Kasbh's Rant #157 Consent is more then just Touching!!

This week is not your regular show on consent.  You need to give it a listen and determine how you can do better.  This show is hard hitting and straight forward to put it mildly!!!! 
https://mycupcondom.com/discount/KASBH10    My cup condom
http://www.motorbunny.com
http://www.asnlifestylemagazine.com
http://www.fullswapshop.com
http://www.smokinmeatsbbqtreats.com
https://www.onlyfans.com/msamandakasbh
: http://www.krazykasbh.com
:  http:// www.youtube.com/kasbh
emails krazy.kasbh@gmail.com
Twitter:  @TruthKrazy

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Casbo Rants. Holy shit, fuck, are you shitting me? No fucking way, you've lost your fucking mind. Sweet mother of Christ, what's wrong with you? No, fuck, shit, son of a, damn it! Get over it. Un-fucking-believable. Casbah Rants. Let's go. Hey, you crazy motherfuckers. Welcome back to another edition of Casbah's Rant. I'm Casbah. We're the part that rants. I'm Cole. I'm here to tantalate and titillate you with my... Overindulgent opinions of the lifestyle and everything going on with it. And for those of you who knew, we are following, we're now doing it live as well. So on our secret, secret, secret, secret Facebook group. So go on and give it a click when I post it live today so it helps my numbers. Appreciate it. For those of you following along at home, this is Season 5, Episode 157. And we're going strong. Quick shout out to our sponsors. ASMLifestyleMagazine.com Also, do not forget. You can vote until the end of this month every single day at asnlifestylemagazineawards.com Make sure you vote for Crazy Winter Nights for Best Expo Trade Show Convention and a Best Adult Takeover. Don't forget to vote for our friends the Juicy Debauchery for Best New Business and the Fun Pineapples for Best Podcast. Check those guys out as well. As well as some of the porn stars, etc, etc, etc. Just saying. Also SmokinMeatsBBQTreats.com. Let me spell it for you. S-M-O-K-I-N-M-E-A-T-S-B-B-Q-T-R-E-A-T-S.com. Six different flavors. Make sure you use Casbah 15. Get a 15% discount coming soon. Our very own special blend. That's right. Doesn't get better than that. We have our own meat rubs now because that's what we do. And finally... Don't trust your hard-earned money for just any sex toys. Nope. Make sure you get a Motorbunny.com. Go to Motorbunny.com, get a Motorbunny. You can get either the brand new buck or the original. You can go on our porn page on Pornhub, search for Casbah, and you can see Miss Amanda's review of the new buck, i.e. she's riding it and how she liked it. So check that out. All right, so let's get on with the rant, shall we? Oh, what an interesting week this has been, kids. so okay bear with me a little bit as i first start this off because i gotta give you a pre-story or a partial pre-story a little bit what we had was a concept of consent out look before you go fucking other consent one yeah yeah yeah but here's the deal let's clarify this to begin with consent is Consent is the common courtesy and respecting of other people. It is about a respect thing. In real life, if someone says, hey, do you want a cup of coffee? No, thank you. You respect it. You don't keep hounding, badgering otherwise. You don't just go get them shit either or take shit. That's consent. So we understand the problem in the lifestyle. We think of consent. It's only about touching. And there's a huge backlash because there is There's two schools of thought. There's the school of thought that everything needs to be asked for, and there's the school of thought that that's so, you know, woke and whatever that we need to look at doing it, it's not that difficult. And the reality of it is consent, there's a happy medium and a fine line. Part of consent that's not talked about enough in the lifestyle is accepting the answer you're given. It's not just asking for permission to do something. It's accepting the answer when the answer is no. Now, look, I'm going to cover a lot of things here today, okay? I really am. But I'm kind of pissed on some things, and I'm going to fucking lay some of the things right out there. I want to talk about drinking. I want to talk about booze and buying drinks, because that's what spurred this whole fucking thing on for me today. Number one, here's the problem with alcohol, is that a lot of people... Mean well, but once they get drunk, they don't take the answer they're given. At that point in time, you're breaking consent. And what do I mean by this? When you go up and apologize 17 times, you're told no, then you won't leave the person alone because you're apologizing, because you're drunk. Or because you think that it's no big deal, right? So you want to do something nice. You're trying to be nice. Someone else doesn't like it. You don't like the answer, so you keep doing it anyways. Consent is about understanding when someone says no or someone seems uninterested to stop. Get away. Let it go. If we had a fucking huge stick that we could carry with us and every time somebody broke that rule of consent, we could hit them with it, as God is my witness, all we do is walk around bopping people on the head. Seriously. It's an understanding and a respecting the wishes, okay? We