What if you could transform self-doubt from a crippling obstacle into a catalyst for growth? Join us as we unpack the secrets to overcoming self-doubt and stepping confidently into new territories, whether you're launching a business or pivoting to a new career. Discover how parallels between self-doubt and physical growing pains can illuminate the path to personal and professional growth. We'll explore the brain's protective mechanisms that instill self-doubt and learn to recognize these feelings as signals of impending growth rather than barriers.
In this empowering episode, I lead you through a series of reflective exercises designed to build mindfulness and self-awareness. By identifying and observing the specific messages self-doubt communicates—like feelings of inadequacy or fear of rejection—we'll dissect these thoughts and challenge their validity. Together, we'll examine the obstacles preventing the adoption of positive beliefs and discuss actionable changes to overcome them. Our goal is to turn self-doubt into self-confidence and foster a resilient, positive self-perception.
Finally, we delve into the importance of nurturing positive beliefs and empowering thoughts to transform your mindset. Learn to identify and challenge limiting thoughts, and replace them with constructive beliefs you can genuinely endorse. Understand the role of the reticular activating system (RAS) in focusing our thoughts and the significance of shifting our mindset to embrace small, achievable goals. By addressing the triggers of self-doubt, both professionally and personally, you'll better equip yourself to build lasting confidence. If you're ready to shift your mindset and create a thriving life filled with authenticity and ease, this episode has the insights you need.
ENJOY THE PODCAST? Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!
What if you could transform self-doubt from a crippling obstacle into a catalyst for growth? Join us as we unpack the secrets to overcoming self-doubt and stepping confidently into new territories, whether you're launching a business or pivoting to a new career. Discover how parallels between self-doubt and physical growing pains can illuminate the path to personal and professional growth. We'll explore the brain's protective mechanisms that instill self-doubt and learn to recognize these feelings as signals of impending growth rather than barriers.
In this empowering episode, I lead you through a series of reflective exercises designed to build mindfulness and self-awareness. By identifying and observing the specific messages self-doubt communicates—like feelings of inadequacy or fear of rejection—we'll dissect these thoughts and challenge their validity. Together, we'll examine the obstacles preventing the adoption of positive beliefs and discuss actionable changes to overcome them. Our goal is to turn self-doubt into self-confidence and foster a resilient, positive self-perception.
Finally, we delve into the importance of nurturing positive beliefs and empowering thoughts to transform your mindset. Learn to identify and challenge limiting thoughts, and replace them with constructive beliefs you can genuinely endorse. Understand the role of the reticular activating system (RAS) in focusing our thoughts and the significance of shifting our mindset to embrace small, achievable goals. By addressing the triggers of self-doubt, both professionally and personally, you'll better equip yourself to build lasting confidence. If you're ready to shift your mindset and create a thriving life filled with authenticity and ease, this episode has the insights you need.
ENJOY THE PODCAST? Leave us a 5-star review so more people can find us!
Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host Life Coach, nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go. Hello hello.
Speaker 2:
Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the podcast. I am your host life coach, nadi Camille. Welcome, my friends. This week we're talking about dealing with self-doubt because, my friends, you've heard me say it before if you're doing something new, if you're becoming someone that you've never been before, then you're going to have to do things you've never done before, right. If you're wanting to become a principal of a school and you've never been a principal you might have to take some classes you've never taken. You might have to read some books up on leadership you've never read before, which means you're becoming someone you've never been before right. So you're doing things you've never done before and often, when that is happening, several things will occur. First and foremost, growing pains. Growing pains will happen.
Speaker 2:
I am experiencing them in my life. I'm playing with some new concepts, thinking about some new lines of business, income, ways to play with business. I'm really excited. I'm also really overwhelmed by all of my ideas, because I'm one of those humans that comes up with all the ideas and I am really trying to always follow through. I don't always. My garden is a prime example of that. It's kind of half done and half not right now, but I have a goal to complete it. I have so many goals and I want to complete them. I digress, but when we are going towards slash, not, but when we are going towards those goals, when we are becoming someone we have never been before when we are doing things we never done before, aside from those growing pains that are a byproduct of lifting new weights, of stretching in new ways, we've never stretched, literally.
Speaker 2:
That's happening when we stretch, when you go to touch your toes and maybe you can only reach for your knees and you're reaching so hard for your toes and you can't quite get to your toes and your muscles they hurt.
Speaker 2:
For those of you who have been in fitness for some hot second, you know that your muscles are tearing, there are micro tears that are happening so that you can grow new muscles and you can stretch right. So then eventually you can go from reaching around your knees to getting to your toes, right. But there is that pain. But we know it's useful pain, right? You know the difference between pain that is an alert that, oh, something is wrong. Right, that's not the pain I'm talking about. I'm talking about useful pain, growing pains.
