Unstoppable and No Excuses - Journey from Adversity to Leadership and Success - Victoria Pelletier : 137

In this episode, we explore the extraordinary journey of Victoria Pelletier, whose challenging childhood transformed her into a model of resilience and success. Adopted into a loving but financially struggling family, Victoria's determination and her adoptive mother's encouragement propelled her to academic excellence despite her facing social exclusion.

Victoria, an award-winning executive leader, bestselling author, and professional public speaker, has over 20 years of experience as a corporate executive. Known as the "Turn Around Queen" and the "CEO Whisperer," she inspires and empowers her team and clients to change mindsets and drive growth in business, leadership, and culture. She broke barriers by becoming one of the youngest Chief Operating Officers at age 24, president by 35, and CEO by 41.

Victoria shares valuable insights on success, leadership, and work-life balance in our conversation, particularly in high-stress environments like mergers and acquisitions. She highlights the importance of confidence, physical presence, and authenticity in leadership roles and discusses how mentors and opportunities have shaped her career. Victoria also addresses the reluctance of some leaders to nurture talent due to fear and insecurity and how embracing vulnerability can foster trust and strengthen team relationships.

We explore personal branding through her book Influence Unleashed - Forging a Lasting Legacy Through Personal Branding and her upcoming release, Whole Human Leadership. This new book aims to inspire a shift toward more compassionate, heart-centered leadership. Victoria's journey of writing during a career transition, her passion for public speaking, and her personal anecdotes offer invaluable lessons on managing a modern workforce with purpose and profit.

Enjoy her inspiring story. 

To connect with Victoria, visit victoria-pelletier.com
Website: https://victoria-pelletier.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/victoriapelletier/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/PelletierV29
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/victoria_pelletier_unstoppable/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Victoria.Pelletier.Speaker
Medium: https://medium.com/@victoriapelletier
YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/VictoriaPelletierNoExcuses
YouTube Speaker Reel: https://youtu.be/na8LwVeWsmE 

Transcript

Daniela SM: 0:04

Hi, I'm Daniela. Welcome to my podcast. Because Everyone has a Story, the place to give ordinary people's stories the chance to be shared and preserved. Our stories become the language of connections. Let's enjoy it, connect and relate because everyone has a story. Late, because everyone has a story. Welcome my guest, Victoria Pelletier. Despite a tough start in life, Victoria's resilience and determination help her to rise above her circumstances.

Daniela SM: 0:38

Victoria has worn many hats. She's an award-winning executive leader, best-selling author, professional public speaker and corporate powerhouse, amongst many other things. She's an award-winning executive leader, best-selling author, professional public speaker and corporate powerhouse, amongst many other things. She's also known as a turnaround queen and a CEO whisperer. We will explore her perspective on success, leadership, work-life balance and personal branding. Her journey from a challenging childhood to becoming one of the youngest executives is fascinating, but her real breakthrough comes when she embraces vulnerability and human-centric leadership, finding freedom and even greater success. I enjoy when she mentioned that she learned from terrible leaders what not to do, and throughout the conversation, I learned that she's a strong, unstoppable, no BS yet human-centric leader who isn't afraid to have difficult conversations, and that is super valuable, because so many people shy away from difficult conversations. I wonder how it will be to work with her. So let's enjoy Victoria's story. Welcome, Victoria, Victoria, to the show. Thanks for having me. Happy to be here. Yes, I'm very excited for the stories that you're going to share. Yes, tell me why you want to share your story.

Victoria Pelletier: 1:53

I try and help others learn from either the lessons, the failures I've made and how I've learned to overcome and deal with those and hopefully also, given some of my backstory, inspire people as well.

Daniela SM: 2:06

Wonderful, when did?

Victoria Pelletier: 2:07

your story start, oh, very early on. My why, which is what's propelled me to be so driven, comes from very early childhood. So I'm born to a drug-addicted mother, teenage mother who was very, very abusive to me, went in and out of the child welfare system a number of times. She gave me up for adoption and took me back and then, ultimately, when I was around four, I was removed from her care and I was adopted into a loving family, lower socioeconomic. So that's also what sort of propelled me. My adoptive mom said to me I think I was 11 years old she's like Tori, you need to do better than us. And she meant get an education, get a better job. My dad was a janitor and she was a secretary. But I'll tell you, I don't think, daniela, she had to say that to me because I was determined to be better than biology or the circumstance.

Daniela SM: 2:54

Do you think that this is part of your personality?

Victoria Pelletier: 2:57

Oh, it caused me to be like exceptionally resilient. I do think there's a little bit DNA in there, like I do think there's a little bit DNA in there like fight or flight. I'm a fighter, but those early years taught me to be incredibly resilient and then onwards I continued to have some other adversity that I faced through my teens and beyond. That very much has created this desire in me to succeed and not let anything stop me. I sign a lot of my social media posts with unstoppable. That's because that's my life philosophy and mantra I'm not going to let anything prevent me from achieving the goal or objective I've set for myself.

Daniela SM: 3:29

But then this is kind of like people have struggles and then you can have PTSD, so instead of you get post-traumatic growth and that this is what happened to you.

