Single Mom Success Stories: April McKnight's Journey of Resilience and Community Support

Success is possible in your single season! Success, much like raising your kids, requires your presence and you to show up on your behalf.  Success is doing something different to get a different result. Success is intentional and looks different for every single situation.  Success leaves clues and you can find them from those who have gone before you.

"To know the road ahead, you have to ask those coming back." - Chinese Proverb

In this series, you will find exactly that. Hear from some super successful single moms who didn't let the "single thing" stop them.

Tune in for a series loaded with encouragement, guidance, and the transformative power of faith and community.

So, what happens when life throws a curveball and your perfectly planned marriage ends unexpectedly? Join us in this epic episode where we feature the remarkable story of April McKnight, the executive director of Shepherd's Village Ministries. April faced the sudden breakdown of her 11-year marriage but chose to stay strong for her children, navigating rough waters with resilience and determination. Listen as she shares her transformative journey through single motherhood, filled with insights, hardships, and the undeniable power of community support.

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INFORMATION & INSPIRATION: Shepherds Village University

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is Sheri, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. Hi there, my single peeps, and welcome to another episode of it's a Single Mom Thing. So I just want you to know, before we get started, that I am super pumped about you and you taking time to invest in your fulfilling future and I hope that you, prior to this episode, have listened to the last series we just finished on single mom life hacks and that you are starting to rewrite maybe an outdated belief that success in your single season is impossible. As you know it is that success in your single season is impossible, as you know it is, but it does require a little extra work on your part in setting you up for success. So, to do a little play on words, like I like to do in setting you up for success, today is episode one in our new series called Single Mom Success Stories that I teased in last week's episode. Now, if you remember, I told you that in this new series that I have invited a few of my solo mama friends who absolutely crushed it in their single season while enduring the crushing of the season. So, knowing that, I want you to go into this series remembering something I mentioned last week and that's the Chinese proverb to know the road ahead, you have to ask those coming back. And that is what this series is all about and you are about to hear.

Speaker 1: 1:32

So, as promised, here is my first interview with my first guest of the season. I have one of my. I'm very excited to introduce you today. Who's actually? She's? Wow, she's been many things. She's got several titles One. She's um, wow, she's been many things.

Speaker 1: 1:46

She's got several titles, um. One she's my best friend. Uh, she was also my neighbor when I lived at shepherd's village, um, as we were both single moms, and she was a co-worker of mine, um, at a place at indian rocks baptist church when we worked there, and now she also has another role and that is as my boss. But what I want to share with you is she's also her title is she is the executive director of Shepherd's Village Ministries and I just wanted to have her here, invite her here.

Speaker 1: 2:20

Her story is compelling and you know, I believe, with every believe, every person has a story to share, and definitely single moms. We definitely have stories to share and, as we discussed last week with that Chinese proverb, if you want to know the road ahead, look to those who are coming back. And that really applies here. We're just maybe one chapter, two chapters ahead of you in your own story, but we do have some things that you can learn as you listen from, to apply to your own story or maybe see some things that you can do differently. So, without further ado, I want to welcome April McKnight.

Speaker 2: 2:59

Oh, thank you, Sherry. I'm so glad to be here today and just excited to talk with you today. This is exciting, exactly.

Speaker 1: 3:09

Usually she's everyone at work. Usually she's staring at the back of my head as we're working.

Speaker 1: 3:13

So actually we're sitting face to face today. I know I hope you just kick back, enjoy, get a cup of coffee. This is going to be fun. Usually when we have these kind of conversations, we always find something funny to say there will be some probably some tough conversations today, because this is really going to be a tough story to share, as there's just. I know in your journey that there has been. Life hasn't always been so good. But, yeah, get to the great and where you are now. You know, I think you can probably relate that you have to go through some things to to get to the great and where you are now. You know, I think, uh, you can probably relate that you have to go through some things to to get where you're going.

Speaker 2: 3:48

You do, you do. And I mean, I think, if we all look back and we, you know, wanted to look at our life and go, yeah, no, I'll pick these things to go through, to get to this point, we would have picked the things we had to go through. And, um, I think that, yeah, being a single mom was not something I saw on my list of things to do. Um, it wasn't something I thought was going to happen in my life. And you know, my first marriage was 11 years, three kids.

Speaker 2: 4:20

In my own philosophy, it was like you made it to year 10, like you were golden. You know, in my own philosophy, it was like you made it to year 10, like you were golden. You know, and that might sound silly to a bunch of people, but having grown up in a single parent home or having had a single mom, um, story, that was always my goal was to get to year 10. And when I got to year 10, I thought, okay, I've, I've reached success, okay, and then, so what happened? Well, I mean, it clearly wasn't success. We made it to year 11 and and really, we'd had some rocky years there. You know, there was some years that just, you know, as I like to say, having worked through my stuff, that sin was winning in my husband's life and so it kind of took over and so, um, it wasn't, it wasn't allowing us to continue the marriage. You know, I wanted different things, I wanted to go to counseling and do other things and he, just he couldn't see that and so we decided to separate um and ultimately divorce.

Speaker 2: 5:18

Um, I chose to stay here, where we lived in the area, so that my kids could still see him. I had a good job and you know all the benefits and things, so it made sense to stay here, even though I had family. I could, you know, see, if I wanted. So yeah, so I mean, we, we divorced and, um, it was a tough road, um, but it was kind of at this place where I was like, okay, lord, if it's just me and you and these kids, then that's it, like I'll take that.

Speaker 2: 5:48

And it was hard. It was hard. I, you know, I didn't make good choices. Really. I thought I was making a good choice by ending that marriage, but it led to other bad choices. But it led to other bad choices. Um, you know, I, I blamed him for the choices he was making in our marriage and not wanting to work through some of those things, and so ultimately I I justified, you know, seeking relationships, and so I jumped into another relationship right away after being divorced. It was not a healthy relationship, which then quickly turned into a marriage that was not good and and ultimately ending that marriage after just a few short years, which is what led me to Shepherd's Village in that time, because at that point now I didn't have a place to live and I was willing to live in the car with my kids.

Speaker 1: 6:44

Now, I didn't have a place to live and I was willing to live in the car with my kids. Wow, wow, yeah, so okay, let's talk about that more. Something I do know about you and your story is that you never wanted to share it. So if you wouldn't, mind you know?

Speaker 1: 6:59

tell me, let's pick up there, because after the second marriage you said you came to Shepherd's Village. Yes, talk to me more about how you got here. What is Shepherd's Village? I mean, some of us, some of the guests, may not even know what that is Sure, so let's not assume, but pick up the story from there.

Speaker 2: 7:15

Yeah. So you know, I actually had been attending a Bible study at Indian Rocks and I remember talking to a woman who always kept saying hi to me, and so for like four, six straight weeks she would ask how I was doing and I would lie. I would be like, oh, I'm fine, I'm great. You know how many of us have done that Right? And finally, I was getting ready to go to this Bible study and I was like, if this woman asked me how I'm doing, I'm really going to tell her this time.