Speaker 2:
It's usually, excuse me, a byproduct of becoming someone we've never been. Another byproduct that often comes up is self-doubt, right, who am I to, even though we're so excited about it? We're so excited about starting the blog. We're so excited about starting the interior design business. We're so excited about quitting our job. We're so excited about signing up for, or starting that new job that we've wanted for so long. We're so excited about starting school, whatever it is.
Speaker 2:
And who am I to be accepted to the school? Who am I to be a principal? Who am I to be a world-known blogger? Who am I to be a famous YouTuber. Who am I to be? An entrepreneur running more than one business, right? All that self-doubt creeps in. And again, it makes sense because your brain is always trying to keep you safe, right? So if you're doing something that you've never done before, the brain's like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is it safe? Is that okay? Are we okay? Are we going to be okay? We've never done that before. Is it going to be when I go and I start that blog and I say oh.
Speaker 2:
I started the blog, my friends, is it going to be okay? Is my mom going to judge me? Is my friend going to judge me? Is it going to fall flat? Is nobody going to read it? And I'm going to feel really bad. Your brain is looking to protect you, so that means it's looking out for danger. Whether that danger is a feeling I don't want to feel sad, mad, frustrated, that's usually all it is right or that fear is, it could be a literal fear, right? What if I go to the original one that I always go to? What if I go to host an event and nobody shows up? Right Again, that's really an emotion, though what is the worst that's going to happen?
Speaker 2:
I'm going to feel silly, I'm going to feel embarrassed. I'm going to feel, maybe, shame, right, I just I don't want to feel that way, and so that's how the self-doubt comes in. It's coming from a place of protection. I don't want to feel embarrassed. I don't want to fall flat on my face with a self-doubt. It's like what if, what if, what, if, what, if, what if? In a way to try to protect us, but it doesn't really come across that way. It doesn't really feel very protective. It just feels heavy. It just feels like this cloud that's getting in our way from being our best self. It just feels like this, at least for me.
Speaker 2:
You get to check in for you. What does self-doubt feel like to you? I would love for you to just pause on that. What does self-doubt feel like to you when you feel doubtful of yourself? How does that show up? I'm going to ask you that in two different ways. How does that show up physically? How's that show up in your body? Do you feel heavy? Do your shoulders crunch up towards your ears when you feel doubtful? Does your stomach feel really tight? What happens in your body? Maybe you've never thought about that before. Right, because we're human beings on the planet. Just pause. Mindfulness is awareness without judgment. I'm your lovely, mindfulness-based life coach. Pause and notice.
Speaker 2:
Okay, I'm feeling self-doubt right now. I'm not going to run away from the feeling. What's happening right now? What is happening in my body? Right, are my teeth tight? Am I clenching my jaw? Am I looking down? Am I hunching over what is happening in my physical body? And here's the second part of it what is happening in my mind when I'm feeling self-doubt? What am I thinking? And again, maybe you've never thought about this. Maybe you haven't stopped to mindfully notice what is going on in the background.
Speaker 2:
When I'm feeling this really maybe loud, intrusive emotion, I don't want to feel self-doubt, I want to feel confident. I don't want to feel this. I don't want to feel this. So we try to shove it away. We want it to go away. We want the bad emotions to go away, but I want you to. It sounds counterintuitive. Invite it in for a moment. What does self-doubt feel like? What are you saying? What is the script running in your brain? What are the thoughts that you're thinking that are creating the feeling of self-doubt? I would invite you to spend some time with that emotion or any quote, negative emotion when it shows up. Start to get intimate with your emotions. They are not bad, they are signals. Again, take what sticks to you, leave the rest.
Speaker 2:
If you're new to this podcast, welcome in my friends. I have a series of questions that I'm going to ask you that I hope that you can use as tools in your tool belt when you feel any emotion, but any unwanted emotion, we'll say but what we're going to focus on in particular today is self-doubt. So the first question I'm going to ask you to ask yourself is what is the doubt saying? We just checked in there. What is the doubt saying? I'm not good enough? What if nobody shows up? What if they don't like me? What if that was really stupid what I said?
Speaker 2:
How does the self-doubt show up in the thoughts that you're thinking? What is the doubt saying? Right, again, this is an invitation to be mindful. Our running definition of mindfulness is awareness without judgment. So to be aware of the doubt, to be aware of what the doubt is saying, without judging it, without judging yourself for feeling small, without judging yourself for feeling doubtful, it's okay to feel this emotion. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling self-doubt. Do not beat yourself up for not being as confident as you want to be. You're not there yet. It's okay, it's not a problem. Don't make it a problem that you're feeling self-doubt.
