Foundations of Love: 5 Strategies of a Healthy Relationship With Akili Carter Part 2 of 2

Join the conversation with Lisa and special guest Akili Carter, as we cut through the Valentine's Day noise and get real about love and relationships. With Akili's unique blend of personal experience and professional expertise in counseling couples, we uncover the raw truth about what makes a relationship thrive and offer revelations that could redefine your approach to love.

Takeaways

• Our parent's taught us what arguing looks like as couples but we were not taught  the proper way to argue

• Steering clear of the destructive paths of 'right fighting' and scorekeeping, we pave the way for healthier, more gratifying exchanges that strengthen bonds rather than fray them.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:10

Welcome to LAGO. My name is Lisa. Join me on the journey in having real raw and uncomfortable discussions about fitness, health and everything in between, because, let's be honest, this journey would suck if we don't get our shit together.

Speaker 2: 0:37

Who taught you how to fight? Who taught you how to get into a fight? Here he goes.

Speaker 1: 0:43

Well, seriously watching my parents.

Speaker 2: 0:45

Yeah, but who sat down and said, okay, we're going to say husband.

Speaker 1: 0:49

Nobody. Nobody said okay, well, you know, next time you get an argument you're going to use I statements and you're going to.

Speaker 2: 0:55

nobody said that no nobody took the time to talk to you and tell you okay, this is how you feel, this is what you take. You know, take five minutes, take a breath. You don't yell, don't scream. Oh, nobody did that shit. My parents would argue all day. Four hours would go by and they would come down smiling. I know my parents talk about anything. In 50 years, nothing.

Speaker 1: 1:20

Wow.

Speaker 2: 1:20

Yeah, I mean, I saw them have conversations, but when they were mad after my mom stopped trying to spray him with stuff, my dad would hardly. They would talk whatever, and I'm a human. They talked, but it was never in front of us. They argue in front of us, but as we got older it was a lot less. When we got, when we were younger, and that's important, especially with kids. You can't argue in front of kids. They're very sensitive, they're very empathic with that stuff and they tend to personalize and to make it their fault. So the rules of engagement are teaching you because most people learn from their parents or whatever role model couple they had in front of them.

Speaker 2: 1:58

If the husband saw a lot of fighting, his murder burns, murder runs high right. If the wife saw parents, just okay, okay, motor runs really low. If I'm fighting up here, at least you're fighting down here. You know what we got to do, right. We got to pull the low motor up, right to make it even. No, that's how a person whose motor run high thinks they think that I own. They only care if they're yelling and screaming. But you live in New York when people curse you out and drive and are you saying oh, thank you, I appreciate you. I want to cut you off. No, thank you, you're not. It's annoying because the premise is I need you to be at my level If I'm a high, if I'm a high motor person, not I should go down to my low motor person is, if we can't have a conversation at this tone when I'm having a conversation, argument or not, I don't need to yell at you, and these goes into the rules of engagement.

Speaker 2: 3:03

It's a guideline. I tell some people print it up and put it on the damn refrigerator. No yelling, right. How long should argument be? No longer than 30 minutes, oh my God, 30 minutes. We're not even done warming up. We're still getting our opening statements then. That's great. But after 30 minutes cyclical, just going over the same stuff different ways, 30 minutes get in, not working, get out. Okay, I see you're really upset. I see I'm really upset. We're going to table this conversation right now. Or I'm not comfortable having a conversation right now because I don't want to argue for the next five hours. I'm going to table it. We'll come back to it in two hours Separate, then you can come back. That's number three.

Speaker 1: 3:43

Go further. You want to talk about the I statement. So we kind of not a lot of people know what the I statements are. So what are the I statements?

Speaker 2: 3:53

So some people cause got me. They called soft opening and I quote got me just because the book is good and it's easy for people to reference. I statements are really a soft opening to an argument. If me and you get into an argument, I say you know what, lisa, you're full of shit, you're gonna listen to New Yorker? And you comes out you're like oh really, am I full of shit? You ready to fight? If I say, lisa, I feel that you aren't being forthcoming with me. Now, if I do a soft opening, an I statement, a soft opening, your response is gonna probably be a soft opening, back opening dialogue, not opening. Let's do this for five hours. You could say, oh, but Akili, I feel that you're full of shit Whatever you say. And the language is a little bit more involved. People have to learn how to communicate. They gotta learn this. But the I statements are important because I'm putting my feelings out there.

