Unveiling the Mindset of Wealth (w/ Stoy Hall)

Have you ever wondered why we often overspend despite our best intentions? Join us in this enlightening episode as we sit down with Stoy Hall, a certified financial planner with an inspiring backstory. Raised by a single mother, Stoy’s experiences with financial scarcity and identity complexities have uniquely shaped his understanding of money. From dreams of the NFL and the Navy SEALs to finding his true calling in financial planning, Stoy shares his journey and the pivotal role early money memories play in shaping our financial behaviors. Learn how Stoy's work with the Boys and Girls Club and his education at Drake University illuminated the importance of addressing the emotional and psychological aspects of money management.

What's the secret to a prosperous mindset? Drawing inspiration from "The Five Love Languages," we explore how recognizing others' love languages can improve not just relationships, but also financial decisions. Stoy dives into the contrasting mindsets of the wealthy and the financially unstable, providing practical examples like differing views on car payments to illustrate how mindset impacts financial success. We also discuss discovering one's purpose and the vital role parents and grandparents have in imparting financial wisdom to the next generation, setting them up for a lifetime of financial stability.

Finally, we tackle the crucial topic of financial literacy and its many sources—schools, family, social media, and professional advisors. Stoy emphasizes the importance of focusing on mastering one area, such as real estate investment, before diversifying. Sharing personal stories and strategies, he guides listeners on overcoming financial fears and enhancing their money IQ. As we redefine true wealth, we highlight how living a joyous life, giving back, and living on your own terms are the ultimate goals. Tune in to gain valuable insights and practical advice to embark on your own wealth-building journey with confidence.

CONNECT WITH STOY
https://www.instagram.com/stoyhall/
https://www.blackmammoth.com/our-family
www.youtube.com/@stoyhall/

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:30

This is Wealthy AF, your ultimate guide to understand what it truly means to be Wealthy AF. Today I have a pretty cool guest. His name is Stoy Hall. He's a certified financial planner. Raised in a context where identity, racial dynamics and financial scarcity were daily realities, he navigated a path that's both unique and universally inspiring. His early dreams swayed between becoming an NFL player and a Navy SEAL, ambitions fueled by his passion for football and his desire for overcoming challenges. This drive led him to Drake University, where he balanced his role as a team development officer for the Boys and Girls Club with his academic pursuit in finance, business law and insurance. He's also the host for the no BS Wealth podcast, which is a pretty cool name, brother. Welcome to the podcast, my friend. Appreciate you coming on.

Speaker 2: 1:29

I appreciate it. We were just chopping up about the podcast names and that I'm all for it.

Speaker 1: 1:32

I'm down for it. Yeah, man, yeah, so, so story, why don't you tell us your journey, tell us your story on? Why did you decide, from football player, these dreams of Navy SEAL and all these aspirations and all these ambitions that you had as a young man, to now going into the financial field?

Speaker 2: 1:52

Yeah, it all started when I was a kid. My father really wasn't around, raised by a single mother who worked 12-hour shifts, and I understood that money is a factor in life. She always thought like gifts and accessories were the way to love and ambition. I quickly realized that like it's experiences and being around people, but the ultimate thing is we all derive that with money right. Money's integrated in our society nowadays and so early on I recognized hey, I want to help people Like that's just naturally who I am.

Speaker 2: 2:26

Then got to Drake University playing football, recognizing that probably not going to NFL, you know, a little too slow.

Speaker 2: 2:34

And at the Boys and Girls Club, that same thought I had when I was a child kept popping up with every child and everybody I ran into and, luckily enough, through Drake University there was a lot of great experiences we got to do.

Speaker 2: 2:47

But I met a lot of people, both wealthy and not, both rich and not, and everyone had the same issue and that issue was their relationship with money and letting money ruin their lives or run their lives, as opposed to them being in control and using money as a tool. And so I knew I wanted to do that early on and then just develop that through my school I didn't know the right path. Right. I didn't know in this industry which way to go. Start in the insurance realm, selling life insurance, like a lot of us do, but realize that that wasn't it either. And in the RA space since a long time ago and recognize that's the way. Being a consultant, being a CFP, allowing you to take money and get rid of the money term and just deal with people and their emotions that's what we work with every day now?

Speaker 1: 3:39

Perfect, you know. Today, I want us to talk about the psychology of spending and why it's difficult for people to manage their finances. You being a CFP, a certified financial planner for those of you that don't know what that is you probably encountered a lot of people. You just mentioned that, drake. You've met rich people. You've met poor people and their relationship with money. Everyone has a different relationship with money. Why do people sometimes spend more money than they plan to?

Speaker 2: 4:13

why do people sometimes spend more money than they plan to? It's um, it's first. There's some sort of memory, right? My first question was every client or prospective client is what's your first money memory, right? So it's something deeply rooted when they were a child good or bad, right? Ultimately, um, that had occurred in. That's what sticks with them.

Speaker 2: 4:32

It also was a fundamental thing that we believe we are in control of our money, right, and it's not true. You're also not in control of your body, your health, etc. It wants to do, as opposed to you, understanding who you are, and that's what the root comes all the way back to is understanding who you are and having the correct mindset. And when we don't, we then feel good. When we buy things right, we feel good to look this way, we want to wear these shoes, we want that car, we want that food, whatever it is that makes us feel good for that short term, and it essentially becomes like an addiction, just like a drug, right Is we are filling in the gaps to make ourselves feel good, or numbed to really truly figuring out what's wrong with us or what's going on with us.

Speaker 1: 5:25

So what is your first relationship with money, your first memory of your relationship with money? Can you give us an example of that?

