Inspired with Nika Lawrie
Welcome to Inspired with Nika Lawrie, the podcast dedicated to revolutionizing health and wellness for women. Join Nika Lawrie, founder of Puurlee, as she explores cutting-edge topics in biohacking, holistic wellness, and personal empowerment. Through insightful interviews with innovative women and expert discussions, this podcast provides the tools, inspiration, and knowledge to help you achieve optimal health and live your best life.
We believe in combining science-backed insights with a holistic approach to wellness. We aim to inspire women to take control of their health, prioritize self-care, and embrace personalized, data-driven solutions. This podcast is more than just a resource for improving health—it’s about sparking a larger movement to transform how the medical system cares for women.
Whether you’re looking to enhance your longevity, discover clean and sustainable living, or find the motivation to achieve your dreams, this is your go-to resource for transformative wellness. Gain insights from leaders in health, wellness, and innovation, and join our community of women committed to making a positive impact on their lives and the world around them. Tune in and get inspired! Learn more: https://mtr.bio/nika-lawrie
Inspired with Nika Lawrie
Embracing Mental Healing: A Natural Approach to Anxiety, Depression, and Self-Discovery with Claire Uncapher, RN
When Claire, a nurse with a poignant history of anxiety and depression, opens up about her path to healing, it's an awakening for anyone who's felt trapped in their own mind. My latest episode ventures into the heart of mental health as Claire candidly shares the twists and turns of her own mental health journey, revealing the limitations of traditional treatments and the power of exploring the subconscious. Our discussion peels back the layers of emotional authenticity and the courage required to align with one's true self, offering a beacon of hope to those wrestling with similar shadows.
CONNECT WITH CLAIR: https://claireuncapher.com/
CONNECT WITH NIKA: https://mtr.bio/nika-lawrie
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*This podcast and its contents are for informational purposes only and are not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your physician or a qualified health provider for any questions concerning a medical condition or health objectives. Additionally, the advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for every individual and are not guaranteed for business, personal, or wellness success. Use discretion and seek professional counsel when necessary.
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Welcome to the Inspired with Nika Lawrie podcast. Claire, welcome to the show. I'm so excited to have you here today.
Claire Uncapher:Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, so we are going to talk about a topic that I think is so important, especially nowadays. It's kind of become more prominent in the sense that people are paying attention to it more and less stigma. So we're talking about anxiety and depression and really taking kind of a holistic approach to supporting individuals struggling with those kind of issues. Before we get started, can you tell me who you are and share a little bit about yourself? Help me understand your story? Yeah.
Claire Uncapher:So we just were talking about where we are in the world. I'm in Virginia Beach.
Claire Uncapher:I live near the ocean, that's so important to me and to my family and we do all things beach, but I do what I do. You know we talked about everybody's got a story and I'll just briefly touch on it. Because I struggled with anxiety and depression for a lot of years and I was very health conscious and did a lot of things to try to make that better. I took medication multiple medications, actually because I had what the medical community called treatment resistant depression. Lovely medications actually, because I had what the medical community called treatment, treatment resistant depression, which meant I did all the things. I even did like this genetic test to figure out like what medications I'm, my genes might respond to, and because they just kind of it was a head scratcher and you never like that, right, I'm a nurse and you never like that. You never like to go to the doctor and have them go. Huh, this is really weird. You want them to know exactly what the problem is. This is the treatment. You're going to be fine. That was not the case.
Claire Uncapher:So for years I continued to struggle and I'm not anti-medication or anti-therapy, I'm a very unique blend because I am a clinical nurse. I have that background, I was a mental health nurse, but then I've also been on the other side of it and struggled and it made it a certain percentage better, but then it was just never going to go beyond that. And you know, I got really low sometimes actually, and just there was a time that I just became so sick of my own issues. I was just sick of being in the same place again. Yeah, that I was. Just I said there's got to be something better than this. And I almost feel like that was like a call for help, a cry out into the universe, something, because things started showing up in my experience. And that's when I got introduced to subconscious work.
Claire Uncapher:And that's when I found out oh my gosh, no wonder I couldn't sit across from a therapist and untangle this, because I wasn't conscious of what was really going on and what the real issues were and what we really need to talk about, you know. And so it was just such a game changer and I started helping other women and men but mostly women come see me and I started noticing themes. So it's not just the root cause is so important, but it's not just that, there were also themes in that women that identify with having depression, anxiety. You know, we're chronic people pleasers. We really are and that's a really cute term, for we have never felt safe to be ourselves truly. The true, full expression of us is not welcome here, because if I show it I won't be accepted or loved. That's kind of think about that it's huge.
Nika Lawrie:I mean, I can very much relate to that and you know I've had my own struggles with anxiety and depression over the years and I look back.
Nika Lawrie:You know, for me thinking about root cause, I think it kind of has two meanings in a sense in this conversation.
