So, today in keeping in line with our single mom's success, I thought I would run with this thought today. What is one character trait that every successful single mom I know has, GRIT.
Oh yeah, they have learned how to get a grit!!!!
So, what is grit? Do you have it and how can I get me some of that? In this episode will discover that, and even uncover a telling truth that single moms have in common with a prisoner and survivor from World War II Nazi concentration camps.
You won't want to miss hearing that.
You want leave empty handed, as I also, give you 10-practical steps you can put into practice to get a grit! Success in your single season, is possible.
PASS IT ON TO THE NEXT SINGLE MOM - If you have been blessed by this podcast, sign up today with a monthly gift of any amount, click here.
So, today in keeping in line with our single mom's success, I thought I would run with this thought today. What is one character trait that every successful single mom I know has, GRIT.
Oh yeah, they have learned how to get a grit!!!!
So, what is grit? Do you have it and how can I get me some of that? In this episode will discover that, and even uncover a telling truth that single moms have in common with a prisoner and survivor from World War II Nazi concentration camps.
You won't want to miss hearing that.
You want leave empty handed, as I also, give you 10-practical steps you can put into practice to get a grit! Success in your single season, is possible.
PASS IT ON TO THE NEXT SINGLE MOM - If you have been blessed by this podcast, sign up today with a monthly gift of any amount, click here.
It's a Single Mom Thing, Not the Single Thing That Stops You!
Speaker 1:
Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing, the show for single moms by single moms. This is Sheri, your host, and I am happy you are here today. Remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. Welcome back, my single peeps, to another episode of it's a Single Mom Thing. Today we're going to do a little pivot and plant, as my scheduled guests could not make it today. Today we're going to do a little pivot and plant, as my scheduled guests could not make it today, but that's okay, right, we're single peeps and well, that's something we do all the time Pivot, pivot and pivot. So today, in keeping in line with our single mom success, I thought I would run with this thought today.
Speaker 1:
What is one character trait that every successful single mom I know has? Grit. They have learned how to get a grit. What is grit? So, when we're talking about grit, what is that, or what does that really mean?
Speaker 1:
Grit, in psychological terms, refers to the combination of perseverance and passion for long-term goals. It's about having the stamina and determination to persist in the face of challenges and setbacks, while maintaining a deep-seated commitment to achieving your objectives. Angela Duckworth, a psychologist who pioneered research on grit, describes it as a trait that involves sustained effort and resilience over time, I think, kind of like weightlifting, even when confronted with adversity or failure. Do we know something? Something about that? So, in essence, grit is more than just resilience or perseverance alone, as it encompasses a strong inner drive of resilience to setbacks and a steadfast pursuit of goals despite obstacles. It's about staying committed to a future goal and working diligently towards it, even when progress may be slow or difficult. And hear me out as a single mom, progress may be just that, slow or difficult. And that, my ladies, you have to keep in the forefront of your mind so you don't sell your dream, your drive, your goals, your standards down a river, thinking your life is but a dream, count on it, expect it. It is progress over perfection. The successful moms that I know what they did is they trained for their single season like it was a marathon, not a race to the finish line.
Speaker 1:
Do you know and I just want to share this with you do you know that just yesterday I finished that children's book that I talked to you about in an earlier podcast? Now that story, if you remember, first came to me over 18 years ago, at the beginning of my solo journey. Today I can say it with excitement, kind of like Jesus Well, not like Jesus, but I'll use his words. It is finished Now. Listen, just because it took me 18 years to write and illustrate it doesn't mean I was lazy. No, not at all. It took mad grit to record that story and those to come, allowing God to develop and define me in that solo journey, developing a stronger inner drive, using and pay attention here, using my solo journey as the teacher and life experience.
Speaker 1:
I learned how to get a grit. Do you want to know what I know about you? You want to get a grit too. If you've been hanging with me for a while, like a loose hair in a biscuit all this time, let me tell you, in fact you already have it to some degree. Oh yeah, and here's the nitty gritty.
Speaker 1:
The nitty gritty you are stronger than you think. It takes grit to do everything you already do your everyday actions, choices and attitudes you exhibit as you navigate the complexity and the crazy of raising your kiddos solo mio. It takes strength and unwavering commitment to create a better future both for yourself and your family. And here are some specific ways I see your grit. Number one, in your persistence in your responsibilities. You juggle multiple roles and responsibilities, such as caregiving, managing finances, maintaining a household. Grit you see manifests as your ability to persistently fulfill these duties listen to me day in and day out, despite fatigue or overwhelm. Number two here's something that you also do you have a commitment to long-term goals. Even if you don't realize it, gritty single moms, they have clear long-term goals for themselves and their children, such as pursuing higher education, advancing in your careers or providing a stable environment. Did you ever realize that you know what you also do? You remain committed to those goals, over time, making sacrifices and tough decisions to achieve them, even if these goals aren't jotted down on a piece of paper, nor on your refrigerator.
