The Reality of Business
Welcome to The Reality of Business with Bob & Jeremy, your go-to podcast for insights, stories, and practical advice on all things business.
Since meeting at drama school in 1991, we've been lifelong friends and business partners, drawing on over two decades of experience running a successful sales and management training company together. With Reality Training at the heart of our journey, we've coached thousands, spoken at countless conferences, and travelled the world, gathering a treasure trove of stories, insights, and actionable advice along the way.
Originally launched during the lockdown of June 2021 as Bob & Jeremy’s Conflab, this podcast has evolved into The Reality of Business. Each episode offers a blend of thought-provoking discussions on the most pressing business topics, light-hearted banter, and real-world wisdom to help you think differently and make positive changes in your professional life.
Whether you’re listening as you multitask at work, relaxing at home, or on the move, we've crafted every episode to bring value, a fresh perspective, and a smile to your face. Tune in to discover what you didn't know about the world of business and beyond.
We proudly work with organisations of all sizes, from global corporations to ambitious start-ups, through our company, Reality Training – www.realitytraining.com.
The Reality of Business features original music by Charlie Morrell.
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The Reality of Business
Networking Do’s & Don’ts: Mastering Networking Opportunities
Have you ever wondered what it takes to make a lasting impression at a networking event?
This episode kicks off with a hilarious sketch showcasing some common networking blunders, reminding us all about the importance of making a strong first impression. We dive into practical tips on overcoming shyness, avoiding snap judgments, and dressing for success, all illustrated with personal stories that range from triumphant to toe-curlingly awkward. Whether you're a seasoned pro or just starting out, our insights are designed to help you navigate the often intimidating world of networking with confidence and ease.
But what separates a good conversation from a memorable one? Tune in as we uncover strategies to keep your networking lively and engaging. Stay ahead of the curve by being well-versed in current events and interesting titbits about the venue, show genuine curiosity about others, and sidestep the usual "What do you do?" with more creative questions. We also share a funny anecdote about networking in an unconventional setting, proving that a sense of humour can be one of your best tools. Plus, punctuality tips and ways to make sure your interactions leave a lasting impression are all part of the package.
Networking isn't just about exchanging business cards anymore. As we navigate the blend of traditional and digital methods, we highlight the importance of observing others, the practicality of digital QR codes, and how to thrive in a hybrid work environment. Discover the benefits of creating personalised networking groups and why live events are golden opportunities for personal PR. Join us for a fun, informative, and heartfelt exploration of how to truly master the art of networking.
As we wrap up this season, we thank our loyal listeners, encourage feedback, and look forward to returning with fresh content after our summer break.
For more info, free resources, useful content, & our blog posts, please visit realitytraining.com.
Reality Training - Selling Certainty
Good afternoon, Bobby. Are you all primed for the latest conflab?
Speaker 2:Yes, I am actually, and let's open with a little sketch, shall we? So let's show people how not to behave during a networking event. I'd like you to come up and introduce yourself to me.
Speaker 1:Hi, hello there, oh sorry, just trying to hold my coffee cup. Well, I don't think Is it drinkable. Hello there, oh sorry, just trying to hold my coffee cup while holding the thing. Is it drinkable?
Speaker 2:Not, really. No, what is?
Speaker 1:it you do. Well, what I do is, if you've got an office that you don't like, we can put suspended ceilings in.
Speaker 2:Right, okay, I'm going to have to stop you there because that's absolutely no interest to me, but nice to meet you and hope you have a nice session.
Speaker 1:Cheers.
Speaker 2:Bye, bye, jeremy's Conflap the Reality Podcast. Today, ladies and gentlemen, we're talking to you about networking do's and don'ts.
Speaker 1:It's always fun, isn't it? Why don't we start with some of the don'ts, then we'll look at some do's, then we'll look at some advice and then we're going to clear off and have a summer break.
Speaker 2:How lovely and I've got some really good don'ts. Actually, back in the early days of our business, I used to go to lots of networking events. I used to belong to a networking group that would meet up once a month and we'd have a breakfast and then we'd all go around and introduce ourselves and the whole thing was extremely contrived, I'm sure you can imagine, and so I picked up lots of tips about networking at those, and also, of course, you and I, over the years, have attended many conferences, and, of course, conferences are designed to allow people to network. Although some of the ones we've been to, I'm amazed that that is actually still an objective for some people.
