Crispy Crunchy Burned Out - Why I took April off!

Why did I take April off?  

...because I was experiencing early signs of burnout!  And in this episode, I'll discuss how those signs showed up for me in real-time and finally convinced me to take some time off and truly investigate what was going on in my world.  

I'll also share a few tips to break the stress cycle as outlined in the Nagoski sisters' book on the topic.  You won't want to miss this cliff notes version of burnout prevention from someone who knows it all too well.   

This is the first in a series on Burnout and Burnout Prevention...so take a deep breath and Enjoy! 

Jes

Transcript

Welcome to the Reinvention Road Trip a coffee shop style podcast that is helping thousands of women dream bigger and level up in business and life. I'm Jes Averhart. Join me as we learn from the baddest women in the game who share their powerful reinvention stories, each one dropping unique gems and takeaways just for you.

Listen, it's time to get inspired, dream louder, and own the keys that will unlock the next best version of you.

Why did I take April off? Or rather, why did I snatch every block of uncommitted time I had during that month and protect it for me? Well, because I was experiencing early signs of burnout. Welcome to the reinvention road trip, where we are getting ready to go into a new series all around the topic of burnout.

So enjoy this. This is the opener, and then we kick it off by introducing you to Rashida Hudge over at Microsoft, we're going to talk to executives. Channel advisor, coastal credit union, IBM, a notable law firm. And we're gonna unpack it really discuss what's happening in the workforce particular insights that might be helpful and just really reinforce where the agency lives who's responsible and what we can do about it.

Now back to. So my come to Jesus happened around 6:00 PM on a long but productive day. Actually it was on a walk, just trying to decompress and prep, process the day's events and a friend called me to download like many of us. I felt obligated to answer. And I was overwhelmed that I had to give up more time of myself in that moment.

I started to tear up, I answered the phone anyway. But I didn't have it in me. That call was the straw. I was the proverbial camel, and I literally didn't have it in me to care about what she had to say to care about what was on her mind to really even focus and listen. I know that's awful to admit, but it's.

That feeling that I had that day in March, which led me to my April hiatus that feeling is called compassion fatigue, and it is one of the first signs of burnout. So I did what any self-respecting humid would do, who makes a career out of personal development? I finished crying, finished my walk and I bought a slice of salted caramel cake from a little restaurant down.

Listen, when I finally pulled myself together, I realized that this was less about her and way more about me, my lack of emotional boundaries. It was about my season of over-commitment. And so fast forward to today, I feel really good. I'm bringing more of the good stuff into each of every day. I'm saying no, when it doesn't serve me, even if it's hard, but I had to take a lot of time in April to get to this point.

And that shouldn't be the case. We shouldn't have to push pause on our entire life to reset. What is important is that out of all of this, I learned something critical is up to me to prioritize my well-being and to understand and be able to verbalize what I need. And I need to do that today. And then again, tomorrow.

And then again, the next day it's rinse and repeat, it's a consistent drumbeat. One of the things that I've learned is that self-care is not a defensive maneuver. You don't deploy it when you are broken or hurting or tired or exhausted. You have to deploy this idea of caring for your wellbeing consistently over time and every time.

So here's the thing I know I'm not on this island by myself. I know you've experienced these feelings too burnout right now has a tight grip on many of us. And like I said, at the start, I had the unique opportunity to speak to hundreds of women during the. Women's history month, sort of foray ready to, as I was running around and speaking at companies and non-profits I got a chance to share space on panels, discussing mental health and self care.

I did have wonderful one-on-one conversations and got great feedback after each event. And they were enlightening. They were enlightening to say the least, and they reinforced in assumptions that executives, small business owners. Even members of my 28-day reinvention road trip, employee employees across all levels are telling me, Jess, we're tired.

We're crispy, crunchy, burned out. So it was in these conversations that it dawned on me that self-awareness around. The issue of burnout is actually pretty high people know it. We know we're burned out. We're trying to course correct. We're all trying really, really hard, but the long-term solution to burn out.

Is not just, a bubble bath or a walk in the park. It's a deeper understanding. The things that we've been told we'll fix it often. Don't, they're merely a temporary solution. In fact, it's possible that self-care, like I mentioned, the self-care routines are adding pressure instead of providing restoration again, being used as.

Weapon, almost around a defensive self-defense maneuver, right? Like we're on the basketball court. We're pulling self-care off the bench in the time that we need it. When we're about to hit the buzzer. Then we got one shot left. That's not when we pull it off the bench, but we are in the red zone.

So I think it's time to dig deeper, a lot deeper. And like I mentioned, I've had the privilege of thinking about all this stuff for a little while exploring solutions. And I decided to get in the boxing ring with burnout, with the sole purpose of uncovering better resources and finding new answers and support for you.

So within this series, you're going to hear from those executives that I mentioned earlier, and we're going to take this topic. Now in order to prepare, I went back to a book that I'd already read and I went and read it for the second time. It's called burnout, aptly named it's called burnout. The secret to unlocking the stress cycle.

