Level the Pursuit
Level the Pursuit
Giving Grace with Dr Stephanie Wilson
When we are focused on achieving and moving forward, we can forget to take a moment for ourselves. Today, we speak with author, educator, mom, Air Force officer, and all around badass Dr Stephanie Wilson about forgiving ourselves, being grateful for our successes, and giving ourselves a little grace.
In the race to success, we're not all starting from the same place. Level the Pursuit seeks to fill in the gaps and provide accessible bite sized leadership lessons for anyone looking to improve their skills and prepare for the next step. whatever that might be. What's up, peeps, I hope you're having an absolutely fantastic week. Last week, we had the privilege of talking to Lieutenant Nick Palczer, a firefighter turned nurse who's doing his best to bring humanity and care into his supervisory roles. This week, we have the privilege of talking to Dr. Stephanie Wilson, who is people believe me a dynamo. Not only is she a munitions maintenance officer, which basically means she's in charge of some of the most important things that we have in our country for protecting ourselves. But she's also been a commander a couple of times, which she rocked. She's a motivational speaker. She teaches leadership. She wrote a children's book, she's a wife, a mom of four amazing kids. Oh, and by the way, in her spare time, she got a doctorate in psychology, so pretty much all around badass. So it's a real privilege to have her here today. But today, we're gonna talk about her journey and some of the things she's found in the way that she views leadership and taking care of yourself first, this week, look at yourself, appreciate yourself, if there's something that you're having a hard time with, unless it's something that's illegal, immoral, unethical or unsafe. Take a break. And give yourself a little grace. Stephanie, Dr. Wilson, it is such a pleasure to have you today. Thank you so much for being here.
Dr Stephanie Wilson:Thank you for having me.
LTP:So obviously, you have an amazing background, amazing experience and so much to share, can you tell us a little bit about your background and how you came into leadership training, and how all of that has come together to where you are right now.
Dr Stephanie Wilson:So I'm happy to say I'm the daughter of military officers, both of them my parents were able to serve. And I watched them. And I watched how they lead. And I was like, I want to be in charge. Because I should be in charge of something. And those leadership skills came out as a little kid. And luckily, my parents embraced it. And so as I got older, and I started looking at how much school cost. And at the time, I wanted to be a pediatrician in the military, I wanted to take care of the children who took care of the people who took care of us. And then I had my first biochemistry class in college, and realized that maybe I should adjust that dream. Because that was not my forte. But I still loved leading, and I love science. And I love thinking kind of in that way. I was assigned my career field in the military, I did not really get to pick it. And I was grumpy. I was show grumpy because I believe in supporting the trades, because I don't maintain and fix things. And so when the stuff came that I was now in charge of maintainers. All I could think of was You dirty oil, oh, this is gonna be horrible. But it actually fed my leadership abilities. Because as the officer side, I'm not really the Dewar, I'm the one that makes sure that all of those people are taken care of. They've got the stuff they need to do that I can answer the questions they need answered while they're taking care of business day by day. And I loved it because it fed my inquisitive mind cuz I got to be nosy. I have to know what all the different places around bass do in order to help my peeps. And that moment, that first moment where what you say makes a difference in someone's life. That was the rush. And so I fed into that, and leaned into it or all the other words that we could possibly use and went and got my doctorate in organizational leadership. And I wanted to focus in on change. To me, things only change through dream, or disaster. And I wanted more things to change via dream, and to make it more deliberate and logical, and lead in a way that we could dream that we could prevent disaster. And so that's kind of how I got to where I am today.
LTP:That's awesome. I gotta say you have a wonderful husband and four children and you balanced that while working and getting a doctorate. That's pretty amazing. I mean, how many times did you want to give up? Did you ever want to get up?
Dr Stephanie Wilson:Every two weeks; every time I wanted to go take a nap and throw my hands up in the air, especially in the dissertation process. And for people who maybe haven't had what I call that academic hazing, that is the dissertation process. It can take a lot out of you, it can take a lot to hear someone look at the thing, you research the thing that was your baby and say, Oh, baby, slightly ugly. You need to go back and review that a little more. Have you thought about it this way, or I would do it this way. But to me, that's part of gaining confidence and saying, Thank you for your opinion. I did it this way. And this way will work. So the process does work a bit and making sure that things are straight, but it is difficult, it is difficult to manage. I have to thank my husband for definitely supporting my crazy dreams. And he was the first one I think to my dissertation.
