S8E4 - Embracing Serendipity: A Toast to Life's Unpredictable Journey and Persevering Through Adversity!! #ShitHappens

Have you ever found yourself in the throes of life's chaos, only to discover a silver lining in the form of an unexpected job offer or a chance meeting that turned into a golden opportunity? That's what happened to my guest Soda and we are here to raise a glass to those serendipitous moments in life that often go unnoticed. Together, we tackle the rollercoaster of emotions from personal rejections to the thrill of creative pursuits, all while maintaining a sense of humor – because sometimes, you just have to say, "Shit Happens."

Navigating the unpredictable landscape of creativity and personal growth, Soda and I share our adventures in adapting to change – from the rise of AI in the arts to the challenges of holding onto our core values amidst the noise of the industry. We reveal the art of staying true to oneself, even when the pressure mounts, and the importance of cherishing the present, whether we're enjoying moments with our families or pursuing our passions. It's a heart-to-heart that will remind you of the beauty in the journey and the resilience it takes to push through adversity.

Growth, we find, often stems from the very difficulties we face, and in this episode, we celebrate just that. From confronting health obstacles that reshape our career paths to embracing the support of a vibrant listener community, we're sharing tales of triumph and the power of perseverance. Whether it's a nod to the listeners who've become part of our extended family or the excitement of new creative ventures, we're here to encourage you to keep chasing your dreams, because when the going gets tough, the tough get going – and that's what makes life's unpredictable ride worthwhile.

Connect with soda;
https://thesuccesspalettepodcast.podbean.com/
https://www.instagram.com/sodakhanart/

Transcript

Shit Happens

Speaker 1 0:00

They found me, contacted me and offered me a job that paid like twice as much as the other job, and it was like exactly the kind of work that I wanted to do, so that made me a believer. That was like and everything else for the rest of the day was just amazing. So shit happens. Shit happens to you and me.

Speaker 2 0:25

It doesn't matter if you're a wizard, a king or a queen, even if you are magic. You've got to agree it's worth it to talk shit out, no matter how messy. Welcome to Shit Happens where shit always happens, and no shit is too insignificant to discuss, from trivial inconveniences to life's profound challenges and everything in between. This show explores every aspect of the unpredictable nature of existence with your favorite shit talker and host P. Yeah, it's P.

Speaker 3 1:13

Hello, hello, hello. And we are back to Shit Happens. This is my first Sunday Shit Happens at 5 o'clock because I be day drinking. On Sunday it's brunch day, you know, and it's rainy, and today's Super Bowl. So for some it's Super Bowl, for some it's Asha's concert, you know. So I'm pretty sure most people are right now out there getting Super Bowl ready. All I've been hearing about is Taylor Swift, super Bowl and all the amazing stuff. So I do not partake in American football. I do not watch American football. I do not know how it works, so I do not partake in Super Bowl, but I might watch the after show.

Speaker 3 1:58

So I'm waiting for my guest and I hope she's coming soon. I know she knows she's supposed to be here, so in the meantime I kind of don't want to say all the things why she's not here, because I want her to be a part of it, but otherwise. So I went to watch a movie yesterday. Uh, hold on a minute, sorry about that. So I went to watch a movie yesterday, right and um it's, it's such a weird, like a very stupid movie. I feel like they prolonged it, but of course I supported my boy, justin, and my guest is here. I'm going to go ahead. I don't know if she's ready. She looks like she's getting ready, so I'll give her a few minutes. She'll give me a thumbs up. Give me a thumbs up when you're ready to come on.

Speaker 3 2:58

Okay, so I went to the movies yesterday and, believe it or not, right, we were there early. So this is the power of also wearing your brand. So let me share that story the power of wearing your brand. So I went to the movies and we were there a little bit early and while we were there, we found another people were waiting at the bar these two daughters with their father. By that time we didn't know it was their father. It was just two women and a guy, these two daughters with their father. By that time we didn't know it was their father. It was just two women and a guy. So we sat next to them and we started talking about oh, the party's over here, are we even going to make it to the movie? We were drinking and cheersing and then the bartender saw my jacket. I was like wait, is that you on the back? I was like, yeah, I have a podcast called Talk. She Will Be. That's my logo. And he started telling everybody. We have a celebrity in here, we have a podcaster in here.

Speaker 3 3:49

So I started talking to the ladies and one of them is a mother to their country singer, erin Kibri, and the other one is a niece and she also wanted to start a podcast. She has a logo and everything. She just doesn't't start. So we just started talking about that and future collaborations and because the daughter is in nashville and now connecting me with all these other amazing people, she's like do you want country musicians in your podcast? I'm like, as long as they're creative and they are willing to talk about their mental health journey, yes. She's like yes, that's what I do.

Speaker 3 4:21

So it such a moment. And I gave them my sticker and my kitchen, which is like a border opener. They were so happy, they took my number and they were like we love your energy and I can't wait to start my podcast. So just because I was wearing my brand, it ended up leading to this interesting conversation and future connection and collaboration. So lock your brands when you're out there instead of wearing these adidas. And like, even my Stanley cup has my logo, okay, so look how much. All right, so my guest is ready. I'm gonna go ahead and bring this incredible hey Soda. Welcome toens where shit happens.

Speaker 1 5:06

Well, speaking of shit happens, right when I was supposed to come on, my child woke up from her nap and actually she had a little accident and was screaming for mommy and did not want daddy's help. So, yes and yeah, she was just like no daddy I want mommy.

