Meeting your Edge: Expanding your bubble safely

From psychedelic experiences to increasing your prices, how do you expand in a way that feels safe for your nervous system?

We often want the quick fix, we want problems to be solved quickly and we want that miracle pill. 

People want to jump into the deep end without really understanding the preparatory and integrative work that is needed to truly benefit from such an experience.

And similarly, in our personal and professional lives, we need to allow ourselves the space to expand gradually. It's about building that foundation step by step, and honoring the process of growth. When we force ourselves to leap too far, too quickly, it often leads to overwhelm and burnout, which is counterproductive to our goals.

So, whether it's pricing our services, taking on new clients, or even expanding our personal boundaries, it's important to respect where we are in our journey. Take those incremental steps, and trust that with each step, our capacity to handle more will naturally increase.

Meeting your edge is so personal and unique. It's about understanding your own limits and then gently pushing them, not leaping into something that feels completely out of reach. By doing this, we honour our own pace and create sustainable growth that aligns with our true selves.

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Intro music by Tyler Dixon from @tones.on.toast - tonesontoast.com

Transcript

Stacey: 0:05

We want to be in this infinite game. We want to be in the infinite game of continually improving, moving the needle and getting 1% better every day

Ané: 0:16

where are you putting in energy in places that's not really a return of investment and is it kind of contracting you instead of. Expanding you.

Stacey: 0:47

Welcome everyone to another episode of trusting the universe and share. Thank you so much for being here. I'm here with the Ane. Of course.

Ané: 0:54

Hello

Stacey: 0:54

My beautiful guest and friend, and, you know, I hope you enjoy just hanging out with us. Cause I feel like that's part of what I love. It's like, you're just hanging out with your best friends, kind of, you know, your online besties and you're just chatting with us and you're probably doing chores. You know, probably like walking around the house. I'm doing a laundry or whatever, and we way he had hanging out with you today. So. Yes.

Ané: 1:18

I love it.

Stacey: 1:19

And so today we want to talk about meeting your edge. And expanding yourself and expanding your bubble. And we also want to talk a little bit about scarcity and how scarcity can affect us and how it can manifest.

Ané: 1:36

Yes, I like this. I like the topic. We're also a little bit, we're meeting an edge today because we're both super, super tired. We're feeling a bit lethargic. We woke up both very inspired and like action driven. And then as we're starting this, we were like, Oh my gosh, we're so tired, but this is meeting an age. And I think there's a bit of a, a I dunno, not facade, but there's definitely like a, this. Energy around meeting the edge online and it can't doesn't have to be this huge thing where it's like meeting the edge of a hundred million dollars a hundred thousand dollars a month or whatever it can literally be like right now I'm very exhausted or I'm feeling a bit tired but I'm meeting the edge to still show up and still do the thing because I know it needs to be done and that's that's where we're at.

Stacey: 2:23

Yeah, and everybody's edge is going to be different too. So it's like your bubble where you expand. And whatever you can hold within that bubble of your own, it's going to be so different to somebody else's completely different. So wherever you exist within that space where wherever your edges. And then you're going to know where that is. Because somebody might say to you, you know, Come and do the same common. Jump off this bridge with me. You know, the like could be just like metaphorically. It could be starting a new job. It could be. You know, moving house, it could be. A number of things, it could be pushing out a new product and those different levels for you are going to be related to your past experience of what your nervous system feels like accustomed to. So it could be something that. You know, if you have sent an email. Once a week subscribers, you can do that every week. That's going to feel very comfortable for you, but if it's your first time ever sending an email. To subscribers. Definitely going to be, you know, meeting your edge. You're going to be. Ah, you want to be stepping up and you're going to be expanding that bubble out. And whatever's going to be inside. That bubble is going to. Two, you're going to be able to hold more and more and more as this bubble expands.

