Believe Like A Boss

In What Ways Are You Living Out of Alignment?

Nandi Camille Season 6 Episode 8

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Have you ever wondered why some people seem to thrive effortlessly while others struggle to find their way? Join me, Life Coach Nandi Camille as we uncover the secrets to achieving success through mindset management, spiritual alignment, and authentic action. This episode is all about the transformative power of mindfulness, helping you appreciate every step toward your goals and savoring the journey rather than just the destination.

We'll explore the critical distinction between your inner voice and external influences, providing practical steps and self-reflection techniques to guide high-achieving women toward trusting themselves and living in true alignment with their desires. Personal revelations about my own life—like neglecting gardening, skipping social media, or struggling with budgeting—serve as poignant examples of how verifying these feelings can ensure our actions align with our values and goals. Through honest self-assessment, you’ll learn how to connect more deeply with your best self and make meaningful adjustments.

This episode is an invitation to face your alignment for success with honesty and self-compassion. We'll discuss the importance of identifying areas where you may have been complacent or avoided taking action, and how embracing the discomfort of change is key to personal growth. Whether it's budgeting, seeking a new job, or any other personal ambition, we'll emphasize that the path to achieving your goals is within you, requiring you to take new actions and embrace new challenges. Stay connected for more insights, and consider one-on-one coaching for personalized support in your journey. Don't forget to rate us five stars and share with friends who could benefit.

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Speaker 1:

Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host Life Coach, nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready?

Speaker 2:

Let's go time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host life coach, dondi Camille. Welcome back, my friends, I'm so excited for another episode.

Speaker 2:

As always, I love to sit and really contemplate what is working, what's not, what's next within myself, within my business, within my relationships with my clients, and really get to the heart of what's getting in our way. What are the tangible things that we can do? We can ask, what are the things that we can put into our tool belt to help us achieve our goals, to help us get through feeling stuck, to help us achieve that next level of excellence? Of course, there's always going to be a new next level. As high achieving women, there is no infamous mountaintop where, once we hit that one, we've made it. The way that we are wired, just as human beings on the planet, but especially for my high achieving women, is that there will always be a new benchmark, right, you're going to get to the top of that mountain, and once you get to the top of that summit, you're going to see a new summit that you want to climb, and that's beautiful, right. And so what I love about mindfulness is that it reminds us to slow down. It reminds us to take in every step of the journey as we're going. It acknowledges that, yes, there will be another mountaintop, so let's take the time to soak in this journey while we're on our way up right the metaphor.

Speaker 2:

I love using that metaphor of hiking and of mountaintops because I use it in so many different ways. In one way I used it with a client, where it was, when she had first gone through a breakup and it felt like she's hiking uphill. I said this is your metaphor. You're hiking uphill and your partner has stopped at this really beautiful scenic place and he does not want to walk with you anymore. This was the metaphor for her breakup. And so you're walking uphill and now you're doing this part of the journey by yourself and you keep looking back to see if he's going to join you. But the reality is is now you're walking on your own and that's a beautiful thing, right? I love hiking as a metaphor. That actually has nothing to do with the episode today, but I just think it's a really great way to emphasize, to illustrate that this is a journey and while we are on our way to whatever summit we're on our way to, to take a moment to take in the flowers around you, take a moment to take in the gravel beneath your feet, the sky above your head. What are the elements? What's going on around you that you can appreciate right now, because it gets us out of this place of I'll be happy when I'll be happy when let's be happy now, regardless of what's going on. And so the question that I wanted to give you all today, as a tool in your tool belt as you are heading towards your next metaphorical summit, is maybe you've been feeling stuck, maybe you've been feeling a little funky and you're just feeling a little bit confused.

Speaker 2:

One of the things that I work on a lot with my clients is discernment. One of the things I've worked on a lot with myself is discernment. Discernment meaning how do I know if it's my voice or the universe's voice? How do I know that this is a voice that is in alignment or out of alignment? How do I know what step to take and what step to not take? And so, at the end of the day, I like to say that I help women trust themselves Truly. That's my job as a life coach. You have all the answers that you need to take. Whatever steps to achieve whatever goals, you have everything within you, and so my job as a coach is to help women remember that, to trust themselves, these inklings in their heart and their spirit.

Speaker 2:

And so the question I want to give you all today is in what ways are you living out of alignment? I think it's a very simple question, but when we practice it, when we ask ourselves this question and we get quiet and we see what comes up, this is a really great way to build your discernment muscle. In what ways are you living out of alignment? So I'm going to give you a few steps for this one question. First and foremost, ask the question what did you notice when I asked you that question? What came up for you? In what ways are you living out of alignment? Again, if you're asking this to yourself, you're saying in what ways am I living out of alignment? And just notice what comes up. What are the answers? What are the whispers that come up as a result of that question? That's where we're going to bring in mindfulness. Again, my running definition of mindfulness is awareness without judgment. So we're going to be aware of whatever comes up when we ask that question without judging it.

