Believe Like A Boss
Learn how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual (energetic) alignment and intentional action. Join each week as Life Coach Nandi (rhymes with Gandhi) teaches you how to create what she calls "a life of thrive" with ease and authenticity. | NandiCamille.com
Believe Like A Boss
Want Walk (Home Edition)
Have you ever pondered the deeper emotional or spiritual needs behind your practical desires? This week on Believe Like a Boss, I take you on a mindful want walk through our homes, an exercise that transformed my understanding of personal goals and how they show up (sometimes first as complaints). Starting in my backyard, I share how observing my thoughts about the space led me to realize the deeper significance of my practical desires. This practice can offer clarity when you’re setting goals and intentions, especially if you’re feeling unsure about what truly matters to you.
I’ll guide you on transforming your bedroom into a sanctuary of sleep, security, sensuality, and quality time. With practical advice on making meaningful changes, like adding candles or rethinking decor, we can create a nurturing home environment that enhances our well-being and creativity. Whether it’s organizing the kitchen for better health or aligning your home with your values, these mindful practices will help you live more harmoniously. Listen in for heartfelt encouragement and practical tips to approach home improvements with love and grace.
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Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host Life Coach, nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello, hello and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host life coach, Nandi Camille. My friends, welcome back. This week we are talking about a mindful health walk. This is something that I ended up stumbling upon as a mindfulness-based coach.
Speaker 2:My running definition, as many of you know, is mindfulness is awareness without judgment. So being aware of the way that I'm moving, being aware of how my body feels, being aware of how I feel, being aware of the action that I'm taking. I'm consistently aware of all of those things and beyond. And then I'm thinking about my clients too. I love to think about them and how we might increase their awareness in a certain area and how increasing their awareness of how they talk to themselves in the morning when they wake up right, impacts the rest of their day, right. So, as I'm walking through literally walking through my home, very mindfully, I was just walking through my home and I was just noticing things, I noticed myself naming what was important to me, and it started when I was in the backyard. I went into.
Speaker 2:We've been in our house. I think this summer makes four summers that we've been in our home, which is a little bit crazy to think about that. We've been homeowners for that long and we owned before that, but to own a single family home in Denver is, at least for us, a pretty big feat. The average home buyer first-time home buyer now is about 35 years old and I would say the average home, if you would like a decent home, like single family home in Denver, you're looking at a minimum of probably $450,000 minimum, minimally, and we paid beyond that. So I'm walking through our house and just trying to take in the past four years every summer I tend to do this so like I've completed another trip around the sun in this home, in this home that we own, and so I like to walk around and see what has changed, what I want, what I don't like, and I noticed this pattern as I was walking through my home, again, starting in my backyard. As I was standing out there, I noticed myself naming and noticing all of the things that I wanted to be different, all of the things that I wanted to be changed, and how it was linked, how our practical needs, how our practical wants and desires are intrinsically linked to deeper desires, things that are more spiritual, mental, emotional, and so what we're talking about today is taking a mindful walk through your home, whether it's a condo, whether you rent a bedroom within a house, maybe you don't rent, maybe you live with your parents and you live in that home, whatever your space is that you call home. That's what I'm going to invite you to do this walk through with, and the reason why I'm bringing this tool, I'll say, to you all, is because I found it to be very helpful in clarifying what I want.
Speaker 2:So if you're ever in a season, if you're working with a coach, you're working with a therapist, and they're asking you what do you want? Or maybe it gets to the end of the year, every year, and everybody's writing down their goals, their aspirations. I know that what are they called? Resolutions get a bad reputation. So now people set intentions or choose one goal or one word of the year. Maybe when you're going to do that goal setting, you're like I don't actually know what I want. Or the last time your friend or somebody asked you, what do you want, what do you like, what do you like to do for fun, you came up blank. I found this to be a very helpful tool for really getting clear on what is important to us in a really easy way.
Speaker 2:So again, I started in my backyard and I'm standing back there and all of a sudden, I just start noticing all of the things that I want to be different, and so I started taking notes in my phone and I'm going to read directly from the notes in my phone. When I was in the backyard, in the garden, the things that I noticed was I wanted to have a clean backyard, I wanted no weeds. These are just naturally what's happening, and this is why I would invite mindfulness into every area of your life, to be aware of what's going on in your brain at any given time. So I'm in my backyard I'm not intentionally doing a walkthrough of my yard asking myself any questions, but I just happened to be back there and I happened to notice myself being like I want to clean up this backyard, I don't want any weeds back here, I want a blooming garden that I've cared for. Like I want a blooming garden that I've cared for, like I want everything to be blooming right now.