Ané: 3:44

Yes, I love that. And I think you're so right. It's so unique, our edge to everyone and you got to be very discerned about who you kind of share that edge with as well, I find, because sometimes people may like wanna also not project, and I'm sure they're coming from a really good place, but they want to be like, oh, but like me. Right. Like the thing, the whole newsletter thing, right? It's like, okay, I'm going to try and send like two a week, or I'm going to try and promote this or offer this. And some people just, they give you that unsolicited advice and you're like,

Stacey: 4:16

Yeah. Not really.

Ané: 4:18

the, like, this is already an edge for me. It may not be an edge for you, but it is for me. And so like having people on your side where they're like, Yeah. I see you, you know, You got this and, you know, let us know how you go like, you know, the process of that, I think is a really important discernment to make as well when you get to your edge. Cause I, I don't know about you, but I've definitely been a lot more in a reflective mode. I mean, it's now Mercury retrograde, so I'm not surprised. And the things that we do now, day to day in our business, literally. I would have felt so overwhelmed three, four, five years ago. Like, I would have been like, how did I do all this? And at the same time, I also desired that. You know, like you look at people that are like doing so much and they're moving the needle forward and you're just like, wow, you do so much, you must be exhausted. But that's just because our bubble was so small then and it grew every year a little bit, a little bit. And you don't realize it until like three, four, Years in that you're like, Oh, gosh, I'm in the things and it feels amazing. And it doesn't mean it doesn't get easier. It does get easier, but then you meet another edge and it gets more expansive. But Yeah. I think it's really important to see where you're at your journey and then decipher, okay, what is it that's going to help? Build that bubble up a little bit.

Stacey: 5:39

I have an example of something that I saw yesterday. I was going through my files and I was sending a client, any invoice, and I found a really old one. I'm years ago. And I looked at all the deliverables and the amount, and it was like a thousand dollars or something and everything that I did. And I just had a heart attack because I've thought. No way, did I do all of that for that much money? There is no way. And for me, maybe at the time, that felt like me. Meeting an edge. I felt like I was expanding, but. Now, when I look back on it. That would be very easy for me to send for, you know, Way, way, way. Less amount of deliverables. So. But I never would have gotten here if I hadn't have had. Gotten bare then. And it slowly, you know, eventually kept expanding what I was able to feel I could charge for, because the money is a very common one in this, in this scenario of like a menial edge of. How can I feel okay with jotting while people, you know, will say to me self, like, they feel like they're gonna form it. They feel like they feel sick. They feel very uncomfortable when they're going to send an invoice to somebody and send a package to someone for say five grand and whatever. And they go, oh, I really don't feel comfortable. You know, Or if I give them a new name for their course, and the new name is different to the one that they've had and they feel, Ooh, this is like, They have to sit on it sometimes for a week before they're climatized to the new name. And they go, okay. I feel I'm feeling okay. Confident enough to call it this now because it feels so much bigger and more. Expanded and they, yeah, it takes, it takes a while sometimes to take re climatize to that new level.

Ané: 7:23

Yes. totally. And I like the money piece that you brought up because I think like that is one of many ways to expand and build your muscle and your, you know, your bubble in order to like, be like, okay, I'm going to charge this. And I like that you also mentioned about like, you know, when you send your invoice in back in the And back then it's like you kind of needed to Do a lot of things because that's how you build your skillset and your expertise. And then you get very confident in the way that you work and then you can like add that plus tax, you know, and it's just like this beautiful evolution, but I think people don't understand that it does take a lot of bandwidth to get to that stage. And so you may not seem like on paper, you're doing much, but the, the. Project in itself gets done so much quicker and effectively because of, you know, your skill set and expertise. And I literally just had an IG live just like earlier today about it. And we were talking about like the educational piece That's missing in this. And I think we need to be more Like aware of how much service providers do provide so much, like, and it may not look like it on paper, but on the energetic level, on like the scalability level, like there's so much that, you know, you get return of investment and we just don't notice that people don't see that