Nika Lawrie:So you know, for me a lot of times root cause is looking at like nutrition or environmental toxins or different things that might be triggering an inflammation or an issue in the body and then that leads to other health issues. But I think a lot of times that root cause, especially with mental health, is back to like specific traumas. Or for me, I think a lot about I had a difficult high school experience. I ended up dropping out of high school and yeah, and I the biggest part was I didn't connect with a lot of the other girls in school so I didn't have friends or that support system when a long-term relationship ended and I look back at that all the time and that I draw from my self-worth, I think. And so I think you know that's a root cause. Even though it wasn't like a big T kind of situation, it was still. It was not feeling accepted or not feeling part of the tribe or something like that, and that can cause that root cause damage.
Claire Uncapher:Well, we can get more specific than that and this is what I really want your listeners to get is that with mental health. What I found over and over and over and over and over again is, yes, you're right. I found over and over and over and over and over again is, yes, you're right, things happened to us that were traumatic and were uncomfortable experiences, and they were like big influences in our lives. But when you think back on those incidences, the real trauma, the real trauma was the beliefs that we formed about ourselves or the world around us, or what we made those events mean, what our interpretation of those events. What does that mean about you? So, like you were in high school, like you made that mean something about you. What happened subconsciously? Yeah, yeah, and you're right, you're in. The funny thing about the subconscious is it's not so deeply buried that we are totally unaware. You just said it yourself.
Claire Uncapher:I think it's related to my worth, but we get right to it, you know. And then so my belief that I was carrying around coloring every, literally every experience was I am not lovable, and worse than that because it's not. It's like, yeah, that's good, but I am hard to love. So, like me, the me that is, me is hard to love. I'm just not inherently lovable. I have to be extra or this or that in order to be loved. And so if you think about that and how that affects your relationships, how you present yourself to the world, your relationships, your work, I mean the thing you think, the things you think you're worthy of, the value you believe that you bring to the table, it affects everything, it colors everything. And so if everybody has one to three, colors everything. And so if everybody has one to three, the one to three big ones and it's in some way shape or form the big one is usually related to I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough, just the way I am, I'm inherently flawed.
Claire Uncapher:I don't matter or my needs don't matter.
Nika Lawrie:My guess too. I think you touched on this a little bit before, but my guess is that women tend to be more I'm inherently flawed, I'm not good enough. And men it's probably a different struggle, just because of how they're maybe supported and I could be wrong, but maybe the men that I've helped.
Claire Uncapher:To be honest. Yes, women, um, we're highly critical of ourselves. Yeah, it's like we have this yardstick and everybody else is up here and we're down here and it's just our self-perception.
Claire Uncapher:And so a lot of the work that I do is helping them see that that's actually not the case, you know, and not just see it, but believe it, because you have to believe it to be true, you can't just go oh, that's a really good idea, claire. I like the words that you're saying. You have to, it has to be the truth, yeah, and so there's tools and techniques to to work with the subconscious mind to get you to I don't want to say unbelieve, but to change your beliefs, to actually change them so that you believe something different, so that you are different, so that you experience different things. But for men, you know and I never, I was thinking about it while you were asking the question for men, it, I would say the overarching theme, is they didn't get to feel it. They didn't get to feel it.
Claire Uncapher:All the men that I've helped had to be tough, when they were little boys, you know, and they couldn't cry like a baby or show that something hurt them, and even into their adult relationships they would experience real emotional pain, but they like. The cultural message is it's not OK to feel that, it's not OK to show that. I feel that with grown strong, capable, successful men who end up releasing some pretty big emotions that they've been holding for years and they didn't even know that it was such a big impact, I mean they kind of so. One experience I'm thinking of is a boy that was bullied in his middle school years, like pretty, like you know, it was a neighbor, so it was. It was persistent, consistent all the time, and he knew that, he hated that. It was probably not a great experience for him, but he didn't know the pain yeah that he held related to it and he didn't know that the interpretation he made about himself was, I'm not even worth standing up for. Oh man.
Claire Uncapher:I'm not even you know, I'm just, I, just, I just have to. I think his belief was I just have to take it. Yeah. I just have to take it. And so in his current relationship he was feeling walked all over because guess why I just have to take it, Take it.
Claire Uncapher:Yep, yeah, yeah. So it's beautiful when someone starts to realize that that was a belief that they've formed. They make the decision. I help them get to a place where they make the decision that they don't want that for themselves anymore. And then how can we shift out of that and get? That's the thing, and that's why traditional therapy isn't always successful is because we cannot come to these conclusions logically.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah.
