Believe Like A Boss
Learn how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual (energetic) alignment and intentional action. Join each week as Life Coach Nandi (rhymes with Gandhi) teaches you how to create what she calls "a life of thrive" with ease and authenticity. | NandiCamille.com
Believe Like A Boss
How to Self Check-in (and Embrace Discomfort)
Have you ever wondered how to create meaningful change in your life? You're in for a treat because that's precisely what we will be revealing in this episode of Believe Like a Boss. Drawing from my personal experiences, I'll show you the power of self-check-in questions and how they can guide you to align your actions with your intentions.
Picture this: You're armed with a simple but potent question, "How do I feel?" and the freedom to honestly answer it. As we delve into this journey of self-awareness, we'll explore your emotions, relationships, work, and dreams. We'll take a deep dive into recognizing what's working for you, and what isn't, as well as map out the steps for what comes next. Yes, it can feel a bit uncomfortable. But guess what? That discomfort is your ticket to growth.
As we wrap up, I'll extend resources and support for those ready to take the leap towards personal growth. Remember, it's not magic, but rather a mix of intentionality, proactivity, and a dash of bravery to embrace discomfort. Join me in this episode and let's get ready to create a life of thrive together. Trusting yourself and taking calculated risks are your passport to reaching those big, audacious goals. Tune in - this is an episode you don't want to miss.
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Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host Life Coach, nandu Kamil. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello, hello and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, life Coach, Nandu Kamil, and, as always, I'm so grateful, thankful and excited to have you back for another episode this week. My friends, we're talking about some self-check-in questions, full disclosure. I am just getting off of a wonderful weekend-long bachelorette party with some really good friends. That has me so inspired for some new podcast episodes on friendships, on cultivating real friendships, on being able to listen to your knower, listen to your intuition and stand up for yourself but be intentional about the relationships that you have and, if there are relationships that are not serving you, knowing how to walk away from those, knowing how to navigate that. A lot of that came up, not because I'm walking away from these friendships, but because these friendships have lasted years and years. We did the math this weekend and the two girls over here one's the bride and one is the maid of honor and the matron of honor the bride and I have been friends since I was 16 years old, so it's 14 years, and then I've known her maid of honor I'd say for the past like 10 years. So we had a fabulous weekend, so much fun, found some speakiesies in Denver that I had no idea about that are so fun, just had a blast. And as I was thinking about what I wanted to bring to you all this week, I really wanted to talk about checking in. So please hold on the Friendship Podcast, because that is bubbling in my spirit, but I want to sit down and really process some of those thoughts for you all.
Speaker 2:What I want to talk about today is those self-check in questions, just for ourselves, just as human beings on the planet, checking in and ensuring that the way we're showing up is the way we want to show up. These checking questions are to help you be more self-aware, to help you be more intentional right and to help you be more proactive rather than reactive. I think intentional and proactive go hand in hand. When I'm talking about being intentional, I think that the bad reputation that intentions get is similar to the bad reputations that New Year's resolutions get, that they're these things that we say out loud that are wishful thinking. We put pictures on our vision board and then nothing happens. And what we're talking about today with these self-checking questions it helps us gain that self-awareness so that we can set intentions that we can then follow through on.
Speaker 2:When we talk about self-awareness and we talk about intention-setting here with Nandi Camille Life Coaching on this podcast, we're talking about goal-setting. We're talking about this is what I want and I'm going to get it, and I believe it's possible and available to me. I might not know how, I might not know the way that this is all gonna come out right. If you're wanting to be an influencer and work with brands and you don't even have your Instagram story yet or your blog story yet, your brain might say how right. And so we do these self-checking questions to ensure that the way we're showing up is in alignment with the goals that we have. We don't need to know how it's going to happen. It's our job to believe that it's going to end, to show up accordingly If I truly believe that what I want is possible to me. Am I showing up as the person that has it, as the person that knows that they're going to have it, or am I showing up as the person who doesn't actually believe that it's possible and therefore is not taking action right? That's the person that comes to me and they're like Nandi I've had this dream. I've had it for a while. I keep writing it down. It's so crystal clear in my head and I know it's possible. I just keep not taking action right. Usually that's because some part of us does not actually believe that it's possible. Because if you fully believe that it was possible, of course you would be taking action. And when we say taking action, we're not saying hustling, driving ourselves into the ground. We mean taking action, bite-sized action editing a video for 15 minutes out of your day, creating the title of your Instagram and having a plan where you start to post two times a week If you're looking to heal your relationship, you're starting to have open conversations with your person. That's what we're talking about when we say action taking your words and putting them out in the world through your efforts, affirming that you do believe that it's possible.