Speaker 3 5:37

She's going through mommy phase. So I mean you have to suck it. Suck all that in, because kids are very quick to switch right. Today it's you, tomorrow it's daddy, dad, and then next thing you know it's just about friends and shit.

Speaker 3 5:48

Not even that your mommy matters that's true, that's true, but I feel like I feel like I cast myself because ever since I called it, shit happens like every guest has been like a little bit late or maybe like a little bit longer late or some shit has happened. Like literally shit, shit ends up happening. But that's why I'm relaxed. I'm like it's called shit happens, like shit is definitely going to happen. So, but welcome. How are you doing? How is your weekend?

Speaker 1 6:14

I'm good, good I'm. I'm excited that this Superbowl or whatever the thing is it Superbowl or I don't even know?

Speaker 3 6:24

something is happening. I'm calling it the asha concert. I'm calling it the asha concert because I do not know anything about american football. I am not watching football, but I know I might tune in for the halftime show for asha, but that's all I know.

Speaker 3 6:38

So I know the asha boyfriend or something I don't know marissa is in the comments and she's like, oh my god, yeah, super bowl, I forgot. I mean, you're in mexico, so I don't think you even care right now. But before we get to anything, we're gonna celebrate today. Okay, so I was waiting to celebrate with you because one today I realized that, being high from Podfest, coming back from Podfest and moving and then settling down, and then shit happened starting. I literally haven't celebrated myself winning the award. You know like to really take the time and be like yo, have a drink on yourself for that award and then we're also gonna celebrate.

Speaker 3 7:25

I hate that it's also happening today, but, um, me and soda know each other through empowered podcasting room and it is, uh, nick's birthday today. It's the I like to call him my little brother because I bully him a lot. So we're celebrating nick, and sidu's birthday was also there. And then yesterday was my one of my good friends, clita's birthday. Tomorrow is one of my good friends, sarah's birthday, so I'm doubling there. And then Soda has a win that we're also celebrating. So, soda, share your win, the one you just texted me about, the one we were texting about before we came here oh, I did have a pretty good episode that I did upload today, so I'm I'm happy about that.

Speaker 1 8:13

No, my biggest one about it is that Sean Savage said that he loved my episode and you know, when Sean says that that's legit, right, I know like he's blunt, so I was so cheers to you. Yeah, that's, that's a pretty big win, and it is um, let's see what is it? It's February, right? Oh it's my anniversary next month your wedding anniversary.

Speaker 3 8:42

Nice, how many, how many years? Six years, I think. Do you know the date? St Patrick's Day. I'm big on St Patrick's. I like St Patrick's. That's my favorite holiday. Me too. It's the green, the luck, the everything and the drinking, of course. Any holiday that is very much aimed at drinking is awful. So shout out to Marisa in the comments over there yes, let's celebrate. I'm also celebrating Marisa because she fucking nailed finishing her two albums before Midnight of the new moon, which she was hoping to do, and now I think she's creating a comedy stuff. So I have all the artists in here, because you are an artist, she's an artist, she's incredible, and I met her in Fort Worth last year, but she did not come this year.

Speaker 3 9:37

Now, speaking of that, right, I was trying to figure out what exactly I wanted to speak to you in the artistic world and as I texted you today and you gave me that news, I was like I feel like I have the perfect conversation for us to have, especially as creatives, and not just artists, but just being in the creative world.

Speaker 3 9:57

We, we, we get to, we get so many no's before yeses, which can can be very frustrating, especially when you know you are like good for this, like I deserve this, like I've worked for this right. And it's funny because Jay-Z recently at the Grammys, he did say some of you are going home tonight and feel like you've been robbed, some of you may get robbed, some of you don't belong in the category. No, it's just kind of powerful right, because both of those are true and you are just recently applied to something and, um, by not hearing back yesterday, it meant that you didn't get it. So let's talk about how that feels. And how do you pick yourself up, like, how do you motivate yourself to still keep trying and going when there's constant noise in positions, when you think it should have been a yes?

Navigating Rejection and Embracing Change

Speaker 1 10:49

Yeah, that's, that's a great question. I remember about maybe eight years ago I applied for something and I didn't get it and I was just having a horrible day. I left my phone at work. I, you know, just got all these rejections. Everything was going wrong and I went to the bus. I was on the bus and this lady comes up to me and she was just like, hey, can you write this essay that I wrote for math? I'm like you write essays for math, but anyway. So this random lady so it was about basically the law of attraction and evenness and what you put out comes back and she was explaining in a very mathematical way and I'm reading I'm like this was like I needed this, this is exactly what I needed to hear. So the rest of the day I just was like sending out positive energy, like I am going to get something better and it is going to be amazing.

Speaker 1 11:51

And then the next day, when I got my phone, I checked my messages and I got a call from the studio for this, for this TV show, that like they were hiring in my area and I didn't even know that. I forgot that. I even like, put in a. I didn't even put an application. I just put my information out on a website. They found me, contacted me and offered me a job that paid like twice as much as the other job and it was like exactly the kind of work that I wanted to do. So that made me a believer. That was like and everything else for the rest of the day was just amazing. So that's what I try to do. Whenever I get a no, I'm like okay, it was a no for a reason, because something else is going to happen, that's even better.

Speaker 3 12:39

That's so true and it took me a while to actually. You know we say that a lot, but to believe it is a whole other different thing, right? So we say I used to like I would be so mad and I would try to tell myself that. But sometimes you're still so mad, like you know, because even though you kind of believe it was for the better, but when you're in that position where you really needed that to work out and it's not working out, it's like oh my god, what the fuck? And because sometimes the better doesn't come the same day or the next day, right?