Victoria Pelletier: 3:39

Oh, absolutely I think of as the really kind of like the rocket fuel for me in terms of like my both my personal and professional life generally, like I'm not going to let anything, as I said, you know stop me from like achieving the goal or objective I've set for myself.

Daniela SM: 3:54

But how? Were you in school or in high school? Were you, like you know, go, go, or did you get friends? You enjoy life as a teenager, or how?

Victoria Pelletier: 4:03

was it? Friends? You enjoy life as a teenager. How was it so? I'm very fortunate that academically I did very well. I was gifted, so I ended up skipping a couple of grades, so I didn't have to work hard to succeed and do well from a grades perspective.

Victoria Pelletier: 4:16

On the personal front, not so much. I mean I said it come from lower socioeconomic conditions so there was no money to like go on, like the school trips. More so, when I was in high school, like even the you know the graduation trips and those kinds of things I didn't get to participate in. The same way, I was ostracized quite a bit, wasn't? It didn't sort of stop until I feel like I got into high school. One because I hit my height. I'm only five foot eight, however. I'm only five foot eight, however, I hit this height by the time I was like 11.

Victoria Pelletier: 4:47

If you look at all my school photos, I was joking with my husband the other day as we were reminiscing like I'm the kid in the middle of the back row, consistently by grade four or five, I was taller than my teacher and I was gifted, which I feel like that's way more like applauded these days, but like I was made fun of for being the teacher's pet, and at the time before I skipped grades I kind of just sat to myself beside the teacher doing different work than everyone else Like that way to ostracize and make someone feel like they're very different from anyone.

Victoria Pelletier: 5:17

I usually only had like one or two friends at a time until I kind of got to high school and then again, again, I was younger than everyone but all of a sudden I fit in. I was the same size as everyone, like it was. So from there onward it was better. But I think I became this like incredible observer of people because I didn't have lots of friends and I've taken that to this day. I use a lot like in business and actually and and and life, quite honestly, and one of my favorite pastimes is like just sitting on a patio, glass of wine, just watching the people around.

Daniela SM: 5:52

That's funny. I have that similarity. When I was 12, I was the tallest and, you know, the most developed, and I hated it. I was so embarrassed that you could see my bra from the t-shirt. I was embarrassed that I was the tallest one because I felt like a giant with all these little people. After we went to high school, I wasn't taller at all and it was much better to feel that you didn't stand out that way. I love going for coffees and sitting and observing people, so that's something similar. So you did have this emotional intelligence as well as academically, iq as well as EQ.

Victoria Pelletier: 6:28

I think because I was an only child, so my parents adopted me but never had any other kids and I didn't have a ton of friends. I found myself around adults quite a bit. I also started working when I was 11 years old. I worked in a hair salon and so, again, always around adults, put into this position. So I had the emotional maturity as well. So I feel like I just advanced quite a bit in my youth, maybe not surprisingly, but I rose, from a work perspective, you know, through the ranks very quickly as well, even though I was so young. I'd had all of this experience that was so much further beyond my young years.

Daniela SM: 7:03

Okay, yeah, I understand being an only child, but every time somebody has one child, I'm like oh no, you don't want them to be like me?

Victoria Pelletier: 7:12

I know, I think that's why I was determined I was going to have more than one.

Daniela SM: 7:15

So I have two.

Victoria Pelletier: 7:16

I have two, and in my first marriage I had a stepdaughter as well. I definitely wanted to make sure they were not alone.

Daniela SM: 7:22

Yes, exactly, all right. Okay, so then you started to work at 11 years old. You finished high school, skipping a few years. And then what?

Victoria Pelletier: 7:30

happened Well. So it's funny. I had plans on being a lawyer from the time I was probably 10 or 11. And I jokingly say it's because my mom made me although I think I quite enjoyed it watch the TV series LA Law with her. I think I quite enjoyed it watch the TV series LA Law with her. I think I probably had a crush on Corbin Bernson, the actor. But I thought that's the path I want to go down. But you have to get an undergraduate degree before you go to law school.

Victoria Pelletier: 7:53

I worked while I was in university for a bank in their contact center flexible hours, work around my schedule and I got promoted really quickly into a leadership role there. And so then, near the end of my undergrad, as I was contemplating law school, et cetera, they offered me a relocation across the country and an even greater promotion. I thought, well, you know what, let's take this opportunity. I really was enjoying what I was doing and it was now going to be a promotion. So what I thought was probably just going to be one year off before I then went to law school has been never Now that I loved the corporate world. I loved leadership and I just kept getting promoted to more senior roles. After working in banking for about six years, all throughout university, and then for a couple of years afterwards, I got recruited in my first executive role at age 24.

Daniela SM: 8:43

Well, that's amazing, and so you were very smart in taking that opportunity. People were actually mentoring you and seeing the potentials. That's very clever, and so then you stay in the bank world, or what happened?

Victoria Pelletier: 8:55

That first executive role I got recruited out of banking. So in banking I'd been running call center operations and I got recruited into a private outsourcing organization and at the time it was predominantly call center operations. And I got recruited into a private outsourcing organization and at the time it was predominantly call center outsourcing. So think like, although there's like lots of do not solicit lists, now there was telemarketing calls, there was customer service calls and technical support and that's all call center, and now the evolution of chat, of course. But back then it was all call center and they had banking clients.