Nika Lawrie:So that leads me to kind of a question I have for you is you know, I'm a believer too. I think there's a place for traditional therapy. I think there's a place for you know, I'm a believer too. I think there's a place for traditional therapy. I think there's a place for you know the traditional medical system, but I think there's so many alternative options out there that can be also supportive and also beneficial, and I'm a big proponent for taking more of a holistic approach to overall health. Can you talk a little bit about how you approach these issues kind of in a more holistic, intuitive manner?
Claire Uncapher:Sure. So I think the question I would want people to ask themselves instead of should I go conventional or should I go holistic? Well, one conventional is like it's life-saving, right, if you're suicidal, if you can't function, for the love of God and take your medicine and all that. It's life-saving. But I think the question we need to ask ourselves is is this helpful? Yeah, am I showing up every Thursday at six 30? And it's just the same old thing all the time and I'm not getting better. I'm not feeling any different. I'm not getting anywhere. And if, if the answer's no, then um, then maybe I need to explore some different things and, to be honest, what works for you is going to might be honest. What works for you might be different than what works for anybody else. So it's about finding what works for you and I believe you'll be drawn to that. You'll be drawn to what works for you. So how I holistically help women with depression and anxiety symptoms and that's the whole thing.
Claire Uncapher:Depression and anxiety I do not believe in the disease model of depression and anxiety. Depression and anxiety is not the problem. They are the symptoms of the problem, and we just talked about how the problem, you know, is a belief or an interpretation that you came to, that you're not conscious of that. Boy, things change once you become conscious of it. And it's not scary, it's freeing.
Claire Uncapher:People are afraid of the subconscious mind, but it's not scary, it's freeing. It's like a secret that's kind of been kept to you from you, but you kind of thought you overheard parts of it, and so when someone finally blurts out the whole thing to you, you're like, oh my God, I've been wanting to know that forever and so it's not scary, it's freeing, it feels like relief and so doing that. And then also, I was actually super surprised that one of the biggest reasons we find ourselves what we would call unhappy is the not being able to be ourselves, feeling like we cannot be and allowing ourselves to be in relationships because we think we should with friends, with family members, with partners where we are not. The real us is not welcome there. Yeah.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, like me, that's very common.
Claire Uncapher:Yeah, my quirks, the way I am, it's like be less of that, would you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, be you up to the point that it makes me uncomfortable and then be less of you is the message that we're conditioned, you know, and you know, even, even and we lovingly encourage people to be less of themselves because we want what's best for them we, they say we're, I'm going to do this and we go. Oh really, but have you thought about this, this, this and this? And you really, I don't know.
Claire Uncapher:That was a big pill for me to swallow and I realized I have three teenagers and I realized, oh my gosh, if I want people to respect my intuition and my true, authentic expression when I'm, when my daughter is telling me this is how I want to express myself through my style, you know, as long as it's, I have to be like you go, you know, you do you boo. And when my son says I want to go to this college, I really want to, mom, I feel it in my bones. I can't say, well, I think that's a stupid idea. I can say I think that's an interesting decision, one that I'm going to have to wrap my hat around because it's the furthest away and the most expensive. But, baby, if you really want to do that, I don't have access to that hole, that intuition, I have to just honor yours and we don't do that for each other. And when you start backing away from relationships and it's and it's all about, do I feel good around this person, or do I not?
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, and that's so huge. I think so often we yeah, we don't listen to that intuition of I don't feel good around this person, I don't feel good in this environment, but we stick in it because that's our norm, or that's our you know, or there's no evidence, or yeah, or there's no evidence.
Claire Uncapher:Sometimes we can't put our finger on why we, or it's a family member. But I was just talking to someone the other day who they're going through a struggle within their family and her mother is taking a lot of anger out on her. She's a grown woman and has kids and she just kind of was like I think I'm sick of walking into the field so she can stick me with spears. Yeah, it doesn't mean I'm cutting her out of my life, but it does mean that I'm just going to like let her know that I'm feeling attacked by you a lot lately and so, to protect myself, I'm going to pull in. I love you. You've got a lot of anger and I'm sorry about that, but I'm not going to be your punching bag, and so when you're ready to actually have a real conversation, mom, I love you, I'm here. That's what a boundary feels like and looks like. It's kind, it's honest and it's direct.
Claire Uncapher:Yeah, yeah, it's not you're bad for me it's OK to do, yeah, oh and we think, well, and that's the other thing, you will be the bad guy. Yeah.
Claire Uncapher:Yeah, you know, you'll be the unreasonable with being that, you will be the bad guy, you will be the unreasonable one, you might even be accused of not being in touch with reality, but it'll feel like a relief. It'll feel like not having that interaction will feel like a relief and, yeah, I think, the biggest thing about authenticity. It sounds so nice but the work is becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable rejection or disappointment or disapproval or ridicule.
Nika Lawrie:So I wanted to go back to something you touched on earlier. You were talking about one of your clients coming in, a gentleman, and he just like released all of this emotion that had been kind of pent up. He got to finally feel the experience. Can you talk about kind of explain emotional release and like what it is and why really, why it's so beneficial, and then some of the techniques that people might be able to use to be able to do that for themselves too?