Speaker 3 13:15

sometimes it might come in six months. So it's a. It's a tricky one, but I like that. You found um your way of dealing with that, because in this creative space there are going to be a lot of no's. There are always no's. I remember when I started being a podcaster, when I applied to be a speaker at Podfest and I applied for a case study because I was like I'm not good enough to be on that. You know, I just started my podcast, so I'm applying for a case study because I just have to submit a pre-recorded thing. But in my head when I was applying I was like I'm hoping for a no so that I can get used to being told no, that way I can get comfortable with it. But then I ended up getting it and I was like, oh fuck, now I got to do it oh fuck, now I got to do it.

Speaker 1 14:10

Yeah, sometimes I started to get very comfortable with no's because that same reason where I'm like well, that happens. But then sometimes I would get these yeses for things that I was not qualified for and I'd have to suddenly become qualified.

Speaker 3 14:31

That's the thing. So I've realized that most of the times, um, I think what made me um, the lesson I learned from that to me was you know, sometimes we think just because we think we are good for that position or that particular job, or that doesn't mean we actually are. Maybe we could be better than that. That's why it's not for us. But we are just so consumed with a shiny thing that's in front of us at the moment that we're like I want that, I want that.

Speaker 3 14:58

You remember this meme I don't know, um, a long time ago, this meme used to circulate a lot where a child is holding a little teddy bear and then God is asking it for it and in the back of his hand he has a bigger teddy bear for the child. He says give me that so I can give you something. But because sometimes we're so content, we're like no, no, you're missing that. Whenever I would see that meme, it would always remind me that what is not for you will never be for you, like, no matter how much you hunt for it or run for it. And that's not only in the creative world, even in our personal lives, right? Sometimes shit happens because we kept on hanging on to shit that wasn't meant to be hanged on to wasn't meant to be hanged on to.

Speaker 1 15:49

Yeah, and I mean with, with the creative world especially. I don't know, it's probably like this in in every field, but, like with the animation world especially, it's constantly changing and you're constantly having to adapt. That's been my entire journey is like changing direction and adapting and, um, figuring out a new solution when, when, things don't work out.

Speaker 3 16:08

So and now and that's so fascinating because you're right like the anime world, especially now with the AI right it's constantly evolving. So how do you stay grounded with not losing your sense of style but also incorporating that the new things that are coming out, because it's so easy to get lost and just want to incorporate everything where you lose yourself and you don't even know where your art is heading. So how do you stay grounded in that?

Finding Balance in Life and Art

Speaker 1 16:40

it's funny. We actually talk a little bit about this in the, the episode I uploaded today about kind of finding that balance between business and your authentic creativity. We talk about how it really comes down to your, your core principles and the core not so the core principles of what you believe, but also the the basics of what you are as an artist. So you know, starting out with traditional animation, then switching to digital, then switching to writing, then switching to all these different things motion, the elements of explaining a feeling, those things are the same in all different types of art. So really honing in on those specific aspects is is the key principle to, you know, surviving through all that change. In my opinion, I like that.

Speaker 3 17:42

And, um, by the way, when you were sharing your story, Marisa was like oh my God, that story is awesome. And when I was talking about the meme, she said I think of that meme often. It's amazing because I also think anytime I'm like man, maybe there's something. But then there's also that thin line where you can't constantly keep thinking there's something better, that you also end up disrespecting or losing what you have because you're always seeking something better. There's that balance. You know, everything comes down to balance, like how much is too much and how much is too little.

Speaker 1 18:16

Yeah, and I think a lot of us, we tend to glamorize either the past or the future. To glamorize either the past or the future, and I know I have a very difficult time just staying in the present because we romanticize what, what has been or what might be in the future. So, yeah, just like really really finding little things in the moment, especially with my daughter I she's my grounding technique, I guess. Just like anytime I am like, oh, but I wish I could be doing this, or remember back when I did this. I'm like, well, I'm in this moment right now with my precious three-year-old. She's not going to be three for that much longer. She, she turns four next month. And if I don't, if I'm not focusing in this moment now, like I, gonna miss it.

Speaker 3 19:10

So I think that's a really important aspect too. That's so true. I'm the same. I'm learning, like this is I'm learning to to just be in the present and not worry so much about the future. And because, um, I've had some pretty awesome past lives.

Speaker 3 19:24

So so sometimes, when things are going hard, I try to be like man, I wish it was back then. But I'm trying to get those thoughts out, like I've lived that moment. I should be grateful that I've lived that moment, but we're not going back, like there's no going back. You got to concentrate on now and slowly sliding into the future. Like, yes, you can think about the future, but just don't overdo it or over fantasize of the future, that you lose touch of the presence. That's a very and it's funny because it's such a simple thing, yet it's such a big, important reminder to people, like you know, because we, especially in this world of go, go, go, where everybody's trying to be a hustler and to do things and to do everything in one time People are constantly on the go that you lose touch of the now, like what is really happening around you right now.

Speaker 1 20:17

Yeah, I was actually talking with my therapist about this last week how I have this fear of things being calm in my life. I it terrifies me because my life has always been so hectic and crazy and so anytime, like right now, I don't need to do a podcast, I don't need to be on social media, I don't need to do all these things. I could just chill with my child. It's like I choose to add these extra things to my life that I don't really need because it's like this, not doing, not overworking myself and stressing myself out like it's it's just so boring to me.