Victoria Pelletier: 9:24

I was recruited to be the chief operating officer of this private business process, outsourcing BPO for short company, really big stretch role for me. But in their minds I'd run large call center operations in banking and they had banking clients. But there was a lot I had to learn. I had all the functions reporting to me except for finance. So HR, technology, sales, um, et cetera. So I think I got the competence. So left banking, although I've always like had banking clients in the in the business to business, like professional services world I've stayed in ever since, you know, moved there and then went to another larger private PO company and then I went into like fortune 500 companies from there, which is predominantly where I've stayed ever since, running like large business units for some of the largest companies in the world, like American Express, like, most recently, accenture and IBM.

Daniela SM: 10:31

Excellent, and I want to go back to the point that you said that you came with confidence. I understand that confidence means competence, of course, but how do you say that to a woman? You know, because usually we don't think, oh my God, I don't know if I can do it, how is it that they can?

Victoria Pelletier: 10:47

show it. So I'm not a fan of this whole fake it till you make it, except when it comes with confidence. The one thing I didn't tell you about my childhood, and more my teenage years onwards, is I was an actor, so I had confidence in front of audiences. Now I was normally playing a character, so for me I almost had to play this character of the confident Victoria that I was not. The imposter syndrome was real, because I was such a young executive and there were parts of my role I didn't have experience with, but I showed up with it and so that's the you know.

Victoria Pelletier: 11:25

For your listeners I would say that's the only part of the whole fake it till you make it where I think it's important to do it Putting on this brave face of confidence, backed by the fact that I hope I'm not someone who does like self-affirmations and those kinds of things. That works for many people. I did know inherently that I had great skill and I could. I had a strong propensity to learn, so that in itself gave me the confidence I didn't otherwise naturally have.

Daniela SM: 11:54

Okay, but then how was the present Like, how was? How do you act it physically? What is it that you?

Victoria Pelletier: 11:58

do Because I grew so fast, so young. I have this like big person complex, and so I do think I feel bigger and I take up more of the room than I actually do, so I think that helps with just how my body is, and I've embraced. I know for some taller people they might hunch over, but for me I've always embraced it. I'm almost always people comment on my handshake Like I have a very firm handshake. Now, I've played sports all my life, and so I'm that will be one thing that, immediately, people are like oh, and I do smile and I engage. What I will say, though, is and this isn't so much related to confidence, but I, I, I feel like there was a, a, a bigger mask that I wore when I was younger, like when I said I played this. You know the confident Victoria.

Victoria Pelletier: 12:48

The reality is, I showed up in a way that I thought I needed to the models of leadership I had, which was probably a little bit more of the command and control, although I think I've always engaged teams relatively well. What I didn't do, because I was afraid to do it, was show any kind of vulnerability and emotion. So, yes, I did have nicknames. People have called me the B word for sure. What I don't like some of it's some gender language which I don't like. So being you know, men will be called assertive, women will be called aggressive. Some of it's that dynamic, but some of it was the fact that I was all business all the time Like let's get to it, and it wasn't until years later that I learned that you know what being my vulnerable, authentic self, who's like incredibly an emotional human, actually created like greater trust and relationship with my team. So I learned later to change some of that.

Daniela SM: 13:43

Yes, and I would like to speak to that afterwards. But so, while Victoria is a strong name, that comes with that, then the circumstances, the confidence do you have also mentors that were supporting you and knowing you had a potential, and then they guide you through that.

Victoria Pelletier: 13:57

I've had people who've given me opportunity yes, who saw the potential in me Okay, 100%, and I think I wouldn't be like. I think of the man, the CEO, that hired me into that role. That forever changed the trajectory of my career. Otherwise, I probably would have gone to law school at some point, but instead I loved that and leading all parts of the business that changed. So that was helpful.

Victoria Pelletier: 14:25

But when I think about mentors, I've had more leaders that I look at, who are, in many cases, horrible leaders. So instead I learn what not to do by carefully observing them. I've worked for some that were highly unethical and in some cases I've left those organizations as a result of that. Or the way they spoke to people and engaged with people, said one thing in front of them and something behind their back. Those are things that I observed, going back to like being this observer of people and said, like I am not going to do that, but I am also. I have been a voracious learner and I like to consume content. Back then it was books predominantly, and now it's podcasts or other, like you know, audio content that I observe, and I've used those as ways to help me become a better leader.

Daniela SM: 15:15

Yes, that sounds interesting and I like that you said that you somebody who saw your potential and gave you the opportunity, but mentors you didn't have. Do you think that you needed them? Do you were okay because you were so strong?

Victoria Pelletier: 15:28

I learned early on, surround myself with really, really strong team members. I've never been afraid to hire people who I believe are smarter than me, have more experience than me. I have confidence in the skills and experience I've gained. But I've also gained confidence. I've become better by the people I've surrounded myself with, even if they're my direct reports or other peers in the organization, always trying to learn from whatever place I can. So no, did I need a formal mentor? No, I didn't. Could it have helped? Absolutely, but I chose to pick and choose and learn from others, in some cases what not to do, and in others just absorb like a sponge what I could from people who knew different things than I did.

