The Hassle of Hair
The Hassle of Hair
THOH- College Drop Off
Dropping off our only child at the University of Texas was a whirlwind of pride, sadness, and excitement. Join us as we recount the pivotal conversations that led to her decision to attend university out of state and the rigorous process of guiding her through college applications. From her initial consideration of junior college to ultimately receiving multiple offers, including a full ride to Iowa State, we highlight the immense pride and accomplishment we felt when she decided on the University of Texas. This episode is a testament to the importance of resilience, adaptability, and unwavering parental support.
Our journey wasn't without its challenges. Listen in as we reflect on societal pressures and the internal conflicts that arise from comparing ourselves to others. We share personal experiences from attending a party in our early twenties to navigating new responsibilities in our relationships, all while motivating our daughter to aim for prestigious schools despite initial reluctance. Witness our family's educational background play a significant role in shaping our daughter's future and the joy of seeing her thrive in her new environment.
Finally, this episode is a heartfelt tribute to the support system that has surrounded us throughout this journey. We express deep gratitude for friends, community members, and special individuals like Ant Dogs and the Figueroa family who rekindled our passion and provided an environment of encouragement. Celebrate with us as we acknowledge the collective support that has been instrumental in our daughter's success and express our appreciation for everyone who has been part of our path. Hook'em!
https://linktr.ee/Thehassleofhair
We took you to school. Yes. You're finally free.
Speaker 2:Don't say it like that.
Speaker 1:So you're finally free.
Speaker 2:Don't say it like that.
Speaker 1:You're finally without a kid.
Speaker 2:Am I.
Speaker 1:No, but you're free from having to take her to school, free from having to make sure she's eating. These are responsibilities, like a little responsible. Well, most responsibilities have been put on her. Now you don't have to deal with them anymore. Not that that it's a bad thing, but like you dropped her off, we were sad, we were, we were devastated, like, like, to be honest, like I wouldn't say devastated, but I was sad, I was super sad. Like it was like a weird feeling because, like she's going to University of Texas, like the odds of that happening were super low yeah and it happened like, but like.
Speaker 1:How do you feel you created her?
Speaker 2:I feel happy, I feel sad, I'm excited for her. Like Like this is a big, a big step in her life. Like this, this, this is going to be a journey for her. Like we're in California and she's all the way in fucking Texas, like she has no friend. Well, she has friends out there, but I'm saying like she has no family out there, just whatever friends she makes friends out there, but I'm saying like she has no family out there, just whatever friend she makes. Like there's a few people we know, but it again it's not family.
Speaker 1:you know, like being so far from your only child, that's very hard it's crazy because, like I'm not saying that, I'm the reason why she's going oh here we go. No, no, but I'm not saying that I don't want that, this was just part of it, and you hear me talk about it, and it was such a weird feeling, that moment, when we were sitting down at the table, and when was this the beginning of her senior year?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say probably around like like august, september of last year, so about a year ago. Yeah, she had sat down and she was like we've been talking about like college, like when are you gonna apply? What are you gonna apply to?
Speaker 1:yeah, college like texas and apply and universities weren't even a thing yeah, no.
Speaker 2:Well, we've always talked to her about like, hey, your senior year is gonna come. What? What are you going to do? You're going to go to college. Obviously that was like a given, like you were going to go to college, like it wasn't like you weren't going to take a year off. You weren't like it was like your college is the only option. That was, the only option was college and of course we'll help her any way we can. But at some point we were like, okay, like where are you going to apply to, where do you want to go? And then her mindset was like I'll just stay here and go to Merced.
Speaker 1:College yeah, we sat down. Why did we even sit down that day?
Speaker 2:Because I had talked to her and I was like, oh, like, do you plan on? Because it was coming times where you could do early acceptance.
Speaker 2:So you it was coming time for you could do early acceptance. Early acceptance, so you had to like, go on, fill out all the stuff you needed, write your essays. You needed to turn in, like you needed to do that, and she was just like I don't think I'm gonna go and I was just. I was like kind of upset about it but I was just like okay, we'll talk about it later and then me, and you talked and talked to you and I was like she doesn't want to go to any, she doesn't want to apply to any colleges, she just wants to go.
Speaker 2:Oh, she had said I'm gonna go to Merced for two years and then I'll transfer out to a college. I don't even know, I don't even think she had a college in mind. She just said I'll go here for two years and then I'll transfer out. And I was like, no, why are you gonna put all that work at a two-year, like to go for two years and then transfer to university or something? No, like that. No, like that's not going to happen. That's the name of my eye. And then I talk to you and you're like, no, that's definitely not going to happen. So we were on the same boat about it. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I don't know if she was like discouraged or she just didn't want like, because the thing is like she's literally have gotten straight A's all through from beginning, like fourth or fifth grade, up until her senior year. She literally probably got like one B like her, I think, her sophomore year or her junior year. Other than that, she's gotten A's like she's worked really hard, she's did sports, she did clubs, she did yeah, it wasn't even just the grades.
