EP186: WGTDG Issue #6 - A team struggling with addressing conflict

David talks about our 6th issue in the What Great Teams Do Great issue series - how to help a team that is struggling to address conflict

Transcript

This is part of our what great teams do, great issues series. I'm David Wheatley, and all of these issues use our what great teams do. Great model, which is available at humanity.com or in the book of the same name from all good bookshops. Each issue is presented with suggested actions to get you on the path to Team greatness. In this issue, the team hates conflict. Members want to get along, yet there's an undercurrent of tension that is unresolved. Some people avoid certain individuals on the team rather than deal with issues. Others employ a passive, aggressive approach. You ever have a team like this? You ever been part of a team like this? So with the challenge with conflict is that the number of people who are conflict avoidant, my way of putting it is that nobody's actually conflict avoidant. They're all conflict delayant, because avoiding conflict just delays the inevitable confrontation and makes it worse. Accepting this reality means that the best time to address any issue is now, or as soon as it's reasonably possible. The commitment to address any significant issue within 24 hours, if possible, should be part of a teams charter at the time of their setup, if you're following the what great teams do great model. If it's not, then the time to review and realign the setup is now, and to include something along those lines in your setup. This idea of a 24 hour rule has two elements to it. One of them is, sometimes we need 24 hours just to calm down and cool off, get our heads into the right place and make sure our emotions are in check, but then we should be driving to a point where we're dealing with issues within 24 hours, because it's never going to be easier than now, and we deal with issues in a caring, honest and direct way, where teams fear conflict as a whole. Then I encourage people to use the what great teams do, great model, and look at the red path and Green Path behaviors. This provides language and a framework for people to address issues without the fear of it getting too personal. You establish those red path and Green Path behaviors, which, if you go to humanity.com and you look at the tools section, you'll see what those look like, then that establishes a norm for the organization, for the team, as to what the expectations are. Now, the other aspect of this is that if somebody fears the conflict and they start to broach that, want to have a green path conversation, then the challenge is for everybody to be open and willing and be there and present for that conversation, to adopt the Green Path, to listen, to understand, because that makes it easier for others to address conflict. And so it's a two way street. Again, we have to be willing to bring it up, and we also have to be willing to be challenged on it and listen well and drive a forward focused solution in order to overcome that conflict. Now we've worked with a lot of teams, and it's this is one of the most common ones, that somebody on the team has conflict that is not being addressed, and every time, it's just festering there and getting worse. So if you've got that, then I encourage you to look at what great teams do. Great look at the red path and Green Path behaviors at humanity.com. Under the Tools section, and you'll start to see some practical ways of addressing that conflict and taking care of it. If you're the person who fears the conflict, then encourage you to go to the same places. Have a look at that and remember that you're not conflict avoidant, you're just conflict delayant, and it's never going to be better than today to fix it.