Speaker 2: 5:32

Yeah, I was about eight years old and again, backstory is my mom. Always accessories and gifts were the way of love, right? So I was eight years old, I think I mowed my first lawn or something, had some money, went to McDonald's to buy her an ice cream cone because, again, that's affection that we were shown when I was little. And on the way out, a buddy of mine scared me and I squeezed it and I broke it and it was the only money I had and I was giving something to my mom and from that point forward not only emotionally took me back, but I recognize that I no longer want to just give people something because it can get broken, they could get destroyed. I want to give them, you know me experiences, et cetera. Um, and I know where that's gone with me Um, I don't, you know, I spend money. I mean, when I was getting raised and coming out of college I was in debt a lot, but that didn't mean anything to me because the experience I was having with people met more than that ice cream cup.

Speaker 1: 6:30

Not it. Have you read a book, um story the five love languages. Have you heard of the book? I've heard of it. I have not read it. It's a great book, um, I think you should check it out. And, for the listeners, you should check it out, because what your mother was expressing was her love language.

Speaker 1: 6:44

And, um, that's one of the love language love. The other one is affection. There's five of them Time affection, gifts, acts of service. I forgot the fifth one, but that's rule is treat others the way you want to be treated right. The platinum rule is treat others the way they want to be treated right. So once you understand the way people express, the way they feel love, then you can express it to them in a way that makes sense. So I think what you was experiencing, what I'm hearing, is that your mom's primary love language that's what just came to my mind, I just wanted to share that with you is was gifts is gifts, that's her. That's probably who she is still today, right, that she's probably still. But she wants to show love to whoever she buys them something or gets them something.

Speaker 2: 7:46

Yeah, she, she passed in 2021, but yeah, that she she definitely was in, definitely was in that realm for sure.

Speaker 1: 7:54

Yeah, it's a great book. Check it out, brother. Okay, so let me ask you this question when you think of all of your wealthiest clients, I want you to think for a moment, your most wealthiest client, but then I want you to think of your poorest person. You've met, right, because I used to sell life insurance as well years ago, started my career selling life insurance as well. Years ago, started my career selling life insurance for a big insurance company, and you've probably sat across the table with all of them, right, it's a matter of time, right, you've sat across the table with all types.

Speaker 1: 8:27

When you think of the conversations that you're having with the, your poorest of the poor, right, where you walk into that house and they're just the poorest, they barely making it right, you've been there, probably early in your career, probably one of your first sales. I know that was one of my first sales, right? Or? I was excited as heck. It was a $20 a month policy, a $10 a month policy. I sold it and I was so excited as a 20 year old kid, so super duper excited. So, anyways, when you think of those two contrasts, right, I want you to tell me what is the biggest difference in mindset, because being poor is a state of mind, is not a physical condition. So I want you to give us contrast so that the listeners can identify where they are and what they can do to go from where they are to where they want to be. Let's give people some real strategies here.

Speaker 2: 9:16

Yeah, absolutely. Let's first define what wealth is, because when you said wealthy, in this context, you're talking about rich and having money.

Speaker 1: 9:25

I'm talking about financial, Because wealth can mean a lot of things Health wealth is a lot of things Not it can be. To me. It means family, love, relationships, connections. Money is at the top of the list. Money is very important to me. I like making money, so I received that in my world. That's important to me, but that's part of it.

Speaker 2: 9:44

Yeah, absolutely so. In this context, we're talking about rich and poor. The biggest difference that I have seen and that I have data on and I've researched a ton is the fact that rich people look at money as a tool. It's not their well-being, it's not who they are, they look at it as a tool and use that tool leveraged 10x right. And poor people look at money as a debt, as an anchor, as something that's pulling them down. There's a biggest, biggest difference there and it's simple. As poor people say and see debt, rich people see leverage. That is what I want everyone to understand. And debt, yes, debt is. You owe people money, but when you think about it as leverage, I am now leveraging the bank's money to make me more money or I'm leveraging humans, human capital, right, my staff to make me more money. Let's talk about that. Give us examples. Yeah, so say-.

Speaker 1: 10:49

Go with the poor first. Let's go with the poor. How do poor people look at that? What would you say? The anchor and that? Give us an example of what that give us, even if a story, if you have one of what it looks like, whatever it may be right, shoes, car, whatever.

Speaker 2: 11:03

When we look at that, we think about it as a debt. Oh, this is going to hurt me, right, it's going to take out of my bank account, it's going to cause me stress, but right now I feel good about it. Right? Think about when we purchase things, as I'm losing money. It's gone and it's going to weigh me down and now I have to work harder to replace that. And so when you flip that, specifically when you're talking about something that's going to make you more money, like a car we all have cars.

Speaker 2: 11:38

Let's talk about a car. Note when you're poor, I need that car it's going to be a debt. I'm always thinking about making that 200, 400, whatever dollar payment a month. On the upside, on the rich, they're saying that vehicle is going to allow me to go make money somewhere, do something with it, so my return value is going to be higher than that debt amount per month. So if I owe $400 a month, that car allows me to go to work, it allows me to go make my sales or whatever it is. It brings me an income of about $1,000. I make a $600.

Speaker 2: 12:13

Like, that's the way you have to think about when you make a purchase, specifically when it's on credit or on debt. What is that return going to bring me for that item, that asset or whatever? It is Right? Um, and that's how you have to think about when you purchase things is what is the return value going to be? And it doesn't always have to be a dollar. It can bring you joy. There is a return on joy when you purchase things or you're in life with experiences that none of us can put a dollar figure on, because joy is that one caveat variable that could exponentially grow your life in a way that no one can track.