Speaker 1:Like she got a 4.2 she did, but what else?
Speaker 2:but it was doing everything, classes like she's helping out the the she did stat, she was a stats girl stats for the for the wrestling team she helped out for the the um, like the musicals yeah, she was yeah and she always helped out for everything.
Speaker 1:She was always doing something I have to go early.
Speaker 2:I have to help set up or I'm going to stay late.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna help clean up yeah, and like I understand, like she's having fun, but at the same time, like like these, like she's leading to something better, and that's always been my mindset, even since the day first day I met you. Like I was like okay, if I'm going to be part of their life, then things need to move forward constantly. And you were the same way, like you told me like hey, if you're going to be with me, this is the only thing that matters.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when we first got together, I said Eva comes first, no matter what. I'm sorry if you don't feel the same or whatever, but she's going to be the first priority and that's how it's going to be. Yeah, and I told you the beginning of her what her senior year, like eva senior, is coming. My main focus is just going to be on that and get this girl to college, like she's literally going to be on my main focus for the rest of her senior year yeah, so we sit down and like you have like a stern talk with her and she's crying, yeah, and but that's the thing.
Speaker 2:Like I don't know why she decided like wait, like nothing against jc's, nothing against the merced college or stanislaus or any of the colleges here around there. It's just I didn't see that for her future. Like I know her potential, I've seen all the stuff that she was doing and I'm like you you, you put in all this work to not apply to universities yeah like that doesn't make any sense. Like you literally stayed up 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock at night. You were home on the weekends doing homework.
Speaker 1:It's not us having her do that, it's what she decided she wanted to do yeah you know like she got all her stuff done when she was supposed to but it's like I feel like that was that was like a key moment where we like there's a few key moments when you took her to, when you took her to yale yeah, that was.
Speaker 2:That was fun. That was like literally right before the pandemic we went to Yale, we went to Connecticut and she stayed there for a week, like in the dorms and everything like that.
Speaker 1:But there's all these like because I'm never going to be like a dad as in like with a biological kid, but like there's these key moments that you need to step as, like I'm looking back at parenthood, I'm looking back at how we got Eva here and I'm like there's there's certain times where, as a parent, you need to say this is the only thing that matters.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it seems so easy. It seems so easy, but when you really look at it, it's like make more money full-time job, or does the kid come first?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Do I go out and have fun? I'm tired, I want to go have fun or does the kid come first? Yeah, or sacrificing, like relationships, jobs, like all these things to get to your kid, to show support for your kid, meaning like baseball games, softball games, football games, basketball games, getting them to point a to point b and always being there, like I could say, I could a hundred percent say throughout eva's life, since I've been here watching you. I wasn't there before, but there was me and you. There was always. When she needed a ride, when she needed something, there was, we were always there yeah, do you know?
Speaker 1:what I mean, like we got it done yeah does that make sense, like? And that's why, when sitting sitting down with her, she's like oh, I'm gonna go to junior college, like all that, all that's way, like all these things. Like you, she worked her ass off, we worked our ass ass off. It's like no, if you're not going to go to junior college, I even told her if you're not going to go to college, go travel. I think I told her go travel or go do something.
Speaker 2:Something she wanted to do.
Speaker 1:If she wanted to go do something she wanted to do and she's all. I don't want to go to Texas, I would have been fine with that. Or if she didn't want to go to university, I would have been fine with that If she didn't want to do that route. But junior college just seemed like a step back for her Because, like, you're kind of just wasting, why did you get a 4.2 to get into junior college? You see what I'm saying. Yeah, it's crazy. Like I don't know, I just Every time I yelled at her because I did yell at her. Wow, I did yell at her, wow, you're a bully.
Speaker 2:I don't think you yelled at her. I just think you talked to her very stern. I've never really seen you raise your voice at her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but every time I get serious with her because most of the time she just balls out crying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she just just 90 of the time like everything was crying and she didn't want to talk to you anymore yeah, even when she was younger.
Speaker 1:Like it's just 90 of the time. I'm joking around all the time, it's just. There's very certain things that I'm very passionate about that I need to happen, you know, but no, do you like? Do you remember what?
Speaker 2:we, so this is the thing she applied. She applied in what december? The end of november, beginning of december for early acceptance, I think. Or she missed the deadline for early acceptance and then so we kind of been on her like, hey, you can apply, you gotta apply, you gotta apply for colleges, you gotta apply to this. And then we started getting stuff for her for like asu and uh iowa iowa state asu oklahoma oklahoma state, all state schools yeah, all state schools.