get that. We understand the common sense is a girl says no or a guy says no about a sexual advance. They say stop, no, that we stop. And people can't even get that figured out. It doesn't mean that then it's okay to brood, pout, bitch, moan, chastise, make fun of someone for their decision accordingly. We accept it and we move on. That's one of the most forgotten parts of consent. If you end up subconsciously or side-eye, side-on-behind-the-table-around-the-back way of bullying someone because you didn't like their answer, it's just as guilty as if you didn't stop to begin with. Common sense. Walk away. Get away. Knock it the fuck off. What needs to start happening, and this is the part that the kind of general world we're definitely disappointed in, is that there was a time that we could take and when you fucked up on consent, you could punch somebody in the fucking face. Because I promise you that that would go a lot farther away to stop people from continuing to badger. And when we said no, and then you went, oh, we could punch you. And maybe that's what we need to get back to. I don't know. But just a common sense factor here. Now, here's one of the other challenges with consent. Everybody means well, okay? They really sincerely do. A lot of people want to talk about consent. They want to share their message as consent. They want to let people know how they feel about something. We see it on social media all the time when people want to go on a little rant about private messages or a little rant about how somebody behaves somewhere. They mean well with it. Let me explain to you the challenge that happens when you want to take and play the game of being the verbal moral compass in a group, club, society, etc. You have best be prepared for backlash. Because one thing that's very human nature all the way across borders, no one likes to be called out or told what to do. And so the natural instinct of people is to respond with taking a look at your track record. If you notice when most of my rants, and I start bitching about things on my rants, one of the things that you will find continuously is I put examples of my own failures within my rants. Why? Why do I do that? I do that because, you know what, my rants are about things that each and every one of us have things we need to work on. No one needs to break out the kiddie pool to fill it with water and walk across it because it doesn't exist. And a willingness to point out, hey, you know what, I'm not just talking, when I do my rants, I'm not just talking to you and you and you and you and you and each one of my listeners. I'm talking to myself. It's a reminder to myself of how things that I can do better. And I like to point out the fact of things where my failings, I've realized some of my failings. That's important. So when you take and put that out there, when you take and choose, and this isn't life too, this isn't just a swinger world. When you take and choose to point out north on the moral compass of society, society is going to take a look and go, do you have the right to point it out? And we need to be prepared for that. And that's ultimately the message I want to talk about today. You know what? There's a million and one. We all know about consent. We all know about common sense. We know about consent. We know about courtesy and professionalism and being an adult. We all know about all those things. The fact that we're inable, inept, or unwilling to navigate society using them correctly, that's on us. And if we are unable to stop and take a very serious look at ourselves, and I don't just mean a general glance, yeah, we're pretty good. I mean a fucking hardcore, turn the bright lights on, get a magnifying glass, and look at our lives and see how can we take and live beyond reproach, then we have a problem. Now, I'm in a unique position because my position allows me to or affords me the opportunity to get to hear about all different types of things, good, bad, and indifferent, which allows me to have unique perspective. It also allows me to be constantly inundated with things that maybe I want to take a look at to see how I can do better myself. And I'm going to tell each and every one of you listening right now, every single one of us have violated consent at one point in time or another. To what degree we have violated or what form of consent, that's each and every individualist to know. But we have, each and every single one of us, violated consent. And I'm telling you right now, for many of the folks listening, I know you. I've seen you. I've seen it. And you've seen mine. We've all made that mistake of being too intoxicated, too handsy, Too verbally suggestive. Too friendly. Too shitty. The list goes on. The reality of the situation is, is that each and every one of us have at some point in time allowed outside influences, whether those be alcohol, drugs, what's happening in our world, to influence our behavior for that day, that evening, that event. And in turn... taking us to make a mistake and a wrong judgment. Now, understand, folks, I'm not talking about your habitual, serial consent violators. And there are those that are out there. We know that. We absolutely know and we understand that. I am talking about