Speaker 3 20:57

So I'm trying to have little bits of time that I can just, but I feel with the podcast and because that's your art, that's your question, so it's not like you need to, but it's what fuels your soul, because we all need that thing. Yes, I'm not saying people were like, yes, your kid is your life and everything, but you still need a life outside of your child. You still need that's something that is just for you, outside your marriage, outside your family relationship, outside your family relationship, outside your friendship. Something that just fuels your soul. Because if it's just your child, your child, your child, you will also still get drained, because it gets to the point where I know being with a toddler 24-7, every day, it's not an easy thing. You need something that at least keeps you safe.

Speaker 1 21:44

Yeah, oh, my gosh, gosh. That is so true. And especially being a military spouse, like, and not, you know, constantly having to move and have so much of your identity as a military spouse, you so you're, your military spouse, you're, you're a mom, you know, that's, those are the two things that you are. And so it's like I can't have a normal job job because we're always working and my job was so much of my identity before, so it's like now it's you kind of lose it.

Speaker 1 22:16

I guess that's why I, you know, I I tried doing all these different things, whether it's writing, whether it's trying to comic, like I tried making a, like a web comic. I tried, you know, I was doing the AI art thing for a while and that didn't work out, and then the digital art, and then now it's podcasting and I feel like I keep. You know, nothing is really working out for me, but as long as I'm, you know, trying, I guess it's like I have at least something that I could say instead of. I don't want to say just a mom, because that is a huge thing, but I like to have something that's special about.

Speaker 3 22:58

And that's, first of all, don't say everything's not working, because you're doing amazing with your podcast. It's just that certain things take a little bit time to to grow, because you gotta really nurture them and depending on that, so I feel like there's a bright future in your art world. So don't downplay yourself, girl. Do not downplay yourself. And second, and that's the conversation I had with jamie as well, because so many people feel like the title mom is enough, like just a mom, but you're more than just a mom, and that's why she ended up starting that power power moms network for moms to be to, to, to understand that they have more power than the, the so-called title of just a mom.

Speaker 3 23:38

I'm just a mom. No, you're more than just a mom, yeah, and um, speaking of um, I'm gonna make a funny joke, but uh, therapy is not funny, but you know I'm sarcastic and I can't help it. Um, so when you said you were talking to your therapist last week that everything was calm and you, you don't like when things you know and and literally didn't you guys have uh earthquakes, so that the gods had you, you wanted some shakiness and then you, you were talking about it being to come and then the earthquake happened yeah, and you know what's funny?

Speaker 1 24:12

it's because I usually have dreams before like an earthquake happens. I usually have dreams about earthquakes. So like when my right after I gave birth, I was living I was living in Utah at the time and I kept having these dreams about earthquakes. I'm like'm like we don't have earthquakes in Utah very rarely. It had been years and then it was like no, no earthquake is happening, and then the biggest earthquake in a decade happened.

Speaker 3 24:39

I'm like, yeah, Marisa in the comments is saying you've done so many cool things. She really has. And for people who don't know the backstory of my shit happens logo actually the pic, the anime, the illustrate that's on my logo Soda did it for me. So anytime you go on a on a podcast, she draws a, she draws a character of you and I loved mine so much and I was like this works as a logo. So even when and it's funny because most of the time when I'm creating my logos, right, I also think about my merch. How will it look? But as soon as you gave me that, before I even created a logo, you remember I told you oh, my god, this is going to be some dope as much, because I could already see the much and I had to make sure that I was like I created some shit happens much and there there are only few people out there who have shit happens much, including chase of more party as a shit happens. So there has a bucket, uh hat for that to make sure.

Speaker 1 25:47

My toddler stole it. I have to find where she put it. Listen, even Jenny was like.

Speaker 3 25:54

Jenny was like Jordan is trying to steal mine, because I gave Jenny one as well while we were there. So she is fucking talented and does incredible things. So, of course, don't downplay yourself. And sometimes we don't see the progress we have done, right there and there, because we are our biggest critics, right. So we see, like I'm still working hard, I'm still trying.

Speaker 3 26:22

I was at Podfest and somebody walked up to me and they're like, oh my God, I met Soda. She did your art right. I was like, oh fuck, yes. So you see, for you to think that all these things that people are seeing, people are noticing, I know sometimes the process is a little bit longer, but we are so quick to want to see our progress but other people see it before we see it to see our progress, but other people see it before we see it. And I think that's why I like going to conferences like podcast, because people who have seen me, like you see, we went in january, so when we go again back next year in january, people are gonna be seeing all the shit I'm doing and and it's like a little validation.

Speaker 3 26:59

We all want validation, especially when we're doing these things where you don't get instant validation like a podcast. People are not quick to leave reviews, so you don't know if it's really touching somebody or helping somebody. But when you're at podcast and people are telling you yo, I've seen your growth, yo, you've done this, what you did there was amazing. Like that validation just fuels me to come back home and continue creating and doing, and that's why I like surrounding myself with creators, because we validate each other and fuel our fuels, because our passion needs to be fueled and and our families can't do that because they don't understand this world that we're trying to do like they just think like, oh, you're just drawing on your ipad, right?