Speaker 1: 12:51

Yeah, I love that. Let's talk about what it actually looks like. So, when you say it's a mindset, right. So I went years ago, many, many years ago. I was about 22 years old. I'll share the story with you. I went to, I used to sell well, I was selling life insurance. I made six figures when I was 24 for the very first time, 45 today, and very first time I made six figures, I was 24.

Speaker 1: 13:18

And there was this guy that was selling insurance and I'm going to share this with you and you're going to be like holy crap, that's a lot. Back in 2002, he was making 70,000 a month in commission selling life insurance. What do you sell consistently? 70k a month, bro, like a month. I was making 48 000 a year. Okay, this dude was making 70k a month.

Speaker 1: 13:38

So we went to this workshop. He was an agent of the month again and he the gm had him speaking right, and at that point I was tired. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, right, of being broke. I had that point. I had three kids and I had my fourth on the way and I went up to him and I said hey, harry, how are you doing this? We're selling life insurance for the same company in the same city in New York City at the time. And he said to me you really want to know. And I said, yes, please tell me. And he said go pick up this book. And 23 going on 24. That's how old I was, because I made 24. I made six figures at 24. My dream income at the time was six figures. You know, that's pretty hard to do in life insurance. I mean, you're selling life insurance and it's just the only product you're selling. I want to pick up the book and I learned.

Speaker 1: 14:32

And at that workshop there was another guest speaker and he said something. He said being poor is a state of mind, it's not a physical condition. It left such an imprint that to this day I still remember it. I remember those words. He said right, and I kept that as a mantra in my head. I was broke, poor, had nothing at the time, but I kept that as a mantra in my head being poor is a state of mind, not a physical condition. And I've been studying that for 25 years now 24 years Like how, what does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean? And you nailed it right.

Speaker 1: 15:01

Or people look at hey, I'm going to buy this asset. They don't even talk in terms of asset. I'm going to buy this thing and get the loan and they're just looking at the loan, not looking at the net cashflow. Okay, yeah, I'm leveraging the bank, I'm leveraging someone's going to. You know, this thing's going to produce for me and after I pay everything and everybody, I'm going to net this and I don't have to go to work, which is a different mindset, but anyways. So Harry tells me, go pick up this book. I pick up the book and within the next 12 months, I made $104,000. And it was those principles that you just shared. It's a mindset shift. It was just a mindset shift and a lot of things happen from there.

Speaker 1: 15:40

But, um, from your perspective, right in your experience, um, what impact does the way you grow up have to do on how we handle money, from your experience and what you've seen, when we talk about the psychology of money? Because it's a muscle man. It's a muscle man. It's a muscle right? It's who you're spending time with, it's who you're listening to and I was talking to.

Speaker 1: 16:07

I'm in a mastermind. I was talking to my guys this week in our weekly mastermind and my guys are talking about hey, there's another group of guys that we put our money together, we're going to lend money, we're going to lend that a point for real estate, and it's just a different conversation. And you know, when we're talking about, hey, we have $4 million or $5 million and we're going to lend that money and we're going to deploy that capital, dude, it's just the poor people can't relate to that and they can't fathom that. But when you're listening to those conversations and you're in those groups in those conversations, it really shifts the way you think and the way you see money. So I want to get from you your perspective on the psychology, on how, when you, when you grow up, what, what impact does it have? When you grow up, you know your psychology growing up, how, how it affects you.

Speaker 2: 16:54

Yeah, without learning and reading books and taking that step and immensely right it is. Whatever you learned or did not learn from your parents or from growing up. That is who you are, that's all you know. I like to relate things back to being an athlete, right, and obviously a former athlete, so that's what I like to do. When you're an infant and you don't know how to walk or run or do anything, you rely on your parents, right? Those that are exposed to throwing a ball, catching a ball, kicking a ball, et cetera, when they become older have a natural skill set that they don't have to learn over again, whereas some people, some athletes, come out of a family situation. They don't know how to do those things, so they have to learn it. They have to program their body in a way to learn it, but they will never have that natural born thing that came out of them because they were watching football, playing basketball, whatever, literally from out of the womb, right. It has everything to do with how you were raised in your culture. Now we fast forward to when you're an adult and you're on your own. All the playing field comes together. Even in that sports playing field comes together and it comes down to are you able to take that next step and learn from a book and understand those things?

Speaker 2: 18:17

But the root of all of this that can cause an issue is stubbornness and your lack of ability to understand that, just because your mom and dad taught you something, that something else can't be true or they can't build on it. So your stubbornness. Specifically, people who are poor have a greater stubbornness than the others. That don't because we're all open-minded, we think of ideas, we're creative. Right, you're a group of guys. We're like hey, this is a great idea, let's do this or do that. Because they're stubborn. And they're stubborn because they're in survival mode and they are scared of this unknown. They're scared of failing with whatever lack of resources that they may or may not have. And again back to you it's a mindset. It's not physical, it's a mindset.

Speaker 1: 19:09

It's a state of mind, not a physical condition. So if someone is out there listening, right, what advice would you say to someone that's listening to us right now, that's saying, yeah, that's all good, it's all great, but how do I improve my mindset? How do I get that muscle memory right in my body? How do I do that? Give me some strategy. What's the first thing you think I should do? What can I do? Where do I start to get my financial house in order?

Speaker 2: 19:39

I would say first going along, walk on a beach preferably, but at least go on a long walk on a beach preferably, but at least go on a long walk right and truly ask yourself do I know who I am and where I want to go and what my purpose is? If you can't answer that purpose question, you are not ready. You need to work on that. There's a book called Purpose Factor I forgot who wrote it because I'm terrible with names but go Google that one and buy that one. It'll help you define what your purpose is and it may change over time. But if you can't define that and know what your purpose is, then everything going forward will change and be a variable and you'll drop it like a bad habit.