Speaker 2: 5:00

And it's hard because we don't learn that. We don't learn that. I feel we say you know, lisa, you always do that. Wow, that's not about how you feel. You're going to criticism of Lisa and that's not gonna open the conversation up. That's why it's called the soft opening. A hard opening. All right, let me just bring the sledgehammer and knock you upside down with it. You're gonna knock out, die, or you're gonna respond. But soft statement, soft opening, let's talk about this, let's put it out there for you to digest it.

Speaker 2: 5:34

So I statements are important, feeling statements. I call them there's a lot of ways of labeling it, but it's really. You want to put your feelings out there. You are a person that you went to understand those feelings and then to put their feelings out. Now we're into a conversation which is a mutual exchange of ideas as opposed to a butting heads trying to be right. And right fighting is one of the things that I talk about, because right fighting is keeping score, and I asked this example a little time Me and Patty get into a fight. That's my wife, by the way. Hey, patty, what's up, baby, what's up? It's my mom. We get into a fight. We're arguing. I've won the fight, right. Yes, did it. Rocky's playing. I'm jogging up and down the street taking my victory lap right. How's she feeling?

Speaker 1: 6:23

Defeated, deflated, like not good.

Speaker 2: 6:26

I'm trying to finish my victory lap. She's not feeling, she feels like crap. Right, what do I have to spend the next two hours doing now Picking her back up? Which relationship we supposed to catch each other? I didn't even win cause she's upset. So we think, right fighting, I'm right, I'm right, but if you're gonna pounce on your partner and make them feel like crap, I still gotta pick them up anyway and I still lost. So, right fighting is. I need to be right, I need to prove my point, I need to show my statements of facts, and I find and this is not anybody, but this is my experience, I'm not. Anybody can be like this.

Speaker 2: 7:03

Highly intelligent women that are very analytical tend to be very linear thinkers with certain things and arguments, so they want to present facts. I had one couple where they wanted to bring like Excel spreadsheets too. I was like do you Like? If you want to, wow, it was great. No, right fighting, which is what we just talked about. No attacking or being mean or trying to hurt the person. This is your spouse and we think that, because we're, in the moment, upset, or I'm angry, all right. Well, if I'm gonna go and trance on my again, you still have to pick them back up or deal with that later. Why are you trying to beat them down? Because I hear it a lot when guys like, oh you, just, I don't feel appreciated, I don't feel like you care about what I do, because there's this level of expectation. No cursing, that's hard, that's hard.

Speaker 2: 8:07

You can curse. No cursing at the person, no, your piece of shit. Yeah, exactly, I agree you know, fuck that shit is different.

Speaker 1: 8:14

Yeah, I agree. Yeah, that's pretty good.

Speaker 2: 8:16

Listening more and talking less. That's the last one.

Speaker 1: 8:19

Okay, so, god, where do I begin with this?

Speaker 2: 8:23

I don't know. It's great. I love that. You don't know, you know what?

Speaker 1: 8:26

I will say this. So this is my takeaway with this and, once again, this is how you can know the difference between and this is again I'm talking to the women, because they're on this, they're listening to it. Yes, this is how you can tell the difference between somebody who really has your, who really has your Best interest Best interest versus someone who gives you shit about you.

Speaker 1: 8:52

You said, when you win, when he wins the fight. So if you're with your spouse or girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever the other person, and they win the fight and they're like you know, hey, like doing the victory lap, and you're sitting there like feeling like sad and you're crying and they could give two shits and be like, oh, it's on you that you, hey, I won this one, babe, Ah, okay, let's go out now they don't care about you. Versus someone's like okay, honey, look, you know, and now they're gonna take that time to talk to you, to lift you up and say this is hey, why don't we work this through next time? I mean, this is what's gonna strengthen the relationship. Big fucking difference between someone who can give a shit it leaves you there while you're crying and goes to the bathroom or like I'm gonna play my video games versus someone who's gonna sit there and talk to you, hug you and say, okay, honey, come on, let's talk about this.

Speaker 2: 9:52

Big fucking difference. You go girl.

Speaker 1: 9:55

So I just had to say that. All right, so the next one. What do you?

Speaker 2: 10:01

got. So the one, and that is, it's not really necessary.

Speaker 1: 10:05

Oh, you did bring that up.