Speaker 2: 7:42

And she asked how I was doing and I said not good, like, my marriage is falling apart, I'm in a really bad place and I don't have any place to go. And she said, well, have you heard of shepherd's village? And I said no, I hadn't at the time. And so she gave me the contact information. I remember calling shepherd's village and Phyllis, our founder, picked up, picked up the phone and she said you know, I'm so sorry we don't have any openings, but I want you to go to this class, read this book and talk to this counselor. And I was at such a desperate place in my life that I was like, ok, I can do those three things. And you know, sherry, you and I always, often talk about that, like when we're talking to single moms, about giving them something to do, right, because sometimes they just need someone to tell them what the next step is, because they can't see it.

Speaker 1: 8:33

So I did those three things.

Speaker 2: 8:35

And in that process, you know, a couple months go by and I did end up having a place to stay with a family member for a few months and came to Shepard's Village and it was going to be a big deal because the unit that the kids and I were going to get into was the first one that was completely remodeled. It was a big organization that was taking care of it. And so Shepard's Village said, okay, like the newspaper's coming and the TV papers, you know the TV reporters are coming.

Speaker 2: 9:05

And I was like oh gosh no, like I just don't want anybody to know. You know, I was working in the school system here. I was actively involved in in a church and I was like I just don't want people to know what I'm, what I'm going through. And so I literally prayed and said, lord, please don't let anybody show up to this reveal, like I don't want them to show up, I just don't want to have to share this. And so some things happened and Bay News 9s didn't show up and Tampa Bay Times, you know, got crossed and so there was like a local little paper that was here and a couple of people from the church showed up and I was like thank you, lord you heard my prayer and, uh, but little did.

Speaker 2: 9:45

I know he had something bigger. And yes, yes, and um, so, as the girls and I see our apartment and this foundation that was here revealing it, um, his PR person saying, hey, listen, like we, we love your story. We would love if you would just tell your story in two weeks at One Bucks Place. Who was this Shelton Quarles Foundation? Is he the football player? Yeah, former Buccaneers player. Okay, and I was like you've got to be kidding me. You now want me to go over to the Buccaneers Stadium for a private dinner and share my story with people. I just was like, but, for whatever reason, I just felt like, okay, god had answered my first prayer. I believed that he would just lead me through this and so I said, sure, yeah, I'll do that. Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 1: 10:38

All right. So what does that look like?

Speaker 2: 10:40

Well, I mean, it really wasn't too bad. The girls and I went to this dinner and I think I shared for like five minutes. But what it did in that process is it really gave me some freedom in what I was feeling. It allowed me to realize that I didn't have to stay stuck. But it also helped me realize that God had brought me here to Shepherd's Village for a reason and a purpose. I didn't know that whole purpose at that time, but I was willing to see what he was going to do with it, and so that was like the first step in going okay, what is this true healing going to look like in the rest of my life? How am I going to use this story of being a single mom Like, what is God going to do with it?

Speaker 1: 11:25

Um, and just be open to that, and who I mean and who would ever think that like being? A single mom like that's a story and like that's a story that you love for you.

Speaker 2: 11:29

I heard, you.

Speaker 1: 11:29

You didn't want to share. You actually were quite comfortable in keeping that under wraps.

Speaker 2: 11:33

Yeah, and I mean, the reason I didn't want to share was because I felt like a failure. You know, here I am calling myself a Christian and involved in a local church and I'm walking through a second divorce and I just felt so unusable at that moment and like how could God take two failed marriages, two divorces, and use that for anything good? And so, yeah, I mean, I'd really written down in my journal and paper like that was the part of my story I was just not going to share with people and, interestingly enough, it's the biggest part of my story that I share now. Isn't that interesting? Yeah, I mean.

Speaker 2: 12:09

And really it came from because, as I lived at Shepherd's Village, there was a group of us that you know, we'd get together, we'd get up, we'd walk the bridge, we'd, you know, hang out, and as new moms were coming in, I would, you know, say, oh, how are you? You know, and as new moms were coming in, I would say, oh, how are you? How long were you married? And quietly, this one mom says one time well, which time? And I was like, oh, it's okay, you're not alone. And it was that moment, in that conversation with that mom, that I really felt the Lord go see. I told you You're not alone, it wasn't just you, and so that really spoke volumes to me of like he could use that too.

Speaker 1: 12:50

Wow, and I'm sure that really reached down deep in the soul of that mom who needed to hear what you had to say. But if you hadn't said it then where would she be in her own walk? And interesting, as you guys are walking over the bridge, yeah, you know so how many times, I'm curious, how many times have you, would you guess, you've had to share that story since then?

Speaker 2: 13:12

oh gosh. Well, probably I mean a lot, um, you know, maybe a hundred or more times, simply because now it's used in other classes that you know we teach and it helps people feel comfortable and know that they're not alone. You know, when we're teaching divorce care classes and things like that, you know people are walking in and thinking that their story is the worst and when they hear me introduce myself and say oh yes, and I've been married twice, they're like wait what? Okay, I might actually fit in this group of people tonight. So yeah, I mean lots of times and it's no longer about the choice I made or jumping into that relationship, it's more about how God has used it and I love that and so something you know, we have a different the audience here.

Speaker 1: 14:08

We're all usually single moms. We do have some single dads that jump into this and we have people that are people of faith and we have people that maybe are questioning their faith or or maybe not faith-minded, but the common thing that they do share is that their character and their stories is. Being a single parent, but one thing I do want to highlight because I do think and I'm curious if you would agree that I think sometimes people of faith meaning a Christian I think we're even more cautious to share our story because we're afraid you know one we're going to be judged for our story or we feel like people aren't going to understand our story.

Speaker 1: 14:44

You know, we already feel like there's something wrong with us and we did something wrong and then we're broken. So I'm curious to see how, what your experience has been like. How have you used that as a Christian and how has that in your faith, you know, at church, what has what's that looked like for you?

Speaker 2: 15:01

Yeah, I mean, I think it's one of those things, that kind of um for lack of better word that it really cuts through to, you know, to the heart of of people, because you know, people walk into church, or people walk into a class, you know a divorce care class, for instance and, um, they're walking through the hardest thing that's happening to them.

Speaker 2: 15:25

And or they're walking through the door of that church going, yeah, no one's going to understand what I've gone through. And I think that's an opportunity for those of us that call ourselves Christians, those that are walking by faith, to really be vulnerable and share that hard piece. And share that that hard piece because what it does is it helps people realize like, oh, whoa, I might have just walked into a hospital here instead of a church, like, did I just walk into somewhere? Someone's actually gonna understand and be able to relate to the hard thing I'm walking through right now. Like it cuts through that, that persona that we all think as of a believer, as a Christian or someone of faith, when you are real with people and you just say, oh wait, yeah, me too. You know, it allows the the open dialogue to talk about it more.