Speaker 2: 20:17

Right, it just happens. If you know what your purpose is, then all those decisions next are a line. That's very easy to make decisions. It's very easy to say no to things when I know where my purpose is supposed to be going. So first step figure out your purpose and where you want to go and who you are, not what society tells you, not what your parents tell you, not what your siblings or any relationship tells you. Figure out who you are, find your purpose. The rest of the decisions are a little bit easier, but that's the first step you need to take.

Speaker 1: 20:49

How does one find their purpose? I love this conversation because I get it. I'm with you, man. That's your guiding compass, your purpose, right? Your purpose, your mission, your values, what you stand for, especially for young men, right? I'm always preaching that to young men, young guys. You know, you've got to know who you are. You've got to know where you're going. You've got to know what you want. It's easier life it's easier to navigate that way. It's easier to lead your home that way, it's easier to lead your kids that way, it's easier to lead yourself that way, because it's easier to say hey, that does not align with my values, that's just not where I'm going.

Speaker 1: 21:28

If you heard what I said when we started, we started talking about this.

Speaker 1: 21:31

I said you know what wealth means to me, that's what it means to me. And I said money is important to me and I don't give a crap who hears it and who says oh, I don't care what you think, I don't care what anyone else thinks, it's not about you, about me, what I stand for right, and what I want for my life and what I think is important for me in my life. So I'm with you, but it took me a lot of reading, it took me a lot of seminars, it took me a lot of bumps, it took me a lot to get to learn that right. And it's kind of being stubborn with who I am and what I stand for In that respect. I'm stubborn Like, hey, this is what I stand for, this is my values. I'm stubborn with that. How do you recommend and you suggest someone starts to? Where do they begin to get their purpose and values? How do they do that? What questions should they ask themselves in order to get that clarity in their life.

Speaker 2: 23:53

Yeah, let's start with. It's a journey. It's a life journey. This isn't something you can do over a weekend and all of a sudden life changes. Right, it is a journey. We're always working on it, you're working on it, I'm working on it, you're always working towards it.

Speaker 2: 24:04

But some questions you need to ask yourself. First is what brings me joy? A colleague of mine, larry Sprung, always is based on joy. His whole financial planning background is joy. So what brings you joy? Why would you ask yourself that? Because we're not asking what brings you happiness and what.

Speaker 2: 24:24

What is good for you on the outside? Joy is more on the inside right situations or experiences in life where you're just sitting there and everything kind of slows down and you just feel warm and you're happy like that. What brought you that something right? So if you can recognize what brings you joy, you can start to finagle and backtrack what that was and focus on what that purpose is. For me, it's literally seeing people happy and living their best life in their best form. However they want to right. And in order for me to do that, my skill set is in the financials and a little more on the financial side, so I know how my route is to get people to reach that.

Speaker 2: 25:13

If you are someone who, let's say, for example, I don't know, I don't know where this came from, but you love the hell out of some dolphins, right, that brings you joy to see them happy, guess where your path should lie. Right, you should probably move to the coast. You should probably do some studying in those groups. You should probably go work for a coastal place. There's things that align with who you are and bring you joy that have nothing to do with the relationships around you, have nothing to do with how you were taught. When you were younger, you kind of got to get rid of that and focus on what is me, and I love how you reverted back to the stubbornness that we had talked about. Absolutely, be stubborn in your values and your purpose. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Do that. Stubbornness in other places probably not so good, but stubbornness to who you are I stand for non-negotiable, bro, non-negotiable.

Speaker 1: 26:06

My integrity is not negotiable, yep.

Speaker 2: 26:09

You do that, your path forward is pretty clear. It might adapt and change, but that stubbornness that you have, you're going to be successful, no matter what.

Speaker 1: 26:19

Yeah, and so looking for that question, so go for a long walk, right, find that question. I want to pivot into money and in schools, right, you know, maybe there I actually want to go back a little bit to raising kids. Right, we learn about money in our house. So let's say we have millennials, we have a lot of millennials that listen to our show and we have some gen z's that we have every, everyone but those that have young children in their home. Those grandparents are maybe listening to this podcast and have grandbabies. They're raising, right, I'm waiting for grandchildren now. My youngest is 21, right? So my wife and I are young. We're young parents. We started very young, but at this point it's like, hey, man, I admit a lot of things I didn't do right, but now I'm a little bit wiser and I'm going to now do it with my grandkids, going to now deploy some values and some things with my grandkids a little different. We did well, we did well. We have great kids.

Speaker 1: 27:29

However, what advice are you giving to those that have small children at home as to how they can start teaching their children those children, right, because we create our values and who we are between the ages of zero to five. What can those people do as it pertains to money? To teach those kids about assets and liabilities and cash flow, and teach them about money, which I know I didn't have at home. I just hustled right, I just went delivering groceries and I was just a worker selling my own toys to other kids at nine. That's what I learned about money, just the hustle, the client work. So what, what? What advice are you giving to those that have smaller children and how they can instill some values that go on for life?

