Learning to Rely on the "other" Co-Parent

Learning to Rely on the "other" Co-Parent”, not an easy thing to do.  It is a tough order to depend on the other co-parent especially if there have been trust issues in your past relationship with them.

Vincent de Paul is recorded as having asked:  “What do you think is most often the cause of our failings in our resolutions? It’s that we depend too much on ourselves, we put trust in our good desires, we rely on our own strength, and that’s the reason we don’t get any good results from them.” 

Here are some tips to help you be more accepting of help from others.

1. Learn to be vulnerable.
2. Explore your beliefs on receiving.
3. Give others an opportunity to give.
4. Pay it forward instead of returning it.
5. Feel the love, be grateful and present
6. Practice accepting help from everyone, even strangers.

1. Allowing  yourself to be Vulnerable

To accept help, you have to let go of control and be vulnerable. For some, that may be the hardest hurdle to overcome but it is important in order to let others step in and help.

2. Examine your beliefs on receiving.

If you’re having difficulty others take control, examine some of the reasons this may be. Being vulnerable is not a weakness and neither is asking for help.

·         What’s stopping me from accepting help?

·         Do you feel that you don’t deserve to receive their compliment or love? Why do you feel that way?

3. Give others an opportunity to give.

Receiving is not only about you. It’s also about the giver. Imagine a well-intention, loving person giving you something and you reject their gifts. How would that make them feel? Unappreciated? Awkward? Embarrassed? Open yourself up and let others help and give you this most precious gift.

4. Pay it forward instead of returning it.

Sometimes when people aren’t comfortable with receiving, they would return the love, the compliment, or the gifts in another form immediately. For example, when someone gives them a gift, they feel obliged to find something to give back.

When it’s your time to receive, it’s important for you to embrace the moment. Don’t be in a hurry to give back to the other person. You are just deflecting their love back to them. It’s like: “I can’t receive your love. Here have it back.” Then what you give them, would not be authentic.

5. Feel the love, live in the moment and show gratitude.

To receive is such a beautiful experience. Start a journal of gratitude to write down how thankful you are to have someone in your life that cares for you and gives you support when you most need it. Unfortunately many in this world aren’t as fortunate.

6. Practice accepting help everywhere.

You don’t have to wait for someone to give you help to practice receiving. Whenever you need help, just ask for it. Don’t worry about being rejected. Give others an opportunity to help you. If they aren’t the one, move on to the next.