Speaker 2: 10:06

yes, but it's talking about building a culture of appreciation. I think that's important because, like I said, the first two questions I ask anybody are they nice to you? Do they treat you well? Well, yeah, duh, of course you say that, but that arose over time. And what starts as oh my God, he's great, oh my God, she's dope, she's amazing. Then it's like he ain't shit, he's a whore, she's a slut, he's an asshole, he's a dog.

Speaker 2: 10:35

I've heard it all. I've heard it all and I've watched whole relationship lines where it starts off up here and then it's all the way down yeah, well, a relationship's going to have a line of progression and you're going to end up somewhere in the middle. They're going to be. Relationships are supposed to be predictable and they're supposed to be I don't want to say boring, but they're not going to be exciting every single day. That's a relationship. When people don't like that, they can't handle it.

Speaker 2: 11:06

Well, what did you expect? You're not going to fly up to the Maldives unless you got long money, like that. Ok, if you're Lisa, you might be able to do that, but the rest of us working people can't do that. Where it's like OK, there's going to be some routine, especially if you have kids, especially if you get annoyed, especially if you have all this and you work, if you're married to a lawyer or you're married to a doctor, you're only going to get so much time. That money's great that lawyers and doctors bring in. That's a lot of time. They're plugged into the matrix. So building a cultural appreciation is really important. This is what I think what you would allude into. I personally love Valentine's Day. We celebrate it every year. People say it's commercial, it's all of that stuff Overhyped. You should give gifts, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But what's wrong with celebrating the person that you love just because you want to celebrate them when everybody else gets celebrated?

Speaker 2: 12:03

What you make of Valentine's Day is what you make of it. Right, no I agree and a lot of people beat it up because of the message, but they're not looking at the bigger message, which is okay. Well, you're not going to celebrate Valentine's Day? Then you better be showing your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever appreciation of 365 days a year, 64. I need to say something.

Speaker 1: 12:28

Let's go back to building culture, appreciation and appreciating what that person does for you. What are some of the ways that you can do that? One of the simple things that I Just like saying thank you.

Speaker 2: 12:47

Saying thank you is very important, saying you're welcome is very important. Mm-hmm, you said like morning kisses. So there's something called arrivals and departures. You kiss your spouse goodbye, so I love you when you leave, and kiss them hello and hug them when you get back. Arrival and departure. No matter what's going on, I've centered my day with okay, hey, I missed you, I love you. Oh, hey, I'm leaving, I love you. Arrivals and departures are really.

Speaker 2: 13:14

I had one couple I had to tell them are you doing arrivals and departures every day? Because this little stuff gets lost in a minutia. You know, but oh, I don't want to do it. Someone knowing it doesn't matter, but it does matter and you're not doing it, which shows me that your not willingness or unwillingness to do it shows me a lot in couples counseling. How else can you show it?

Speaker 2: 13:38

I'm a big component of learning your love languages, fivelovelanguagescom or whatever it may be. What do we do on that? Why do I learn my love language? Well, felicia's love language is words of affirmation and mine's is axle kindness. I'm speaking to my partner in their love language, not in mine. So I'm dealing with Lisa's words of affirmation so that she knows she's affirmed, she's given me lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of gifts, because that affirms me right. So love language is important, and learning to speak in them.

Speaker 2: 14:10

I would honestly say that showing appreciation is thank yous and all that stuff. It's leaving an impression with the stuff you do. Oh, hey, I got you a little thing. Oh, I sent you flowers, I ordered you tropical smoothie, I got you a coffee. Little dumb things that people take advantage of, because those are the things that stake our relationship together. Remember we said best friendship. Well, now, if I've been with you for five years and I know we're in rough grounds in Europe, say those little things, I do those more. You build back up into that trust. Also, another way is doing date nights are important, and me and Patty are in a routine where we alternate date nights. So I'll plan one, she'll plan one, I'll plan one, she'll plan one, and the whole men have to pay date stuff.

Speaker 2: 15:02

Blah, Blah, we won't talk about that the person who invites you on a date should be the one who pays.

Speaker 1: 15:07

That's why I never invite anybody. So.

Speaker 2: 15:10

That's okay, I respect that. But you're also single and pretty and all that stuff. I'm not, so we alternate.

Speaker 1: 15:20

I hear that, no for sure, like if you are married or in a relationship well, especially married and you've been together for over years, or over one year, absolutely. I've done that with my ex-husband, where we alternated One thing that you did say is the love language was. That is definitely important, that you're adhering to the love language of your partner. So like for instance me, is acts of service and words of affirmation. I need those words of affirmation.

