Believe Like A Boss
Learn how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual (energetic) alignment and intentional action. Join each week as Life Coach Nandi (rhymes with Gandhi) teaches you how to create what she calls "a life of thrive" with ease and authenticity. | NandiCamille.com
Believe Like A Boss
When You Hate Your Job
What if you could turn your career dissatisfaction into an opportunity for growth and fulfillment? Join me, Life Coach Nandi Camille, as we explore the restless feelings many women face in their professional lives and uncover practical steps to navigate these transitions.
Through a series of three key questions, we’ll pinpoint what’s working in your current job and use that knowledge to guide your next career move. Together, we’ll manage your mindset and provide practical advice to help you discover what you truly want in your professional life.
Is your lack of fulfillment stemming from poor leadership or a neglect of personal interests? In this episode, we delve into the importance of personal fulfillment beyond the workplace. We’ll reflect on what activities genuinely bring you joy and examine whether your dissatisfaction is rooted in your job or outside it. Additionally, we’ll discuss the significant impact leadership has on job satisfaction and help you identify the specific aspects of leadership that may be lacking in your current role.
Ready to make a change but unsure of the next step? We’ll guide you through identifying your next best steps and the importance of self-care during career transitions. Learn how to ask the right questions during interviews to find a position aligned with your values. Hear about the power of defining your next best step and advocating for yourself, whether it’s staying in your current job or seeking new opportunities.
Remember to prioritize your well-being, carry yourself with confidence, and set a positive tone for your future career journey. If this episode resonates with you, please give us a five-star rating and share it with your friends!
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Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host Life Coach, nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello, hello and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host life coach, Nandi Camille, so excited to have you guys back. My friends, this week we are talking about what to do. If you don't like your job, let me apologize in advance. I'm speaking in hushed tones because we are visiting with Hamiley and so I am actively recording the podcast while we're on a trip.
Speaker 2:Because, if you've been listening for a while, I've struggled with forming the habit of batching podcast episodes, and so I'll go through seasons where I do a really great job of batching ahead of time. All my podcast episodes are set up so I can go on trips, I can do whatever I need to when I want to, I don't have to think about the podcast, it just runs. And then there are other times, like today, where it's like you know, I didn't do the work to help out my future self and I didn't batch the podcast beforehand and I've committed to doing this and I'm committing to my future self and making sure that I'm consistent in putting this out in this season every Tuesday. So here I am, recording the podcast while on a trip, so I do apologize if you're like she sounds a little bit different today. Yes, I am speaking in a little bit more hushed tones, trying to be cognizant and thoughtful about the household around me today.
Speaker 2:But this week, my friends, we are talking about when you hate your job. When you hate your job, or really, truly, if you're not in a place where you hate your job, where you are in a transition, where you know that the thing that you're not in a place where you hate your job, where you are in a transition, where you know that the thing that you're in it could be your relationship isn't necessarily serving you. But I am going to be speaking in the context of when you don't like your job, when you don't like your career, because this is something I'd say number one, number two thing that I'm working on with clients. I'm actively working on supporting women to leave their jobs no-transcript when it comes to my one-on-one coaching, and so recently this has actually come up a lot more where I'm working with more women who are discontent in their current place of work, get discontent in their current place of work, discontent in their career.
Speaker 2:So I want to unpack that a little bit, give you some nuggets. As always, if you're new here, my friends, take what sticks to you, leave the rest. If it doesn't resonate, don't worry about it. So here's the thought that I'm going to work with on this podcast, the thought being I don't know what I want in my next job. I just know that I want to feel better. So this is the person that maybe you don't know what is next I was even talking to my sister about this where you're just feeling restless, unfulfilled in your current position and you don't necessarily know what is next. You have a better idea of what your skills are, you have a better idea of what you enjoy, but you don't really actually understand how that shows up in a career. Or you have some ideas. I think that that's actually more true, and most of the time, the women that I'm working with have an idea of what it is that they're drawn towards, whether it's event planning or interior design or being a life coach. I attract a lot of women in the wellness industry and a lot of women that are in design and events. That is very consistently what I attract, and so maybe you're like okay, I have an idea of what I want to do, but I don't know what my next step is. So we're going to unpack a little bit, but I'm going to use the premise that I've used before, and that's three different questions.
