Dawn Jackson | Uncovering My Inner Light Through Divorce Death and Career Change

In this second heartfelt episode of Grieving Voices Season 5, I welcomed Dawn Michele Jackson, a multifaceted healer specializing in grief recovery. Dawn shares her personal journey through divorce and how it led her to the path of healing not just herself but others as well. With a background in nursing and now a self-published author, she discusses the importance of finding one's inner light post-trauma and transforming from merely surviving to thriving.

Dawn emphasizes that grief is more than just about death; it encompasses all forms of loss, including divorce, which was a significant turning point for her. She candidly speaks about the initial devastation following her separation at age 30 with a 3 1/2-year-old in tow and how choosing to heal allowed her to rediscover herself beyond being a mom, nurse, and wife.

This conversation delves into the complexities of co-parenting after divorce, particularly when shared children are involved. Dawn reflects on how adopting the Grief Recovery Method helped transform resentment into gratitude towards her ex-husband—ultimately leading to peaceful relations.

If you are new to grieving concepts, you will find value in Dawn’s explanation of cumulative grief and its negative impacts on life if left unaddressed. She advocates for using tools like the Grief Recovery Method as an evidence-based means for achieving emotional liberation from past hurts.

Adding depth to our discussion, we explore how parental influences shape our perceptions around marriage stability and coping with familial changes during adulthood.

Lastly, drawing parallels between professional burnout in healthcare settings due to emotional strain versus physical ailments among patients leads Dawn down memory lane—from leaving nursing after 30 years toward embracing full-time work with clients seeking solace from their own grief journeys.

Key takeaways include:

• The universality of grief beyond death-related losses
• Personal growth through adversity
• The transformative power of healing modalities like the Grief Recovery Method
• Encouragement for listeners facing similar challenges
• Inspiration derived from making bold life choices aligned with personal values

This episode serves as both an inspiration for those grappling with loss and guidance on accessing tools necessary for genuine recovery.

RESOURCES:

• Website
• Books

CONNECT:

• Facebook
• YouTube
• LinkedIn

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Transcript

Victoria Volk: Welcome. Welcome to another episode of grieving voices. Thank you for tuning in. Today, my guest is Dawn Michele Jackson. She is an advanced grief recovery method specialist, an infinite possibilities trainer, women's retreat facilitator, nurse, and an Amazon best selling author. And her primary focus is to guide individuals through healing their hearts transforming their lives and rediscovering joy. She is driven by her profound mission and is dedicated to helping individuals uncover their inner light and shift from surviving to thriving. With her nurturing approach, she skillfully supports her clients in healing their hearts and achieving mind, body, and spirit wellness. Thank you so much for being my guests today, and It's nice to have a fellow advanced brief recovery method specialist on my podcast. It's been a while.

Dawn Jackson: Thank you, Victoria. I'm happy to be here this morning.

Victoria Volk: Both of us have the same mission, helping people heal their hearts, that we know it's possible regardless of what you've been through. And today, you're here to share your personal story of going through a divorce. But there's always more than that. Right? Because grief is cumulative and cumulatively negative as you and I both know.
But let's start there. What brought you to grief recovery?

Dawn Jackson: So what brought me to grief recovery is I had done after my divorce at the age of thirty. My world kind of fell apart. You know, I had that white picket fence dream, and it was shattered. And I had a three and a half year old son. I didn't really know how to move forward. So I realized that I could choose two things. I could continue to be angry about my husband decided he wanted a divorce or I could choose to heal and move forward. So I had done all kinds of workshops and retreats, you know, to try and heal the things that were hurting me. And not all of them provided a little bit of relief. None of them helped me feel completely better to the point of moving forward in a direction that I felt like I was thriving. And then I came across the grief recovery method. My mom had done the program and become a specialist and she referred me and my significant other to the method and he actually signed me up And at the time he did, I said to him. And I always laugh about this. I don't have any grief. Because in my mind, grief was about death. Right? And I had lost a grandparent, but I didn't have anybody else really close that had died. So that's kind of the joke because I quickly learned within the first hour of the training that I was suffering a great deal of grief from things that it happened for my entire life. So my divorce is one of the first relationship I decided to work on and heal because I knew that to be, you know, an effective parent, I needed to you know, let go of some of the pain that was keeping me stuck.

Victoria Volk: And did you say your significant your husband at the time signed you up?

Dawn Jackson: No. My said no. So my husband I were divorced, but my son Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah.

Victoria Volk: Okay. And how has that relationship changed and shifted since you've gone through this method because you share a child, right? You still have to have some communication, I imagine, and

Dawn Jackson: So our son is now an adult and he's twenty six years old. So I guess what changed for me is that I began to see our divorce is really a gift in my life because when we got divorced, I didn't know who I was. I was a mom, I was a nurse, and I was a wife, but I had put so much focus on all of those that I didn't really even know what I like to do, you know, for, you know, extracurricular activities. So for me, It helped me find myself again. My husband leaving was my catalyst for healing finding my authentic self, being able to create the life that I wanted. And at some point, I was able to go back to him and just be instead of angry, I found this peace inside and actually so much gratitude for him, for our marriage, for our child having a child together and for the divorce. And so I think that it's allowed us to have a healthy relationship and I see that he also has a lot of gratitude for me. So I think that me changing, me healing, you know, has made it comfortable circle so that we can have a good relationship. And while we rarely talk to each other since our child is now an adult, during those years when he was growing up, it really helped us navigate our relationship smoother.