Daniela SM: 16:13

And I think it's wonderful. I always want to have friends that are better than me, that are more prettier than me than anything, so that you can learn things from them, but some people don't do that. Why do you think that some people are so concerned? They have a position and they want to make sure that anybody under them stay where they are and they never grow, because they want to be better. I mean, what do you think that that's the reason.

Victoria Pelletier: 16:36

I think it's insecurity, fear and insecurity. Majority of the time, you know that people will succeed them, that people will, you know, see how much better they are, rather than recognizing that as a leader, you've groomed and coached and helped develop people and see that as a positive. I think there's lots of imposter syndrome and people are afraid of being found out. I think that, oh my God, I don't know everything. No one's expecting you to, and so you know. For people to get comfortable with that and by putting your thumb down on people and holding them down and or not giving people credit, I think ultimately comes down to fear and insecurity in oneself. Thank, you.

Daniela SM: 17:16

You were working really hard so you didn't have a work-life balance, or whatever that's been said these days. Could you have been so successful and have more balance in life?

Victoria Pelletier: 17:29

Probably, but I don't think I felt I had the luxury and that I had a choice. I look back on it and I've been a part of so many mergers and acquisitions, corporate restructure. A lot of the outsourcing environment I was in in the early days was in the early days of offshoring to places like India. So I needed to be there, and you don't go there for a couple of days, right, You're there for extended periods. I've always been very client facing as well. So I look at when my youngest my kids were six and two, facing as well. So I look at when my youngest my kids were six and two and I remember that year for tax purposes and I was in, you know, in a US role at the time I'm Canadian Originally I had to remember, like, had to file where I was, and so I spent 220 days on the road that year and I remember my youngest being only two years old, like I would come home on the weekends. Jordan, my youngest would be speaking in full sentences and it's like I'd I'd miss things during the week. But we had just acquired six companies, I was leading much of the integration, I was seeing clients, so I didn't really feel like I had. I had a choice in that matter. That said, I do actually believe we all have choice, and I made a choice to prioritize, you know, what was necessary for career. I also had a very supportive partner at home and right around that time we had a nanny who came into the house that helped out, you know, pretty significantly.

Victoria Pelletier: 18:47

However, to counter that, what I will say is that another critical time in my life, when my ex passed away from cancer and I was a single parent, we were divorced but we co parented together, and then I was a single parent, we were divorced but we co-parented together, and then I became a single parent and I was still traveling quite a bit for work. I made a decision to change jobs to one that took me to less than 10% travel, because it was the right thing for my children to have me grounded. I like to say work-life integration instead of balance. I figured it out. Now it's funny because I've really learned to set really solid boundaries At mid-20s or 30-year-old. When I was still early in my executive career, I just charged. I worked 80 hours a week. Every week I was on the road all the time. Now I have a lot more demands on my time and say no to a heck of a lot more.

Daniela SM: 19:32

Yes, but I think that comes with age.

Victoria Pelletier: 19:35

I never let it stop. I feel like there's times in my life there maybe there was a sidestep. So I think of, like, when I changed roles to have the one that kept me grounded and and I I was working in New York but I had a shared residence and that's where my kids were in were in Toronto with my ex. You know the role wasn't quite as big and maybe not quite as exciting, but again, like I said, it was the right thing. So, as much as I follow a path with what I refer to as strategic intentionality, I've always given myself the space to kind of go with the flow as well. So my ex and I should say my ex was an ex-wife. I came out as a teenager as being bisexual and was with my wife for 11 years. We were divorced for four before she then passed away from her second round of cancer, and I took my children away at Christmas time to a resort that a friend of mine had referred me to in the Dominican, having never been away during the holidays, but I thought they needed to not be in the same environment because my ex-wife had passed away just only two months before Christmas. I was pretty resolute that I wasn't going to remain single, because this was the moment I knew I was going to have to change jobs and I did, you know, within a few months later. So my focus was going to be in my kids and I finding a new role for me that didn't have me on the road all the time. And, wouldn't you know, I met my now husband at that resort. You know. We saw each other in the gym on the beach. He kept getting closer and closer but he was too shy to say hello. So I'm the one who initiated that. But my youngest at the time was nine and was swimming in the pool as he and my husband, danny and I had started a conversation and Jordan found out that he was by himself at Christmas time and invited him to join us for dinner. So Jordan likes to think that Jordan's the reason why we're together.

Victoria Pelletier: 21:17

Not that there was any kind of chemistry and connection. I let life flow and thought I needed another like corporate executive who understood what I did. When I date men, I generally like taller men. He's my height, but it was like all everything just kind of fell into place and he subsequently adopted my children. He's an amazing human who gave up his career, for mine to move to be with us, and because I've been relocated several times since, and so we're together 10 and a half years. My children are 24 and my youngest turns 20 in June, and we live a pretty great life. We, with the flexibility of the pandemic, moved from New York to Miami beach and love it.

Daniela SM: 21:55

Oh yeah, you gave the cold weather for the sunny weather and the Latin spice. Wonderful. How is it that you decide if both of you have really good careers? What is the elements that make the decision? Okay, you are going to continue or I'm going to change. How does that?

