S8E7 - Catwalk to Coaching; Navigating Relationships, Self-Awareness and Embracing Change!! #ShitHappens

What does it truly mean to value yourself, and how can that shape your life's path? Chris shares his courageous journey of self-discovery and growth. 

This episode of "Welcome to Shit Happens" offers invaluable lessons on embracing change, celebrating small victories, and balancing ambition with self-awareness. Join Paula and Chris as they discuss the importance of finding fulfillment both personally and professionally, all while sprinkling in some light-hearted banter about Chris's eclectic career journey from runway model to tennis pro & dating coach

Navigating job loss and dating life can be daunting, but transparency and boldness can lead to unexpected opportunities and personal growth. Chris opens up about the struggles of consistently generating content and reassessing one's purpose, emphasizing the power of vocalizing career aspirations and embracing new fields. 

Through personal anecdotes, we highlight how taking risks and being open about your journey can pay off, whether it’s in your professional life or in the dating world. Relationships and self-discovery go hand in hand; understanding oneself before entering new relationships is paramount. 

Chris's experience as a dating coach shines through as he talks about the value of learning from past relationships, recognizing personal faults, and setting clear boundaries. 

Dive into this heartfelt and humorous conversation that encourages personal and professional growth, and discover why honesty and self-awareness are key to a fulfilling life.

Connect with Christopher - https://www.instagram.com/fetchsport/

Transcript

Self-Value and Reinvention

Speaker 1 0:00

That right there, paul, is why you're such an amazing energy and soul, because it's like you will always do, like you. It's not like you're not just doing it, you know, you're actually, you're thinking about it, but you're also weighing the option on what's most important to me. Now. You know, it's like and that's that thing that that I appreciate about you, because you take those chances and not many people do that, but at the same time, you still come out like Paula. You know you still go home, you still figure it out.

Speaker 2 0:25

you know, because Welcome to Shit Happens, where shit always happens, and no shit is too insignificant to discuss. From trivial inconveniences to life's profound challenges and everything in between, this show explores every aspect of the unpredictable nature of existence with your favorite shit talker and host P. Yeah, it's.

Speaker 3 1:13

P. Hi Chris, hey Paula, how are you?

Speaker 1 1:22

I'm good You're looking fresh and shit, okay, okay.

Speaker 3 1:28

I'm doing my best. I'm doing my best. So how are you? I am good. I am good. It was a great weekend and I'm glad you have finally been able to sort this time issue.

Speaker 1 1:38

I know We've been having like some like three hour separation and stuff and I'm not used to that. So everything I'm used to doing is always like right in my backyard you know more than anything else and live. This is like podcasting on zoom and all this like stream yard is kind of still foreign to me. But I'm here.

Speaker 3 1:53

I made it. I know, welcome to live, welcome to shit happens. Now, chris, you know I love you so much, so one of my, my biggest heartbreak of this year was not being able to see you at Podfest. Like that really broke my heart, like who was going to carry me, like I mean, um, right off, and we almost did it. But it's just, it's a crisp thing, right, it's a crisp thing.

Speaker 1 2:21

I know, I know, paula, I know that my presence was missed at podfest and I actually, you know I really struggled with deciding if I was going this year first and foremost.

Speaker 1 2:30

You know, I feel like that.

Speaker 1 2:31

You know the growth of the podcast and just and just we're on that right now with everything.

Speaker 1 2:35

It's one of those things where I felt like I just didn't have a need this year to go. I felt like a part of me has outgrown PodFest a little bit now and I want to kind of move on to some of the other ones to see what those are about. But then, after not going, I realized that's like you know what it's, just I love the community of PodFest, which is that's one of the most amazing experiences I had, because it was my first introduction into the pod, like podcast conferences, as if you would say, and and I really enjoy the people that I, you know, and like you being one of them, and so many others that have this fantastic energy and they just really do well in the podcasting space, and so that's what I did miss, but but I'm ready to kind of spread my wings into other avenues, like podcast movement see what that's about and and um, you know heading out to, you know, go to a new conference that one of our mutual friends is doing this summer, coming up as well.

Speaker 1 3:25

So I'm excited about that.

Speaker 3 3:28

And that's the thing. You know, we do outgrow certain things and that's nothing bad about that, right, it's part of the journey, it's part of life. And it's actually funny because I just came from PodLabs and we were talking about what are one of the reasons that make you go to certain conferences and everything. And, depending again on every year, depending on the level of knowledge you feel like you are at or the level of where you are on your journey, there are certain conferences that will be like, yeah, this don't feel right for me with where I am for this year, and and that's fine, so are you going to the podcast movement in LA or the one in DC?

Speaker 3 4:12

I mean of course you're going to go to the LA one Cause that's home.

Speaker 1 4:15

Right, I am not doing that one, I'm skipping that one because I kind of want to go to the big one you know and I know the. You know the one that's coming here. It's not as big as the other one, so I kind of want to just surpass that one and just wait and just kind of go the one in DC. So I'm kind of kind of uh, kind of um, hold out for that, the one here. And I've looked at it and I was just like you know what I read. I read everything that was going on and I felt like you know, I think I, if I, I'll wait for the DC one in August.

Speaker 3 4:42

And that's the truth. The big one is the way everything is done. Then anyone is their version of Fyce. With the podcast global, we do it virtually. They still have the energy to do it in Fyce.

Speaker 1 4:58

I go big, I go big. I don't do all that, I go bigger. You know what I'm saying. I go bigger at home. Right, I'm in zone, that's my motto Zone.

Speaker 3 5:10

I shouldn't expect anything less right Right. I shouldn't at all. So for those who don't know Chris, right, chris is a dating coach, former runway mother, which I still don't believe. Why it's former? Because, boy, you still rock the runway anyways.

Speaker 1 5:30

Thanks honey.

Speaker 3 5:33

Relationship coach and tennis pro. You do amazing stuff. There was a post that you made I believe it was either end of January or beginning of February and it was about how much do you value yourself and me and you last year? We had a lot of conversations towards the end of last year where we were in positions where we were really looking into our values and the people around us and what that means to us and how do we you know, sometimes you do know your value, but it's so hard in the moments of life and what happens to lose your value or to even forget to add tax on your fucking value.

Speaker 3 6:15

So I wanted us to dive into that. How much do you value yourself and how do you get to a position to value yourself, how to know your worth and add that tax and stand on that?

Speaker 1 6:29

right. Well, I mean, first and foremost, it's like you have to almost like say that. It's almost like reinventing yourself all the time. Right, it's one of those things where you have to check in with yourself and like, just even like, for me, like, uh, last fall I had a few things that I was going through that I literally felt like I lost myself. You know, I didn't know who I really was and I had to really take a step back and just kind of take a moment and just realize that I need to really go a deep dive inside of my own self and figure out how to come out the best possible.

