Believe Like A Boss

Defining Success

• Nandi Camille • Season 6 • Episode 7

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Ever wondered if the traditional markers of success truly align with what brings you fulfillment?

Join me, Life Coach Nandi Camille, in this empowering episode of Believe Like a Boss as we redefine success from a woman's perspective. In this episode, you'll gain valuable insights from my personal experiences, including hosting an empowerment hike and having enriching dialogues with powerful women. Together, we'll explore the essence of doing meaningful work that sparks joy, securing financial ease to pursue your desires, and nurturing relationships that uplift and support you.

But that's not all—this episode goes beyond conventional wisdom. We'll delve into the importance of integrating fun and spirituality into your daily life, from dance classes to First Friday art events, and women's groups. Reflect on your own definition of success and determine if your life truly aligns with it by taking small, actionable steps towards your goals. Whether it's practical advice on maintaining consistency or exploring support options like coaching, this episode is your guide to creating a life that resonates with your personal aspirations. Tune in, get inspired, and embark on your journey to a fulfilling and successful life.

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Speaker 1:

Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host Life Coach, nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready?

Speaker 2:

Let's go time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go? Hello, hello, hello and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, life coach, nandi Camille.

Speaker 2:

All right, my friends, I was recording in the car, actually I was driving somewhere and all of a sudden this hit my brain, this idea of success and what it means to be successful as a result of recently hosting an empowerment hike, and I started recording this just as something to capture. I was like, okay, I'm going to capture a few thoughts and I'm going to come back and then I'm going to make it into an episode. But it just kept coming out of me and an episode ended up being produced just as I was trying to just think through what it meant to be successful. So, my friends, it's a little bit fuzzy in the background. I am driving, I am recording via my AirPods during it, but hopefully, between the magic mastering and some of the magic I can do behind the scenes with the editing, it's nice and clear for you. But of course, if you have questions, send me an email, hello at nandikamilcom. But this week, my friends, we are diving into what it means most commonly when I'm talking to women, when I'm working with women to be successful. Use this as a mirror for yourself. Check in with yourself as I'm going through these pillars of success. Does it resonate with you, does it not? How might you change it and edit it to be in alignment for you and your lifestyle? I hope you enjoy. Okay, I think it's recording.

Speaker 2:

I've been talking to a lot of women about success lately because it keeps coming up. I want to be successful. I want to be successful, and everybody has a different definition of success, but after talking to so many powerful women, I would say the common theme is this Successful means being able to do meaningful and purposeful work that you enjoy. Not that you enjoy it 100% of the time. Whether you're an entrepreneur or you work for somebody else, there are always going to be tasks and responsibilities that are not as much money, that are tedious, that you just have to do low-hanging fruit right. But generally speaking, part of being successful is doing work that you enjoy, feels meaningful and purposeful. Whatever that is for you Could be painting, could be dancing, could be teaching, could be selling courses it has to feel meaningful and purposeful to you. As a result of that meaningful and purposeful work and maybe some other streams of income.

Speaker 2:

The second thing that I normally hear most often for women is that they want to be able to pay for everything they want with ease. I know that, like just hearing that, our brain can get a little bit dramatic and be like oh, mansions and yachts and private jets. The average woman does not necessarily want a yacht, a jet, any of that stuff. She wants to be able to take care of herself. Again, that means different things to different people. For some people, that's massages. For some people that's nails and facials. For some people, that's just being able to do their seasonal shopping trip four times a year. For some people, it's even less than that, but it's being able to, in whatever way feels best for you, take care of yourself and be able to say yes to whatever it is you want to say yes to. Again, if you want to get a facial massages, you're able to say yes to whatever it is you want to say yes to. Again, if you want to get a facial massages, you're able to say yes to those things. You don't have to say no to them because of money. So it's usually the second thing that comes up for women that I'm working with women that I'm just talking to when it comes to success, when it comes to being your most successful self or when it comes to defining what does it mean to be successful. So usually, meaningful work and being able to say yes to whatever you want to say yes to, conversely, not having to say no to anything because of money those are normally two top pillars for success.

Speaker 2:

The next one that normally comes up pretty often is relationship related, so I'm going to do this twofold, threefold Personal relationships or romantic relationships. It's important Having companionship with somebody who is also forward thinking, well-rounded in that they are responsible as an adult, that they like to explore new things, they're open-minded, they want to help and support you, they are curious about your passions. That usually comes up strong If you don't already have a partner calling in, one that is just as entrepreneurial and hardworking and dedicated to the relationship as you are Don't need to be entrepreneurial in the way that you are, don't need to do the same work that you do. But more often than not, the women that I'm working with, if they are not already in partnerships, are looking for a strong person to be their life companion, to build life with. So that's part one of the relationship.