Speaker 2: 15:52

In that order. Act of service is one for you.

Speaker 1: 15:56

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 15:57

Oh, okay, that makes sense. No, that makes sense. No, because I was thinking gifts at first. But then you have a very busy life, you have 95 jobs and you have a kid and all that stuff. So I asked the service oh, hey, I'll go pick up the girl for you. I know that's not her name. I'll go pick up the girl for you, I'll go. Hey, you need me to pick up the laundry, I'll do that. Those types of things ease up. Oh, you want me to cut your grass? Okay, got you. Those things take the burden of everything off of you. So that's why I said that makes sense for you In words of affirmation, because you're a therapist. I mean, you used to be.

Speaker 1: 16:37

Yeah, words of affirmation is very and that's important, because I was in a relationship with my ex-husband where he was giving me gifts and that's not my thing, like, by the way, I shouldn't say that. So if you want to give me, like a Cartier, hey, I'm all for that, but you know, if you really really it's acts of service and words of affirmation. You know words of affirmation saying, lisa, you got this, you can do this, I believe in you, like that shit I love and that makes me feel secure and gives me all the feels Act of service, I'm fucking busy. So, yes, you know, you taking something out of my plate and not being resentful about it, bingo, like you're doing it because you care about me and you're not doing it because you're being resentful, and then you're going to be like, oh shit, I got to do this for her, you ain't got to do shit. But that is, you know, one of my love language.

Speaker 2: 17:33

Well, I also say with single moms and Patty was a single mom before we got married and my ex was a single mom Single mom also liked those things that make the parenting toll easier, because they're doing a lot of it by themselves.

Speaker 2: 17:51

You know, and this could be simple stuff. Oh, I'm going to take you fun and go shoot hoops. I'm going to take your daughter. We're going to go shoot hoops. We're going to throw the football we're going to, you know, practice our knife, you know our knife fatalities, whatever it may be, Don't edit that out. No, no, I didn't want it to be sexist.

Speaker 1: 18:11

Okay, all right. Well, don't edit that out, okay.

Speaker 2: 18:13

Thank you.

Speaker 1: 18:14

The last one, which you already talked about was I mean you alluded to it is stop living under false narratives that you create where you're like they're creating the story, oh and. And then she was seeing that man and I know she was talking about him and you know that's definitely a relationship killer.

Speaker 2: 18:38

False narratives. So this is what this is the issue and this is why I understand what false narratives a lot of relationships when you're dealing with, like the idea of infidelity, right, and I'm sure you deal with a lot of divorced moms and stuff like that that dealt with whatever that got their list to where it was. I have to take all of this baggage and I have to unburden it somewhere. It's so easy to bring that baggage into the next relationship. So, false narratives. Our brain is going to do stuff to prevent us from being re traumatized. It's our brain's job. That's why there's trauma response and there's trauma, the trigger events and things like that. Because you know you, you have these things that you've been through, that your brain doesn't want you to go through again, so it's going to try to protect you. So these ideas that you create Okay, let's say you achieve it on. Let's say you're with the person that cheated on you and you stayed together. Well, now you're hyper vigilant of everything that person does, right. Okay, and this is a true story. It took you eight minutes to get home. It's supposed to take you six. Okay, what happened? I'm striving home. Well, what about the two minutes? What did I do in two minutes. Where did you go in two minutes? Right? And it's these things. Where and this is the problem with technology when we have access to our partner all of the time to see their face, to see what they're at, to see the surroundings, to talk to them, to text them, to have all of these interactions, that are good. But it makes it harder because now I have to convince you that my face is I'm not smiling, because it's not because I'm upset with you, because it takes an authenticity out. So a lot of these false narratives are experiential, they're circumstantial, and I've had one couple where, well, you were at this person's house, what were you doing? I told you eight times well, I don't believe you, okay. Well, you don't believe me, okay, that's fine, you don't have to believe me.

Speaker 2: 20:39

Then I had a conversation today about trust and the husband has a really close female. He works with the wife. It was an emotional affair. The husband, it wasn't an emotional affair. So I had to ask the wife you guys are moving as if you're, you want to give him this ultimatum of its haramie. What's going to happen is he's going to lie and be underhanded because he doesn't want to lose. If you wanted to lose you, he wouldn't. If the person that was having the affair did not want you, they would have left, and a lot of people don't like to hear that. And I don't say that a lot, because a lot of, they would not have, they would.