Speaker 1 27:40

well, I think for me, like because I totally get that, it takes takes usually a year or two to really have a pickup. I'm I have a problem where I'm comparing myself to a year ago where you know, I did have a lot of recognition. I was getting comments every single day. I was having people telling me like, oh my gosh, I'm your biggest fan. Like I was getting like so much flattering stuff that I was. I don't want to say I got big headed, but I got you should.

Speaker 3 28:13

You should Trust me. When I won my award, my head has gone big, because it's nice to be recognized for something you're passionate about. You're working hard and putting it out there, especially in a world where people can be very evil, right? I mean especially youtube. Like youtube, people can can be evil in the comments. So when you're getting good validation, who doesn't want that, of course? Your head is gonna go bigger like duh. Yeah, yeah, it's so. What made the switch? If I have to be curious, because you said last year was high and then this year. So what? What switched?

Speaker 1 28:51

so, so, yeah, I was doing so. I got really into the ai scene in general anything related to ai really. Uh, about two years ago and I stumbled upon AI art and I joined a community called Night Cafe Studios and I just clicked with it and I grew really really fast Like I fell in love with the, the way that things were made, because I my husband was away for work and I was just alone, thousands of miles from my family and I needed some sort of outlet and this was perfect for me and I loved that community and I became one of the top artists in it. And then Stable Diffusion came out, dolly, all this other stuff that I had been part of the beta team for.

Speaker 1 29:46

I tested a lot of that and was very on top of what's going on and, um, and yeah, I was. I was so happy that I finally felt like I found myself, that I found my, because I had so many failed attempts and I'm like, yes, I finally, you know, did something and I I was there, was this on the site there were at the time, maybe a year ago, there were millions of people on the site and I was the fifth most liked creator on it, so like, Choo-choo, choo-choo, choo-choo.

Speaker 3 30:22

I'm going to cheers by myself for you.

Sticking to Core Values in Creativity

Speaker 1 30:25

I don't have a drink, but yeah, like, I would get sometimes hundreds of comments on an image and it was just it felt really good to feel to have people say, like you made a difference to me, like you, you inspired me, and feeling like I was actually doing something. And then, with the whole controversy came out, it was really difficult for me because I am an artist and I am involved with AI and I would I had these kids, a lot of these like high school college kids reach out to me and they're like, I'm very confused about this. Like, whatever you say as someone, someone like I know you're an artist, I know that you're really into AI and I, whatever your opinion is, that's what my opinion is too. And so I had so much pressure like, oh my gosh, people look up to me and I used to be like nobody cares about my opinion, and now I'm having these, these like impressionable youths, um, like actually care what I think, because they they saw me as like an anti-type person, and so I like it was. It was such a big deal for me to like really figure out what I was believing in, um, and where, where my stance was, and like, even though I love AI and everything.

Speaker 1 31:49

There are certain aspects that I had to go back to my core values, and what is kind of represented in the AI group was people who were mean, lazy, untalented, unartistic. You know, there's a stigma and it's interesting because the like what I'm known for is the complete opposite. It was the complete opposite of what I stood for and what my personal branding is like as a human being. So and I just I I couldn't really defend some of the aspects of it, so I had to step away from that, and that was really really hard because I had just recently left my religion that I had been part of for my whole life, and so I finally found this community that was equivalent to, like the morning podcast community.

Speaker 1 32:43

We are very close and so it's like I had to kind of step away from it, and it wasn't until I found the morning podcast community that I really found a replacement. But, yeah, it was. It was hard, but I think it's again sticking back to going back to like, sticking to your core values. I think that you know, sometimes I am a little sad and nostalgic about the past and, oh, maybe if I stuck to it I could have maybe, you know, a million followers or whatever. But I think that I would have regretted it a lot if I didn't stay true to myself.

Speaker 3 33:20

That's so true, and I condemn you for doing that, because in a world where we're so, uh, concentrated on the numbers and the followers, right, it's so easy to be like I'm already here, okay, let's just keep on riding the wave and I'll let them believe whatever they want to. But if you're really passionate about your art and what you want to put out there, that that aligns with your purpose and your core value, you take a second to look and be like but will I be proud once this is out? And I'm described as this, even though I don't stand for it, but just to that. So it takes a lot of guards to decide to step away than to keep riding it. So I am proud of you and it also shows that you cleaned the house.

Speaker 3 34:06

You know the right ones are gonna gonna. You don't want us to follow us. We're just riding the wave with you, but you want followers who are actually there for your purpose and for your core values, that way that the support is even more real, because those people who who knows when, when we never had started selling stuff or anything, would they have really bought it or were they just following the wave compared to people who now see your story now. You have a story like you stepped away.

Speaker 3 34:34

People can can relate to your purpose, whether, when it's time to support, they will want to support because of your character, because character is so important in this creative world, even though it's so easy to sell out I'm not saying it's not easy, like you said. You know, when you see there's a signs and you're like I'm about to monetize and I'm about to be big, I'm gonna fucking sell out and let me and I'll deal with it once I'm there, right, but once you're there you forget about actually making it right exactly, and so that's why I'm like, okay, so what?

Speaker 1 35:08

what is the? What is my reason? What is my reason for wanting to do this? Is it so I can get popularity? Or is it because I want to get money? Or it's because of you know, and I realized that for me, it's something I want to be proud of, it's something that you know. I mean, the money would be cool or whatever, if I could get that. But in the end, like I want to be proud of myself, and I'm proud of anybody who says the money they don't want.

Speaker 3 35:40

The money is lying, Like we all want. Oh yeah, I want the money, I want to be a millionaire.

Speaker 1 35:44

Me too. I want the money. Oh yeah, I want the money.