Speaker 2:And then they were offering like like iowa state was a full ride yeah they were offering like scholarships and grants and stuff like that for for her to go there. And then she applied to texas and I was like okay, like kept pushing, like oh, you're gonna do any California colleges like Stanford. But Stanford wasn't, uh, didn't have what she was going to school for, like they weren't offering what she needed, like because she's going for kinesiology. So she was just like no, and then she applied to Michigan and she hurried up and applied to Michigan and she got her acceptance into Texas. So it was either accept Texas or pass on it, because she had to be accepted by a certain date or wait to see if she got into Michigan. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And she, just like I, already have my mind set on Texas and I don't think I'm going to get into Michigan and but my thing is like, well, you got into Texas, going to get into Michigan, and but my thing is like, well, you got into Texas, you might get into Michigan, so who knows? But she didn't get into Michigan and she got into Texas. So I think the last few months is like I never really post things like I mean yeah, I post pictures.
Speaker 2:I post like things that we do like at, like the photo booth or most of the time it's me yeah, like hey, hey, post this, hey, hey, you gotta post this, hey, and it's not that I'm a private person, I just I don't want, I, I don't really I don't want to say brag, but I feel like the most I've ever bragged or like posted or anything has been like the last few minutes when she got into texas, because it it's as a parent, you, you feel happy, you feel like you accomplish things like you feel, like you, you got your child there to where they need it to be dude what do you see me crying?
Speaker 2:I can't cry. My eyes are gonna fall off to fall off. But it's a great experience. It's like joy, it's like damn, because I didn't go to college.
Speaker 1:I went to a little bit of junior college.
Speaker 2:I mean, I went to trade schools but, that's about it. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:And it's like Nothing compared to what she's doing right now yeah, like technically like from within my family, like my sisters and stuff like that, and our kids, like eva, is the first to go off to university yeah like her cousin, she did get into, uh, stanislaus state. Um, she's going for nursing and stuff like that. So that's a big accomplishment too for her. But, um, you know, for my family it eva's the first kid to go off to university like somewhere out of state yeah like and it I.
Speaker 2:She's a likable kid and I'm like man. Like if she didn't make any friends in orientation, like I don't know how she would be surviving out there. Like I don't, I mean, if she could make friends, I know that, but if I don't think if she would have made any friends in orientation, I don't think she would. She can make friends, I know that, but if I don't think if she would have made any friends in Orientation, I don't think she would have been able to make any friends right now and not until like a few more months, you know, like where everybody's a little bit like more comfortable with each other. Yeah, you okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm just thinking I'm just thinking just you can come down.
Speaker 2:I'm just thinking of, I'm just, thinking of just you can come down.
Speaker 1:I'm just thinking of, of Like when I first came into your life.
Speaker 2:You first came in and never left.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when I met, when I met, like when I met Eva, like to this day I still remember that day Like very vividly.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:When I met Eva and you brought me, and you brought her to Starbucks. Okay. And she came in and I met her and she's all goofy and laughing and the same way she is now yeah, and, and like I met her and like I remember driving home because I, we, I got out of work and you're like okay, I'm gonna leave now. And you guys walked me out and we took two separate cars and we were it was off of the one by the Home Depot.
Speaker 1:Timberloop, so San Jose Timberloop by Landis in Southside San Jose. I used to work at that Starbucks over there and we're coming outside to get on Capitol Expressway. I was turning left, you were turning right.
Speaker 2:Damn, you don't remember anything but you remember that?
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, and I remember her waving at me Like from the backseat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you like pointed at me and you were waving at me. This is the first time I met her. This is like I barely met you. And then, when I met you, I was like at a weird stage in my life where I was like I'm I'm partying like crazy, like you know, and and I remember driving away and I just like I was like okay, I'm doing this, you know I'm doing, like this is what I'm doing. Like she has a kid, like it. It never. It always struck me as in like okay, this is a responsibility, like I need to be a good person. You know, I need to be a good person if you're going to do this, if you're going to be with this woman, because you're a woman. I was a boy. Does that make sense? Like I was 22. Like you had responsibilities, I didn't have responsibilities, woman.
Speaker 1:Like you were a woman and multiple men had reached out. I was like, hey, jesse, if you're going to do this, like you were a woman and I and multiple men had reached out. I was like, hey, jesse, if you're gonna do this, like you have to understand that this is a serious thing yeah, like you're not only affecting.
Speaker 1:You're not only affecting her life if you break up with her yeah you're affecting this little kid's life, yeah, and that always stuck with me and it stuck with me. And then looking at other stepfathers and fathers and if, like I, when I see a bad father, like I can't, I can't you don't have respect it's not well, I don't have respect, but I can't trust you. You know I can't trust you. You know I. I would say that I had a. Well, my mom passed away. Okay, I had a bad father. Okay, you know.
Speaker 1:So I come from that background and then so I think the people talking, the men in my life talking to me, and then me growing up with that, and I was like, okay, I need to be there you know I need to be there.