Speaker 2: 28:16

And we did it with, with our children and our boys, who are now going to be 10 and seven. Uh, parents, you're the bank anyway, so start acting like a bank, but with that meaning, teach them the lessons, right. So for us, what we would do is we had a chore list, but we had a job list. I think those are two distinctively different things. Right, chore is making your bed. A job is taking out the trash, mowing the lawn type of thing. Bed A job is taking out the trash, mowing the lawn type of thing. Within that we would pay them. Right, we'll say 10 bucks, 10 bucks for that job, pay you 10 bucks. I'm immediately taking half of that and putting it into an investment that you can't touch until you're 18 or 21. Another about 10%, 20% of that we're putting into taxes. Right, I mean, it's just a savings account, not really actually taxing them. And then the rest they can do what they want with it, and so when we go to the store or whatever they want to buy, then they recognize that they can see their account. They can understand I need to either work more or I do not need to work more because I have the money sitting there, and then every month we sit down and we go through our investments. We teach them that. So that's them on the personal side, but then we involve them with everything that we do from our own wealth, right. So obviously they're in my business, understanding, trying to. They're never going to understand the details of it, but I'm talking to them about it, how I help people, why I talk to people, why I have these meetings, why I do podcasts, right. And then on top of that, we tell them what we invest in, right, we do a lot of real estate, a lot of commercial properties, and so when we drive around, we part own that. Why, why, dad, why do you do that? And it's to build wealth. This is how it works. If I buy this, people are going to go run their business out of it. They pay us, you know, rent if you will, and from there we make money off of it, right. And so they start to recognize those things. And to this day, my children always put on um, they have a garden out here and what they do is they sell vegetables and that's their biggest business of the year.

Speaker 2: 30:20

And I think it's vitally important that kids have that creativity, understanding of money, because they all want to. They all want to make money and it's a natural behavior and so that's how we deal with it and that's what I teach um, you know our younger clients with young kids is you have to get them involved with your situation, good or bad. I had a patient with a partner. Business partner had to buy him out, took on about 90,000 of debt. I told my kids that right, I explained to them the situation so they understood what was happening and then I'm hopeful, in later in life, when that situation comes up or something happens, they have something to go back to say hey, this is how dad got through it.

Speaker 1: 30:59

Or I should go talk to dad because this is occurring to me personally did you share your lessons with them about the experiments? So that's that's it. That's where the gold is right. We got better by um, learning from our mistakes and then getting our lessons. That's the gold man. There's no such thing as failures, only lessons. And we get better with every. Every experience makes us better. That's how I look at. I was just coaching one of my students this morning and I said to her would you learn? So there's a story. I shared this story. I'll share it with you.

Speaker 1: 31:27

There's a story of this old wise farmer and the old wise farmer has if this year, if he doesn't make it, he loses everything. Right, if everything doesn't go perfect the rain, everything, and he and he has a young son. He can't work, so his son's out there in the field. Day one son comes out. He's working. A wild horse comes by. He jumps on the horse, he tames the horse, he does part of the field. The neighbors go to the farmer's house and they say you're so lucky, you're going to make it this year, right? Farmer looks at him and says neighbors. And he says say you're not going to make it this year, you lost the horse. Wise farmer looks at them, says maybe possibly the next day. Young guy's out there, horse comes back with four horses. He tames all four horses and he does the whole entire land. Neighbors come that night and they're like oh, oh, my gosh, you're going to make it for sure, 100%. He goes, maybe possibly Next day. Kids out there working on the land, all four horses throw him off the horse, they trample him, break both his arms, both his legs, and the neighbors come to his house and they say you're done. Now you're really done. And the wise old man looks at him and he says maybe, possibly.

Speaker 1: 32:47

Two weeks later the biggest war that ever existed happened in this country and they drafted all of the men and all of the young men in this village. They had to go to this war, the bloodliest war you can think. Guess whose son they didn't take, the old wise man. So everyone goes to all the neighbors go to his house and they go you're so lucky, your son is not going to die in this war. All of our sons are going to die. And he looked at them and he said maybe, possibly.

Speaker 1: 33:17

And the point of the story is that life has lessons in every step of the way. Life is happening for us. If you just take every step and you look at what the possibilities are and how much better you can get from that, and you will. It's just stacking up. Wisdom, I believe, is a stack of lessons. That's what wisdom is. It's a stack of lessons from your experience and other people's experience and the people you surround yourself with and you paying attention to. Like, hey, this looks a lot like that If I was to tell my kids, hey, I had this deal with this business partner, this is what happened and, more importantly, this was my lesson and this is what I should have done differently. Now I'm imparting wisdom into them, right? So I want to talk about that with you.

Speaker 1: 34:05

I want to talk about how should everyone learn about money? How should people learn about money? Should people learn about money in schools? Should people learn about money at home? Money is a sensitive issue. Stoy Money is a very sensitive issue. You know just this conversation we're having about money. People are probably listening to us right now and getting that emotion, that negative emotion, right, just because they know their shit is fucked up Excuse my language right? Just because they know it's like man, I'm dropping it here. But the thing is, guys, you got to just face it and then you got to just start walking right. Journey of a thousand miles starts one step. Where and how should we be learning about money, brother?

Speaker 2: 34:53

Honestly, everywhere. There's nuggets everywhere at today's day and age, and I think that's one of the best things that I say this a lot is. I love the pandemic for one thing for our industry and the fact that is it. It took us more global and more virtual than it ever has before. See, lighten some rules, like it really did a lot. So, yes, it should be learned in schools. It should be taught by your parents. You should be learning about it from regulated social media presence Right, you should be learning it from podcast and then, ultimately, you need to hire somebody coach, preferably a CFP, right, like you need to have someone in your court to help guide you through your wealth journey in life so literally everywhere. Now, caveat to that is don't go chasing everything you learn. Now, caveat to that is don't go chasing everything you learn. Take it under your situation, tie it to your purpose and then move forward.

