Believe Like A Boss

Resistance Tools

Nandi Camille Season 6 Episode 21

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Resistance Tools
Breaking Down Mental Barriers to Achieve Your Goals

What if the fear of failure is the only thing holding you back from achieving greatness? This episode is a journey into the mental barriers that keep us from starting and achieving our goals. I share personal stories and client experiences to highlight how fears like wasting time, looking foolish, or failing can paralyze us.

Whether you're striving to become a more patient parent, start a blog, or expand your professional network, we'll explore how to overcome these obstacles and move forward with confidence.

Discover how others’ opinions, lack of planning, and failure to follow through can sabotage your dreams.

Through real-world examples, we uncover how the opinions of loved ones can impact self-presentation and why detailed planning is essential for success. Learn practical strategies to deal with fear and resistance that often prevent us from executing even the best-laid plans. By recognizing and managing these mental hurdles, you’ll be empowered to take consistent and effective action toward achieving your goals.

Imagine the possibilities if you approached every challenge with the mindset, "What if it goes really well?"

We'll discuss the power of positive affirmations and confidence-boosting techniques to prepare for new opportunities. From fitness goals to launching a business, this episode emphasizes the importance of self-motivation and accountability. Join our supportive community and take actionable steps to embrace new opportunities and create a life full of ease and authenticity. Visit NandiCamille.com for more personalized support and follow along on Instagram at @nandi.camille

Together, let’s turn our dreams into reality!

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Speaker 1:

Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host Life Coach, nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go.

Speaker 2:

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host life coach, nandi Camille. Welcome back, my friends, this week we're going to kind of segue off of last week's conversation about legacy and what do you want to be known for and who do you want to be known by? And and who do you want to be known by, and take the next step. I really like to build these onto each other and kind of branch off all of our topics, because we are holistic humans and as we start to walk down these paths and we start to work on these goals, the path unfolds and so you might have noticed last week okay, I want to be known for having a beautiful garden. I want to be known for having a beautiful garden. Or I want to be known for having a wonderful blog. Or I want to be known for being a really impactful teacher. I want to be known for being a really loving and patient and encouraging mother or spouse.

Speaker 2:

Whatever it was for you, you identified what it is that you want to be. Now some of you I think all of us probably identified some things that we already are, we already embody. Maybe you're already really kind and you're a really good friend and you're already a really good baker, but one of the things you wanted to be was a more patient mother or more patient spouse, and that's an area where you're needing to do a little bit of work. Or let's say, for example, you're wanting to network a little bit more. You're starting your business and so you're wanting to know the network in your city, your local area, and so this week, what we're talking about is what gets in the way of us starting, why we aren't starting and why we aren't following through. So maybe you've identified what it is you want to do and who it is you want to do it for, but now you're like I don't know what's next, or I do know what's next and I'm not taking action on it. So we're going to break don't know what's next, or I do know what's next and I'm not taking action on it. So we're going to break that down a little bit today, because this, for me, is the number one reason why I see clients, number one reason why women come to me, is because they're wanting to start and they want help starting.

Speaker 2:

It's not that I think. Sometimes I do actually have a lot of women that come to me like I don't know where to start. I don't ever believe that I don't know where to start. I don't ever believe that. I don't believe that because them, even coming to me as a coach, they knew where to start Right. And so my job truly, I believe, as a coach, is to help them build that inner trust muscle. They already trusted to come to a coach. They already trusted to do the research. They already trusted that they would like to start.

Speaker 2:

And right now I'm working with an interior designer. I'm working with an event planner she wants to build an event planning business, an executive who wants to be a partner in her company, right? So different women that have different goals, but these goals require them to take action that they haven't taken before. And so when they're coming to me, it's not that they don't know what to do, it's that fear comes up. They don't want to waste their time. So let me get a coach, let me see the resources, so that I'm not over here flailing about and just completely winging it. Let me get somebody who can give me some guidance. I don't want to waste my time. That might be why you're not starting. Another reason why you might not be starting is because you don't want to look stupid. We've talked about this before.