Speaker 1 6:58

You know, chris, that I can be, and it took me a few months and, you know, I did the work, I journaled, I actually had, you know, gotten a therapist as well for the first time in a long time, and and I had to kind of reset what I wanted for myself in order to move forward to who I am right now. And and so I feel, like a lot of people you know, in order to find your true, authentic self and your value, you have to really continuously check in with yourself, you have to continuously do the work you know, know, and sometimes by doing by I mean what I mean by doing the work is that you have to really take time out for yourself. You have to do self-care, self-love, things like that. And I realized that I was doing for everyone else but myself.

Speaker 1 7:35

And even though I'm the same Christopher you know I'm still the great, amazing guy that you know, paula but it's that thing where I was just kind of it was almost like a facade at all of a sudden right, it's like it was all surface Like.

Speaker 1 7:45

It was like like, where's the real Chris? It's underneath there somewhere. And now that you're getting, now that I have all that done, I've done all the work, it's that thing where it's like now you're getting both sides of like me, you're getting the person that loves myself and I'm from this is that I come first. You know, and that's the first thing that I think a lot of people need to realize is that you know we, where there's a lot of us that do for so many other people, and that we forget we put ourselves last. You know, it's not that it's like it's a bad thing, but it's like. You know, you have to bring yourself to the surface first. So reinvent yourself continuously check in with yourself and continue to value who you are as a person before anyone else can value you as a person.

Speaker 3 8:28

And that's so true. Some things you've mentioned that I want to touch on. First, I had a guest on Monday Shout out to Royalty and she was talking. She was like I don't believe in my cup being food and pouring into other people. I want my cup to overflow. That way, when I'm pouring into other people, my cup is also still full, because if it's full and I'm pouring into other people, that means mine is getting emptied and I'm giving it out. And it's funny because I never thought about it that way. I'm always like you know, your cup needs to be full first, but yeah, yeah, you want it to overflow.

Speaker 3 9:06

Because in reality, as much as we think, when people are like, what do you mean? You lost yourself. What do you mean? You're the same person, you look the same, but losing yourself is, it's kind of an internal thing, like, yes, I still look the same outside, um, and everything, but inside because you're wearing all these so many hats. Right, you are a mother, you're a father, you're a boyfriend or a husband, you are a sister, a brother, sister, best friend. Then you come into your, your business world.

Speaker 3 9:35

Right, you are a coach, you are a podcaster, you are yeah, so sometimes it's so hard like you're all these things that you forget who the fuck you really are, even though people around you know who you are right.

Speaker 2 9:48

And that's right.

Speaker 3 9:49

Or sometimes you get too comfortable in all these titles, or one title that you still forget who you are and how much more you have to offer, because you're being too comfortable in this space, right that's right, yeah, and off of that, paula, like you said, it is very constant.

Speaker 1 10:06

it's this constant cycle of just like um, and that's why, once again, you have to check in with yourself, you know, because what you just said is everything that I was doing, but at the same time, I, I, I lost myself, you know, I lost my, I lost myself in certain things.

Speaker 1 10:21

Like you know, I was maybe just a little more stressed out, letting a little more anxious, maybe a little bit more, whatever it may be, because I was pushing for so many different and pushed and pulled in so many different areas. But now it's like all I do is live in the present. Now, you know, it's nothing has changed, but I'm more present and I am less anxious. I have no stress in my life and I just love myself more, you know. And so, and for me to be that way, I feel like I'm re-energized and I have a lot more to give now again. So my cup is now getting to that point of where it is full and everything else around me is like, yeah, it can wait, you know, or I'll get to that, or it's like it's still important, but I'm not putting so much emphasis on it anymore, you know, because once again it's like if I'm not healthy and strong and doing the best version of who I can be, all that other stuff is just kind of like it's secondary.

Navigating Self-Worth and Purpose

Speaker 3 11:09

And you see, right there, you say you're so right. But also it's funny how I caught this, because I probably wouldn't have inspired and had this conversation. But you say my cup is full, but I'm still like and to some things. It's because we need it to overflow so that you can actually be like yeah to some of the other shit, right, and, and it's also, um, just like me, like last year, right, um, when you lose your, your, your job, right, and then, uh, you're also, on top of that, homeless, and people say, not to say homeless because I had a place to stay. But when it's not your place, right, I, I it was, I'm a friend offered me their place where I figured my shit out. So I was kind of still homeless in my head.

Speaker 3 11:53

Right, because you're coming to a place where you're constantly used to having your place, having your money, having a job, and now you're looking at this podcasting as well, which you're building. But you also reach the place like, okay, I just keep on having these interviews and interviews and interviews, like, where is it really going? Because one of the biggest worries you have as a podcaster is do I have enough content? Do I have enough guests? And now you have all these guests, but what are you really doing with your podcast, like, what's the plan?

Speaker 3 12:22

So you end up losing yourself in there as well, like okay, what the fuck is going on? Like how do I get myself out of this, this funk? And what you're saying is right, like Taking in is very important, because sometimes you get in that really funk where you don't even know how to get yourself out of. You have even forgotten who you really are, because now you're in this dark cloud. I don't know I knew I liked that, but because now I'm in this dark cloud, I don't know if I really liked it or because I liked it because at that time he was doing what he needed to do for me, right?

Speaker 1 12:59

That's right. It's almost like saying, getting up every morning and, just like you said, getting up doing the same cycle I got to brush my teeth, got to wash my hair, got to take a shower, got to get ready for work and then, next thing, you know, you're like where'd the day go? Right, it's the same thing, and so you. But although you've done a out to enjoy what you've done, are you really taking time out to calibrate what you need to do in order to move forward? And, quite frankly, like you just said, doing all these things, like the interviews and all these things for your podcast, is it really truly moving the needle you know what I mean In your life? Is it fulfilling your life? Is it fulfilling your podcast? Is it doing all these things that you really truly want for you? And so it's. So.

Speaker 1 13:40

It's a difficult, it's a very difficult space to be in and a lot of people are, trust me, a lot of people are in this space and they don't even know it. You know, it's like they're just kind of just going through the motions half the time and then, all of a sudden, it's almost like you're getting slapped in the face or throwing cold water and you're like wake up, you know when people. And then you're like I don't need to take a minute, I'm fine. You know what I mean, because we all do that right, I'm like I'm fine, I'm good, I don't need a minute.