Speaker 2:And I actually completely not spaced on, but really dropped the ball on planting pumpkins this year. I need to do some research and see if it's even worth my time to try to plant pumpkins this late in the season. All my gardeners are probably rolling their eyes and be like no Nandi, but I want to see if there's still a chance I could plant my pumpkins. Anyway, being back there, I noticed huh, I'm upset that my pumpkins aren't planted, I'm upset that there's weeds in the garden. This is a yard that I am not proud of, right? So I've noticed. That's what I noticed.
Speaker 2:That script was running while I was in the backyard, I went out there to feel peaceful. I went out there to take a break and just get some fresh air. And when I was out there, I noticed myself. It showed up as complaints right, why are these weeds back here? Why is this back there? Why is it right? And so, as I noticed myself complaining, I transmuted it to ah, look at me noticing what's important to me. And so that was what started this tool of a house walkthrough and in every room, then asking myself what is important to me here? And so, instead of allowing myself to continue to beat myself up ah, you didn't pick up the weeds, ah, you didn't plant the pumpkins soon enough Look at you being behind and gardening.
Speaker 2:I notice there's a desire that is arising. That's all that's showing up for me right now and that's why emotional intelligence at least for me is so important, because when we're not aware, emotionally intelligent, aware of our emotions, it can be scary to walk outside and all of a sudden you're beating yourself up. You went outside for fresh air, but all of a sudden you're beating yourself up. Have you ever done that in your house? Right, you went upstairs to grab one thing of laundry or one shirt out of your closet and all of a sudden you're beating yourself up about your weight. Or you're beating yourself up about you don't have new clothes, right? I want you to notice when we're doing that.
Speaker 2:If, if I'm not emotionally intelligent or let's go to a time where I was less emotionally intelligent, I'll say it that way when I wasn't as aware of my emotions, when I was afraid of being angry, what would have happened is I would have gone in my closet or gone in my backyard, started complaining, and it would have just created a downward spiral. Ah, you didn't pick up the weeds, you came out here for fresh air, but look at all this stuff that still needs to be done. I just want to beat myself up. And then I would have carried all that pressure, all of that weight with me throughout the rest of my day, throughout the rest of my week, just beating myself up. And what I want to invite you to do instead is, through this tool of a housewalk and asking yourself what is important to me here? What is important to me here? We take those what show up first as complaints and we transmute them into tangible goals. We transmute it into clarity. Right when I was in the garden, with all that told me not wanting to have weeds back there, wanting a blooming garden that I cared for, what it told me was that what was important to me was having a home that I am proud of, right? So instead of staying in the downward spiral of, oh, you don't do anything, you're not moving fast enough, you didn't pick up the weeds. I noticed ah, it's important to me to have a home that is well cared for, and how I know my home is well cared for is that I've picked up the weeds, I've planted my gardens, my gardens are blooming, it is well kept.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be really honest with you guys. If you go in my backyard right now, there's an overgrown trash. Can that the neighbor child? He helps the neighbor child. That's what I refer to him as he's a teenager now.
Speaker 2:The teenager that lives across the cul-de-sac does our lawn. He mows our lawn for us. He also has helped with yard work. Over the years he's been our landscaper and so he's picked up weeds and he's helped to chop a lot of stuff down. We didn't have his help with the landscaping. This year he's just been mowing the lawn, but I kid you not, he left an entire trash bag, trash can of twigs and things from our yard last year. It is sitting back there. I let Tyler, my husband, be the manager of the landscaping so I allowed him to do what he needed to do, but this trash can is sitting in our backyard still and it's making me crazy. So I need to do something about it or I need to talk to him about it, but it's been sitting back there for a year. There's a bag that's been sitting back there full of garbage for a year, and so for me, those are cues when I go out in my backyard, that this is not a well-kept yard. There are things that have been sitting out here for over a year. There are leaves that are dead from last fall. I'm just really going to lay it all out there, you guys.
Speaker 2:But the reason why I feel like I can very confidently be vulnerable about that is because I'm not beating myself up about it. I'm not saying you're a horrible homeowner, could I do better? Absolutely. But beating myself up about it is not going to serve me. Asking myself the question what is important to me here? And then making a tangible list Again pulling the weeds Great. I now have a goal to spend 15, 20 minutes outside on a daily basis pulling some weeds. I need to set a timer. I'm going to do that after I work on the podcast. I'm going to set a timer for 20 minutes. I'm going to go out there, get what I can get done and then feel good about the work that I have done right. So I'm going to start to take that action.