Speaker 2:

You might have the thought I don't want to look dumb, I don't want to look stupid, I don't want to look silly, so I don't even want to try, right? I think that this often comes up with my creative entrepreneurs, especially the ones that want to be bloggers and influencers, because it requires you being vulnerable online. It requires you taking selfies of yourself and taking pictures of your food, whatever kind of influencer you are there's different kinds but it requires you to film your life, essentially, and share your life in a way that's vulnerable, and so these women will come to me and they're really excited about it. And, at the same time, there's this tug and pull of but will it be received in the way that I'm intending it to be received? So the underlying theme there again being I don't want to look stupid, I don't want to look dumb, I want to look glamorous, I want to look professional or I want to look those are usually the top two cool, right, I want to look, I want my content to be valuable, I don't want to look stupid, and so what goes hand in hand with that?

Speaker 2:

Another reason why you might not be starting is you don't want to fail, and you've heard me say it before. I don't remember where I got this from, but it's one that has stuck with me. Failure excuse me is simply getting unexpected results. Right. When we succeed in our minds we've gotten results that we expected. I'm successful because I sold this product. I wanted to sell it to 10 clients. I sold it to 10 clients. That was my expectation. It met my expectation.

Speaker 2:

A failure, then again, is simply when we get different results. Right, I wanted to sell it to 10 clients and I sold it to seven. And sometimes in our brain at that point even we're like, oh, I failed, I didn't get the 10. It's not that you failed, it's that you got different results. Or you could say, yes, I failed and not let it be so heavy, right, let it be that lighter meaning of I didn't get the results I expected. Cool, okay, right.

Speaker 2:

But that might be a reason why and that is a reason why people often don't start. And here's another one that came up for me You're just tired. I thought about my mamas. I was really thinking about the women that I work with, the women in my circles, and I have a lot of mothers in my circle right now and often they're just tired. It's not even that they don't want to waste their time. They don't want to look stupid, they don't want to fail. They actually have a lot of confidence about their product. They have a lot of confidence about their goal, but they're tired and so it's hard for them to put in the time to go to the gym. It's hard for them to put in the time to journal, it's hard for them to put in the time to start to build their side hustle when they're working full time and taking their children to X, y and Z and trying to be the best wife in the whole wide world and daughter and sister. And they're tired, right.

Speaker 2:

So I want you to check in for you. What else comes up for you, what is getting in your way from starting right? And again I'm talking to the person that knows what they want and has a general idea of what next steps are. It's starting the LLC, it's going to that meeting, it's reaching out to that friend, it's signing up for the dating app. Whatever your personal goal is, you know what the next step is. But what is getting in your way from then taking the action you want to take. That's the funny thing about it and that's why women end up coming to me is because there's this duplicity of I really want this thing. I really do want to be a blogger, I really do want to be a mother, I really do want to be a homeowner or an executive, but I'm afraid, and my fear is keeping me from taking the action I so deeply actually want to take. Right, so I just want you to check in and this is a really good one. If you're in the car right now, I would say save this one, pause it here so that you can sit down and actually reflect what is getting in my way of starting when I paused and I reflected a little bit more, these are the three things that came up for me, in addition to not wanting to waste my time, not wanting to look stupid, not wanting to fail or just being tired.

Speaker 2:

What else gets in my way, sometimes other people's opinions. This one is not so much a problem for me as much anymore, but it definitely used to be where, oh, I don't know what my mom is going to think. My mom, I think, is the biggest one for me. I am very concerned about my mother's opinion. I love my mother's opinion and I don't. I feel when we're in person and she and I have conversations I don't feel the need to bow down to her opinion or hide myself. But when I show up out in the world I do feel as though I am in a representation of her. So I'm very hyper conscious of how I'm showing up and how I'm representing myself, because she's paying attention to that right. So are other people's opinions of how you're showing up in the world keeping you from showing up in the world.

Speaker 2:

Is it a lack of planning that sometimes gets in my way? It's not even anything in the world. It's not other people's opinions, it's not my fear of failing. It's that I'm not even planning. It's like you have this idea. Let's say you have this idea to be going skiing. You want to be a skier, you want that's the new hobby you'd like to have. I want to pick up skiing and you know that you need to get skis and you need to take lessons and or, if you do live somewhere, you need to pick your mountain right. There's, there's planning to do and you just haven't done the planning. You haven't done it. It's just stayed this pipe dream in your brain of oh, I'd like to do that one day and what's getting in your ways? You're not actually taking the time to plan anything.