Speaker 1 14:03

And you realize it's like when you do take that minute, you're like, holy shit, I really needed to take a minute. You know, like I've learned so much more about myself, where I wanted to be, and just but I, just but. I never knew that because I was too busy searching and trying to push and pull and grow and make these things happen. Where it's like, where's your success, Where's your happiness? And those are the things that I lost along the way, you know, because I had no idea what success meant to me. I, I, I felt like I was happy, but it's that thing where it's like I'm not happy until I reached this point and you're missing out all the things that are going on now, you know, in the present, and that's why I finally was like, damn like, it's like I am successful, I am happy, it's like. But I was so busy, you know, trying to reach for the top of a mountain that's endless. You know it's like everybody's got their own mountaintop right.

Speaker 3 15:01

It's like you, happy though right, and that's so true that you mentioned that.

Speaker 1 15:05

And.

Speaker 3 15:05

I had this conversation this morning on Shit Happens with Amanda and we were talking about that's why it's so important to celebrate those wins, however small they are, because half of the time we're concentrated in that, you know, like a staircase right, you're concentrated on what's at the very top instead of actually looking at these little steps you're making. I was going to take you to the top, so you still. You're making the wave. You're just not getting as fast as you think in your head you're supposed to be, because who says that's where you're supposed to be at a certain age? And that's why I've always learned, learned. This is my motto. This year it became like you know what. I'm not gonna fucking stress I am, I am broke and I have survived. God has made a way. All I have to do is keep working on the shit I want to work on.

Speaker 3 15:53

That's right and praying and trusting god is gonna lead me, because half of the time you make these plans and god is laughing at you like you think that's what it's going to be. You think that's what it's going to be? Okay, you keep making those plans. There's a big one more coming, but you're not prepared for that because you're busy making these plans, thinking that's how life is supposed to go tell people these days that even if I have the last 200 in my in my pocket and somebody says, yo, let's go do this thing and it's something I really want, and it's gonna take the entire 200, I'm going to fucking do it tomorrow tomorrow is not bad, I'm gonna be leaving it right now.

Speaker 3 16:32

My friend comments like I want you to come to to this place because it's gonna be my, my birthday, and this is also happening. I need you here. I'm buying you the ticket. I was like, straight up, I'm very broke, I don't have any money. So if you're buying me the ticket, just know you're also going to have to feed me and everything.

Speaker 3 16:49

I'm telling you in advance so that I don't become a problem while I'm there and she's like that's no problem, come, no problem, come in, come and I'm. I'm traveling for the first time with a one-way ticket. I never fly anywhere with a one-way ticket or without a plan, but I'm like you know what? I'm sitting in my house and shit is still not right, right.

Speaker 1 17:07

So so who knows?

Speaker 3 17:08

what's ahead of there. Who knows what I can get by going there and what do I have to lose?

Speaker 1 17:13

like you, know right, but that's. But that's you knowing your value, that's you knowing what you're worth and it's, and that's you being your true, authentic self. Those are the things that those three components right there knowing your value, knowing your worth and knowing your true, authentic self. That right there, paul, is why you're such an amazing energy and soul, because it's like you will always do like it's not like you're not just doing it. You know, you're actually, you're thinking about it, but you're also weighing the option on. What's most important to me now.

Speaker 1 17:41

You know it's like and that's that thing that I appreciate about you, because you take those chances and not many people do that but at the same time, you still come out like Paula, you know you still go home, you still figure it out, you know, because that stuff will always be there, you know figuring out, so he's going to be there. But just enjoy the moment when you can. You know, and that's something that is missing with a lot of people, and that's something that I'm actually learning now is just really enjoy the moment where you're at right now and everything else, everything else is always putting into place. You know, it's always the puzzle piece is always going to come into place. But it's like you know. But if you worry about the little things, you're not really enjoying life.

Speaker 3 18:14

So Not really. Whatever you believe in, whether it's God, whether it's higher spirit, higher, power, whatever you're not giving them the trust that they need.

Speaker 3 18:25

How are they supposed to help you If you're saying, yes, I really believe they got me, I trust that God got me, but I'm here worrying. God is also looking at. If you're going to worry, why should I help you? Continue worrying, since you want to worry so much, right. But to me about taking this opportunity was also like I'm constantly home, right, because I don't have a job. I'm building my business and I'm doing my podcast, but I do it from home.

Speaker 1 18:51

And you're doing a fantastic job, by the way, fantastic. Thank you so much.

Speaker 3 18:56

Thank you so much. I don't have anything that's holding me back, saying that you can't go on this trip because I don't have to work Everything I'm doing. I just need to make sure I have my laptop and my phone with me and I can work from anywhere. And also, sometimes I wouldn't have gone because I'm going and I'm going to be around two amazing women in my life right. I also met Sue Portface amazing women in my life right who I also met through Podfest, and I've been using our world accessibly and I've been getting little opportunities in where I'm going because for some reason, I've been connecting with people who are already in that area and they're like oh, you're coming, let's do this, let's collaborate on this, let's work on this.

Speaker 3 19:35

And the women I'm going to be with we are going to sit and I'm going to talk to them about what I'm dealing with and they're going to see how they can help me. They're going to direct me, give me ideas, see how they can, and maybe I might come back with a job, maybe I might come back with a financial plan, maybe I might come back. Compared to if I was sitting in here buying myself, that's right. You know the things where I'm constantly also depressing myself, because I look at myself and I'm like sometimes I feel like I'm not doing too much, because your job is you should be constantly doing something right, or maybe I'm not. And then I get to my head and I feel bad about myself and I feel bad about my life. I'll be around, yeah, and that's the thing.

Speaker 1 20:18

It's like you said you just said something. It's like you know, like I feel like I need to always be doing something, but it's like you're spinning your wheels and it's just like is that doing something? Just, are you working smart? Are you working hard? You know, it's like you got to work smart. You know and that's something that you said and, by the way, you said something a minute ago where I appreciate it's like learning how to communicate what you need in order to find opportunities that just come out of nowhere, and so you put yourself in positions to where you know, in social settings, wherever it may be.

Speaker 1 20:43

This is actually a podcast I'm actually doing.

Speaker 1 20:45

I actually wrote this on an email to someone that's going to be on a podcast, and these are some of the topics where I was just like you know, learning how to use your strengths in social settings, use your strengths to find your community.

Speaker 1 20:55

You know, and that's something that you do very, very well. You know, because the more, the more that you put yourself out there and your energy out there, the more that you're going to receive something back, because it's just like, it's just something that is. It's what we should all do, right, if you're going to sit at home or not, put yourself in any situation of, that could be somebody, like you said, sitting right next to you might be the answer right, or somebody right next next you might be the answer right. Or somebody in my next you might show you, give you something that you needed for you or vice versa, it doesn't really matter. But just putting yourself out there is just that's. That's taking a chance and that I love that all day long and I'm also going through knowing your value right because, I know what I, what value I have, I know what I bring to the table.

