S6. Ep 5. Two Gays and the Shower Club

Ever wondered how birthday celebrations evolve as you transition from your 20s to your 30s as a gay man? Join us as we share our hilarious and heartfelt journey through smelly shoes, nostalgic escapades, and the transformation from simple gatherings to extravagant trips. Benji takes us on a tour of his fabulous birthday adventure in "Gay Paris," while Brad reminisces about his uniquely themed 21st birthday cake. Along the way, we chat about maintaining personal freedom in relationships, especially when planning solo trips, all with our signature humor and candor.

Next, prepare to be whisked away to the enchanting streets of Paris. We recount our unforgettable experiences from Disneyland Paris to the bustling city nightlife. Listen as we share amusing tales from the provocative shows at the shower club Raid to the extravagant performances at Moulin Rouge, including a jaw-dropping act involving a topless dancer and snakes. Our vivid storytelling and laughter-filled anecdotes will have you planning your own Parisian adventure in no time!

We cap off the episode with some cultural critiques and a deep dive into relationship dynamics. From discussing the financial impact of the British royal family to the controversial nature of football culture, we leave no stone unturned. Then, we explore the complexities of sexual compatibility in relationships, illustrated through personal stories and listener advice. Finally, we wrap up with a call to action for our listeners to engage with us on social media and share their own queer diaries. Tune in for more laughter and insightful conversations next Wednesday!

Transcript

Birthdays and Travel in Gay Culture

Speaker 1 0:00

Smells like cheese in here.

Speaker 2 0:02

Yeah, that's because you've got your shoes right by me.

Speaker 1 0:04

Actually, it was a link to your story about Paris, but never mind. Hello and welcome to my Big Gay Podcast with me, Benji.

Speaker 2 0:11

And me, brad, giving you. Oh, my God, I've lost some of them. What, what was I in?

Speaker 1 0:17

Can you smell toast? Let's start that again.

Speaker 2 0:32

Hello and welcome to my big gay podcast with me benji and me brad, giving you the life, the loves and lols of living in london two g one city.

Speaker 1 0:43

What could possibly?

Speaker 2 0:45

go wrong.

Speaker 1 0:49

I was trying to outlast your.

Speaker 2 0:50

Oh, do you? Yeah, I do. That's your thing, is it? Yeah, always in competition with me, Always.

Speaker 1 0:55

And always winning honey. How?

Speaker 2 0:57

are you? I'm good, thank you, I'm actually back from a birthday trip away.

Speaker 1 1:02

Oh, so he doesn't care how I am All right, how I'm actually back from a birthday trip away, oh so he doesn't care how I am.

Speaker 2 1:05

All right. Oh you, was it nice. It was really nice, thank you, but I just wanted to actually bring up about birthdays in your 30s and being gay.

Speaker 1 1:11

Sorry, why is every episode bringing up our age? You're obsessed, you're obsessed, so you're old.

Speaker 2 1:20

So, you're a granddad right.

Speaker 1 1:23

A granddaddy. Haven't you shagged a granddaddy?

Speaker 2 1:28

I don't see that on the notes.

Speaker 1 1:30

It's because we already talked about it last season.

Speaker 2 1:34

In fairness, I didn't realise he was a granddad until afterwards.

Speaker 1 1:37

You're right that makes it much better.

Speaker 2 1:39

I was like, oh, we're up to this weekend. It's like I'm celebrating my 60th birthday. Could have blown everyone with a feather. I'm celebrating my 60th birthday. Could have blown everyone with a feather. I'm sorry, what 60? I thought you were in your 40s. Yeah, my grandkids are coming over. Oh my God, get me out of this bedroom now.

Speaker 1 1:51

Stood there in your jock like sorry, do you know where my other sock is?

Speaker 2 1:56

Anyway, that is another story for another time. Well, tell me if you have a different experience. In your 20s, right in the gay world, you go to like a bar for your birthday. Something happens in your 30s. Suddenly the gays are like we want to go away for a weekend, we want to go to paris, we want to go to germany, we want to go to wherever.

Speaker 1 2:14

And these birthdays become bigger and more expensive and more extravagant every decade I love how you're complaining about this, but I know, because where did you go For my friend's?

Speaker 2 2:22

birthday Paris.

Speaker 1 2:25

Gay Paris.

Speaker 2 2:26

Gay Paris.

Speaker 1 2:27

And was it gay?

Speaker 2 2:27

It was fucking gay and I loved it.

Speaker 1 2:31

We're going to have the Parisian tourist board calling us up. It's fucking gay. It's fucking gay. Fucking camp as tits.

Speaker 2 2:38

Yeah, good gay scene in Paris. Who knew Love it? But before I talk about my little paris adventure, do you find the same like in your 20s? What were you doing for your birthdays?

Speaker 1 2:46

um, I remember for my 21st birthday I had friends around to my parents house.

Speaker 2 2:51

I was still straight at this point my girlfriend was there and, oh my god, we're going way back in time.

Speaker 1 2:56

Jesus, my sister had bought a. No, my mom had made a cake and my sister had bought. You know, there's like printed icing paper tops, like a picture printed. Yeah, you know what picture she got printed to cover the entirety of my cake. We're talking like a big, I want to say like 45 centimeter diameter cake I know exactly what this is your headshot from drama school no, this before I graduated.