Speaker 2:

Tyler and I actually realized this recently because every single year the X games is in Aspen. Here we're in Colorado, the X Games is in Aspen and we always want to go every year and we watch it on TV every year and we live in Colorado. You know, it's not that far. I think it's about three hours from us and we never go. And so this summer, late spring, this year, I said to Tyler. I said, okay, if we're going, we actually need to make a plan. If we're going to go, we should probably look at tickets If we're going to go. He has an uncle that lives probably 45 minutes. It's like should we break up our trip and spend a little bit of time with him before the X Games start and then go up to Aspen and stay there? Do we do an overnight? Do we do two nights?

Speaker 2:

If we actually want to go to the X Games, we need to make plans. We need to look at hotels, we need to see what tickets are. We need it. All of this needs to happen. So that's what's been getting in our way. Is that getting in your way that you're just not even planning?

Speaker 2:

And here's the last one. This is what we're really going to focus on today. Is it your lack of follow through? Is it that you have a plan? You know exactly what you want to do. You want to learn a new language and you know how to do it. You're going to download an app that helps you learn this new language, and you've downloaded the app and you know what language you want to learn. And you know that you're traveling to this country in six months. You already bought the tickets, you're going and I'm talking.

Speaker 2:

I have had clients that have had this experience. Right, they have the plans, they're going, but they're not following through. Are you not following through? So we're going to break that down a little bit today. Why is it that you're not following through? If it's not because you don't want to waste your time, don't want to look stupid, whatever it is, maybe it's something else we're going to check in. I'm going to help you. My offering today is we're going to help you get through that uncomfortable spot of like. I really want it, but I'm just I'm not following through, I'm not taking the action.

Speaker 2:

The first thing I want to do is I want to remind you that your brain will experience fear or resistance anytime you do something new. This is something that I work with my women again and again with, and it's something that I have to remind myself of as well my coaches will remind me of this as well is that when we go to experience something new whether it's my best example is, anytime I go to an event I live in Denver anytime I go to a new event and I don't know where it is, my brain goes into fear. Where is this in Denver? Is this downtown Denver? Am I going to have to look for parking? Is there a parking garage? Do they have a parking lot? If there's a parking lot, is it going to be full? Is there street parking? Is it going to take too long? Should I get there 15 minutes before? This is what my brain does, and that's the fear and the resistance.

Speaker 2:

Every single time I go to a new event and I'm a social butterfly out here, so that's pretty often so my brain will go into hyperdrive, and now I recognize it right, being mindful, I know when my brain does it. It doesn't freak me out and it never talks me out of going to an event anymore because I expect it. I expect that my brain is going to freak out. I'm going to a new event, I'm going to a new place, I'm going to see new people. My brain's doing the brain thing and I just let it. It allows me to notice, it allows me to not make it mean anything. So check in Is your brain going into hyperdrive and you're making it mean I shouldn't go, I shouldn't follow through? It means that bad things are happening. Check in, right, I've noticed that. And for me, I've just made notice that I don't need to make it mean anything. That's just my brain doing the brain thing when I'm going to do something new. So in case you didn't know that, I want to offer that to you Anytime you do anything new, your brain will experience fear and resistance because your brain is wired to protect you.

Speaker 2:

Your brain is always trying to protect you. So when you're going to something new, it doesn't know what to expect and so it doesn't know what to protect you from. So our work as mindful students, as mindful humans, is to mindfully notice. Mindfulness is awareness without judgment. Notice those thoughts, do not judge them, don't freak out when your brain is feeling resistant. Remember what you're doing and follow through. So this is where we're going to. I'm going to give you some more steps. That's a really high level. Remember what you're doing and follow through. So this is where we're gonna. I'm gonna give you some more steps. That's a really high level. Remember what you're doing and follow through. Let's actually break that down, okay. So I'm gonna give you three tips to help you follow through.

Speaker 2:

When you're feeling that stuckness, when you're noticing your brain, ask all the questions and maybe you're feeling a little bit of a downward spiral. Here's what I'm going to offer you to help to pause that downward spiral and help you to upward spiral. As I like to say, first and foremost and these are not any aha things, these are lovely reminders, these are things that you already know first and foremost, remember your why. Remember your why, when your brain starts freaking out about going to that networking event, when your brain starts freaking out about going to that networking event, when your brain starts freaking out about how much it's going to cost for you to start the hobby of skiing, if that's important to you, or start whatever hobby you want to Maybe it's pottery making right. Your brain might freak out about how much it's going to cost to get all these tools and all these things right. Take a deep breath. Remember your why.