Speaker 2:

So I did this question for myself and some of the things that came up for me when I just asked this question, when I said, okay, in what ways am I living out of alignment, the things that came up were I'm not in my garden regularly, I'm not posting regularly, I'm not budgeting the way I used to, I'm not in a regular practice with my spirituality, I'm not speaking to myself with the most kindness and I'm not reading regularly. Those were the things that came up for me when I got quiet, asked myself the question in what ways am I living out of alignment? And the dot dot dot to that dot dot dot is ellipsis. In case you ever wanted to know the technical term of what dot dot dot is, it's an ellipsis. If you were to extend that question, it is in what ways are you living out of alignment with your best self, right?

Speaker 2:

So when you think about your best self that's what I'm talking about when we say aligned when you think about your best self and again, this is your own definition of you at your best how are you showing up in the world, how are you thinking, how are you feeling, how are you taking action when you are at your best. What does that look like? What does that feel like, both on a practical and spiritual and emotional level. Practical level being on the day-to-day basis. When you're feeling your best, are you moving your body? What kinds of foods are you putting in your body? What kinds of relationships do you have, and how do you spend time with those people? Those are all the elements of what it means to be your best self.

Speaker 2:

And, as a result of the action you're taking, how are you feeling? And I would even say previous to the action that you take? How are you feeling when you feel your best? Right, when you are feeling your best, what are the feelings that you're feeling? Is it that you're feeling motivated? Is that you're feeling happy? Is it that you're feeling connected to your vision? How do you feel when you're at your best? Because, again, everything comes down to your thoughts. Your thoughts are influencing the way you feel. Your feelings aren't influencing the action you take, and the action you're taking is influencing the results that you're getting. So it all comes back to our thoughts. That's why we're asking this question If you've been feeling funky, if you've been feeling like you're in a rut, if you've been feeling stuck, ask yourself this question in what ways am I living out of alignment and notice what comes up?

Speaker 2:

Now, when I noticed all of those things that came up, the next thing I like to have people do is pause. You don't always have to verbatim take what comes up, right? Maybe for one of mine it says I'm not posting regularly, right, and so I get to check in. Do I agree with everything that came up? Are these true desires? Do I actually want to post regularly? And again, you get to then define what that means. Is regularly mean once a week, three times a week, on a daily basis, twice a day? You define what that means an alignment. Is that a world pressure or is that something that I actually want? That's the next step. Right, all of these things are going to come up. I should be reading, I should be gardening, I should be exercising All these shoulds. Well, that's usually the form it'll come up in is should, should, should, should, should? There's nothing inherently wrong with a should. You just get to check in. Is this should from me? Is it from my very best self? Does my best self post regularly, exercise regularly? Or is this a worldly pressure? Is this something that I've heard a lot of people say. Is this something that somebody around me has told me to do? But it's not actually an alignment for me. Check in when you ask the question in what ways am I living out of alignment? See what comes up and then verify that everything that came up is actually true.

Speaker 2:

Get rid of the things that are not in alignment. If, for example, posting regularly came up for me but it wasn't in alignment, I might say, okay, cool, where did that come from? Oh well, when I was trying to be a blogger, when I was trying to do this, I felt like I needed to post regularly, but now my goal is to be an author. So really, it's not so much that I need to be posting regularly as much as I need to be writing regularly. So check in for you and your goals. Are the things that came up truly in alignment with where you're going and who you are becoming, or are they old things that you've been carrying with you, or are they pressures from the world that just don't serve you anymore? I want you to check in From there. I want you to take action on the things that came up.

Speaker 2:

So, for me, the first thing that came up for me was I'm not in the garden. That felt out of alignment for me when I think about my very best self. Yes, she has a booming business. Yes, she has clients that she loves to work with, she travels, she enjoys her day-to-day life and she takes care of her garden. That was if you were to ask me. Even I asked Tyler the other day how long have we been in the house? And I said how have we been in the house this summer now for three years? He said it's been four, which is crazy. So if you had asked me four years ago, when we moved into our house, when we bought our home, if gardening was a thing for me, I would have said absolutely not. That was not in alignment with my best self. It wasn't even a thought for me gardening, but now, over the years, I have developed a passion and a love for it. So when I'm not doing it, I do feel out of alignment and there might be a day where that no longer serves me.

Speaker 2:

But right now, being in my garden is a mindfulness practice. It's a time for me to be away from my phone. It's a time for me to connect with nature. It's a time for me to care for something outside of my business. I have a habit of caring for business and I love business, so I'll care for all the different businesses, my content creation and I'm taking pictures and I'm coming up with ideas, and that's all wonderful work. But for me, when I think about my most aligned and well-rounded self, I have passions and hobbies outside of my business, outside of my career, that I enjoy. One of those things is gardening.