Claire Uncapher:sure, and you know, in my clinical background with mental health and in all my experiences with therapists personally, no one ever has said the word emotional release to me, even though I think that's the whole idea of it. All right Is releasing the sadness, releasing the anger. But there are lots of ways to do it. Different practitioners have different angles, and so you just find something that works for you. But the premise is is that things happen, we experience maybe sadness, or grief, or anger or sadness, uh, rage, and we we don't feel it to its end. And have you ever, like, been upset about something and you actually allowed yourself to be upset about it? Put your big baggy sweatpants on, got the chocolate, sat on the couch, cried until it was like all the sad is gone.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, so I went yeah, because I don't usually do that for myself. But I know when my daughter is upset and there's a thing, um, you know, my first instinct is to console her and, you know, make her feel better. But then I just kind of sit with her and I'm like baby, just cry, Just let it all out, Just get the, get the sadness out.
Claire Uncapher:And she works through it and then she's better on the other side, and that's not. That is emotional release. That's how to do it in the moment, but I'll talk in a second about releasing stored emotions. But so I'm in a remarriage, married to the love of my life, but right before we got married because you know, we both had kids it was like a big deal. We broke up right before we got married and we had been talking about getting married. I was devastated. It was a breakup, right, it was a devastating breakup. And I had brought my kids into it, yeah, and we were kind of coming together. So it was like not just me, it was them. And even my daughter one day was like I do too, you know.
Claire Uncapher:So I, um, I cried for like on and off, you know I had a job and things, but I cried for like four days and then it was like a Monday morning I got in my car and Ariana Grande's song no more tears to cry came on and I went oh my God, that's how I feel. I'm like done. Yeah, I'm like done. I'm all good, I don't feel sad anymore. I've come to acceptance. I'm ready to think about, like, what am I going to do now, and that's what processing and emotion is like, and because I know how to do that. And, um, of course, then the man started coming around knocking on my door asking me how I'm doing, bringing me like what's happening. I let you go, I brought us, you Bye. It was very odd. Clearly he won me over, yeah, but which, by the way, I think that release he felt.
Nika Lawrie:Which, by the way, I think that release he felt. Yeah, I was going to say I didn't want to bring it up, but my instinct when you said that was I think you had to release something in order to be in the right mental state to have that healthier relationship for him or with him, to lead you guys to marriage, yeah, and because I really was like.
Claire Uncapher:After that I was like okay, hi, and you know, let's get married. All right.
Claire Uncapher:This is odd, you know, but he's great, but so so the premise is is that when we don't do that, we store all these emotions in our body literally, like you can energetically, but I believe they have true density, because all the people I've ever helped with weight loss we don't talk about weight, we don't talk about dieting, we don't talk about working out there's always some emotion that's not been processed, some big emotion like, for instance, grief over something, and once people move that emotion out of their body, it feels lighter. But things in their life shift because it's like there's space or something. That's happened with infertility, um, with, yeah, people trying to struggle with weight loss, and then it just like I know it's so uh, esoteric, but feeling better, feeling lighter, feeling freer. A lot of people say like I feel like I put a big, heavy bag down that I didn't even know I was carrying, or, um, they just feel it's like you have this like kind of high where you feel like you're like running through a meadow. That's amazing.
Claire Uncapher:But so the way I do it is, you know, I get you to identify the feeling that you're having. Is it sadness? Is it sadness or is it grief? Yeah, is it disappointment. It's very important because it helps us, like it's almost like the, it's like trying to locate it, and the more you can connect with it. And you know, where does that live in your body? Yeah, your heart, your head. I've had people my right toe like where does it live in your body? And at this point you'll feel like you're making it up, but it doesn't matter. Is it? Is it?
Claire Uncapher:You know, once you've gone through the process, did it help you, you know? And then, um, then I take them, I kind of combine. So what, how I do it is? I combine subconscious work with energy work and get them to connect to that feeling. What does it look like? If it looks like something, what would it look like? And it's just, people amaze me. They'll be like it's kind of like drippy red blobs at the bottom of my heart. I'm like, oh my God, you're amazing at this, you know, and or or it's like it's like armor, you know, or it's like squiggly lines all around my brain. And so now we've really connected. You've found it within your body and then we kind of go through a dialogue with it. You've found it within your body and then we kind of go through a dialogue with it and I find the source of it. When did it ever start coming, come to live in your body? Yeah.
Claire Uncapher:And we, we revisit that, and, but you don't have to. Yeah.