Victoria Volk: For those listening that this might be the first episode they stumble upon and maybe you're hearing about grief recovery for the first time because I try and talk about it a lot through my episodes, but can you just share a little bit about what grief recovery is in your perspective? And, yeah, Yeah.

Dawn Jackson: So a great recovery is it's an evidence based tool to help people move from a place of pain and just barely surviving to actually some recovery, which means being able to while you still have the memories associated with some type of loss in your life, you can move forward with the good memories versus having the pain in your heart that you continue to carry forward in everything you do because all the pain leaves us at a disadvantage in all of our relationships because we bring it forward. It's kind of like if we can all think about our first love way back when probably we were a teenager. And our heart was completely open with that person. And then we got because most of us are not with our first love. So you get hurt. And then the next relationship you go into, your heart is a little less open. So that a closed heart creates problems in the relationship because we don't show up in the same way. And then we have another person who's had past relationships and their hearts a little bit close too. So by going through the act and the tools of the grief recovery method, we're able to let go of some of that stuff that we're holding on to that keeps us from being able to have the types of relationships and really the life that we dream about.

Victoria Volk: I say too, like for me personally going through grief recovery myself, it really made me a much more present and emotionally evolved parent I would say, like, I a better version of myself as a parent, I think, came as a result of going through grief recovery, would you agree that that was your experience too?

Dawn Jackson: Oh, I would totally agree. Because there was so much stuff that was kind of keeping me stuck, holding me back from being the best version of myself. That once I was able to do so much healing, I was able to show up in different ways for my child that I hadn't been able to in the past. I mean, I remember right after my divorce for, like, months. I had a hard time just getting through each day. It was like, I knew I had to get up. I knew I had to take care of my child. But I was always looking forward to when do I get to go to sleep. I know I had nothing to do with my child. I just was so stuck in the grief of I failed marriage and feeling like I was a failure that I didn't know how to navigate you know, being a single parent and I thought that he wasn't in the picture. He was always in the picture. But just, you know, day to day not having him in the house anymore. And just navigating, you know, everything with my child without another person, you know, around was very difficult for me. So it took quite some time for me to figure out how to take steps in my life. To move forward and how to find that happiness again.

Victoria Volk: When you're first going through the divorce in your relationship with your spouse at the time? Did you have a lot of your own friendships outside of the marriage? Like, girlfriends and things? Or was it where most of your friends, like, shared friends with him? And I what I hear a lot from women who have experienced divorce that come on my podcast, it's, you know, it's like you have your your together friends. And then when that relationship falls, you know, comes apart and you divorce, you lose a lot of people. In your list because of it? And was that your experience as well?

Dawn Jackson: So our closest friends were a couple that we hung out with all the time. So that was very, very difficult. And in fact, she was the one that I talked to almost every night, you know, crying wishing that something would change, wishing that he would change his mind, that we could stay together. And I know that was very difficult for her as well because we couldn't do all those couple things together. So it was a loss for all four of us. Right? And then later they ended up divorced as well. So, you know, it was heartbreaking really because we were also close. We'd go on trips together and spend weekends together or kids were the same age, so they grew up together. So yes, I can relate to that. Luckily, since I was a nurse, I had lots of friends at work, and they really picked me up. And I remember they said, okay, well, we're gonna go hiking this weekend, and I said, oh, I can't do that. How long how far are you gonna go? Oh, five miles? Oh, I can't do that. And the joke is we decided to go on the hike. I agreed And, like, I was way ahead of them on the trail, and so they remind me of that to this day, but it was really those friends that were able to help me get through the time because they could see how sad I was and, you know, that I just didn't know what to do with my life, having lost. One of the most important people in my life.

Victoria Volk: You'd mentioned that your mom had gone through the method herself did she become certified as well?

Dawn Jackson: She did. Mainly, she did it for herself. She didn't end up, you know, working with clients or anything, but she definitely gained a lot from the experience. So she was the one, the proponent of, you know, me going and checking out the program, seeing how it would help me because it had created such a change in her life.

Victoria Volk: And what drew her to to the method?

Dawn Jackson: I think, you know, just stuff from her past, from her childhood, that she and I don't remember how she found it, but she just wanted to feel different. She just wanted to feel better. And you know, she I always grew up with dogs, two golden retrievers, and she'd lost so many of them, you know, by the time I became an adult. And that was just heartbreaking for her. So I think that was another reason that attracted her to the grief recovery method because she just wanted to find some peace and ability to move forward because it weighed so heavily on her heart.

Victoria Volk: Had she also been with your father when he had passed? Like, were they still together? No.

Dawn Jackson: They were no longer together. So they got divorced about the same age as my husband I got divorced. Like, my son was about three and a half, and I was about three and a half when my parents divorced as well.

Victoria Volk: Okay. So not only are you going through your own divorce, but it's compounded by the divorce of your parents.

Dawn Jackson: Correct.

Victoria Volk: Yes. And you're an adult at this point. And that can be You know what I mean? Like, it's one thing to once you're an adult in your parents divorce, I think there's a whole different it's so many different layers to that. Can you speak to that a little bit? How that maybe influenced how you felt about your divorce or what that was like, experiencing that from the perspective of a child? Mhmm. And as the person going through it.

Dawn Jackson: So I think, you know, probably a lot of people think this way, you know, when their parents divorce, when their young children, they think about their future and their partner, and they never want to go through a divorce. Right? Because they've experienced it and it doesn't feel good. And while it worked out best for my mom and my dad, there was just part of me that always had wished they had stayed together, you know, that it had worked out in some way. So for me, you know, I had wanted so badly for my marriage to stay intact and then it didn't. So that was pretty heartbreaking. I yeah. I definitely think that that added to my grief.