Speaker 1:You know I need to be there and it was like so from the moment I met you till now. Like has always been leading up to this. I didn't know what in the beginning, I didn't know what it was. I didn't know it was as big as this, like I didn't know like your daughter would be getting into texas. I know, like university of texas, but I knew that we were you know what, but for the longest time she was always saying I'm gonna be a florida gator yeah, I'm gonna be a florida gator.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna go to florida, I'm gonna play softball, I'm gonna be a gator, and for the longest time, that's where she wanted to go yeah I don't, she didn't apply there yeah but then she applied and but ever since she was small remember like college days they would have the kids wear like uh shirts and stuff she'd always wear her florida gator shirt and then now she's a longhorn and so I mean it was, I think the mindset for like college was kind of there, and then it just, I don't know, maybe she didn't want to leave, maybe that's why she didn't want to go off like to university or apply.
Speaker 1:Huh, I think I get so emotional about it. Like every time we bring it up it's because, like I, just like I I don't know, like I knew something was coming that was good. I'm always working, always working for it. Like because I knew I wasn't in when you drive from FedEx, like there's nothing, I'm not putting anything shameful on it, you shouldn't be ashamed working there. But at the same time, it's not like you're college educated, it's not like you have this good job that's paying $100,000 a year. Like driving there, I knew I was like, yeah, I'm a FedEx driver, but when you go, we've always been that young, the young couple the young parents.
Speaker 1:Well yeah, when we would go around Eva's I mean, I'm a woman, you're young, so when we'd go around Eva's, especially that first party, yeah, that first party you invited me to and you didn't know bowling yeah, yeah, and I would see all these other men and you could tell they were they were definitely in their 30s, like late 30s, and we were like 30s, you were early 40s they were. They were definitely in their 30s, like late 30s, and we were like Late 30s. You were early. No 40s, they were in their 40s.
Speaker 2:But no, they were. That's what I'm saying, like late 30s. Some of them were probably, yeah, in their 40s. Yeah, they're late 30s. You were in your early 20s. I was in my, looked young yeah like and I'm not saying like I look so young or I'm like the youngest person ever, but when I tell people I have a kid, they look at me weird and they're like how old are you?
Speaker 1:dude. We went to the orientation and everybody's in their late 40s yeah, all the parents like what the fuck like?
Speaker 2:I mean I'm in my late 30s you're in your early 30s, mid 30s.
Speaker 2:But like when I tell people, oh, I have a child in college now, and then they give me the word, look like hold of you. And I look at them like I didn't have her when I was 12, you know, and I'm like, oh, I'll tell them my age, like, oh, I'm 38 and I'll take she's 18. And then they're like, oh, you look really young. And I was like, oh, thanks, I appreciate that, you know. Like, but when I, how old are you?
Speaker 1:but when you went to these, like when we went to that first party, this is how crazy I am, like I'm super internal. Right, we talked about it like I'm super internal you forever talk about this party well, it's just it's.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna tell you why okay go on so, like I'm super internal, I'm always thinking instead of like being in the present instead of being present time, and like absorbing everything that's happening instead of doing that and being normal. I'm always like thinking like inside. I'm always like jesse, what's jesse doing wrong? Or or thinking in my head just looking and observing and looking at those people that we were around, like we get to that party. I'm 22. Uh, I'm not educated, I'm not my. I don't have a good job because I wasn't working at fedex you weren't working.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you were gonna starbucks yeah, and I could.
Speaker 1:I maybe they weren't judging me, but at the same time I could feel like let's just say they were upper class, they weren't lower class I mean they weren't upper class people. But like they weren't what we come from. Okay, does that make sense? Like we grew up when we talk about what we grew up with.
Speaker 2:Okay, anyways, just get to your story.
Speaker 1:But like they. So I'm looking around and I'm like man. Like these people have it together. Like am I ever going to have it together? Like I'm like man. Like these people have it together. Like am I ever going to have it together Like I'm 22. I don't think I can get to that Right, like it's just so. I'm always like thinking inside Like you don't think like that, huh.
Speaker 2:I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about, right? Now Like you're not even telling me what you're saying. I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about right now.
Speaker 1:You're not even telling me what you're saying so, I'm saying like when I went to that party, like I'm thinking about those, about the people, like their lives. Okay.
Speaker 2:About like what they went through, like and then like they're successful.
Speaker 1:But why would that even cross your mind, though? Because I was 22, and I'm looking at these people and I'm like am I ever going to get there?
Speaker 2:So you're comparing yourself to them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which you already know, I always do. Yeah uh-huh, right, and it's like you always tell me, don't compare yourself to people. But it's like I'm like it's not even comparing.
Speaker 2:I'm it's not even comparing. I'm like looking at them and I'm like how did they get there? I don't, I don't see, I don't do that. I do like I don't try to compare myself to people like why do they have that and I have this kind of. Thing I do like, say like, oh well, like, like, how do I say, like I? Just I don't think like that, like I, I don't. I don't try to compare myself to people and be like, but it's not even just comparing myself.
Speaker 1:I'm like looking at them and like, like I have all this responsibility generational wealth, g-dubs. But I, I have all this responsibility now, like I was 22 and I'm getting to a point, I promise because the orientation was just like that okay, we'll get to your point.
