Ever found yourself in a high-stakes game of tug-of-war with life's challenges, wondering if there's ever a truce in sight? We've all been there, especially as single moms grappling with the delicate balance of raising children, managing personal turmoil, and everything in between. In our latest heart-to-heart, we peel back the layers of what it means to navigate the emotional battlefield of single motherhood, and the transformative power of surrendering to her savior. We share candid stories, like the unforgettable standoff between a steadfast single mom and her defiant teen, illustrating the profound impact of choosing battles wisely and the strength found in 'letting Jesus win.'
Our conversation isn't just about recounting the struggles; it's about recounting the truth we find in the words in John 16:33 and Exodus 14:14. Join me as we explore the depths of what it means to relinquish control, embrace faith, and discover a peace that resonates that surpasses all understanding.
Ever found yourself in a high-stakes game of tug-of-war with life's challenges, wondering if there's ever a truce in sight? We've all been there, especially as single moms grappling with the delicate balance of raising children, managing personal turmoil, and everything in between. In our latest heart-to-heart, we peel back the layers of what it means to navigate the emotional battlefield of single motherhood, and the transformative power of surrendering to her savior. We share candid stories, like the unforgettable standoff between a steadfast single mom and her defiant teen, illustrating the profound impact of choosing battles wisely and the strength found in 'letting Jesus win.'
Our conversation isn't just about recounting the struggles; it's about recounting the truth we find in the words in John 16:33 and Exodus 14:14. Join me as we explore the depths of what it means to relinquish control, embrace faith, and discover a peace that resonates that surpasses all understanding.
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
Speaker 1:
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is share your hopes and I am happy you are here today. Remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you.
Speaker 2:
In this world. You will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome this world. John 1633. Now said differently you will have some trouble, but Jesus has won the fight. Listen, christian or not, no one is without trouble in this troubled world. Not one, no pastor, ambassador, actor or attorney, billionaire, ballplayer, doctor or even saint. It is simply not possible to live without trouble in a world that is divided, desperate, distraught and divorced itself from its creator. It's true love. It's righteous relationship and, listen, if that relationship went left, it is no wonder our relationships do too, whether it's friends, family, employers, exes or even people we don't know.
Speaker 2:
We are at war, on the daily War, with one another, everything that is good and even ourselves. For me, I like to compare it to an endless tug of war match, where my mind, my heart and, yes, even my soul, is continually pulled in one direction, yanked back in the other direction, under constant pressure and time under tension. And just when I think I found peace, whether with myself or another person, it happens An argument, a provoking thought, whether in my mind or from the mouth of another, challenging me to fight and to go to battle to the bitter end, never letting another get one up on me. You may even find yourself there now. Is it with your kids, your teen, the other co-parent, extended family or even extenuating circumstances? Do you want to go to war or do you want to let Jesus win? Welcome to another episode of it's a Single Mom Thing Now.
Speaker 2:
I remember the first time I heard this expression I'm going to let Jesus win. I about peed my pants. It was spoken in the heat of a battle between a saucy single mother and her troubled teenager. At the time, the two were dead set on their ideals and it certainly was not an ideal situation. Both were right in their own mind and both had their minds made up never to surrender to the other side. Neither was going to budge or be the bigger person. Hoo, child, listen. From where I stood, I was sure someone was going down and I needed to have 911 on the speed dial. It was the greatest tug of war match I had ever seen, as both were under time, under tension, until Mom dropped the rope, exclaiming I'm gonna let Jesus win.
Speaker 2:
What, the, what, the, and like that, she just walked away, went to her quiet place and just prayed. Yes, girl, just prayed. How on this side of heaven did that happen? I don't know about you, but I have this button. It's not very big, it's not on my sleeve and it's not easy to find, nor readily pushed. But listen, when it is poked or pushed there is no turning back and you better be ready to go toe-to-toe with me or you better run. I may be five foot two, but I am six foot one, full of attitude if you step to me or someone I care about. Listen.
Speaker 2:
I got picked on when I was younger. Whether it's for my size or the size of my ideas, I was constantly being challenged, so I learned how to fight back. Now, truth be told, because of the amount of fire and fury I had and the damage I knew I could invoke on a person, I usually stormed off, which wasn't any better as I then went to war with myself, as I internalized the whole experience, never dealing directly with a situation. So when I saw this event go down, I knew I just had a follow-up with a sister. A Couple days went by after the dust had settled and the two of them came to a settlement on their situation.
Speaker 2:
Did I ask my friend who won? She said girl, what on earth are you talking about? I said the argument you had the other day with your son who won. She paused before she replied, as if she were at peace or had made peace. I wasn't sure, but I knew I had to find out. She said oh, I know what you're talking about, jesus. What, what do you mean, jesus? I said come on, did you call his dad to come get him? Oh, I know you. You grounded him from football. Oh, oh, no, no, no, I know you beat him or you took his phone away. Come on, what did you really do? She came back at me. I did nothing, I promise you, but Jesus did everything. Who you fighting?
Speaker 2:
The other day I ran into someone I cared about dearly, but someone I had to put distance in between us, as the more time I spent with this person, the more of my time was being taken. Now, this is a podcast for another time called yoke, which we will get to in time. But as it relates to this podcast, as we were not yoked in beliefs, Oftentimes we would have disagreements as we didn't see the world the same, which created a lot of trouble for us. Again, we know the Bible has something to say about that. However, the point I'm making is when this special someone came up to me and challenged me in conversation, to the point of roping in my son. Did I find mama bear wanted to come out and let's just say Mala man? Now your girl, oddly enough, in her morning quiet time, just had this quote unquote Feeling I was going to cross paths with this special someone in that day, and armored up before I went to the gym. So when I didn't react the way he thought I would, what did he do? He walked away. I finished my workout and then I left.