each and every one of us, everyday, regular shit. Each and every one of us that have managed to say something to make someone uncomfortable, to ignore someone's wishes and or not read the signs that we are behaving in a way that is not appropriate or that they're not comfortable with. But what do we do about it? And when does it come to the forefront? And how do we solve it? The reality of it is, is quite honestly, the most important thing that we can do is analyze our own behavior. You've heard me say this a million times in my rants because it's true. Analyze our own behaviors. Take a look. Think back to the event. And here's the deal. If you're so fucked up, whether it's because of emotion, booze, drugs, whatever the case may be, that you can't remember the event, there's your first problem. Now you already know step one of what you got to do. And yes, many of you listening know me know that I can absolutely fall in that category. Been there, done that. Absolutely. But the reality of it is, is we need to sit back and take a look at our actions. If we had an interaction with someone, we should do this in our regular life. If you had an interaction with someone, was it appropriate? If you're at work and you don't think about it, you start to tell a joke that's an off-color joke, is that appropriate? No. We have to be our own human resource department, so to speak. We have to look back and go, oh, shit. I fucked up. And then we have to make amends accordingly. The reality of it is there's nothing funny about any form of consent. And there's nothing that diminishes anyone's opinion on what's necessary for consent. There are people out there that go, we just need to go back to the old ways. You can just touch people and do whatever the fuck you want. No, we don't. We also don't need to go back to treating women like second-class citizens. We don't need to treat minorities like second-class citizens. No, no, we don't. The good old days weren't always that good. But we need to be willing and understand the fact that we must examine our behaviors and reach out to correct the ones that we've done that have been incorrect and wrong. We must be willing to reach out and understand that we might have to eat crow on some things. Well, we might have to do some things so that people don't necessarily like and apologize for something we've done that was stupid. We might have to say, I'm sorry, I was completely inappropriate. We may have to look at changing our behavior. The question is not whether or not can you do it, because we all have the ability to do it. The question is whether or not will you do it. Will you do what is necessary to do to be a better person? This is beyond about the lifestyle. This is about being a better person, a better human, a better part of society as a whole, not just a sub-society of swinging, but overall society. Will we be better? Are we willing to be better? Are we willing to work harder? Are we willing to look at ourselves and realize that we fucked up? Folks, I'm going to tell you what, you have to do this in every part of your life. I can tell you that I'm living the experience of things that I could have done better to be a better husband, things I could have done to be a better father, things I could have done to be a better provider, a better leader. Those are things that I'm going to do in my real life right now. And you know what? Sometimes when you examine the past and you examine your actions, you have to be willing to understand that it's going to hurt when you find out you were wrong. This is what you must do with consent. You must be willing to look and think back to that interaction that you had with that male or female and go... Was it appropriate how I touched them? Was it appropriate how I talked to them? Did I have permission? Did I make an assumption? Did I assume it was okay to buy a drink? You know what? Maybe somebody's a recovering alcoholic and buying them a drink will shoot them over the edge. I know there's people that have went, oh, people just need to go just say no. You know what? Here's a deal. How about instead of that, how about when you're told no, you understand that no means no? That's the challenge. That's the true nature and the problem with what we have. It's not the nitpicking of what you can or can't do. It's understanding and appreciating what the actual words mean. As you listen to this and you think back just to the last events you've had in the last six months. Fuck, six weeks. Did you ever not take no for no? And right now, they say no no matter what it is I follow through. Really? Did you crack a joke about it? Hassle them about the no? Did you say, oh, come on. Did you give them a little bit of shit about it? Because it's funny. It's cute. It's not funny. It's not cute. When someone says no and you do that, what are you doing? That's called bullying. That's called pressuring. Oh, it's just a joke. No, it's not. It's disrespectful. We function in a society and involved in an activity that you have to give respect, or you should, because we want to get laid. We want to take to the highest level, the highest partaking, which is sexual, right? And yet, it should be the most obvious respect. So what, you know what? Respect