LTP:Nice. Did you have to learn that? You so you just said something really fantastic of accepting that criticism, internalizing it using it, but then saying, No, you know what, what I, I've given it thought and what I've done is actually what I want to do. Did you have to learn that? Or did you Have you always been able to balance accepting criticism with going because some people when they accept when they learn to accept criticism, they take it without thinking about it? They're like, Okay, I have to change everything. And it can be a little bit of a journey to learn which parts you can fight for, and which parts, you have to say, Okay, yeah, they're right, I need to change it. Did you have to learn that? Or was that something you always knew how to do?
Dr Stephanie Wilson:Oh, I had to learn it. Mary, Mary, this was not something that 18 to 19 year old me at all I would, if you gave me criticism, I would go into my bubble of let me rethink my entire life plan, because evidently, this is not it. But as I have aged up, and gotten a little more experience, I have learned to be as critical thinking about criticism, as I am at thinking about other things in my life. What is it? Well, first, who did I get this feedback from? do I care? And then also thinking, How can I take in what they say, and make me better for the next person who meets me because sometimes even the do I care and who is this from might be just what you were putting off that day because of different things that were going on. And I have to accept that. But I don't have to own it as it being my character. I can't say that that was a one off. It's not the foundation of me, as long as I don't make it a pattern. So I had to learn that it's takes. And it's continuing to take time for me to do so. But I can say that's one thing with age that has made me I think better, and a better leader and a better mom, because I've learned to say no to some things. And yes,to others.
LTP:That's awesome. I so I started out the opposite place. And you know, I have an episode on learning from hypocrites and kind of understanding Do I really care what this person thinks, but I was the opposite growing up, you know, like, this person doesn't know anything. They screw them like having to do it. Oh, you know, the bosses I had. So then the pendulum swung where you get beat down, and you take everything as personal and apparently I'm terrible. I'm the worst ever. And I need to change everything. And I've just recently been able to go back that I'm pretty good the way I am. I can definitely get better. And I have some edges I can smooth but I don't have to change every part of my personality because someone might not like it.
Dr Stephanie Wilson:Exactly.
LTP:And I that's a big, you know, that's a big journey. For me. It was it is for everybody.
Dr Stephanie Wilson:Same it's a big journey for me, too, Mary.
LTP:So you in going through those ups and downs. You had to have obviously, you've had some amazing successes, but you've had some failures. So how did you approach those did? I mean, did you find that we talked about wanting to give up? But how did you get over those hurdles?
Dr Stephanie Wilson:I have to go back to advice from my parents. My mom was one of the people I'm very fortunate to have a very passionate and opinionated mom, who is my biggest cheerleader, but also will critique if necessary. And she reminded me that it's okay to have the pity party. Put the streamers up, get balloons, eat the cake, have the pity party, get it out. But then put everything else away and get to work. And so to me, that was an acknowledgment of that emotion, that feeling. It's totally fine and it's mine. And so when I really started having those low moments, and you're right I've had I've had many. I recall, when I was pregnant with my second child, I was in Colorado Springs. And I was parked outside the house, me and my husband had just bought. And I started getting the announcements from my friends who were getting their white coats, and had it off to, to pursue their medical future. And I sat there, and I burst out crying, because I was not in a job I liked. So I thought I was not where I thought I would be. So I thought, and I saw my friends having the dream I'd worked so hard to try to obtain, but it wasn't for me. And still, I had my pity party. And I had to realize it wasn't the road I was meant to take. And that's okay. Because the road that I'm on, has gifted me with so much. But in those low moments, I think you have to own or let's just say more than the dream that you thought you might have, in order for you to get over it to celebrate the dream you do you have. And I think that's natural. I think so many people try to fight that and don't give themselves the grace in that. And it causes so much jealousy, it causes a lot of constant internal consternation, and you're not able to truly see, and I'm going to use this word, the blessings that have come from the road that you're on, or the blessing that you have been to others because you were on that road. So acknowledging that emotion, and just reveling in it for a little while, and then packing up my streamers in the balloons and getting getting on with life. And knowing if there's a true change I want to make, I have to be the one to do it.