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Number three you're resilient in the face of adversity. You, my single peeps, unlike dual parent families, frequently encounter challenges such as financial strain, societal stigma or emotional stress. Grit enables you to bounce back from setbacks, learn from failures and adopt to changing circumstances without losing sight of your objectives, even if it seems like all you do is yell at your kiddos all the time. Here's something else you do. Number four you keep a positive mindset and optimism. Optimism was what I meant to say.
Speaker 1:
Nitty gritty single moms. They tend to maintain a positive outlook, despite difficulties. They view challenges as opportunities for growth and learning rather than insurmountable obstacles, fostering resilience and perseverance in their journey. Even if you aren't so positive, you are always positive. And number five you seek and utilize support. Grit is also evident in your ability to seek and utilize support and networks, whether through a church, family friends, community resources or support groups. Whether through a church, family friends, community resources or support groups, you understand the importance of asking for help when needed, while maintaining independence and self-resilience. The key is, you ask for help even when you don't want to.
Speaker 1:
Number six, and this is the last thing that I've noticed Well, there's many, but I'm going to end with this one is that you role model for your children, and you do this by demonstrating grit in your own lives. Single moms teach their children valuable lessons about perseverance, determination and resilience. You, my mamas, you serve as a powerful role model, showing that hard work and dedication can lead to achieving goals despite challenges and a little change in your wallet, and I want to share this with you. Do you know? Just the other day, I had this gent, mind you, a gentleman tell me he had a better childhood experience with his single mom, while on the contrary to some of his friends that grew up with both their parents. You see, I told you success is possible as a single mom. So what I want to do today is teach you how to continue to develop that grit using 10 practical strategies. So let's get gritty.
Speaker 1:
Developing grit is a gradual process, mind you. That involves cultivating perseverance, resilience and passion over time. Did you hear that Over time, as a single mom? Well, you put in a lot of overtime, but over time you may not have, let's say, lots of time in your daily schedule, but you do have some time and it will add up over time if you use it wisely. So slow your roll, sisters. So now let's get on to discussing some of those practical strategies to help you and maybe even teach your kiddos how to develop grit along the way.
Speaker 1:
Number one you're going to set clear goals, or I also want you to think of them as standards that you're going to set for yourself. Now, in order to do that, first you have to define where you are and then start from there. Start to define specific, challenging and achievable goals and or standards that align listen to me with your long-term aspirations. Now I know you have some perspirations, but have you ever thought about your aspirations Now? If not, I would strongly encourage you to pause right now and listen to the episode.
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You Can Dream Again. Then. Take these goals or standards, breaking them down into smaller, manageable steps. Remember baby steps. Make big dreams in order to maintain that motivation and track progress. For starters, let's say keep it to, let's say, three goals or standards that you want to create as habits over the next 30 days. Write them down, keep them simple and put them somewhere where you can see them and get gritty 30 days after 30 days, they become more than a habit. They become part of your grit.
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Two you got to maintain consistency. Without consistency, it ain't happening. Commit to a consistent effort and practice towards your goals or standards. And that's why I say baby steps, make big dreams. If you try to change too much at one time, you won't sustain it. You need to practice towards your goals, even when progress seems slow or obstacles arise, because you know they will arise. Consistency builds momentum and then it reinforces determination with lots of practice. Now ask yourself is my goal or standard to win or is it for sale? Because if it's to win, you will stay consistent towards that aspiration that you want to achieve Now.
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Number three embrace challenges. View obstacles as opportunities for growth rather than setbacks. That means you're kind of developing a growth mindset that welcomes adversity, which is funny, because normally, as single parents, we're wanting to get away from it. You want to welcome it and invite it in as a chance to learn, adapt and become stronger. Now, of all the strategies that I'm going to share with you today, this, to me, is the most important. The solo journey, as you know, is one long challenge to either set you up or set you back, and it's really all in how you view it and pursue it.
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Now listen, in his book Man's Search for Meaning, viktor Frankl, a prisoner in the Nazi concentration camps during World War II, chronicling his experiences as and describing his psychotherapeutic method that's a long word which involved identifying a purpose to each person's life through one of three ways One, the completion of tasks. Two, caring for another person. Or three, finding meaning by facing suffering with dignity. Frankl now listen to this observed that among the fellow inmates in the concentration camp, those who survived were able to connect with a purpose in life to feel positive about, and who then immerse themselves in imagining that purpose in their own way, such as conversing with an imaginary loved one, an imagined let me get that right loved one. According to Frankl, the way a prisoner imagined the future affected his longevity. Now you talk about challenges.
Speaker 1:
In 1942, just nine months after his marriage, frankl and his family. They were sent to Anakant-Therestandestat concentration camp I don't even know how to say that. His father died there of starvation and pneumonia. Then, in 1944, frankl and the surviving members of his family were now transported to Auschwitz, where his mother and brother were murdered in the gas chambers. His wife, tilly, later died of typhus. Frankel spent three years in four concentration camps. But check this out. Following the war, he did survive. He became head of the neurology department of the General Psycho no, let me get that right the General Polyclinic in Vienna Hospital and established a private practice in his home. He worked with patients until his retirement in 1970.
