Parenting With Intention for Successful and Healthy Relationships with Julianne Bosch

Visiting with me today is Julianne Bosch, expat, author, and life strategist. In this episode, we'll visit about how Julianne's life travelling with her family has helped her to find a lot of wisdom which she has shared in her book.

How A Mother Took Her First Step On The Moon - A Mother’s Keepsake Journal of Advice to My Children began as a 50th birthday quest. Mothers leave a mark. So I chose to give a gift to my children instead of receiving gifts by writing a collection of uplifting true stories and an empowering workbook for parents.  I hope you will take the time to write your intentions for parenting.  It is a powerful tool and my book was written to guide other mothers with their own journey.  When chaos hits in a household having a solid foundation of basics makes the storm manageable.

My name is Julianne Bosch, I am a mother to three children. I was an expat wife and I am starting to forget to count the “where’s” but my closets are organized and the life lessons abroad have been learned and cherished.  I became a Professional Career & Life Coach, I call a Life Strategist practicing with clients virtually via zoom. Where my husband goes–I go. So I get the best of both worlds: I have a job that is extremely fulfilling helping others and I get to travel with my partner of 27+ years.

Connect with Julianne on her website:
https://www.juliannebosch.com/

Transcript

Magic Barclay: 0:59

Welcome back to a magical life. I'm your host, Magic Barclay. Today, Julianne Bosch, author, coach, expat and CEO mum is joining us. Julianne is a mother to three children. She is the CEO to mums as a life and career coach. she is the author of how a mother took her first step. On the moon, a mother's keepsake journal of advice to my children as an ex pat wife of a busy executive, she made sure her family life was consistent, no matter what continent her family was living on back in the United States with an empty nest, Julianne decided to embark on a career and became a professional career and life coach. Julianne developed this keepsake journal to draw on her own experience to help her clients. New and Current Mothers to document their own powerful advice. It is also her gift to her three adult children in honor of her 50th birthday. Whether readers are looking for a way to explain the birds and the bees, or to enforce a consequence, she intended to offer her own successful mum moments that are perfect stories about the imperfection of motherhood. Living abroad, I would meet people with new careers and lifestyles that were different from my own. I'm a naturally curious person, and that is what I appreciated about moving around the globe, being exposed to a diverse map of the makeup of this world. Each human can teach you something or allow a lens to view a new perspective. We all have one wild and precious life, says Julianne. Welcome!

Julianne Bosch: 2:51

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Magic Barclay: 2:54

Pleasure. Now, this is a very interesting tangent for this podcast because, you know, we've spoken to career mums, stay at home mums, like all sorts of mums on the podcast, but no one's actually journalized. Those really learning aha moments. So that's really something

Julianne Bosch: 3:14

new. Yeah. got to kind of that milestone and I said, how do I give back? How do I add value of what I've learned? Because as. I mentioned there are a lot of imperfections, a lot of uh ohs, and I'm not telling you what to do in this book of my advice, I'm giving you suggestions, and take it, craft it, lens it to your own, and put it down on paper, because like, journaling is such a powerful thing that, nobody taught me when I was a young parent, so I, I wanted to kind of help and enforce it. That for parents to have guide book or a framework to work from when they're doing this job that is so important right now. And it is a

Magic Barclay: 3:58

job, isn't it? It is. Well, I'm going to get more into what the book's about and some... You know, mum hacks, I guess, later on in the episode, but I really want to ask my standard three questions because I'm amazed at the different answers I get. And I'm pretty sure you're going to give me some out of left field answers here.

Julianne Bosch: 4:27

I'm ready.

Magic Barclay: 4:28

All right. Here's your first one. What can your expertise do to accelerate health, be it physical, emotional, or spiritual?

Julianne Bosch: 4:37

Well, for me, I feel like as a mom, we do everything for everyone else. And so documenting your game plan when chaos happens gives a mom a secret weapon. So I think it, it works with your mind, your body, and your spirit in that you can handle what is happening in your life. And that is my biggest gift back is journaling is a way of putting things on paper for the what ifs.

Magic Barclay: 5:04

And there's a lot of what if moments as a parent.

