Summer Sabbath & My Challenge for You

It's the launch of our summer sabbath series! Kara discusses how summer will look different on the pod over the summer months and invites you to join her in her season of rest. The episode ends with some "extra credit" for you to get you through change of pace that having our kiddos out of school creates.

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Transcript

kara-ryska_1_06-11-2024_094407: 0:01

Hello and welcome to the special needs mom podcast. We're just a few days away, just a few days from the official summer, which is, you know, summer solstice. And so whether or not your child is in school for the summer and doing extended school year, or they are out and free and roaming wildly, you're now in at least the season of summer. the time of this recording, my kids still have three days. Oh, shoot. Four days left of school. And I have mixed feelings about that. I think part of it's amazing. And also we're tired. So there's that, but good news is that it's looking very likely that Levi is going to pass his classes. And, that's good, for us. We're in a kind of tricky spot because some people advocate for. not pushing for a, diploma and going for a certificate. And quite honestly, I don't know what the best decision is yet, but the goal for us this year, he's a freshman in high school, is to have options. So we have options if he passes all his classes, or I should say at least easier options because of course he could do like summer school or whatever. But. No, thank you. No, thank you. to more school. I saw his binder this morning in his backpack and I was like, I cannot wait to throw that away. Okay. So for many of you, summer equals a big shift in schedule. That is my situation. I, I have four kids basically going in four different directions. It came down for me to make an Excel sheet, and, you know, with basically the different weeks of summer and each kid in a column and like trying to figure out who is going where and how I'm going to be meeting all the needs of all the people this summer, including myself. So I'd say we're like. 60 percent there there's some gaping holes as you can tell. Also this summer is that part of the going a million different directions is that, Levi saw a sign for oncology camp. In his oncologist's office, in May, like early, mid May. And he's like, mom, I want to go to that. So in my mind, I'm thinking, I don't know, buddy. Like that's, you know, like it's complicated. not that I didn't a hundred percent want him to go, but I think many of you will understand sending him without us to be cared for by other people, is not an easy task. So while I was a hundred percent willing to look into it and, ask the questions, I didn't feel super hopeful. Long story short is that he's going, he's going to camp and I don't, so I either call it cancer camp or oncology camp. quite honestly, both sound terrible to me. I'm like, this is terrible. but I also, I'm like, well, I guess that's what it is. I guess all of these kids have the common denominator of, they are all either, undergoing treatment or cancer. Survivors. So I'm super excited for him and having the kind of more independent experience. And also I'm thrilled with the communication so far with the nursing staff there. And as well as that, you know, knowing that this camp is going to be staffed by doctors every day. So I feel like we're going to be in really good hands. that's a little bit of a, what's going on for us in some ways this summer. And so let's get to this episode. you probably saw, in the minutes, you know, how long this episode is that it's a short episode. And really what it is is it is me launching us into the summer series and giving a little behind the scenes of what we're doing and why. And then I have a little bit of a challenge for you. You know, I couldn't help it. It's just what I do. One of, my clients, we were in the, in the group coaching program, I don't remember the particularities, but essentially I said, Hey, and for extra credit you can do and gave her an option. And anyhow, so this is your extra credit. So take the option if you want to, but if not, no big deal. Okay. So the theme of this summer for me is Sabbath. Now some of you might be very familiar with that term, likely if you have any sort of Christian or Jewish background. in the literal translation is rest, Sabbath means rest. And you know, when I talk about like, Hey, the theme of my summer is Sabbath or rest. It's not like I sat in, you know, meditative contemplation for hours and came upon this beautiful theme. It was really more like I was sitting in church, the pastor was talking about Sabbath and I was like, Oh yeah, those are the words for what I deeply know and like it deeply resonated with me. Like that's what I need. So for me, I was like, okay, yes on that. And so now this is me trying to figure out how to create that. And you know, I've shared in different episodes that the last few months have really been So I'm heavily focused in my personal restoration and healing and recovery from what was a very, very hard year. And so one of the impacts of that has been