Speaker 2:But what I'm inviting you to do is walk into every single space in your home. Again, if you are in a studio apartment, it doesn't matter what. What is your kitchen, what is your living room, if you if that doesn't fill in it stand in the center of it and ask yourself the question what is important to me here? And look around. What's first and foremost likely going to come up is the practical.
Speaker 2:Oh, I wish these blinds were fixed, I wish that that my kitchen was organized. I wish that my dog had a better space to sleep. I wish that I had a backyard. I have a balcony, or I don't even have a balcony, I have a window right now. Right, it's going to come up as practical first, and I want you, if you can, if you have a notebook around you, use that notebook. I used my phone, I used the notes app in my phone and I started taking notes what is important to me in each space in my room. So I literally went room by room, stood in there Again, mindfulness is awareness without judgment. I didn't allow myself to just go in there and start rattling off stuff. No, go and be in your space quietly for a moment, just take it in.
Speaker 2:Take it in. Don't go in. I'm going to offer it would be helpful if you didn't go in looking for problems. That's not what we're doing. That's not what this is about. This is about being in each space in your room and I would even say look for not just what is. When you say what's important to you here, maybe you say having a well-kept home is important to me and you notice that something is unkept in a certain space in your home. But also notice what is well kept. Also notice what you are proud of. Right On the flip side of me being frustrated with my backyard being a mess, I'm very proud that we've been homeowners for four years, right.
Speaker 2:I'm very proud that this is our home, that we have incrementally not increased, decorated or, I guess, increased. I don't know what the word is that I'm looking for but we've incrementally made adjustments to our home that I'm proud of. It is not where I want it to be. I'm not at the end goal. I don't have blooming pumpkins and a blooming rosebush and a fixed sprinkler system. My sprinkler system's broken. I'm having to hand water and I haven't planted my pumpkins yet, but it doesn't serve me to beat myself up about it, so I'm going to go into some of the other spaces in my home and go into some of the notes to hopefully again take what sticks to you. Leave the rest, hopefully to help you marinate a little bit on what this looks like for me. At the end of the day, it needs to be what it needs to be for you, though. Right, let my example be an example, but I want you to truly go into each space in your room and ask yourself the question what is important to me here? Notice what comes up without judgment and take those notes and don't beat yourself up for it. Decide what is one small step I can take, maybe not in every single area of your house, maybe in one small step in one area of my house at a time.
Speaker 2:So when I went into my kitchen, I started taking notes and what was important to me. What came up was being organized and knowing where everything goes. I feel my best in the room when I have planned meals ahead of time and a stocked fridge. So I'm looking around in my kitchen and that's what came up for me. I know that I feel my best when my fridge is stocked with all my favorite snacks and I have, grab snacks that feel good for me, that I can grab an apple and peanut butter. That I have a cucumber and hummus or carrots on hand, easily accessible, healthy snacks that are easy for me to just grab. That I don't really need to think about. I feel my best when that is happening. I also feel my best because of me having a stocked fridge that I can then plan my meals ahead of time. I know what's in my pantry, I know what's in my fridge, based on the things that I have.
Speaker 2:I normally will do this on Sundays, if not Mondays, if I didn't do it on Sunday. So today is my day to do it. It's Monday. I'm recording the day before our podcast comes out on Tuesday, and so I want to do my meal planning today and sit down. I know that I feel my best.
Speaker 2:There are definitely weeks when I don't meal plan and we have a whiteboard on our fridge in the kitchen and there are weeks that I won't do any meal planning and the whiteboard will sit empty or I'll have last week's meal prep on it and there it's not so drastic that it ruins my week. But there is a difference when I plan my meals ahead, when Tyler can look at the fridge and know, okay, thursday we're doing spaghetti and meatballs, friday we're doing fish, and I can leave notes that Tyler's going to help out with the fish. Or, tyler, I need you to put the chicken in the crock pot on Tuesday. He can then read those notes and help me ahead of time. So that way, when I'm working throughout the day and he's working throughout the day, he can actually take a look. Oh, it's crock pot pot day. I can put that in the crock pot or he'll send me a text. Are you going to put it in the crock pot? Do you need my help?