Speaker 2:

Part two relationships are our friendships. The successful woman and again this is me, commonly speaking, on average, this is what women are asking for Take what's 60, leave the rest. When it comes to, then, our relationships, our friendships, we want to maintain loving friendships with intelligent humans who share an interest with us, who don't judge us, who are open to our ideas, who encourage us, who are also working on themselves. That, specifically, I find especially important for women that I'm working with, that they're wanting in their friendships not just somebody to spend time with, but somebody that also pushes them to be their best self. Not somebody that brings them down, not somebody that complains every single time they get together, not somebody that only talks about themselves when they get together, but a relationship in which there is give and take. That you're reaching out to that friend and that friend reaches out to you. That you check in on that friend and that friend checks in on you. That you are trying to become your very best self and that friend is trying to become their very best self and, as a result, it's like another version of having a power couple. It's just not romantic.

Speaker 2:

Third part of relationships are familiar that when it comes to being their most successful self. The women that I'm working with want to have strong familiar relationships, or peace about them. So the reason why I say that strong familiar relationships being that I want to have a better relationship with my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother, my cousins, my stepbrother, whatever it is. I want to have strong relationships with my immediate family. For some people, that is incredibly painful and they are beyond the point of being able to maintain a healthy relationship with members of their family. So for them, what it means is having peace, having a peace about the way that they've chosen to show up, having peace about not talking to those relatives, maybe ever again, or for a season. So, again, when it comes to relationships, calling in the other half of your power couple, which again, is somebody that is forward-focused, hardworking, cares about you, you'd say the same thing for our friendships. That allows us to feel successful when we feel supported by like-minded people and they don't have to have the exact same ideas. When we say like-minded, it doesn't mean clone. My best friend and I disagree sometimes on things. My sister and I disagree sometimes on things, right, but in a way that is supportive and loving, not judgmental. And again, third is either strengthening, maintaining strong, familiar relationships, or having peace about no longer maintaining that because it is not supporting you in the season of your life where it's unhealthy and, I would say, the last thing that comes up for when women want to be their most successful selves.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to say two things actually. One is fun. There needs to be some element of fun Not that there needs to be, but it is most common that when I'm working with women and they're defining their most successful life, there is an element of fun in there. What is that for you? Is that rooftop dinners? Is that going on a cruise? Is that picnics with your family in the park? Is that joining a local soccer league? What does that mean to you? For me, lately it's been joining a dance class. My friend and I have actually combined two things. I'm maintaining and strengthening one of my friendships and we go to dance, so I get to dance with her, which is so much fun and it also checks my fun box right. Going to dance is just fun for me. So what is that for you? What are the elements of fun for you? That's not the only one for me. I love going to dance.

Speaker 2:

Today is, as I'm recording this, first Friday, and so Tyler and I are going to go to First Friday. What that is in Denver is all the art galleries in these different art districts around Denver open up their galleries. There's snacks, there's music. It's just a lot of fun. There's all these different small businesses and vendors. That is so much fun for us. We look forward to First Friday every month.

Speaker 2:

Your life again for the most of the women that I work with. I'm trying to think of one where that's not a case For all of the women I work with. Fun is necessary. You have to be having fun. We're working hard so we can have fun, and my hope is that in that hard work you are having fun. But if you're not, that is part of the trade-off. You're working hard and maybe doing tedious work, the trade-off being I'm going to be.

Speaker 2:

And the last one I would add is the spirituality piece. Now, this one is not for all of the clients that I work with, but it is for the majority of the women that I work with that when they think about their most successful self, what comes up is a woman that is very strong in their faith, whatever your faith is, if it's general spirituality and your Oracle cards and, you like, your rocks, whatever it is, I'm a hot mix of both, mix of everything. All of the above Praise Christian, an open-minded Christian is what I like to say. I love learning about all different types of religions but that's important to me and it's important to a lot of the women that I work with, that we have a strong spiritual connection and again, that's however that shows up for you. So if that's meditating daily or that's praying daily, or it's going to church once a week or it's going to a women's circle or it's a combination of those, again, I am that human. I like church. I have a women's group that I'm actually going to be joining this Sunday. I love to learn a little bit more about the woo-woo side when it comes to Oracle cards and the rocks and the stones.