Victoria Volk: And maybe how you looked at your son. Right? And because you're grieving I mean, am am I wrong to say that you were a grieving child, an adult child?

Dawn Jackson: Correct. Yeah. No. I would definitely say that I was. There were so many things, you know, about my childhood. I mean, you know, my mother was wonderful. She was always there for me. But there was just things about it like my parents divorce and, you know, both of them remarried and those things while they did provide a lot of happiness. There was also sadness because it wasn't the intact family that I had hoped for. And then when I couldn't give that to my son.
You know, I felt like failure.

Victoria Volk: Since you went through grief recovery and you've been working with clients, what are some of the things in going through the divorce that you share from your experience with the people that you work with.

Dawn Jackson: You know, I always share with people really how I felt right when it happened because what I notice is so many people don't talk about it. You know, how devastated they are and how much their life feels like it's been turned upside down and those days of not wanting to get out of bed and, you know, just wishing the hours away. I always share that with people because it's I usually get a response, oh my gosh, like, I've felt that way before. Like, I just didn't know how to know how to move on. Because unfortunately in society, you know, we're just expected to keep moving forward. Keep busy, you know, one of the myths. And it's kinda like when we go through a death. Right? We get usually the one or two days off of work and that's it and we're expected to come back and just be normal again. Well, it's really no difference with divorce. I mean, divorce is a death too. Right? But a couple days, we don't just feel better. You know, it's just a reminder every single day when we wake up and we're alone. That our marriage didn't work out. And so I always share my personal stories about, you know, the way that I felt after my divorce and, you know, navigating being a mom as well, a single mom and the difficulties behind that.

Victoria Volk: Before we started to record you had shared about your father passing. And at that point, you had already been a certified grief specialist, advanced specialist. Is that correct?

Dawn Jackson: Yeah. Yeah.

Victoria Volk: So how having the tools now in your toolbox versus not having them before until you did. How was that experience? Did you find that that was your ability to cope and move through that? Grief different now that you had the tools?

Dawn Jackson: You know, when I went through my divorce, I really didn't have any tools. I mean, I had some. Right? But I hadn't really started my healing journey. So all I knew was I was angry, I was sad, I didn't know how to move forward. I thought I would never feel better. And you know, when I lost my dad, while I still had some of the same emotions, I knew that I had some tools that when I chose to use them would help me move forward and feel better. So there was hope. Right? Because I knew that I wasn't stuck forever. And, you know, like, I always remind my clients because we do the work when we're ready. Right? It's not like something happens in the next day, we do the healing work. It usually takes a little bit of time before we're ready. And I always remind people that when it's the right time, you know, you will do the work, but just make sure that you're still willing to do it. Right? Because you know you have these tools. So you need to step into them when you're ready. So like I said, it gave me hope. You know, after I lost my dad because that was pretty devastating to me as well. But I knew that I had a way out of the pain. So I was grateful that I had learned the grief recovery method before he died.

Victoria Volk: I think it's one thing to have someone in our life who we look up to and value their opinions, such as our mother who suggests something that you know, and we and when we witness it changing their life. Right? It's I think it's easier to buy in to Right. Something. Right? So it was easier for you to buy into the grief recovery method because you had seen how it helped your mother and changed her life. Mhmm. So for those listening who have or hearing about Great Recovery for the first time who, you know, when we say, yes, you need to be ready to do the work. It also takes courage. You might not be ready. You know, you might not be ready, but you don't get ready by not putting your shoes on. And taking action to do the work. Yes. You get ready by getting ready. You know?

Dawn Jackson: Right. No. Yeah. You totally have to have the courage. You have to make the decision to step through the fear. I mean, like, I have a great example that's going on in my life today. So When I left my nursing job two years ago, I decided one of the things I wanted to do was try backpacking because my son has been going backpacking since he was a teenager. And so I decided to go on a backpacking trip with them. So fast forward, I haven't gone on one since twenty twenty two. And so he called me up last week and said, hey, you wanna go on five day backpacking trip with me. And so, you know, he sends me some information about it, and I'm looking, oh my goodness, the elevation and, you know, the miles we're gonna do and everything. So I'm super excited. And then, you know, the last couple days, I'm, like, have this fear. Like, oh, boy, can I do this? Like, I'm two years older, and it's a lot of miles and how's my back gonna feel? And, you know, so it's a reminder of those things like, we have to choose to step through that fear. We have to choose to have that courage even though we don't know how it's gonna turn out. And I always, you know, ask my clients to have the courage because it is scary to try something new. You know, even if it is something that we think might work to help us heal the pain that we're experiencing. And I noticed like after a few sessions. It's probably halfway through. All of a sudden, I see on people's faces when I'm working with them online. They just look more peaceful. It's amazing. It happens every single time because they're

Victoria Volk: so great.

Dawn Jackson: They're so scared because they don't know what it's going to involve. They don't know what's going to come up. And the work is not easy and I always tell people that but I wouldn't ask you to do something I never did. So I love that reminder that we have to continue even when we have fear to step through that and move forward. Take the steps that we need to take, have the courage so that we can feel better.

Victoria Volk: I often have to remind myself like I don't grow in my comfort zone.

Dawn Jackson: That is so true.

Victoria Volk: Step out of my comfort zone. You know, speaking in front of people, so much fear. Right? Like, there's so much fear speaking in front of people. Like, am I gonna forget what I'm gonna say? I'm gonna stumble over my words. Am I gonna embarrass myself? Like, all these things. Right? But you just you don't grow, you don't get better, you don't it's not practice make makes perfect. It's practice helps you grow. And It does. And you have to practice that courage. Mhmm.