this podcast not being the most important thing I have going on in my life. And I, I don't know if that's the right way of saying it. Hasn't been the thing that I have a lot to give too. So it's kind of been, you know, this podcast has been in the impact of, you know, me doing what I need to do for myself and being the person who can create this podcast for you. So it's an interesting dynamic, right? Where it's like, I can't produce this podcast unless I take care of myself. but then sometimes doing that work actually makes it so that I, in certain moments, cannot. In the same capacity produce this podcast. So certainly in some cases I have embraced this and leaned into it. And sometimes I'm like a little bit more like grippy. I don't want to let go of it. I love it. and so it's, in some cases very easy, in some cases very difficult for me to, do it this way and to let go and to lean in. to again, the impacts of rest. So for me, what does this look like? So you know, I have four kids, so rest in the summer isn't the first word that would come to mind for many, and especially me. So in many regards, I will not be resting. I will be caring for my children. Oh, and I just, I was just talking to Dan, my husband last night about kind of what our strategy is going to be to care for Levi. he has always struggled in the area of play and he's 15 now. And so it is very easy for him to sit on a screen of some type and be content. However, as his mom, I know that's not the best thing for him. And so there's this struggle because it's like a million times, not even like a thousand or a hundred thousand, it's like a million times harder for me to help him spend time. In a way of enjoyment off the screen, but I feel deeply called to helping create the spaces for him to do that. So wish me luck. And if any of you have tips on how you do this, on how you help your child who may or may not, struggle with play, spend time doing other things. You let me know. I am all ears. I am learning this, even though one would think, you know, like he's 15, like, This is not the first time we've encountered struggles. I think this is just where it's just feeling really important for me to come alongside him now. Okay. So I won't be resting in like the traditional sense. What I mean when I'm Sabbathing or resting is really pausing. The work that I do to create this podcast in service of stopping to celebrate and stopping to rest. So it's like almost you know, there's this outpouring of energy, you know, most of the year. as I create this, so I'm just kind of, I'm pausing, I'm saying time out. I'm going to be actually doing the work to fill, myself in terms of like the things I want to bring you in content, but also like just not asking myself, to continue in the same way that I have been. So I'm sure that makes sense. For those of you that were around for episode, 200, I mean, that's a big celebration. So I think. it feels right to just kind of say, you know, let's just pause for a minute and change the way we're doing things and then come back with energy and with excitement. and you know, one thing I want to point out is that like, this idea of having seasonality and a time specifically set aside for rest, like is everywhere. It clearly is a biblical concept. So there's that. And then we look all over nature and we see cycles, you know, winter, spring, summer, fall, clearly with all the different implications of what that does to plants and to, you know, our bodies to animals and hibernation, you know, of course being the plant lover, I am, I look at plants, you know, you got your beautiful lush seedling, pliable, bendable plants, grows up, gets woody, you know, makes a flower. And then it starts to actually like, you know, the process of necrosis or also in like normal people terms, it starts to die and then eventually makes way for, new seeds and new germination. What a beautiful process that is, right? So these things are everywhere. And so really, you know, I'm following the lead of, the biblical idea of rest, but also allowing, The seasonality of, being a creator and what that means. So here's what I want you to consider. So remember earlier in the episode, I said, Hey, I'm going to have a little challenge, a little extra credit for you. And that is answering and even shortly contemplating. This is not necessarily meant to be like a whole day retreat kind of question. Like just even like, as you're listening to me, think about what comes to your mind, what's the first thing that you think of when I ask you the question, what do you need to declare as your season of rest? Now, here's the caveat. I know many of you are going to be like, well, I know exactly what I need to take a rest for, but I can't. Because of course your child's needs do not pause. I get that. So I'm going to ask you to listen. Listen to the things that you say, I most want this and acknowledge everything that feels like it's in the way, like the reason that you can't. And I'm not asking you to do a superhuman or like out of this world things. I'm asking you to entertain the idea and rather than say, I can't do that. Or it's impossible to then ask