Speaker 2:

I'm so curious about everything that when it comes to spirituality and it is important to me personally you need to determine for you what that looks like if it's important to you. But it is important to me and a lot of the women that I work with that we have our spirituality grounds us. It is part of our tool belt that when we are going through turmoil, when we are going through hard seasons in life, when we are feeling frustrated, down, discouraged that, instead of living there, we use our spirituality to help us remember that we are protected, help us remember that we are safe, help us remember that the dreams, wishes, desires placed on our heart were divinely placed there. It's like our motivation when we don't have any. I love the saying faith over fear. That's why, for me, spirituality is important, because for me to be my most successful self, I have to have more faith than I have fear. I have to have more faith in things working out. I have to have more faith and fear and things going well, even when it doesn't look like they're going well. That, for me, makes me my most successful self. What is it for you? You get to determine for you.

Speaker 2:

When I did the empowerment hike just a few weeks ago, being a successful woman came up on every single person's sheet. I had them answer some questions. One was how do you want to be perceived? The One was how do you want to be perceived? The other one was how do you not want to be perceived? Everybody wants to be perceived as successful. I'm not saying that everybody in the world does. I'm saying everybody that I worked with at that empowerment hike, all of those women, all of them wanted to be perceived as successful, and so my offering to you is, first and foremost, determine, define, describe.

Speaker 2:

What does it mean to you to be successful? I've given you some pointers as to what I hear most commonly. Take those and run with it. What does it mean for you to be successful in your relationships? What does it mean for you to be successful in your career? What does it mean for you to be successful in terms of fun? And maybe there's some elements that I didn't hit that also determine our cues for you that you are successful. Take some time. Take five minutes, 10 minutes, get out a piece of paper, put it on an Excel spreadsheet, whatever you need to do to keep it in the space that you will remember to revisit.

Speaker 2:

What does success mean to me? Because here's the thing you might find that you write all this stuff down. Success means I have strong relationships. Success means I have money to pay for massages every month. Success means that I have a really strong partnership or a really strong marriage Fantastic, set it in alignment with what you would determine to be success. And if it's not, this is not a slip or a permission slip to beat yourself up. See, I'm not successful. No, those are your stepping stones. That's why I need it to be somewhere where you can regularly see it, because this allows us to then set the intentions.

Speaker 2:

Okay, if I'm wanting to get massages every single month and I'm making X amount, but I need to be making Y amount to get massages, what might I do? Is it that it's time for me to change jobs? Is it that it's time for me to start a side hustle? Is it that it's time for me to have a conversation with my partner about hey, you know, I'm feeling a little maxed out at work. I'm wanting this for us. What are your thoughts about it? And maybe your partner is excited about that and is up for a raise here soon. And you know, talk about it, right.

Speaker 2:

But what often happens is we don't define what success means. We don't take the time to really describe and explore and write down clearly what it means to us to be successful. And then we go out in the world and the world tells us how to be successful, their definition of success, and then we run and run and chase and chase all these things, and then that's how women end up showing up in my metaphorical office because I coach virtually. That's how they end up in my metaphorical office is because here I have been chasing other people's version of success, and now I'm burnt out, and now I'm disconnected from myself, and now I'm unhappy with what I'm doing because this is not my definition of success. This is my mom's, this is my boss's, this is my cousin's definition of success. This is what I think my fifth grade teacher's definition of success was. And so here I am, chasing somebody else's definition of success, feeling unhappy.

Speaker 2:

So please, my friend, take some time, check in. What does success mean to me? What does it mean for me to be successful and is my life in alignment with my definition of success? If it's not, what first step, what small, first doable step might I take, and what consistent step might I continue to take to get myself a little bit closer and a little bit closer and a little bit closer and a little bit closer to what I define as my most successful self? You can do it. It is possible. The desires that were placed on your heart were placed on your heart. They were for you. Trust them, take the next best step and if you want support my friends, you know where to find me go to nandikamilcom to learn more about coaching, or nandikamilasme to schedule your free discovery talk. I'll see you guys next week.

Speaker 2:

Hey friend if you like this podcast, I would love it if you could give us a five-star rating. Share it with your friends. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey go ahead to nandikamilcom to learn more or head over to nandikamilasme to sign up for your free discovery call.