Speaker 1: 16:16

Yeah, I love that and you know it's interesting. I find that to be my experience at first, at first for me, um, having grown up in church but not really realizing that there was something called a relationship that was possible that's a conversation for another time but I say that to say as I was someone that avoided church and then, especially now here I am, you know, divorced.

Speaker 1: 16:37

That was like the last place, and I think even our founder phyllis says that that was like the last thing on her bucket list to do. Like, yeah, I'll do that later in that, later in life, but first I'm going to do this, but for me, I know in my journey that that was the one thing that Lord used to get my butt back in church, and it was scary at first because as you're sitting there, I'm like, wow, there's a room full of married people and I feel like there's a spotlight on me, like, and I'm not. There must be something wrong with me, I don't know. Did you ever feel that? Yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 2: 17:05

I mean one of the things. I remember walking through the second divorce and being in the church and I remember, you know there were, there were some people in um, you know, my Sunday school connection glass, whatever you want to call it that. You know we're just, you know more like, oh, why aren't you inviting your husband to church Like they were more like they? Aren't you inviting your husband to church like they were more, like they weren't supportive, just questioning, and it made it very uncomfortable. And so my immediate response is like thinking like nope, I don't want to be around these people, I really don't want to be here anymore.

Speaker 2: 17:35

And I remember talking to the women's director and just like this is not fun, like I'm feeling attacked and I didn't do anything, you know. And I remember her saying to me you know, you can stay and lean into the Lord or you can run away from this place. And I was like, oh, and she's like stay and lean into the Lord and see what he does with this. And I'm so glad that I did, because it opened it up. And those people that were questioning me later on saw, oh, you know what, she is different and she's doing things different. And this isn't just her. This isn't just her fault, you know like it, it really helped them to see that I was like a real person walking through something really hard.

Speaker 1: 18:20

So I love that you know and something I want to build upon that too. So I love that you know and something I want to build upon that too, as someone. For me that wasn't really close to my family growing up.

Speaker 1: 18:38

What I found- in going to church, particularly as a single mom. It allowed me to be a part of something bigger than myself. It allowed me to be a part of family. And so in that family then there were people that were like, hey, I have a sister that's going through a divorce, do you mind talking to her? Or like even my son was like you know, he would talk to the kids that were going through a divorce. Like that whole notion of church is not a country club. I mean, it's a hospital for the hurting. That's where everyone going there their hurt is something different.

Speaker 1: 19:12

And so we could go on with church.

Speaker 2: 19:14

But let's go back to the village. Sure yeah.

Speaker 1: 19:22

Because? Okay, so explain more to me. First of all, again, I don't think we got clarity on what is Shepherd's Village, Village, so people understand when you're talking about that.

Speaker 2: 19:25

What is that? Of course, yeah. So Shepherds Village is a resource for single moms. You know we have a small housing piece, but primarily we have this amazing community that walks along single moms. So online resources, university courses that single parents, moms and dads, can get on and take anywhere in the world they're, you know, self-paced, so it's in their own time.

Speaker 2: 19:53

The podcast that you're doing, you know it's reaching so many single parents nationwide and those are things that help single parents realize that they don't have to stay stuck. So it's like having a support team, it's like having that family. They know every week they can get on with Sherry and hear what she's going through and what she's talking about and how she's going to help them with something else. So that's encouraging and those courses help build confidence. Courses help build confidence. So if single parents are trying to decide if they need to increase their income and go to school or take a certificate class, this helps build confidence that they can achieve that goal, that they can accomplish something, and so we've seen great success in that. Then, also for our local people, we've got the local classes, and so Shepherds Village has these life skills classes that we offer, you know, a couple times a month, and you know we're trying to give them the resources so that when they're walking through this much like you and me when we were like this is not the life I planned for me like how they pick up and dream again, how they plan again, how they figure out how their kids have a better future than what they thought was going to happen, and so, you know, bringing people in that are experts in different areas and finance and parenting and career, so that these moms can really be thinking outside of their situation and be thinking about success, and so, yeah, so that's been a huge, huge piece.

Speaker 2: 21:28

I mean, for me that was what helped, because I had family that was supportive but they didn't live here, and so to know that I could, you know, talk to my friend and that if my kids got locked out of the house, someone had a house, they could, you know, come hang in out, or if we had a meeting and I'd had a really hard day, or I was about to go to mediation in two days, like they would pray with me and they would help me through that. So just this community of support. Shepherds Village.

Speaker 2: 21:56

You know the reason Phyllis started Shepherds Village was to build a community for this vulnerable population of single parents, because they needed to know they were not alone. They needed to know that there was someone that understood that there was tons of single moms out there that just needed each other and that could help walk alongside each other and then bridge them bridge them to the church, bridge them to another resource, bridge them to something to help be successful. So we're not the end-all be-all, but we certainly are a good place to start for someone that's struggling and needs to know they're not alone. That's awesome.

Speaker 1: 22:32

Awesome. So let me ask you I want to continue on with our conversation about Shepherd's Village. Before we do that, I want the audience to get to know you a little bit more.

Speaker 2: 22:41

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 22:42

So let's talk about your time when you were at the village. We you and I we've always have this saying that you know, especially when we're talking to people who are new to Shepherd's Village, that, as a single mom, you know she, when she comes in Shepherd's Village, she comes in one door, but our goal is that she walks out a different door, and that a door of success. So my question to you would be you know what was that door when you walked into Shepherd's Village? Who was that? April? What was that door that you walked in? And then tell me about when you walked out, when you left Shepherd's Village. Now, what door did you walk out and what did that look like for you and your family?

Speaker 2: 23:21

Yeah. So the door I walked in, I was stressed, I was living in chaos, I was living in embarrassment, you know, as we talked out earlier, for having come through a second relationship. Um, raising three daughters, all of you know, teenager age, you know, was a stress in itself. Um, there was a lot of uncertainties and when I walked through that door, one I didn't know if I was going to be able to afford the rent here. I was like taking a leap of faith on that Um, but God provided in that way. Um, you know, there was, it was, it was chaotic, it was, it was uncertain. That was a huge. I remember walking in and just being uncertain of what things look like.

Speaker 2: 24:06

Um, and I remember, you know, one of the first meetings I had with Phyllis. So we, you know, do these goal meetings and like I'd been here like two, three weeks and I remember sitting down with her on a Saturday morning and she was going through some different tools that we use here. You know talking about, you know, uh, you know goals and where we wanted our life to go. And I remember her saying, well, if you could dream about what's your future look like, what was that dream you had when you were a little girl. And it took me a few minutes because I was like what do you mean? Dream Like I'm in chaos right now. What do you want me to dream about? And so I took a couple of minutes and I thought about it and I was like, wow, like I've always wanted to go to college, wow, I just really want to go to college. And she was like okay. And I was like, but I know I need to increase my income. And you know, then I started kind of unraveling a little bit. She's like, okay, calm down, you know. She's like, okay, calm down, you know.