Claire Uncapher:And then that's when the energy work part comes in. And if, if, if you know if the listeners want to do something like this and identify the feeling, find where it lives in your body. What does it look like? Another great question I like to ask it is you know, connect to it, make it look like a cartoon character. It turns to you and it says a simple word or phrase. What does it say? And it drops down or bubbles up, and if you just are quiet for a few seconds, it'll say something simple, like I'm here, or stop, or pay attention, or something, some message it has for you. And then you can kind of like get in a dialogue with it, Like, well, what are you here to tell me? What do I need to learn? You don't have to, you can just say are you ready to go?
Claire Uncapher:You know, and the feeling will be like yes, yes, I am, thank God, I want out, and so the way I do it and this is kind of going over like my sessions are 90 minutes. This is going over a really long process and a super simple thing, but you can. You can make it simple. Is I ask the client to bring lots and lots of white light? Ok, white lights, the highest vibration in the universe, pure love, peace, light. Whatever you want to call it Some, you know, depending on people's religious beliefs, they call it the Holy Spirit. Whatever you want to call it, depending on people's religious beliefs, they call it the Holy Spirit. Whatever you want to call it, pure white light.
Claire Uncapher:Just put that white light around that gray blob, around that gray blob, swirl it all around, all around your heart, until the gray blob starts separating from your body, until there's a little air, a little space, a little light, until it's separate from you and they'll start to feel that separation and then you might notice that it desires an exit point and people will be like it wants to come out of my mouth. This is so weird and I'm like you just keep going and okay, so let's have that white light, help it come out of your mouth. So all the energy of that gray blob go ahead and it light help it come out of your mouth. So all the energy of that gray blob go ahead and it's pushing it up out of your throat, out of your mouth, and they'll, like you know, and then I'll say and just let me know when that process is complete. And then sometimes, like people, sit there for a minute quietly yeah and they're like it's still going, you know yeah, and.
Claire Uncapher:And then they'll be like, okay, it's still going, you know yeah. And then they'll be like, okay, it's done. Yeah, because they'll feel it and then I'll say, okay, take that white light back around your heart to all the areas that it was attached to, until it just feels like a normal, healthy whole heart, and then take a deep breath. How do you feel? And they go oh my gosh, I feel, I feel good, yeah. I feel lighter. Yeah.
Claire Uncapher:And, um, that's something you can do for like, and the thing, how you're reaching that stored emotion. You don't need to go what stored emotion and am I going to release you, just like, wait until you have anxiety come up, and then that, because the anxiety you're feeling is a trigger from a previous experience that's held in your body. I know this is we're going really kind of and it's great and that's how you access it. Yeah, and so the biggest thing people tell me when they start to do this, as things come up, because you start to do it, it's like your daily Ativan, so that you're not holding depression, anxiety, anger, fear, sadness for hours, weeks, days, months, years.
Claire Uncapher:Have you ever been like sad for a couple of days, but you're like not really sure? So this is how you move it out of your. This is how I help people move it out of their body. And, um, the biggest feedback I get from people is they go. You know things that used to bother me just don't bother me anymore. I'm like uh-huh, I know, because you have less of it in you.
Nika Lawrie:I can tell you a story for myself that is exactly like what you're saying. Basically, this is before I even kind of learned all these things. So this is years and years and years ago. I had been really sick. I had the flu. I'd been sick for like probably four or five days, like one of the worst times I'd ever been sick, and I had gone through a lot of trauma prior to that. And then my cat died, and my cat was missing for like three weeks and then finally we just never found it, and so we were fairly certain it died. And I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but this cat was like everything to me at the time, but it was.
Nika Lawrie:Also. I had been dealing with a ton of trauma prior to that, and so I was sick, in bed. I'd been sick. I decided to take a bath to just feel like try to get some of the ick off of me, and I was laying in the bath and I had this sense of this black cloud inside my chest, like right, right about where my um, like uh, ribs are. And when you were talking about the great blob, every time I've done some type of energy work or gone through meditations or things. It's always this gray kind of little cloud right and it's in the same spot in my body every time. But anyways, I was in the bath and I could feel that gray cloud and I got pissed at it Like I was so mad at it and I just I was like get the F out of me.
Claire Uncapher:Get the F out of my body.
Nika Lawrie:I myself, yeah, in the bathtub, like you know, just screaming at this stupid black thing that's invisible in my chest. But I could feel it there and I told it to get out of me. And then I started doing for people who can see it on the camera, like this kind of whoosh away from my body. And so I would. I would run my hands together in the middle of my body and then push outwards and try to just kind of release that energy. And I did it for probably I don't know 10 minutes or something, just telling this stupid black cloud to get out of me, moving that energy out of my body. And I felt better. And then the next day I was no longer sick and I may have just healed from having the cold, and it was a coincidence, but I really was mentally and physically I had a different energy the next day. And so I think those things really I mean they really do work.