Julianne Bosch: 5:08

Yeah, very, very much so. And I think those what ifs, make us more of a fear factor. So when you can kind of erase the cobwebs a little bit and allow for a path of, if this, then that, instead, it makes you. much more comfortable as a parent saying, okay, I, I've never experienced this before, but I've thought about, for example, what is integrity to you? If, if that is spiritually something that guides you as a parent, uh, how, you know, you want your kids. To have more integrity, then you're able to kind of implement that plan a little bit easier when your integrity is shifted or it's not put into place the way you believe it should be. And I think, um, I didn't learn that with, uh, with wisdom comes reflection from what I did in my past. And, uh. I just hope that young parents can read the book and allow them, a little compassion with that.

Magic Barclay: 6:08

Great. Now look, my next question is about wealth and As moms, certainly when our kids are small, we're often out of the workforce for a while, even these days. And so our financial wealth can take a dip, but so can our emotional and personal wealth. We kind of lose who we are. We just become. You know, little Johnny's mom, rather than who we are. So what are your top three tips to creating wealth?

Julianne Bosch: 6:37

well, I, I approached this wealth as kind of your own personal wealth, your value. And so I, I gave you three little, nuggets that I stood firm with. One is that I wanted to follow the wealthy plan of setting up the three E's for my kids, which is helping them become educated. Helping them become, employed and then eventually elsewhere. So, even when my children were young, I was talking to them about, what do you want to be when you grow up? And that leads to kind of my second, wealth factor is, kids these days, right now, are needing to think outside the box. We've never had pandemic. We've never had war. So, giving your child the wealth of. thinking outside of the box. How can we make this fun? How can we change it up so that it's not controlled by others? So mental, mental wealth, I think, to pivot when needed. And then, to be curious about life is my third piece of advice for wealth because, I now at my fifties, my Children are teaching me things and it made me reflect on there's a wealth in re learning and learning again and kind of expanding your brain more. and all of these things kind of set a mother up for, their own personal growth. Two feet on the ground to cement themselves in who they are and saying, I'm not necessarily getting a paycheck or the bonus or the pat on the back like an employer may do. But you are contributing to possibly the next thinkers and learners and possibly Nobel prize winners out in the world next. And if you put good humans into the world, that karma is going to keep coming back at you because they will impress you every single time. And mine keep doing that in their twenties now. And I'm just in awe of what they've made from kind of nothing, but yet giving them those parameters and those bases.

Magic Barclay: 8:38

Great. And our final standard question is about weight loss and, you know, many moms, we kind of either do the secret eating in the cupboard or the late night eating or the picking off people's plates and, you know, even as they get older, it's kind of. Like we eat around our kids schedules, so weight can become a big issue. Have you ever battled your weight? If so, how did you beat the battle? And what can you offer mums of, you know, all stages of the cycle to really focus on their own weight and health?

Julianne Bosch: 9:16

Yeah, I, I think I've experienced both sides of it. It's been an ebb and flow of, my own personal struggle of, are the pants too tight or is, am I, eating foods the best for me? Am I not feeding my Children the best way that I could possibly had? So I think as a mother, knowing that that ebb and flow is a natural part of the job. and I think the battle so much is getting in our own heads and, pushing at ourselves and saying we've, we've failed. And, something as a mom that I, in relation to food is that I, I started day with, what are the good things? That I want to happen, what are the bad things that possibly happened yesterday and how am I going to make it better today. And, I offer that is apparent in relation to food is kind of just, weighing incremental change because I do think small changes. as a parent will help the weight battle. is it, you know, five minutes with the child in the stroller that you walked around the block instead of, heading to the refrigerator when you had that trigger? So those are all personal things that my, I myself, Kind of said, Okay, I need to get up off the couch and take my child to go and see the sunset or, enjoy a little bit more of what is out there in the world and not necessarily get fixated on the number. and I will say the opposite side of it. I've been experiencing, eating distorters on the other end of, influences of Children that, have been in my community and having compassion for you are never in another woman's shoes and what she is going through. And so whether it is. Eating too much or eating too little. I think we all have to kind of stop the judgment a little and just say, what are the incremental things that we can do better tomorrow? Maybe if we're not feeling so positive at this moment today,