Speaker 2:So the first question being what is working? What is working at your current job? What is working where you are right now? Is it your pay? That might be the only thing You're like. I like my salary. I like how much I bring home. It allows me to live a lifestyle that I appreciate. It's the pay that I really like. Maybe you really like your coworkers. Maybe the pay is not that great, but you really love your coworkers. I really love the people that I work with. I love the people that I serve. It lights me up to show up to work every single day. Maybe you have specific benefits that you really like. I was talking to a friend of mine who had unlimited PTO at her company. She could take off time whenever she wanted to, for as much time as she wanted to. She had unlimited PTO. There are a few parameters around that, but they were reasonable and actually what she had noticed in her place of work is that more people were happier as a result and worked better because they knew that they could take time off whenever they needed to, right? So what is working? This is the first question. Maybe pause the podcast episode right here. Maybe you listen to it all the way through and then take this home and then get out your journal and listen to it again, fast forward through all these middle parts and get the questions right. But I really, truly want you to reflect If you're in a place where you're not enjoying your place of work, you don't know what you want in your career, you're feeling confused in your career.
Speaker 2:What is working in your side hustle in your business, in your nine to five, what is working? And again, if you are already a full-time entrepreneur and this is what you want to be doing and you've hit a season where it's like, man, what I was doing was working and it's not working anymore and I really want to change what my business looks like and how it feels, okay, first, start with the question what is working in your business, right? Is it that you really love your clients but you don't love how you're working with them anymore? You're like I started with one on coaching, but I want to do group coaching now. Or I started with group coaching and I want to do retreats, or I started with retreats and now I want to do conferences, whatever it is for you.
Speaker 2:Check in, first and foremost, what is working. That's the first question. Now the second question is what is not working? We get to flip it around. This one is a lot easier to answer, I find, for a lot of people. What is not working? Is it that you don't like your pay? Is it that you don't like your benefits? You don't get enough benefits, right, your friend over here has unlimited PTO and you don't have anything. Or they have a great parental leave somewhere else and you don't have that. You don't have any parental leave. Or you don't have a 401k, whatever it is that's important to you. What is not working, what is not working for you? Here's where I'm going to segue a little bit.
Speaker 2:When I was planning out this podcast, there are two things that come up most consistently in my work with women and in what's not working. The first thing that's usually not working being lack of fulfillment. Right, it's normally one of two things. Maybe it's that your boss is fine, your pay is fine, the work you're doing is fine, but that's it. It's fine. And so your brain says, oh, there's nothing to complain about, so let me just stay here. But you've gotten to a place where you're just not feeling fulfilled. You're not feeling excited to get up in the morning, and it's not that you need to feel excited 100% of the time that is not what we're going for. But on a day-to-day basis, on a weekly basis, you're not excited about the work you're doing. You don't feel as though the work you're doing is valuable. Maybe you don't feel fulfilled in the work you're doing. Maybe you're working with clients that make you feel bad about yourself. Maybe you're working with customers that make you feel not great when you leave, whatever it is.