Speaker 2:

And so for me, for a really long time for now we're yet in, we're mid-june, going into july here soon, I think tomorrow, the next day, is the first day of summer, and I'm just so excited to garden, to be there, but I've been waiting for weeks and weeks, and weeks at this point because I'm like I need all day, I need a whole day to be in my garden to do it, and so I haven't been in my garden. And so when I asked myself that question, why, in what ways do I feel out of alignment? That was the first thing that came up. Because here I am, waiting for a whole day for me to be in my garden, and I just have not been able to carve that out. And so, literally yesterday. I said enough, I'm tired of feeling out of alignment for this thing. That really doesn't have to take a whole day.

Speaker 2:

If I wanted to do everything at once, it would literally take me a whole day to clean out my backyard, my front yard. I got a lot of work to do, but what I went ahead and did yesterday was I set a timer for 20 minutes. 20 minutes, that was it. I said I can't say it. Hey, s-i-r-i set a timer for 20 minutes, right, and I did on my watch. I got outside without my phone. It was wonderful. It was so much fun and I was able to feel just a little bit more in alignment as a result of taking action on the thing that I said that I wanted to do.

Speaker 2:

So go through that list, get rid of anything that doesn't serve you and then start to take action on the things that do. Don't wait for a whole day. Start taking action on it now. If it's 15 minutes, if it's 20 minutes. I do this with clients regularly. They're like I want to start a business, I want to start a business, I want to start a blog, I want to start posting consistently, but I have to do it all at once, because they see these other wonderful content creators who do it full time, and so then they have a day where they can create all of their content, do all of the recording, write all of their content all at one time. And for a lot of the women that I'm working with, they're working multiple jobs or they're working a full-time job while they're building their business, so it's not necessarily realistic for them to have an entire day to build out all their content for the entire month and so bite-size it.

Speaker 2:

Can I spend 15 minutes in the evening? Can I spend 20 minutes Monday, wednesday, friday working on this? Create a plan that is doable. Check in Is all or nothing thinking? Getting in your way. Reminder all or nothing thinking means I have to do it all at once or I can't do it at all. Where in your life are you applying all or nothing thinking? I catch myself in this all of the time. I will put things off and put things off, and put things off because I'm like I don't have time to do all of it. So then I'm not doing it at all, but then it leaves me feeling out of alignment and then I'm feeling funky and heavy on a day-to-day basis and wondering why I feel so funky because I'm not taking the 15-20 minutes to just take action. I keep saying I need to do it all at once. So check in. Where are you doing that in your own life? Here's the next step Ask yourself this question regularly and take action and check in as you go regularly.

Speaker 2:

And take action and check in as you go right. In what ways am I living out of alignment? Let the answers come up. Get rid of what's not serving you. Take action on what is. You know, my running definition of confidence is that self-trust times consistency. The self-trust is listening to the part of you that says, hey, if you did this, this, this, this and this, I would feel a lot better. It's trusting yourself to lean in, to be like, okay, I'm going to take 15 minutes on this, 30 minutes on that, an hour on this. I'm going to trust myself to take that incremental action right and then check in when you're done taking 15 minutes to do content creation.

Speaker 2:

When you take the 20 minutes to go run the errands, to go drop the thing off at the post office, when you take the 15 minutes to go write that letter that you wanted to write to put in the mail. How are you feeling afterwards as a result? Right, and then, if it feels good, do more of it. If it didn't feel in alignment, check in and edit. Maybe I did think that this was for me, but actually it's for the world. Actually it's because that one expert told me I needed to do it, but when I did it it didn't feel good for me, it wasn't in alignment for me. Check in and edit as you go, because as you trust yourself and you show up consistently, you will naturally build that confidence to continue the momentum that you need to see your goals all the way through. So check in.

Speaker 2:

In what ways am I living out of alignment with my best self? Here are your friendly reminders. This is not a permission slip to beat yourself up, right, as you notice. Oh, I would like to be my guard more. I want to post more frequently. I want to save my money. I want to look for another job that's more in alignment. I want to get ready to ask for a raise, because I've never asked for one before.

Speaker 2:

Whatever your goals are, allow them to come up, but don't beat yourself up for them. I knew I should have been posting consistently. I used to be so much better at reading all the time. I used to be so much better at dot dot dot. Stop looking backwards. You are not going that way.

Speaker 2:

This is not a permission slip to beat yourself up, and I think that that's why, a lot of the time, we actually avoid doing this exercise of asking yourself honestly and answering honestly in what ways am I living out of alignment? Because we're afraid of what's going to come up. We're afraid of all of the answers, of all the ways that we've slept on ourselves. Nobody else did it to us. We stopped believing in our dreams. We started believing the lies that weren't true. We started not taking action right, and so sometimes that can be hard. Just to be honest with ourselves, because we are the only ones in control of our destiny. It is you. Stop blaming anybody else around you. Take that power back. Take that power back and bring it to yourself, but don't beat yourself up. Use it as fuel. Okay, I didn't budget before. Okay, I haven't been budgeting in the past six months. I can start today. Okay, I haven't been in my garden for the past three months. I can start today. Okay, I've never started a business before, or I have and it failed. That's okay, I can start again today.