Speaker 2:

Why do you want to get started? Why do you want to learn pottery? Why do you want to learn a new language? Why do you want to get on the dating apps? Why do you want to build this business? Why do you want to dot, dot dot? Remember your why. Why is this important to you? This is something that I, again, am not is did not come up with. This is something you're going to hear almost any therapist, psychologist, motivational speaker, life coach tell you. Remember your why. Why did you start? Why is this important to you? And I think sometimes we have to give ourselves grace in this moment as well, that sometimes our why changes and sometimes, when we take a moment to check in and ask ourselves, why do I want to do this? You might not want to anymore. Maybe this is a dream that is no longer important to you.

Speaker 2:

I think that one easy example for me is being an actress. I wanted to be an actress so bad. As a child I was in theater classes. I begged my parents to take me to those. I lived in Orlando and so they'd have these radio commercials were like come and be on Nickelodeon, disney Channel, and I'd be like bring me to these auditions, please, please, please, please, please, bring me to these auditions. And my parents would never bring me. Now I'm an adult, right, and I get to decide if I'd still like to be an actress, right. And so, as I'm aging, I'm like you know what? That actually isn't a dream that I want anymore. When I go to check in on why do I want to become an actress and be on stages? I'm like I actually don't. I love being on stages, but I don't have a deep why around being an actress anymore, right, maybe it's that I want to use those acting and people skills in my coaching and speaking on stages and being a blogger and being an influencer. It's going to help me to be a public personnel but I don't actually want to be an actress anymore.

Speaker 2:

So all of that to say give yourself the grace to let your mind change. That may be some of the things that you said that you wanted before. You don't actually want anymore and that's okay. I just want to give that to anybody that needs it Now for the person that, no, no, no, this is what I. Okay, I just want to give that to anybody that needs it. Now for the person that, no, no, no, this is what I want. I want to be an R&B singer. I want to be an event planner. I want to be a mother. I want to be a wife. Remember your why. When you're going to those networking events, when you're going on all of those dates, when you're practicing that whatever app for language every day, remember your why.

Speaker 2:

Number two connect with your future self. Now, I've done a whole podcast episode on this, so go and listen to it. Connect with your future self. This is a really great way to move through your resistance, to move out of fear and into power is connect with your future self who has already done the thing. Connect with your future self who already has completed the thing. Connect with your future self who already has completed the goal, and what I love about that exercise is you can see where you are in your belief. Right, when I ask you to connect with your future self who's already married and has a lovely job that they enjoy and two kids, right, I'm going with a very generic life. I acknowledge that you make it whatever you want to. Do you believe that it's possible? Right, when I say go to the future version of you who has all of that, what happens to you? Is there resistance, are you like? Oh, I don't really believe it's possible. Notice, notice where you are in your belief, because that is driving everything. Your belief is driving everything.

Speaker 2:

If you don't believe you can have the thing you want, you're not going to follow through, and none of what I'm saying matters. So, first and foremost, do you even believe in the thing that you want? Right? Last week, we talked about the legacy. What do you want to be known for? Do you believe that you can be known for that thing and again, known for that by whoever you want to be known for? Maybe it's just yourself, but do you believe in the thing that you want? Do you believe that it's possible? Because if you don't, none of this matters. You will not show up, you will not follow through, you will sabotage yourself if you don't believe that it's possible.

Speaker 2:

Now, if you do believe that it's possible, here's a third way for you to continue following through that resistance. What if it goes really well? I love this question. What if it goes really well. I love this question. What if it goes really well? What if you go to that networking event and you meet three amazing humans who are with you on your entrepreneurial journey for the remainder of it? What if you go to that yoga event by yourself and you make your best friend? What if you do launch that event or launch that company and it does replace your full-time income and you can spend your hours doing work that is more fulfilling than the work you're doing right now? What if it goes really well? I love this question and it doesn't mean that it's going to, but it really helps to influence how we feel, how we walk into a situation and how the situation goes.