Navigating Job Loss and Dating Life

Speaker 3 21:34

So, um, sometimes you just need to push it on people for them to see it, to be able to move. And I tell people, like, if you're not speaking up, if I'm not telling people I'm jobless and I'm job hunting.

Speaker 3 21:46

No job is just going to fall on my lap you know, Some people are lucky like that, but I feel like everybody still has to speak like I'm looking for a certain opportunity or I'm looking to change into a different direction or anything. I sat with Chris and the boys on Friday night and I could have easily just talked about every other thing about and not tell them about me. But I straight up told them, like yo, I'm jobless, I'm looking for a job. And they asked me so what type of job are you looking? Where are you looking? I'm like I want to transition into the podcasting world. I want to learn more into the podcasting world. My background is in events. I will take an event job, but anything in podcasting, and I'm willing to learn from that bottom because I self-taught myself. So if I get paid in a world where I'm also learning to do the thing that I love, why in a world where I'm also learning to do the thing that I love.

Speaker 3 22:42

Why the fuck not? Right? Because I know most people are always scared of starting from the bottom because, oh, I used to be this in my profession. Okay, that was on a different life. This is a new world. It's a new world, there's a lot to learn and I'm willing to learn. And they're like okay, we'll see what we can do. We'll spread the word. But the what we can do we will spread the word, but the more you tell people and if they are around people and people are saying, oh my god, I'm looking for an intern or a training for this, so this, it will come to that. Oh shit, we remember paula is looking for a job. We know paula and she has so much value she can bring. You know, because you went and sold yourself and they help you. So I'm always gonna say yo, I'm broke and I'm jobless, but is that where I want to be? Fuck? No, I want a big ass life.

Speaker 3 23:25

I have big dreams and and sometimes I think we are shameful of being there because, of course, like, how are you 34? You're jobless, no savings. You know most of us are scared to talk because of those judgments, right, but but that's life. We, we had covid. We had covid in four years ago. We changed everybody's life. Everybody who had a safe thing kind of went through the same thing. People are still rebuilding what they've been losing in these last four years. So life is changing. Nobody is everybody's complaining about financially, about everything. Even the people who are used to look up to financially like, oh my god, they're rich, they got money that thing. Right now they're like yo, we, we, we legitimate, trying to to squeeze everything. You know so it's like shit happens. It does happen, but you know what you're doing, paula, which I appreciate is that you're doing something about it, you know. So it's like shit happens.

Speaker 1 24:18

It does happen, but you know what you're doing, paula. Which I appreciate is that you're doing something about it. You know that's like you're not sitting there feeling sorry for yourself. You're not. You're taking action. You know you're taking action. You're doing, you're doing the work. You're you're taking action.

Speaker 1 24:31

You're like you're you're doing stuff, like, for one, you want to do videos, and that's the thing, though, but that's thinking outside the box, though. You're thinking outside the box and you're in, even though, like you know, like you said, you didn't want to, because you're probably afraid of it, and that's something that people do. If you're, if we're fearful, we don't want to try anything new because you're too afraid to try something, you're taking the leaps of faith and you're doing it. So this is something that you're doing, and it's like just taking a deep breath, first and foremost. Just breathe, just fricking, jump off the cliff, you know, take that leap of faith and just do it.

Speaker 1 25:09

What's the worst that can happen? Right, yeah, you fail, but so what? I'd rather fail and try something and go. Well, at least I marked that one off the box and not do it at all. Like you know, I'm one of those people where I've never said like you know, I've never not done anything that I did not want to do, like everything that I've done in my life has been like I've done it because I've taken chances at it. So or at least it's on a piece of paper right now saying I'm going to do that.

Speaker 3 25:32

Even if you fail, because to me my head is like where do you already are without trying? Is you failing? You're failing on yourself, you're failing on your life because you don't think you can actually do it.

Speaker 1 25:44

But I don't think trying something and I'll backtrack. I don't really think trying something is failing. Actually, I just think it's not.

Speaker 3 25:50

It's actually learning something, because every failure is a lesson.

Speaker 3 25:55

You either learn that you really don't want to do that shit or how hard it is, or you learn different techniques of doing it, or you find, okay, listen, I actually wanted to do this, but because it failed, it assured me that I can actually switch it into this direction and that's why, when even in dating right, I remember I'm a sucker for love. I, I love love, and when I date, everybody's going to know. If there's a guy in my life who's making me happy, entire world will know, social media will know I'm the person who. I don't care If I want to show him out.

Speaker 1 26:27

I'm going to show him out, you'll shut up in the rooftops.

Speaker 3 26:31

He's like I'll shut up. Exactly these days I'm realizing there's being private without being. What's the word? Like not hiding, but you're private, Like there's such a way of showing. But back in the days, because I was always this loud kid, like my entire life, I always say everything, so people always used to tell me like you talk shit with Paula.

Speaker 1 26:52

Never said shit, what. I'm sorry. What was that?

Speaker 3 26:57

This is why they got me up at Podfest. They're like shut the fuck up for a few minutes.

Speaker 1 27:04

It's like let's see if we can catch her at her best. Silence, we got her.

Speaker 3 27:12

So when I used to date, do you remember back in the days where people would be like, oh, you shouldn't show who you're dating because you're gonna get an L, right, if it doesn't work out? Right, my mind, I'm like, if you're already thinking it when it doesn't work out, or if it doesn't work out, then why are you even in that relationship? Because to me, every relationship is not meant to be forever, depending on the time you are in. Like, yes, right now I'm kind of shopping for my forever because I feel like I'm in that space where I want my forever. But back in the time I wasn't dating for forever, I was just dating.

Speaker 3 27:46

You're like I'm looking for now, I want now you're in my life we're gonna have fun if it gets to the end line, that's fine, if it doesn't, that's fine. But to me it was like and? And even when we break out, I will constantly go out on my social media and be like okay, we're done with that relationship, it's over. And people are like don't you feel like all these l's you're getting? I'm like, but it's not an l.

Speaker 3 28:09

Every relationship has taught me what I want what I don't want how to better myself, what I am doing wrong in the relationship because it's not always about that person, even though I'm the one who always walks away. But I also learned that I wasn't also a good girlfriend as much as I thought I was.

Speaker 1 28:24

Right, right, it's something that I tell a lot of people, paula. You know, in this space where I say, look, I go, you have to go through your trials and errors in order to, like, know what you want and what you don't want. You know, and so it's like my job as a dating coach is to make, to tell people and to help people figure that out. You know, and especially when you feel like you've kind of been doing the same thing over and over again, where it's like God, it's like the same person I don't know why this happens it's like, look, you got to go through those experiences regardless, but at the same time, you know you really need to start thinking about what you truly want. And now I love the fact that you're looking for your forever now, because that's something that you've been through enough ups and downs with different relationships to go.