Speaker 2:Usually, when I ask women what's not working, it's I'm not feeling fulfilled anymore. And so if that's you, if you're feeling like you're not fulfilled anymore, this is what I would offer Check in what is fulfilling to you, and maybe you haven't asked yourself that question in a while. What is fulfilling to you? What makes you belly laugh, what makes you feel nourished, what makes you feel at peace and at ease and expansive? Those are the questions that I would ask when I say what is fulfilling you? What expands you? What makes you belly laugh? What nourishes you? Or paddle boarding? Or it might be sitting on my couch petting my cat, it might be going for a walk with my mother, with my best friend holding my child, whatever it is for you, what is fulfilling to you? And again, I would offer pause the podcast. And I'm speaking to the person who is not feeling fulfilled, right? If this is you, pause the podcast. Ask yourself this question I say anybody could answer this question though truly to check in and regularly know what is fulfilling to you, whether you hate your job or you love your job. What is fulfilling to you, do you know? Here's some subsequent questions that I'm going to throw at you, that I'm not going to unpack, but I'm going to throw them at you. So pause if you need to, as we go, if you are feeling a lack of fulfillment and you're trying to navigate through what would bring me more fulfillment or what is next.
Speaker 2:Here's some other questions. What do you reach for when you're bored, when there's nothing else to do, when your work is done? What do you reach for? Do you reach for the television, and maybe it is that. What channels do you watch? Is it the history channel? Is it the baking channel? Is it Nickelodeon, right? What do you reach for when you're bored? Do you reach for your guitar? Do you reach for a notebook? Do you reach for nothing because you're overstimulated and you just need to go for a walk? What do you reach for when you're bored?
Speaker 2:Next question what do you want to do on your weekends? Right, again, it's a similar question. I'd say this is a synonym question, as I like to say. But what do you like to do on your weekend? Right, if you have a free weekend and there's nothing planned, or if you do have plans that you're excited about, what are those plans? And if you had no plans and that's easier for you to visualize this this way and you just have this open weekend and you can do whatever you're and money wasn't an object, time wasn't an object and you could just truly do whatever you wanted to, what would you be doing? What would you be doing with your free time let's not even isolate it to weekends With your free time when you're not efforting, efforting in alignment, right? Some might call that hustling when you're not hustling, what do you want to do with your free time? What are you drawn towards?
Speaker 2:Here's the last one, again, another synonym for the other questions. If you had unlimited funds and time, what would you be doing If you had unlimited funds and time, what would you be doing? And the reason why I also offer these questions is because it might not be that you need a new job. It might be more true that you haven't taken more time outside of work to do things that you love. Right? Because sometimes I'll have a client that comes to me and is like I'm overwhelmed at work, I need a new job.
Speaker 2:And as we unpack things, it's not so much that they're actually overwhelmed at work, it's that we need to form a little bit more clarity in the mind. There's some thoughts that aren't serving them. There's some habits that aren't serving them at work when it comes to time management, waking up and feeling proactive when you're going to work versus reactive, and we clean up some of those habits and then usually it's more true that they haven't been practicing guitar outside of work, they haven't been going for walks with their friends, they haven't been doing the things that they love, and it actually has nothing to do with work. It has to do with them not taking the initiative to feed their inner child, to do the things that, like I said, make you belly laugh, that nourish you, that make you grin so hard your face hurts.
Speaker 2:And again, the objective of this is never that all of the time, because that is not available. That's what I believe that life is 50-50, 50%. Boredom, anxiety, depression, sadness. I don't want to go so deep that it's not like, oh, half the time, but there are low level emotions, boredom, sadness, um, just crankiness, right, 50 percent of the time and half of the time your life will always be exciting, expansive, whatever it is, no matter where you are in your life, your life will always be 50 50. Again, take what sticks, you leave the rest.
Speaker 2:My goal is For the person that's noticing actually I'm feeling more sad, more of the time because of my career, because I don't feel fulfilled. That's who I'm speaking to. We're not going for 100% of happiness 100% of the time. I personally don't believe that that's available to me and I find that it serves me to believe that life is 50-50. Because then, when those sad moments come and it's literally just like I had a stomachache because I ate something or somebody cut me off on the road and I'm feeling cranky for a second right, it just gives me the grace to be like this is just a part of life, right? Life is not happy all the time and when I'm unhappy, it doesn't mean that I'm out of alignment. It just means I'm having a moment, I'm experiencing life. Life is lifing and I get to experience all of my emotions. I get to experience both sides, right.
