Believe Like A Boss

Mindful of Itchiness (How to Use Discomfort for your Good)

• Nandi Camille • Season 6 • Episode 3

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Ever felt as if a simple shadow of doubt could loom over you like an ominous cloud? Join me, as we navigate the psychological labyrinth of fear and unmask its illusions.

With candid revelations, I dissect those times when our emotions run high—whether it's a spell of irritation or a wave of anxiety—and guide you through transforming these feelings into a compass that points toward personal growth. This episode is an intimate exploration into the corners of our minds, revealing how to turn the moments that make us 'itchy' into opportunities for realignment with our most empowered selves.

Embark on a quest for self-mastery where the only compass you'll need is the power of your thoughts. As your life coach, I share an arsenal of strategies that can shift your mental narrative from self-doubt to self-assurance. With a blend of mindfulness and positive thinking, I'll show you how to take command of the mental terrain that shapes our daily lives.

This episode is a celebration of the autonomy we possess over our mindset, an invitation to curate a life brimming with joy, power, and anticipation. So, if you're ready for a change, let's turn the page together and write a new chapter where you are the undeniable protagonist of your life story. And if you find these insights as transformative as I believe they are, please feel free to share the love with a five-star rating and pass it on to friends in need of a little life coaching magic.

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Speaker 1:

Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host Life Coach, Nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go.

Speaker 2:

Hello, my friends. All right, welcome back to the podcast. I'm so excited to have you back to believe like a boss. I am your host life coach, nandi Camille. Last week we talked about following your fear all the way through. So when you're having a fear thought, when you're going to do something you want to do and all of a sudden fear jumps in your way which, again, your brain's always trying to protect you Happens, right, it's nothing to be surprised about. You're not broken, nothing has gone wrong. Your brain's just doing the brain thing and when that fear comes up, following that fear all the way through. So you can problem solve for that fear, right, instead of allowing the fear to take over, when?

Speaker 2:

I like to tell my clients that it's like a bunny rabbit with a flashlight. You know how we make shadows with a flashlight at nighttime, right, that's what I like to say. Fear is it's a bunny rabbit with a flashlight and you're seeing this big old, scary, I don't know. The bunny is like making a scary, rabbit-y, I don't know shadow monster thing on the wall. You're like, oh my gosh, it's a big, scary thing on the wall and then you turn around, it's actually a cute little bunny that's making a weird like thing, and it's just a little bunny, that's it. That's all fear is. It's just little bunnies, that's it. Easier said than done, though, okay. So at the end of the podcast last week, though, I said to notice the moments in your life, the moments throughout the week where you're feeling frustrated, cranky, anxious, just to notice those moments when you're feeling triggered, right, just to notice them. Here's why Because your thoughts are influencing everything.

Speaker 2:

This podcast is called Believe Like a Boss. Your beliefs are thoughts. You think again and again. That's all. A belief is right. If you believe you can drive a car, it's because you had a thought the first time. I'm going to put my foot on this pedal, I'm going to drive this car, and after hundreds of times of putting your foot on the pedal and driving the car, you have a solid belief that you can drive cars, or you can pour a cup of water, or you can tie your shoes right, because you've had the thought again and again I can tie my shoes, I need to tie my shoes, I can do it right, and then you have a belief right.

Speaker 2:

And so, when we're noticing throughout the week, throughout our life, these moments where we're feeling itchy, frustrated. The reason why I want you to notice what is happening is because there's a thought that's occurring, and it's not that there's a bad thought. Just because you're itchy, just because you're irritated, just because you're feeling frustrated doesn't mean that there is a bad thought. Just because you're itchy, just because you're irritated, just because you're feeling frustrated, it doesn't mean that there is a bad thought. But there is a thought I like to say that is out of alignment with your best self. There is a thought that is not serving you, that is showing up, right. And I say that lightly, though, because sadness, frustration, in itself is not bad. Sometimes we're sad because somebody has passed away or something horrible has happened in the world, right, and so it's not that there's a thought that's not serving us, it's that I'm sad because my grandfather passed away, right, this person is no longer here. That makes me sad. It's not that that thought. I, very lightly, would say that that thought's not serving you. Some coaches might be like that thought's not serving you because it's making you sad, and I would even say that lightly. I wouldn't say that most coaches would even say that All emotions are welcome. A coach might say that, after so many months of feeling sad, that thought they're gone. They're gone, they're gone. If that thought is continuing to make you sad, might no longer serve you, right? If it's perpetuating sadness and you're no longer wanting to feel sad, at that point. You know that's I digress.

Speaker 2:

The point that I'm trying to make is that we it is important to it would serve us to be aware of the thoughts that we're thinking, so that we can pick and choose what thoughts do serve us and which thoughts don't, so we can decide. Do I want to keep thinking this thought again and again? They never pick me for promotions because they like so-and-so better. They never pick me for promotions because they don't think that I'm smart enough. Right, you might be thinking a thought like that. They don't think I'm smart enough. They don't think I'm smart enough. They don't think I'm smart enough. That is not serving you and is leaving you feeling frustrated at work, annoyed at work on a day-to-day basis, right? So if you're trying to unpack, why is it that I hate my job so much? Why is it that I'm feeling so frustrated at work?