Victoria Pelletier: 22:13

work. A lot had to do with money. I'm used to being the primary earner, both for with my ex-wife and now with my husband. I wouldn't say he doesn't have a big ego, but he was the top of his food chain. So he's from Quebec City, small Canadian town. French language is his first language. He was teaching massage therapy at the top of that food chain. When we met I said, if we're even going to do this thing, my job was in New York, my house is in Toronto. I'm needing to find a new job. I don't know where it's what it's going to be. And I said, but with my two children, like there's no option, we're moving to Quebec.

Victoria Pelletier: 22:49

He gave up a 25 year career where, like I said, he was, you know, at the top for him. I made significantly more money, like by multiples, was still on a trajectory and path to continue to like really excel from a career perspective. So he did it for love. I think it was an adjustment for him for sure. I mean, he'd never been married and had no children before. So all of a sudden he steps in my kids were nine and 13 at the time and he adjusted incredibly well and tell people that he's and I think it was me who gave him the language.

Victoria Pelletier: 23:20

I'm like, babe, tell people you're retired, you are, you're retired after 25 years and you're you know, not just the house husband Like he makes my life very, very possible yeah, you know, bringing me lunch or tea when I'm working from home, or he used to be the one who'd take the kids back and forth from school. So it's a partnership and I will tell particularly women who choose to have children a lot of the childcare duty falls upon them that they need to find partners who are going to recognize that there's an equal partnership in duties. Doesn't all need to sit on the mother and she shouldn't have to give up her career to be able to have it all, as you said.

Daniela SM: 23:55

I know. I mean, I think the challenge is when both have to work for because of money and so, and then you still have to raise the kids. You know it is equal. Everybody's supposed to put a little bit, and I think the world is changing towards that because there's no other choice, right.

Victoria Pelletier: 24:08

Yeah, exactly.

Victoria Pelletier: 24:09

Yeah, yeah, and so then what happened? I don't do things that don't bring me personal or professional joy or value. As I said, I've gotten very good at saying no to things. So I made the decision to leave my last company last year. It just good company, but it just wasn't the right fit for me and so I left. I did actually think I had another role to go to, but unfortunately the CEO of that company got fired like while I was in the middle of the offer process. So it didn't happen. So I've continued to be in transition, finding like I want to find the right fit for me, preferably that's actually a smaller company. Having worked for such large companies, I'd like to go smaller. I have to interrupt. So you didn't have a job for a while. Yes, I've been in transition, but I'm not very good at like being idle.

Daniela SM: 24:54

I know I cannot imagine that you were actually not working so hard. So how did that feel?

Victoria Pelletier: 24:59

Well, my husband has joked. He thinks that I'm busier in my unemployment than when I was employed, and that's because I've actually always had a side hustle. So I'm a professional public speaker. I don't want to make that full time. A lot of people have suggested that I make that full time. I earned six figures doing that. If I had to do it full time I don't think I'd enjoy it as much. But I have been doing a lot of public speaking. I do a ton of media work. I'm invited to be a guest on media talking about some of the things that I'm a subject matter leader in, and I then, like now's the time to write a book. I keep talking about writing another book. Funny enough, I couldn't decide between the two topics that I really wanted to write on, so I did them both, and so I wrote one book on personal branding, and that one came out in January of this year. And my other book, on leadership and culture, is written. It's recorded for the audio. It'll be released in September.

Daniela SM: 25:54

When did you start to be a public speaker?

Victoria Pelletier: 25:56

Oh, a long time, over 20 years.

Daniela SM: 25:59

While you were working in all these jobs and raising a family.

Victoria Pelletier: 26:02

Oh yeah, yeah, so it's always been. So it started early in my executive career because, you know, oftentimes we're sponsoring at some kind of a conference or an event, so they want a speaker to come or be on a panel. So I've been doing it for a very, very long time and then, maybe 10 or 12 years ago, I started to get asked to speak just independently. At some point I'm like, why am I not charging for this? Somewhere between 10 and 12 years ago I started to charge and became a professional public speaker, put up a website. That was you know very much where people can find me the books and the podcasts that I'm on, but it's very much there about me as a speaker and hiring me for that. So I do love it. I love being in front of audiences. As I said, I don't want to do it full time and I'm really excited that I was invited to speak at TEDx.

Daniela SM: 26:48

Yeah, so congratulations, that's really exciting, and so are they changing you a little bit, because you know they have their style, or are you being able to help be you?

Victoria Pelletier: 26:57

No, no, no, no. Ted got a very like, precise way and recipe and so you've got eight to 14 minutes. That's it. So for me, I'm not nervous about doing it. The only thing for me is it's a very different format that I'm used to doing. I'm used to delivering 45 to 60 minute keynotes, where I know the content very much, but I'm not scripted, you know. So, yes, there's slides I follow, but I'm reading the audience and I'm thinking of a different story I'm going to tell. So I like that, whereas this pretty much a memorized talk, but I never want it to sound like it's scripted. This is actually where my acting skills come in, because I, you know, can make it sound much more natural. But yeah, I initially sort of stressed over the fact that I'm like, oh my gosh, like I'm coming in around that 11 minute mark.

Daniela SM: 27:42

So you decided to change, but you still were a different leader than the leaders that are out there. I just, I just wait for the time that we all going to be good leaders, because he's everywhere, everybody's writing, everybody talks about it. However, they still exist, these managers, and they don't appreciate you. What do you do with them? Have you taught them to be different?