Speaker 2:

If we walk into something expecting the worst, oh, I always go to these networking events and nobody ever talks to me and they're always really boring and always really salesy. Your brain will look for evidence of that and you will have less fun versus if you decide you know I've been to a lot of networking events and they've been really kind of crappy, and then you know people are kind of weird. But I'm going to go to this one and I'm going to try again and maybe I make a promise to myself that, like, if this doesn't work, I'm not going to go to this type of networking event anymore. I'm going to try something else, but I'm going to go in believing that it's possible for me to make some really genuine connections with some really down to earth, health centered, heart centered, growth minded humans, right, and then your brain goes to look for evidence of that and you will have a better experience, even if you run into a bunch of more weird, crazy people. Right, at least you went in expecting the best. Therefore, your brain is tuned in to look for the best. Therefore, you will just have a better time. And if you even walk away with that you know people were still weird you will have learned. You will have learned how you don't want to be in the world. Right, it is still an opportunity. What if it goes really well? Right?

Speaker 2:

So the mindset we're going to play with here and this is how we're going to wrap it up I'm going to give you a tool. We're going to walk through this with us expecting it to go well, with us moving through our resistance expecting it to go well. Whatever your it is, I'm going to play with this tool, right? So it's a three-part tool and this is work that I do with all my women, and if you're interested in coaching with me, go to nannikamilcom. I'm very, very, very excited to work with all of my women. It's my favorite, it's so much fun. But the first thing I want you to do is notice the fear. Okay, so this is how we're going to wrap it all in a beautiful bow. You know what you want to do, right? You have made a plan. You know what the next step is. If you're wanting to trim up or feel more fit in your body, you know that you're going to meal plan and you're going to have a fitness plan where you're going to bar twice a week If it is your goal to meet.

Speaker 2:

Quote the one. You've decided to join a local trivia night once a week. You're also on one dating app and you've decided to start taking longer walks in your neighborhood in case you might run across somebody. Right? And let's say you're the business owner. I'm just giving different examples because these are different women that I work with. Let's say that you are wanting to start your business or your side hustle, and for you, the next step is starting your LLC, naming it, starting the social media for it and starting telling people about your business, telling people about what you do, right. Whatever example most resonates with you, pick your own, whatever speaks to your soul, right, use your own example.

Speaker 2:

I want you to expect that it's going to go well when we don't, when we slip up, because we will, first and foremost, notice the fear and give that fear a voice. Right, if your plan is to meal prep and to start going to bar twice a week, maybe the fear is I've never been to this bar studio. I don't know what the women there are like. I don't know if they're catty or if they're mean or if they're nice. I don't know what the instructor is going to be like. I don't know if they're going to go too fast. What if I pass out? Right, notice the fear and give that fear a voice. Let your fear speak. I think sometimes we get really nervous about our fear speaking. We're afraid that it's going to overcome us or it's going to take over, when really it usually alleviates us. If we give it a voice, it gives it space to breathe. So give your fear a voice, first and foremost.

Speaker 2:

Now, once you've given that fear a voice, here's the second step. What does your brave self, what does your best self, what does your future self or what does your mentor have to say about it? And I gave you four on purpose your best self, your brave self, your future self or your mentor. Okay, quick breakdown of those and, truly, if you already have an idea, run with it. Right, use your own definition your brave self, your bravest self, the one that shows up, the one that follows through, the one that's excited to follow through, what does that version of you have to say? This, I think, is a synonym for your best self.

Speaker 2:

But again, we have to go back and if you haven't taken the time to identify who your brave self, your best self or your future self is, this is going to be difficult. So that's why I offer that you sit down and truly get out a piece of paper, get out your computer, type it up and identify, reflect, sit down for a moment and decide who am I at my bravest? Who is my brave self? How does my brave self show up in the world? How does my best self show up in the world? Feel about themselves, see the world. How does my future self show up in the world? See the world, see themselves right. Identify that for yourself. And you don't have to use all three. Use the one that resonates with you, but identify that Because then, when you go to ask yourself that question, what does my best self do? You know that question can be easily answered because you spent time identifying what that means for you. Yes, that means work, my friends. I think that that is.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to pause for a moment and really emphasize that. Yes, that means spending 5, 10, 15, 30 minutes in your journal, in your computer, making sure that you have a quiet space for yourself, carving out time to check in and mindfully notice who am I, what do I want? Who do I want to be? This takes effort. This is not it. It sounds easy, but it does take effort. You have to close the door. You have to not necessarily lock people out, but metaphorically lock people out and take a moment for yourself and decide these things. You have to decide for yourself or you will continue to be influenced by other people. You will continue to not follow through because you don't know who you are, because you keep letting other people tell you who you are and I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that but that's not who I want to show up as.