Speaker 2: 35:49

But if you start going off of every little thing you see on TikTok I love that man, right, if you're going to follow the GameStops and jump in and YOLO it, you're going to be a bag at the end of the day, like they've already done before, and they're going to do it again, right, because you don't know that game. Know your game, your lane, honestly and then go from there. So that's how I would say it is learn everywhere.

Speaker 1: 36:16

That is such a great freaking point you bring you know my last. So I have a group of students I mentor and my last mastermind with all of them, so I do one-on-ones with them and then I bring them all in the classroom and in a classroom setting and, um, and I do a lot of. You know, we hold the mastermind. And the one thing and I don't know if you've read the book the one thing, but the one thing I told them about is the biggest lie you've been told about rich people and I know a lot of them in the circles Today I'm one of them Biggest lie you've been told about rich people is that well, the biggest incomplete truth let me rephrase that incomplete truth you've been told is that you, as a middle-class person or a poor person, need to have multiple streams of income and that rich people have multiple streams of income and that rich people have multiple streams of income.

Speaker 1: 37:02

I said that is the biggest incomplete truth you hear online. Rich people focus on one self-made I'm going to talk about self-made wealthy people they focus on one thing and they become really good at that one thing and all their attention and focus goes to that one thing they make a lot of money on that one thing and then only after they have extra money and they become financially free, then they start investing on other things that create passive streams of income for them. That's the lie. You've been told that you think that you should be investing in five, six, seven, eight, 10 different things and be having five, six, seven, eight different businesses. And I do whatever Amazon thing and I do this and I also do that and you can't where your focus goes, energy flows and results show. That's the biggest lie, you've been told.

Speaker 1: 37:48

Rich people, self-made people, they learn one thing, they get really, really good at one thing. They make their money and then, after they made their money, they start investing in other things with other operators that are proficient at what they do and give them a higher return, right, so, um, how does one stay away from cause? That's a big problem, and today there's too much information. Too much information is what I told one of my students. She was like hey, I want to go and so I teach real estate. I'm a real estate guy and I want to talk to you about you and real estate. How do you know what my answer was to her? I got this deal and I got this other deal and I'm looking at this deal and I said to her okay, what's your purpose? We worked on this. What's your purpose? I made it repeated. I said what's your goals? Does this or this align with that thing? No, I said what's your goals, does this or this align with that thing? No, I said so. There's your answer.

Speaker 1: 38:50

You got to stay true to your purpose, your goals, not all these shiny object syndrome things. They're not going to get you there. It's the one thing. What's the one thing? How do you mention that you were teaching your kids about you know, when you're driving around? No-transcript. So to me, it's the best thing since sliced bread. Right, I've made my money in real estate. It will continue and I will always be a real estate guy. 90% of self-made millionaires around the world have come that through real estate. So that's my game. Tell us how the average person that's listening to us can invest in real estate. How do you do it? How does that work? Tell us, please educate us. How does that work? You talk about leverage and money and cash flow. Tell us about that story.

Speaker 2: 39:51

Yeah, let's start. You're right Real estate is one of the best investments and has been around for eons, right, and so let's deal with that.

Speaker 2: 40:05

There's a plethora of ways to get into to real estate, right? You talked about in syndication for those listening, obviously you've heard him before but literally just getting a group of people together, pulling their money and going to buy and leveraging and to buy a property. What type of property could be a rental, could be commercial, could be multifamily, could single family. There's all of those accessory things out there, but it really comes down to what and what you want to deal with. I like the commercial side of things mainly because it's as simple as that, right, as simple as having a pool of money, whether it's yourselves or not, going to a bank or finding a property, saying, hey, this property needs this, this is how we can deal with this, this is the profitability on this property, right, building out that, assessing that situation, going to the bank and saying, hey, we need a leverage to buy this, you buy it and then the cash flow comes from your tenants or just your tenants in general comes from that. The two flip sides to that is, not only is the tenants bringing you money, but also it's going to be appreciated.

Speaker 2: 41:18

Real estate is something that a lot of people get caught up on when you get away from single family homes is the property value is not derived from the actual property itself. It's your tenant pool and the amount of leases they have and how long they are, how great their background is. That is where you come into your value and that's what's really cool about real estate is you're just always growing that way and you could have a property that may be worth two hundred thousand dollars, but it's producing a million dollars a year because of your tenants, because of the tenant pool, and it's something that will never go away. I don't care what people say. I know that the office building space right now is not doing great because we're trying to, as a society, figure out how we're doing this hybrid not hybrid thing, uh, but ultimately, businesses are never going away, right? Never not going to live somewhere. So real estate's here to stay. It's just a matter of where you want to park yourself.

Speaker 1: 42:11

Yeah, I love that. I love that you said that. So how did you right? Coming from not much means growing up, because I know I had my own limiting beliefs when going into real estate. It was hard for me. Like you said, that, stubbornness. You're probably better off spending $15,000, $20,000 in a coaching program with someone that is wealthy to teach you about money and you learn more about money than you will in a four-year and I stand by that part because I've done it. I've invested hundreds of thousands of dollars in myself. How do we? Where I was going with this is how do we? Where do people, where can people, go to learn about money? How did you overcome that feeling right when I was going stubbornness.

Speaker 1: 43:09

When I was buying my first piece of property it was in 2007, my first duplex I remember feeling scared man. I remember feeling that fear. I remember it was 2007,. Bought it for $275,000. Two years later I was $100,000 underwater and I remember feeling that fear. I remember still my money IQ being low, my money IQ. I still need to grow my money IQ. I still have many other levels to get to, but being very, very low.