Speaker 1 29:03

Okay, this is exactly what I'm looking for, with a little bit, you know, because it's always going to ebb and flow and change, right, even though you might find your forever, that still takes a lot of work to keep it going, as we all know, but it's being able to just get in there and just allow yourself. Like you said don't worry about it. Like you said, whoever's going to a relationship think it's going to fail. First and foremost, it's already failed. You know what I mean it's like. Why are you even in this? And it's like you know it's like negative Nelly.

Speaker 3 29:32

It's like okay, I'm in this, but I don't know if it's going to last very long.

Speaker 1 29:36

It's like.

Speaker 3 29:37

Well, right now I'm in that place in my life where relationships do take a lot of work, and if I'm going to invest in one, I want it to be one where we are both investing for something greater than just right now. Right, but I've already had my right nows, I've enjoyed my right nows and I've been alone. I've been single since 2020. I've gone on dates. I have special friends.

Speaker 1 30:02

But to be in a relationship Wait, that's a Special friends. This is what I want to hear about. I like this kind of friends.

Speaker 3 30:08

You know you can't just park a car for a full year without turning it on and off every now and then to make sure it's working.

Speaker 1 30:16

You need a recharge. Every battery needs a recharge, paula, exactly no to make sure it's working.

Speaker 3 30:19

You need a recharge. Every battery needs a recharge. Paula, exactly, exactly. No cobwebs over here.

Speaker 1 30:24

Spring cleaning, girl, spring cleaning all day long.

Speaker 3 30:28

I'm a big fan of that Exactly, and I'm even very picky with my special friends. You have to also you know, you have to escape my mind. You have to get into my head in order to do all this. But in my head I'm like, okay, the people I've picked to be my special friends are people who are as much busy as me, so that's why we can't even have a relationship, why I can't even fall for them or anything Like.

Speaker 1 30:53

We can go three months without seeing and spoken like once or twice, but that's a mutual thing that you guys have set up though yeah, and that works because, for where I was, I was like I don't want a relationship and I know myself I get attached.

Speaker 3 31:10

So if I'm talking to you every day, even though I'm saying I don't want a relationship, I'm going to get attached to you. If I'm spending every weekend with you or anything, of course I'm going to get attached to you, right. So why put myself in there? But now, because I know I've done all this work and if I'm going to put the energy on somebody, I want it to be something greater than and funny enough. On Monday I was on a comedy call, right, because I'm taking a route into the comedy world, because I'm funny. I'm funny, all right.

Speaker 1 31:35

You are a shit funny girl. Let me tell her. You got me laughing all the time.

Speaker 3 31:40

And Kimmy was on the call, right, you know, kimmy.

Speaker 3 31:45

I love her. Oh, my God, I listen to my real life. Barbie dolls they're just Barbie dolls, but Barbie dolls with you know. They are Barbie dolls who are just Barbie dolls, and they're Barbie dolls with personality. They are Barbie dolls with you know. They are Barbie dolls who are just Barbie dolls and they're Barbie dolls with personality. They are Barbie dolls with personality and a hell of personality and amazing shit they do. So I love them. So Kimmy was talking about I'm a relationship dating college, but when people come to me, they want a man, but what they end up finding is they end up finding themselves. So I was like kimmy, I've already fucking found myself. I need you to find me a man like I'm finding myself.

Speaker 1 32:26

You're like let's just skip over that shit, let's just get right to the man. Just find me a man let's skip all the semantics I don't need any of that stuff. I already got that, you know. It's like you know. It's like you know when you go, they go. Do you want the full package or it's like no, I already have that part. Just give me the instant part.

Speaker 3 32:44

But that's the. Thing because I've done the work right. And even last year, when I was kind of going through the whole and you were dealing with stuff and we were having those conversations, we were also kind of inspiring each other and we kind of were going through kind of the same thing but also kind of different, and I was talking like you know, what?

Speaker 3 33:03

Because I have been dealing on and off with my ex who eventually I was like yo, he's not seeing my work because I keep taking his bullshit every time. How is he going to see my value? And I'm here saying that's my value and I talk, but he's looking like bitch. Please, you know, as soon as I call, you're going to answer.

Speaker 1 33:24

But see, Paula, but you're saying that right there and let's use that as something as well. So you saying that is why people need to kind of check in with themselves, you know, all the time. Because it's like, it's almost like saying, okay, like once again, like a spring clean, like checking yourself, let's clean this, let's clean this area up. How, where am I at right now? What's? Is everything in my life good right now? If it's not, let's reassess and figure why it's not good. You like in that situation with the guys, cause it does have relationships all the time it's like the other guy, you know, Mr, but it's like this thing where it's like, even though you're strong, you know yourself, but we all have little, you know, we have weaknesses, right?

Speaker 3 34:04

You know there's a weakness, that's free.

Speaker 1 34:06

So you got to like check that out and say how do I make that part, how do I make this weakness stronger, how do I make this better? And those are things on why we have to continuously check in we do.

Speaker 3 34:24

We do so I know I stand proudly on who I am like. Anybody can say is there somebody like Paula will tell you probably the fuck she is like? I have no problem with that. But we have a lot of people who and even this comes to some of my friends I see it right and I'm like, damn, if you could only see what I see like, what you're capable of like, who the fuck you are, and you that you know. So how does one get to stand proudly on who they are Like? How would you advise somebody in going through that?

Speaker 1 34:59

You just, once again, you just like and we all see people like that right? You see people and they say and you just want to help them. But you know that the best thing they can do is just help themselves. And I feel like a lot of people are afraid to really take a deep dive on what's really going on, because they're afraid that they're not good enough or they're afraid that you know they're going to be, they're going to have imposter syndrome or, and even though that they know this, underneath it's almost like there's this wall or this door with a lock. It's like I'm not going there, because if I go there and I figure out who I really am, then I'm not really going to like what I see. You know, but that's the stuff that people need to dig into Um. You know, there's this thing that I was actually telling Kimmy. Actually we were at um. We had drinks the other night actually.

Speaker 2 35:40

And.

Speaker 1 35:41

I telling her, I said, look I go, I have learned how to balance. So I have this side of me where, like, like my light side, this is my light side, right, the side that you always see. But there's also this dark side to me where it's like I always said that you know what man it's like.

Speaker 1 35:53

You know I can get whatever I want if I really really wanted to in life. But I always hold that at bay because I'm I was really scared of that side. It was like my it's like my narcissist ego kind of like, where it's like. You know, that's not the Chris I want to protect.

Speaker 3 36:06

I mean, can you blame yourself for having that side? And I believe we kind of talked a little bit about that when you came on my podcast, like a little bit.