Speaker 2: 25:02

And we put it to this plan, right, and we had this plan. And she's like, okay, yes, your finances are a little strapped, so let's consider, you know, trying to find a little better paying job first. And I was like okay. And then she's like, once you get settled in that let's revisit the school idea. Because I had no idea what I wanted to go to school for. I just had that desire on my heart. And to school for I just had that desire on my heart. And so immediately we kind of went to work to like just start working on my resume and looking for different job opportunities that would work with raising my kids. And so within the month or so, I think, I found a new job you know went from working in the school system to working at Indian Rocks, and that's where you know first met you, sherry, and um, you know it was a different environment but it was more conducive to just being available for my kids and having another level of support. And then it was a few months into that um cause I moved in in October and then so we do this big fundraiser at Shepherd's village, and so part of the fundraiser portion is that single moms that live at the village can apply for scholarships. And so it was like two months into that that um, I had this desire again for school and so I applied for a scholarship to look at schooling.

Speaker 2: 26:21

Um wrote an essay about you know, just that I felt like God wanted me to share my story, and I didn't know what that meant or what it looked like, but that maybe there'd be a job with Shepherd's Village at some point, and you know this job title might be community outreach with Shepherd's Village, and I would just be telling people about my story and how Shepherd's Village helped. What was interesting about that is I still had no idea what I was going to go to school for. Didn't know if that meant, you know, speaking of some sort, you know whatever. Talked to a couple different people had kind of narrowed it down that I was looking at Liberty University online because that could work really well around working and being a parent. And so when I wrote this essay, Phyllis says to me after I turn it in she's like this is so cool, like the job title that you put in this essay I actually have on my vision board for Shepherd's.

Speaker 1: 27:14

Village.

Speaker 2: 27:15

Yes, and I was like okay, sure. Yeah Well you know it's going to take me a while to get through school because I'm only going to do like one class at a time I said but you know what, when we get to a place where we can revisit that conversation, you know, let's look at it.

Speaker 2: 27:31

And uh, she was like okay, so I get the scholarship, I start taking classes. And I felt so empowered. I remember putting a door, a note on my door at night, from 9pm to midnight I was in school. I would do dinner with my kids, do the dishes, get them ready for bed, and I would tell them at 9 o'clock I'm going to my room to work on school. You go to your room and go to bed and I remember, just like the first A that I got in school and I was just like this is amazing, like I screenshot it, I put it on Facebook, I showed it to my kids and my kids were like my biggest cheerleaders and that whole thing, like they just were like mom, we're so happy for you and it was so encouraging and I just I kept going, kept going. My friends, my neighbors, they were just so supportive.

Speaker 2: 28:19

One of my friends, couple doors down, she was a teacher and she would, you know, come over on Saturdays and take my kids down to her house and bring me coffee and say get some school done, you got two hours, you know, and you know, just things like that were how I accomplished that goal, you know, and it was just, it was so, um, exciting, it was a challenge, but it was so exciting, I just I could see some light, like I was, I was going to accomplish something I really wanted to accomplish.

Speaker 2: 28:45

And so, um, I had the goal when I started school that I wanted to graduate the same year, um, that my youngest daughter graduated high school. And, um, so we just kept plugging along and, and, yeah, so two years or, excuse me, two weeks before she graduated high school, I graduated from college with my bachelor's in Christian ministry and it was such a blessing, like I just did not think that that was the goal that I would ever accomplish. And it was, um, it was just so rewarding, um, but in that whole process, you know, so, revisiting, going back to that, that essay I wrote eight months into school, you know, phyllis came to me and said listen, we're ready to hire you now here at Shepherd's Village okay, the place that you live now also wanted to hire you.

Speaker 2: 29:36

Yes, yes, and I was like, okay, for what? Yeah, and she said exactly what you wrote about tell people about being a single mom and about Shepherd's Village.

Speaker 1: 29:46

So Sharing your story, sharing my story, isn't that? Funny yeah, and I was like okay All right, so I'm going to share more of my story. Okay, so what? So when you started here at Shepherd's Village, what, what was your job?

Speaker 2: 30:01

Yeah, so I was the community outreach assistant and basically, is you know, I I did some admin things, but mainly like if we had events or things we needed to go and speak to, phyllis would just get up there and have me speak about. You know coming to Shepherd's Village and what it was like to live there, and you know my life and what Shepherd's Village helped me with and you know all the things that we were doing. So it was, it was. It was I was nervous in the very beginning, but I really do feel like I mean, god was just in it from the very beginning.

Speaker 2: 30:38

I'm sure the more you shared your story, the easier it got to tell.

Speaker 2: 30:42

Yeah, it did, and more than that. I think what was super encouraging is people that you know we'd be in. You know situations in churches or different organizations, and people would just come up to us at the end and go, oh my gosh, thanks for sharing your story, I was a single mom, or you know. Wow, you know, you know you inspired me to share my story because no one knew I was a single mom. You know things like that and it's like every place we went there was just people that were like they either knew a single mom or a single mom or raised by a single mom.

Speaker 1: 31:20

And so it just was like okay, this is, this is how God's using it, okay. So I want to ask you to with that, so tell me about how important is and you shared some of it but build this out for me like what, how important is it for a support system for single moms? We got a lot of single moms listening. What advice would you give to them on what's one that maybe they don't have, that's not readily available?

Speaker 2: 31:36

So, yeah, more about the support system. The support yeah, that's what I heard. It was really important it was, I mean. So you know, when I came to Shepherd's Village, like I mentioned, I had family that I could have gone and lived with, but they lived in a different state and so staying in Florida was a it was a financially safe decision, but it was a hard decision because I'm a people person and so, aside from my church family, I didn't really have any family here, you know. And so finding people that you know, that were relatable, that you know could, that were doing life together, shepherds Village really provided that in the community here. But it was more than that. It was, you know, getting involved in different classes in my local church or in the in the community we live, to bring people together.

Speaker 2: 32:30

Like I just can't, I can't imagine not having someone to talk to or to pray with. Or I mean there were times that when you know I just can't, I can't imagine not having someone to talk to or to pray with. Or I mean there were times that when you know, I was going through something with one of my teenagers where I just, you know, I knew there was a neighbor that I could go knock on her front window at midnight and she would just come out and pray with me, you know. Or vice versa, she would knock on my window at midnight and just need someone to talk to. And I think, as a single parent, that's super important because you're lacking that support, right? You're single parenting, you're the one person doing the job of two usually and you lack that other listening ear. You lack that person that can just you can bounce things off of. And you know, my friends, my support, didn't always have the answer. Most likely they usually they pointed it back and said well, have you prayed about this? Or you know what is God telling you about this? I mean, they were never really giving me the answer, but just being able to talk to another human being about something, to realize, a was I crazy? Or B, that I wasn't crazy and I could make this decision and stand strong on it.