Speaker 2:
What is the doubt, say and get intimate with it. Once you can figure out, once you can notice because for most of us there's a pattern going right that I'm not good enough. That might be your pattern thought or they don't like me, nobody ever likes me, or I never fit in, or I'm not cool enough. Whatever your self-doubt says, there's normally one that we go to regularly, that we might not even notice, right, but as you get intimate with it, see what your thought is, see what your belief is. A belief is just a thought. We think again and again. Right, is it true? Nobody ever likes me, I always say stupid things, I never say the right thing, is that true? Our inner emo teenager might be like yes, right, but I want you to tap into your adult self, your higher self, right? Is that actually true? That nobody ever likes you, or that it never goes well, or that nothing ever works out for you? Whatever the doubtful sentence is in your brain, is it true? Is that the truth? And maybe you're saying, yes, yes, it's still true. Okay, cool, We'll put a pin in that one.
Speaker 2:
The next question I'm going to ask you is what do you wish was true instead? Let's just shift the focus for a moment. What do you wish was true instead? Right, if the thought is nobody ever shows up for this or I never hit my sales goal like I want to, what do you wish was true instead? I always hit my sales goal. I have so many interesting things to say. People love hearing what I have to say and that might feel silly, that might feel uncomfortable, but be honest with yourself. What do you wish was true instead? What do you wish you were thinking about yourself? What do you wish you were feeling instead of self-doubt? Check in.
Speaker 2:
The next question for you is what is getting in your way of believing that truth? Okay, so if you want to believe, of course I have wonderful things to say. I always have interesting and thoughtful things to say. What what is getting in your way of believing that? Why don't you believe that? Because I never have anything interesting to say, okay. So what is the difference between the version of you who has interesting things to say and the version of you who doesn't? Is the version of you who has interesting things to say, reading up on literature and history, and so whenever you hop into a conversation, you know a little bit about everything. What does that mean for you? Get clear on that. What is getting in your way of believing the truth that you want to believe, that you are confident that you can present to a group of people that you can ask for the raise.
Speaker 2:
What is getting in your way of believing that truth? And so, if the thought you want to think is I have interesting things to say, right, people love to talk to me and I love to talk to people. And if you can't believe that right now, you're like that would be great if I could believe that right now, but currently I can't get myself behind that belief. My future version of myself in the future, she believes that about herself, that she is a great conversationalist, that she knows how to work a room and network, and she's so confident about that. But me, right now, I can't get behind that. So my question for you is what better truth can you get behind right now? Maybe you don't believe that you can work a room. You have super interesting things to say, but maybe you can get behind. I'm a nice person, right, I'm friendly. I don't always know what to say, but maybe you can get behind. I'm a nice person, right, I'm friendly. I don't always know what to say necessarily right now, but I can believe, or I do believe, that I'm a friendly person, that I'm nice to be around. I might be a little awkward, but I'm nice to be around. What better truth can you get behind right now?
Speaker 2:
So if the thought is, I never hit my sales goal, that's the self-doubt and you wish what was true. Instead, I always hit my sales goal. I always hit those 10K months. I always hit my. Whatever your quota is, I am just throwing out an arbitrary number. Whatever your number is, I always hit that.
Speaker 2:
If you can't believe that, right now you're like I always hit that. If you can't believe that, right now you're like oh, I don't know where near that 10K month, nowhere near it. I wish I was. I wish I could believe that. What can you get your energy behind? Right now, I make more sales every single month. Is that true? I make sales every single month. Is that true? What can you get your energy behind? That is helpful, that serves you, because thinking the thought I never hit my sales goal is not serving you. Why? Because if we're focused on that, I never hit my sales goal. I never hit my sales goal. Remember, you have your reticular activating system, ras. It's a Google search bar in your brain.
Speaker 2:
If you're thinking the thought I never hit my sales goal, your brain then goes to look for evidence of that. It thought I never hit my sales goal. Your brain then goes to look for evidence of that. It goes to look at all the months where you didn't hit your sales goal, and so then it projects into the future. Based on that, of course, you will not in the future. It is a logical thought, but that thought is not serving you. It's just not serving you.
Speaker 2:
So what thought might you think instead that would serve you, that would give you some energy, that will give you some motivation? I make sales every month. I can commit to making a little bit more sales every single month. What can you get your energy behind that serves you? What better truth can you get behind right now? Right, so that's how it works. We have to.