Speaker 1 3:18

it's so much more camp than that you in a school play. It's another famous ginger, jerry from Spice Girls. Ariel, ariel, the Little Mermaid was on my cake for their 21st youngest son's, who was straight birthday.

Speaker 2 3:33

And your mum didn't know you were gay at the time.

Speaker 1 3:35

No, I had no idea.

Speaker 2 3:36

And yet she gave you an Ariel cake.

Speaker 1 3:38

No, my sister did it, but no one questioned it. Nobody questioned it.

Speaker 2 3:41

Which I mean is loving in itself. It's it, nobody questioned it. Which I mean it's loving in itself, such. They were just hoping, I think, but yeah anyway, yeah, wow. But then birthdays in your 30s, you find that you end up doing bigger things, going away, etc I think, well, we've got different social groups anyway, haven't?

Speaker 1 3:55

we've obviously got like our group of gays that we hang out with in clapham, etc. But we have different pods as well, and a lot of my other friends are women and straights. Actually, a lot of them are now married and I don't know how you can say to them let's go on holiday, but please don't bring your husbands.

Speaker 1 4:11

Oh yeah, is that rude? I don't think it's rude. I think if I was married and happily married, loved my husband to absolute pieces. Here's me wishing. One day it happens and you were like, listen, we're going to go on a gay mates holiday, no partners. I would have no problem telling my other half like I'm going on holiday, you're not coming, look after the dog yeah, on holiday with the boys. I think, that's healthy. I think it's healthy.

Speaker 2 4:32

Yeah, for me, I don't care what it is, for them I don't believe in having a partner and doing every single thing with them all the time time no I think you need to have a bit of freedom a lot of freedom, yeah, because then we can talk about, so obviously you come back back. Oh, my goodness, let me tell about my weekend, yeah I mean, I haven't had many like birthday outings.

Speaker 1 4:58

I've had a lot of hendoos this year. Oh, you have too many. And then weddings as well oh my goodness listen, if any of those people are listening. I've had the best time on the Hindus and I've had the best time on the weddings, but it is a lot.

Speaker 2 5:10

It's a lot yeah.

Speaker 1 5:11

And I'm not talking financially, just when you're single, going to all these Hindus and all these weddings, it is a lot.

Speaker 2 5:18

Everyone, with their couples and their partners, and then there's you with your dog literally how no, ned didn't come actually, but there is at all these weddings.

Speaker 1 5:26

You're always going to find somebody else in the same sort of boat as you.

Speaker 1 5:29

I've actually got a wedding coming up next weekend oh my goodness, how exciting Manchester, manchester as well yes, and I booked a really lovely hotel and the day we get there the bride has just messaged me like arrive, what are you doing? I was like, oh, I get in at like 10 to 2. She's like, okay, great, because you can't check in until like gone three. So do you mind coming to help set up where the wedding is? And obviously I don't have no problem setting up. But you know what I'd actually done? I'd called the hotel and said listen, I'm coming all the way from london. I'm going to be absolutely bloomin exhausted. Please make sure my room is ready for arrival.

Speaker 1 5:59

They have said no problem, they'll get an early check-in nice, and then I book myself in straight into the spa ah, love that for you you love a spa hotel a spa in general. So if you can hear that like farting noise, it's this leather seat.

Speaker 1 6:09

It's benji's loose hole it's, oh, it's, um, it's this leather seat. I'll try not to move around, but I love a spa. I actually took my mom to one not that long ago. I know we've gone on a tangent, sorry. We'll bring it back to you in paris, I promise, but um, I took my mum to one and she just didn't know what to do with herself. Bless her heart. Nice, just didn't, just didn't like. She was like, should we go in the pool? She couldn't do the steam room. It was too much, right, yeah, yeah, I, I love that bougie lifestyle. In fact, on my bucket list, fingers crossed, this happens. I really want to go to um vienna nice, yeah, yeah, they have it's either the largest in Europe or largest in the world.

Speaker 1 6:44

That spa. Gay men's only? Well, it's men's only sauna. Sorry, it's not gay sauna, it's men's only sauna. But I think from the websites that I've been reading, it is very.

Speaker 2 6:53

Gay friendly.

Speaker 1 6:54

Very, very gay friendly. Yeah, and it's like three floors, it's like an old palace.

Speaker 2 7:02

I've seen this on Instagram or TikTok, or something.

Speaker 1 7:03

It actually looks amazing. I've probably been the one sending you all the videos? Probably, yeah, but there's like statues, it's just like big paintings, but the whole thing is a spa, like different floors, there's steam rooms. So I really want to go to that. This is not me inviting you, just so you know.

Speaker 2 7:15

Got my suitcase. I'm ready to go.

Speaker 1 7:26

No, I told you before naked sauna with any friends, I would get the giggles with you as well. I'd get the giggles. I just don't want to be staring at your willy like whilst I'm trying to relax and steam and inhale yeah, when your eye poked out by it.

Speaker 2 7:33

Why are?

Unique Experiences in Paris

Speaker 1 7:33

you getting that close, bloody hell. Anyway, sorry you, paris, I'm ready, let's go.

Speaker 2 7:41

I love Paris. Have you been to Paris before to Disney? Is Paris? I'm ready, let's go. I love Paris. Have you been to Paris before? To Disney? Is that?