Speaker 2:So when I plan my meals ahead of time and they're written on that whiteboard, it is one less thing for me to think about in the evenings and I can proactively ask for help, or Tyler can proactively offer help as a result, versus when I don't have the meals up there. He doesn't know what to. He's like. I don't know what's for dinner, and I usually don't know what's for dinner at that point. Then I come home or I'm get done with my day and I'm frustrated and I don't want to think about it, right? And so when I was in my kitchen, I noticed that being organized and knowing where everything goes helps me to feel my best. That's what's important to me in the kitchen. That looks like having my pantry full, my fridge full, because I grocery shopped ahead of time and planning my meals ahead of time. So this is what I mean.
Speaker 2:I want you to go into every single room in your home and notice what comes up, asking the question what is important to me here on a practical note, and then on a mental, spiritual note, on an emotional note, what's important to me here for my kitchen? I want to feel connected. I think, on a more of a spiritual mental note, I want that to be a space where Tyler and I can connect. I do make most of the meals in our home, but I do really love when he and I can cook together. Or I love when I turn on music and he comes and he dances behind me and we dance in the kitchen and he kisses my neck and we do the whole movie scene right. I love that. So notice, on the practical side and on the emotional side, what feels good for you, what is important to you in each space. Ok, I had a bunch of different rooms that I went through, but I could talk forever and ever about each of those rooms. I'm going to highlight the dining room and then I'm going to give you guys my follow-up questions. If you want any more insight to any more of the room, send me an email, hello at nandikamilcom. If you want any help with any of this, you can also book a discovery call. Nandikamilasme to book a free discovery call. It's an hour for you and I to sit down, talk, and if you want to run through this exercise with me during the hour, we can absolutely do that.
Speaker 2:The next space that I'm going to highlight, like I said, was my bedroom, and when I was in there, I actually took a lot of notes in there. This is what my note section says. I'm not going to edit myself, I'm just going to read this for you guys. I sleep well. So what? The question being what is important to me here? I sleep well and I wake up feeling rested. Our bedroom is a place of sleep, security, sensuality and quality time. On a practical note, it is important to me to incrementally improve our space and make it the oasis I seek. It is important that my bedroom feels as welcoming, organized and well-designed as a beautiful hotel room. So that's what came up for me for my bedroom.
Speaker 2:Practical note I want to design our bedroom. I love our bed. We have a purple mattress. Love it. But I would like to get and we have one of those what is it? Adjustable base so our backs can raise, so we can sit up straight. But what I would love to find is a bed frame that works with an adjustable base, that has an actual frame, or I want a backboard. Tyler and I haven't figured out quite the direction we want to go in, but I'm really excited to decorate our space and to make it more of an oasis.
Speaker 2:I truly believe in my home being a sanctuary, my home being a place that I love more than anywhere else in the whole wide world, because I've decorated it that way, because I've made it cozy and I've incorporated my favorite colors and my favorite smells, and there's pictures of me and my family all over the place. I love being home and I love making my home a place that I love to be and that nourishes me. That when I have, when I'm working throughout the day or when I've completed a day anytime, I'm in my space. It is a space that nourishes me, that makes me feel more of myself. That invites my creative self forward, that is a safe haven for my dreams and my husband's dreams.
Speaker 2:And so, having said all that, if that's important to you too, I highly recommend using this as a tool, as follow-up questions. Let's say, you go through your entire space and you ask yourself what is important to me here? You get all of your notes. You're like okay, I got my notes. Now what? What can you do with what you have? The question that I ask myself is what can I do with what I got? I ask that to my clients sometimes All right, what can we do with what we have right here in our hands? All right, what can we do with the current situation, with your current reality? Right, maybe you can't deck out your master, your primary bedroom, the way that you want to, with the sconces and the backboard and new side tables and mounting the television. Maybe you can't do all of that right now, but maybe you can have a candle in there. You haven't had a candle in your bedroom in a while and that just the smell of that makes your room feel more sensual. Maybe this was a practical note.
Speaker 2:Talking to Shoshana she was working with, shoshana is a coach that I love. She's been on the podcast before. She was working with a client and they were talking about they were doing their primary bedroom, and this person in particular had pictures of their children in their bedroom, in their bedroom. And I love this story because I think that it really does paint the picture really nicely of our environment, truly does impact our mood, it impacts how we show up, it impacts how we feel, and so this couple she was working with had pictures of their children in their primary bedroom, and it's not that there's anything wrong with that, of course it seems like a really nice idea. But, being a sensual space, having pictures of their little children everywhere did not invite in the sensuality that this couple was seeking. So they took all the pictures down, they put them in the hallway. Right, they could still have the photos up, they could still experience them. But that little tweak didn't have to spend any money, just took those photos off of the wall in the bedroom, put them in the hallway.