Victoria Pelletier: 28:06

Yeah, you're right. I feel like everyone talks about leadership and creating great culture within workplaces, but then they say one thing and do another. So for me, there is no different version of Victoria.

Victoria Pelletier: 28:25

There wasn't early on, and it's because I wear this mask, I wasn't going to show you my vulnerability, so I needed to shift. How I showed up as a leader, how I was, and so I've learned from my mistakes and this is a part of why I speak. Why I've written this next book on leadership is to share some of that, so hopefully, people won't make some of the same mistakes that I made. But now there's more like in these last couple of years. The pandemic shook everyone in terms of wanting to work for companies and in jobs, roles specifically, that are about purpose and impact. Well, it's my job as a leader to help sometimes translate that, particularly if you're more junior, like let me understand how what I do contributes to that. It's also about the development and investment in people, which takes time, and so I, what I see is there continue to be, you know, leaders who talk about that, but when push comes to shove and, by the way, incentives how they are incented, you know, receive their bonuses None of it's actually around these human skills. It's on sales, revenue, profitability, you know, in the companies, and so I do think incentives need to change if we want to change truly culture, if we want to have more diverse and inclusive, you know, workforces, etc.

Victoria Pelletier: 29:41

Some of this is hard stuff. You know my book is called the whole human leader and that's my phrase, but it's. We show up as a whole human and like we can't park. You can try. You can try and compartmentalize and that doesn't work for too long or not without certainly pain to oneself. So I think there's a healthier level of resilience that we need to have. But the whole human means that we share our lived experiences, we build like real relationships with the people that we work with. It doesn't mean that you trade performance for being that kind of leader. I actually think it's worked to my advantage because I've shown trust and care and compassion and a real commitment to employees' development and growth, so that when I actually need to have that tough performance conversation, they know I'm doing it from a place of care and compassion and wanting them to move forward.

Daniela SM: 30:32

But for so many leaders that is so difficult and talking about vulnerability, when did you decide to change? What happened that make you change this?

Victoria Pelletier: 30:41

I was in my late twenties when I learned that I had been given a nickname at work as the Iron Maiden. I remember hearing that and I was like, oh well, like that's unfortunate. It didn't immediately cause me to change, actually, it's just I remember hearing it and I'm like, oh well, it's probably because I was brought in to do I'm usually given really troubled like portfolios or businesses. I have a positive nickname as the turnaround queen because I am able to improve businesses et cetera. But that often comes with very difficult restructuring or performance management, and so at the time I sort of chalked it up to the fact that I was in a place, in a position where I was having to have a lot of those really tough conversations. But it was a couple months after I heard that nickname. I was talking to a peer of mine on a Monday morning and I was asking her what she'd done, you know, for her weekend and sharing with her that I'd gone to the movies, telling her that I cried so much in the movie theater like I was bawling, I had only those tiny little popcorn like napkins and she turned and she looked at me and she said, vic, I thought you'd be the type of person who laughed at people who cried at movies. That was the moment where I'm like oh my God, like and she was a peer, she wasn't a direct report who I would have had to like, and I'm like. That's when I truly realized, like the, you know that perception becomes people's reality and I knew that's not who I am. You know my nickname is turtle. Tough, resilient exterior shell can handle a lot, but I'm actually really like soft and marshmallowy on the inside. I cry at, like the humane society commercials, like I'm a very emotional being, but I never let anyone see that. So instead, what they saw was this mask of me being all business all the time, not showing emotion, not showing vulnerability.

Victoria Pelletier: 32:22

That was when I had to start to make a change, and it didn't happen overnight at all. I had to do things that were not natural or comfortable for me, things like being intentional about walking into a meeting and not immediately diving into the agenda. Let's have a human conversation, let me learn a little bit more about you. Then I started to share my story of where I came from, which I hid from many people. I don't want you to know that. And so it was that. And then I saw how people reacted to me and the type of relationships that I built with people by doing that. Then I realized like, oh my God, this is really good and I also felt better. I felt free. It took a few years doing it with intention and, by the way, I changed companies at one point so it was easier to start over where they had no history with, to show as the new leader that I was.

Daniela SM: 33:09

Now it seems that you did that because you didn't want it to have the reputation aside from I feel free and I have these relationships. You wouldn't have noticed otherwise. If you wouldn't have heard these comments, you would think that everything is fine. So maybe that's what happens to people when they don't become vulnerable because they don't really notice.

Victoria Pelletier: 33:31

You know, when I hear that part, Well, yeah, I mean, it's about actively listening and in this case it was. I don't think she intended it in a negative. The woman is my peer who said that to me. But you know, I've one of the things I've I've learned, and actually my adoptive mother was the one she, she, I hated as a teenager. She would force me to sit down and be really self aware and self reflective and understand why I had the emotions that I had, why I was acting out in certain ways. Like I said, I hated it then, but it taught me a lot. It actually taught me to have a healthier way of being resilient, and a big part of that is being like really self-aware and reflecting on things. I was able to use that skill that she'd taught me in that moment to really hear and then internalize just that comment that wasn't even intended to be a piece of feedback, necessarily for me.