Speaker 2:
As soon as I got in my car, turned on my engine, did the wheels start spinning? And, oh, did they. The tug of war match began and it sounded like this Now, girl, why didn't you let him have it? I mean, he came after your boy. Ugh, he makes me so mad. Do I text him and turn his conversation back on him? He's one to talk. I know I will drive back to the gym and I will wait by his truck. Tug Pull, hold, hold, really tight. Tug, tug Pull. Nope, I'm going to let Jesus win.
Speaker 2:
I opened my hands, let go of my firm grip on the rope and walked away from that thought, taking captive the next thought in my mind Exodus 1414. The Lord will fight for you. You need only be silent. That, my single peeps, was the advice given to me from another saucy single mom who shared that war strategy with me every time the child support check didn't come and when her son's father never came to pick him up. Funny, it's the same strategy I shared with my single mom friend in her crisis. I called in my phone a friend card after the gym and she remind me of this war time strategy that I once shared with her. Who are you fighting? Do you even know who your opponent really is? You may be quick to reply it's the other co-parent, the judge presiding over my case, it's the DCF, the reunification counselor, the guardian ad litem, or even the other family.
Speaker 2:
For me, I thought it was this special someone until I let Jesus win. In that moment, when I dropped the rope, so to speak, did I finally realize how my solo sister could say with such ease, with such peace I did nothing, but Jesus did everything. As I sat this morning drinking out of my favorite coffee mug that affectionately says Jesus in coffee, did my maker reveal the battle, the war, that I found myself in. He showed me that my beef wasn't really with this special someone. It wasn't over the words he said, it wasn't over my son and it wasn't even about me. In fact, it had nothing even to do with that special someone either. That special someone was the quote unquote tool, so to speak, pun intended to try to provoke me to go to war with this person who doesn't know truly my special someone, jesus.
Speaker 2:
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over the present darkness, aka troubled world, against the spiritual forces of the evil in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6-12. Now think about it. If I unleash some holy hold up on this guy, do you think he was going to want to step towards truth? How would I ever be the contrast, the light in the darkness in this troubled world For him, if I did like others and possibly others have done to him? This is the person y'all listen. I have been praying for this person for the last three years to be freed from the hurt that has held him back from reunifying with his heavenly father.
Speaker 2:
Now onto you. Who is your special someone that just lights you up like a Christmas tree, and I don't mean in a good way either. That person that just keeps you up at night, keeps your fist and your teeth clenched, keeps you just paying that attorney because you know you're going to win right, that person or situation that you either take a stand or simply cannot stand the sight of them. Do you see them? Are you fired up right now, that rope pulling in both directions at the same time? The battle, listen y'all, the battle is not with them. I'm going to say that again. The battle is not with them. Win the war, win the battle, but you don't know what they've done to me, sherry. I don't. You don't know what they've done to my kids.
Speaker 1:
I sure don't.
Speaker 2:
We may have to live in my car because I don't have child support. Yes, I hear you, and I'm truly, truly sorry that that is your experience right now. Are you ready to drop the rope? Listen, when I was, on time, the knot with my son's father. We went back and forth for two years. Both sides were not budging, and the other side was waiting for me to run out of money or credit on my credit card, in this case, to pay my attorney, so that they would win the war their way.
Speaker 2:
And what did I get out of that battle? I got $14,000 in debt on my credit card bill that I couldn't pay. I got an ulcer and a colonoscopy. Oh, that was fun. I was filled with nothing but hate and I delayed the healing because I kept dealing, wanting to win a war with a person who wasn't my real opponent. I kept an ongoing battle going that the enemy wanted me to fight that ultimately, would destroy not only my son's father, our son, my health and the relatives on both sides who were caught in the middle of this battle too.
Speaker 2:
Now, this bears saying again, for we don't wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, and we said that was this troubled world against listen the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. If we are fighting against each other, then we are not fighting the good fight that has been put before us. Thank God, if you are a Christian, you know we won the war. But if we keep fighting a battle that is not ours and keep fighting against each other because we want to win, then we are missing the whole point. Even bigger the implication if you are so focused on the other person, then, a you are not focused on Jesus and what he has for you in this challenging moment to learn. B you forfeit your authority given to you and C you forget all about the one who has his finger in your Kool-Aid. So you continually lose your Kool. Not today, satan. That is what you need to say. We have won the war and we are going to win this battle.
Speaker 2:
Listen, as long as you keep paying attention to what he is stirring up in your Kool-Aid, you are losing the battle, maybe with your kids, your teenager, maybe your health. Who knows what all that distraction is really attracting into your life? And do you think that is what Jesus wants for your life. Listen, if my saucy, solo, single mom friend never decided to let Jesus win, who would have won her son's heart? Who or what would he turn to if his mother didn't let go of the rope turning it over to Jesus when she went to war, in her war room, in prayer? When she did that, the stronghold that was over her and her son in the heavenly places, the grip of it, was broken. Now some of you, you just need to let go. And now it's not going to be easy and it's gonna feel unnatural. And, yes, there are some awful things that may have been done to you, done to your family, happening to you. Right now. The battle is the Lord's. You only need to be silent. You simply need to let Jesus win.
Speaker 2:
Are you a single mom doing this all alone? You need to find your peeps. You need to find your community at it's a Single Mom Things, support Group and Class. Now here's a secret. I met those saucy moms that I talked about earlier at Shepherd's Village, getting connected, building community centered on Christ. You too can find your community, your village's support, in this single season. Sign up for our next class on Tuesday, february 27th at shepherdsvillagecom. Forward slash classes as we discuss 12 relationship red flags, have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you.
Speaker 1:
Thanks for listening to. It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom. Back slash prayer. For more information and resources, check out our show notes.
