136 - What Happens When We Lose The Juice For Stuff

Does that happen to you? You really get going on a project, a goal, a dream, and suddenly the juice is gone. For me, it's very dramatic and feels like I'm a failure, or that this isn't meant to be anymore, or that I'll have to just wait until the juice comes back.

Today I'm talking about what I do to move forward when the juice is gone. 

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Transcript

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Yeah, a lot of us ADHD folk, like we talk about having the juice for stuff, like having the juice to do a thing. So, like, what do we do when we lose that inner juice to do stuff? When we're juiceless. Let's talk about that. And I'm not going to use the word dopamine once. Starting now. You are listening to ADHD Big Brother, the podcast for adults struggling with their ADHD and comorbid depression symptoms. I'm your host, Russ Jones, author of The Standing to the Top, believer that you can actually have a smile in your life despite this diagnosis. So let's make some sense out of this struggle. Let's learn some stuff. Let's laugh at some stuff. Ladies and gentlemen, here's some stuff. Well, hello. Welcome to the podcast. Glad you're here. Uh, let's get the mental health stuff out of the way. Just uh I really want to be done with it. So uh here's my mental health check. I'm doing pretty good, all things considered, you know, still laid off. Uh I have to work at this place until the 30th. And that's uh silly. I am getting some good experience observing how people deal with uh like their perception of the pain I might be experiencing. As a lot of people just want to throw unsolicited, you know, think on the bright sides. It's all about your perspective. You know, let me tell you about a time when I might have had it worse, uh, and that might help you. So, you know, you're welcome for that. I'm like, okay, wonderful. This is definitely an experience. One for the old diary. Uh anyway, I think I'm doing pretty good. So that's that. Done and done. All right. The ADHD Big Brother community, they've been super supportive. And man, we got some new members this week, and we actually got another school spaghetti master. Let's talk about that. Imagine, if you will, an adult with ADHD who does what they say they're gonna do, and they not only do that, but they do that a hundred days in a row. That, my friends, is a skull spaghetti master, and they exist. And we now have five of them in our community. Oh, you mean people in the ADHD Beer Brother community are getting their shit together? Uh yeah. Yeah. So congrats to you, Stephanie. Uh, the newest Skull Spaghetti Master. Way to frickin' go, god damn it. God, I love our people. Or our kind. Is that what it I love our kind? I mean, we are a kind of a different species. The science says that the ADHD brain uh is actually different. So maybe, you know, we are our own species, you know. Maybe they are the they should change the classification. You know, that song that we used to sing in school, kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species. That is so freaking weird that that I know right off the top of my head, but I'm still having a hard time coming up with your name. Is it Tronston? I've never heard that name before. Oh, Johnson! I thought you said Tronston. Uh, brains. All right, let's talk about the juice. I've been hearing this from a few people, so I wanted to discuss it here. Does this happen to you guys? Uh, I have a goal, I got a big idea, I got a big job, big project, big dreams, dreaming and scheming, man. And I'm just flying, making it happen, putting it together, you know, like it's I'm hyper focused, right? With my super duper hyper-focused superpower. And then I reach a point where uh like I need information, or the path becomes unclear, or I need to learn how to use a thing first, or do a thing first, or make a thing first. It it's something that it requires thought and stopping a little bit. And that stopping, it's like a productivity grenade, it blows the whole thing up. It creates a level of tension and uncomfortability that it just resonates so profoundly in me as like this is over, or I failed, or I have to wait until I get my juice back. But instead of moving forward, I just fucking quit. Just I'm just done. It's clear, it's clearly this wasn't meant to be, this isn't working. Like it doesn't feel anymore the way that it felt before, which is how I feel that it should feel, and so then that's a sign that it's not supposed to be, you know, almost spiritually, like it's it's it's not supposed to happen, or at least not now. And so it becomes like a future me thing, or for when I have my juice in the future, and we all know that that juice never comes. Does that happen to you guys? It's happened to me quite a bit in my 48 years of life on this flying blue water ball known as Earth. I know it's happened to you. I mean, come on, I can feel it. One of my gifts, one of my sp you know, they talk about ADHD gifts. One of my gifts is that I have this extra sensory ability to make assumptions about you, and then occasionally I'm right. So I'm just willing to take that risk right now. If it's never happened to you, uh first of all, I don't believe you. And then second of all, congratulations. I mean, I wish. But if it has, I will offer you the this is what helps me. Um, and if it helps you, great. And if it doesn't, you know, file it under DNWFM. Or does not work for me. Uh I've done this podcast since October of 2020. So