their wishes. Respect their words. Listen. Listen to hear. Not respond. Listen even if the results of the words are not what you wanted. Follow through. Without bullshit, without hassling, without wisecracks, without bullshit. Listen and follow through. Say okay and be respectful. Is it that hard? No. I can tell you it's much easier to do that at the time of an event or a time of a situation than it is the next day to make a phone call or send out a message going, hey, I want to apologize because I really fucked that up. I was wrong. That is a hard motherfucker to make, but it's a necessary one. And the challenge that I challenge each and every one of you right now to do, to think back, who do you need to apologize to? Because each and every one of us listening to this and saying it has someone they need to apologize to, has someone that they did not get consent, did not get permission, did not take their words and just absolutely just go, okay, and walk away. Who do you owe an apology to? Now, here's the thing. Is anybody going to know if you do it or not? Nope. The only people who know is you and the person that you apologize to. That person may say, hey, it was no big deal. That's awesome of them. That person may say, about fucking time, and that's okay too. The only people who are going to know You and the person involved. But if you give a fuck about this community, if you give a fuck about the lifestyle, if you give a fuck about the people within it, and if you give a fuck about your own self-worth and reputation, you will take and make that exceedingly difficult phone call, message, etc., And say, I fucked up. I apologize. And then not repeat the mistake. Learn from it. A mistake happens. It happens to all of us. And if we learn from it, no harm, no foul. But if we fucking apologize and then turn and do the exact same thing again and again and again and again, then you become habitual. And then at that point in time, you are the problem. It's no longer a mistake. It is a choice. It is a motherfucking choice. The truth is, Most people, a lot of people, many people, some people are literally choosing to do what they choose. In their mind, it's not a big deal because it's not a big deal to them. And the reason it's not a big deal to them is because they're not the ones saying no. I don't give a fuck if you think we live in too much of a woke world or not. When the shoe is on the other foot, when the perspective is the other way, when it's you saying no... You want those wishes honored. You want those wishes followed. When it is your wife getting badgered or hounded or your husband getting badgered and hounded and you step in and say, no, you want your wishes honored, then God damn it, have the common courtesy to honor somebody else's. And if you find you're unable to do that, for whatever reason. Whether it be too much liquor, too many drugs, too many just don't give a fuck. Do all of this and yourself a huge favor and stop attending events. Get out. We don't want you in our lifestyle. We don't want you in our community. A really excellent way to determine whether or not something's over the top, would you do it at work? When somebody tells you no at your job, will you go, come on, don't be a pussy? Would you say that at your work? Like, oh, I've got my buddies. Really? Would you? Folks, I stand here and do these rants, not as someone above reproach. Not in the least. I stand here and do these rants as someone who has made mistakes, continues to make mistakes, and continues to have to fix those mistakes. That continuously has had to say, I'm sorry, that was inappropriate, I was wrong. And it is painful, and you know what? I don't claim to be anything else. I stand here and do this rant and deliver this message as someone who, Just another one of you, we're all the same. We can all do better. To give you an example, if you watch my barbells since mid-January, you'll notice they went down substantially because I realized, you know what? I might need to be a little more in control of how much alcohol I consume so I don't put somebody in an awkward situation, so I don't make someone feel uncomfortable. Not by touching, but by cracking an inappropriate joke or saying something that could be perceived as pushy. Am I perfect? Nope. But I'll tell you what, I watch it very carefully. I work to do better, and I still have many, many moons to go, as we all do. But I encourage you. I invite you. I invite you to share this rant with your groups. Share this rant with your friends. Share this rant with your spouses. And I encourage you to take the time and the effort and the energy and figure out who you need to say you're sorry to and apologize to and follow through and do it. I'll tell you as a side parting note-ish. It's amazing when you'll make that statement, that call, that whatever, and you'll say that you're sorry. It's amazing how that will trigger somebody else to look at their shit and do the same thing. And what a ripple effect, what a positive ripple effect it can have in a lifestyle. It's not rocket science, kids. So I hope that this message gets to everybody because... We all need to hear it. Just saying. Kids, you've heard me say it before and I'll say it again. This rant's over.