Speaker 2:

I want to decide for myself who I am. And I want to show up in alignment with my best self as I have defined it. And it doesn't mean that I don't take in information from the world. I don't take in suggestions from my mom, from my sister, from my loved ones. But I want to know, first and foremost for me, that I've made the decision from the purest part of me, my childlike self, my best self. What do I want? What do I enjoy? Here's why Because from that place you are the most loving, you are the most magnetic, you are the most energetic.

Speaker 2:

When you are showing up in alignment with your best self, how are you? You're happy, you're joyful, you're peaceful, not a hundred percent of the time, but way more than when you're living by the expectations of other people, way more than when you're living in a way that's out of alignment with who you are. That's when we're cranky, that's when we're anxious, that's when we're just frustrated with the world and that's not helpful to other people. So I really, truly want to offer that you sit down and actually identify for yourself who is my best self, who is my future self, who is my brave self, and if you haven't, that's why I offer or what does your mentor have to say about it? Because sometimes that's easier If you haven't taken the time to sit down and identify that for yourself, maybe check in and who is your mentor?

Speaker 2:

And this doesn't always have to be an actual, like a sit down, one-on-one person that you meet with. This could just be somebody that you look up to, somebody that who who's already paved a path for you, who's already done the thing that you want to do. What would they say to you when you're struggling to follow through, when you're struggling to do the thing? What advice would they have for you? That's step two, step three for this tool choose what you're going to think on purpose. Decide, as a result of what your future self or your mentor had to say. What are you going to think on purpose? So, putting this into context of an event, a networking event or you want to join a community? Right, you've decided that that's the next step for you. You keep making plans to go to the networking event and canceling them. Or you keep thinking about this community that you want to join, but you're not taking the action to actually dive in and join this community, whether it's a virtual community or an in-person.

Speaker 2:

This is just an example that I'm using. Right, so the way that we would work through this. If you're this person and you're like, oh, I keep signing up for the event and canceling, and signing up for the event and canceling. Or if it's the fitness class, because I've been this person before, you're signing up for the bar class or the hit class or the orange theory class or whatever class, and you keep canceling it. Right, first things first. What do we say? Give fear a voice, right. What is fear saying In this example? Let's say you keep canceling the bar class, I'm going to look stupid, I don't know how to do this. If it's the networking event you keep canceling, I don't know how to do. Small talk might be the fear, right. Give fear the voice, give it a voice, give it some air to breathe. For a moment Two, what would your best self or your mentor have to say?

Speaker 2:

Right, for me, when I'm working with clients and they're wanting to go to networking events and they're feeling nervous about small talk, one of my easy offerings is I ask them to have two to five questions in their back pocket. I say Google small talk questions, right, or I'll give them some and I'll say have two to five in your back pocket. Then when you go into these networking events, you're not feeling like a deer in the headlights. You already know two to five questions that you can easily ask just about anybody in the room and it will invite them into a conversation. That will then invite more questions moving forward. Right, it makes small talk a lot more fun and easy, and I tell them to pick questions that are fun and easy for them.

Speaker 2:

What do you want to learn about people? What are two to five things that you want to ask? Right, that's what my mentor or their mentor might say to them. What would your mentor say to you? What would your best self say to you if you kept canceling the plans to go to the networking event? Or you kept canceling the plans to go to whatever fitness class? Right, what does your best self have to say? And then, from that place, what are you going to affirm? Right, it might be as simple as I got this right. Sometimes, that's all I need. I have to remember I got this, I got this, I got this, and I say that a few times and I believe it and I'm good, right.

Speaker 2:

Other times it's something a little bit more specific to, maybe that networking event where I would say something like that to myself or I'm fun to talk to, I am fun to talk to, because the fear was, oh, I'm awkward to talk to, I'm so awkward to talk to. I kept thinking that, right, and when we think that we feel that, when we feel that that influences our actions and therefore our results, and when I thought the thought I'm fun to talk to Instead, how does that make me feel? It makes me feel bubbly. It makes me feel bubbly, it makes me feel excited, and then from that place, I show up more magnetic in conversation, right, so what are you going to affirm as you're walking into this thing? That we're going to acknowledge this doesn't erase the resistance, it just helps us to walk through it. It helps us to not let the resistance get in our way from showing up for the thing that we want. So bad, right, you are going to feel funny at first, and that's okay. You are going to feel silly at first when you affirm things that maybe aren't don't feel very true right now, and that is okay.