Speaker 1 36:16

You know that right. So we've talked about that, so it's, but it's. But what I've done, paula, over the past like six months, is that I have learned. I've learned how to dig, uh, to dig deep and um and really take a look at that dark side and I said you know what this, that dark side's a part of me. I need to bring it out and learn how to balance it correctly without ever being afraid of it, of me becoming someone else. You know what I mean. So now I've told and it's funny, I was telling kids I go, I found the balance.

Speaker 1 36:48

Now, like my light side, who I've always been, who was afraid of the dark side and suppressing, is now let my dark side come up to help me to be that strong, confident individual that I always am. But now it's just got an extra bit of a behind it. You know what I mean and that that bit of a right there is the stuff that is actually going to push me ahead the rest of my life, because once again, it's like I I was, I was hiding it, I was pushing it down. I'm like, no, it's a part of who I am. Allow yourself to be that person, because you can still have control of what you want. You don't have to be very humble all the time, just be who you are, and that's something that I've actually allowed. I've let the, I've let the fucking tiger out of the cage. You know that tiger's a strong fucking motherfucker. You, you know it's like that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 37:24

I love it and it's funny because I tell people, if you need to be, if you have a cocky side and a confident side, sometimes you better let them shine. You can't always be humble, because some people take that humble and it's like, oh, they're always just humble. No, I'm cocky, I'm fucking cocky, I got this shit.

Speaker 3 37:46

And as just some. But no, I'm cocky, I'm fucking coffee, I got this shit and, as you said, um, which is something, true you can't keep pushing that person down because it's not gonna go away, but it's just gonna haunt you, just like our feelings. That's why we talk about either journalism if you don't want to talk to a therapist, or talk to your friend or tell the people who those feelings are meant to be then journalism, because once you let them out, you feel like a weight is lifted. But if you keep pushing them down, that's why one day you just blow the fuck up and you're like I don't know why I blow it up?

Speaker 3 38:11

well, because you're pushing all these damn feelings right and then you just come or you end up breaking down in a bank or something and next thing you know you're just falling down and crying and crying and you can't stop because you are not allowing those tears to cry, like, if you want to cry, baby cry, it's okay to cry. It's actually healthy to cry, you know. So I love that you decided to to let that person shine, because it is part of you.

Dating Transparency and Hiking Avoidance

Speaker 1 38:37

Just have to find balance and discipline on how to, when you allow them to to shine and when you allow them to just chill right, and and then that's going back to what you asked on how you know how to let people know, how to value all that stuff. It's like you know you've got to really allow yourself to feel and accept who you are and once you do that, you can make the decisions on how you want to. You know, pivot, balance it whatever you need to do, because you just can't allow, you can't keep suppressing certain things. Like you said, you know you have to really figure out look, I know this is who I am. You know, like I like.

Speaker 1 39:14

That's why I said if I ever had a, a dating app, right, I would call it the honest out and the reason why people, what is that? And I go. So, first of all, you know you each person'd have to be, you'd have to put out a video because they see who you really look like, they see who you really are and basically, like, let's say, and I always just say, I'm like you know what? I'm just a guy who just wants, who just likes playing video games and just likes watching Netflix. I hate going out and I just want to find someone like that and right, and there's probably a girl going. Yeah, you know, I like staying at home watching movies and I don't like going out very much.

Speaker 2 39:41

Oh my God, this is the perfect guy for me, right.

Speaker 1 39:43

So it's the honest act, because you're really being honest about what you're wanting instead of just putting all this BS down on what people might think you might want from them. You know. So it's like, yeah, I mountain climb, you know I hike and it all shit. And all of a sudden you're like, like you know, you it in your bio, I don't know, I just figured it'd give me more hits. It's like, so now you're already lying to yourself. So the honest out would just be this thing of just people completely being honest about what they really want. You know it's, and that's the easiest thing to do so is that a teaser?

Speaker 3 40:17

that you're gonna end up doing this down and stuff, because we, we need them. And I like the video element because you can tell the body language, even if somebody is trying to lie or something you can sense the body language. You're like, the way you're talking and the way the body's going is giving me Nana vibe.

Speaker 1 40:34

Yeah, and you can see like and that's true, though, you can read their body language and their vibe and, quite frankly, you're getting the real person on the video. I mean, I'm sure you can maybe touch up a video a little bit, but you're not going to be able to really touch it up with the mannerisms and things like that. So I always feel like there should be a dating app to where it's like you know, you have a 30 second. When you're swiping right, you see 30 seconds of every person like that you're looking for versus a photo, and go from there.

Speaker 3 40:58

I like that. It's funny. You wrote that about hiking and stuff. I don't know if you quite know this. I hate hiking too and I tell people like all my activities. I just write a lot of activities but not to hiking. And I'm a black girl and I've been hearing about going on hiking. Or people go on dates on hiking and people don't come. Even a dog was killed on hiking. I'm like you can't even take your dog to hiking on a date because there's some monsters who kill the dog. No hiking for me, baby.

Speaker 1 41:32

No, you're not taking me hiking. I mean it's like. I mean I'm on the tennis court, I do about 10 to 15 miles a day on my Fitbit. It's like and I'll lose you, so that's out Done.

Speaker 3 41:44

Right, and here's the thing. So when you mentioned that right on this Love is Blind this new season, I haven't watched the last three episodes but I saw a clip where this guy was really mad at the guy because he went out for one hour Like they were hanging out together and he even asked that my boy's at this place, you wanna come. She said no, he went, he stayed for like 30 minutes and came back because you know that direction of going and coming back and he spent 30 minutes and came back. So he was out for one hour. Okay, and this guy made a whole fuss. You remember, in the podium we're talking, you say you don't like going out, you don't go out. I'm like I mean just because somebody doesn't like going out doesn't mean they can't go out for one hour right, exactly right.

Speaker 3 42:30

It's crazy okay, you're giving me crazy advice, because if a guy can't even go out to have a beer for 30 minutes with his voice and you were invited. Mind you, you were invited and you declined, so it's not like I was doing anything fishy or whatever. I was like, okay, we need.

Speaker 1 42:49

She's got her own issues.

Speaker 3 42:51

I'm like when somebody says they don't like going out or they don't go out, it's meaning like every night, every weekend, like they can go out once a week, and for an hour too, but like going out to me. I'm thinking like you want to be cladding every night until the morning, or every other day being out until the morning. That's what, going out, but come on for an hour.

Speaker 1 43:12

Yeah, right, yeah, that person's got issues already. She's already got issues, so you know that that's already. That's already going to bust.

Speaker 3 43:20

There were so many red flags with this and again I haven't watched because this season was really like trash, trash and I like trash TV. But it was like to the point where like, okay, this is just annoying Because the social media is always going to tell you what happened, you know?