Speaker 1:Well, they write in the program, don't they? Networking sessions.
Speaker 2:Yes, which are anything but actually With no facilitation or no?
Speaker 1:no, they could just put free time, probably do better.
Speaker 2:Yes they could. Or a jolly, or time at the bar, you know, anyway, let's do some of my don'ts. Time at the bar, you know, anyway, let's do some of my don'ts. So if you are going to a networking event or going to a networking conference or to go to something where you are going to meet people for the first time, there's a few key things.
Speaker 2:Now I've chosen some things that I have been guilty of in the past, so I think it's best to sort of get these out in the open right now. So my first one is don't be shy, and that's an incredibly directive thing to say to someone, but I remember going to a networking event in Buckingham, jeremy, many years ago, and for some reason I was gripped with my sort of famous stage fright that I once got at a conference in Cyprus, you remember, where I was just mortified. I have no idea why. I just suddenly had this terrible fear of speaking to people, and I got over it once I started. But I think for some people who are not used to introducing themselves and making conversation, networking might be a bit of a nightmare. So I think you have to adopt a certain sort of strategy of confidence to survive a networking event and that shyness is something to be considered.
Speaker 1:In the end, nobody really minds, you know no, I, and I think probably people listen to us who who've discounted networking because they're shy, anxious, whatever yeah we may not convince you to begin now no, that's true, that is true, that is true. But I mean, yeah, we can come into the tips of the antidotes of that later. But yes, as you say we'll come into how you might overcome that. What else have you come up with as a definite don't?
Speaker 2:okay. Well, I mean, if we listen to the sketch we did at the beginning, I've definitely been guilty of that, although I don't think I've ever been quite so rude, which is, don't judge on first look, and often you'll get a tender networking thing. Walk into a room and with your eyes you will discount more than two-thirds of the room because you just think none of those people are of any interest to me, they're not my type, they think I'm their and I need to focus on people who look like they might be my cup of tea. I could be completely wrong, totally wrong, yeah, totally wrong, but I think that's a habit that many of us have. Now, I've done a lot of work on this, as you know, and when you are judgmental at first glance or first look, it's also a defense mechanism because you don't want to put yourself in an awkward situation yourself. But I think in networking you must accept that you are going to put yourself in slightly awkward situations and how you deal with that something I'm sure we'll come on to. But I think partially that acceptance that you are going to meet people who, at first look, you think I would never meet this person socially in any other context. It doesn't matter. How do you know? And I think it's a bit like marketing.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm also guilty of thinking well, I hear a marketing idea. I think, well, that doesn't appeal to me. Well, of course it doesn't appeal to me. I'm not the target audience. And sometimes we need to get over ourselves and think well, who is the target audience here? And it might not be the person you think it is. I've got another one which is sort of a double-edged sword. Really. I've put don't be scruffy, yeah, and what I mean by that is, if you're a builder, you know you don't need to turn up looking like you're sort of spackled in plaster. You know, I think there's nothing wrong with wearing working clothes, but at the same time, it perhaps makes you less approachable if you just come off the site do doctors turn up at networking events with stethoscopes?
Speaker 1:I?
Speaker 2:think they should. And white jackets, white jackets, yeah, I think that would be brilliant, yeah, brilliant. That's a great idea. Accountants always in a suit, fancy dress networking Come as you are Great idea and in fact, if you're a bookkeeper, you should have one of those sort of green visors over your face. Absolutely brilliant idea that's so good. You should launch that. Now. Number four is going to be very hard for people. Don't sell.
Speaker 2:There's a world of difference between telling people what you do, which they may or may not be interested in, or trying to sell them something. So they say, oh, I publish magazines, great, let me sell you some training. No, just explain what you do and let them make the connection. Okay, don't start selling to that person because you can sell later. Networking is about meeting and forging connections and relationships. Now, lastly, I've got it's linked to the number two.