Stacey: 8:46

Yeah. And. They are not going to know how much you charge for things only, you know, what type of bandwidth skill level. And your specific expertise is going to go into the, what you're charging. So we're going in yet until a little bit of. Going into a little bit of money mindset slash pricing things here. But I think that, I think it's, yeah, I think it's, it's probably the first thing that people will go to about okay. Trying to expand yourself and your offerings. Money's always the thing that keeps people stuck. Cause they get all or no. I don't feel confident. Charging more. So what I do with my clients is I'll push them a little bit to charge a little bit more, and then they get comfortable. Say, say for example, I have a client, you know, she was charging a thousand dollars for her course. Then I would push her a little bit. We'd go to 1200. And I push her a little bit. I think we're now at like 1800 and she's like, okay, I'm uncomfortable with this now. So we just kept increasing it. We increased it a little bit and then she'd get comfortable with it. She would do a launch do around. Okay. Uncomfortable. Get to the, okay. Let's increase it a little bit. I start to get better feedback. They start to feel more comfortable. So that's, that's this expansion that we're talking about with this bubble, we go a little bit bigger, a little bit bigger. A little bit bigger and then we start to get comfortable with it. And. This part that you're talking about too about bandwidth is so, so been on my mind lately. Because we started under charged for it. We just think, man, you know, I can just do it. I can do it, but you only have so many hours of bandwidth or it's not even hours. It's not even time. It's it's energy. That you have in the day to give to a certain project, you know, and I have to hold all these little pieces of things in my brain all the time of, okay, I have to do this task, this task, this task, this task. And I cannot do any more than that. And so that is what people paying for too. They're paying for like the space inside of your brain that you hold for them.

Ané: 10:46

Mm hmm. Yes, absolutely. And look, this, this expanding a bubble and, you know, increasing your price, like this can be used in many, many areas in life. It really doesn't have to just be your invoicing, you know, it can also be for employees. Like when was the last time you asked for a pay rise? It's not. Has there been conversations about pay rises? Because I think that's a huge one too, especially with like the economy that we live in now, like it's, it's got to be something that's, you know, consistent every six to 12 months, I'm assuming. And you know, other parts as well, like where are you putting in energy in places that's not really a return of investment and is it kind of contracting you instead of expanding you. And that's also one that I've also been sitting with. Like, what are the things that I'm doing? That's not actually energetically expanding my voice, my being my services. And so that's like a, again, that discernment piece we have to be very careful with. And I'm talking about like people that you may hang out with that you thought you still need to hang out with, but they're not. Not good for your expansion or, you know, maybe there's habits that you do that's not good for your expansion. Yeah. so many things, but I think that's a really good way of actually reflecting on it is like if you can't think of things that's going to meet that edge. Like reverse engineer it then, what, what's the things that's contracting you and then start from there and then you can kind of, yeah, play around with the, the opposite of that.

Stacey: 12:18

Yeah, because there's either contraction or expansion. Exactly. So you're either going to feel contracted by something or expanded by something. And ultimately we want the expansion, cause expansion feels light. It feels. Airy. It feels growth. It feels like. We are growing in contraction to me. It feels like the opposite to all those things. It feels like making myself smaller. It feels like making myself less seen. It feels like. I'm not doing the things that I really find joy in. It feels like I'm not allowing myself and not giving myself permission to do those things. So that's what contraction looks like for me in that sense of. I'm going to go within myself and hold myself and hold myself down from the things that I really truly desire. Or maybe you don't even feel like, you know what you're desiring right now. It's like, Do I even know what I desire because it's been so blocked and you haven't even allowed any of that expansion. That you haven't even allowed yourself the thought? No, no, no. I can't even imagine that because. It's not realistic. It's not within my capabilities. I bet I better not even think about it at all.