Dawn Jackson: Sorry to get a trip. I am. Yeah. We're leaving happy to be nice.

Victoria Volk: Yeah. Because here's the thing. You know, we we raise our kids for eighteen years. Right? We hope that we've done our job and they leave at eighteen and they start to go on their own adventures and finding themselves and all of this and that and To be asked, I just wanna say this, to be asked by your twenty six year old son. I have a nineteen year old son. But to be asked by your twenty six year old son, mom, Do you want to take this backpacking trip with me for five days? He's asking you, do you want to spend time with me for five days? Mhmm. This I wanna spend time with you for five days. That's what I hear. And I just wanna cry for joy with you. I just wanna cry with joy for you because I would do it just because of that.

Dawn Jackson: Oh, and even if I

Victoria Volk: had zero trading, like, just sign me up. If my son asked me, I would be, like, heck, yes. You might have to pick me up a few times, but heck, yes.

Dawn Jackson: Right. And that's why I do it because for me, like, we since he was a little boy, I was hiking with him. You know, I used to live in about an hour from the Columbia Gorge in Oregon, so we had beautiful waterfalls and hiking trails and I took him hiking all the time. I have tons of pictures, you know. He would be like, how how much farther? And I so I'd have to have all these tree bags. To keep him occupied and he talked the whole time. It was so funny. And so then he grew up and has a love for the wilderness and it he likes to be out as far as he possibly can where there's nobody. Right? And it's a connection that we have. So when I get asked to do something like that, you're exactly right. I'm doing it because I wanna spend time with him. Yeah. It's such a great opportunity

Victoria Volk: because we aren't promised tomorrow.

Dawn Jackson: No. We aren't.

Victoria Volk: And I

Dawn Jackson: mean, the last few years, you know, COVID and everything. I think most of us realize that. And that's another reason why I left my job that I really wasn't happy at because I wanted to help people in a different way. And I wanted to have the time with the people I love to be able to, you know, do the things I wanted to do and, you know, not wait until retirement because I have lost multiple friends. They retired. And then within a few months, they were no longer with us. And so I just decided it's time to live life now, not in ten years from now.

Victoria Volk: It's a great segue. So let's talk more about that because you were a nurse for thirty years. Right? Thirty years. Yes. What was the catalyst for that decision. Like, what made you just hit the word go?

Dawn Jackson: To the

Victoria Volk: safe health. Yeah.

Dawn Jackson: To the safe nursing? Yeah. So I used to live in Portland, Oregon, and that's where most of my nursing was. And the last few years of living there, I just I felt miserable. I mean, I made really good money so I could do most of the things I wanted to do. But there was something missing. Like, once I began my healing journey after my divorce, I realized that there was so much like healing that most people needed that wasn't physical. And what I saw was that the emotional pain was causing physical pain. In my patients. And there's a lack of mental health resources really available to people. It's like, well, we can send you to a therapist, but not everybody wants a therapist. A lot of people want other modalities and insurance doesn't pay for it. And so I became more and more frustrated because I just didn't feel like I was making a difference I wanted to make. So I thought it was the actual job. So when I moved a few hours away, I had a different nursing job. And what I noticed was I didn't feel any better because I was still doing the same thing. I was still telling people we're gonna put you on a new medication. And I wasn't helping them address all the emotional stuff, right, that they'd experienced during their whole life. And it's time I was working with veterans. So veterans are really, you know, specific population, and they've gone through so many things that anybody who's not a veteran really doesn't understand. There's a lot of pain. Yeah. There's a lot of emotions there's a lot of experiences that they don't share with anybody except for their fellow veterans and sometimes they don't even do that. So COVID hit And we were short staffed even more. People were quitting left and right. And we were asked to do more with less. And I was noticing that I kept getting sick I just emotionally wasn't in a good place. I was never sleeping. And my intuition, because I use it quite a bit, was telling me if you don't leave, then you're gonna get sick, like, really sick. And that's gonna be the end of, you know, being able to do the job that you're doing. And so I just sat with it and sat with it and, you know, the universe kept giving me these, like, signs. Like, you need to do this, you need to leave. You need to do something different. You need to follow your passion. And so finally, I just had it. And it was really hard to get to that spot, especially because I was raised that you have the good job, you have the good benefits, you know, and you're super responsible. And so for me to leave, what I was doing, it felt super scary. But it just got to the point where it was too hard to not leave. And so the day I turned in my resignation, I can't even tell you how different I felt. Like my life felt completely changed. I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders. I felt probably physically better than I had in a long time. You know, and of course, they said to me, well, how about we let you go part time? And I said, you know, I've asked for the last year and a half to go part time. And you've denied it. So no. Well, can you stay for a few more weeks? And I said, no. And I said, well, why not? I said because I'm going back back in with my son, well, can't you put that off? And I said, no. So for me, it was like too little, too late. Like, it was time for me to take care of me. I've spent my life taking care of other people. You know, nurses, moms, women were caregivers. And so for me to choose me was difficult and yet it was the best choice I've ever made in my life.

Victoria Volk: What did you go to after you signed put in your resignation?