Speaker 1 43:36

Right right.

Speaker 3 43:38

And I found that literally before the wedding, he didn't even take her to the house. I was like I just see so many red flags in this, I don't think we can go. She was very insecure and that's why it's so important for us to really work on ourselves before you get into this relationship, because, however much you find and that's why I took some time out because I really wanted to work on myself and dig deep down, which is something people don't want to do Because you learn shit about- yourself, you're not going to like and you have to fix it and you have to unlearn the shit you actually know.

Speaker 3 44:11

But I was like okay, I know myself also that I didn't want this relationship, like I wasn't going into this relationship with anything, but I know there's some relationships where I really want to saw myself yeah, you know, I could see that us together to that and they didn't work. So I can't always blame, blame the guys. I had to sit down and be like what am I also doing? What is wrong?

Speaker 2 44:36

you're being accountable yeah, you know, and.

Speaker 3 44:40

I digged in and then I realized, okay, you, even though at that time I thought that was. But there were also these things which I knew we couldn't even have gotten as far as I thought in my head we would, and all that stuff. And it became to a place where even the insecurities that I had which were very few, because I'm the least insecure person, but we all have some insecurities- Of course, and sometimes certain things get triggered that and you're all like whoa, I feel a little insecure right about now.

Speaker 3 45:09

I get that, oh yeah, so I walked into them where I ended up being this very confident in my skin, in my insecurities, in what I want, in what I know I bring and what I'm looking for. And that's where this is. Even when I go on a date and I already see, I'm like, yeah, I don't think man you can be, so I don't want to waste so. Even sometimes we're talking on the dating app, right, and I just see certain things and they'll be like so you want to meet up Friday night for this? I'm like I don't want to waste your time or mine because I already see, like what you're talking yeah already doesn't serve me, so why waste my time to get dressed up to come?

Speaker 3 45:49

but if I feel like there's a friendship for some beach because I'm also looking for, like you know, connections and stuff I'll be honest, I'll be like I don't see us, whatever. But I would love to meet you if you want to, just, you know, see if we can connect on on different, on other level, and that's it. But because I did the work and I realized what I can offer and what can be offered for me and what my insecurity and that's the thing, though, but, like you just said, this is something I tell a lot of my dating clients.

Speaker 1 46:14

It's like look, I go, you're. When you're out on a date, I go. You know, so many times people are focused on wow, I hope, I hope he likes me, I hope she likes me. It's like no, how about taking a seat back and going? What do you? What can you offer me? You know like what? Here I am, this is what, this is who I am. Let's see how he or she performs, and we're going to see if they're worthy for me, not the opposite, you know, because that's the first part. That means you love yourself enough to sit there and go. I want to. You know I'm not putting on a show and a show and pony dance for this person, you know which, which is also fine, you know. I mean, it's like it's because it is a give and take. You know you have to go both ways, but at the same time, most times, you really need to take a step back and see is this person who I really? Is this person really someone I want to be with?

Speaker 3 46:57

So true. And if you're not happy with yourself, no guy or woman, no, whatever, is gonna make you happy. So I also had to learn, because I used to be that girl who jumped from relationship to relationship. Even my friends these days are shocked that yo, you've been single for 40 years. Yo, you're the single one. Like no, my. Even my friend was the most single one. He's, she's single, she's moved in with a guy, they are pregnant and she's like I can't believe you're still single. I'm like I really wanted to take the time to just learn to be by myself, learn to make myself happy, like if I am happy in my own space by myself, then you as a guy, you really need to be extraordinary to come into my space, because I'm not. I'm not sticking for you to bring happiness to me. I already have that.

Speaker 3 47:47

I'm speaking for you to add to my happiness and add on to my peace, but not anything less.

Speaker 1 47:53

Be an addition, right, be an addition to your life, compliment your life, you know, like, be able to come into I and that's something that's another term I use Like I always tell people look, I go. Someone's life is already in motion, right, your job is just to compliment their lifestyles and hopefully you enter. Trying through that, through that relationship, is what what we're doing, right, but each, every person's life is already doing this. It's already emotion. So our job is to find someone who compliments the other person, not some person just to shut us down, you know. Or or the other person to kind of take over and, like you know, like, like, create chaos in their life. It's like find someone that you're compatible with, that you know will take the journey with you beyond the same path, and someone who's in your corner that wants you to win just as much as you want them to win.

Speaker 3 48:36

That's so important and I just say the reason why I'm also now like ready to just find my person, cause I'm tired of being independent. You're all independent women out there who still stick to being independent, but I want to be taken care of like I can take care of myself.

Speaker 3 48:54

I've already shown myself that I can take care of myself, but I need to be loved on and be taken care of, and there's something about doing something with your partner. Right, when you have a problem, you have your partner to talk with it. You're not having to say my man got this. Hey boo, I need to talk to my man.

Speaker 1 49:11

I love that, love that. Well, write it out, paula. Write it out. Write out what you want from your next partner, and then let it manifest it, like you said you're really going to just.

Speaker 3 49:22

I'm putting it also on you and Kimmy. You, you're really gonna just I'm putting it also on you and kimmy like y'all gonna do your job.

Speaker 1 49:28

We'll take that challenge, double team up and take that challenge for you. So you know, miss, miss, charisma, coaching and the dating intelligence, we'll, we'll take it between both of you.

Speaker 3 49:38

You know me enough and you know who would be right for me, enough you can. You can do the best thing for me and everything yeah totally and just deliver.

Speaker 3 49:47

And I say I'm willing to move to any state. It's a plus if they're in Nashville. I don't know about LA. I don't know if I can be an LA girl, but you know, anything is possible. But depending on how our pockets together are going to be, I can easily be an LA girl Because LA girls be making on our, our pockets together gonna be. I can easily be an la girl because, you know, I feel like that's the, the making. You feel so broke as fuck like I'm already broke, but they make me feel double broke what just happened here.

Speaker 1 50:14

You know it's, it's, yeah, la is a, that's a think of its own man every time I see, I see your posts, your events and stuff.

Speaker 3 50:21

I'm like being a man in l in LA must be tough because there are so many beautiful fucking and I don't care if they've had their jobs done or whatever. I'm a pastor. If you have the money and you want to do it for yourself, fix whatever fucking you want. Don't do it for a man, Don't do it for anybody. If you're doing it for yourself, by all means do it. I tell my people as soon as I have a child and I have the money. I'm lifting my boobs because wearing bras sucks and I just like my nipples popping out. Let them free. Who needs bras? If you have the money and you want to do the job, do it. Fuck what everybody's saying. But LA has beautiful people, even the men. Sometimes I am constant because I watch you and I see how you're always around beautiful women. I'm like if I was chris's girlfriend or wife. I I would like I don't know man, I don't know it's.