Speaker 2:Don't judge, but it's also when you're talking to somebody, they may do something that you have no interest in yourself, no link to, but you, of course, know lots of people. So, actually, who do you know in your wider network of friends or relatives who may be interested in that thing that person is doing? So don't completely drop that connection because you think well, there's no business advantage to me here, so I'm not going to pursue it. Have a moment and think about who else you know, because actually the networking is not just the people in the room, it's all the people that those people know, which is the reason for doing it. We're all connected to hundreds of people on LinkedIn. We're connected, most of us, to thousands of people, and I think that's another way to think about it. You can at the very least be kind and say what you're talking about has no interest to me whatsoever. But I know somebody who this may be of interest to and I'll connect you.
Speaker 1:That's a we could argue that that's proper networking.
Speaker 2:That you are networking, you know, using the ing you are yeah not just thinking of yourself.
Speaker 1:You're trying to create networks. Build upon that?
Speaker 2:yes, I think so that's a good list of don'ts.
Speaker 1:Yeah, loads of nice do's though, let's take a break, and after the break we'll come back with do's and positive advice reality training was created in 2001 by Bob and Jeremy, both actors who met at drama school.
Speaker 2:Reality delivers training that is effective, memorable and entertaining, with a touch of theatricality to bring it to life. We now have a company of trainers and actors who you can utilize to create change programs across your business. Please contact us via realitytrainingcom.
Speaker 1:Welcome back. I tried to look at interesting quotes about networking and they weren't brilliant. No one's written anything that funny. I thought maybe Woody Allen might have written a thing about networking. Couldn't't brilliant. No one's written anything that funny. I thought maybe woody allen might have written a thing about networking. Couldn't find anything from him. Dorothy parker, I thought might have had a go I don't think it was a thing you know.
Speaker 2:No, I don't think that's what I'm now.
Speaker 1:I don't think people called it that I think you'd be invited to a well going way back they were salons.
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, yeah, I think you and I should launch a salon. Salon sounds for years, what I wanted to do was move to paris and start bobby's literary salon there you go writers coming over and and artists and models, um you know for lovely and what I love about that and I've been reading I think I may have mentioned this.
Speaker 1:On other part, I've been reading quite a lot of philosophy with my 16 year old and nearly all these philosophers were in salons discussing big ideas Great. They'd often be half writing an idea and they'd go and run it past the rest of them and they'd say, well, that's not bad, degrawchie, but what you want to add. That's not bad, foucault, but what you want to add. And they would go back and expand upon their theories.
Speaker 2:If only networking was so highbrow, bob. I mean, obviously you've read all of Foucault, haven't?
Speaker 1:you. Oh the lot. Yeah, I've been Foucaulted on it, I've been Foucaulted up, yes, and I've avoided his pendulum like mad. So anyway, let me give you these two little quaty bits. And I can't remember his name, bless him. But he said networking should never be hunting, it's only farming which I think is quite helpful. Yes, that's nice because lots of sales organizations, and the famous ones like bni, are about lead generation yeah but actually it's a target, and if you don't, hit it.
Speaker 1:You see, you know you ousted from the group yeah and then the other one again somebody, not necessarily famous, says you'll always meet somebody who knows something you do not, which I thought was quite helpful because we don't know everything, do we?
Speaker 2:well, not all networking sessions have talks. I think if they do have talks, you're more than likely to learn something you don't know. If it's literally a chat, an introduction, and everyone glad hands and goes about their day, then I'm not so sure it's as valuable. Now I've got some ideas that I think could really make a difference to people let's give let's give our listeners some encouragement about what to do so when you're networking.
Speaker 2:You're going to be talking to people, so what are you going to be talking about? Well, my first thing is this do be topical. You must have some broad awareness of what's going on in the world, and if you're able to do that, then you can have expansive conversations about these subjects. And lots of these subjects will be affecting the industry or the industries that you are meeting. So topicality really important. Listen to the news or the radio on the way in and think what's going on in the world, and then you can discuss it with a little bit of interest.
Speaker 1:So I did a talk about networking at the national gallery, at a room off the national gallery for the aoec who trained us in coaching, and I said, as well as reading the news, being gend up, don't live in a sort of hole for a week. You should know something about the place where you're going. So people's going ever been here before? That's nice. That's not very so. If people go we've never been here before, that's nice, that's not very interesting. But if you go, yeah, it's quite interesting. This has actually been. This was once a miner's whatever. This used to be a post office. This was a hotel up until 15 years ago. I first came here as a kid. You should know something about the building and what it's standing from, why they've chosen it, what's the connection? Because lots of companies try and choose a building with some kind of loose connection to their organisation, don't they?