Speaker 2: 33:33

And so support, finding the people that you can trust and talk to is critical. And I will just say one cautionary note there that you know, find safe people, because not everybody is going to understand what you're walking through, and so you don't want to share your story with everybody, you don't want to put it out there on social media for everybody to you know kind of give advice on. But find those people that you know you can trust, that they love you, they love your kids and they want what's best for you. Those are the people that you want to talk to, those are the people that you want in your corner, and that doesn't mean they're always telling you what you want to hear. Most times my friends were telling me things that I did not want to hear, but that's what helped me. That's what helped me grow for sure.

Speaker 1: 34:41

I think that's true in a lot of situations. I remember the first time I heard someone say well, the truth hurts, and I did it stung, but you know what?

Speaker 1: 35:00

I think, particularly for a single parent who's wanting to do something different and that's what I really love about the opportunity to be able to do this show is to speak the truth. Yeah, because if you don't speak the truth, particularly to someone who isn't in a place where they really need someone to pour into them and speak that to them, they're going to continue to on the same path. And so that saying you know that we walk in one door but we leave out a different door I think that's what we want, not just for the moms here at Shepherd's Village.

Speaker 1: 35:17

You know, know, the residence program but for all single moms, is to walk out a different door than the one that you entered into this crisis season in and having someone that you can really that trust, that will speak truth to you, to get you to you know. It's kind of like having an accountability partner or sponsor I guess you know in the CR program I think is what they call it Someone that can hold you accountable to what you said you wanted to do for your life and you know, I'm sure you can agree that I mean being a single mom is.

Speaker 1: 35:49

it's not easy, right, you know you can either stay stuck and stuck in the crisis, or you could do something different, and um doing something different, it's not easy.

Speaker 2: 35:59

It's not easy, no, and and and. Doing something different can be counter-cultural, you know. It can go against what this world is telling you to do and I think that that makes it harder, right, Because you might be standing alone for something that you believe you're supposed to be doing. And, um, you know prime example, just going back a little bit in my story when I came to shepherd's village, I did not want to make a quick decision to get out of this second marriage because I'd made such a quick decision to get in it. And I remember there was 15 months of separation there and I remember even my own kids going well, mom, you know, just get divorced, get it over with. And I'm like I need to hear that this is exactly what I'm supposed to do.

Speaker 2: 36:46

And it was a long 15 minute of 15 months, but it was. It was the way it needed to be, because God worked out a lot of things, a lot of healing in my life and in my kids' lives and making a way for everything that needed to happen, just the way it needed to happen. And I don't know that it would have happened that way if I had been so quick to just sign a paper and be done. It had to happen that way. I love that.

Speaker 1: 37:10

I love that, and I love something that we were talking about earlier, as we were talking before we got on the show too, you were sharing another single mom uh story with me, and there was something important that you had talked about in there that I think is applicable to what you just said, if you wouldn't mind sharing that about surviving.

Speaker 2: 37:26

Yes.

Speaker 1: 37:27

I think it's with the survivor tree that we have. Oh yes.

Speaker 2: 37:30

Yes, so yeah, we've got this amazing survivor tree, um, from the Oklahoma city bombing. It was a sapling that we got and it's grown so large and so we're we're praying about the permanent place for that. Right now we need a building and so, but it's huge and it's it's a testament to just what God does and what he's doing. And I was talking to another single mom who was stating she said she's got all these amazing changes and things happening in her life. She's, you know, going to get married and she's got a house that's being built and all these amazing things. And she's like, april, I just don't know what's next. Like, you know, as a single mom, we are always living to survive, that we we don't take notice of what's right in front of us, like we're not really living our life, we're just, we just keep surviving. And I was like that's so true. And I was like, well then, it's time to just live, it's time to just enjoy this life that you have.

Speaker 2: 38:27

And she kind of looked at me like, and this is a single mom, and this is a single mom and she's like you know what? You're right. It's time to just enjoy the life that God's given me and where I'm going, and stop just surviving.

Speaker 1: 38:39

Wow. What I love about that is that also sounds like your story. Like if you hadn't paid attention to like I like to call them breadcrumbs that he dropped on your path, I can't imagine how differently your life would look. You know your children's life. You know and that's something huge that we might get into a little bit. But what we do as single parents. I mean, we got little eyes that are watching us and you know it's not just about us and what we're going through.

Speaker 1: 39:14

They're going through it, too with us. Yeah, but one of the things that I love that our founder Phyllis had said is that we're touching two generations at a time. Because of what? And my point is is because you paid attention and to what God had for you and you shared your story. I mean, look where he took you, and we're not done to where she's gone.

Speaker 2: 39:35

We've got more to that.

Speaker 1: 39:36

We'll get to that in a second, and where your children are at too you know and where they are, because you followed in faith his journey that he had for you at the village and beyond.

Speaker 2: 39:50

Yeah, yeah, I mean it is, it's, it's, it's exciting to see, um, you know, when you you know we've talked about this a couple different times you know when you completely surrender that and just realize, okay, God, you know you've got to do something here and I'm trusting you for whatever that looks like, and so, yeah, I mean that's, that's kind of where that, where that happened at.

Speaker 1: 40:19

So and so let's walk out that door.

Speaker 1: 40:23

We're going to, we're going to walk out that door, so you, you leave the village and okay and this is a question that most single moms usually have is what's next? So what, what's next? I mean you were here for how long? Um, just yeah, about three years, okay. So you're here three years. I mean you were here for how long? Um, just yeah, about three years, okay. So you're here three years. I mean, and every mom you know, particularly at the village, when they leave here, there's a what's next and there's something different. So what was next for you and what, what did?

Speaker 1: 40:46

you take from the village with you.

Speaker 2: 40:47

Yeah. So you know, really, what I took from the village was, um, this idea that, um and we've talked about this before, I think you've said this on your podcast before that you know, if you want something different, you have to do something different. And so, walking out a different door than I came in was now you know what? Um, I, I really wanted to, um, have a husband. I really wanted to, you know, be married. And so, in that process of healing and everything that was happening at shepherd's Village, I did meet my husband, and so a next step for me was, you know, we were going to get married and buy a house and you know, really, see where this career at Shepherd's Village was going. And so we moved out, and I moved out in 2016.

Speaker 2: 41:37

We got married in 2017, still on staff at Shepherd's Village and in 2018, you know, we had a major crisis here at the village. You know, just, it was awful. We were trying to do something fun with the moms and the plumbing, just, oh boy, kind of it all hit the fan, it all hit the fan and so. But in that process, our founder saw something in me that I don't know if I saw in myself really at that moment. But you know, she saw this, this leader kind of emerge, and so she, you know, had dinner with me and my husband and said you know, I really believe that God is leading you to to be the my successor at Shepherd's village.