Speaker 1:
Ladies, if that doesn't inspire you, I don't know what else is. If he can do it, so can you. Number four develop resilience. Cultivate resilience by reframing setbacks as temporary and solvable. It's all in reframing it to get to see a different picture. Practice self-compassion and acknowledge your efforts, while also learning from failures to improve future outcomes. Number five find purpose and passion. Connect deeply with your goals and find meaning in the work you do. Just suck the juiciness out of it. When you have a strong sense of purpose and passion, guess what? You're more likely to persevere through difficulties and stay motivated.
Speaker 1:
Number six build self-control. Develop self-discipline and self-control to stay focused on the long-term goal or standard even when faced with distractions or immediate gratification temptations. And here's where consistency comes in play. You want to practice delaying gratification and managing impulses effectively. To practice delaying gratification and managing impulses effectively Now. This is a must and it is a step that you don't want to skip, nor skip teaching your kids, because you know we are growing up in a society and a culture of immediate gratification. And you know whether you're baking a cake, growing a garden, reshaping your figure. You know, and reshaping your figure, you know you don't see the change right away, as the gratification is delayed, but it is developing. You are developing. You want to teach it, preach it, walk it out and you will reach it.
Speaker 1:
Seven seek support and mentorship. Surround yourself with supportive and truth-seeking individuals who encourage your growth and offer guidance. Seek mentorship from those who have demonstrated grit and can provide insight and advice. That is why you will hear me time and time again on each podcast promoting the Shepherds Village University, any of our blogs and especially our in-person it's a Single Mom Thing classes, as you are surrounded by a community and in unity with other single moms, with some that are a step before you, some that are behind you and some that are right there with you in the grit. Number eight practice positive self-talk. Foster a positive internal dialogue that reinforces your strengths, capabilities and progress. You know your chatter matters, so challenge negative thoughts and beliefs that undermine your confidence and perseverance and ask where did that come from? And then reword it.
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Number nine celebrate progress. Acknowledge and celebrate milestones, no matter how small, recognizing your achievements. You know what it does. It actually boosts your morale and sustains motivation for continued effort. But you know what? It is the one thing that I think we do less of. We're always celebrating and having a party for things that we do wrong, but why don't we ever celebrate our progress, our success and when we do things right or even well? Now I want to let this one sink in a bit, as I'm springboarding after that thought, acknowledging your efforts and your outcomes, I don't know, even if they seem small. Now, to me and I'm speaking to the choir here now, listen in completing my first children's book, a thought I used to think was never possible became possible. It was a dream that now is part of my reality. I mean, I really, really, really need to let that sink in and celebrate it, to have it become part of my new DNA and resilience plan to move me up and on to the next goal. So how many times do we have a huge victory and never celebrate it? We just move on. We must actually, I think, pause for that cause, for really for it to not only celebrate it, for it to really have an effect, changing our affect for a filling for future, an effect changing our affect for a feeling for future. Give yourself permission to sit this one out and let that celebration sink in.
Speaker 1:
And number 10, reflect and learn Regularly. Reflect on your experiences, your successes and challenges. Identify lessons learned, learned, areas for improvement and adjustments needed in your approach to strengthen your grit over time. As I close and here is a pro tip allow yourself to get disturbed in this disturbing season. Remember you're expanding your comfort zone by stepping into the discomfort zone. So if you're having challenging thoughts of I don't know, I can't, it's for someone else, I'm scared, guess what. You're right where you are supposed to be.
Speaker 1:
Think about it. Think about it like, let's say, a new pair of leather shoes you just bought for yourself I don't know who buys leather shoes but let's just say, a pair of patent leather shoes. You're wearing something new and it feels uncomfortable. Until you break them in right, you may even get a blister. Grit is breaking yourself in for breakthroughs. Once you break those shoes in, they become easier to walk in, they get comfortable, they conform to your feet and then they will take you anywhere you want to go. Wherever your attention goes, your energy and your feet will go as well.
Speaker 1:
I promise you this season isn't forever, ladies, but your reasons why you can't succeed in this season, those can last forever. Do you want those thoughts to win or do you want to get a grit? So get gritty with some single moms at our next. It's a Single Mom Thing class and support group for those that live in the Tampa Bay area on Tuesday, june 9th, from 6 to 8 pm with our executive director, april McKnight, who will be speaking on co-parenting. To sign up and save your seat today. Go to wwwshepherdsvillagecom. Forward slash classes.
Speaker 1:
Having a hard time getting some grit, need some prayer? We care about you. Call us at 822-855-PRAY, day or night. Have you got a grit? I'd love to hear about it. Send me a text. Go to the description right now and in the description section, click send Sherry a text. Are you enjoying our single mom success series? Join us next week, as I have my gal pal April Nightback and her daughter, as promised. You won't want to miss it, as I have no idea where this conversation will go, but I know that it will definitely grow us as we hear what single mom success sounds like and looks like from the lens of a child of divorce. Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you. Thanks for listening to it's a Single Mom Thing. I hope you enjoyed our time together. If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer, visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom. Backslash prayer For more information and resources. Check out our show notes.