we're coming up on four years, and there have been times when I have lost the juice for a few times. There's there's been a number of times, uh, but I've kept at it. And I want to, and so I'll talk about that because that's my data point. And then I built up the ADHD Big Brother community from literally when it was when it was just me in there talking to myself, and you know, now we've got over 50 members, it's growing. Um uh, but you know, but there have been times, man, when when I'm just like the juice is gone, there's no point, or whatever it is. This is the encouragement aspect of this for me, is that it's easier when I know up front that this is going to happen. Wonderful if it never does, but I'm expecting it. And that's a me thing. I mean, I can't begin to assume to know if and when you're gonna lose your juice. So when I endeavor for big things now, uh, I make sure I have my conversation with myself about my purpose or my purposes or my purposees, my purpose I. Because some things are actually okay to lose the juice for, you know, and whatever on those. Uh, and I also utilize my core four in these cases. And if you don't know what a core four is, well, you gotta get yourself one. A core four! Uh that's my rhyme-tastic word that represents four people who uh as an adult who struggles with depressive episodes, they know about it. Uh, they support, and I don't want to say that they're on call, but you know, I can call them whenever I want. It's like a known thing that if uh things are dark, I can call them whenever I want. And I think it's actually expected that I'll do that. Uh, and I highly recommend a core four. Uh, but how that relates to this is I also run my big ideas by my core four to gauge opinions. I run by my feelings of being juiceless to gauge thoughts. Not to dictate what I choose to do with my life, but to run big decisions by them to see reactions. And then I can take that collective data and then I can make an informed decision about this that seems right for me. It's my way of attempting to inhibit an impulsive behavior, and it's a way for me to assess whether something is, you know, truly juiceless and I'm gonna move on, or it's juiceless right now and I'm gonna move forward. And once I've determined that something is in alignment with my purpose and a direction that I can see is purposeful for me, um I don't know any other words besides purpose. I clearly, uh, then I can, you know, hyperfocus or whatever if that's happening. Uh, and then when it's not, I can use ADHD tools and strategies to keep moving my needle forward because I've predetermined that this is what I want at this point in my life. You know, things will change over time, but this is what I've decided. I think that the juicelessness thing, it it's almost like the way that I experience it is the difference between my soul directing me because I'm being led by this drive. It's like, oh, it's my reason for being, which I think that's our gift as ADHDers, because if you're like me, then my emotion level can be so dramatic. And the good side of things, it's amazing. Like when we can experience these amazing levels of joy, and you know, I love hard and I get to experience these phenomenal, profound states. But then that also means that I experience the bad stuff at that same dramatic level, and that folk sucks. And the world calls that uh emotional dysregulation, like which I'm still on the fence about. Um, you know, just because normally society wants everyone to experience life on like the same playing field, you know, there's an appropriate level of all these emotions, so you know, you don't want to go too big. Um, but that that'll be a conversation for a different day. Uh so on the other side of that coin, when I have no juice, it's like dramatically I feel like I'm just uh an employee for myself, and I'm the employer as well, and I've got a job to do, and every day's a fucking Monday, and nobody wants what I have to offer. And here I go, slogging through the bullshit. It's not fun, it's not interesting. And fun and interesting are the juice-making qualities for adults with ADHD. So that's what it feels like when I have no juice. And my skull spaghetti tries to convince me that this is another failure because I don't have my excitement juice. Knowing that there's a purpose to it that I can just trust is there because in the moment I don't feel it, that's one of the things that helps me slog through. And that that's why I think I'm so intensely subscribed to the power of community, and probably why I'm so outspoken on it. I've swallowed the pill. I'm kind of all in on it, and I will probably advertise my community to every fucking week from this day forward. Um, but that's my best medicine. And I feel like I should caveat here a little bit. Um, you guys already know that I'm not a mental health professional. Uh, I'm a mental health client, I'm a mental health case. So I don't feel comfortable telling people what to do. Um, you know, uh like if you're sad, you have to call someone, you need to reach out. Um, I only feel good about suggestions, maybe based on me and my lived experience. So that said, uh, I can't do purpose work when I'm in a depressive episode. I have tried. It's way too dangerous for me because in a depressive episode, I don't feel like I have a purpose. Like, right? It's it's a it's it's a stupid, sucky thing to say, but I you how we feel is how we feel when we're depressed, and that's how I feel when I'm depressed. So in those times, I rely heavily on the work I've done prior, you