It's by Dr. Emily Nagorski and her sister, Dr. Amelia Nagorski. And like I said, I'm rereading it. It's taking on new meaning right now because I'm in a new season. And so in an effort to entice you to read that book, I wanted to just offer a few key takeaways in this particular podcast. So first let's just level set on what burnout is the Nagasaki sisters use research established by Herbert Freudenberger.

He's the man who coined the term burnout. And that's the foundation of their work. And this is how they break it down. They say that burnout is the emotional exhaustion around caring too much. For too long. It's also depersonalization the depletion of empathy and compassion also known as compassion, fatigue.

So again, this one stunned me into my April retreat. The fact that I didn't have compassion for a dear friend says that we're, we're on the edge here, girl, get, take care of yourself. And then third, they define it as decreased sense of accomplishment, feeling that no matter what you do, it really doesn't make sense.

So you're just tired. You're feeling like, and I don't have that sense of accomplishment. Like I used to when I finished a project or came to the end of the week. So I know this is where you're going to say, okay, Jess, I get it. Clearly, I'm burned out. So now what, now don't worry. Then the Guskey sisters and I have your back.

So according to their research, every day, you must interrupt the stress cycle that causes long-term. And I just want to emphasize this each and every day, you have to do this. You have to actively do something that short circuits, your stress, and here's how to do it. They offer a lot of suggestions in the book.

But again, I'm just trying to give you some high level and clear. Easy tips that you can use. As soon as you're finished listening to this, the first is to interrupt your stress cycle. One of their, tips is to move your body. And I know we hear this all the time that endorphins are going to save the day I get it, but it's true.

And there's a reason why we hear it all the time is because there's science behind that. And recently I bought a rebounder. If you're unfamiliar with what that is a, Rebounderz like a tiny. One person trampoline. And I had one from years and years ago that I got at a secondhand store and it was.

Making me nervous. Like it might break when I was on it. So I bought a new one and I thought, bouncing through my work day could be a fun change of pace. And I, a joke to friends like, listen, if if we're on a zoom call together and I'm off camera, now, you'll know why. Right. I'm on my little trampoline, but moving your body can immediately disrupt and interrupt that stress cycle.

The second thing they recommend is affection, which I love. They say that, you know, They're very specific with their recommendations here. So you should get out your timer because these are very timed suggestions, and they suggest that in order to break the stress cycle, it can be as easy as a six second kiss, a 22nd hug, six minutes of snuggling after sex and helpless laughter, which I think can just be endless.

There's no time limit on that. And as they were outlining this in the book, one of the ways they described that you'll know that you've released the stress cycle for the day is that you actually feel your body release, like having that 22nd hug and embracing somebody for that long. There's a point over those 20 seconds where your body just relaxes almost just gets kind of like putty.

You're just so relaxed that moment. That feeling is the release of the stress cycle. And imagine carrying that stress that you released day after day after day after day and never releasing it, that's when we start to see this chronic sort of habit and pattern that can lead to burnout because we have not given our body the space and margin to just really.

The last thing that I'm going to share, but there's others. In the book about releasing the stress cycle is self-expression. So they tell us, and I love this suggestion cause I love to be creative as break out those crayons, you know, exercise your creative muscle, right. Draw, seeing whatever works for.

I create playlist for every mood. So I don't know about you, but like one of my favorite songs is I want to dance with somebody by Whitney Houston and there's it like crescendos, you know, you're about, I don't know, 45 seconds in the song. And then it breaks out into the chorus. And at that point, I'm all in I'm yelling, screaming the song because we, my house and dancing around my living room.

And, at two o'clock, that's pretty cool. That's a pretty cool mood to be in. That's definitely breaking the stress cycle. So figuring out what that is for you, right? What's that mood booster? What's the thing that like, when you hear it come on the radio or on your playlist, you're just like, oh, this is my jam.

And it just allows you the space to release. That's what you're looking. So that's all I got for y'all it's a quick one today because I really want to get into my guests that talk about their experience with burnout and their perspective on it. If anything, I think the series will just let you know, that you're in good company, right?

That what you're feeling and what you're experiencing isn't unusual. It's not, restricted to your company or your department or your team that this is happening across the industry. So. I'll encourage you to check out our first in the series, we're going to drop every, for the next two weeks.

And so we're dropping the first three this week. So check out my conversations again with our executives from Microsoft, coastal credit union channel advisor IBM and more. And before you do, maybe find somebody and go give them a. All right friends. I will see you on the flip side in our series.

Thanks, friends for riding along on today's re-invention road trip. If you like, what you heard, tell a friend and leave us a review. I know seems like a little thing, but it is so important to see if we're on the right track. You can find the show notes@jesaverhart.com forward slash podcast. And don't forget to join the re-invention road trip by signing up for our newsletter, where I share behind the scene details.

And. It's that you won't hear on the show. New episodes drop weekly. So subscribe on apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to your podcast these days. All right, friends. Thanks so much until next time.