Speaker 2: 21:20

I'm sorry. If they didn't want you, they would have left.

Speaker 1: 21:23

Are you sure about that?

Speaker 2: 21:26

Oh, we're talking about. Who we talking about?

Speaker 1: 21:29

I know a couple of couples that they did. They. They've stayed with cheating partners and the partner stayed with no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2: 21:37

the person who cheated would have left.

Speaker 1: 21:41

Yeah, the person who's cheated is not leaving. He's doing his little thing on the side, or she? Sorry, and he's still there. Yeah, he hasn't left.

Speaker 2: 21:53

He doesn't want to, if he didn't listen to what I'm saying, oh okay, if he didn't want you, he would have left. If she didn't want you, she would have left.

Speaker 1: 22:06

Yeah, but that doesn't make me feel good.

Speaker 2: 22:09

It's not supposed to make you feel good. It's truth, do you not know me? Hello, I'm Akili. How you doing, guys? So what I'm?

Speaker 1: 22:15

saying is that if someone said well, if he didn't want, if he didn't want to beat, if he didn't want you, he would have left, but he also wants his side dish as well. He wants you and the side dish.

Speaker 2: 22:28

No, I'm not saying that the side dish stays. I'm not saying that the affair should go on. I'm saying that from the point of the affair to where you are now you have to handle. You have to handle your house. She wants to give the ultimatum of him to leave, of him to not talk to her. I said well, what happens if he doesn't? I said I don't want you sending him. She said he's probably we might get divorced. Okay, is that what you want? Now there's been no physical affair that she's known of. There's been emotional stuff, maybe a little inappropriate, but nothing recently. But it's also somebody the person works with. It's a shitty situation, I know, but know what?

Speaker 1: 23:11

Hell's no, okay, hell's no. Effing way you are having an. I feel like an emotional affair is so much damaging than an actual physical one and he doesn't want to let that go and it's bothering your wife. Fuck you.

Speaker 2: 23:29

All right then Listen. I feel you Queen, but I'll say this You've been through the force.

Speaker 1: 23:39

I've been through the force.

Speaker 2: 23:41

Everybody's all about divorce until they got to wake up, and it's that person.

Speaker 1: 23:45

It's hard as hell, it's hard as fuck. I get it, but I mean, I don't know. I'll agree to disagree on this one. You don't have to agree.

Speaker 2: 23:57

Because, again, we're talking about situations. We're not talking about everybody. This is not universal. I'm talking about their situation. She's saying that if she gives that ultimatum, he's going to leave Because in his mind he's not doing it and that's his friend. Then it becomes interpretation. And remember, I said we create narratives, right, right, yeah, I can't get to him and his relationship with her yet because they're still arguing about the fact that relationship happens, happening, right. So you know it's piecemeal and people are going oh my God, they don't have to agree with me, and I tell people this all the time.

Speaker 2: 24:42

Like I said, if you don't agree with me, that's fine, you don't have to.

Speaker 1: 24:47

But you don't have to agree, Lisa.

Speaker 2: 24:49

That's why you called me. Remember that.

Speaker 1: 24:54

Man I really think we need. I wish I'm looking at your profile on TikTok and you're not even up there. You need to be more active because we need to have a TikTok live talking about this shit Facebook live.

Speaker 2: 25:04

I told you.

Speaker 1: 25:05

Facebook live. That's not as prominent. We got to do tiki-taki land, all right. So I think, listen, I think you brought up some really good points.

Speaker 2: 25:17

Lisa didn't know what to say. I love it.

Speaker 1: 25:19

For once.

Speaker 2: 25:20

She wants to argue it.

Speaker 1: 25:22

No, I mean, you came up with some good points and you know this, when you and I talk, I don't always I'm like I don't know about that.

Speaker 2: 25:29

So let me ask you a question.

Speaker 1: 25:31

I'm going to ask you one question how?

Speaker 2: 25:32

often am I totally off base and wrong.

Speaker 1: 25:36

That's not the point. That's not the point. The point is, I mean not for nothing, you do give the male perspective 100%, like you. You mentioned things that I'm like oh shit, I didn't realize that.

Speaker 1: 25:54

like you give the male perspective, especially an alpha male and you know that's another topic but an alpha Because, you know that's someone who is confident, that is secure with themselves, that's not jealous like and yet you know sometimes they're, they are I. You know some women might think well, he's, he's arrogant, but that just is the king you want a king. He's acting like a king, very secure with himself. So I go to you with a lot of my advice Looking for advice. Look, you said Women go to women for for dating advice, and I 100% agree with you.