Speaker 2:What can you do with what you have right now?
Speaker 2:As I looked in my backyard, I want to pull weeds. If I were to try to pull all the weeds at once, it would take me all day long. So I'm doing it in increments 20 minutes right now. So what can you do with what you have right now? Being where you are and knowing what you have right now, what is the next best step? I love that question. What is the next best step Now? I love that question. What is the next best step?
Speaker 2:Now that I've walked through my home, now that I've identified what's important to me, what helps me feel most in alignment, which makes me feel most alive, makes me feel my best self? What is the next best step? Is it getting a candle? Is it just organizing my closet? Going through my closet and trying on my clothes and getting rid of anything that doesn't serve me so my closet can stop being full? Is it taking the time to wipe down your counters? You're just not doing it right. Taking the time to a once over. Once a day, I'm going to go through my house, put in my headphones and I'm going to wipe all the surfaces down on my home, because that, at the very least, is going to make me feel like my home is a little bit more fresh, more clean. Maybe it's going and taking yourself to Target and investing in the vacuum investing, I don't know. My brain is on cleaning right now.
Speaker 2:Whatever it is in your space that you feel like you need. Prime example, my husband is actually weeding right now. He's taking care of the front yard. I'm taking care of the backyard, and I came home and he's like I need more weed killer tonight. Right, practical, very practical. That is something that we can do tonight. We can go to the store get weed killer. We can take care of that, right.
Speaker 2:So, meet yourself where you are.
Speaker 2:What can you do with what you have?
Speaker 2:What would be the next best step? Right, just take that one step at a time. Trust yourself and again, as always, if you need help trusting yourself, knowing what next best step to take, getting over the limiting beliefs. That is the friend that you keep saying I want to do this, I want to work out daily, I want to lose the weight, I want to start the business, I want to meet the person, I want to join the club, I want to start the blog, but I'm just not doing it. There is likely a limiting belief getting in your way, something along the lines of maybe you don't believe you can, you don't believe that it's possible, but what I do with my clients in the work that we do is we sit down. I'm going to ask you so many questions to understand what does alignment mean to you. That is my job as a life coach is to help you trust yourself and help you take consistent action in alignment. But first and foremost, I need to understand what alignment means to you, and if you don't know what that means for you, we're going to figure it out together. What does it mean for you to be aligned and what are the next best steps we can take towards you being your most aligned self, which is not to say, I would say, your happiest self? But I say that with an asterisk.
Speaker 2:The goal of coaching is never 100% happiness 100% of the time. That is non-existent. That does not exist to anybody. My job as a life coach is to help you trust yourself and take action in alignment with your goals and know how to navigate those hard moments when they happen, because they will. When you get knocked down, when you feel depressed, when imposter syndrome shows up, when you're in a funk. How do I transmute this into an energy that I can use? How do I love myself? How do I love myself? How do I give myself grace, while still having discipline, so that I can achieve the goals, the things, the wants, the desires that have been placed on my heart, instead of playing small, telling myself I can't have it and living in a low-level depression of funk because I keep telling me that I can't have what I want. That's what I do as a coach. So if you are ready, my friend, I am ready for you.
Speaker 2:Go to nandikamilcom to learn more, or go to nandikamilasme to schedule your free discovery call. Enjoy walking through your home, as always. Take what sticks to you in this podcast. Leave the rest. I would love to hear if you do a walkthrough your home. Please send me an email, hello at nandikamilcom, or tag me on Instagram. I would love that too. I would even love that even more. If you do a walkthrough of your home, just do a little clip, do a little snippet, do a little video. Tag me at nandikamil on Instagram so I can see. I would love to hear some of the things that you all are finding is important to you as you're walking through your home.
Speaker 2:Maybe you notice some things for the first time. Maybe you get some friendly reminders. Regardless of what comes up, know that the intention is not to beat yourself up. The intention is to notice what is in alignment for me, what are the practical things that bring me back into alignment? And then, what is the soulful message that I'm getting as a result of okay, I want the weeds pulled and I want this. My message was I want a well-kept home so I can happily and easily invite people over, because it's important to me and I love to entertain, right? So check in. What is it for you? Give yourself so much love and grace? You got this, my friends. I'll see you next week. Hey friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it. If you give us a five-star rating, share it with your friends. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey go ahead to nandikamilcom to learn more or head over to nandikamilasme to sign up for your free discovery call.