Speaker 2:

Take a look at the thoughts that you're thinking while you're there, right? And are they thoughts like? They think that I'm dumb, which is an assumption you're making which we can look at and we can clean that up. Is that actually true? Right? And maybe, if that's the only snag at work, it might be that you actually really enjoy your work and that you're getting bored in your position and that it's time for a promotion, but that you keep thinking the thought they think I'm not smart, right? If it's that, then that's an easy thought to clean up, whereas if you're noticing, you're getting frustrated every single time you're in a meeting because your leadership drones on and on about things that you don't feel are important to the mission or the goals of the company, right, that's something else that then allows if, when we're noticing what's making us itchy, you can then make a decision.

Speaker 2:

Hmm, what do I want to do about this? I get frustrated when I'm in meetings. Do I want to do something to help to entertain myself while I'm in meetings so I don't feel frustrated? Do I want to talk to this higher up, because I have a one-on-one with them once a month about the way that these meetings are conducted, so that they can feel more productive? Or is it that it's time for me to find new work because this is no longer fulfilling me and I don't feel like I have the energy, nor do I have the drive or the desire to talk to anybody about the way the meetings are going or to find a way to better entertain myself during these meetings. I don't really want to solution or create a solution while I'm here. I'm ready to move on. I don't really want to solution or create a solution while I'm here. I'm ready to move on.

Speaker 2:

Right, when we start to pay attention to the things that are making us itchy, we can start to problem solve for them. Right, I'm in this problem solving mood lately of like let's go I don't know if it's because I'm still in birthday energy or what and it's not like the rest of the year. I don't like to create, but I don't recently you all. I like the rest of the year I don't like to create, but I don't recently you all. I really am in this like let's go, what's serving me, what's not, not in a let's go, hustle into the ground kind of way, but like holistically hustle. What do I want? What do I want, what do I not want? How do I know what I want and how do I know what I don't want by paying attention to what lights me up.

Speaker 2:

That's the opposite Paying attention to the moments that I feel lit up, paying attention to the moments where I'm in flow, paying attention to the moments where I'm not paying attention to the clock, what is happening in those moments, so that I can continue to expand that. Conversely, what we're talking about today is what are happening in the moments where I'm feeling itchy, frustrated, anxious, annoyed. Instead of continuing to perpetuate those moments and go through it day to day, just being like oh, this is the way life is, oh, this is just how it is, oh, he's always going to be like that, my life's just always going to be this way. We can't change other people, but we can notice our thoughts and we can either shift our perspective or change our environment. Right, instead of continuing to go through the same itchy things on a day-to-day basis. What can you change? How can you shift?

Speaker 2:

If you're noticing first thing in the morning, you're feeling itchy. As soon as you're waking up in the morning, you're just frustrated, you're just unhappy. When you wake up in the morning, there's again a few different things we can play with. Is it that before you go to bed? What are you doing before you go to bed, right? I really, truly believe that we bring our energy with us into sleep. So if you go to bed irritated, you're bringing that energy with you into the next day Again. Take a 60, leave the rest. Notice this for yourself. Make it a mindfulness observation practice for yourself. This is what I've observed for me. If I go to bed angry, I will wake up with that anger. Right, it doesn't just go away when I go to sleep. I wish it did For me. It does not, right? If I go to bed relaxed, I tend to wake up more relaxed, right.

Speaker 2:

And so if you're waking up feeling frustrated, is it your night routine that we need to check in on? Is it that when you're waking up in the morning, you're just cranky, because the first things you're thinking are I hate my job, I hate my job. Another day, I hate my job. Is it that the thoughts you're thinking in the morning aren't serving you right? And if it's, I hate my job again. We get to go to the question of is it time to shift the way you're showing up in your work? Is it time to shift the teams that you're working on at work? Is Maybe you're waking up with not enough time to do what you need to do in order to feel prepared for the day? Do you need to wake up 15, 20, 30 minutes earlier so you can have a cup of coffee, so you can just stare out the window, so you can journal for yourself, so you can write in your planner, so you can look at your calendar for the day and plan something for yourself at the end of your day? Notice the time throughout your day that you are feeling uncomfortable and notice what thought is creating that discomfort in my body.

Speaker 2:

Right Again, there are circumstances in the world. That's your job, that is your partner, that is the way somebody spoke to you that is selling your coaching package. Those are the circumstances, right, selling something in your business. We have thoughts about these things. We have so many thoughts that are happening throughout the entire day and when we don't catch them, those repeated thoughts become beliefs. Those thoughts are influencing the way that we feel every single day.