Claire Uncapher:So I want to say two things. One, kids are. This is great for kids. Kids live in this imaginary world and so when I work with kids and you know, my daughter, my 13-year-old, has anxiety and I work with her and I'm like, where is that in your body and my stomach? What does it look like? A bunch of bubbles? And then we work with and I we do less like regression type work with kids. It's more just and you know where does that, you know what messages they have, where does it want to leave? When it leaves, the mom just goes wow, she's really less anxious and and to be honest, so the second thing I want to say is people listening to this are like, okay, this sounds really woo and weird. Yes, it does, yeah, but this is how I came across this.
Claire Uncapher:I was doing energy work, like Reiki, with hands on type stuff, and it just kind of it's an. It just started taking on a life of its own. That people's I would identify like oh, my back hurts. So I would start working with the back and in my mind's eye I would see a splinter and I would ask them to imagine a splinter, the pain being a splinter, and then this white light energy would surround it and we would move it down their leg, out of their foot and keep doing that until it felt gone, and then the pain would go away. And even I'm a nurse, like I'm all, show me the research. Yeah, and I was like this is weird, you know, but it works. It's weird, but it works.
Claire Uncapher:And you know people are like, well, you know you want to. Ok, that's great. You want to stick with research based, clinically backed study? Ok, how's that working for you? Yeah, how's that working for you? Are you, are you good?
Claire Uncapher:But I think people get so not desperate, but you know they'll really try anything. They'll step into this imaginary world, they'll step into this. Ok, I'll just, whatever. You know, most people, some people, don't even know why they're coming to see me. Their friend just told me they needed to go see me. I'm just like, okay, so you know, you know nothing about what's about to happen. Huh, and you know they, it takes people a minute, but it's like, you know, we reason, we think about it logically afterwards, we don't. You know, you got to kind of. We're accessing the level of your nervous system, the level of your body, the level of your emotions, the level of your intuition, of level beneath everyday consciousness, where we think about things with our logical mind. And so if you can suspend that logical mind and I'll just allow the process to happen, then you can try to wrap your head around it and go how the hell, what, what's the science behind that?
Claire Uncapher:You know you can do all that stuff and but. But the important question is was it helpful? Yeah, yeah, absolutely, and that's the only way I can wrap my clinical mind around it is is it helpful? Yes, it's helpful.
Nika Lawrie:Well, I think too, because I'm a big proponent of evidence-based science, right Like is this working? Has this been tested, Do know? Do we see real lasting results? But then there's also a lot of ancient wisdom that you know. People have been using different techniques for, you know, basically as long as humanity has been around, and some of these techniques have proven to work for thousands of years. And so to me, even though maybe that wasn't researched in a clinic, it's still evidence-based, because there have been results for thousands of years behind people using these different techniques. And so, even though we can't necessarily explain it with you know, a mathematical problem or some chemistry, we can still show that there is real evidence, that there's something backing this up.
Claire Uncapher:Yeah, it was hard for me because when I started doing it it was like a part of me that I hid a little bit. There was yeah there was the clinical, claire the nurse. And then there was the side of me that had kind of tapped into this piece. That was, you know, even wow, this is incredible, so powerful. But I'm a little confused by it. And my ex-husband was a physician and he even said, asked me to not talk about what I did at parties or with people. Yeah.
Claire Uncapher:Clearly we're not married anymore, but talk about not being able to be me in a relationship, um which we have a great relationship now, but it's it's. It was a tough transition for me to step into who I am and what I'm here to do and how I'm here to help people. Yeah. But you know you said evidence. I've I've seen amazing and powerful changes happen in people's lives based on this work. Yeah.
Claire Uncapher:And you know, it's kind of like unhelpful and supportive things fall out of their lives and better things come in, and it doesn't always. You know, I was helping one gentleman and he was very confused because his business partnership fell apart right after we were doing all this work and I in my mind I was like, well, this was going to be something. I didn't know what it was going to be, but it was going to be something. I often want to put a label on work. But then he stumbled into some work that was like so much better for him, so much more prosperous for him and his family, so much happier. So he just had to like hurdle that little, allow the change to happen through that process.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, I think too, going back to the energy work too, is one of the other things that I think people don't consider is that everything is made of energy. I mean, that is, everything that exists is energy, and we have not reached you know, we're still figuring out how to get to the moon or how to get to Mars. You know and understand the universe as a whole, and so the fact that we don't understand all of those things, how should we understand how energy in the human body necessarily works yet? Maybe we just haven't figured out that science yet, and so I think it's naive of us to think that this is woo-woo or think that it doesn't work, simply because we haven't figured out how to understand it yet.
Claire Uncapher:Even some of our biggest scientists have made statements like there's an intelligent energy that we don't understand. That seems to be everything you know and things like that. So and I'm sorry that I don't have the name of this, but I've read articles where, like, scientists have said things like that you know, like there's something else here that we aren't really you know, that is kind of controlling everything that we're not aware of and can't put our fingers on, you know.