Speaker 1 7:46

all you've done in Paris, just Disneyland? Yeah, I think so I've driven through Paris by accident.

Speaker 2 7:49

That was hell. Right, yeah, cried the whole time, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 7:53

They push you with their bumpers, do they? Literally yeah, but no, I don't think I've had so you've never been to the Eiffel Tower.

Speaker 2 8:01

No, you've never been taken up the Eiffel Tower, or that. No, paris is lovely, highly recommend Anyone listening who might want to go somewhere different for a weekend away. And we went to this club called Raid R-A-I-D-D Two Ds at the end. I love two Ds, two Ds.

Speaker 1 8:21

At the end of the night.

Speaker 2 8:23

Also known as the shower club, because in this club it's like a normal club bar, etc. They have a shower built into the wall and every hour a man comes into the shower and showers Fully naked.

Speaker 1 8:36

Fully naked Like a sexy shower. Sexy shower, yeah.

Speaker 2 8:39

So, like you know, squelching the lotion on the body, rubbing the lotion on the body, rubbing the lotion in, comes in in like a pair of Speedos.

Speaker 1 8:45

Oh, so it's like a show.

Speaker 2 8:46

It's a show it's an actual show, this person that came to the shower when we were there the biggest dick I've ever seen in my life.

Speaker 1 8:53

I don't know why, when you say dick, it just goes straight through me.

Speaker 2 8:57

I don't mean it that way Really.

Speaker 1 8:59

Yeah, oh, actually is this the video that you showed me.

Speaker 2 9:01

Oh, I put it on the podcast. I was drunk, oh yeah, and it got removed. It did get removed. I thought we were going to get completely removed in general.

Speaker 1 9:09

Yeah, you can't put that on Instagram.

Speaker 2 9:11

I didn't realise. You can't not share things like that. But anyway, lesson learned obviously.

Speaker 1 9:15

Would you see anyone else sharing things like that, or do you just have to ask yourself?

Speaker 2 9:29

do. I is true, but I'd had a few wines at this point, so I was just living my best life.

Speaker 1 9:31

You are chaos a little bit, a little bit. Well, that's interesting, so highly recommend that, just as like a you know, a unique experience.

Speaker 2 9:33

I've never been a unique, wholesome evening, a lovely evening out with the family and how often does this uh machine happen? I think it's like every, either, every half hour, every hour.

Speaker 1 9:40

So you stayed there for how many hours?

Speaker 2 9:42

no, we was there clubbing, we did, we did like a whole bar crawl, but we went there for like a beer and how many shower shows did you see?

Speaker 1 9:47

just the one oh, really oh.

Speaker 2 9:48

And then I saw him afterwards as well, like in the club. I was like, oh my god, I just saw you in the shower.

Speaker 1 9:52

It's like, oh, bonjour, oh my god, french gonna hate you. Perfect, you know he's clean. That's true, right, yeah?

Speaker 2 9:58

yeah, I've just seen you squeaky clean. You are good to go. Love, you are good to go. I'll be out the back see you there in two minutes yeah, shower show, so check that out if you're ever in Paris. And also one thing that I love I've always wanted to go is the Moulin Rouge.

Speaker 1 10:12

Welcome to the Moulin Rouge say it in a French accent the Moulin Rouge, the that's not French.

Speaker 2 10:20

Oh yeah, le.

Speaker 1 10:20

Moulin Rouge. Wow, oh yeah.

Speaker 2 10:23

Le Moulin Rouge. Wow, thank you bilingual. I'm bi lingual oh my goodness, now I'm getting the city tides don't do this not the peace sign with it?

Speaker 2 10:37

oh, my goodness, I'm now getting the giggles as well. But no, check out the Moulin Rouge if you're gonna go. It's quite expensive but it's worth doing. The one thing that I did not enjoy, though, like Moulin Rouge, is a massive cabaret show, loads of dancers. They do the can-cans, where the can-cans run, etc. They had this like pool come up from the stage and a woman most of the women are topless in the show dive in the pool and in the pool, and in the pool were snakes and she does this whole like dance where, like, the snakes are like swimming around her and she's like putting the snakes around her body. Weren't feeling that bit.

Speaker 1 11:09

I'm feeling that I don't like your leg oh my goodness my heel oh my goodness, if you heard that, that's just me breaking my heel, sorry, wow snakes.

Speaker 2 11:20

Broken Hills, alexandra Burke right here.

Speaker 1 11:36

Oh my gosh, wow sorry, snakes yeah.

Speaker 2 11:39

I've never seen that before in my life either. So not only did I see a shower show in a club never seen, also a woman, woman, topless woman dancing with four snakes that's more like Indiana Jones, yeah, yeah it was very much that, yeah yeah that was like the whole kind of theme, that sort of Indiana Jones-y tribal theme of the number and these snakes are trying to get out of the that is not the type of snake that I like the snake I like is showering in the club down the road.

Speaker 1 12:09

Wrap that round me, honey. This I'm out.

Speaker 2 12:12

I'm out, but anyway, if you fancy something different, you've never been to Paris before. Highly recommend there are two places for you to go that I've just recommended for you. Good luck and bonjour. God bless, benji. Yes, bradley, I want to play a game with you.

Speaker 1 12:31

Whoa. Don't play with me, though, because I feel weak at the moment.

Speaker 2 12:36

You're still not very well.