Speaker 2:Well, I once went to a networking group that took place in the cafeteria of a swimming pool. It wasn't conducive. You're introducing your name and company. A beautiful woman in a bikini launches herself off the top board and dives into the water, and it's slightly distracting. Was there a kind of odor of? Chlorine oh yes, pervading, yeah yeah, and at the end of it you really wanted a bag of frazzles, you know?
Speaker 2:yeah, so funny and you didn't want to be given them and you wanted to try and get them out of machine, out of the machine that would take the money and not pay. So isn't it bizarre how we all know what that means. So on the subject of talking, so topicality is one thing. The next thing I think you should do is be somebody who has ideas, because you could then say to anybody you meet what are you looking for here? I'm looking for this sort of client or that sort of client or this connection or that connection, and ideas are interesting. Here's an idea for you. Now, they may not like your idea, they may not want to do anything with your idea, but if you're somebody who has ideas, that's incredibly attractive, much more attractive than someone who goes, no, I can't help it, I'm afraid, and moves on. So I think be somebody who has ideas.
Speaker 1:Which links to my thing of curiosity. So you should try, try and, as you've already said, even if it doesn't interest, you should attempt to have a curiosity about them so that you could perhaps give them an idea and say have you tried, have you done this? And also, if you split that back the other way, you can ask for ideas. And, as bob's saying, how crestfallen would it be when you say have you got an idea for me? No, no, no, no one gave you an idea. We should all be able to, to give ideas some kind of. Have you tried? Look into this resources, try over there. You'll be better off in the next town.
Speaker 2:They're bigger than us, whatever it might be okay, now I've got a couple of really straightforward ones. Do be on time, because a networking event starts and you stagger in 15 minutes late and it's not a good look. You're better off not going at all, actually.
Speaker 1:So just get up earlier and just be there on time so how about I talk about some of the sort of annoyances? So in our training, we'll often talk about one of the worst effective opening questions, which is what do you do? And you may be asked this by somebody who's not been trained. They're going to come up to you and say what do you do? So rather than going, I do suspended ceilings. It's better to frame it in a different way. So Bobby and I are going to write this out. He, he's gonna ask me as a bad networker, what do you do?
Speaker 2:and I'm gonna use my little formula and I love the fact we're using suspended ceilings, which I know that 50 of our listeners will have.
Speaker 1:In fact, you know what suspended ceilings business must be not doing as well as it was I should imagine so, because most people don't know what they are.
Speaker 1:Jeremy okay, should we explain? So let's just say you worked like Bob and I did in an office in the 90s or the 80s. You look above you. You've got these awful kind of you know you could push it and hide in it or it would collapse. They've changed the dynamic of the ceiling to hide cables and things and they've got light sunken into them because they're not going to drill straight into the main wall. So companies put these awful suspended ceiling in as a way of improving the lighting and so on. It's pretty dull.
Speaker 2:They do it in shops as well. There you go. Yeah, that sort of thing. Retail fitters would put suspended ceilings. Yeah, and as a way of hiding all ales.
Speaker 1:Just add another level of a suspended ceiling. The suspended ceiling could keep coming lower over the years.
Speaker 2:So Bob suspended.
Speaker 1:Ceiling the suspended ceiling could keep coming lower over the years. So bob's gonna ask me what do I do? Okay, and I'm gonna give you a response. Hello there, um, I'm bob. Well, hi, bob, hi, what? What do you do? Well, you know, when you're at home and you are trying to sort out your car insurance, yeah, or your house insurance, or you're wanting to speak to your bank, or you're trying to book your lovely Audi if that's yours outside in for a service, you know you have to speak to people to get these things done, yes. And when you ring this kind of, that veil of frustration falls upon you, knowing right from the off it's going to be a fairly awful experience of press, one. You're going to be asked dull questions and you've got to go through the rigmarole to try to ensure your car yeah, get better advice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I'm talking about yeah, so what we do is we get hold of those people before they speak to you so that they ask you more exciting questions, so they might suggest something you've never thought of. So they sell you something you actually need. It's what a lot of people might call sales training and leadership training that sort of stuff.