know, in the in between in the in-betweeny times. So in the in-between. So when I say that I lean on my purpose, it's because I did that prep work and I'm only going off of, you know, well, this is what it says on the paper. I guess this means something to me. So let's just keep going with this. It's not because I'm intrinsically feeling that purpose in the moment. Uh, because I'm not. That's just me. That's just me shooting you straight there, boys and girls. And I also shoot, I and I also want to say that I'm not trying to just sell my community. Uh, you know, it's my favorite one for sure. You can get community through your family, your friends, your coworkers. There's so many fucking Discords and slacks and stuff out there. If you engage in it and allow yourself to externalize that accountability, in my eyes, that's a winner. And we just we make it extremely easy in our community. So, and I also have my core four community. My kids and I are a community. I'm all about it, suckas. However, you're gonna get it, get it. When I try to think about doing stuff on my own, I have to rely on my own will. And I am so prone and willing and able to let myself down. So without that external accountability, without putting it out there, I would so easily give up on a thing. And I take the stance now of I decided already that this is what I'm going to do, and right now it sucks. So, how do I keep moving forward? And I'm not just talking about a depressive episode here. I'm talking about ADHD. It's as simple as it's not interesting. I don't wanna. I can't. So then it becomes about using those ADHD specific tools. And these tools are task-specific, it's pre-planning, timers, specificity, easy point of entry. Uh, and yes, I externalize accountability to my community, putting it out there. I'm gonna do this thing, and all that stacks the deck in my favor. All that stuff is all over my podcast. If you go back to previous episodes, but to that point, uh, I decided to put together a workshop, it's a webinar type deal, which is aptly titled, by the way, How to Get Started on Shitty Stuff. Uh, and it's gonna happen in a couple of weeks. So that'll try to combine everything into one. So, this is my first go at this particular workshop, which makes it actually exciting for me. Because what could go wrong? Who knows? I'm a sucker for uh that nervous energy. I kind of like it. Um, so the this will be a free workshop. I'm putting it out there to anyone that is looking for some help on getting started on those shitty things that hold no interest. And I'll hang out for a little bit afterwards if you guys want to bring your shitty task in to discuss, get some thought partnering on it. I'm I'm totally happy to help. And it's gonna be set up like a webinar type deal. So, like I should be the only one on camera, but everyone can chat in the in the chat box thing. Um, just know that I'm gonna be recording the workshop for the paid membership of the community. So if you don't want to be on the camera during the QA part, just that's no biggie. Just tell me. Um, and if you want help with your shitty thing, just make sure to bring in the reason that you believe you can't get started. And that will be like the first question. Like, well, let's peel the onion below. It's because I have ADHD. What symptom? Is it not enough interest? Do you don't have the time? What do you believe is getting in the way of you getting started? Is it your motivation? Is it too overwhelming? And we'll hash it out. And maybe we can experience the power of community by getting a collective of ideas from the participants, from yourselves in the chat. Like that to me is the best. And you guys can experience firsthand how fucking badass it is to be around ADHDers who are coming together to support each other. Dude, I love this stuff. So the link to register will all be in the show notes. Uh, I'm looking forward to it. I said this before, I know, but I my opinion is I I need ideas because ideas work and then they stop working. And so I feel like I need new ideas constantly. I only have my dumb ideas. And you know, maybe they work for you. But imagine being in a community and getting 50 dumb ideas. How awesome is that? Whew, anyways, I get really excited about that. Um, let's swing this back to a challenge to you. Because I like challenging you guys. It gives you some homework because I'm a big jerk. I challenge you. Uh pick a thing that sucks and schedule 20 minutes to work on it this week. You got seven days. Schedule it for a future day, not today. Someday when you have 20 minutes, you know you've got 20 minutes available, and make it an appointment. And yes, you can make an appointment to do the dishes. Make it an appointment. It's like it's a doctor's appointment. It's like it's a or whatever appointment that you would never blow off. And set your necessary reminders. And then when that time comes, on that day, set the timer and do that thing for that amount of time and then quit. Whether or not you finish. If it's something that you have to finish, then take a break before you go back. And then tell me how it goes. Did you do it? Or did you forget to do it? Or are you like, quit telling me what to fucking do, dude? Reach out and tell me how it goes. I'm interested. And with that, I hope you guys move forward on your shitty tasks. Congrats again to Stephanie, Skull Spaghetti Master. I am looking forward to your Skull Spaghetti Master speech. No pressure. A little bit of pressure. All right, guys, have a great week, and I will talk to you later.