Dawn Jackson: So then I spent three months not doing anything except for taking care of me, and I would sleep till like ten or eleven, which I can't do that now. I always wake up at, like, seven thirty just my body does, but I was so tired. That's how exhausted I was. Emotionally, depleted, physically depleted. I felt like my soul had just dried up. So that's what I did for the first three months. I went back back in with my son. To cure me. And then at the end of the year, I started figuring out what I was gonna do. So I decided to get my advanced brief recovery method certification. So that I could do the work online. And then I started planning some retreats, so I do women's retreats as well. And I finished writing my first book. So it's yeah. It's my life has just turned around in so many ways. I'm I feel so full of joy now every single day. Versus it used to be just drudgery going to work because I didn't feel like I was making the difference that I wanted to make.

Victoria Volk: I love that for you. And I what I wanna share with listeners is that, on par with what you said, my life changed when and I it sounds like for you too, like, grief recovery was the catalyst for you coming into yourself for you to become empowered in your decisions and your path forward, I feel the same way, like, everything that I've accomplished, like, you know, certifications and different trainings and working with grievers and energy healing work. Like, all of it was after I went through grief recovery Mhmm. Than the past going on six years. So it's a catalyst for change. It's not just to feel better for a short period of time, like we often resort to alcohol or drugs or relationships or shopping or gambling, you know, these herbs that you and I know about short term energy relieving behaviors. Speaking of which, What were your nerves while you were going through? What sounds like to me was burnout in your nursing career? How were you coping with that?

Dawn Jackson: I would say, well, during COVID, I mean, I think a lot of people can relate to this, like, you know, we thought the world was ending in an we didn't know what to expect. So, you know, it was, oh, have that glass of wine every night. You know, and after a while, I was like, okay, this isn't good. You know, I because I don't typically drink like that, but that was one of them. And you know, it was coming on from work and having that glass of wine, keeping busy, I would say, you know, social media, like scrolling the news feed, Those were my big ones. I'm trying to think back. Yeah. Those were I would say my two big ones. I was, you know, I was so tired from work that I felt like I didn't have time to do any of the things that I really wanted to do as just exhausted. So, like, you know, where I had moved a few years ago to some place that's beautiful. It's like in the mountains. We have so many trees and rivers and lakes. I'd love to hike. I wasn't doing any of that. I wasn't exercising. So probably food a little bit too. Because when I quit my job, I weighed, like, probably ten pounds more than I've ever weighed, and I'm a pretty short person. So you know, for me to gain that much weight, typically, I don't really gain weight easily so that I knew that yeah, I wasn't in a good space emotionally.

Victoria Volk: And it sounds like I think a lot of people go through this especially after you've been doing something for so many years, you know, it's like a depression. Right? It's you're you're depressed.

Dawn Jackson: Yeah. One of the things that I'll share this, the grief recovery method helped me with was, you know, although I left my job And I was happy about that. There was a really painful few weeks months because all those coworkers have become my friends. You know, they were my tribe. They got me through COVID and all the difficulties that came along with that. I mean, every time we walked into work, there was oh, we have to change this protocol, we have to change that, and so to leave all those people and knowing I was leaving them, even shorter staffed was really difficult for me, but the grief recovery method helped me with being able to make sure that I was complete in all those relationships. So Like, I went around and talked to all the people I was close to before I even put my notice in. And I told them why I was leaving. I told them what they meant to me. How important our relationship had been. How grateful I was for them. And you know not one person said to me, I can't believe you're quitting. Everybody said, I'm so glad that you're taking care of yourself. Because I told them why I was doing it. It wasn't that I just really dislike this job. It was that I needed to take care of me. That was most important to me at this time, that time. And so it helped me leave that job and not feel like there were all these loose ends because I was able to communicate with all the people that were important to me.

Victoria Volk: What I also hear is that your why for quitting was much stronger than your fear.

Dawn Jackson: Yes. It was. Because I knew that I was getting the point I didn't have a choice because the universe kept giving me these signs. And the fact that I kept getting sick and I couldn't sleep and, you know, I just did not feel like I was surviving were big enough for me. It was what I noticed now too is, you know, I used to just get these really nice paychecks And while they meant something to me, not like my pay today, you know, when I'm working with a client, you know, a hundred dollars means more than thousand dollars she used to because I feel like I'm really making a difference. I noticed the transformation in people's lives.

Victoria Volk: So what do you say to people who just doubtful that grief recovery can help them?

Dawn Jackson: So, you know, we always talk about what they've tried and, you know, I always tell them my stories. About how it's helped me move forward. I've talked to them about their reservations. You know, oftentimes it's money. But I also thank a lot of it's fear. Like, they don't know that this is gonna work. And so, you know, I always remind them that they deserve to live a better life than what they're experiencing at the time. And that unless they, you know, take a step to move forward and to heal their heart, they're gonna stay stuck in that same place. But I'm also very aware of, like we talked about earlier, that someone also needs to be ready. They need to choose to step into something. And so, you know, I give them a lot of space. You know, and I have people tell me, oh, I've been following you for like a year. And I've been reading your stuff and I keep clicking on your calendar link for a discovery call. And then they finally get to the point. They finally have that courage to do it because I want them to have that courage versus feeling like they're being pushed into something. Because I as you know, we want them to show up fully. Because that's the only way they're gonna really heal.

Victoria Volk: Yeah. You can't you can't half ass this.

Dawn Jackson: No. You cannot.

Victoria Volk: You can't. You can't.

Dawn Jackson: No. It doesn't work.

Victoria Volk: Yeah. Because, you know, as you know, it's like you get into, like, weeks four to five, you know, it you know, they even tell us, like, you know, especially if you do in person work or groups or whatever, hey, you know, you warn them, like, you're gonna wanna not put your shoes on and walk out that door. But, you know, that's the time you need to. Dig within yourself and Mhmm. Find that courage to push through.