Speaker 1 12:37

Still not great and very single.

Speaker 2 12:40

Oh God, we can't have this for a whole season. You whinging that you're single.

Speaker 1 12:43

You did Dare. We bring up the Drake and his ex-boyfriend breakup.

Speaker 2 12:49

Not again. I'm over that. I'm over that. I'm so good.

Speaker 1 12:53

So good, I'm so good. All right, come on then. What's the game?

Speaker 2 12:55

Okay, well, it's a new game that I have made up and I thought it would be good our international listeners to get to know a little bit about us and what we like being British, oh, okay.

Speaker 1 13:06

I mean, I'm from Jersey.

Speaker 2 13:08

That's still part of the UK, isn't it?

Speaker 1 13:10

I know. But anyone listening from Jersey, we like to be known as, like you know, independent. Yeah, but that's fine, we'll go with it.

Speaker 2 13:15

But you know, you live in London, you. So this is a game called Brit or Quit Brit or Quit, nice jingle Brit or Quit. So I'm going to give you something that's quite British Right and you've got to say Brit yes and like up for that or like nah quit Got it.

Speaker 1 13:36

So Brit means like yes, it's part of my heritage, I love it, I agree with it. And quit means nah, I'm done with it.

Summer Festivals, Crumpets, and Royals

Speaker 2 13:51

Yeah, exactly means now I'm done with it. Yeah, exactly, and it's all part of british culture. Got it okay? First one on the list, let's go glastonbury. Oh, quit, quit, absolutely quit. Now for those of you who like what's glastonbury.

Speaker 1 13:55

It is a massive festival that happens every year in the uk. It's the largest, isn't?

Speaker 2 13:56

it. Yeah, every summer they've had huge headliners. In the past we just had jua lipa perform. This year we've had adele in the past, elton John, all the greats right. I've done Glastonbury. It's a bit like Coachella in America. I'd say yeah you know, if you're into festivals, that is like the one to go to. They sell out so fast, haven't they? Have you seen all those videos of people that are like hardcore Glastonbury fans with on the phone synced up trying to get tickets when the tickets drop?

Speaker 1 14:22

No, I have not.

Speaker 2 14:23

Mad Mental, because she's a quitter. She's a quitter, do you know?

Speaker 1 14:28

what it is. It's not so much the music. You know I don't like massive crowds anyway, I don't mind the hooplas and the prides of the world, but even then I'm not as sleeping in a tent Love camping. I'm not being like, you know, I'm not being high maintenance Love camping, but I don't know if I could camp at a field with thousands and thousands of other people all sharing the same toilets. If it rains, it's muddy and everyone just like embraces the mud. I've seen videos of people like just rolling, caked in what they think is mud, what we hope is mud, yeah, and I'm just like that's a slip and slide. No, yeah.

Speaker 1 15:03

Not for me and unwashed smelly yeah Breath. I've got a very sensitive nose but I'm really fun.

Speaker 2 15:10

So if you're single, I am actually on the same page as you. I've never been to Glastonbury. I'm also not about the tent life. Now I did actually have a look because on my bucket list is to do Glastonbury once. I feel like as a British person I should probably do it once in my lifetime and I looked at those, the glamping thing that you can do at Glastonbury, you know, when you're like the lovely teepees that's already set up and beautiful butler, all of that, yeah, you have like. Well, I don't have a butler, but you've got like your own bar, your own like toilets, away from everybody.

Speaker 1 15:38

Okay, that might be good.

Speaker 2 15:40

And in the glamping, like these lovely tents are like double beds, Proper double beds.

Speaker 1 15:46

Yeah, but do you think you're going to get a wink of sleep?

Speaker 2 15:48

But it's just having a little lie down. You know A nice little lie down after.

Speaker 1 15:51

That's true, yeah, but.

Speaker 2 15:53

I looked at the costs. Oh how much Expensive. Thousands, thousands, thousands, yeah.

Speaker 1 15:59

For the glampers yeah.

Speaker 2 16:01

So I can only do Glastonbury if I hit the jackpot.

Speaker 1 16:04

Wow, no again. No, I would rather spend thousands on something else, Right?

Speaker 2 16:08

If I'm like, okay, do you want to go to Glastonbury for a weekend or go away on a lovely holiday? Can?

Speaker 1 16:12

you imagine, though, us and like if we took eight friends and all of us were like we have a grand to spare, yeah, the 10 of us. Imagine 10 grand. We'd get like a massive villa.

Speaker 2 16:21

Right In like sitches. Right.

Speaker 1 16:23

Or even further afield, Like we'd go. So we're in Greece. Okay, I actually want to make this happen now. Have our own pool, like Right. For that money and stay there for like two weeks for food, not drink, because I know how much you drink.

Speaker 2 16:37

You're like a goldfish, big old alcoholic but um, yeah, I would much rather spend the money on that right. And that's basically what happened was like do I want to do that for a weekend or go away for a long holiday?

Speaker 1 16:48

thousands. Oh, my goodness, in the papers that I read this morning it was like that the youth, so the youngsters, whatever they were, that I says my actually probably wasn't us I mean, I don't think we're part of that category anymore. But it was basically saying, like people are really struggling to get on the property ladder this year because at the moment, because they don't have enough money, because everything's too expensive, right? Well, here they all are, spending it on Glastonbury and the Gale Time in the field.