Speaker 2:So let's get into these checking questions. The first one is very generic but, I think, so important how do I feel? I don't think that this question gets enough credit because, again, you can ask people answer this question in lives all the time, and I think that that's why this question gets discredited. When we ask each other hey, how are you? What do people normally say? Fine, thanks. Well, thanks. How do you? Weekend thanks? Right, and there's nothing wrong with that because, truly, we don't always want to tell everybody all of our business. But this is for you, to check in with you, for you to ask yourself how do I feel today, how do I feel as I'm waking up this morning and, to be honest, with what comes up, I feel groggy today, I feel grumpy today, I feel frustrated today, I feel excited. Today, I feel a mix of the above. I'm excited because I'm about to launch this thing and I'm very nervous because I don't know how it's going to turn out. How do I feel? Truly, letting whatever comes up come up. I think sometimes we get afraid of what the answer might be because we don't want to acknowledge. I feel scared, I feel depressed, I feel angry, because then we might have to do something about it and that might feel scary, and that's okay, that is totally okay.
Speaker 2:Step one is be honest. How do you feel, ebsen? Follow up for this one. How do you feel about today? How do you feel about your work? How do you feel about your relationships? How do you feel about money? How do you feel about your dreams? How do you feel about your past? Check in and see what comes up and let whatever comes up come up. And that's what's so beautiful about therapy and coaching, because if you're afraid of the things that are going to come up, I don't know how to process this anger. When I ask myself how do I feel about my relationships, my dad comes to mind and I get angry and I cry. My anxiety comes up and I get panicky and I don't like it. I don't know what to do with it. That's what's so beautiful about coaching and therapy and all the resources that we have. There's so many beautiful resources that we have, but step one.
Speaker 2:I want to encourage you to access those emotions and know that it's safe too, even if it's uncomfortable. It is safe to be angry, it is safe to feel depressed, it is safe to feel anxiety. It is okay. The brain says it is not safe, run away, run away. Panic, panic. It makes logical sense that your brain doesn't want to feel that it's like no, no, no, let's stay away from those emotions. But what I want to offer is that, by accessing those emotions, the way to it is through it. I love that phrase. The way to it is through it. The way to what you want is through the emotion. It doesn't mean we live there. I think sometimes we get afraid that if I admit that I'm afraid, if I admit that I'm sad, I'm gonna be stuck there forever. That makes it real. It's already real, it's already in your body. Take your power back by being honest with how you feel so that you can access the next step. How do you feel? It's number one.
Speaker 2:My second question for you is it's a series of questions. You've heard them here before. I think it's incredibly helpful. What is working? What's not? What's next? This one, I think, is really great for planning. So we're doing self-checking questions today at the park. This one, these self-checking questions, help us to plan and align what is working.
Speaker 2:What is it that I really like? Is my AM routine working? Is my fitness routine working? Are my relationships working really well? Is the way that I make money working? Is the way that I save money working? Maybe you don't like your job, but you like the amount of money you have. That's fine, right? What's working is my paycheck. I like this paycheck. I don't like my boss. I don't really like what I'm doing anymore, but I like the amount of money that I'm making. I like the people that I work with. What is working. This is so important because that gives us cues to what we want to continue doing. There have been so many times I've asked people what do you want or what do you like, and they don't know. So this question really helps to guide us back to that. What is working?
Speaker 2:The second in that series is what's not, what is not working. Again, we just said maybe what's working is you like your paycheck, but what's not working is you don't like the hour-long drive, you don't like your boss, you don't like your coworkers, you don't actually like the work that you're doing anymore. Maybe at one point you did and you don't anymore. Maybe that's not working. Get clear on that Because again, this is going to help us understand what our next steps are, how we should take action in the world. If what's not working is I don't like again that commute, great. Then maybe we start looking at building up that business you've been dreaming about so you can leave your full-time job and work from home. Maybe it's something else. Maybe you just want to work closer. Maybe there's somewhere that you can from one location to the other. Maybe there's another location in a chain. If you work for a chain that's closer to you, it helps us to get more information of what do we do?