Speaker 1: 42:21

Wow.

Speaker 2: 42:22

And I mean I was just, I was honored, I was honored and just like whoa, like really you know and um, you know. So then the next couple of years we're just kind of pouring into that some great mentorship. You know her and I just really um, me trying to learn as much as I could about ministry and um, and where the, the shepherd's village and the and the vision everything was going to go, and um, learning a lot, um, it's hard to think I've always been like a behind the scenes kind of person and so to now be, you know, the, the leader of it, I was like whoa okay this is a big responsibility, but something I want to add to that and this is something that I've said to you before, and having to, I mean April, and I do spend a lot of time together.

Speaker 2: 43:08

So I really get.

Speaker 1: 43:09

I really know her and I know things about her, and one of the things I always have said to you particularly is is I think that your experience as a single mom of three they were teenage girls growing up developed that leadership skill for you and I really want to highlight that and really focus on that, because you know what? There may be a single mom out there that's listening. That's like, well, what do I have?

Speaker 2: 43:31

You know what can.

Speaker 1: 43:32

I do and she's. She's stuck, yeah, but look how the Lord used that. I mean you emerged as a leader. You learned this is one of the things I say crucial conversations and conflict resolution having to be the mom and the dad raising three girls yes who are also now dealing with their own crisis from some of the decisions that, as a parent, you made. Right that they were also suffering the consequences of yes.

Speaker 2: 44:00

Yeah, no, I, I totally agree with you there. I mean I can look back and it's like, yeah, you know, I might have a bachelor's degree from an accredited college, but I mean there's definitely the, the school of, of learning when you're a single parent. And so, yeah, I mean definitely, you know, for those moms that are feeling like you know what, I don't have that college degree or I don't have this, and, man, where is my life going to go? I want to encourage you that you know God has you in this season for a purpose and he's going to use every piece of the of your story to help someone else. And actually a professor at Liberty said this to me, said it in one of my classes, and said the more things that you've been through are, the more people you will touch.

Speaker 2: 44:47

Wow, and I think about that often because, going back to that day when I was completely embarrassed walking through a second divorce, I I resonate on that and go. I would not be able to have those conversations with the people I talk to now about a second divorce if I'd not walked through that myself. And so if you're walking through something or you've made a wrong choice, you know, do that U-turn, like Sherry's talked about, for do that U-turn and realize that God is going to use that too and he's got a purpose for it. And you know it may, because he's trying to give you some leadership skills, because you're going to be leading something someday that's bigger than something you ever thought you would be.

Speaker 1: 45:28

Exactly and to build on that, and so you know you would talk about earlier about dreaming and really kind of almost brought tears to my eye, because what single mom has an opportunity to dream, you know? And so the fact that Phil is the founder at that time asked you to dream and you were dreaming and part of your dream was wanting to be married again.

Speaker 1: 45:49

And so not that I want to stay, too long in that, but I find that that also very fascinating, and that might be something encouraging to a single mom as well. Who, who may give up on that. That's possible for me or no. I shouldn't do that again because I've screwed up before. The Lord redeemed that too, and that he honored a dream that was in your heart to be. I remember you always saying you know what did you want to be? And you said you wanted to be a wife. A, a wife, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 46:23

It's interesting to think about that because that was a dream of mine and I think the reason it was still a dream of mine to be a wife was because I'd been through some things and I'd done the work in Celebrate Recovery to work on some of the things that I had brought into these relationships. Of the things that I had brought into these relationships, I felt like I was at a place where I just wanted to be able to. I wanted to be able to redeem that and use all the skills and things that God had placed on my heart and work and done through me and do it right and be able to to exercise those things out in a, in a good marriage. And so, um, you know I know Sherry's talked about it in her dating series, but when I put that list together of all the things that I wanted that person to be, um, you know, when I met my husband, I was still in school and he said he goes, we're not getting married if you don't finish school. And that alone was so encouraging to me because it wasn't just my dream anymore. He was honoring my dream, he was, he was supporting it and that spoke volumes into me.

Speaker 2: 47:18

So, yeah, so I mean that dream of being a wife was critical and I don't think I don't, I don't view that as crazy for any one single mom that has that If that's a dream of yours, it's a lot of work, meaning it's not just about it wasn't about going out and finding that person and and you know, that's maybe a story for another time but part of that was that you know, I remember telling my friend Sherry and others like, nope, I'm praying that God brings them right here to this pew, at this church, cause I'm not going anywhere to look for him. And sure enough, you know we met at church, but because I knew that I wasn't going to just go out and find this person.

Speaker 1: 47:55

So yeah, Well, that says a lot, and that says a lot. Maybe we can go when we revisit next time we were in the datings maybe we can go back on that as you know, as we focused before on, uh, the conversations I've had with some of the moms about dating apps.

Speaker 1: 48:10

Maybe we could talk about getting off the app. Yeah, there you go. That's interesting. Okay, so tell me about your passion now for Shepherd's Village. Tell me more about you. Are the executive director, so you went from community outreach to Phyllis, who just retired what a year ago. Yeah, so she handed the baton over to you, which, this, was her baby, and now it's yours to take care of. Yeah, what? What's in the? What do you want people to know about you or Shepard's Village? This is the. You've got the microphone. Go ahead.

Speaker 2: 48:41

Yeah, so I, I, I guess I the big thing is, I just want people to know that.

Speaker 2: 48:46

You know, shepard's Village loves single moms and and I don't say that lightly, because I see the heart and the passion behind every single one of the people that work at Shepherds Village you know, sherry and I both have been single moms, but Candice and Amanda, you know, not having been single moms, but just love and have a passion for people and what we're doing, and so they relate to our moms in some great ways.

Speaker 2: 49:19

They relate to our moms in some great ways, and so the goal, the vision for what we have here is to be able to just be this premier resource for single moms. Like we know that we've got something good here. We know that, um, it's not in, you know what we say, but it's really the actions and the attitudes and what we play out every single day for these moms. And so you know, whether it's to the phone call when Amanda enters that phone and listens to these calls and prays with them at the end, to you know, you and I leading a class or Candace talking to a church, like it's in everything that we do, it's in every aspect, every lane of of what this, the village is, village is, and we want to do more of it. You know the need is great. There's 55,000 single moms just here in our local county, and so we know that we're not done and we know that we're not going to solve certain problems.

Speaker 1: 50:10

We know that we don't have the answer.

Speaker 2: 50:12

Yeah. I mean what do you?

Speaker 1: 50:14

what do you? I know one particular problem. I'm glad that you got here, so I apologize if I cut you off, but I'm hoping this is where you were headed, Because here particularly I'm sure I don't know where you all are listening but particularly where we live, there's a housing crisis.