Speaker 2:

This is an invitation to be honest, to take action and to stop living with your head in the sand. That is a call out for myself more than it is for anybody else. When I ask myself this question, it makes me get real and it makes me get honest, because I do live in moments sometimes, my friends I will be very honest where I stick my head in the metaphorical sand and I want to ignore everything. I don't want to do the things. I don't want to run the errands, I don't want to reach out to the clients, I don't want to do the marketing right but check in. When I say I don't want to, it's the lazy part of me and I say that very lightly.

Speaker 2:

It's the part of me that's comfortable where I am. It's the comfortable discomfort I'm comfortable with where things are. I'm a little bit uncomfortable with the fact that I'm living out of alignment, but it's comfortable discomfort. I'm comfortable with how things are. They're not great, but I know what to expect at this level. And calling myself out and asking in what ways am I out of alignment Calls that part of myself out. It calls that part of myself where you can't live in comfortable discomfort anymore. You need to get uncomfortable right now, because it's in alignment with your best self. In the same way that we lift a weight, that's uncomfortable, right. In the same way that you might wake up early and that's uncomfortable, but it's in alignment with your best self. Sometimes eating vegetables is uncomfortable, right, but we do these things in alignment with our best selves.

Speaker 2:

This is an opportunity. It's an opportunity to wake up. It's an opportunity to lean in. It's an opportunity to experience the growing pains that are going to get us to the next level that we want to get to. This is not about anybody else, but you right. If you have goals that are going to require you to be someone you've never been before, it means you're going to have to do things you've never done before, which means when we ask these questions, how am I out of alignment? You might get answers that you've never gotten before, right, maybe, if you're wanting to make a 10K month and that's never been a goal that you've had before and you ask this question to yourself sorry, I'm getting excited, you guys, you ask this question to yourself and you're like okay, in what ways am I living out of alignment. You have this new goal of 10K months. It's like, well, you haven't actually been studying anything that has to do with marketing, you haven't been learning about what it means to make 10K. You haven't actually established why you want to make 10K. All of these new things might come up as a result. Allow them to come up Mindfulness, awareness without judgment. Be aware of all of this that comes up. Trust yourself and lean in and don't beat yourself up because of it, but be empowered because of it. Now I have all of this new information. Here are my stepping stones.

Speaker 2:

There's so many times that I have clients ask how, how, how, how, how. The how is within you. You have the how. When you ask that question how am I out of alignment? In what ways am I out of alignment? Your how is there right? Get up, read the book, invest in the coach, go for the walk, reach out to the friend. Your how is there right? Ignoring your responsibilities is only perpetuating your feelings of being off, aka out of alignment. It is that comfortable discomfort and if you've been living there, that is okay. I live there from time to time too. This is an invitation to step into discomfort in alignment with your best self, because it's worth it, because your dreams are worth it, because your dreams are possible.

Speaker 2:

There's a chance that you're not taking any action because you just don't believe that it's even possible for you to have a 10k month, for you to meet the love of your life, for you to get the raise that you want, for you to buy a home, for you to have a job that you love. You got to start there, my friend. If you don't believe it's possible, you're not going to take any action. So first start by believing that what you want, that what's been placed on your heart, is possible. Then, from there, if you truly believe that it's possible, check in. In what ways am I living out of alignment with that version of myself who is living that life? What are they doing differently than how I'm showing up now? Trust what comes up, take action, rinse and repeat. My friend, you have all of the answers that you need. And and, of course, if you want any support, my friends, reach out to me. Hello at nandikamilcom is my email.

Speaker 2:

I also have accountability club coming up very soon, so head over to the website nandikamilcom to learn a little bit more about accountability club. So excited, a new group coaching, just um, what's the word I want to use? Group coaching, program, group coaching, just there's a word that I'm looking for that I'm not finding. Right now. I'm moving my hands like a nest, like, just like a safe haven for you to come and be honest about. This is what I want, this is what I truly want and this is what I think is getting in my way, and I just need a group of humans to help me follow through, because I have the answers, I know what I want to do, but I'm not following through. So I need a little bit of accountability. I'm still not finding the word that I need, but that's what Accountability Club is going to be.

Speaker 2:

Stay tuned for that. Go to nandikamilcom to learn more and I will see you next week. Hey friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it if you could give us a five-star rating. Share it with your friends. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey go ahead to nandikamilcom to learn more, or head over to nandikamilasme to sign up for.