Speaker 1 17:10

Gale Time yeah, oh well, actually, yeah, almost sold me on it, but I'm afraid Glastonbury for me is a quit.

Speaker 2 17:18

Okay, number two crumpets.

Speaker 1 17:22

Absolute. I cannot say this strong enough If I'm really considering cancelling all my plans for the rest of the day to go home and eat crumpets because I'm Brit, brit, brit. Crumpets are one of my all-time favourite, favourite things.

Speaker 2 17:37

I didn't know this was going to be this.

Speaker 1 17:38

Yeah, as you can tell, I'm very passionate about it. It has to be a particular brand, but I'm very, very much here for the crumpets. In fact, if we went on a date and I ended up staying at yours and you made me crumpets, I'd probably ask you to marry me right then and there, wow, you heard it here on the podcast right away. Or have a really good sense of humor, remember, it's not just about that One or the other, One or the other, both jackpot. What do you put on your crumpets? This is why I love crumpets. You can put all sorts on them, right. I like it with jam, I like it with butter. I've had it with just butter and salt. I know cardiac arrest, but delicious. Uh-huh. Poached eggs, yeah cheese, yeah cheese. I'm with you. Cheese ham. I know you're veggie, but ham bacon ooh, bacon on crumpets imagine, like your, what do they call them?

Speaker 1 18:26

eggs benedict? Yes, instead of an English muffin on a crumpet on a crumpet, crumpets are here to stay. I'm horny, crumpet, crumpet. Call me daddy Warburton, I'm ready, I'm literally.

Speaker 2 18:39

I'm rock solid grumpets are here to stay. Actually fun story. A friend of ours uh, recently got a boyfriend. Love that for him. They are going full steam ahead. They're moving together like it's all happening for them. Love that. He is also our friend, massively into crumpets. Got the boyfriend into crumpets as well, like a crumpet before bed. When I spoke to the boyfriend the other day I was like, oh, how's it all going like enjoying living together. He's like, oh, my goodness, we have the same crumpet heat setting on our toaster.

Speaker 1 19:06

We are a match made in heaven no, I mean, I think that's a little bit too far. But that's cute, they're both cute. They share something. Yeah, I'm thrilled that you're so happy together, the two of you. I don't quite know who you're talking about, but you can tell me afterwards.

Speaker 2 19:16

You know you're in a solid relationship when you've got the same crumpet heat setting as each other.

Speaker 1 19:20

Please stop saying crumpet. I'm honestly so aroused, Okay. I'm moving on Now, just a quick one Last thing before we move on from crumpets. You can get like the regular crumpets Right, and I've already sort of said which is my favourite brand.

Speaker 2 19:31

They don't fall for it, not the same.

Speaker 1 19:36

No one's toaster is built for that delicious crumpet. So, it doesn't toast right. You have to put it in one side and then turn it and then it goes cold the other side. If any true crumpeter will know that once you have to get it to the perfect crumpet setting in their toaster and then eat it straight away. You have to butter, it almost immediately melt into the tiny little holes. Yes, oh, my goodness, I'm so hungry. God bless the zen pic.

Speaker 1 20:04

So, brit, brit, brit, brit brit, brit okay, and if anyone works for any major uk crumpet factory, please. I don't even want freebies, I want a tour I want a tour of your crumpet factory.

Speaker 2 20:15

Please love it. Oh my god, okay.

Speaker 1 20:17

Next question, the royal family bit controversial bit controversial, so something that you might not know. If you're ready for this, fun fact is I actually am related to the royal family now you have told me this once before.

Speaker 2 20:33

Yeah, so you're gonna have to tell me again, because aren't you some sort of cousin or something?

Speaker 1 20:37

yeah, so I don't normally talk about it because a it means nothing, I'm never invited to anything and I don't know really how I feel about the royal family, if I'm honest with you. But yeah, it is a direct bloodline and the best way to think about it is either the current king is my mum's 22nd cousin.

Speaker 2 20:52

So you're the 23rd cousin of the king?

Speaker 1 20:55

I don't know if it works quite like that, but something like that. But going further back, king John was my 24th great-great-grandfather, king.

Speaker 2 21:04

John, is that like Robin Hood era?

Speaker 1 21:07

I don't know I can't answer these questions. All I know is what I've been told. I've been related to a few different of the kings, even like back to like Macbeth.

Speaker 2 21:17

Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 21:17

Yeah, historical, historical, hence the ginger hair.

Speaker 2 21:20

That makes total sense. Yeah, so you didn't get an invite to the coronation.

Speaker 1 21:24

No, I actually said to mum. I was like, why are we not invited to any sort of weddings? And like most people have already twigged back at home, 22nd cousin is that's a lot of people.

Speaker 2 21:33

That's like thousands and thousands of people.

Cultural Critiques

Speaker 1 21:40

Like it's not. Like we're on their christmas amazon wish list, right, do you mean? But, um, so I am related to the royal family. Do I believe in the royal family? I'm split. Do I believe that they bring good to the country? Yes, I do. I know how much money they make right, the tourism yeah the tourism is humongous.

Speaker 1 21:55

Do I think that they do enough for how, how much money they get? I know they they do an awful lot, but for that amount of money I don't know. Like, haven't they just raised king charles's grant by like?

Speaker 2 22:06

oh yeah, 40 million or something. Yeah, 24 million, 40 minutes. Yeah, they get like a yearly income, don't they?