Speaker 2:But if you are feeling generally unfulfilled, those are the questions I would check in what is fulfilling to you? What do you reach for when you're bored? What do you want to do on your weekends? If you had unlimited funds and times, what would you be doing? Check in, ask those questions and just mindfully. Awareness without judgment. Right, be aware of what comes up without judging it. Just notice oh my gosh, I haven't been playing basketball like I used to. Oh my gosh, I haven't seen my friends in a really long time. Right, those things are fulfilling to me and I haven't been doing it. So then, how do I incorporate that a little bit more in my life?
Speaker 2:And, like I said, you might find that has nothing to do with career. You're like, oh, actually I not working and, as a subset, the second thing, that actually feel like they care about them or they're not getting the support that they need. Right, that's what I mean when I say poor leadership. Right, your leader doesn't make you feel supported or excited to be there, or like you're learning, or like they want to teach you. It's actually the opposite. That's what I would say. A poor leader is right. And so here's some questions. I have two for you here to check in.
Speaker 2:If poor leadership is what you're dealing with and you're not quite sure what next step to take, first question what about your current leadership makes it poor? So for me, it's somebody that doesn't support me, somebody that makes me feel bad about my work. Right, I want to be coached. You can give me criticism, you can give me critiques, but I want it to be constructive, right? If somebody is criticizing me, oh, you did that wrong. You always do it wrong. Why don't you ever turn it on time, right? Oh, I guess like just passive, aggressive, unkind. We know what that is. We know in our heart and our spirit and our soul and our body when someone is being unkind. So get clear for you, for me, that's poor leadership. When I have somebody that's supposed to be helping me and supporting me, but they're being unkind, that doesn't help me do my job better. As a leader, you're supposed to help me do my job better, and so for me. That would be one of my many definitions of what makes a poor leader.
Speaker 2:Check in. What does it mean for you? What is it that you're upset about? Because what I don't want to happen is for you to be like, oh, I need a new job. This shitty leader, I don't like this person, right. And then you go and you get a new job, but without taking the time to get clear about what it is that you don't want to experience anymore. So here's the flip side. What would you like to experience instead? Right, get clear on what you don't want to experience anymore and get clear on what you do want to experience.
Speaker 2:So that way, when you are job hunting, when you are looking for new leadership, you can pay attention, when you're interviewing, how they're talking to you, you can pay attention to the process, their communication, even when they're setting up the interview. Are they prompt? Do they email you back quickly? Does it take four days for them to respond? Does it feel like the response is way too casual for you? Does it feel like it's way too professional for you? Pay attention to those things.
Speaker 2:What are you enjoying about your current leader, if anything? And what are you not? And if there's nothing that you're enjoying about your current leader, what is it that you would like instead? Maybe your current leader is great at managing the money so you guys all have jobs but is really crap at coaching. Doesn is great at managing the money so you guys all have jobs but is really crap at coaching. Doesn't give constructive feedback at all.
Speaker 2:So you might say, okay, who I want next is constructive in their feedback that they give. And then when you go to interview and they're asking you what questions do you have about the job, you can ask what is your process for promoting people? What is your process for discipliner? If, let's say, I'm learning something and I'm in my first 90 days, do you give the first 90 days for us to learn? What is your training process? What does that look like? You can ask more specific questions based on the things that you genuinely care about as you go to look for a job that's more in alignment for you.
Speaker 2:All right, so those are the two things that are usually not working. But check in what is it for you that's not working at your place of work? Here's the third question that I would offer. We asked what's working. We asked what's not. Here's the third one what's next? What intuitively feels exciting, expansive and aligned? What is your next best step? I love that question. What is your next best step? Because, my high achievers, we want to go all the way, to the end. I'm a millionaire. I'm running a wellness company. I have five retreats every single year. We like to go there, which is beautiful, and if that's your dream, if you want to be an interior designer.
