, though, how supportive your family has been of what you're doing. You know, and your son reminding you, oh, you have the tools. You're giving people the tools. And it's awesome that you're doing that. Oh, you know, big takeaway today is look, look at what Melissa is able to offer because she walks the walk, she talks the talk.

Melissa: I think a big part. And I. I've noticed this as an adult especially, that I don't hide my emotions very well. Like, I am not good at faking it. Like, that just isn't, It's not in my toolbox, right? So, when I'm having a bad day, I'm like, I'm having a terrible day and I feel very depressed, right. I just, like, say it out loud. And if I'm happy, I'm like, I feel very happy today. And, like, I could maybe conquer the world. Like, I'm very up and down. And so, what I've noticed is, like, even after posting that video, so many people posted such nice comments, and it made me feel so good. And I thought, oh, this is what happens when you share when you're having a struggle that people can. They know how to help you. Like, if you keep it all inside and you don't ever talk about a struggle or a frustration that you have, then you're kind of on your own. But once you share it, it's like, oh, my gosh, there's like a whole community. There's a whole world. My family, friends, Internet friends. Like, these people are. There are more people than I knew that were, like, in my corner pushing for me. So, I feel really lucky, like, oh, maybe wearing my emotions on my sleeve and just blabbing. It's like, actually going to help me.

Denise: I think that's true. Yeah. So, let's tell people a little bit more about your course.

Melissa: Okay.

Denise: You have a course already called Mastering Peripheral, and that is a (course where ) you go along at your own rate of speed. But you have bonus videos that people watch with the course, right? So, if people sign up for your course this week, they get to participate in those bonus videos, right?

Melissa: Yes, exactly. So, because you mentioned Mastering Peripheral, that course is more designed for people who are in vision therapy who want to improve their peripheral vision or maybe are struggling and they need an extra help. That's who it's designed for. It's more based around, like, eye exercises and like, actual vision therapy. This course is completely different. We do go into a little bit of, like, how to physically fix your eyes. Just scratching the surface to kind of help people get started. But the base and like the foundation, the whole thing is about the emotional impact of having strabismus and how to move through that. Right? How to still have the life you want and get the results that you want with or without strabismus, and how that doesn't have to impact those results. Right. So that's this course. So, I am. the next six weeks, I'm doing a zoom call every week that is going to be a deep dive into one of the videos that is already in the course, or we're going to be doing different examples. And then anybody who's in the course and signs up by this Friday is going to have access to those zoom calls. And that's just included, and you don't have to pay extra for those. And you get to come with your own questions. So, the idea is that you would watch the first section before we, you know, have. Well, the first video is fine. You just come show up. That's your first one. But then by the next week, it's going to be okay. Watch these videos, come with your questions, come with your own situations, because I give examples, but they might not resonate with every person. And so, I want to make it personal for people. I want to really go over the things that are a struggle for them, because, you know, I don't even think I have an example about zoom calls, but that's totally something that we could. We should have in there. And so, I want people to be able to come bring the struggles that they personally have, and then we can dissect those, help them come up with solutions. There's a lot of worksheets in the course where they're asked to do different, you know, actually writing exercises. And so there might be ones where you're stuck. And so, I want to help go through those things.

Denise: Yeah. So, the perfect time to sign up.

Melissa: Is before Friday, March 1. And those videos will be made, they'll be added to the course in those sections, but you won't be able to participate live unless you sign up now. So, sign up in the next week, you get access to all those videos. And that's just. I mean, you're getting that Zoom help. With me personally, you get to interact. If you want, you can totally come on live and talk with me, and we can actually go through, or you can submit questions to the Q and A if you're not comfortable with that. I know some people with strabismus have a certain aversion to Zoom. I get that.

Denise: Right. So, let's just say someone listens to this after March 1, 2024 but before you're done with all the calls, can they still jump on to the calls that are left?

Melissa: If. As long as we don't hit our limit, I want to keep the class size at 20 or less because I. I want to make sure people are getting that individual help that it's actually know if we have 200 people in there, it's not going to be really what I'm going for. So as long as we have 20.

Denise: People to sign up in this time frame, get to be on the zoom call.

Melissa: Exactly. So, if you're within that first 20 people. So, you know, maybe. Maybe we'll still have spots open by the end, but I'm hoping that it's going to. All 20 spots will be filled by this Friday. So, I would just do it now, before later so that you can guarantee a spot.

Denise: Absolutely. Yeah. That's definitely the optimal thing to do. That's why we're sharing it with people right now, so that they know that they want to be involved in that, then now is the time to do that. Awesome. Is there anything else that we want to share with people about this course?

Melissa: I will just say that you probably think, oh, I don't need this. I need eye exercises. I know that's what people are thinking and that's what I thought. But I promise you, you can do all the exercises in the world, but if you don't have that foundation, that confidence to move through that, because it's going to be hard. It is in. It is a roller coaster going through that vision therapy process, having strabismus. You will be so much more successful with the eye exercises. And if you do this piece first, even spending the next six weeks on it is going to make a huge paradigm shift for you. So, I'm really excited about it. I know people just want the exercises. I made this because I thought this is what they really need. This is what's going to actually change their life, help them have what they need to move forward in their vision journey. So, I just hope people, you know, recognize that and I think a lot of us know that internally that that's a huge piece of.

Denise: I love it. I. And I love your passion for it. It's awesome. I hope that you have all the slots filled by Friday, and if not, then people might still have a chance to. jump in. Either way, they can still get the course at any point in time, and there will be videos that will support it in.

Melissa: Absolutely.

Denise: So awesome.

Melissa: We're just gonna whoever is there when we start. I'm excited to work with them and it doesn't matter if there's one person or 20 people. I just, I know this will change people's lives. So even if it's just that one person and we get to do a one on one like I'm delighted with that.

Denise: Awesome. Well thank you for sharing that today and we'll get this up quickly so that people have plenty of time to hear it and sign up for your course.

Melissa: That sounds great. Thank you for having me on today.

Denise: You're welcome. Thank you for listening today. Melissa has graciously offered a 10% discount to those who use my link and the code HEAL10 when they purchase her course “Confidence with Strabismus.” So, take advantage of that great offer. You can connect with me on Facebook at Healing Our Sight. I'd love to know what you would like to hear about next. Have a great day.