Speaker 1 22:11

it's all tax-free, no tax paid on it, and I know they have a lot of things to expend it on. They have beautiful palaces and stuff to upkeep, but cost of living crisis, hun, I can't I can't, I can't afford an avocado.

Speaker 2 22:27

Yeah, just the crumpet, just the grumpet so you didn't say brit or quick.

Speaker 1 22:31

I think you're in the middle, you've got to pick one. I I'm gonna go brit, but I feel like we need to make changes.

Speaker 2 22:34

Okay, brit, but some changes to be made I feel like we're better with them than without them sure, but I think I agree. I think things need to change cool, I'm on the same page as you, yeah.

Speaker 1 22:42

I don't want Anastasia. You know like when the royal family is like all kicked out their palace and it's empty and she stands there in the snow with her hat, with a spotlight on her, and sings heart can't fail me now. Thank you next.

Speaker 2 22:58

Okay, so next one on the Brittle Quick Questions Football Quit.

Speaker 1 23:04

Quit, and I refuse to allow us to accept the fact that football is part of our culture. Now, did we invent football? Yes, we did. We did in the war.

Speaker 2 23:14

We did and I get it Before the war. It's been going on for ages.

Speaker 1 23:17

No, darling Honey, Honey, honey, honey, honey. Years in the making Baby Before the war. It's been going on for ages. No, darling Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. Years in the making Baby.

Speaker 2 23:24

They paid it in the war Baby Honey, honey, honey, honey. You think we invented it in the war? Yes, lies Before Hundreds and hundreds of years.

Speaker 1 23:37

Podcasters, we're going to take a very quick break so we can both hop onto Google and so go fill up your drinks, grab a cup of tea, pop that crumpet in that toaster and we'll be back in 30 seconds.

Speaker 2 23:50

Podcasters. We've done a bit of Googling and you will never ever guess who is correct on this situation. I can't believe it. I quit Me. I was correct. I'm leaving.

Speaker 1 24:00

Get on this situation. I can't believe it. I quit Me. I was correct, I'm leaving. Get my bag, get that door, get that fire exit door. I'm off. Where's the producer?

Speaker 2 24:07

I knew it. I knew it Because you are right. In World War I, they stopped fighting each other, didn't they? The English and the Germans? To play a game of football on Christmas Day? Right, fine, I'll sit back down again, right, exactly. So obviously it's got to have been invented before then. To play, it was actually invented in 1863. Fun fact, oh my God, look at the podcast being educational and historical. Come on Google.

Speaker 1 24:28

Okay, so it's still a quit for me. Still a quit. Yeah, Did you know that? What was the big competition we just had?

Speaker 2 24:35

The Euros the Euros England, were in the final. I actually went and watched the final. Can't believe it.

Speaker 1 24:38

I actually did watch that as well did you yeah, but I don't feel like I can talk about this in a fun setting with the facts. I was about to spit with these rams, I was about to cut bomb did you not enjoy.

Speaker 1 24:48

It no right. First of all I want to say that I disagree with football so much I With where the money goes, with the sponsorships, the endorsements, all of it. I also completely more than just the sport itself, because I really appreciate that the sport doesn't hold all the responsibility of this, but what it does to people and what it does to domestic violence is horrific. Now I read some stats that said I forgot which charity body it was. I will try to find out which one it was for the next episode. But they said like if England win a match, domestic violence goes up X percent, and it was a lot. It was like in the 20 percent.

Speaker 1 25:27

And if they lose it goes up like double. That, yeah, I can imagine. I cannot believe that we still allow a sport that is so glorified to be thrust into the media to encourage this sort of behavior and we're not doing enough about it. Now I know that somewhere I want to say Germany. Where was the final?

Speaker 2 25:44

The final was held. Was it Italy? Might have been Italy. No, no Spain. Well, wherever it was, held.

Speaker 1 25:50

I know that they were trying to do alcohol free, right, they were trying to ban alcohol.

Speaker 2 25:55

Because the other thing about Brits we love to drink, that's like a just not just gays. All Brits love drinking.

Speaker 1 25:59

But I think football in general very drink culture. And you win, you throw your drinks and then you just buy another one. You carry on going and you drink more and more and more and more and more and then these drunk, hyped up partners end up going home to their other partners and just awful things happen. So I can never get on board with football.

Speaker 1 26:19

I really can't. I respect as a sport. I certainly couldn't do it. I can't even run for the bus, let alone huff her down a football pitch, but I could never stand by football. Sure, however, just going to flip it on its head ever so slightly and say that Men in the football kit. Oh, my Christ Love it.

Speaker 2 26:35

If I were to have a fetish, it would be a man in a football kit.

Speaker 1 26:38

I was wearing my football kit earlier on.

Speaker 2 26:40

That's a lie.

Speaker 1 26:41

I wasn't wearing a football kit, but they looked football-esque.

Speaker 2 26:44

They were the most bottom-of-bottom shorts I've ever seen in my life, and Benji is embracing his bottom era.

Speaker 1 26:49

Okay, I'm not a bottom, I'm not a Benji's middle era, but was I wearing them, bending forward and Twerking you?

Speaker 2 26:55

were like do I look like a bottom like this? And you twerked in your kitchen in your football shorts.