Daniela SM: 34:22

Yeah, but I'm sure there is a spectrum of how vulnerable you can be. I remember interviewing a guest and he was saying that in his job as a CEO there was no room for being vulnerable. You couldn't do that, otherwise people will think that you're not competent. He's much older than us, so what do you think that things are changing?

Victoria Pelletier: 34:44

There's a balance and there's a right time to do that. You're right, you want to be strong, you want to project strength, but at the same time, I think there is a place for emotion, like I think of, maybe not in the early restructures that I did, but there have been other ones where, you know, I've had to restructure and let many people go, like impacting someone's livelihood. I don't take that lightly and, no, I don't want to cry in the moment where people are crying because I'm announcing their job loss but at the same time I want are crying because I'm announcing their job loss but at the same time I want to show them I'm human and that it's, it was an emotional decision that, yes, it's driven by the need for, you know, for the business. So I think there's moments you know to do it and still project great strength and confidence as a leader. Still project great strength and confidence as a leader.

Daniela SM: 35:34

So you became an amazing leader and then you decided you are working for yourself now.

Victoria Pelletier: 35:41

Well, I'm in transition, so I am. I am looking for another, like you know, executive role, Um, but I have had, I've built and bought businesses, Um. You know, I bought my first company when I was 20, but it was a side business. I bought another one back in 2017. I have had my speaking business and I do a little bit of coaching, both for personal brand and some executive coaching. So I will maintain that A lot of people at the end stages of their career move into what they refer to, what they refer to as a portfolio career little bit of this, little bit of that you know. So, from boards to speaking, consulting, et cetera. I have that now. When I choose to officially retire from corporate, it will already be established and I can choose to expand it if I want, or just keep it at the rate that I do it now.

Daniela SM: 36:32

Okay, and so let's talk about your first book, or the book that is already out there. Influence Unleashed, forging a Lasting Legacy Through Personal Branding. How come branding when you are not in marketing? Why?

Victoria Pelletier: 36:46

I am known having an incredibly strong personal brand. By the way, that's the second book I did a co-authored book called Unstoppable many years ago. I've been coaching people on personal branding and educating for a while. In fact, when I worked for IBM, linkedin ranked me as the number one social seller worldwide. Social seller is their term. It's kind of a formula, but it's a combination of the strength of your brand, the network, how you engage with the network.

Victoria Pelletier: 37:13

When I started that first executive role and all of a sudden I was leading sales and client management teams, I wasn't calling it personal branding. Back then I didn't have the vernacular, but what I was essentially doing was trying to build a really strong brand in my teams who were client facing, and myself. How do we differentiate ourselves from others who are doing what we're doing? So I've now been building my brand for over 20 years and it's evolved and changed and I've pivoted at certain times and I'm seeing so many people trying to do that. We saw much more of a focus on the digital persona you think of influencers. Personal brand is. For me, it's not like the TikTok Instagram influencers you know most people think of and having like massive million. You know followers In my context, where I'm talking predominantly, you know, from a business standpoint. People do business with people they like and trust and want to do business with. What I kept seeing is people were showing up online.

Victoria Pelletier: 38:08

The first foundation for your brand is what do you do and who do you do it for or in what industry are you known? So I'm a finance expert, I'm a data and analytics person, and maybe I'm really well known in the healthcare industry. That could be someone's brand, that's great, but that's just this tiny tiny slice. That's what you do, not. Why you do it, who you are as a human. What do you want to be known for? I started to see, too. We saw a lot of people being laid off.

Victoria Pelletier: 38:36

There was a over hiring, I think at some point in the pandemic, particularly in the space I play in, in consulting, in technology and then there was a right sizing, and so I was seeing all these people in transition and all of a sudden now they're trying to build their brand. First of all, you need to build it, so it's there for you when you need it and you should be building it very early on. I tell my older son coming out of college he needs to be building it. And so for me, there's four elements broadly to your brand. There's the first part, the what you do and be clear around where you've had successes doing it. And then the next is what makes you human? What are your stories, lived experience? What are your values? What are your stories, lived experience, what are your values, what are your interests and passions? These are the things that, like, create a connection or a hook with someone to want to start, you know, engage in a conversation with you.

Victoria Pelletier: 39:24

And then the next thing is what makes you different? There's other people who have this, maybe the same number of years of experience in the same industry as you. But why would someone want to hire you? You know, to either be a client for a consultant for them or as an employee. What makes you different than those people?

Victoria Pelletier: 39:42

So, things like me, the fact that I'm extreme, and the two, I should say, overlap a lot, you know. So, for me, I'm extremely values driven, focused on ethics, focused on doing the right thing, and that is both who I am. But it's also what makes me different than others and the fact that I operate with radical candor. I don't shy away from the difficult conversations. I do it because I care, and in my world of consulting, many times I find consultants tell clients what they want to hear and not what they need to hear. I'm known and I think I'm almost more trusted because they know that I'm coming to them with honesty.