Nika Lawrie:Absolutely yeah. So I think it's. I think it's naive of us to think that this is fake or doesn't work simply because we don't understand it. Maybe we just don't understand it yet is the key thing there. And so if it's working for people and people find it as a useful tool, why not? I mean, it just seems like silly not to use it as a tool if it is working for people, and I too have seen it work for a lot of people. So I think it's really powerful and profound. What are some other general kind of mindfulness or self-care techniques that you would help or encourage people to consider for day-to-day kind of maintenance of mental health?
Claire Uncapher:I would say tune into yourself. We just tune into yourself. What do I want? What do I need right now? How can I take care of myself in this and listen and then feel like you have the right to feel that way? So many times people don't feel like they have the right to feel some way. And many times people don't feel like they have the right to feel some way and I have women tell me all the time I feel like this, but A, b, c, d, e, f, g, x, y, z, there's no, you know, I don't have the right to feel that way is basically what they're saying. And um, is that true? Like you know, maybe we need to do some reframing, but you feel how you feel and you have the right to feel how you feel, and there's usually you need to go like why do I feel that way? Yeah.
Claire Uncapher:Am I making this mean something? You know, I tell that. Say that to my husband all the time. You know, you've been really quiet for the past hour and what I'm making that mean is this you know, and he goes not at all. I just needed to check out. Um, uh, I'm trying to think. Every day is, I would say, tune into yourself, what do you need and give yourself permission. And it really is a living low. Your capacity is different on different days, and so maybe today I feel like I'm crushing my day, but maybe tomorrow it's like geez, I can't even like put my mascara on. You know, that's okay. And what do I need? I can't even put my mascara on. What do I need? I need to push the easy. I say that all the time. I need to push the easy button. Right now, we're ordering pizza, you know. Or I need to push the easy button right now, jack, I need you to take Eva to lacrosse, can I? You know, cause there's four kids.
Nika Lawrie:So you know, push the easy button, you know it's okay, one of the things I teach women is to start to understand how their menstrual cycle works and understanding. You know how you know major our hormones play a role in how we feel, one throughout the day, but especially, you know how you know major our hormones play a role in how we feel one throughout the day, but especially, you know, throughout the month, in our capacity, yes, and there is a huge aspect to you know, some days you just have to push the easy button because your hormones are telling you to push the easy button.
Nika Lawrie:And there's nothing wrong with that.
Claire Uncapher:And we can't do what we can like on day 27,. We're not capable of doing what we can do on day six. And what do we make that mean? We make that mean something's wrong with us. I'm not awesome, I'm a bad mom, not a very good wife, not to you know. You know we make it mean all these things, but maybe it just means you know what? I'm a woman. I have this hormonal shift and that's the biggest thing. What am I making something mean? And once you say it out loud, it's like well, I'm making it mean that I'm a failure. Well, is that true, doris? No, it's not. What it means is I'm day one of my cycle. We just got back from a Disney cruise and I feel like laying on the couch and recovering from being around 5,000 people, but we have a toddler. So guess what? Everybody gets the easy bend today.
Claire Uncapher:You know like, and really just giving yourself a break, yeah, um, I would say. I would say, if we could do that more, give yourself some credit, like, give yourself a break, give yourself some credit and give yourself so much compassion. You are doing an amazing job. An awesome job with all you've been through, all you juggle, all you, you know, have on your plate. I think just women are amazing and we are so harsh on ourselves. And then I think, healing the. You know, in psychology they call it cognitive dissonance, but it's inner conflicts. Yeah.
Claire Uncapher:So parts of us, I do a little form of part therapy too, and there's a part of me that loves my children and would die for them, and then there's a part of me that hates the work of motherhood, and those two parts of me had to have a little conversation. Yeah. So if you allow yourself to live conflicted, then I think that's a big cause of our unhappiness.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, I definitely agree there. So I have one last question for you Before I get to the last question one I want to just say thank you for the work that you're doing. I think it's really, really important. There's, you know, as everybody knows, there's so much need for support around mental health and wellness, and so I just appreciate the work that you're doing and and helping the clients that you're helping as well. So, thank you. Yeah. Where can people find you, where can they connect with you and and um find you online.
Claire Uncapher:So they can find me on my website, claireuncifercom, and Unifer is not the easiest, so I'm sure she'll. Uh, nika will put it in the show notes I'll link to everything.
Claire Uncapher:Yeah, and so you can find me on claireuncifercom, and I'm really excited. This week I'm launching um, an online community within the community. I'm gonna have every course I've ever done, every masterclass, live Q&A calls, live trainings, all my meditations and subconscious journeys. It's really so the client can just like they can. I have pre-recorded sessions to discover the root cause of whatever you want to discover and walk you through how to live authentically guilt-free, how to, uh, communicate argument-free like there's we're just never taught that and um, so so much information. I've put it all in this community and I'm getting ready to launch that. So it's going to. It's called the healing RX community and the RX is prescriptions at the healing prescription community, and so that's going to be there. And then you can also find me on Instagram. I'm pretty active on Instagram. A lot of free content on there. You can also DM me.