LTP:That's a great point. Um, I remember, you know, in medical school, you have to take these step exams, they're huge, big tests, right. And so you take the first one after your second year, and then you take the second one after your third year, and then you take the last part in order to license the physician United States after your intern year. So the first year actually, I think they're talking about getting away with getting away from these tests, because of the impact of standardized testing on diversity and all that. But um, but at the time, it was a huge deal, huge deal. And doing well on step one was a huge discriminator in some of the more competitive specialties. And I tanked it, I did terribly. And I convinced myself that my grades were not that great because I was working. And most people don't work in that school. That's nothing. And so I convinced myself that I was doing fine. I was doing everything I could, my grades were just that's just not it's just not feasible to do better. But I'm a very good standardized test taker. And so when I did poorly on the test, I barely passed it. I was like, okay, it helped me realize I'm actually not doing everything I could because I was doing everything I could and the grades were crappy, but I did good testing, then I know that I'm actually internalizing, it's just I can't keep up with the workload with the job. But I didn't. And I did so poorly that I was pretty sure it made the opportunity for me to go into orthopedics incredibly far away. So the day I got those results, we were out with friends. And one of my closest friends comes up to me so excited that she's going she's decided she's going to become a nurse which is awesome. And I did not react appropriately to her I was not excited enough for her because I was carrying this fear for my future this disappointed in myself all this stuff. And she let me have it about what a terrible and and that was one of those moments that you know, the fact that I internalize things I hadn't shared my disappointment with anyone. And I hadn't. I wasn't I was I'm not a very you know, I'm an outgoing obviously, you know me I'm allowed an outgoing person, but not about everything. Like I control which things I talk about. And so it was one of those things that it really hit me that I didn't get a chance to grieve my my disappointment and my my fear for my future. And then I was taking it from someone else harder. And so so I wonder, have you dealt with that where you want to have your pity party and yet you know, you have to deal with keeping someone else happy or someone else's disappointment or just dealing with someone else's emotions. Have you found yourself in that situation?
Dr Stephanie Wilson:Oh, Mary. So I find it interesting in those that have no gone through the military promotion system, I will give a brief explanation of that joy and pain that can occur on the same day. So at certain ranks, you get selected for the next rank, but also selected for school. And so while you're super excited that you have been selected to go up in rank, you also get this other little burn, or at least Stephanie Wilson did. Oh, but you're not good enough, on this same day to go off to the next level of military education. And so you watch some people, so people who get those opportunities, and you think to yourself, who is on these boards? Did they not see the fabulousness that is I and what I was able to get done? What is wrong with you people, but then you feel guilty on the other side of but I'm being promoted? And it's not like it's a one shot opportunity? You know, who are you behead, get your life, right? But you're sitting there, and they pre brief those who don't make don't make any of those promotions. But they don't pre brief those that don't make school. And so you're sitting with all this celebratory information. But it's not, as I'm using air quotes that your listeners can't see, as celebratory as those who got both. And you want to be so happy for them. But sometimes, and I think it's natural, or at least it was natural for me. So pardon me for being jealous having that green eyed monster and being jealous to be, well, what did I miss? What meeting what, what job, because I try to remind people that when we say do the best job in the job you're in, I'm doing the best job in the job you gave me. And so I can't be a killer pilot, cuz that's not my job. I can't be this person over here saving fantastic lives and medical, that's not my job. My job was to take this paper from 900 pages and dissect it down to 10. And then one so that budgets could be determined, and people could understand what we do. And if I did my job, well, money showed up for our airmen for our mission. And so I had to relearn where I found my joy. Did I find my joy on the day those lists came out? Yes, I did find some joy in that Not gonna lie. But what would was what would sustain me was the fact that because of my work, this was able to occur. And I had to lean on that. And those moments where that green eyed monster was just sitting on my shoulder like, Girl, you see him over there, all excited.
LTP:And he ain't even that smart.
Dr Stephanie Wilson:Right? That could have been you, if you just if you just blank. And whatever that blank is, if you just blank what is that blank for people? To me, I believe that my family needs to come high up on the list. I don't always demonstrate that. I don't always do it. But I try really hard. And as I've gotten older that saying no thing has gotten a lot easier. As I am respecting my time and myself. And I'm giving myself grace, as I am pursuing excellence. Where some days I do just want to sit on the couch and veg out. Some days, I'm going to go for that run. I'm going to eat wonderfully. I'm going to drink the water. I'll have days and days and days of just being present physically and mentally. And everything is going great. And then day eight will show up and it's all you need a nap. All that excellence has sucked all of Stephanie away. And I have to come back and recenter myself and give myself permission to do it. And with that has come a lot more comfort in other people's success because I'm looking at success a little bit differently.