Speaker 2:Because that next question is what's next? If I know what's working, if I know what I like, if I know what's going well and I know what's not working, I know what I don't like, I know what's not going well, I now know what's next. I'm going to do more of what's working and I'm going to start to take steps to clean up what's not, to take action on what's not or to decide that it's not a problem. So again, if you're deciding that it's a problem, that it's a commute, but you're not going to take any action on it, we need to clean that up. It's either I'm going to take action on changing up my commute or I'm going to decide that this isn't a problem anymore and instead I'm going to play a podcast, I'm going to listen to my favorite music, I'm going to pray on the way to work, I'm going to call my mom and I'm going to make that a better experience, because I don't actually, at this point, want to take action on my commute. This is where we're cleaning up.
Speaker 2:So it's the second series of questions I'm asking you today what's working, what's not, what's next? The last one. If I could have a magic wand and instantly change anything, what would I change? I'm gonna read that to you one more time If I could have a magic wand and instantly change anything, well, what I change? I love this check-in question because it allows us to use our imagination. Imagine if you did have a magic wand right, go to my Harry Potter fans out there. Right. If you're not a Harry Potter fan, that's okay. Magic wand, get your magic wand. And if you could wave it and when you waved it, whatever you wanted could instantly change, what would you ask for this? I love because it uses our imagination and it reveals so much truth. If, when you waved that magic wand, you suddenly have 5,000 followers, or you suddenly have a person, or you're suddenly in Europe, or you are just feeling more comfortable in your relationships, or you're standing taller in the workspace, or you have a raise, whatever it is.
Speaker 2:I love this because it so clearly lets us know what we want. Take all the drama out. You're allowed to want what you want because you want it. Let me say it again for the people in the back You're allowed to want what you want because you want it. You do not need to justify your wants. You just get to want what you want. And this exercise of if I have a magic wand, it reveals the truth of what we truly want, what's really in our hearts. It's that child self. That's like I want really. You're a kid. We want all sorts of things.
Speaker 2:I wanted to be a Disney Channel star that did the little wave with the wand the actual wand on the Disney Channel and did the Mickey Mouse ears. I wanted that, right, and what that revealed for me is I wanted to perform, I wanted to be around people, I wanted to make people smile, I wanted to entertain, I wanted to connect with people. Right, it reveals so much of what we want and who we are and if we're honest, it opens the door to more honesty, right. If what we've weighed the magic wand and we're honest and, like I, would be in a different relationship. Right, that's what comes up when you wave your magic wand. That's okay. That is okay.
Speaker 2:Again, sometimes we're afraid of the answer. I don't want to write it down. I used to do this when I would journal. I've journaled since I was probably 10 years old and journaling my whole life. There are moments where I wouldn't want to write things down because I was afraid that if I wrote it down it would become real. Right? If I got the question if you could wave the magic wand and have whatever, and the answer that came up for me was like I'm not in this relationship or I'm going to this career instead of that career, even though I've been pursuing this for whatever. It can feel scary. It's like oh shoot, now I have to do something about it. If it's true that I don't want to be on this path anymore, that means I might have to have some hard conversations. It might mean I have to make some difficult decisions that impact other people in ways that they don't necessarily want to be impacted. That's real, my friends. But I don't want you to miss the opportunity to be honest because you're afraid of making other people uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:Meanwhile, you're keeping yourself uncomfortable in a way that's not an alignment, right, there's. There's different kinds of discomfort. There's uncomfortable in a way that's not in alignment, where you're like hanging out with people you don't want to hang out with anymore. They don't make you feel good, you feel icky when you leave. That's out and you feel it and it's out of alignment. And ending that friendship Might mean, hey, having a calm, not even ending the friendship, right? You might just notice I don't like this and it might be the first step to just have a conversation. I leave the relationship but just say, hey, when you do x, y and z, it makes me feel like this and I don't really like this. Okay, we do this instead, and that might feel scary. I don't want to have a conversation with those people. I would rather just be uncomfortable out of alignment and what I want to offer is that Maybe there's another reality available to you where you don't have to be uncomfortable, out of alignment, but you can stand in your truth and you can speak honestly and we can allow people to have their emotions. It is okay if they do not Understand where you're coming from.
Speaker 2:One of my favorite affirmations is I am willing to be misunderstood. The Intention is to be your most authentic, honest, loving self and it is okay If even in that, you say, hey, I don't like these conversations that we're having if that person doesn't get it. But let me back up and say the brain is always trying to protect you. So when that fear comes up, if I don't want to have the conversation with that person that your brain trying to protect you from Risking the relationship, ending the relationship, protect you from them being confrontational, protect you from them being upset. Notice that that is your human brain, human name, and what I want to offer is that we override that and we step into our authentic truth, which is just our voice being honest and we say authentic truth. I think that has a lot of weight to it. Just being honest. That's what this is about being honest with how we feel, being honest about what we want, being honest about our desires and being willing To walk in faith, knowing that it's available to us to have aligned friendships, to have aligned career and money and spending and travel and just a life that you truly love. And so I love to ask these questions for that reason, and the disclaimer I'm going to give you when you ask these questions is that it might open up some things that are uncomfortable, it might prompt you to do some things that are uncomfortable, but through that discomfort is everything you want. So I'm going to give you these questions again.