Magic Barclay: 11:18

now let's get into your book Thank you. And what you can do for mums. So for me, you know, my kids are now grown men living in my own home and, Probably never leaving the nest because of circumstances, but certainly along the way, I felt like, you know, I'm sure we all say this. Why isn't there a manual? Like, why isn't there some great advice? And so many mums and dads, we're not leaving the guys out, but. You know, so many parents are now isolated. There's not that tribe. There's not that community, not that village raising the children. So how can your book kind of help create that support, that backbone of advice that we're often lacking and tell us all about it. Well,

Julianne Bosch: 12:08

I will, I will say to you that something sparked this book to be written is, um, I was faced with my own cousin, diagnosed with anaplastic thyroid cancer and it made me realize that a little bit what you're saying here is because of isolation and, you know, we've haven't, Taking care of the health in certain ways. It made me ponder if I was no longer here, what, what would I want? And something that we haven't continued is the storytelling aspect. I think, you remember these stories of your great grandmother telling your grandmother telling your mother and now your mother telling you and, It forced me to just go back to the basics. Gosh, I hope my, my adult children know all of the things that I wrote in that book. But one is forcing, kind of the discussion around the basics and telling a story about a mother's experience with something. And for example, I will say, um, one of the stories I wrote about was don't always assume, you know, all the facts. And I tell a silly story about how my daughter, and I had a little miscommunication. communication. I signed up for too much as a mother and, was late to an appointment to the OBGYN. And I rushed up into her bathroom, grabbed a washcloth, cleaned up and rushed to the, to the gynecologist. I arrived and the gynecologist said, wow, there's a party. There's a fiesta going on down here. And I'm thinking in my mind. Wow. New doctor in a new country. And he's creeping me out. And I said, who recommended this person to me, this doctor. And I'm thinking one thing, the doctor's thinking another thing. And I walk away. And later that evening, my daughter comes running into the kitchen and she's bawling and saying this special glitter. That I have been saving to use for after school. I put in my special washcloth in my bathroom on the counter and it's missing. And it made me ponder, um, the perspective that a doctor is coming at me with one thought process, like, Oh my goodness, this lady has glitter rainbow glitter everywhere. And my perspective of, um, He's not being professional yet. He's professional. And so I write that piece of advice as I do some of the other basics. We know this. It's not something new, but it's a story to tell you that I made a mistake. And then I tell you that advice. And then I ask you a powerful question to journal. If you were to experience something like that, what would you do? And what I found with my current clients right now is when given powerful questions to journal and think about, and now in this case, as a parent, this book gives you a framework to kind of write down your game plan. And nine times out of 10, when we know the basics, we write down our game plan. When things happen, it's like, Oh yeah, I've thought about this. Boom. This is what I do. And I move forward. So when in isolation, when it's coming over zoom and it's coming over tech and media and. And areas that we can't control, we aren't thinking about our history, and I think history is something that we need to kind of lean back into a little bit more and listen to that story of what our grandmothers did, and not so much do it because life has changed. How we're raising our kids today has changed, and as they grow into adults, they're facing new things that we did not experience, for example, the war in Ukraine or pandemic. However, it is something of the basics that we can craft and mold and we can use these things going forward to say, this is what I know, add to it, mold it, shape it to be your own, and go forth knowing that you've got people that have your back on that. And, and I hope, the book spurs you to write down your memories and create that time capsule for your family.

Magic Barclay: 16:12

Couldn't stop giggling when you were talking about the Glitter.

Julianne Bosch: 16:17

Well, I did want to expose to you that there were many moments like that of just some silly things that happened as a parent. So it was, it was funny later when I was writing it, but at the time I was mortified.

Magic Barclay: 16:32

Mine probably wasn't as pretty as glitter, but I remember taking my second son, um, out to lunch. Actually, both of them were with me, but the second one was a projectile vomiter. And you know, it was kind of funny when it went across the room, but when it went across me, not so funny. And we were out at a really nice place meeting some people. And so I went to the bathroom and actually turned my top inside out because there was nothing else I could do. You know, people are like looking at me strangely going, that's an interesting way of wearing your clothes. Like it's just something that you do and no one at the that my top was inside out. It was almost like, we don't even want to know because that's probably going to be disgusting. Cause they all knew this kid was a projectile vomiter. Yeah. And You know, everyone just kind of accepts that sometimes crazy stuff happens.