Speaker 1 26:59

And I saw you looking and I said I'm going to wear them out tonight and you're like yeah, do it. I was like, oh, I know what she wants Anyway. So I know that's quite a juxtaposition. I'm not making light of the facts. I just spit out at all, but yes, obviously as a single gay man watching these very athletic, sexy, well-groomed men.

Speaker 2 27:22

I think it's the long socks. I like the long socks on the guys. It's the shorts, the shorts and the bums.

Speaker 1 27:26

They've got good bums, such good bums, and then they like fight and push each other over and they cry and I want to go cradle them Shh shh shh shh shh, shh, shh, shh, shh shh shh shh Bam bam, bam. Yeah, so Trash. How do we ever cost a living crisis when people spend thousands on football tickets and then alcohol and it's too much, too much.

Speaker 2 27:52

Okay, final one of Brit or Queer, let's go. I feel like I know the answer to this, but I'm going to ask anyway. The X Factor.

Speaker 1 27:58

Oh, is that still going? I don't. A key moment, especially for us, us millennials. We grew up with this sorry, who are you?

Speaker 2 28:10

do you remember that? Yes, with Danny McNally, oh my goodness. Yes, with Danny McNally. With Natalie Imbruglia yes, yes the singing was not great girls. Who are you sorry? Who are you now? What the X Factor gave us was lots of cultural iconic moments.

Speaker 1 28:26

Yeah, a lot of drag queens use them to this day, yeah, in their cutaways. Yeah, do you remember the one between? Was it Ronan Keating? And who was the other judge Talisa?

Speaker 2 28:35

oh, gary Barlow, and he was like, oh my god, the faggash breath.

Speaker 1 28:38

Yeah, I can smell your faggash breath yeah, yeah, yeah and then she tried to alcoholic yeah I was really here for the job loved it, you do the same thing over and over again with him.

Speaker 2 28:47

It's not working so, lisa, I don't know what's offended me more what you've said or the faggish breath. And also remember when the two friends like started fighting and sheryl was like oh my god, she just got hit in the face.

Speaker 1 29:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the same one that said sorry, who are you? That's why she punched her. Oh, my goodness, actually, yes, I'm so here for it. So, brit, I'm gonna say Brit, although I know it's all over the world, but I'm gonna say Brit, I think it's done, it's time. Oh yeah, I think it's time we've had enough like you and the perm. It's been done. We've all seen it. There's nothing else we can get from it. It's time to move on.

Speaker 2 29:23

Yeah, yeah but as the in the in the time period that we grew up, brit right so, brit, I remember my social calendar was saturday night.

Speaker 1 29:30

We're going to watch x factor, get pizzas in with my girlfriend and my best man wow how long are we going back in time and my best mates, one of which, so my best mate, and then his girlfriend at the time. She's now married to somebody else and he is also now gay love that she actually listens to the podcast. Oh wow, it's a out to you, darling, if you're listening at home, which is a nice full circle moment. But yeah, we used to watch X Factor every weekend.

Speaker 2 29:52

One of my favourite moments before we wrap up this segment. Do you remember when Alexandra Burke was in the final and they get to sing crying? And she's like, oh, my goodness, can't believe I'm going about to say this. Please welcome to the stage my idol beyonce. And then beyonce walks on oh, oh yes literal goosebumps. Think about that moment right now I actually had completely forgotten that and then they're singing.

Speaker 2 30:17

Listen from dream girls. Beyonce is like riffins and belting. And alexandra burke, she's just looking at her, she's crying, she's like I can't believe I'm singing with beyonce, beyon.

Speaker 1 30:24

Beyonce just doesn't do that stuff anymore.

Speaker 2 30:26

She's too big for that now.

Speaker 1 30:27

B, I love you, but why are you not coming down a bit more to our level? Come on, why are you not coming to the podcast? Off your Swarovski horse. Come on the podcast. Babes, Make your nice coffee. That is good.

Speaker 2 30:40

TV A moment.

Speaker 1 30:41

Just one more thing before we wrap up.

Speaker 2 30:42

I know we're in the X Factor, like cultural moments, I know, although it's not about X.

Speaker 1 30:46

Factor. It's about an American TV show where they it's basically karaoke and they sing and then quite often they bring a star to come out who they start their own song and then the other people have to like pick up the karaoke right, yeah, yeah. I forgot what it's called. I'll find out. Please welcome Beyonce and the back of the stage. The whole, like wall goes up yeah into an alleyway, which is obviously where the set is dropped off, and there's like a car.

Speaker 1 31:14

Beyonce gets out the car walks onto the stage, gives you like bam, bam, yack, yack, yack. No one can see me at home. I'm absolutely in my Beyonce fantasy finishes singing, doesn't even wait for the others to carry on. Puts the light down turns around, gets back in the car, drives off the wall, comes down and afterwards they were like is she coming back? And they were like no, that was it.

Speaker 2 31:32

Iconic, amazing.

Speaker 1 31:33

Imagine.

Speaker 2 31:34

That is cunt. I don't know if we can say that, but we've said it. To go, britt. Great. Well, thank you for playing my little game thank you, britt or Brat.

Speaker 1 31:46

No, what was?

Speaker 2 31:46

it Britt or Twit Britt or Tit Twit.

Speaker 1 31:52

Twit well, your money is a Twit.

Speaker 2 31:54

Okay, we're moving on.