Speaker 1 51:15

It's tough to be in that area I get that a lot from a lot of people trust me, they're like and because you're charismatic right you're like.

Speaker 3 51:29

You're like a people's people, and people just radiate to you, especially women. They just radiate to you like. I met chris at port first when he was surrounded with women and I became one of the women who also got who surrounded him and never left him.

Speaker 3 51:41

So that tells you something like he just radiates women around him. So imagine I'm just like your person is a trooper, like kudos, and she's hot herself. And that's what I'm saying Sometimes. This has nothing to do about being insecure, it's just that my man is really around so many fucking beautiful women.

Speaker 1 52:08

Well, yeah, I love that. I'm not going to lie, I love it. So you know, that's just my personal.

Speaker 3 52:13

I mean, and you want to talk about this before we end, because you are a former runway model.

Speaker 1 52:19

Oh, my God.

Navigating Life's Transitions and Growth

Speaker 3 52:21

You are around that and you were the meat for most of people. I'm sorry, objectify men on the runway. I'm not looking at the clothes, especially when the clothes come open. I'm not even looking at what the fuck you're wearing or who the designer is. I'm looking at the surface. You're a good model, so how was it for you being um, being in the runway model and then ending up into a relationship coach and a tennis pro in the mix of it? How was that journey for you?

Speaker 1 52:57

it, just it, just all like. I felt like it was just uh, you know, it just all started. Just it's. It's. It's the best way to sound like it, the best way to say that it's like it's just all a part of the complete pack to who I am. You know it's it's. It's the best way to sound like it, the best way to say that it's like it's just all a part of the complete package of who I am. You know it's like I. Once again, it's like I. I appreciate all the stuff I've done in my past. You know I've done a lot of things and I and I I'm very grateful for all the opportunities. But, like you said, it's like you know you got relationship coaching. It's like I love helping people. You know I like, I like, I like helping, but I also like wearing the clothes and I like being. I like being front and center. You know like I always like being front and center. I mean that's the Leo right, that's the Leo and you can help it.

Speaker 1 53:40

So, but at the same time, it's like I really do love people and I love helping people and and that's why I'm in this space and so, and it's like when I see something that has to be fixed, in a weird way, you know, it's like I want to be able to help in the process.

Speaker 1 53:54

I want to be able to give them my knowledge and to help, hopefully, have them go off and to share it and to grow and to live happily, whatever they're doing as well, I always tell people I go. You know, it's like you never, I never want to say what. If in my life, you know, I want to make sure like, well, I've done that, I'm doing this now and just moving forward, but what? And it's like you know, and I, and I think I'm finally settling into what I really, really love to do, and that's the relationship space, helping people and just helping people get better at dating or helping people in the relationships, whatever it may be. You know, like I said, the runway modeling, that was great, it was fun, and you know, obviously you know you miss that part of your life all the time, but this is why I still have, you know, like I said my fun times. It's like cause the people that I hang around, things like that, you know, but once again it's just, it's growth, everything's about growing.

Speaker 3 54:47

I love that. How do you say you don't ever want to be like? What if I? I my? My mantra is fuck regrets, because i'ma do it. And they're not gonna regret shit, because at the end of the day I might say like yo, that was wild, we did that, but fucking, we fucking did that right exactly, yeah um, as a tennis, as a tennis pro like you, you're already like in a coaching world, right, because you're so getting into relationship coaching kind of kind of feels like the same thing, but do people always, uh, feel a little kind of like how is this a formal runway model?

Speaker 3 55:15

because runway models are known to be, you know, um let me use a classy word but, um, dogs, dogs, men, you know like. So imagine a person who you're like, he looks like a. You know he's a model, he's a fuckboy and shit, but then, oh, you're a model and a relationship card, yeah right.

Speaker 1 55:35

Who's that? Dallas? How's that working out, right? Yeah Well, the good news is, paula, I get to help a lot of women find their space. That's the main thing. I get to share the secrets of how, not the signs you look for when guys are doing something shitty and wrong. That's the beauty of it all. So you know, I've had both sides of it, so it's like I know the error of my ways, but I also know, like, how to move forward and where I'm at with my life right now, and that's something I can share with a lot of people can share with a lot of people, so it's life experiences.

Speaker 3 56:08

I would hire you because I'm like he's being a fuck boy, he knows fuck boys, he can detect fuck boys he can detect bullshit, so why? Wouldn't, I have such a coach to get me there I like how you label me, paula. I love you too well, I love you so much and we're coming to end. Thank you so much for hanging out with me.

Speaker 2 56:25

You're welcome, just talking about knowing your worth.

Speaker 3 56:28

Please let the people know where they can connect with you, where they can find your podcast, if you have any incredible shift that's coming up that you want to support, and leave an advice for those people who are having a hard time knowing their value and adding tax to that, because, don't forget, add taxed that value of yours, baby.

Speaker 1 56:48

All right, guys, you know, like she has it down here, you can find me at Fetchport on my social media and like and go to www. Just go to dating hyphen intelligencecom dating hyphen intelligencecom. You can find me. And, if you want, just give me 15 minutes of your time on, just kind of like, make an appointment for 15 minutes and just let me know what you need some help with and we can talk about it. If you think I'm a fit for you, great. If not, then you know I'll give you the best advice I can and hopefully you'll figure it out. But I am here to, like I said, just to help you, and you'd be surprised. All I need is 15 minutes. I's what I do.

Speaker 3 57:25

Thanks.

Speaker 1 57:25

Paula, I love you honey.

Speaker 3 57:28

I love you too. Wait you forgot to leave a piece of advice for the folks out there.

Speaker 1 57:34

Piece of advice, just like first and foremost, don't settle, that's the best thing I can say. Never settle for anyone. You know, I'd rather you remember you come first. If you don't feel like you come first and you're settling, then what are you really doing, right? You're just living someone else's life and you're just. You're just living through, vicariously, through something else. You're never going to be happy. So, in order, in order to be happy, just don't settle and be who you are. Live by your true, authentic self and chris is what as well.

Speaker 3 58:03

Don't forget to check in with yourself. It's really important. Thank you all for hanging out with us on Shit Happens. Until next time on Shit Happens, which is tomorrow at 11am Bye.

Speaker 2 58:15

Bye, Shit Happens. Thank you for tuning in to Shit Happens, an integral segment of the innovative platform Talk Shit with Pete. If you enjoyed today's episode, make sure to hit subscribe and leave a review. You can find Shit Happens on YouTube at Talk Shit with Pete. If this served, share with friends or family who can relate. Remember we all face challenges, but it's how we push past them that defines us. So until next time, keep pushing forward and remember shit may happen, but so does growth, and you got this.