Julianne Bosch: 17:37

Yeah. And, and, and not assuming, you know, not assuming that, um, you know, she's lost a marble tonight. She's decided to wear all of her clothes inside out. It's, it's taking that time. I I'm laughing because I had a similar situation with my son who was also allergic to albometer when he was fed too much food and we got into some windy roads and, um, he. threw up all over me and we were supposed to go to a reunion. Well, I was not so lucky. It was so bad that I couldn't even turn it inside out. And I happened to, um, my husband was a scuba diver and he had a wetsuit in the back of the truck. And I decided, well, I'd rather walk into this event in the wetsuit bottom than I would With, um, the vomit that was all over me that had such a smell that was so intense and, um, like you, uh, people kind of just looked at me funny and I said, Well, you know, that's what happens when you're with kids. You got to go kind of go to go with it. And I ended up in a wetsuit. So I hope women can laugh at these stories. That's what I also wanted was is to kind of think about The perfections of being imperfect as a mom.

Magic Barclay: 18:51

And there are a lot of imperfect moments. So, you know, let's really explore your journey and expat. So you're traveling around kids in tow. I'm sure there were a lot of really imperfect moments going on there. How did you keep your sanity and how did you kind of roll with. the flow basically.

Julianne Bosch: 19:14

Well, we, because of my husband's job, um, we moved 13 times on four continents. And I will tell you there were moments of, it was tough. It was not easy. And, I think there was a lot of self talk and this is up to me. I can either make this. the best moment of my life in a new country, and I'm given an opportunity to learn new things and be curious, or this can be the worst experience of my life. And I had to remind myself of that motto a lot because I was the crafter of my destiny. I was being given an opportunity to see something that, others had not. And so it, I felt it was my duty to be able to expose myself to the best and wonderful things of a country and Bring back knowledge to those people because I think we have a perception of what a certain culture is like. And especially here in the United States, I came back and they would make a flippant remark about something. And I'd say, actually, that's not true. If you look at the history or you go and visit this and see this museum in that country, you'll find that it's X. And, I was able to turn it to a superpower, because it was knowledge collection, actually seeing something and, even my kids used it as, a way to help without being snotty, but help others understand maybe something that wasn't familiar to them or expose them to something like a food that you may find pleasure in because it aligns with A similar kind of let's say beans are popular in one country while they cook beans another way in another country. So bringing those 2 things together as a connector was kind of what I found to my superpower when I was feeling down about it. It's it's my duty to. Kind of grab knowledge. And, you know, back in my day, we had National Geographic and we were always kind of going through those and learning and seeing the pictures of other cultures. Well, I got to do that. I was my own National Geographic. And, and even now, when I returned to the United States, after moving so many times, I've decided to, like, take a day and go explore the things that are around me that I love. I didn't realize are here. For example, I returned to Sarasota, Florida. I had no clue what was in my backyard. Well, yet the Ringling Circus was here and I have the mansion. And yesterday I went to go see his house and walk around and who knew all the things about the circus. And it was fascinating. So as.

Magic Barclay: 21:58

Parents, you know, we've kind of discussed the funny side of it when we just have to improvise and see the humor, but there's also the isolating side of being a parent. No matter where you are, whether you've got a baby, a toddler. You know, a young child, a preteen, a teen, or someone in their twenties and beyond. It can be isolating, especially these days. You know, you can find that you're staring at the same four walls and you love these kids, but they're driving you nuts. So how can you suggest that moms and dads, we're not leaving them out. As I said, how can you suggest that they focus on their own? Path and, you know, reflect on their own sanity.