Ané: 13:25

Mm. Yes. That's, that's the thing. Like, you've got to have, you've got to have those conversations with yourself about what fears are coming up and the story behind it because that's what's keeping you in that contracting state. You know, and you know, even with the expanded thing, like there's so many times where we say the affirmations because someone it worked for someone or you do the EFT tapping and you say exactly those words because it works for them, but that's what works for them. You've got to find what is meeting that edge and, you know, voice that and use that to fuel you in order to expand, because that's when your body's like, Oh, I'm being spoken to in the way that it's like speaking like the same language. It's essentially that, right? You can't really say the exact informations and it's not, your body's not resonating with that. And I remember this actually once to come back with the, you know, money thing. A business mentor once said like, If you could feel money as an energy, as an entity right now, what is the amount and how far away is it? And it's such a good visualization. I love, as we've spoken on here before, we, I love visualization. So that was one way for me to kind of connect with money even more and be like, what is my charging of it? Because I can say in tap, I want a million dollars, or X amount a month, but it doesn't resonate. If I can't even visualize 500, that's arm's length from me. How am I going to be able to want to manifest magically like the 10k? No, that's not going to work. So that was one way for me to work on the edge, visualize it and then work on my bubble and then expand it and kind of give it some like breathing space, you know, and that's how I was able to, Yeah. nurture that.

Stacey: 15:12

It's exactly right, because you can't sit here and say, okay, I'm earning, you know,$500 for this particular project or this thing or whatever. And then just say, you know, be, be affirming to yourself. Like, you know, I could own a million dollars. I could own a million dollars. You're your body. Isn't going to feel like that's real. It's not going to be able to say, yeah, I could do it. It's not going to believe you, even if you're a family over and over, it's not going to say. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense to me. Cause it's not gonna make any sense. So it's better for you to. Keep expanding it go. The next level go from 500 to a thousand. And then stack it. Thousand to 2002 to four. Four to eight. Then your body feels like, oh, I can stack this. You know, I can stack the money that I'm in ink. I can double it. And then you can double it. It's much easier for the body to understand that than it is to just jump all the way outside of the bubble to the million dollars. And I think that that is where we, we kind of, yeah, we're sort of. Tricky. We're trying to trick ourselves into believing it, but we don't really believe it like deep down, you know, we can't, we're trying to, we're kind of lying to ourselves and we're like, yeah, yeah, I could do it. But. You know, There's another little voice inside of us. It's like, nah, I don't believe that.

Ané: 16:28

Mm. Totally. And that's why I like, that's why I've always like, I like EFT tapping and things like that, because like, you actually affirm first all of the fears, like, this is how I'm feeling right now. This is shit. You're affirming all of the like, negative self talk first. And then you say, you know, you love yourself. Unconditionally, and then you move on from that and I love that process rather than like this toxic positivity that you're trying to break your mind to believe like that's not gonna go very deep. So Yeah. and again, this goes with anything as well, like even the clients, you know, maybe. three was your max and it was like that was the capacity and now it's years in and you're like okay i can do five i can do six and you work your way up but you can't do a course and think okay i'm gonna assign i'm gonna have a wait list now i'm gonna sign 10 clients like it's just that your your body's gonna reject that expansion so Yeah. it's really about the stepping stones on getting to that that stage

Stacey: 17:30

I think this is also why psychedelics really mess people up sometimes because what's happening is they're getting like the spiritual dump all in one go and it's like, boom. And none that I can be integrated. From a lot of people in one go. And they, they go way outside of that expansion bubble. And it's not safe. It's like, oh my God. And it can create, you know, these kind of existential crises and people and types of things where, you know, they haven't had a proper person, like guiding them through the experience they haven't You know, had their own spiritual practice in meditation and sitting in silence. And yeah, so sometimes people jump in because they want to have this like quick fix. So they want this, this quick, you know, all these downloads, but I think the law of energy doesn't work that way. I don't think that we can ever get this really quick fix. And I think the Western world is very much. In that mode of selling that to us. So all of the media that we consume. Promises us see things and we don't get them. Any other way? Like why, why have I not gotten what they've promised me?