Victoria Pelletier: 40:17

And then the last part is what do you want to be known for? So when I die, I don't want people talking at my funeral about all the mergers and acquisitions that I've done in my lifetime or about what, like sales and revenue and profitability have driven for the companies I've worked for. I want it to be about the whole. That's one small part. I'm very focused on social justice, on creating better workplaces, communities in a world at large, through diversity, equity, inclusion and through sharing my story and creating, you know, motivation and inspiration for people. That's the bigger brand, and so that's why I wrote the book, because I saw people just doing this tiny, tiny bit and falling down around how they showed up, particularly online, but it should be the same in real life as it is digitally, I see these that, yes, you have to build your brand, since you are younger.

Daniela SM: 41:10

That's what I mean that I am my own CEO and I represent myself. And so how do I want to be? I want to be impeccable with my word. I want to, you know, do my best all the time. It seems like all this branding is always related to a job. If you say, for example, you believe in diversity and you want to be fair with employees, but if you're not working, how can you contribute to that? Feel that when people retire, then what happened to your brand? What else can you do to those values? For example, there's advocacy work.

Victoria Pelletier: 41:43

I talked about the portfolio career. So whenever I retire and my husband joke he doesn't think I will ever retire, but I'm sure at some point I'm going to choose not to do that traditional nine to five I will continue to still be an advocate. I'm in transition. I had a horrible experience two months ago. I was hired as a CEO for a company, for a very conservative, very religious family office, to be the CEO for one of the companies in their portfolio. First of all, they didn't do their homework on me. They let me go in my first week when they found out that I'm queer. And so here's an example. And I could do this later in life, once I'm retired, in a different way of advocacy. I chose to share that publicly on LinkedIn. I didn't name the company, I didn't name names, but I said this is my experience. It still exists today. You know the discrimination, so I'm sharing it because we all need to do better, we need to do more for one another. So that was a way. I'm not working right now, but that's a way that I could continue to do it.

Victoria Pelletier: 42:44

I have a ton of privilege. I am a white woman, born in North America, and so I have a voice, I have large following. I have a platform to advocate for others, so I spent a lot of time trying to help my friends, community members, employees that don't have the same privilege, my black and brown colleagues, or, in the community, trying to be the sponsor for people who might not have the same opportunities as me. This goes back to this is my brand. It's who Victoria is. So can I do it? When I'm working full time, 100%, because I will be leading large teams and I can create diversity in a more inclusive environment. But even when I'm not working, I am writing about it, I am sharing, I am helping others, and so that's just who I am, and so I think you can do that regardless of and, to your point, like it's not connected to, any one company you know or job title.

Daniela SM: 43:40

And do you think it's too late to start your brand? I think it's never too late.

Victoria Pelletier: 43:44

Unless you are at the late, late stages of your career and you're trying to build your portfolio career, you can still do it. What I find is and I do some personal brand coaching and I need to be really clear with the people that I'm working with like this isn't happening overnight. Right, like, understand, like so sometimes people come to me because of the they know my brand or they've been referred to me Many times. They're doing it because they're looking to get more sales for their business. That will come, but that is not coming overnight. And so let's get really clear on what your brand identity, who you are, all of those facets of who you are, those foundational elements, as I've described. But it also needs to be like what's your audience, what's your goal for doing this From there? It takes time. So, no, it's never too late. But I do encourage people to start that as early as possible. But know that it's also okay, it's going to change.

Victoria Pelletier: 44:36

You know I wanted to be a lawyer and then I've ended up in the corporate world. You know that happened while I was still in university. I made the decision. But I think you know my son went my older son went to school for computer engineering. He's now decided he's not ready for the boring desk job. He's doing construction, his choice. He's happy. I mean like, if you're happy, buddy, and you can pay your bills, great. But he might make a decision in a few years from now. So you can change, you can pivot. What doesn't change is who you are innately, and so there's other elements of your brand that will flourish and grow and you want people to know about. Yes, good.

Daniela SM: 45:09

What about the next book that is coming? You want to talk a little bit about that.

Victoria Pelletier: 45:19

Yeah, so that one's called Whole Human Leadership and it says managing a modern workforce with both purpose and profit. I really poured a lot of myself into that one in that I share, you know, in each chapter some element of lessons. So the unseen employee and how do you as a leader find and that maybe that's the diverse employee, but it can be trying to uncover that you know, the people, the understanding people's career trajectories and their desires to talking about vulnerability I talk about in the book, and so in each chapter I give examples from my past to help people learn, and in some cases it's where I had made mistakes and I failed and I will happily share that. So hopefully someone can learn from that so that one will come out in September. I'm excited by that one. It's like I said, I spent a lot of time. As you and I talked about earlier, there's not enough leaders who are showing up in this heart centered, human centered way. I hope this can help maybe be a little bit of a movement towards that.

Daniela SM: 46:15

Yes, the human center. Well, you know what time has passed so fast and I appreciate that you were here, that you wanted to share your story. Thank you, victoria, for being so vulnerable, courageous and authentic.

Victoria Pelletier: 46:29

Great Thanks for having me, thank you.

Daniela SM: 46:31

I hope you enjoyed today's episode I am Daniela and you were listening to, because Everyone has a Story. Please take five seconds right now and think of somebody in your life that may enjoy what you just heard, or someone that has a story to be shared or preserved. When you think of that person, shoot them a text with the link of this podcast. This would allow the ordinary magic to go further. Join me next time for another story conversation. Thank you for listening. Hasta pronto. Thank you, thank you.