Dawn Jackson: Yeah. It's hard. I mean, In some ways, I'm grateful I did it in the certification training, right, versus, like, seven weeks. Same? Because I wasn't going to be leaving the certification training because that's dummy. If I start something, I'm going to finish it. Right? So it, like, forced me to continue going through the process, which was really painful at the time, but you know, I wish I could I wish that there was some way to relay to people, like, yes, going through the process can be difficult, but when you get to the other end, the feeling is amazing. Like, not always right away, but you start noticing how your life is changing, how you feel differently. And there's such a freedom to that.

Victoria Volk: I would like us to share our own personal experiences of going through this method, which is possible in the two day workshop, which Yes. Neither of us are trained to do. Correct? Correct. Yep. So we went through the certification, and that's a four day process. So, basically, we're kinda going through the two day workshop that's available only from certain trainers through Discovery Institute. But can you please share your personal experience of going through the training and the program itself?

Dawn Jackson: So like I said, when I first ended up at the training, I didn't think I had any grief. And within about an hour, I realized that there were a lot of things in my life that were grieving events. So first, it was difficult to look at that. I mean, it wasn't that I never thought about those things I did, but when you think about them all together, one day, you know, it's like, wow, I've been through a lot. And I think most people realize that. We're not born and then we don't have any of these grieving experiences. We all have them. There's, you know, people always think about death. There's deaths. There's the time that you went to school when, you know, maybe your best friend was mean to you. They bullied you. You know, even those little things, those stick with us because they create some of our belief systems we have about ourselves, you know, even happy things like having a child that can be a grievance experience as well because it completely changes our life. Like, you know, you're happy. You're having a child, but then you go home and you're like, oh my gosh. I can't even go to the store, right, by myself. So all those things, you know, came up for me you know, the experiences in my life, the relationships that I had that were less than what I'd hoped for, and all the hopes dreams and expectations that I'd had that didn't happen in my life. So it was overwhelming at first, but I think as the days went by, I just realized I am in the right place to heel, and this is such a supportive environment. And I'm gonna come out on the other side. Like, I started to realize Like, this is going to change my life. This is amazing work. So that was kind of my experience. And then, you know, for a while after I became certified it didn't really do anything with it except I did do my own work. I mean, I think, to this day, I've done, like, twenty different relationships in my life. And I notice every time I do one, like, how significantly my life changes and I notice it in my relationships too because we all know relationships aren't easy. Any type of relationship, they can be a struggle at times. But doing this work keeps me in a space where I can continue to learn and to grow and work together with someone versus wanting to just walk away.

Victoria Volk: I physically got sick. At my at my training. Like so I went down I flew down to Texas for mine. Okay. So it's like, I think of it as the version of me that was on that plane going down there was not the same me that came back. And like, I've it was, you know, thirty plus years of grief that I had none you know, had stuff down and pushed down and so much anger and resentment and all this stuff was coming up. But I physically, like, both ends And and I came to that class. I was bound and determined and good for me that I had actually read the book before even going. Because yeah. I not because I'd actually tried to DIY this before I went to that certification, like,

Dawn Jackson: yeah.

Victoria Volk: I can learn this. I don't need somebody to walk me through this. I don't yeah. I'm gonna I'm gonna help people. Like, that's why I'm doing this. I wanna help other people. Like, I don't need this. Other people need this. And so I was reading the book and then I'm like, oh, yeah, I think I need this. And had another loss, actually, that came about at the same time. And I was like, yeah, I definitely need this. Mhmm. And Yeah. I was so sick. I Susan was my trainer and she ended up going and getting me drama mean and I was laying on the floor listening to her instruction. And yeah. And it turned out to be training experience for her that she she'll probably never ever have again just the dynamics of the group, which was Mhmm. Really crazy. But, yeah, it was a very is very life changing, just that experience for me. Sandy Derby was there too at the at the same time, and she

Dawn Jackson: was Right.

Victoria Volk: Yeah, she was my ended up being my partner and yeah. It it was an amazing experience for me, but tell you what, if stuff was per it was like the purge before the purge, you know. And so it can I mean, our bodies speak to us?

Dawn Jackson: They do. I hear that story a lot that people get sick. It was, yeah, we're trying to get rid of this stuff, but there's part of us that's, like, Is it safe to get rid of it? No.

Victoria Volk: And a different mechanism for me? Yeah. Can I tell you what? I couldn't just hop on the plane and go I could have gone back home. But like you said, had that, I think, been in a group setting or having, you know, had to go somewhere? I you know, I can see where people would have a hard time sticking it out, but that is where the courage needs to come in and Mhmm. And our responsibility too as the as the specialist and the facilitator to hold people's hands and meet them where they're at and continue to show them the improvement that is happening. Because I think it's hard to see it when you're in it too. Right? Like, oh, I'm a mess. I'm not progressing. Like, this isn't helping, but that Right. That is the work. Exactly. I had a client even say to me. She's like, you know, people always say, you gotta do the work. You gotta do the work. And after she went through this program with me, she was like, I understand now. Mhmm. What the work is. This program is the work. Mhmm. That's what I just

Dawn Jackson: yeah. I love how the certification, like, you you can become certified unless you do your own work because you're right. Like, so many people think, well, this is for somebody else. I mean, I get people to reach out to me all the time and say, oh, my sister really needs this. My mom really needs this.

Victoria Volk: Mhmm.