Speaker 2:

I remember one of the very first affirmations I said to myself again and again when I first started my coaching business was women love to pay me. Women love to pay me. I got that one from Amanda Francis. She is a money wealth mindset coach Love her. I used to say all the time to myself it was before I had any clients whatsoever Women love to pay me. And here's where it came from. I knew that there was a future version of myself who served women at such a high level that my clients were excited to come to their sessions. They're excited to pay me, they're excited to show up, they're excited to do the work, because the work we do is so good and so transformational and improves their life in such a way that they are excited to pay me.

Speaker 2:

It's like when you go to Target and you are just like excited for the whole experience bullseyes little corner, you're excited to walk through and see what you find. You are excited to spend money there If Target's not it for you. Pick your store right, pick whatever it is, and I know some people are probably going like consumerism, but yo, that makes me excited. I love shopping. I didn't realize that until I was, I think, 29 years old. At my bachelorette party. Somebody wrote that down. What does Nandi like to do? Shopping? I was like you are right. Right, but it's that experience of I love going to Chick-fil-A and giving Chick-fil-A my money. I love going to Target and giving Target my money. I love going to my coaches. I love giving my coaches my money because I know that when I do the transformation that happens as a result of that exchange, it has only improved my life, right? And so before women were paying me, I was moving into that space of women love to pay me.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to affirm that and I'm going to show up in alignment with that belief. Right, that's the other part. That's where this comes out of the woo-woo and comes into discipline and action. Right, yes, you can affirm I'm fun to talk to, but then you have to believe it and then you have to show up like it and then you have to practice it and there will be times where you're still going to be awkward, but you have to continue to affirm where you're going. You have to continue to affirm the person that you're becoming, even when you're on your way to becoming them and you're stumbling and you're falling. Continue to get back up. Continue to affirm where you are going. Yes, you will feel crazy at first. I've had so many conversations with my queens where they're like Nadia, I feel crazy. I'm affirming this thing that has not manifested yet and I feel crazy. I'm like, but do you believe that it's happening and do you believe that it's yours? And some days it's yes, and some days it's a. You know, I don't, I don't really know. Meet yourself where you are, continue to affirm where you're going and continue to just give that voice of fear a voice. Give it a voice, but catch yourself and keep yourself from a downward spiral by pausing and remembering where you're going.

Speaker 2:

What if it goes well? I highly suggest that you save this podcast episode, my friends, this one. I feel so just excited about all of the content that's in it, and I'm really excited because all of this is going to be a part of my new accountability club. I'm rolling it out. Go to nandikamilcom, you will go and see it and is rolling out very well. It's rolling out now. I was going to say very soon, but I'm rolling it out now. I'm going to do an early bird special. Go and see it, nandikamilcom, to learn more about accountability club, just to help you follow through, help you have a safe community where you can be vulnerable and you can be seen and you can be pushed with love to do the thing you want to do. Do not let another year pass where you do not do the thing you want to do and also just be smothered in love by other people who are showing up and doing the dang thing too right. Okay, so go to nandikamilcom if you want to learn more and, as always, go to nandikamilasme to book your discovery call. All of this is in the show notes. So if you go into the notes or the description for this podcast episode, all of this will be in there, all of the links. And if you love this podcast, my friends, please give it a five-star rating.

Speaker 2:

I'm trying to grow this podcast. I'm trying to get more listeners. I'm trying to expand my brand and my reach. I am so passionate about what I do and I love helping women. It gets me jazzed. I get so freaking excited. So help me, help you, help me continue to do what I do.

Speaker 2:

I love this resource because it is a free resource and I pour my heart into this and I truly want people to be able to never, ever work with me and be able to listen to this podcast forever if they need to and get everything that they need. But if you want that next level of one on one support where is tailored to you in your life, come and visit me at nandikamilcom. Or come and visit me at nandikamil nandikamil on Instagram. We'll have some fun. My friends, I love sharing my life with you, all podcast. I would love it if you give us a five-star rating. Share it with your friends. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey go ahead to nandikamilcom to learn more or head over to nandikamilasme to sign up for your free discovery call.