Speaker 1: 26:35

It's probably not the best thing, but I do go to my women to get that well, to get the hugs, to get the, the empowerment and all that and the girl girl he's dumb or girl he's stupid. But then what happens is is that you then go back to that person because it was just a little fight and then they're still thinking, oh, what's she doing with that loser? So you got to be very careful what you say, which is why I come to you from a male perspective To get a better understanding of. And you've been very Gracious neutral.

Speaker 1: 27:12

Well, you're very neutral, but you're very gracious and saying oh Lisa, you know, if I say, and when you ask me a question, I'm like, well, they are doing this and I don't know because they do that, and then You're like mmm, then I know that's not a good person for me. You've made it very clear, you know.

Speaker 2: 27:32

I don't know, you have to do that.

Speaker 1: 27:33

Yeah, we go ahead. Thank you, delete this. No, I'm just.

Speaker 2: 27:39

Loop it.

Speaker 1: 27:41

A bunch of women calling and say she said it's all anyways, all right, where can we find you? This a conversation is always. I always have great conversations with you. I love it. Yes, it's uh, I like our banter and I love that sometimes we agree to disagree. So where can we find?

Speaker 2: 28:00

it? Oh, I don't think. But I don't disagree with you. I agree with what you're saying. We can both be right. I don't have to be right again. We don't what you're saying is a hundred percent correct. But I'm looking at You're looking at it from, like the people in a relation. I'm looking at the relationship, so, when I'm talking to anybody so this is my side note I'm looking at the health of the relationship, exactly. And if I'm looking at the relationship With friends, a little different, and I don't give advice, only give suggestions, because I always tell people you have to do what's best for you, right? When we're talking about a person who you are invested in emotionally, well, I can give a suggestion. Sometimes I'll be like, okay, well, if I'm gonna give advice, I'll give it. I'd really tell you this, right. But you can't go to your friends and try to help them out with your biases.

Speaker 2: 28:50

It's not gonna work out for you because, Lisa's not a killie right, and a lot of times these, these people, that these Women Not only say these women and these men, they come to me in relationship. I'm just like, oh, and I think it's funny because I do think that when women, when I have been couples counseling, think I'm going to lean men and I don't I'm leaning, I'm leaning Towards, neutral, and what I found is that sometimes Men are simpler than women think.

Speaker 1: 29:26

You are true, you're right about that. I will say you're right about that. But no, you've. You've given great advice and no, I'm just kidding everyone. Don't go to, don't be calling.

Speaker 2: 29:38

It's Carter, life coaching calm. Www dot. Carter C a RT er. Life coaching calm. You can check out my profile. You can check out Some of the things I do in counseling. Let's see, that's fun.

Speaker 2: 29:56

I have Three podcasts on Rob's network, but one is overtly opinionated. When me, lisa, jimmy and Sina when they're there, we talk about just general social topics. I have everyday experts and that is an interview show where I talk to people who are experts at what they do, because a lot of People don't believe that they're an expert. I had to fight with Lisa to get it to come on. Then she realized only I am an expert Because Lisa is very after-the-fact agreeing. She's oh, she's usually upfront I'm gonna disagree after fact. No, maybe you're right. And then my newest show is Joker LMHC presents where we talk about topics.

Speaker 2: 30:35

Lisa's gonna be on next month, I believe the 17th, I believe, at 8 pm. We're gonna be talking about somatic psychology. That's gonna be fun. We're gonna talk about running and we're gonna be talking about women empowerment. Sisters before, misters, lisa, you are doing an amazing job. I'm very happy for you. You always are what a lot of women need, which is support in a place, a soft place to land, because a lot of times after Relationships, after divorces, after abuse, after all these things, I feel like it's it's sometimes really hard To pull women back up to where they should be.

Speaker 1: 31:14

Well, wow, mckaylee, thank you so much. You've been a great friend, still a great, a good friend. Never met him, but everyone.

Speaker 1: 31:21

I didn't know you were six, five, oh my god, I'm only five, four. I'm gonna be like tiny when we meet someday, but no, you've been such a great confidant. I really appreciate you. Thank you so much for being on my podcast. I hope, of course I. I well, I know a lot of women have heard the things that you said and I hope they take it to heart, reach out to him. I will put all your information on the show notes. But, yes, thank you so much. Thank you and until next time.