Dawn Jackson: And, you know, it's really hard because everybody needs this. We're all griefers. We talk about that all the time. Right? Because we've all had grieving events in our life. It's like, we can't even sit down and watch a movie or show at night without seeing all the grief. Because once you know something, you can't unknow it. And I feel sad that there just aren't more programs like this that can really help people move forward, not temporarily, but permanently. You know? And I love this tool because you can use it for anything that's happened in the past and for anything that happens in the future.

Victoria Volk: I've applied this to my relationship with money alcohol, my inner child. Mhmm. You can apply it to your relationship with food. Like, I've applied this in a lot of different ways and aspects of my life, and it's remarkable what comes up.

Dawn Jackson: Oh, yeah. It definitely is. I always know when there's some work I need to do, when some just keeps coming up. It keeps coming up. It keeps coming up. It's like the universe knocking at my door. Hello. When you're gonna do the work, But we know we always have those tools, and that's why I love giving people. It's like, you know, I'm gonna work with you for, you know, seven weeks, but then you're gonna have this tool for the rest of your life and you don't have to come back to me unless you want to, which, you know, from one of my personal stories is I went to a therapist for years after my divorce. And while there were things that helped me with, I don't feel like I ever got any type of the resolution that I've gotten with the grief recovery method. It was like I just kept going back and talking about the same thing over and over and over again. So I love that this program this tool, this method doesn't keep people stuck, you know, continuing to talk about the same thing, like, we're helping you. Get to the point where you don't have to keep talking about all the negative things because we're gonna help you feel better. These tools are gonna help you feel better.

Victoria Volk: And it's like algebra. You know, every lesson builds upon it self, the building on the week before, and towards the end, I think it, you know, starts to click. I mean

Dawn Jackson: Alright. Great.

Victoria Volk: But Hey, algebra. But might not be the best analogy, but it's yeah. That's I think that's how this is so brilliantly made is that it you're always taking just a little bit more of a step forward for the process. I always ask that option. Yeah.

Dawn Jackson: I would agree.

Victoria Volk: And we're empowering people. And I would ask I always ask people like, What has it been costing you to not feel empowered? Yes. What is that costing you?

Dawn Jackson: Yeah, there is so much to helping people feel empowered. Because when people don't feel empowered, they stay small. They seem to call us. Yeah. Exactly.
And they don't put themselves out there, the gifts that they came here to share with others. So, you know, I always think because I'm all about grief and joy and how those go together, for me is, like, If we can heal the grief, we get to the joy. That's exactly what happened in my life. I wouldn't really find that joy because I was so stuck in all the things that had happened that broke my heart. And once I was able to work through that using the grid recovery method, now I'm able to find the joy every day. I mean, every day might not be wonderful but I can always find something that's wonderful in every day.

Victoria Volk: Well, and then you can recognize what it is that, you know, if you start going down this slope of, oh, I'm starting to, you know, be a workaholic or Mhmm. I'm starting to want to drink that glass of wine at the end of the day, like

Dawn Jackson: Right.

Victoria Volk: We're able to recognize that within ourselves. And like you said, you can't unknow it. So You see it in other people.

Dawn Jackson: Oh, yes.

Victoria Volk: You see how people are coping with life. And, yeah, it's grief is all around us.

Dawn Jackson: Hold ends. Yeah. I'm I'm very grateful for the grief recovery lesson. What it allows us to do how it allows us to move forward in life,

Victoria Volk: and it allowed you to write your your book

Dawn Jackson: Yeah. No. I wrote two

Victoria Volk: notes here.

Dawn Jackson: Your book. Yeah. Which I don't have that. So I'd wanted to write a book for years. I have a friend that's a publisher. She helps people self publish books. And she coaches authors, writers. And I'd done a few things for her, some projects but I really wanted to do my own book. And so when I started thinking about leaving my nursing career, I started writing a book, and it's called Journey to Peace and Healing. So I finished it after I left my job and then got it published, but it's really about how to, you know, return to that state of peacefulness of joy of love So I talk about grief. There's a whole chapter in there about grief. It's really reflective journal, so I have each chapter is kind of structured. There's writing, and then there's reflective questions in journaling space. Because I really wanted it to be something that an individual picked up and didn't just read like they looked at their own life. They chose to take steps. To move forward instead of staying stuck where they are. So I was pretty excited when that was published because that was one of my lifelong dreams as well.

Victoria Volk: When I self published mine in twenty seventeen, it's So when you hold the book in your hands, there's just no feeling like it is there.

Dawn Jackson: No. There isn't. It's pretty awesome. We we got.

Victoria Volk: So what does your grief taught you?

Dawn Jackson: I would say my grief has taught me my strength. You know, my ability to overcome to change my life, to be more authentic. Stop me that there's more than just surviving and that I can thrive, that I can have the life that I truly desire to live

Victoria Volk: and that you can do hard things. Yes. Like a five day hike with your son. Right.

Dawn Jackson: Yeah. That's true. And, you know, really that I wanna make the most of each moment. I think for years, I just lived day to day, you know, through the drudgery, I didn't really look forward to much. I didn't see how important it was to make the most of each day, and I feel differently now. You know, I try to make the time for the people I love even if it means I'm not working today. I try to tell people what they mean to me because like you said, life is short. So, yeah, it's taught me a lot. I'm very grateful. I wouldn't be who I am today without all that different events that I've been through that caused me grief.
But now I can see the gifts and the grief.