Nika Lawrie:I'll be sure to link to everything in the show notes to just make it as easy as possible. Okay, so, claire, my last question for you is what inspiring message do you have for someone who maybe feels stuck or is struggling with mental health issue, or is just working to transform their life and trying to feel better?
Claire Uncapher:The inspiring message, my message that if you have heard me before, you've already heard it is nothing is wrong with you, Like it's nothing's wrong with you. You are the appropriate amount of sad for the sad things that have happened to you. You are the appropriate amount of angry for the way you've been treated. Nothing's wrong with you. You may have experienced things that have left you feeling traumatized, you know, triggered. All these things, and all the mental health profession is to do is label you depressed and anxious, but nothing's wrong with you inherently, you know, unless you're psychotic, that's like people are like, oh, people love it. What about this and this and this and this? And I'm like there there is a biochemical, but there's just. I feel like we've been lied to, you know.
Claire Uncapher:And and I was talking to a friend the other day and her son was having some problems with some very real things and you know, helping him, they took him to a psychiatrist, they put him on medicine, started him in therapy and now he has an anxiety disorder because he was struggling with normal things and the parents didn't do anything wrong. They did what they needed to do to take care of their kid, but I just felt so bad for this little boy who's going to grow up through his whole life with his anxiety disorder. Yeah, and I need medication for my anxiety. And when I was like, oh my God.
Claire Uncapher:Sometimes those labels are more detrimental than beneficial and I spend a lot of time sometimes having to work with people. My anxiety, my this Well, yeah, I have anxious feelings too and I tend towards anxious, yeah, but I don't believe I have an anxiety disorder anymore, yeah, I just. I just have to be more aware of what's going, like, what's going on. There's a message in these uncomfortable feelings and in this anxiety. What's the message? Yeah, and so, um and once you can risk in our and our emotions are like the toddler in the backseat of the car Mom, look. If you don't turn around and look, it's going to Mom, yeah, you know. And so you have to turn around and say oh, wow, honey, that's great For them to quiet down those toddlers, to quiet down Emotions are like that, if you don't listen to that, like something will happen and it'll bother you.
Claire Uncapher:Yeah, you don't listen, pay attention, honor it. It will start shouting, shouting, shouting, shouting, shouting, shouting, but we don't stop to like what's going on. You know what's going on, and that's the question I always ask people when they talk to me about their issues is what was going on when this first, when you first started experiencing this? And it's just crazy. People will be like well, my parents got divorced, my sister got molested, my brother died, and you know what I mean and I'm just like no wonder Like yeah.
Claire Uncapher:And you were, how old? Yeah, oh my. God. Yeah, are you OK? Yeah, so nothing against. You know, like traditional therapy and medication, there's definitely a place and time that that's appropriate. I just, I just really feel like we've done a really disservice to people to basically make them feel like something's wrong with them when look at what you've been through, look at what you've been coping with, look at what you survived, yeah, and let's let's kind of try to work with cleaning up the aftermath of that.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, so that you can enjoy your life Almost, feel empowered for the fact that you did survive the things that you've gone through, right yeah To feeling victimized or held down or held back by them a young girl realized and believed me when I told her nothing was inherently wrong with her.
Claire Uncapher:Yeah, she had survived some pretty tough stuff and had been labeled crazy. Yeah. But she was able to just kind of have this breakdown moment where she felt it all, breakdown moment where she felt it all, and that's like the look on her and the healing that happened after that. And what was very interesting, and I think your listeners need to kind of know, is, as we start healing, it's very interesting how people won't let us heal.
Nika Lawrie:People don't want us to change, because then it's uncomfortable for them, right?
Claire Uncapher:yeah, but it. But it's also like the label thing, like no, you have depression, you have anxiety, you'll have it for the rest of your life, you know, and and people are like no, I feel amazing. I really like. I feel really good and it's like it's crazy, like I wasn't expecting that in my own life, but I experienced it and I've seen my clients experience it where people are not there and I get it right. They're skeptical, but but it's also like you're not happy for my happiness. Yeah.
Claire Uncapher:And I posted something on Instagram recently. It was like you know, people are still discussing versions of you that don't even exist anymore, but they weren't around to see the growth work and they're going to say well, you're no different, but you know, just white noise. Yeah.
Nika Lawrie:Powerful Well, Claire, thank you so so much for taking the time to do this interview and share your knowledge and expertise and just give some tools and tips. I really, really appreciate it and I hope the listeners do as well.
Claire Uncapher:You're welcome, I hope they do as well. Thank you for having me. Thank you.