Speaker 2:
In order to do that work, you have to be willing to look at it, to feel it, to feel the self-doubt and to notice what am I thinking right now that's causing this feeling, unless we're able and willing to take a look at the thought, spend some time with those beliefs that we don't want to be having. It's okay that you don't want to have them, but spend some time with them so that you can transmute them. If you're not willing to look at them, you can't change them, right? Be willing to look at, be willing to feel those quote negative emotions, because from that place A you take your power back. I like to. I've said it before and I will repeat it so many times because I love it A lot of our fears are bunnies with flashlights.
Speaker 2:
When you think about shadows on the wall and how they can look big and scary, because it's a big, scary shadow, but really it's like a little bunny that's got a flashlight on it and that's it. We have to be willing to turn around and look oh, that's not as scary as I thought it was. But our emotions are real. Fear feels real, self-doubt feels very real. So let's lean in and give it the attention that it's asking for. And then, from that place, what do I wish was true? Instead, what is getting in my way of believing that truth? And what better truth can I get behind?
Speaker 1:
right now.
Speaker 2:
This doubt is not the truth. This doubt is doubt. This doubt is doubt. I want you to mindfully notice. How does it feel when you feel doubt and where are you usually triggered? Is it when you're going to work in the morning? Is it when you have a one-on-one with your boss? Is it when you're launching a new product? Is it every single time you record the podcast? When is it for you that you are noticing self-doubt crop up the most? For me, recently it has been with me, creating a lot of new projects and playing with my identity, playing with new ways of showing up, playing with new ways of branding, new ways of being. My brain is saying well, what if people don't like that? What if it doesn't work? That's the biggest one for me. What?
Speaker 1:
if it doesn't work.
Speaker 2:
Is that your self-doubt? What if it doesn't work? Okay, what do I wish was true? Instead, it absolutely works out, and I think for that in particular that sentence I would lean in a little bit more and ask you what does quote working out mean? What does it mean for it all to work out? Specifically, it means you get the raise. It means that you hit the month that you want to in sales. It means you sign that one particular client. What does that mean for it to go well? And when things are quote working out or going well, what are you thinking and believing about your life?
Speaker 2:
The hack is that we think and believe those things ahead of time. We think and believe those things even before we have the evidence for them. Why? Again, because your brain is looking for evidence of whatever you put in it. Your brain does not care what you're thinking. Your brain will look for evidence for whatever you put in it. So if you think this is never going to work out, your brain will look for evidence of that. And if you affirm even though it feels delusional, of course things are working out for me, even though I got a flat tire and I got let go from that job and my relationship ended. I'm still willing to believe that things are working out for me. Your brain will then go to look for evidence of that, that, in my opinion, you take it. If it's six, you leave it. If it doesn't serves me, that serves me. So mindfully decide how do I want to feel and what thoughts do I need to think on purpose in order to feel that way.
Speaker 2:
A hack for this, because sometimes this can be really hard. This can be really hard to give ourselves the pep talk. This can be really hard to change our own beliefs because we're in it. So it is. It's work right, it is lifting a mental weight to choose to think a new thought. A hack for this two hacks actually is one that I've mentioned throughout this podcast episode is going to your future self. Go to your future self. It's such a repeat tool for me. Go to the version of myself who already has what I want. Go to the version of myself who has gotten the thing, who has done the experience, who has checked that box right and what are they thinking and believing? And borrow those thoughts. Another hack, though, for right now, because sometimes those thoughts, those future thoughts, can feel too big.
Speaker 2:
What would you say to a friend who is dealing with what you are going through? What would you say to them who is going through self-doubt? What would your pep talk be for them? Give that love and that grace and that respect to yourself. Do not disrespect yourself. It is so easy for us to because again we're in it and it's like, no, it's just us to us. Stop disrespecting yourself. Give yourself some respect. Yeah, things didn't turn out the way you wanted them to. Yeah, you have some evidence of things going. Quote wrong.
Speaker 2:
Okay, yeah, you have some fear as you go to step into this next chapter. That's okay, that is okay. What is the self-doubt saying? Look it in the face. And then you get to decide on purpose what you're going to think, because what you're thinking is influencing how you're feeling. How you're feeling is influencing the action you're taking. The action you're taking is influencing your results. So if you do not like the results you're getting right now, it's time to think some new thoughts. I hope that this podcast episode served you. My friends, as always, take what sticks to you, leave the rest. I'll see you next week. Hey, friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it. If you give us a five-star rating, share it with your friends. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey go ahead to nandikamilcom to learn more or head over to nandikamilasme to sign up for your free discovery call.