Speaker 3 35:47

I want to be a millionaire. Me too, I want the money. But until I get the money to just hear people come to me and telling me that your story touched me or you know, I'm doing this because of you, that makes my heart better, because I'd rather wait for the money but still know my purpose and stick to my core values, than get the money and lose myself, because, again, I battle with depression. So I know if I start losing myself, who knows where I will end up in, you know? So I need to stick to those core values and my purpose because they keep me grounded when I feel like no one. Maybe I should fucking buy them followers.

Speaker 3 36:30

But do I really want some bots on my shit who are commenting stupid fucking shit just for, or do I want real engagement, where people are really engaging with what I've created? I'm like, yeah, okay, never mind, we're not buying no shit, so it's really it's, it's. It's a tough thing, but, um, and that's why anybody who starts a podcast, who comes to me and tells me they want to get in a creative world, I'm like know your purpose and your core values and you'll be fine, because if you don't know those, it's so easy to lose yourself yeah, or if you try to like I.

Exploring Personalities and Toxicity

Speaker 1 37:08

For a while I was trying to be someone I wasn't. I told myself like I wanted to be this tech bro, this like total, I don't know someone who. Just, I don't care what other people think, I'm just going to say what I want. And I developed, I became someone who wasn't myself and I developed so much confusion and a lot of because I tried to put this masculine persona and then I was really confused about, like, my gender identity and all this stuff and I, like I was like I feel like I'm a dude but I'm not, and I would just be like wake up in the morning and be so mad that I'm like why? But I'm not, and I would just be like wake up in the morning and be so mad that I'm like, why don't I? Like you know, whatever, like I was just I went through this huge crisis of who I am because I was trying to be someone who I'm not.

Speaker 1 38:00

I wrote, I wrote in my journal, over and over and on my profile, like I am not an artist, I am an ex-artist. I did not want to be associated with artists because I just didn't like them. I'm like no, I'm a tech, bro, I'm not an artist. I'm learning like I'm learning C++ I'm. I only do coding, I don't do art. Ew losers. And so yeah, I wrote and you really sound like those tech boys I tried so hard.

Speaker 1 38:33

I tried so hard to be like this douchebag who, like didn't care about other people, but I couldn't do so yeah I'm trying.

Speaker 3 38:48

I'm trying to see that because the person who I met I'm trying to see like because I've already met you in real life, right, so I'm trying to imagine you in that tech boy ish and I'm like yeah, yeah, that was.

Speaker 1 39:02

It was really awkward and like, uh, like I had I would, I would draw my avatar as tech bro and call him chip tech bro. Chip is my, my tech identity when, because when I worked.

Speaker 3 39:16

I need you to send chip to me after this, because I do have a couple drawings of him.

Speaker 1 39:20

Yeah, um, because when I worked in tech before I worked in tech support, like for several years, and career.

Speaker 3 39:29

What was your dream career? Because I know there was a dream career my dream career with a visual effects.

Speaker 1 39:34

Well, first it wasn't normal like a hand-drawn animator, but those went away so Marissa doesn't even know you like that.

Speaker 3 39:43

And she says, yeah, it's hard to picture that yeah, it was a complete mess.

Speaker 1 39:47

It was not good. It lasted like a month wow, only a month.

Speaker 3 39:53

I was thinking like maybe you took it like six months.

Speaker 1 39:57

Yeah, yeah, because okay, so when I was was working in. So, is it? I don't know how normal it is to like have different personalities for different things. Not like completely like you know who you are, but like if I'm doing the dishes, then I have, you know, a different personality. This person loves doing dishes. You know I have a person for you know.

Speaker 3 40:22

You create a persona for, you have a persona for every. Okay, Exactly.

Speaker 1 40:28

Exactly yes, and I've names for all of them and I've drawings for all of them, and so you and Melissa will get along very well because she has different personas as well.

Speaker 3 40:40

Wait, I thought I know I'm not supposed to say she. I thought I thought I know I'm not supposed to say she. Marissa has different personas. Excuse you see, we all go through so many fascinating chapters. I literally go by like six names.

Speaker 2 40:55

I get this you see, I say the same.

Speaker 3 40:58

Oh my god, love that I knew like, and that's why I feel like, that's the reason why I also gravitated to you, because for some reason I'm I'm attracted to those characters, like people, just like the way I fucking love Marisa we just met last year but we have literally one of my best I can call my, my bestest podfest pals right and like so with your story, sorry, because yeah, so.

Speaker 1 41:26

So yeah, I had these these different personalities that kind of helped me through a lot of people who've gone through trauma. We develop these these different personalities, um like so I went through a lot of sexism with being in tech and people would be like, no, I only want like a dude or whatever. So I would put in this masculine. And like when I first my first day working tech I came in I had bows in my hair and curls and my nails done. I was blonde at the time.

Speaker 3 41:54

Oh, you were the typical blonde girl in tech.

Speaker 1 41:57

Yes, yeah, I was like super, super girly and I came in and like I had three customers tell me I don't want you to touch my computer, I want a man or something along those lines, like I don't want someone with painted nails to touch my computer.

Speaker 1 42:14

So then the next day I I dyed my hair like a dark, like you're like I'm gonna show you I got glasses, I I had my pants up to my belly button and I had like a pocket protector and I was like totally like brought chip into my like, but so, yeah, I had to embrace that part of me. So that's what I brought in when I was being felt like I was being under attack and so I'm like they're saying I'm just like this person, that I'm not, I'm gonna, I'm gonna pretend I am that person. I am going to embrace my, my, uh, my chip and yeah and so. But I still had my inner artist.