Speaker 1: 43:39

Right, being in debt and I was looking at it as debt. I was looking at it like, holy shit, I'm going to go another $275,000 in debt and not focusing on, hey, I'm getting. I leveraged the whole thing because I was a mortgage broker. I got $275,000 on loan. I got $15,000 back. I used, I went to the table, I bought an asset and I made 15 grand. I did not. I was that creative, but I had very low money IQ, so I didn't. I was very creative in making deals, with work, but I didn't understand how to keep growing. And it wasn't until I got a coach or mentor that taught me like, hey, this is how you run money, this is how money works and this is how you, this is how you grow it.

Speaker 1: 44:17

And um, but I was scared. All right, I was afraid. I was had that mindset of like, holy crap, this is debt and I have my mortgage at home and I have now this and I have these four kids and I have this wife and I have this family and all this responsibility. And I looked at it as a burden Instead of a relief. And what it was was actually a relief of me not having to go and make an extra thousand dollars that was coming in every month and I didn't have to go work for that or sell insurance or sell a mortgage for that.

Speaker 1: 44:48

How does one overcome that? Because I remember that feeling. I remember that feeling like, like I said now today I bought three houses. Last week I bought three houses and it's like, man, this is normal, this is the norm. Now. I bought three houses. I'm going to be fixing them, I'm going to be selling them. I got a 12 unit apartment building. We're putting $600,000 into that building. We're going to refinance it in a few months. We're almost at the end of it, but this is normal. Now. It's that muscle I build. But how do you recommend for someone to get out of that? You know, overcome that and build that muscle.

Speaker 2: 45:25

Yeah, it's a difficult one. I don't have that as much as that experience. I've always I the way I was raised and grinding and figuring out. I always figured I'd figure it out Right Ultimately. So I don't have as much of that feeling I never have. And then going to school and learning about money like my whole life's just been learning about money. So it's a a different perspective. But when people want to come out of where they're at again, besides hitting the dead horse that we've talked about, with purpose, right and understanding that is, ultimately you have to take on a risk that you have never done before in somebody right. So I got into the real estate game because of that partner.

Speaker 2: 46:02

Same partner right is who got me into the real estate game because of that partner Same partner Right Is who got me into the real estate game, and then I just took off and learned from there and kind of made it the norm, as you talked about. And so that's where you've got to start. Is you just have to start with trusting in somebody Right, regardless if it's a coach, if it's following on a podcast, whatever it is. Is you have to have that person in your court to help you in that first step and ultimately you just have to take the step. I don't have any simple tricks. I don't have flip of a switch. Is if you're thinking about it, you want to do it, do it. You just thought it.

Speaker 1: 46:41

That's it. Just do it. Just make sure it's calculated, make sure you have the right person on your team, make sure you understand, make sure that you have an understanding of what you're doing. And, just for the record, okay, I want to make sure that I'm transparent to my listeners. It's for the record, guys To this day, when I buy a property, there is that always that little feeling of is this a good move?

Speaker 1: 47:05

Right, because I've been through multiple market cycles. Right Now, I've been through the great recession and it was. I was a broker Boom, we crashed, we burned. Right, I had a mortgage company crash, burn, 100,000 underwater. My first investment Went through the boom of 2020, 2021, made a killing then, and now we're going through an adjustment period, right, with interest rates and things like that.

Speaker 1: 47:31

So, in every cycle I've been in and played in, there's always something lurking around the corner that it's like, okay, could 2008 happen again? Every deal, guys, every single deal, once you experience that trauma, then that's actually a good experience, believe it or not. That's a healthy dose of fear, because what it does for me, it allows me to underwrite and create multiple exits, because I remember how that was. And if this happens, then I'm doing this. If this happens, I'm doing this. The market goes here. This is worst case scenario. Boom, it's actually that's how I took the lesson to make me better. But I will tell you I would be lying to you if I didn't tell you that. And when I buy every property I still buy there's still that little voice and that little bit of like it's just a good deal and the numbers could pencil out. When you look at it and you're like, okay, I want to just make sure I'm going to make money. And the way I manage that is by knowing the numbers right. And if you're looking to get started in real estate is you need to have someone in your corner that knows the numbers and understands the deep understanding of the numbers and can help you with different exit strategies. That's what a good coach and a good mentor would do.

Speaker 1: 48:39

Like, listen, no, this is not a good deal. I was underwriting a deal yesterday story with one of my students and, um, right off the top, I was out for I was out for a bike ride actually and she's blowing me up. She's, she's, she's excited, she's got a wonderful deal. She's like this pencils. I'm looking at, I'm like dude, slow down, slow down, slow down and um, and she's telling me the deal and I, within 10 minutes, I'm like, yeah, sounds like a good deal. I don't even have to do the math. I could tell you that right now. If, if, what you're telling me is correct, this is a good deal. And yeah, you got multiple strategies to get out of it, no matter what happens in the market, right?

Speaker 2: 49:21

So it's just making sure you have that person in your corner. I want to jump down real quick on. What you said is that that fear of that unknown is always there. It is, it's healthy, it's a health. And if you go into something with zero fear, that's where the issue is. Something happened there.

Speaker 2: 49:37

By having that fear and that unknown, it allows you to we call it vetting, underwriting, same thing understand everything of it and learn it out. And that does not just mean real estate. That means all the businesses, that means your life, that means your health choices, your next move, everything should be vetted out to a degree at which you have that skillset. Then you have a coach or a mentor or consultant, whatever it is, to help back that up. The thing is we've seen so much and we've dealt with so many people that, yes, you can sit there for five, 10 minutes and we can give you an answer. Right, we can say no deal, deal, or maybe you should look at that one a little differently, or maybe two or three years, right, because we have that. So I just wanted to double down on what you said. There it was.