Speaker 2: 50:29

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 50:30

And so now you have single moms that aren't only just in crisis, walking crisis, you know. Maybe you know they've lost a spouse or a partner, or they got pregnant and now they're a single mom. Now they have this other crisis. Can you talk more about that?

Speaker 2: 50:44

Yeah, I mean, that's been the toughest thing, you know. So you know the the the stat, the new stat from 2020 or 2021 has been that you know these single moms, single moms all over the nation. You know we're not in a long-term relationship, so they don't have that extended family, they don't have that support that so many single moms had, you know, back sixties, through the nineties, through the early two thousands, and so now we're dealing with a different culture of mom who doesn't have even that extended family that they could rely on. Like, like, when I was in the situation, I had an extended family that would allow me to stay somewhere with them, and so that's been a challenge. So you know, we also are facing this housing crisis and unfortunately, I mean, it is. It's heartbreaking, it's heartbreaking, and the hard thing is is I I don't believe that that is where God has called us to, and I'll follow that up with the answer. I believe.

Speaker 2: 51:42

I believe that that's not the answer for us to provide all the housing Couple things. One, because we just don't have the space for it. There's just not enough people to run that and to do that, and so it would get us off mission really to do that, and so it's, it's it would get us off mission really. Um. The second thing is because I truly believe that in a single mom's life it's. It's like that old saying you know, you, you teach a man to fish and then he'll you know how, to know how to fish forever, or whatever you know, and I'm sure I messed that up, but um, it's similar to that that we can't just give these moms a house and think it changes their life.

Speaker 2: 52:21

We have to come alongside them and we have to show them how to do something different, and what that means is showing them how to do a budget. It means showing them how to discipline their kids. It means showing them how to show up for church. It means show them how to show up for church. It means show them how to um, you know, keep a clean house, like all kinds of things, all kinds of things. But you have to give them the skills and and give them a community of support where they, so they can be successful, and I think that's what we've seen over 33 years. Right, I, you know it. It really does go back to the point of building this community.

Speaker 2: 52:59

The community might look different. The community might not be in a building. I think you know a housing building. I think it can be in a building. It can be in a building where we can, you know, have additional classes and supports and working with nonprofits.

Speaker 2: 53:14

I think that's one thing that we've got really going really well for us is, you know, we don't have to do this alone. We've got other organizations that we can come alongside, and they can come alongside us, and we can help a lot more single moms, and so that's kind of where I see that going. Um, and so the vision for that is, yeah, we, we need a centrally located building that we could just bring everybody together under one roof and a mom could walk in off the door and we could give her a little bit of food, maybe some clothes, and say you know what, come in here, let's work on your resume, or you know what, let's get you a coaching session with Amanda so we can talk about you know what is your next step and really allow every single mom to come in and dream again.

Speaker 1: 54:01

I love that. So we could have like a dream workshop or something. Yeah, I mean, how cool would that be to have a bunch of women in the room. Who, man? How nice would it be just to get away for like an hour, like they could put their kids somewhere where they know their kids are taken care of, and they could sit somewhere and just dream. Yeah, like that just makes me want to cry.

Speaker 2: 54:22

Well, and you know why? Because here's the thing, and this goes beyond just single moms. I mean, I'm talking to everybody at this moment, but like if you, I mean if you forget what your dream is if you forget what your next, you know, your next challenge in life is. Then what are we doing? I mean, you have to be ready for that, and so, um, if you are, you know, like this other someone, if you're so caught up in just surviving every single day, you forget there was a dream out there, exactly.

Speaker 1: 54:53

So that brings me to a great point, probably, where we can soon end this time. Okay, success. I mean there was intentionality that I had in naming this single mom success and sharing success stories. Say that real fast, because I do believe it is possible for a single mom to have success even when it seems like everything is falling apart. It's also why I highlighted you know that moms are six the moms particularly we're going to interview we're crushing it in their single mom season, even while they felt like they were being crushed. Something that I've heard you say before at the village was talking about success. Yeah, what tell me about what success looks like at the village? I think I've heard you say correct me if I'm wrong it's different for every mom.

Speaker 2: 55:45

Yes, yes, I was just going to say that success is different for every single mom, and you know, much like you said, we. You know, we walk in one door and we leave through a different door. That is so true, but those success stories are different for every single person. You know, I can go down the row of the apartments and go okay, success for my neighbor in number seven was, you know, getting her own place when she left and being able to afford that rent. You know, success for the next door coming out of that was that she got to be a wife again. You know, um, success for the next door coming out of that was that she got to be a wife again. You know, success for another mom was that her relationship with her three children was restored because it had not been good when she moved in.

Speaker 2: 56:30

Um, success for another mom is that, you know, uh, she got the, the dream job she always wanted, and she's a travel nurse. You know, some of them it's. They finished their bachelors. Some of them, it's they got the dream job she always wanted and she's a travel nurse. You know, some of them it's. They finished their bachelor's. Some of them, it's they got their high school diploma. Some of them is that all of their kids graduated high school.

Speaker 2: 56:45

I mean those are all success stories that look so different, but in that mom's life coming in that door in crisis and thinking that her whole world just ended, and then three years later she walks out the door with a high school graduate, a student that's going in as their first generation college student that's ever gone to college in their family. You know the mom that can afford the rent but, you know, isn't going to buy a home. I mean those are all successes. And so, yeah, we say our success rate here is, you know, 96, 97%, because they're walking out a different door and they're doing something different when they first came in and they're they're not returning to that single mom status or they're not returning to a bad relationship. You know, there's some things, some factors there. They've learned right, they figured out some different things, and I think that's exciting to think about. And so I would just say that success is different for every single single mom.

Speaker 1: 57:47

And I think you would say that and I love that because I think that's different for every single mom that's listening. Yes, so I want to ask you because I know, like so, if you, if you're aware of Shepherd Village Shepherds Village, I mean, there's limited doors of opportunity. We have what? 12 on property? Yes, but we service so much more beyond our doors. What about the mom that doesn't live with us, you know, on property? What about what is success for the mom that's maybe participating in our programs, or moms that haven't even participated in our programs? What?

Speaker 2: 58:19

yeah, what would that be? I would say the success for the non-resident mom, you know, maybe the one that's listening here you know, first of all, if you don't have that support system, find your, find your support system, because success can be limited if it's if you're doing it by yourself. And I feel like you need people in your life. You know. This is another thing that Phyllis said as far as, like hiring people. You know, hire people that are smarter than you. And it's the same thing in your life, right, like, get people in your life that are smarter than you. You know, I love that because, like, I think that's why we have such a great friendship, sherry, because, like you are such a creative person and there are things that you are so much better at than I am, and vice versa, and so we help each other in that sense. And so I think, finding support, finding people that can help you think outside of yourself, and then the moms that are local and that are plugging in in our classes, I mean that's a great first step. I would say, if you want more support, let us know you want more support. Like, we have resources, we, you know, we can get you a coach, we can get you a mentor, we can bring people in your life that can help you be successful. But maybe, maybe we do need to do a dream session. Maybe we need to. You know, let's, let's get together and get some moms together, because you know what that dream probably got smushed, it probably got, you know, pushed back when you have those kids or when the relationship went south and you're like trying to figure out what you do. And so you're living, you're, you're thrive, your work, you're living in survival mode and not thriving on that dream because it's so far pushed back. But yeah, I mean that success for those moms can happen and I think it just starts with some of the questions.