Speaker 1 43:04

Her name is Ellie and Chip and Ellie every night would have rap battles about the whole AI art, like literally, like I'm not going to rap. They would be cussing each other out and fighting and I just thought Karen was because, okay, so my real name is Holly. That's like my inner child, though, like when I hear Holly I feel like I'm a child. So I don't like to go by that. Soda is like my the name. That kind of brings all of my different me's together and so that's why I like to go by soda.

Speaker 3 43:38

That's why I say I still, I think I need to do a live with you and, by the way, sonic, the reason I've been calling you Marissa, alive with you. And, by the way, sonic, the reason I've been calling you Marissa, because you need to change it on your YouTube, like I can't keep up, like you need to update it over there and then. But I think I need to do a persona episode about personas, with both of you too, because this is impressive. Also, I can't hear the name Chip and not picture Chip Baskets. I love Soda. Is it Sinfield inspired?

Speaker 1 44:13

Um, I, so my dad, actually worked on Scythefield. I knew everyone, but I've never seen the show. I've never seen. I haven't seen like any of the shows that he's worked on, so, um.

Speaker 3 44:25

What was Soda inspired. By?

Speaker 1 44:34

So my last name is soda con and so, um, my husband would, people would call him soda and I'm like, hey, I want that nickname, that's cute so you stole it from your husband, you're like no, you can't keep it.

Speaker 2 44:41

You can't keep this nickname, mama keep it.

Speaker 3 44:42

You can't keep this nickname, mama keep it.

Speaker 1 44:46

I have three YouTubes and different names.

Speaker 3 44:47

I'm still Marisa too. Oh my God. You see, marisa is the like you two.

Speaker 1 44:54

I need to connect you two Because, literally, Yay, I feel like Soto was very descriptive of me Because I'm very sweet and bubbly, but slightly toxic.

Speaker 3 45:10

We all have some some toxicity in us. Whether people want to agree or not, we are all toxic to a certain level what level is. Everybody's level is different, but we all have some toxic in us and it it takes you doing a work on yourself, like, like you're going to therapy, people will actually start going to coaches. That's when you realize you also have some toxic level in you. But we all are toxic, like nobody's, like. We all have our toxicness.

Speaker 1 45:38

I'm just like a little baby toxic. I'm not like poison, you know. I'm not like arsenic or anything.

Speaker 3 45:45

I feel like I'm on the poison'm on the. I'm on the poison level, like I can be to the poison level depending on the person you know. But I'm also very sweet, like I can. I can, I can be. My toxic levels depends with who. Who deserves the toxic. The toxic I can bite or I can just be a little petty. But there's some days I just wake up and I'm like I'm going to be petty today and that's when I wake up and I start on need. So whenever you see me at clubhouse in the morning when I start going off on need, just know Paula is going to be petty the whole day today Cause I woke up wanting to be petty.

Speaker 1 46:26

I'm not very good at being petty sometimes I can be but like I mean, you have cheap sometimes I wish I could be like like you have cheap.

Speaker 3 46:36

You don't need to be petty, you have cheap. Just bring out the inner chip in you and you're fine chip is a littlety. But before we leave I have two things to, because I can't believe it's almost an hour. I was having so much fun. What is VFX animation?

Dream Careers and Overcoming Challenges

Speaker 1 46:59

Visual effects Gotcha. Short form yeah, a lot of. Maybe changing the short form yeah, a lot of like, um, like, maybe changing the background, changing someone's eye color, changing you know, making explosions happen in the background, like that kind of stuff gotcha.

Speaker 3 47:20

So you said you've already had your one time. You had your dream career about health challenges and stuff. Do you still have a dream career in mind or do you just now have a dream, something that you want to accomplish instead of a dream career?

Speaker 1 47:39

I can't really do a lot of animation anymore because I have really bad carpal tunnel and tendonitis. I would have you know I would love one day to be a talk show host.

Speaker 3 47:56

I can see that.

Speaker 1 47:58

I remember being 11 years old and being hanging out with at the Jay Leno show, because my dad worked over there and he was there and talking with us and I was like I want to do that one day, either be a host or be like's that you're back.

Speaker 3 48:22

Oh, did I, did I lose you? Yeah, for a minute. Um, melissa says it. This was so funny too. But before you finish saying what you were saying, I want to say, shout out to marisa, who just I saw her dm right now. I know it really did fly by so fast, but she is watching us on her tv. So, um, she sent me a screenshot. She's like live on tv. I'm like, oh my god, that's the most incredible thing ever. So thank you for blasting us on your tv and for being so active in the comments. You made it as much fun. I know, right, I'm going to repost it and tag you so you can see it. Continue about your, because you were talking about show hosts and what age seeing what, and then you stuck over there.

Speaker 1 49:10

Yeah, and I just I was like I want to be funny one day. I want to be funny and talk to people and I don't know but but I didn't want to be like a TV show, like I didn't want to be on TV, but like back then that's all I knew. So that's why I'm like a podcast is a good way to kind of get into that and to similar kind, similar kind of feel and it's very disability friendly. So, yeah, I like to make that happen.