Speaker 2:Got you, got you, okay. Why don't you ask me what?
Speaker 1:I do so. Yeah, I was very keen to know. And you, are you in the same line of work as me or not?
Speaker 2:well, it's funny, you should say that when you were talking about all those places that people phone into. Lots of those people will work in offices that were built in the 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s. What we do is we go into those offices and, rather than spend a lot of money refurbishing them, we stick in cover-ups all over the ceilings, which allows us to change the lighting, change the wiring at a very, very low cost. I mean, some people call it suspended ceilings, but that's what you do, I call it 250 pounds a meter.
Speaker 1:Well, I've got a mate who's been complaining about his office, so I've got someone I think you could help straight away.
Speaker 1:Sounds good and off we go Deal with a what do you do question. Try not to worry, if you aren't the most amazing pitcher, you can be the most amazing questioner. That's kind of my thing. Oh really, how does that work? Just the curiosity, because then people remember you as somebody who is inquisitive, positive and ask lots of questions. You don't have to have all the answers. I think it's better to turn up to these things with more of the questions and the answers no, and I would add something to what we just did as well.
Speaker 2:I don't think you necessarily need to say some people call it sales training some people call it suspended ceilings.
Speaker 2:I would just say that's what we do and just leave it at that. Let them come to that conclusion. You don't need to say that Now I've got something to add to that. So let's imagine you do meet somebody at a networking event who does do suspended ceilings, which you have absolutely no interest in whatsoever. Okay, because you're at a networking event, there is nothing wrong with saying, well, very nice to meet you. I'm now going to go and network with some more people and just move on. You don't need to say what you do is deadly dull and I couldn't care less. You just be polite and move on, because that's what you're there to do now. That will maximise your time there, rather than spending half an hour locked in a conversation with somebody about ceilings or flooring.
Speaker 1:Because you'll give up networking, then won't you? You'll go.
Speaker 2:It was fruitlessless.
Speaker 1:Just say thanks good to meet you. I hope you find some people with yeah um, who you can really help and just move on. Or if you've got a weak bladder like mine, you can always go to the loo and by the time you're back they're in conversation with someone else, unless they're really dull.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, exactly now, the other thing is you often get fed and you know questionable coffee is served and, uh, bacon rolls and that sort of thing. Enjoy all that because it's free. You know questionable coffee is served and bacon rolls and that sort of thing. Enjoy all that because it's free, you know, or you've paid whatever you've paid to turn up. Then do that, enjoy the food and wine, and that's actually a good thing to sort of build rapport around. You know, if the coffee is absolutely undrinkable, then that is quite amusing because quite often it's just, you know, a very poor filtered blend, although I remember in America we did have an excellent filtered blend. It's just, you know, a very poor filtered blend, although I remember in america we did have an excellent filtered blend, which was you know by wolfgang, wolfgang, wolfgang park and surprisingly, he didn't give a anyway.
Speaker 2:So it's great when you have good coffee, but it's really good at networking events, I think. Coming on to the idea of of conferences, at conferences you can of course talk about what's happened at the conference. There's your conversation point. Yeah, there's your love you enjoyed so far. Oh, I really enjoy the sponsored guy who had obviously done no preparation whatsoever and fell over his words and completely balled up the presentation he must have paid a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly right, that's a great thing, but no, what's nice is the ones that surprise you. I remember once you and I went to a conference where we'd all been out till the early hours the night before and we all turned up for the first show at 9 30 and it was a guy from a large ferry company and he just took the mickey out of everyone for half an hour because everyone was hung over, didn't really want to be there, had their heads in their hands and he actually made something of that, rather than trying to do a corporate presentation which nobody was going to be receptive to at that time in the morning and in that state.
Speaker 2:So that then made a conversation for the rest of the conference and actually made him more approachable as a person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you know that there are things which make it more conversation I think the other thing that connects is when you then filter out whether it's a conference, a networking session within a day and conference networking is part of it or you turn up at something and you filter out. When you see people deep in conversation and giggling and laughing, that means that they formed a relationship over time yeah and it's not for you to go.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, this person's more funny. They probably have known each other for five years, four years, ten years, so there'll be other people that you can look at and go. Well, they don't know anyone either. So just go there.
