90 second emotions

It takes 90 seconds to process any emotion. Here is the link to the article. Listen to the episode to find out how you can you this information to your advantage. 

According to Harvard brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, ninety seconds is all it takes to identify an emotion and allow it to dissipate while you simply notice it. When you’re stressed, pausing ninety seconds and labeling what you’re feeling (eg., I’m getting angry), tamps down activity in the amygdala. 

Transcript

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Hey guys, welcome to my podcast. Natalia Schneimler here and I help boy moms have a better relationship with their boys and themselves. And I do this by teaching them how to manage their mind so that when anything comes up in life, they know exactly how to handle it. Hey guys, how's it going? I am bouncing and we're moved to a new house in the same city because we're having some work done on our house. And I am learning how to take care of my boys in the new house here where there's no blackout blinds and we live up north here so it stays bright here up until 10 p.m. and I still have little kids so it was really interesting last night trying to put little kids to bed when it was still bright out. Of course it didn't work so everyone went to bed later so we're all kind of grumpy today. So that's what's new in my life. So today I am really inspired to tell you about this 90 second emotions and how it is going to be helpful to you. So I love, love, love this concept because it will make your life a lot easier to move through hard emotions and it will also help you eliminate fights because if you know that all you have to do is feel an emotion and the 90 second part comes in where everything There's been a study done. So I'm jumping right in. There was a study done actually by a Harvard scientist. This is a legitimately proven thing. And I'm going to include a link to it in my show notes so that you guys can all look it up if you're interested in finding more. But they proved that it only takes about 90 seconds for your body to process any motion in In your body, the emotion results as a chemical process. So you have some chemicals released in your body when you're feeling an emotion, and it only takes about 90 seconds for you to feel it and process it. So I think it is wonderful, wonderful news because we no longer have to be dreading feeling terrible for a long time if we know how to do this. Okay? So the way that I approach it is that if we know that any emotion lasts 90 seconds, if it's processed, then all we have to do is learn to process these emotions in 90 seconds. And then they're going to be gone. We don't have to sit around and be sad or be whatever, upset for a long time. And we don't have to react to our anger if we don't want to. So, right? Isn't that great? Just knowing this? So the way I actually thought of talking to you about this is because I was talking to a friend and he was saying, oh, it's just so weird. I was feeling anxious and I've noticed my anxiety and all of a sudden it was gone. And he says, I don't know what happened, how it was gone. It never happened before, but all of a sudden it's gone and it's not there anymore. And so, of course, then I connected the two dots and I told him this is probably what happened. You actually processed your emotion out of your system and it just dissipated. It disappeared. And that's exactly what happened because usually when we have anxiety and we're not fully allowing it or processing it, then we're blocking it. We're resisting it. We're not paying attention to it. We're distracting ourselves. So what happens, we don't actually process it all the way through. So it actually lingers. It lingers in our chemistry. It lingers in our body. And so we keep feeling it being persistent there, right? And also we judge it. When we resist it or we distract ourselves, we're judging that emotion and that judgment makes us feel bad right away. So we prolong it. So in order for us to process the 90 second feeling, we need to not judge it as something bad. We have to look at it as simply a chemical reaction in our body that happens for around 90 seconds. And if we allow it to be there, then it will disappear. So I love this because it's so exciting because I know there's an end in sight. And in fact, I encourage you to look at the emotions as waves so the way i see it is that the there is a wave of emotion when it starts to build right if you look at it like a graph uh it starts slow low and then it keeps getting higher and higher and higher and as you keep allowing your feeling to increase if you as you as if you allow your anxiety to increase on purpose and you while you watch it it will keep increasing Until it reaches its peak, which is usually when we feel like we can't handle it that well, usually when we feel like we're overwhelmed by whatever emotion, then it reaches its peak. And if we just stay with it, then it's all downhill from there. That means the emotion will dissipate. It will disappear. It will lessen in intensity and then it will be gone forever. completely. I've experienced it many, many times in different, many forms. And I know I can tell you that if you keep practicing it, it will definitely get better. You'll get better doing it. You'll get better at naming your emotions, which is a really great tool. They mentioned this in this article that actually naming an emotion helps you process it. Right? Right? So naming it is a great step in allowing that emotion and letting it process and letting all the chemicals in your body spread around your body. naming it. And when you name it, what naturally happens is you pay attention to it, is you allow it, you don't judge it, and you are more of a neutral observer than a judgmental one. So I love it. And so that's what I told my friend. I said, this is what happened. I've read a study, the 92nd They last usually only 90 seconds if you actually process them correctly. So that's probably what happened, which is such amazing news because you can recreate it. You can use it as a tool. And sometimes when I am hit by sadness or disappointment or any negative emotion, really, all I know is all I have to do is just sit there and feel it for a very short period of time. And sometimes... I do that and it comes back again, but all I have to do is just do it again. So it only will be maybe a couple of maybe two, three different times of 90 seconds, right? So that's totally doable, right? So I want to encourage you to really try doing this yourself. Try naming the feeling and you don't even, you just have to know, okay, this is what I'm feeling and This is anger. You don't have to make it mean anything about yourself. You're not angry. It's just a feeling of anger that you're feeling. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling anger. And you can just watch it and call it anger and watch it in your body, how it feels, how you want to take it out of your body and let it process. So I... I wanted to share this with you so that you can take better care of your emotional self when things come up. I cannot tell you the amount of times that I have to do this in a day. Every day, at least once or maybe a couple times, I have to be a little kid and cry about something, whine about something to myself and process it out. Because either the morning was stressful or I'm stressed out about moving to this house and or I'm stressed out about leaving my house or I am overwhelmed by how am I going to manage feeding kids in this new place. Whatever it is, it usually is something super insignificant that my brain, my adult brain says this is insignificant. But my emotional self says, no, this is pretty sad or overwhelming or too much or disappointing, right? So those are two different selves. So this is, I think that as a grown up, that is emotional intelligence that we can practice of taking care of our kind of childhood emotions or immature emotions or... Emotions that don't make sense or don't belong in a grown-up world, that we can't necessarily show them to everyone, but we are responsible for showing it to ourselves so that we can then comfort ourselves, take care of ourselves, process the emotions, move on, not act on the anger. Basically, take basic emotional hygiene of ourselves, right? without taking it out on others. And that's how it's going to impact your relationships in such an amazing way because not only will you be able to take care of yourself when you do this, when you let yourself process your emotion, then it's going to be so easy for you to let others process their emotions because you will know what's going on. You won't take it personally when someone else is upset. You will simply recognize, oh, they're going through this really A strong emotion right now. Your kids, let me help them. Let me hold space for them and help them go through it. Little kids, middle kids, grown-up kids. It will be so much easier for you to help support them go through that. And you can even explain that to the kids, right? What's happening if time is appropriate. So it will be just such an amazing way for you to take care of yourself and your kids. All right, guys. I love you all so much. I'll talk to you soon. And oh, of course, you can find me on my website, www.coachingnatalia.com. Go to sign up for a free mini session. Sign up for coaching. Take a look at your thoughts. That's how you will find all the little ones that are bugging you. And then... And once you see them, then it becomes so much easier for you to change your feeling. So if you're still stuck in some sort of feeling, if you're still struggling, that's what we have to do. We have to approach and find out what's in your head. And that's where coaching comes in. All these concepts and my examples are great. They sometimes do the trick and they completely change your life. But if you are stuck, you can take it to the next level and take a look inside your head. And I can help you do that with coaching. And then you will find a specific key to your head, to your life, to figure it out with my help. Okay, guys? Sign up. I'll talk to you soon. Love you. Bye.