Ané: 18:39

I love that you just started talking about psychedelics. Like, okay, we're going there, but it's so true though. Again, this plays in any, any topic really, but it's so true. And I couldn't agree more. And I think you're right. You can't, you got to be in the vessel of receiving first, foremost, before you're like, Yeah. do this. And that's, that's, you're right, it's, it's that Western world of quick fix, take this pill, do this, do that, and you'll be fine, or, and that's just such a bad understanding, because as we know, our ancestors lived in devotion, lived in mastery, and we've missed that so much, we've just become so complacent in that, and it's just so It's so such a disservice to us and to, you know, do the psychedelics, do the things, I mean, well, you know, whatever, but you gotta also practice in that beforehand, which is through meditation, through, you know, whatever your modality is in order to really get that download. And I think that's, It's funny. because people, a lot of people do like, Microdosing and stuff. And I guess that's a great way of starting small. But again, I think people think, oh, I'm going to microdose for a month and then I'm going to be this whole new person. It's like, no, I don't, maybe, maybe to some, I mean, I don't know the stats, but I a little bit more than that. You know, it's going to take a little bit more than that to get to that place. But yeah,

Stacey: 20:06

I could not stress that more. What you're talking about, the mastery. Having the value of mastery and your life is going to serve you so much more than thinking. Yeah, I could just, you know, I could just skip the process. You're kind of skipped. You're trying to jump up three steps. And you've got to take the one in front of you because you can't get to the one at the top without taking all the smaller ones. And I think sometimes we are trying to do that. We're trying to, you know, jump over and I'm not, I have nothing against psychedelics whatsoever. I really don't. But I think sometimes people go in and they they're trying to reorganize their brains. You know, too quickly, they can integrate it and it's not safe for their nervous system to do those types of things in. And they can have mental breakdowns and things like that. So, That's just like a kind of extreme example of what happens when you don't. Expand. In, in a way that you feel. Like is your edge and you, you jump out right outside of it. So it's not safe to do that sometimes. We want to be in this infinite game. We want to be in the infinite game of continually improving, moving the needle and getting better 1% better every day. And I was watching this, the blue zones documentary, all of the centenarians that lived to over a hundred. And they were talking about, what do they focus on? And they were saying they don't have a word for retirement, so they don't work to a certain point. And then just, okay, now what. There's no word for it. All of everything in life is integrated within what they do every day. So I feel like that kind of philosophy of this incremental improvement. This stepping up the ladder step-by-step and this. Continuous expansion. Is if we can. Embody that as. Our main, one of our main values. I think that's going to be very serving for us because we're not going to feel like we are very disappointed when we try to do the 10 K to 10 day challenge. And then we fail miserably because we did not get there. And we don't know why, because they promised it to us and we go. Oh, why didn't I get 10, 10 K in 10 days. They said I would, but I didn't. And so if we shift our value set a little bit and we go, well, actually I really value this infinite. Improvement. And that is where I value. So as long as you're doing that every day, you can feel confident in yourself to say, No, no I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

Ané: 22:43

Yeah. I love that and it's such a good way of kind of ending this episode of like, I think it's okay to be on the journey, enjoy the journey and know that like, there is no quick fix with it. Your expansion and the edge that you wanna meet, and you're gonna meet this similar edge every single time. And that's growth Like, that's the evolution. And Yeah. I, I just think that, Yeah. the, it's that devotion piece and that mastery that is the beauty of living in this elu evolutional state. You know what I mean? So couldn't agree more and. Yeah. let us, let us know how you guys are dealing with it and what's, you know, what's the edge that you're missing? Let us know how you guys are meeting your edge and we'd love to know more. And yeah, definitely leave a review with us as well. We'd love to know if if there's anyone you'd like on the potty

Stacey: 23:38

yeah. thank you so much for listening. And just a little thought on the end of this is, you know, it doesn't always look sexy, but you're doing it. You're doing the thing. You're improving yourself every day. And even if. An outsider. Can't see it. You're the one. Who knows. Yes, I am moving the needle. I am continuously improving. And you can be proud of yourself for doing that. So. Yeah.

Ané: 24:01

beautifully said.

Stacey: 24:02

Yeah. So thank you for listening. Please send us an email. If you would like to get in contact with us. It's hello@trustingtheuniverseandshit.com. And please, leave us a review on apple podcasts. We would love to hear from me. If you have anything you want to DMS, you can DM us on Instagram. Our links are in the show notes.

Ané: 24:24

Amazing. See you guys next time. Bye.