Speaker 1 31:55

We're moving on anyway. Come on on with the podcast well, podcasters.

Speaker 2 32:03

It's that time of the week it's time for Queer Diary. Queer Diary we used broadcasters. It's that time of the week it's time for queer diary, queer diary.

Speaker 1 32:09

We just get a new jingle, don't we? Yeah, I feel like I should have had a job in like making jingles. Um, yes, so our queer diary entry for today is hi boys, I'm looking to start dating again, but I have a really high sex drive, which is actually the reason my last relationship ended. How can I start dating again without having sex as often? Or I think it must mean like when they're starting to date someone, to begin with maybe they don't want to have sex straight away, but then they can't be committed to that person because they'll be sleeping around or that maybe what they find is they want to have sex every day and generally most people don't want that every day maybe I have no idea.

Speaker 1 32:47

Yeah, that's interesting. Well, I don't know how, what the norm is yeah, what is the norm?

Speaker 2 32:50

is there a norm? I think there is, is there?

Navigating Relationship Compatibility and Sex Drive

Speaker 1 32:52

I don't know there is. I definitely don't every day. I'm sure the people there are people that do as in, you don't want sex every day I mean want and have, I guess are very different things I definitely don't have do you have a high sex drive, really high yeah, I, I have ways of controlling it. Like I don't feel, I don't think this will be a problem for me right necessarily um, but I don't know what you would do in this situation. If you're finding it that difficult to then not be able to date.

Speaker 2 33:17

I don't know, that's a funny one so I actually have a friend of mine same situation met this guy. Everything about it was tick, tick, tick. They dated for quite some time, about a year, and they had to break it off because he was like we're just not sexually on the same page. Like my friend wanted sex all the time, like most days, and this guy was like I just physically cannot give you that. Like it's just I don't have that same urge and it's a bit of a sad breakup because they're both really into each other and they didn't want to go open either. So it's really hard when you want to date someone, you want to find someone that's on the same page as you, with lots of things right Humour, sexually personality, maybe shared hobbies and interests. It's very hard to find that one person and this does come up you know the whole sex drive thing. I think you know everyone's slightly different. I don't know what the answer is.

Speaker 1 34:11

I don't know what the answer is. I don't know what the answer is. I mean, I have been in like dating people and I think I've been on both sides actually, where maybe I've wanted more and they've been like I'm just not in the mood and vice versa, but I don't know if it should be something that then stops a relationship. I guess with your friends that's maybe a different circumstance if they've been going on for however long like up to a year.

Speaker 1 34:25

Yeah, and it's still an issue, then yes, I don't think that's going to be one that's going to be resolved. Yeah, I think early on, I think try not to really overthink it. Just enjoy spending time with that person. You're not committed to them. So, actually, if you are going on dates with them but you are, if you haven't had the discussion of like oh, we're just seeing each other or whatever, then don't worry.

Speaker 2 34:42

If you are like still on other apps and you know, playing around, and obviously that comes part of the package right when you start seeing someone. If it's going well, you probably will end up having sex at some point and exploring your sexual relationship together, and I guess that's where you can figure out if you're compatible in that way very true and I think maybe explore other ways to fulfill your needs.

Speaker 1 35:02

Let's say yes, then it involving somebody else, I think could be a good way to it's a very interesting topic. I don't know if anyone has any experience in this or has it come up in their relationship and how they overcome it.

Speaker 1 35:13

Like you said, with open relationships anyone that doesn't know what that is it's sort of when you're committed to each other but you allow each other to go and sleep with a third party, somebody else, but not together. Yeah, interesting one. I don't know what other advice we need to give on that one. If anyone listening has any advice for them, please write in and we will share it. On next week's episode absolutely.

Speaker 2 35:32

We always love to hear from you. Goodness me, what an episode we've had this week.

Speaker 1 35:37

I know quite the factual all the facts, all the facts, all the facts get them.

Speaker 2 35:42

Facts honey, cultural historical lifestyle. Football royalty.

Queer Diaries and Karaoke Mishaps

Speaker 1 35:46

Facts honey, cultural historical lifestyle football royalty, all of it, everything, all of it. I'll take the lot but podcasters, that is all we have time from this week's episode of my big gay podcast. If you have enjoyed it, please head over to my Instagram or our TikTok and give us a follow.

Speaker 2 35:58

It is at big gay podcast and, of course, slip into the DM so that we can get your messages, messages. We want to hear your queer diaries, any fun stories, facts, advice, tips, whatever, we'll take the lot whatever it is, it's right and we'd love to hear from you.

Speaker 1 36:10

But, like I said, that is all we have time for in this week's episode.

Speaker 2 36:12

Until next time, see you next wednesday, we was in sync then were we yeah, I felt like we hit the same pitch.

Speaker 1 36:20

That's very rare very rare, since you singing sounds like a bag of cats being like right and I fully agree with you on that one.

Speaker 2 36:28

Have you heard me do karaoke once?

Speaker 1 36:30

don't make me sing you broke the microphone, so there was no singing for anybody after you I've just seen that meme of celine dion where she's like I will sing yeah that's me.

Speaker 2 36:38

I will sing again that's me at karaoke, when you take the mic away from me yeah, and you get out your own microphone, I will sing, oh I'll sing again I'll sing again. I'll sing again. That's for sure, thank you.