Speaker 1: 50:20

It was really good, yeah, no, brother, thank you, man. Thank you for that. Um couple last questions here. Um what's the one elite strategy people can do to improve their financial position in 2024, moving forward?

Speaker 2: 50:37

everyone needs to start with. It's simple where your money's coming from and where it's going. You're not understand what's coming in and what's coming out. Everything we talk about from a strategy standpoint is mute, because you don't have a grasp of organization of what's coming in and what's going out. And I don't necessarily always mean like lower your expenses to nothing and live very simple. No, just have an understanding, because that understanding then allows you to move forward. If you don't and you're unorganized, you're always going to be stuck in the mud because you don't know where anything is or what it is. So that's what most people, when we start off with, is just getting organized. So if you don't know where your money is coming from and how much it is and how much is going out, you're going to be stuck. It's tough to go forward with where you're at and lastly, what is your definition of being truly wealthy AF.

Speaker 2: 51:35

Yes, being true wealthy AF is pretty simple. It's living a joyous, happiness life, giving back to others right, and then, third, living life on your own terms. All of that takes one tool to help you with that, and that tool is money. Okay, so all of those things happen in lines and I always go back to my story. When I went to Tanzania, I've seen very wealthy people uh, women sweep mud floors. They don't have any money, but they were wealthy because they were joyful, they were happiness, and then they were using some of their tools to at least live the way they want to.

Speaker 1: 52:14

So that's my definition. That is amazing. That is amazing. That definition is a really good definition. I believe that only poor people say that money doesn't matter, Only only. Let me. Let me rephrase that, and I'm going to, I'm going to this is me shooting it.

Speaker 1: 52:32

As I see it, guys, you guys know I'm very straightforward Only lazy people that don't want to go and work and I, when I say work, I don't mean work like physically go work, I mean physically go work on themselves and improve their money IQ. Otherwise, I say money is not important, You're greedy or this or that. No, money is important, Money is very important. Money is very important. You can't really live freely if you don't have some source or resources and some form of money, If you don't have some source or resources and some form of money. And um, but and I love your, I love also something you said earlier which really stuck out to me.

Speaker 1: 53:08

Story is when you said experiences. You know, my wife just turned 46, excuse me this week, and we went to dinner and, um, you know, I got a $670 bill and I can only do that if I have and I paid the bill and you know, I took the whole family, our family and my family and our kids, and, and I paid that bill, no problem. It's interesting because, um, I had a flash for a moment that day when we went out to dinner. Like man, 15 years ago, this would have hurt. I would have been really stressing about this bill right now, you know, because I know what it's like to have nothing. And I paid that bill and I came home and I was like babe, you know, she was like how much should we spend? And I told her six, nine, whatever it home. And I was like babe, you know, she was like how much should we spend? And I told her 690, whatever it was. And I was like man, pay it.

Speaker 1: 54:08

Like you know, just think about it, when we were living in that one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, Queens, and we couldn't pay that $475 a month in rent, Could we even think about doing something like this? So I believe it's every man's responsibility and a woman's responsibility to figure out the money thing and the reason. It wasn't. Not that it doesn't matter. It was a great experience, it was a great moment, it was a great memory celebrating my wife's 46th birthday with her mom and our kids and a few of our kids not all of them were here a few of our kids and her brother and just the people we care about and she was happy and we can do that, and it was the tool that allowed us to create that memory.

Speaker 1: 54:52

We stood at that restaurant for like three hours and we just talked and we laughed and we ate and we hung out, and we just hung out. It was a good time and there was no sense of guilt about spending the money, because we have assets. We have assets that produce the money that can pay for that. So, um, this podcast is about empowering people and helping people and making people better, and I hope that we did that story. Thank you so much for coming on, brother. It was my pleasure, it was my honor to have you here today, man. It was a great, great time. If people wanted to connect with you, if they wanted to talk to you about you managing their money you're a certified financial planner checking out your podcast how do people find you? Where do they connect? How do they connect with you? Where are you on IG and so on and so forth, my friend.

Speaker 2: 55:44

Yeah, go ahead and find us at blackmammothcom, nobswealthpodcastcom, all the socials. I'm there, except for Reddit because they kick me off. So, instagram, you can go at Stoy Hall, you can go at Black Mammoth and you can go at no BS Wealth, twitter, facebook, linkedin, you just name it. The only ask I ever have when I'm doing podcasts is do reach out, do engage, do comment, and I'm not saying that from an algorithm perspective, although that does help us, it's. I want to help and I know you have questions and I know that you want to. You have a fear of asking a question because you don't want to sound dumb where you think you're too poor, you're not, you're not. We want to have those conversations, so don't don't worry about that. And if you need a DM and do it privately, I'm here for it too, but about that. And if you need a DM and do it privately, I'm here for it too. But I'm here to have conversations and to help guide you one way or another where you're at in your wealth journey, but also your life journey.

Speaker 1: 56:28

So, man, thank you so much. It's been a pleasure and honor to have this great conversation with you. Keep on helping people, man. Keep on empowering people. We need to have more and more and more of these conversations. People need to be able to listen in onto these conversations. Rome wasn't built in a day. Guys. Remember that, that the journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. So start today and listen to what Stoy told you Starts with the budget. Figure out what's coming in and what's going out. It starts with one thing, guys. Reach out to him. Thank you, guys, for listening. It's my honor. If you liked and enjoyed this episode, please like and share it with someone that needs to hear it. There's millions of people out there that need to hear this episode. It would really help us out. We're grateful for you guys being here and reach out to the story. Thank you, brother, thank you.