Speaker 2:

If you're saying I hate my job, I hate my job, how do you think you're feeling? If you're saying they don't think I'm smart enough, how do you think that you're feeling? If you think, of course I'm going to get out of this. I can't wait until I get this promotion. How do you think you're feeling If you're waking up thinking I don't love my job right now, but I'm learning how to speak up for myself and I'm learning teamwork skills and I'm learning X, y and Z. How is that making you feel Right? And then your feelings, which are so important.

Speaker 2:

Pay attention to your feelings, my friends. They are signals for you. Your feelings are influencing the action you're taking or not taking Right Again, that's why we followed our fear all the way through last time. If your fear says nobody's going to show up and nobody's going to buy anything right From my business or whatever it is, and you just stop at that fear because that's the thought and you're feeling fearful and you don't take action because you keep thinking nobody's going to buy from me, your brain is logical, your brain is so logical. If you truly believe that thought nobody is going to buy from me you are not going to take action. Why would you take action if you truly believe the thought? No one is going to buy from me. Your brain, you are logical, you're logical, so you're not going to waste your time if you truly believe that thought. Right, your feelings are influencing your action and your action is influencing the results you're getting.

Speaker 2:

So that is why we're going to spend some time, my friends, noticing what is making you itchy and what are the thoughts associated to that itchiness, right, so you can start to clean that up a little bit, feel a little bit less itchy on your day-to-day right and make it a practice. Make it a practice that you're mindful you notice on a day-to-day right and make it a practice. Make it a practice that you're mindful, you notice on a day-to-day basis what's irritating you, right? I did this recently, actually, tyler and I were driving Were we driving, I think we were driving and he said something that irritated me and I noticed, I noticed myself feel itchy. I was like, oh, I feel irritated, I feel itchy. Right now he has said something that makes me feel frustrated, that makes me feel out of alignment, that doesn't feel good, right, and so I just kind of I marinated and then I just noticed it. You know, we notice it, awareness without judgment. We're going to notice it without judging it. I wasn't going to judge him for what he said. I wasn't going to judge me for being upset. I was just going to notice the feeling and notice what it was saying. He shouldn't have said this, because it makes me feel blank right and I noticed my expectations. It makes me feel blank right and I notice my expectations Again.

Speaker 2:

Podcast episode for another time, you guys, I am so excited to be back. I've been writing down episodes as they've been coming up, but when we stop and we pause and we notice again, it allows us to respond and not react. When I noticed that I was upset, I was able to notice why I was upset and I was able to notice what my expectations were of him, that in that car ride he broke those expectations in what he said. But I was able to respond instead of react. I want you to be able to respond to your life, not react. I want you to be proactive in your life. I want you to start to notice hmm, this is not serving me. Hmm, this thought is not serving me. Hmm, this environment is not serving me, because I'm noticing that it makes me feel this way. I'm noticing that when I think this thought, I feel this way. I'm noticing that when I'm in this environment, it makes me feel this way. What might I do to proactively shift so that I feel in alignment, so I'm not feeling so itchy. So I'm showing up from a place of power, so I'm a place of well. I guess this is always the way it's going to be.

Speaker 2:

You always have a choice, but for me, I want to be generally excited about my life. I know that life is not about perfection, it's not about happiness all the time. There's no such thing as happiness all of the time. But I do want to enjoy my life. I really truly want to enjoy my friendships. I want to enjoy the environment that I'm in. I want to enjoy the food that I eat. I want to enjoy the experiences that I have. I want to look forward to waking up and having each day.

Speaker 2:

Again, it's not perfect, absolutely not. I have hard days. I have hard days, everybody does. But generally speaking, I don't want to live a life where I'm like, ah, this is just how it is, and you know it's not quite what I want, but it's fine. I want to live a life where it's just fine, right, and so for me, the way that I do that is I notice where I'm itchy, I notice the things that make me uncomfortable.

Speaker 2:

And again, discomfort and itchiness does not inherently mean bad or wrong. It means that there's just something to look at. Let me look at this for a second. Why am I getting itchy right now? Maybe it's just an expectation that I need to clean up on my side. That's it right, and then I feel better. Maybe it is a change of environment. Maybe it is a change in relationship. Maybe it's a shift in mindset.

Speaker 2:

But notice where you're feeling itchy and remember you always have a choice.

Speaker 2:

Your life is a result of your beliefs. Your beliefs are the thoughts you think again and again. You can think a new thought at any time. Instead of thinking they don't think I'm smart enough, you could choose to believe that they do think you're smart enough that it's possible that they could think that you're smart enough that it's possible that you could get the raise that it's possible that your business sells out. You are the master of your mind. Nobody else is in charge of your thoughts but you, and those thoughts are influencing everything, my friend.

Speaker 2:

So check in when you're feeling itchy, is the thought that's cropping up serving you? Would you like to shift it Up to you, as always? Take it with six to you. Leave the rest, my friends. I will see you next week, hey friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it if you give us a five-star rating. Share it with your friends. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey go ahead to nandikamilcom to learn more, or head over to nandikamilasme to sign up for your free discovery call.