Speaker 1:Hurry up, please, because this is going to be a longer than an hour podcast, if you continue talking but, like I went to, I went to that party with eva. Okay, we went to that party and I'm looking at them and because I have all this responsibility now, okay like were we married yet or no, we were just dating we were just dating, okay, okay, but in my head like I know she's not my blood and I know she's not my kid and I she's not your kid and I came. I came in at a time when, like Things were going on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, things were going on and but I always felt like I wanted to do this. I wanted to.
Speaker 2:Be a part of her life.
Speaker 1:Be a part of her life. I wanted to make it better. Okay, I wanted to Like I want, like. I've always had that feeling.
Speaker 2:Not that you wanted to make it better, but you wanted to like I want like I've always had that feeling, not that you wanted to make it better, but you wanted better things for her yes, and I never, because it wasn't a bad situation I never want.
Speaker 1:Like there's some people that tell me like man, I want a kid, I want a family, I want I wanted this. I never wanted that. I was I'm, I'm chaos, I'm chaotic, like I'm always just like going 150 miles per hour doing a bunch of stuff. Like Eva's the only thing in my life where I knew like I wanted to do this and nothing could steer me away. Okay, whatever that ADHD, whatever's going on in my head, where I'm always constantly doing other shit, it was the only thing in my life where I was just solely focused on and this was the only thing. And then so I always, when I saw these people, I was like, how do I get that? How can I bring this to you guys? And it's all these little, there's little things like that, like growing up with you guys, because I did, like I went from a boy to whatever I am now.
Speaker 2:He was of age when we started dating guys.
Speaker 1:But like, and so flash forward right.
Speaker 2:Flash forward to orientation.
Speaker 1:To orientation when we go, look at the University of Texas we go see the school and I'm looking around and I'm looking at all these parents, right, some of them educated, Some of them went to that school, went to texas, did you hear you weren't there.
Speaker 2:Let me tell you something for fast yeah oh, we were in the co-op and we're checking out and there was a dad that was checking out and he was like this is out of my family, my daughter's 11th person to come to university of texas yeah he was like I came, my siblings came, my dad came, my grandpa came, uh, my son. I'm just saying son. I don't know if he was the son. He's like my daughter's 11th person from my family to come to the university of texas I was like oh, my lord yeah, and that looked like generational wealth right there
Speaker 2:though but like looking at all that and look at us like I'm still the same okay what I realized was like like we did it our own way and we yeah, but and that's the thing too, like I've always told you, there's no right way of doing something or wrong way. It's just your way of doing it, like you don't have to do society's way. You know, like there is no correct way of doing anything, unless you're cooking, maybe.
Speaker 1:You're talking about life.
Speaker 2:Life, yeah.
Speaker 1:There's no correct way. But our life was like it was very unsure, like there's no one there where we wanted to get to and we still want to get to no one's. We have to find these. They're not blood. They're not blood relatives. They're not blood. They're not family they're. They're people we find out in the world that have gone through similar what we have and trying to build something, trying to get their kids to a better life when they didn't have a good life, or or trying to start a business from scratch and didn't have a generation, generational wealth or or mentors from the beginning, like their parents started businesses. Like we had to find people that weren't family.
Speaker 1:And that's the difference between some people were like people, were like man. I didn't, I didn't have it easy like they, they I could sit down and blame the world and none of this would have got done. You know, I mean you could have sat down and blamed the world and none of this could have got done. But because there's something in you where you're curious and you want to, you found people to help you. We found our own way. We found our own way of doing things and it was, it was just a key moment in my life like going from going to that party with you to dropping her off at college dropping off at college.
Speaker 2:It was just because, like a lot of stuff that I grew up and things like that, I'm not going to get into it, but her getting into a university, I would tell you, like this doesn't feel real, this doesn't feel like reality. I would say we live in a simulation. A simulation like this is real. It's not a simulation because you don't expect that. You know what I mean. Like you don't expect your daughter to get into a new university like I would have. I like I expected her to go to college, but I didn't think it was going to be Texas. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, Like if she didn't get into Texas she said she would have went to ASU.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Because that was an offer that they had given her but like, like when you say it doesn't feel like reality, like is it just a college thing or is it just all of it getting in.
Speaker 2:It's the experience, the college experience. It's the living away from your parents at 18 but for you I'm saying no, but that's what I'm saying, like, and she she's like, what were you doing at my age and I was, like kid I I think I was still in high school, I was probably pregnant, like I don't know. You know, like that's what I was doing at 18, like definitely not thinking about college.
Speaker 1:I was, uh, like I think we even talked about it like looking around, because looking around the campus, when we dropped her off, even at orientation, it was like, oh, all these kids they're all 18 to 21 running this, like all these programs yeah, the programs yeah like not the programs, but like the, the orientation the check-in like it's all a bunch of kids that are 18 21s.