Speaker 2:I was talking again to my sister and we were talking about a mother suite, her going into perinatal, which is helping women with prenatal and not prenatals before you have the baby. Perinatal is after you have the baby. So she really wants to help with that post and while you're pregnant, and actually I feel like I'm butchering this slightly. I actually need to ask my sister a little bit more about that. So, please, everybody, do your own research. But the point being, we were talking about her doing a suite for moms and she's like I want to help them with the postpartum part and I want to help them exercising while they're pregnant and I want to help them create their meal plans and do their meal prep and all that. It was so nice to talk about this entire suite that she wants to create for moms, and then we had to take a step back. Okay, what is the next best step? She's taking some courses right now in perinatal so she can be certified. So that's her next best step.
Speaker 2:What is your next best step? Where do you want to learn? Who do you want to learn from? What research would you like to do? What is your next best step? Maybe it's articulating some of your needs to your boss. Have you spoken to the leadership, where you are, about the things that aren't working? Have you advocated for yourself? Have you advocated for change? For some of you, that's an easy no, I'm not going to. They're not going to hear me, absolutely not. I don't feel safe doing so. I need to leave. Cool, then listen to that and do your research and find your next position. But for some of you, you're like actually, I haven't advocated for myself, I haven't spoken up, I haven't let them know what's bothering me so I can create the change that I want to Check in. What is your next best step? Here's the last thing I want to offer.
Speaker 2:Your number one job while you are in the in-between is to feel good. I know that that sounds probably crazy to a lot of people, but let me break this down for a moment. Your number one job, while you're in the in-between in-between anything, in-between jobs, in-between relationships, in-between this goal to that goal, whatever when you're feeling like you're in the in-between, you're feeling like your stock are confused your number one job is to feel good. Here's why, when we are in frustration, fight, flight, freeze. Oh my gosh, this is never going to work out. I hate my boss, I hate my job. This is not working. I'm stuck, I'm behind.
Speaker 2:When we're in that place, your brain looks for that as evidence. Your brain does not care what you think. It is looking for evidence of what you're thinking. That's your reticular activating system, right, and so we want to work with our brain. And so your number one job is to feel good.
Speaker 2:If you're in a job that you don't enjoy, what can you do to feel good? Girl, please put on an outfit that you enjoy, right. Wash your face in the morning, brush your teeth, put on a perfume that smells really good to you, or body oil, whatever it is. Pack yourself a really good lunch, pack some snacks that you can look forward to, right. Your number one job is to feel good, because when you feel good, you think good, you do good, and that's all very crudely stated.
Speaker 2:But when we're thinking, let's say, you put on that outfit right, you don't like your job, but you put on your outfit, you are showing yourself that you value yourself, you are showing yourself that you matter. You are showing yourself that, even though this boss and this corporation might not care wherever you are, might not care about me the way that I care about me, might not support me the ways that I want support, I care about me and I'm going to show up for me and I know that things are going to change and I'm going to bring myself a yummy lunch and when you're eating that lunch, you're going to feel good. And when you're feeling good again, your brain is looking for evidence of whatever you put in it. Right. And so if you're thinking the thoughts of this is going to change, things are going to get better I might not know today, but it's a yet right, I don't know yet, I haven't gotten that new job yet. It's on its way when you're thinking that you're feeling better, right, you deserve to feel good.
Speaker 2:Don't wait on the next job, on the next goal, to feel good. Choose to feel good now. Take care of yourself now in the in-between. Feed yourself, nourish yourself, go for those walks, take time outside of work to do the research but to also play right. Carry yourself as if you're at that job that you absolutely love. Don't wait till you're at that job to dress well and to eat well. Right, do that work now. That's the last little nugget I'm going to offer. As always, my friends, take what sticks to you, leave the rest. I'll see you next week. Hey friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it. If you give us a five-star rating, share it with your friends. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey go ahead to nandikamilcom to learn more, or head over to nandikamilasme to sign up for your free discovery call.