Speaker 2: 1:00:14

You know, what is it you want to see? What is it you want to do? Maybe start a journal and start thinking about those questions. You know what is that. Is it you want to see? What is it you want to do? Um, maybe start a journal and start thinking about those questions. You know what is that dream I always had and how do I get there? What do I need to get there? Do I? You know, what people do I need to bring into my life to help me get there? I?

Speaker 1: 1:00:29

love that, I love that. So, ironically, I mean, it may be a solo journey, but it doesn't have to be exactly exactly and I think that something that would you say that when you were ready to share your story, that that's when those things started to get highlighted for you.

Speaker 2: 1:00:48

Oh yeah, I mean it's interesting. As I started sharing my story, I mean the prayers that I had, I mean God just started answering them. You know, you know just crazy things like you know getting a battery for my car. You know getting a car, you know, um, just all the, all the things that even I mean the the practical things as a single parent that I didn't know how I was going to take care of that. When I started opening up and just sharing that story, god just started blessing me in practical ways that I was like wow, didn't know that was going to happen.

Speaker 1: 1:01:24

I love that. So before we close, I have two more questions. So let's say, for maybe someone that wants to contribute to this program maybe they're not a single mom, but maybe there's someone that's connected to a single mom or maybe there's someone that wants to get involved with the program, whether it's, you know, financially, or they want to pray, or, you know, are there opportunities for people to connect with Shepherd's?

Speaker 2: 1:01:43

Village. Yes, absolutely, you know we are a nonprofit ministry that's funded by, you know, grants and private donations and fundraising, and so you know a giving opportunity is always available. You know there's no gift that is too small because it all adds up to what we're trying to do right and to go back into helping these single moms, and so any gift of any amount is always welcome. But absolutely, we have lots of opportunities for volunteering and getting involved. Like I mentioned, you know we're always looking for mentors for our moms. We're also always looking for volunteers for childcare so our moms can attend a session. So, yeah, definitely reach out to us locally and would love to connect. And for churches, you know we have an opportunity to come and speak to your church and let them know that we're right here in your community. We want to be the single resource for single moms and then bridge them to your church.

Speaker 1: 1:02:43

I love that. I love that, yes, because I know that that's that just anchored in even so much more. You know that community of support. I mean you had it here at the Village of the Women and then you had it there, you know, at the church. I mean so, uh, yeah, love that. So, before we close, I mean, is there any takeaways? You know, like, I'm going to challenge you and I know this is not a question that's on your sheet, so you're pretty good at coming up with answers off the cuff, but you know, Phyllis gave you some takeaways about three things that you could do right now.

Speaker 1: 1:03:15

I mean Shepherd's Village maybe didn't have an immediate door of opportunity open for you for housing. What are three things that you would give right now to the single mom? That's listening takeaways that she could do when she stops listening to the show.

Speaker 2: 1:03:28

Wow, yeah, well, I guess they'd be different than what they are given to me, but I would maybe say you know what? Get that journal and get that pencil and write down that question what is my dream? You know, start dreaming and maybe you won't be able to answer that today or the minute that you write that down. But write it down and go back to it and pray about it, lift that up to the Lord and ask him what is that dream? Maybe you never thought about that before, but give it some thought.

Speaker 2: 1:03:59

Uh, I think the second thing again is just finding your community. If you are not plugged into a church, reach out to us. Let us give you some recommendations on a local church that you could get plugged into, because there's so many great ones in the area. Um, but get, get a church family, because you're not alone. There's a lot more single moms out there in a church than you think and that would be a good place to start.

Speaker 2: 1:04:25

And the last one I think is just is is again a support piece, but making sure that you have someone that you can talk to, whether that is a, you know a pastor, a friend and you know a co-worker, or if you reach out to us and you cut if your local come to a class or if you reach out online. You know we've got that prayer line that's answered by real people. You know that's a good place to start. If you just need to talk to somebody and you don't live in in Florida, you know that's a good place to start. If you just need to talk to somebody and you don't live in Florida, um, you know those are all great things.

Speaker 2: 1:05:02

Or you can call us directly. You know we Amanda answers those calls. But I think those are three things that you know just off the cuff, sharon, that that would be beneficial, because I think, if you are at a place because I know we deal with this a lot we've got moms that call us, that are in crisis or moms that come in in crisis. It's hard to really think about what I need to do and sometimes you just need to do what someone else told you to do yes, I agree, and I think that resonates probably with so many moms out there, and that's why I would encourage you to continue to be listening to these podcasts.

Speaker 1: 1:05:40

Read our blogs, go to Shepherds Village University. I mean, it was all done by single moms for single moms. Now we're a staff that isn't just single moms and now April is no longer a single mom she's married but the intentionality was all the foundation of that. It was all done in faith and it was all written by single moms for single moms. So we, we understand where you're at, Um, we, we also understand where you want to go, even if maybe you don't understand where you want to go right now.

Speaker 1: 1:06:07

Um, I just want to thank you so much for your time today because I know, as an executive director um, I don't know probably feels like being a single mom with all the things you have to do.

Speaker 1: 1:06:23

This was fun. This was fun. Thank you so much for having me today. You're welcome, you're welcome, and so I hope you all heard. I mean, sometimes success is just in sharing your story, and when you open yourself up and open yourself up to opportunities, particularly if you're women of faith, god's going to use it. You know, god uses everything, he uses all things for our good and glory and he can turn what was in ashes into something of beauty, and I hope you heard that here today. It's a beautiful story and, you know, stay connected with us, because April doesn't know it, but probably in a couple of weeks I'm going to interview one of her daughters.

Speaker 1: 1:06:56

Oh, boy, To hear what you know what their perspective and their journey was and also what they gleaned from the village, but also I'd be curious to see what they think is single mom success.

Speaker 1: 1:07:08

Yeah, so stay with us. Thank you again for your time. We love you and please visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom for more inspiration and information. And April, would I be able to give them your email address? I'll put that in our link as a link in our description notes if they have questions more about the village or how to get connected with us in some of the programs and services that April shared with you.

Speaker 1: 1:07:34

One of the things I know that we always say here at the village too, is we may not be able to put a roof over everyone's head, but we could put hope in their heart, and I hope that today. That that's what you heard here and it gives you a little bit of hope to continue pursuing your dream and pursuing your success today, because it is possible. Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. Thanks for listening to. It's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom. Backslash prayer For more information and resources. Check out our show notes.