Speaker 2:You don't have to try and break up conversations so when you do meet people, of course everyone swaps business cards and I do wonder about the validity of these products these days. But of course these days, what lots of people have is a qr code on their phone and they offer that, and you see people hovering trying to get each other's qr codes off the and if it works quickly, then that's great and efficient and modern. When it doesn't work, there's that embarrassing moment where you're trying to get the digital thing to pick up, in which case just give somebody a card and I know that we're trying to save the world and not have so many printed products, but actually a networking place is perfect for a card.
Speaker 1:Or just ask for their number and stick it in your phone.
Speaker 2:I mean place is perfect for a card, or just ask for their number and stick it in your phone and I mean, yeah, I think that's really funny because you, if you really don't want to give your number to somebody, you might just read it out to them and get one.
Speaker 1:Get one digit wrong and and they can't get a hold of you.
Speaker 1:You know, I mean that would be very cruel. The other thing about networking is we could argue, since the pandemic and the hybrid world that we are now in, it's almost more important than ever before, because some people could decide to work from home five days a week and never leave their home, and previously there might have been regional, local, city-based things them to partake in. So I think it's well worth a look, and networking is also by a number of different filters, so it can be networking by size of business, so the classic sme.
Speaker 1:It can be networking by role type, so ceo networking, cfo, lawyer networking, whatever it is you do, you just do enough research. You would have to pay to do that sort of thing. Oh yeah, I was about to come on to that. I was about to come on to that a lot of people think networking is only valuable if it's free and just by paying a small amount to cover the bacon rolls and the coffee, which might cost you 10 pounds a week or 15 pounds a fortnight. That's fine, but you may need to pay a bit more to, in the same way as dating, to get into a pool of other people that might be the right place to swim. You might need to pay for the luxury of getting into that.
Speaker 2:I think we have done a nice little section here on networking. We'll be interested to hear what listeners think of this subject and whether they still do it and whether it's something that they've stopped doing, that they might like to start doing again, doing that they might like to start doing again. And, of course, linkedin has lots of groups and different conglomerations of people who work in similar industries who network with each other online. But I think also there's a case for having broader connections through different people, because otherwise you're not going to meet prospects from up or down the spectrum. I think also, if you are a new business and you want people to do your website, your marketing, your accountancy, your bookkeeping, all those different things that you will be wanting to outsource then a local networking club will probably give you everything, everything.
Speaker 1:Well, not just if you're new. So I was going to say two things. I can roll them together. You might want to start your own networking group. So a few weeks back I went to one, an ex-student of mine who was at the uni, called founders and friends, in toaster. He filmed it, took photos. The photos went on their website. Lorraine, who works for, saw the photos. Then we found our photographer, so suzanne, who came and took our images.
Speaker 1:So that's all a sort of happy coincidence from attending a group. But you might want to start your own. You might want to create something else and not just, you know, think they've got to just be in my village. Maybe I can drive five miles, maybe I need a better venue, maybe I combine it it with something, maybe I have speakers, maybe I don't, or maybe you have a different kind of ethos. This group wanted people to become friends over years. You know, let's try and actually really support each other without this quick lead idea. So I think you could redesign what it means to you and set your own one up.
Speaker 2:And also, I think if you're attending live events, it gives you something to splurge on your own social media to show yourself getting out there and meeting people. It's a good bit of PR, so why not do it? For that reason alone, it's better than sitting at your desk hoping that your presence online is going to attract people. Why not get out there and do a bit of both? Get it to come together in that way? In the meantime, enjoy our podcast on networking do's and don'ts. We will see you after the summer break with some new topics and we thank you for your listening. Please stick your reviews and your comments online and in fact, you can now send us questions and things via our various platforms. And in the meantime, have a lovely summer and I hope you, jeremy, have a lovely time where you're off to and you have a good summer too.
Speaker 1:Have a well-earned break.
Speaker 2:I will indeed.
Speaker 1:And we'll be back, probably September. Can't say exactly when we'll go live, but we will be back Absolutely At the start of the autumn.
Speaker 2:We'll see you then. Thank you, bob and Jeremy's Conflap the Reality Podcast. The Reality Podcast.