Julianne Bosch: 22:48

I would say the biggest piece of this is. what is important to you right now? What is the end goal of this is you've come brought this child into the world and it's a big job and it's overwhelming at times. So lean into some things that help you manage it. Mine was an escape. I read so many free books from the. The library and Apple books, or is it listening to some podcasts so you don't feel alone in your learning? Or is it music that charges your battery? Or is it a type of exercise that you need to put in and schedule that? And don't feel guilty about that because it is a long term journey. I mean, I, you know, I think little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems. You're constantly going to be, Called on for action to assist. And it is a tiring laborious job as a parent. But I think your, your most important piece is how do you manage it? What is important to you right now to help that child succeed? Cause if you don't take that self care for yourself first, you can't be a better parent. And, I think. Our culture right now does not, allow for that pause or that time to meditate or listen to a podcast or self manage yourself. and. I highly recommend to a parent, work on that, cultivate that because it is really important to keep you going when things get tough. mine was reading and I will say I ate the GDP and really fine chocolate. I splurged on little, different kinds of dark chocolate. And for me, that was kind of my bliss that I had. As my go to when I was just feeling a little off is okay. I need an hour to just disconnect and read or listen to a podcast or listen to certain music and recenter re self manage myself. Great.

Magic Barclay: 24:52

Is there something that we haven't covered, Julianne, that you think the listeners really need to know?

Julianne Bosch: 24:58

as parents, I think, We have an ideal of you want best for your Children, and I remind you that they will constantly shock you. Whatever you say black, they will go white. it's just the law of attraction and the way it happens. And, uh. I guess as, we look at all the conversation that we've had between weight and your mental and physical and spiritual wealth, and, um, all of those things tie together as a parent, providing stepping stones or blocks for your child or children. I created this thing that I want to share with your listeners. It's called the safety zone. And I, I really encourage it's something that. I fell upon it on accident because another mother told me about it and I'm spreading the word of this is have a safety zone at home. So your children do have that confidence to have conversations. Communication and storytelling is really important. So have them be able to express themselves in the home, have personal conversations about sex, drugs, and rock and because they need somewhere now in this day and age. Dependable that they can come to the people that they trust the most to have conversations and even uncomfortable conversations. And, you can read more about that in my book is creating this safety zone for your kids. but that's something I just really want to touch on because of how our world is right now. And, uh, I, I lean into that and I offer that piece of advice to your parents that are listening.

Magic Barclay: 26:34

Yeah. Safety zone certainly is important. And. That kind of gets me to, you know, a private zone as a mom, I'm finding this minor 20 and 23, and I've never closed a door to them, but now it's ridiculous. I can't even be in the bathroom by myself. So, you know, how do we find that space, especially, you know. Throughout all the crazy stuff that's going on in the world at the moment, and sometimes we're locked in the same home. How do we find a space to escape that's not the walk in wardrobe or, you know, the laundry?

Julianne Bosch: 27:14

you know, something I learned and, uh, I think it's creating those parameters, designing the alliance with your family members, sit down and talk to them, like, I need this hour to recharge and be, efficient, my maximum efficiency for you. That's going to be in my bedroom with the door closed. And I need that hour of this day to be. Silent, you know, and if you don't design that alliance, and then on the counter side of that is what do they need? When do you need, your alliance with this relationship that we're creating in our home? I have found that that has been, the most beneficial. I call it a design alliance because it's, In your home, they're kind of making their requests. You're making your requests. And as you grow older together, you can recraft that design alliance. You can change it. But if you don't communicate the needs that you need, your kids can't read your mind. So, I think it's really important for you as, as they also become adults is to be, vocal with your needs and be curious enough to listen to what are your needs right now? How can I honor your safety zone in space right now? So that we don't mesh and plank heads, again, creating that framework for intention of how parenting is going to be, this is what's going to happen in our house.

Magic Barclay: 28:35

I did try that, but as 20 and 23, they know everything in the world and I know nothing. Apparently I got to 50 by some miracle and you know, so I think that kind of leads me to my next question and that is what happens when they're grown up and they have this fresh perspective on life and seem to think that it was a fluke. We made it. Like they didn't live through the eighties. They have no idea. Yeah. And the sentence, they have no idea that we rode in cars without seatbelts often on the floor or the back seat, or in the back of the ute or truck with nothing holding us in, you know, they don't understand that there were no telephones and the time you went home was when the streetlights came on, but no one knew where you were all day. How do we explain to this generation? That we've survived so much that we can kind of make it now into our later adulthood without their guidance.