the question, like, what would make it possible? Or, okay, maybe I can't do everything that I want, but how can I get a portion of that? So I'm going to give you like a lot of just random examples. I'm just trying to get your brain to snap out of the normal, like places that we get stuck as moms and to kind of think a little bit beyond where you normally stop. So that's the, the point of me putting out a little bit more in terms of ideas. So it could be something simple, like I'm not going to make my bed for the next week. Bye. You might be like, I don't make my bed. Anyhow, what this point is illustrating. It doesn't have to be complex. It doesn't have to be like, wow, this, you know, was the biggest stress I've ever had. No, it's just like an intentional stopping of doing something, to give yourself rest or to take a break from doing something. That's another way of saying it. Right. Okay. So maybe this is probably a little bit more obvious, like taking a break from specific appointments or therapies for some period of time. And so you could say, okay, well I'm going to do just a week. I don't want to say just a week. I'm going to do a week because actually a week can be very significant as some of you know, or maybe you say, you know, I'm going to actually take a break for the entire summer, the entire time we're not in school. And I'm going to use that time to evaluate how it goes and to then get clear about what we need to pick back up when summer ends or whenever the time period that you choose ends. It could be asking your husband or partner to to take over something very specific over the summer. So it could be meals, it could be laundry, it could be some certain therapies. my husband actually has a very cyclical job as well. He's an assistant, principal at a high school. And so his, You kind of workload cycle shifts significantly over the summer. So for me, this is my example. I have an opportunity to, you know, have him pick up some of the things that I normally carry during this time. Now, totally get it. If you don't have that situation, it's very unlikely that you do, but what do you have that you notice is different or accessible to you? Maybe you have a friend that's a teacher and they have a schedule where, you can ask them, Hey, during the summer, will you come hang out like for a couple hours, once a week, since you have time off and keep me company. Cause I'm going to be doing the same thing that I'm always doing, but this will give me a little rest from the monotony of staying at home with my child or doing all the things it takes to care, give. So you can tell, like, you know, as you start to think of this, like, actually you're like, Oh my gosh, there's this option and there's this option. And so, that's, what's nice actually about being in conversation about this is like what your brain might think of and stop at, like, you know, is typical. Like that's what you're always going to stop out and having conversations or even inquiring a little bit further allows you to go past that point. All right. So that's your extra credit. I think we're going to wrap up here soon. So what does this mean for the summer and the podcast? It means don't you worry. It means I still got you. just got you in a different way. So I have selected Episodes from the archives, meaning that I've gone all the way back to earlier episodes, anywhere from two, three years ago to, I think there's one from 2023. I can't remember, but I was very thoughtful about what I wanted to bring to you, which episodes I wanted to, bring you to. Cause many of you have not been here for that many years. And so even though, these podcasts have aired before, they are new to you. So. To me, that is a win win. Okay. One last thing I wanted to mention earlier as we wrap up, there's obviously an impact to me taking this rest and and there's some fear that comes up for me and it's like, well, what if, you know, my lack of presence over the summer, makes you bored and then you wander away and you never come back. Like that could happen. So I have to actually own and acknowledge the impact and, that's okay. So in your example, let's just say you decide to change up the therapy schedule, during the summer. There's an impact to that, right? some impacts might be good and some might not be ones that you would choose. So the last thing I want to add here is that you're allowed to have an impact when you take a rest. It's okay. And notice if you're resisting any sort of impact. and just observe it with kindness and compassion. Okay. Well, with that, I'm going to wrap us up. I'm going to, say, have a great summer. At least have a great July. I'm going to be back in August. August with new episodes. So you can look forward to that in the meantime, don't be a stranger. I'll still be here hanging out. And I would love to hear from you. I am most active over on Instagram. And so you can come say, Hi, I'd love to hear from you. It makes my day when y'all reach out on Instagram and say, Hey, I found this episode and it impacted me in this way. So don't be afraid to do that. In fact, I do welcome it. So see y'all on the next episode.