Speaker 2:Three was actually a whole lot of them, three prompts for you. Essentially, the first one is how do I feel? How do I feel? And again, you can make that specific to a job, to money, to your relationships? Or just ask yourself in general, when you wake up in the morning, when you go to bed at night, when you're just walking through your day and you feel some type of way pause, how do I feel right now? What's going on? The second one series of questions what's working, what's not? What's next? The third one if I could wave a magic wand and instantly change anything, what would I change? Be gentle with yourself, because for some of you you might have been in this practice. This is regular. This is a refresher. You're always asking these questions to yourself.
Speaker 2:For others of you, this might be the first time you're asking these questions and there might be some answers that you have shoved down that come up and it is going to feel uncomfortable. That is okay. Be with yourself, love yourself through it. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You are a human experiencing human emotions, and it else is also human To want to protect yourself, that your brain is trying to protect you from having hard conversations, from doing things You've never done before, from being uncomfortable, from failing. Your brain wants to protect you from all of that. But what I want to offer is you can Fail and get back up. You can have that hard conversation and maybe your heart is broken and their heart is broken, but you can heal from that, knowing again Always step in alignment for you.
Speaker 2:That's that, that discomfort. That's an alignment. That's different. That's the one that we go to the gym and you're lifting the weights and you're uncomfortable, but you know that lifting that weight is going to make you stronger. That's when you go and you have that uncomfortable conversation. But you know it's an alignment, because you and this person need to have a heart to heart, because you're not showing up Authentically in this relationship anymore as a result of, maybe, their behavior, maybe something that's happened. But that's the discomfort, that's an alignment. That's what I'm inviting you to today Discomfort, that's in alignment. Get uncomfortable, get uncomfortable. Your brain is wired for comfort. Your brain is wired for the cave. It wants to be in the cave with the fire, with the tribe, comfortable, right.
Speaker 2:When we do things that are uncomfortable, your brain will say hey, hey, hey, hey. What's going on here, what are we doing this for? And your job is to say, for my alignment, for my best self, I'm going to walk into this office and I'm going to ask for a raise, even though I'm uncomfortable, because that is an alignment with my best self. I'm going to walk into this home and have this hard conversation with my husband because he deserves my honesty, because that's what I want from him too, and it might cause some disruption, but that's okay. I'm not showing up to be disruptive, I'm showing up for connection. Right, when we show up and we have this hard conversation, it's because I desire connection. And this is how, from my perspective, we achieve it.
Speaker 2:What do you think Connect with your end result? What is it that you want? What is it that you're going after? Be willing to walk through that discomfort, holding onto that end result. And you might not get that end result exactly how you picture it, but that's not the point. The point is you having your own back. The point is you trusting yourself. The point is you knowing what you want and what you don't want and showing up accordingly, in alignment with you, not to the detriment of others. Right, we think about others while we're still walking towards ourselves, but, conversely, we're not going to.
Speaker 2:I don't want you to shush down your dreams. I want you to experience everything that's been placed on your heart and know that it's possible to experience all the things that have been placed on your heart, and trust where you are being guided, even if it's uncomfortable. Ask for the raise, have the hard conversation. Start the new Instagram, start the side hustle, start the blog. Change careers. Start doing research on that new state that you've been thinking about moving to Do the research on that Italian Riviera, whatever it is that you've been dreaming of.
Speaker 2:Reach out to somebody who has a podcast and you want to have a podcast too. These questions are meant to help you get more connected to you. These questions are meant to help you practice trusting yourself. These questions are meant to help you be your most proactive self, to be the driver of your life, instead of letting everybody else and everything else drive you. To be in charge of your life. We can't control everything, but you have so much more influence than I bet you are giving yourself credit for.
Speaker 2:That's my podcast for you all today. As always, take what sticks to you, leave the rest. I love you all so much. We'll talk next week. Hey friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it if you give us a five star rating. Share it with your friends. Share it with somebody. Another girl boss babe that you know is grinding, showing up as her best self and can maybe use some support on her way. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey go ahead to nandikamillecom to learn more or head over to nandikamilleasme to sign up for your free discovery call. I'll see you soon, queen.