Victoria Volk: You know, I've been doing this podcast for I'll be starting my fifth year here at the end of the month, and all the conversations that is the theme is that there's gifts in it. And when you're in it and you're listening to you know, podcast episodes like this or people are sharing their stories and you might say, oh, well, I didn't go through something that hard. Like, my grief isn't that difficult or I didn't experience it that I didn't have it that bad or, you know, if we kind of place our grief on a chart, you know, against other people's grief and there is no hierarchy because grief has felt that a hundred percent regardless of who you are and what you've been through and you can't say that one thing is traumatic for this person and it's not for another. It's it's so individual and that's what I think I love about What I think people might see grief recovery as is like this cookie cutter approach. Right?
And it it's not it's couldn't be more it couldn't be further from the truth. It's because grief is so individual, Yes. And this method honors the individuality of your grief. And that's what I love about it. It yeah, it's just it allows your individual grief to be expressed.

Dawn Jackson: Right. And it doesn't compare. I always Yeah. Tell my clients, you know, even if you and I shared the same parent, like say we lost our mom, I don't know how you feel and you don't know how I feel because we had different relationships with her and we're different individuals. We're unique. Our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, are completely unique from one another. So I was trying to remind people that because, yeah, it really bothers me when people compare because they might have you know, had one loss, but they, you know, we're talking to someone who they feel has had a more significant loss. But you're right. Everybody experiences their grief at a hundred percent. So it's really important to recognize that

Victoria Volk: And even too, like like you to your point growing up in the same home and having, you know, the the relationships are individual. And so it's I've seen so many times in the work that I've done with clients, but even people who come on my podcast, it's like, you know, there's so much turmoil within the families because there's this expectation of, well, I feel this way, you should feel this way, Right. That's the same we have the same relate we have the same parent or we have the same father or whatever it was, but the lived experience is so different, you know. And that's Yes. Because the relationship is different. You know, you can be closer to one parent than the other parent and the in fighting that can happen because we just don't accept that all relationships are unique in individual. Mhmm. And that's what this program helps each of us honor within our own lives. And that's what I love about it.

Dawn Jackson: Oh, I would totally agree. I always when I'm working with my clients, you know, not only do I take them through the method, but I also try and provide some education as the program does about how we approach people who are grieving. You know, if we're on the other end of that. And you know, everybody says, wow, I've said some of those unhelpful things. Like, I know how you feel. I've lost my father. And so I always remind people, be gentle with yourself. But one of the best things you can say to someone is, I can't imagine how you feel. Because grievers often don't feel heard. They often feel like we're giving them advice or we're comparing our losses or we're judging And so I just think it's such a great reminder that we never know how somebody else feels. And by saying that, it gives them an opening to express what's going on in their heart without feeling shut down.

Victoria Volk: Is there anything else that you would like to share that you don't feel like you got to?

Dawn Jackson: No, I feel like this has been a great conversation with you. I really appreciate spending this time together.

Victoria Volk: Likewise. And where can people find you if they would like to connect with you?

Dawn Jackson: So my website is don michelle jackson dot com. And then I'm also on Facebook, I'm on LinkedIn. But, yeah, domichel jackson dot com is my URL.

Victoria Volk: One l, by the way? Yes. One l.

Dawn Jackson: Thank you.

Victoria Volk: I figured that out. Really quick. Yeah. And I'll put the link for that in the show notes. But when do you have another retreat coming up?

Dawn Jackson: It looks like October. I'm working on that right now. Securing a house to do it in in central Oregon. So they're usually fairly small, like, up to ten people, ten women because, you know, we lodged together. We spent a few days together. It creates great connection and healing. I used to go to retreats myself, and I just they were so important for me in my process and to have that connection with other women and working on ourselves and empowering each other, so that's why I offer these retreats to other women.

Victoria Volk: And do you bring other modalities into the retreats, or can you share a little how you like, what is offered during these trades?

Dawn Jackson: So we usually look at things like our belief systems. I always talk about grief. Although they don't offer the method because that's something that has to be done over, you know, several weeks. But I do talk about grief. And then, you know, we kind of look at where people are stuck, where they're stuck now and where they want to be in their life and help them create a vision for the future. I usually bring in an another person to help me because it's really fun to have two different perspectives on things. So I changed that up a little bit each time. So I haven't quite planned it, but it's gonna be announced hopefully in the next couple weeks.

Victoria Volk: And you can find all that information on your website as well. Correct?

Dawn Jackson: Correct.

Victoria Volk: Yep. And your book, also the link to your book is on your website.

Dawn Jackson: Both of my books are on my website, and they're also on Amazon. The paper back and the digital version.

Victoria Volk: And on social, you are in social media as well. Yep. Well, thank you so much for sharing in your grief recovery experience with me and my listeners. I always love having other specialists on that you know, we can kind of talk shop a little bit, but also share personal experiences because I have seen this method not only work through the lives of my clients. But when I have people that come on my podcast who have also experienced it, it it's like you just have to experience it. It's kind of hard to describe and explain in a nutshell even. It's I guess in in one word, it'd be transformative.

Dawn Jackson: I would agree.

Victoria Volk: You know, that would that would be the easiest way, I guess, to explain it, but it's such a it's such a big word too. Right? Like, can it really be transformative? Well, yes, it can. Yes.
When you do that

Dawn Jackson: work, Yeah. And the more work you do, the more transformative it is.

Victoria Volk: Exactly. It's you know, I mean, when you continue to, like I said, you know, applied it to my relationship with money and alcohol and various aspects of my life. It's it's amazing what you can uncover and discover about yourself. So

Dawn Jackson: yeah. Well, thank you for having me and really enjoyed this time together, Victoria.

Victoria Volk: My pleasure, and thank you for being my guest. And remember, when you unleash your heart, you unleash your life, much love.