Speaker 1:Eva's peers are almost her age and I told you I was like my first job was overnight at. One of my first jobs was overnight at Target and my one of my first friends outside of high school was a 31 year old uh, drug addict. Like he was 31 and we'd we'd go out to eat after after. Target yeah, after after overnight at Target and I was 18, and the people I worked out at Target with were immigrants, drug addicts, like misfits from the world. That's what my surrounding was Eva's 18, and she's.
Speaker 2:Surrounded with teenagers and people that are drinking of age, of drinking age. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Teenagers and people that are drinking of age, of drinking age.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you know it it's, that's, that's, that's another mind. Fuck it. It really makes you think about like, not only am I happy for her, but it just makes me. Makes me proud of myself because I know we didn't, or proud of both of us because we didn't get that. Yeah, we didn't get that and we still made it. We still made something happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the thing is like we weren't tough on her. Yeah, that kid little we would tell it Literally could do whatever she wanted. She didn't have a curfew. No, she could have went out and hung out and partied or went with her friends or you know, she didn't have a curfew at all. Her thing was like I think probably the latest she's ever came home was maybe like 11 or 12. Other than that, it's like we never were hard on her to do, like we weren't tough parents. You know, like we always that that open relationship with her, like where we could talk to her about things and stuff like that, or she could talk to us about things, but we weren't like very strict parents yeah, but it was never yeah strict.
Speaker 1:We were never strict.
Speaker 2:No, I I I'm like you're grounded. She's like huh, yeah, right, I don't go anywhere you, you.
Speaker 1:We never really talked about like parenting styles or like parenting philosophy, but in my head, like I always knew because I was around there were, there were certain like girls I was around growing up where their parents were super like strict, strict and I feel like those girls were probably like. That's what I'm saying. They were the worst. They were the worst.
Speaker 2:They were probably like the worst. They were probably the ones that were ditching school Smoking in the bathroom. Making out Having hickeys.
Speaker 1:But at the same time, even the kids that were doing good in school but they were, they were like their, their parents were strict and they were doing good in school. Like that wasn't healthy either. Yeah, like from what I've seen, yeah, and so like when, when they became, when I started having more of a of a parenting role with you, because it didn't happen overnight it took a while.
Speaker 1:It took a while um it's still sometimes too, but like it to me it was like you know what? Let her, let her see what do we do? Trust her at all costs. Trust her when she fucks up, like when she fucks up. Guide her into the direction she needs to be and then I told you so don't yeah. And then don't trust her as much.
Speaker 2:When it comes the same thing, don't trust her as much the thing now is she's 18, so it's she's her own person. So regardless, like we don't have to trust her, but that's why it should be set it's it's she's her own person, so regardless, like we don't have to trust her, but that's why it should be set it's, it's she's her own person, like she's an adult. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like but that's a great like now thinking it's a great point on. This is why you shouldn't be so strict on them, because once they, once they get into the real world, they get into being by themselves. They have to make these decisions for themselves. You're not there, yeah. So if you're constantly making the decision for them when they're young, I don't give a fuck what the consequence is Like. Then they're not going to be able to make it when they're outside of your house. Yeah, there is no consequence you can't come back from Like there's no. I think a lot of. When people are super strict on their kids, it's because they think the worst is going to happen if they fuck up.
Speaker 2:Like the worst is going to happen to their kid, or their kid is going to do the worst.
Speaker 1:Both. Okay, they think the worst is going to happen and their kid can't come back from it. Okay, the worst could happen, like from fighting to sports. Like you get hit fucking hard and you just stop going. Like in my head it's like so what you're trying?
Speaker 2:to say basically anything can happen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you have to be able to adjust. Happen, yeah, and you have to be able to adjust.
Speaker 2:you have to, you have to be able to make a your kid has to be able to make a failure and has to be able to have to be able to fail and come back from that.
Speaker 1:That's greater than getting a bunch of a's getting being the top of their class best sports kid, like being super good at sports, when your child could go from making a huge mistake to they don't have to fix the mistake. But getting back up and still pushing forward, like that to me, is like, is greater than anything, because that's that's life. Like you've, you've helped me out so much. Because, like, there's so many times I'm making I make a mistake and like you're like, just forget it, just forget it, keep going like or like, because I dwell on it too much, yeah, you do it would take over your life, like it would.
Speaker 2:You would be, you would be, you'd be laying on the couch, probably crying no, but like you're saying, like top of their class. But like we when we found out evil was what top eight percent, six percent, top what she was, top eight percent of her class top six percent of her class. She was top 6% in her class, like we knew she was doing good. But to hear that I was like, wow, like that was great, you know. Yeah, out of how many kids? 400?
Speaker 1:600-something Seniors, I don't know no, 600-something.
Speaker 2:It was like 450 seniors or something, but she was top 6%. And then when we looked to see like how many out-of-state students get into Texas, it was what like 8% or something like that. Yeah. It was like a very close number to where she was at of students from out-of-state get into Texas and it was like, whoa, that was great hearing that too, because it was like we did something great, we did something amazing. Yeah, yeah. So that too, because it's like we, we did something great, we did something amazing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah so this is her first week. It's been a week since we dropped her off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is her first week of being at school by herself and I don't want to get into what she's doing.