Speaker 3 49:40

Well, marisa says how fun. I hosted one last year, made my own locally. You can totally do it. So hit her up, cause I mean and I know Marisa should be on I think I'm closing February with her. I think around'm closing February with her. I think around this coming weekend she's coming on my live. She did her own comedy skits in a theater. She creates her own music videos. Literally, she made a music video by herself in less than two hours in an Airbnb and sent it to me. I was like what the fuck? That's so fun, talented, so it'll happen. See how you can make this talk show happen. You know she. You see she's rooting for you.

Speaker 1 50:27

So so I just have to feel comfortable on camera, because I hate being on camera.

Speaker 3 50:32

So but that's the thing. I feel like you've kind of been doing that because you've been doing lives. I was motivated to start lives because of you, after you had me on your life and, um, um sort of had me on on the live on the day actually, I was going to Afros and Audios and we talked about my presentation a little bit and uh, mental health.

Speaker 1 50:53

I'm turning that one into a podcast episode. Actually I'm gonna edit it up because please do.

Speaker 3 50:59

I'd love to share it. It was. It was very nice and you kind of kicked me into being prepared for my talk, so it was like the best warm-up I needed for my, for my, my panel. So, um, oh yeah, uh. So, oh yeah, marissa is coming on the 16th, 11 am. Yes, we're going to have her so, but you have been much better. So I feel like again, you are judging yourself, like we are very critical about our own self compared to what people see. You have done amazing lives. You have done so many lives on IG. I don't know what you mean by getting comfortable in camera, but again, as Chris Kremisto says, that's ugly. You've already done lives. You do YouTube. You've been doing YouTube forever. Like, come on, girl, stop making excuses for yourself.

Speaker 1 51:48

I'm pushing myself, though, because I have a lazy eye, a lazy eye that likes to wander, and people make fun of me a lot.

Speaker 3 51:57

Marissa also has a lazy eye. She has high eyes. I call her high eyes. Anytime I face them, I'm like are you high?

Speaker 1 52:07

No, I just woke up and I'm like, I'm high all the time. Police, I'll be walking down the street and the police will be like are you okay?

Speaker 3 52:18

You say you love hearing your story and you read is comfortable on camera. There you go. I don't know what more do you want. Okay, as we come to an end, right, so live up, let the people know what, what you do, what you're all about, where they can find you, where they can connect you, what you have coming, what you're all about, where they can find you, where they can connect you, what you have coming up, what to look forward and tell them about the episode right now that's doing amazing, so they can go and continue upping those downloads and also leave an advice for those people who don't do well with the word no and they feel like they need to give up on every no they get.

Speaker 1 52:57

Yeah, so again, my name is Soda and my podcast is called the Success Palette. It's on basically all the podcast platforms. I have an episode that went up today called let's see. I forgot what it's called.

Speaker 3 53:16

Tell me your podcast without telling me your podcast. So we never know our podcast episodes, even though we just published them yeah, it's with.

Speaker 1 53:23

It's with Daniel Maluka, who's a writer and an artist, but he's really awesome. And yeah, and then I'm on. My youtube channel is called SodaCon Art and I post art stuff and find podcasts on there and yeah, so just when, when you get a no, just know that if it were meant to be, it would be, and as long as you are doing all that you could be doing, then I believe that the universe will take care of the rest.

Speaker 3 53:56

So yeah, it's so true. I feel like you know you just in Jesus' words keep grinding and your time will come. Don't let if the noise is what's going to make you give up, then you're going to give up so much in this world. Don't let the no be the motivation to keep grinding and keep doing Cause again. As we said, it might've not been the right one for you and the right one is right around the corner.

Speaker 3 54:22

I remember my first like. I got an email for this sponsorship company that they wanted to sponsor me. I was so excited because this was the first time that a sponsor found me instead of the other way. And, um, when I gave them my price, they were not okay with it. And at that point I had the option of either reducing it because I was so excited and whatever, or just listen to my energy and say it's okay, the right person will come. And I really needed the money. I was like you know what? I don't even feel the product that well because I've used some of them and they really haven't worked for me. So maybe it's not for me. And I was like cool. And two days later I said that to my girl, eliquity who's right for you and she'll also be on this live sometime this week she reached out to me.

Pushing Past Challenges for Growth

Speaker 3 55:20

She was like Paula, I want to sponsor you and I'll help you with your book because you've been talking about your book. I was like cool, and the same amount that she she charges was the same amount that I was charging. Those people say not to me with so, but I got. I've been thinking about writing this book forever and I got a free editor like for that price, you know. So that was also I opened. I was like sometimes it's okay to decline something that doesn't feel right, even though you need the money or you, because the right match is just around the corner. You just have to be patient, and I think most of us like lack patience. We need to learn to be more patient and believe in ourselves as much as other people believe in us. And with that, thank you all for first of all, thank you, soda, for hanging out with me on Shit Happens. Thank you for making my Shit Happens logo without knowing you're creating a future logo.

Speaker 3 56:09

And thank you, marisa, for hanging out with us and commenting and just sharing with us and just being there for us and shouting us on ig because I just saw your pause and everybody who's what, who's going to watch the replays and everything. Thank you for watching, supporting and until next time and shit happens.

Speaker 2 56:34

Thank you for tuning in to shit, an integral segment of the innovative platform Talk Shit with Pete. If you enjoyed today's episode, make sure to hit subscribe and leave a review. You can find Shit Happens on YouTube at Talk Shit with Pete. If this served, share with friends or family who can relate. Remember we all face challenges, but it's how we push past them that defines us. So until next time, keep pushing forward and remember shit may happen, but so does growth, and you got this.