Julianne Bosch: 29:36

Yeah, I, I think this has been something that's reoccurring happening to me. My, my three kids, are now elsewhere and they are working yet. I have these, moments, for example, here in the United States, a movement was happening and, one of my children turned off their phones and I could not reach him. And then the next thing I know there's news media saying that there's a riot, that people have been shot, you know, and so panic sets in. And so I encourage you to, Watch the news and sit down and have those discussions say in my day, this is what we were exposed to. We didn't have X, Y, and Z. This is how we did these things. if you were in my shoes, what would you tell me now at my fifties and listen to their response and, and, and provoke conversation about what your, your time was like and what they would do in your shoes. And then I would say, okay, so now with. advanced technology, the way you guys do things on that, I would do X, Y and Z and have them tell you what is reality. Because I think even as parents, we have a perception of what their lives are like right now. And I found a middle ground with those conversations lately. I've had to read more. I've had to, swallow a little bit of a jagged pill because I have been taught things, but also my children have also, evoked conversation with me that I don't know if they would have unless I was open to receiving it. So I would say. Explain to them what the eighties was like for you. give them a little bit of, uh, the history behind it. And then I would say, ask some powerful questions to them. Like, what would you have done in my situation back then in the eighties and, and listen to what they're saying and just say, well, this isn't. a possibility because we didn't have a phone or we didn't, you know, we didn't do that. What would you have done in that time period? And it's interesting to kind of listen to their answers. and it has been thought provoking. And I guess that's where I just I lean on you to, mix it up and have them. Revert back to your shoes and what you have learned and say, this is what I know. And if you knew these things and you were 50, what piece of advice would you give me? Because, I, so far have been surprised. and I keep reminding them that. Life somehow morphs and repeats itself. I mean, things that were happening in the seventies I see are happening again. Things that were happening in the eighties are happening again in another way, but a little bit of the same topic. So, That would be my, my go to at it as these conversations arise, because I feel like they're not new. The issues that are happening are not new. They just have a different slant to it and we can find a middle ground. Fantastic

Magic Barclay: 32:31

advice as always. Now, Julianne. We love freebies here, and off air you mentioned a very generous freebie, so lay it on us, what is it?

Julianne Bosch: 32:43

I would love for the first, I'm going to say three, the first three listeners that reach out to you and pop their piece of advice to you, I will send you a free book, a signed copy and a note written specifically for you for your listeners.

Magic Barclay: 33:02

Great. So listeners on our Facebook page, when this episode goes to air, you will see a post and it's going to be, what is your best parenting advice? We'll pass it on to Julianne. We'll pass your details on. And if you're the first three, you will get a book. So that's pretty cool.

Julianne Bosch: 33:25

Fantastic. I can't wait to meet you three and hear your advice. I can't wait to

Magic Barclay: 33:31

hear your advice. So our Facebook page is at a magical life podcast. So definitely jump on if you just heard this, this episode. Quickly jump onto our Facebook page and leave your parenting advice. Now, the book is called How a Mother Took Her First Step on the Moon, a Mother's Keepsake Journal of Advice to My Children. What a fantastic book, and where was it 20 years ago for me?

Julianne Bosch: 34:03

Or me. That's why I created it. I think we were both needing that middle ground. We needed somebody to kind of give us our, our first step. And that's why I wrote it. I assumed that For, for us, Neil Armstrong was such a historical character of taking that first step and that fear of the first. And, um, I wanted to provide those first step moms an opportunity to have that framework. So I look forward to hearing their comments and, uh, reach out to me on my webpage or, or on social media. I would love to have a conversation with other parents.

Magic Barclay: 34:41

Great. And your webpage is www. Dot mother's first step. com. Where on socials can people find you?

Julianne Bosch: 34:51

I'm on Facebook, on Instagram and LinkedIn under my name, Julianne Bosch B O S C H and mother's first step on Instagram.

Magic Barclay: 35:03

Fantastic listeners. This was your episode two to five, of course, don't forget to jump onto our Facebook page at a magical life podcast, pop in your parenting advice, and if you're the first three. Julianne will be sending you a book and as always, listeners, thank you for your time. Julianne, thank you so much for joining us.

Julianne Bosch: 35:26

Thank you for having me.

Magic Barclay: 35:28

Pleasure and listeners go forth and create your magical life.