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna say that I'm not saying that, but I'm just saying this is her first week. Yeah, she did go to a football game, though we could say that yeah, I don't know the other stuff, but you know she's out there living her best uh, her best life and we we like and we talk all the time, every day yeah, we, we I feel bad, though hold on, because, like I'm in these, these mom groups on facebook and these parents are writing about their kids on there.
Speaker 2:Like my kids don't even call me, they don't text me, they only ask for money. Like I have to say, send me a proof of life, like a picture, and hear me and her talking for an hour FaceTiming the other day. Or, like you know, we'll text here and there. Or like you know, like we, we talk. It's not like we haven't talked since she's been there. Yeah. So I'm very thankful for that, Like, what did you say the way you? What did you tell me?
Speaker 1:Someone at work. The way you treat your kids, the way you treat your kid at home, yeah, and once they, once they leave, is the way they're going to treat you once, yeah, the way you treat your kid at home is the way they're going to treat you when you they leave like for college or leave, yeah or leave yeah you know and I'm so. But never mind, I'm not going to say anything, so she well, that's it, she just she communicates with me and I'm surprised, I'm happy.
Speaker 2:You know, that was my worst fear even if it's her just picking on you that was my worst fear, like I'm gonna start tearing up dude, dude no, that was like.
Speaker 1:My worst fear is like her leaving. It's like oh, that's, that's my stepdad. Delete block. Yeah, you know like but, like a lot of people was like they had told me. It was like, aren't you scared? Because, like, what happened? This is what happens Every conversation I have with people that either didn't do anything with their degree or they always have an opinion right. So and these are multiple people that I've Okay. And it's not like I'm walking around saying, hey, my daughter got into Texas.
Speaker 1:No, I'm telling everybody the conversation got brought up and I go oh yeah, my daughter got into Texas, she's going to school. And all of a sudden you could just tell who. When people have regrets, like I see where they're coming from, but it's like oh, you don't understand. Like you you don't understand my way of thinking or my daughter's way of thinking. They, they, they're like oh yeah, I didn't even use my degree like or school was a waste of time, school was a scam.
Speaker 2:Did you try? Yeah? Like not trying to be mean, but I'm like my child is not you like yeah, like they put expectations on a piece of paper because that's what they're doing.
Speaker 1:Like if they expect they have these expectations of a paper giving them a better life. Like that's not why I'm sending eva to university of texas. Like I'm not expecting a piece of paper to give eva a better life. What I'm doing is saying you you worked your ass off, so here's your opportunity to do something great. If you want to do something great, you can. If, if this paper doesn't give you what you always wanted, there's stuff outside of school for all we know, she might even just change her, her major her major like she might not even want to do that.
Speaker 2:She might want to do something else and might not want to go to school anymore yeah, might not want to go to school anymore.
Speaker 1:This could, this could be one year and done. Yeah, but it's not. I'm not putting an expect.
Speaker 1:I'm not putting an expectation on what she's going to do after school to me this is, this is a product of if you work your ass off, you get opportunities. It's basically that like it goes for everything. Yeah, I hope she understands this and that's what I hope, hopefully, she gets is if she continues to work her ass off, she's not going to be successful. That's not going to be the weight of her success. It's just, if she continues to work her ass off, she's gonna get opportunities and she's gonna get life experience, and that that's greater than anything like.
Speaker 2:it's just like I see her going far though yeah, and I don't care I don't care if you care? No, but I don't care if she goes like I see her going far like just in general with life and her career, Even if it's not what she's going for. You know what I mean. Like I just see her succeeding. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And, dude, this has me like, honestly, like this, has this whole experience of like taking her orientation, taking her to school, her doing her, like, this whole experience it's turned my life upside down.
Speaker 2:Did a whole 180?
Speaker 1:180. Think like. It made me like, really like, think about like life and and like, think about where I started and think about everybody else, you know, and it caused me like we've been talking. It caused me to to stop being so. I'm not, I haven't stopped. It caused me like we've been talking. It caused me to stop being so, I haven't stopped. It made me think about how I am and how I'm always thinking about what I need to do better, what? How do I go forward? Always being internal and starting to be in the moment and think about, instead of thinking like, okay, what do I need to do to make it better?
Speaker 1:yeah I start thinking. I need to change my thinking and start thinking okay, what is cow? How can cow get better? How can cow like? How do I help cow? Get better each other yeah, how do I help cow get better? Yeah, it's not about me like and it's hard, it's hard not to be about you no, no, it's hard not to think like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I know it's not about me, but it's hard to think like, instead of thinking like what do I need to do to get better? Put it this way I'm just my job right the I work at a bar, I supervise a bar, and it's something that was. It's something I never really thought I would be doing, so I didn't really like plan on to be doing it, but it's teaching me a lot. It's teaching me a lot and I'm surprised when you got that job I'm like who trusted this guy with this position?
Speaker 1:but it's teaching me a lot. It's teaching me instead of thing, because now, as when you're looking, when you're looking over something, instead of thinking that you have to what you have to do better, you have to. You have to try to get somebody else to do better. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:yes and you can't fix it anymore. You have to allow that person to fix it and or you have to grow as a team. It's not a uh, it's not an eye anymore, it's a we, it's a we. It's not a I anymore, it's a we, it's a we. And it's so simple and cliche, but it's so stupid. It's so cliche, right, but if you start to think like that, there's no I in team.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it's so cliche but like it's so cliche. But when you really really try to break that down and I've really been trying to break that down lately I, it's no longer I it's. How do we get to that point like, even with coaching, not only the supervising, even with coaching, it's not okay. How do I show them to get better? How do I show them a technique? How do I show that it's, it's no longer that it's? How can we help each other get to understanding like a roundhouse? How do we help each other to get you to fix your roundhouse Work together, rather than I'm going to do this by myself and write down a curriculum and I'm going to have it all jotted down and then boom, I'm going to give you that curriculum and you hear I did it, I did it, you go do it now. Yeah.
Speaker 1:No, it's like how do we build together? Yeah. Marriage, instead of saying how do I make, how can I provide for my family, how can I give my family a better life, a better things?
Speaker 2:Instead of thinking like that, it's how do we, how do we uh, have a better life? Yeah? You know because that that we're just, we're only, we're just growing. It's like it took us a while, you know, but we're growing yeah like you got back into coaching and you got the, the shift manager what do?
Speaker 1:you? What do you call your supervising?
Speaker 2:super, whoa supervisor? Yeah okay, supervisor position, and then I'm still at starbucks. But we added okay, don't let me finish, I'm still at starbucks and we added like another booth to our business. Now we have three, yeah, so I mean we're growing little by little.
Speaker 1:Eva going to school. It's her own journey, eva going to school.
Speaker 2:I'm living through her cool.
Speaker 1:I'm living through her. But even doing that and being part of the process of her doing that has made me reflect on what I'm doing yeah inspired me. I mean, she people were like are you so proud? Are you like all this stuff is like you guys don't understand, like that girl. Or you've like all this stuff, it's like you guys don't understand. Like that girl gave us something, yeah, like it. Just I don't know one on that.
Speaker 1:On that, on that okay uh, photo booth, guys, photo booth. We still have the photo booth, 360 booth. Uh, digital, digital a photo booth you could have print up rical, make a template for your digital photo booth, for all events. And then you also have the printed, printed pictures, all that stuff, guys, um, photo booth, oh, yeah, we, we changed the name yeah, we'll talk about that in the next episode. But photo booth you guys. Thank you guys for listening, if you guys came back and listened to the episode.
Speaker 1:Thank you guys for listening sorry, we've just been busy with life if you guys want to support us, if you guys like what you guys want us to keep going, um, give our photo booth a shout out. But I simply not on, you don't have to do on social media Just tell people about it. When somebody needs something for their grand opening, if they have a grand opening for a business, if they have a party, quinceanera, tell them. Hey, I know this couple. They have a photo booth. It's Para Siempre. Photo Booth. Jesse and Raquel.
Speaker 2:Raquel and Jesse.
Speaker 1:Send them our link so they can see it. Raquel and Jesse, send them our link so they can see it. Check it out, you know. But thank you guys, thank you everybody, everybody. That was a part of this. You guys, you guys helped us, like from seeing people at the bar saying like oh man, your daughter's in school, that's awesome, you guys are doing so great. From people at the gym.
Speaker 2:Sorry, we've been posting a lot about her too. We're just really proud and happy parents. It's a joyful moment for us. So sorry if all you see is Texas stuff. It'll die down soon, but don't worry and quick shout out.
Speaker 1:I just want to thank Ant Dogs Without you guys? You guys brought fighting back to my household and to my passion. To me, you guys have been amazing. I can't thank Anthony and the Figueroa family enough. You guys are awesome.
Speaker 2:Bring the dogs more to the gym.
Speaker 1:You guys provided me with the space to go in and do something I love put my head down, work and leave. You guys are fucking amazing. Anthony, senior, I can't thank you enough.
Speaker 2:And then I can't either, because I've had to hear this guy cry one more time about not coaching.
Speaker 1:And then everybody at the bar.
Speaker 2:You guys are amazing, um yeah, yeah, everybody at the bar, you guys are amazing yeah, love working there.
Speaker 1:Uh, you guys are all awesome everybody.
Speaker 2:Um, thank you to our, our friends, for this journey, being there calling, texting us, seeing how Eva's doing.
Speaker 1:Life's a journey, guys, and thanks for watching ours. Love you, peace, hook'em, hook'em, hook'em.
Speaker 2:Hook'em. That's not even right. Oh hook'em.