LTP:That's freaking awesome. You. When I was after my first year in command, I went to meet with the Wing Commander to just see how I was doing. I wasn't worried. Got the strap, I wasn't worried about school. And so I mean, that sounds gonna happen or it wasn't like whatever. But I just wanted to know like, what, what can I do better? What am I? What is my Squadron doing for the wing? that we could do better? What are we not doing that we should be doing? What are we doing that we shouldn't, you know, that kind of thing like what? And in a nutshell, the feedback or feedback was you're doing fine, like nothing to change. And I mean, clearly, clearly, we can, we can all get better. But that was not helpful at all. Because a lot, it goes a lot to what you're saying I was doing the job I was given. So you can do your absolute best. And if you know, my husband, Chris at the time was, he was also in command doing his absolute best. But his squadron has 500 and my Squadron has 130. More More than likely, he's always going to be better than me on that scale. If even if we're absolutely equal, his squadron is three times the size of mine. There's no comparison, right? But that's, but that's what I have. So I can only do it. And so I like your idea of focusing on those other things. Because there are circumstances where you are doing everything possible with what you're given. And you're doing well. But the system is just it's all all positions, and all squadrons and all jobs are not created equal. So you can be the best you the best in your field, you've everything and still not attain whatever goal that you have arbitrarily picked for yourself or decided that is irrelevant, you know. So I think that that finding that purpose in other ways, is and I and I did the same thing. I had to find that other thing as well. And again, not worried about the numbers, but worried about being the best I could and not really sure how to do that without without comparing like, how do you?
Dr Stephanie Wilson:A comparison is the thief of joy. Right? We've heard that quote before, I think comparison is the thief of joy. And so you have to be it's normal. It's a normal human thing, I think. And I look to as a mom of four kids, and I watch how I present rules and punishment. Because that's how we roll in this house that I can't look for things to be equal, I have to look for parody. And so I'm really working with my kiddos to stink to themselves. parody, right? Because I remember in high school getting grumpy, because a young lady who had a kid and a lower GPA, got a lot more scholarship money from an organization than myself with like a four point whatever. I didn't have a kiddo I you know, I was charged charging and president vice president and the wing, you know, cadet Wing Commander and my little j rod c unit, you know, tell me nothing. And I remember being sat down saying you can't look at it as an equitable distribution. Because it's not fair. Where this individual is coming from, it's not the same place you're coming from. They have a greater need at this point in time, then you ever will. And it was like, oh, my goodness girl. How dare you? Not how did I miss that I missed it because I was looking for equality when I should have been looking for parody. And sometimes we get those mixed up and it steals our joy, it steals the joy of what we are being able to accomplish and get done. Now, I'm not saying that some systems aren't set up to make that more difficult at times. But what I am saying is sometimes we have to take a step back and wonder if the problem the relation in the relationship is truly us. And how we are looking at the situation. And even how we approach it mentally, physically, emotionally, and how that is being pushed out to others. Because if we have that in our head, and and Mary we've met I talked with my face, don't ever play poker with me. Listeners Don't ever do it.
LTP:No, you should because we want all your money.
Dr Stephanie Wilson:All my money. Gone. Exactly. And you have to be careful with that. Because for me, I would hate to have to put a mask on every time I came into work. That's not what we need, especially in this environment where we want to be inclusive, and we want people to belong. And we want work to be a healthy place for individuals to want to bring their best. Because sometimes work is the safest place for some people. Unfortunately, just like school is sometimes the safest place for some of our children. The YMCA might be different safest place for them after school and all of those different things. These organizations should be mentally healthy, with an established structure in which you can move up and down. How can you offer yourself grace in a system that doesn't see you with grace? That's where equality versus parody comes into play to me?
LTP:I can, I can definitely see that in talking about grace. I wonder, do you think it's harder to give yourself Grace? when other people are down on you, or when they're not? Because it seems like maybe it's personality based. But if everyone else is down on you, there can be a little bit of a defensive thing where you actually kind of stick up for yourself. But I feel like a lot of our hard chargers, you know, our high speed, low drag personalities have a harder time giving themselves grace when people are on their side or when they're not getting beat down. What do you think about that?
Dr Stephanie Wilson:I agree, the underdog philosophy of success, right? I came from the bottom of hard charging, I'm just gonna keep pushing. And look, now I've got a cheerleading squad with me. And I can't believe my mom worked three jobs took care how did all this all on their own, I can't let them down. As a minority female, I can't let the rest of us down. Heck is just being a female. I can't let the women down. People fought for this. They burned their bra. Let's go. But what I think we have to realize is, I am sure every single one of those people had to eat at some point in time. They had to go to bed, they had a laugh. And if you are holding them up as the model, they spent time with you at some point so you could learn them. So that you'd want to be like them, not just because of what you saw outside, but what they brought back and gifted you with their heart. And I think you're absolutely right. Sometimes, if you are on that staircase, that ladder to success, it is so hard to say I need to rest on this rung for a minute because it's gotten steep I need anyway, lots of water, some, some water, no, no water, I'm just going to be here alone and afraid.
LTP:Switch to wine.
Dr Stephanie Wilson:Get you some vodka or something. But if you don't rest, if you don't take that pause. When do you see the sunsets? When do you see really how high you've been able to go? When do you get to think when do you have time to thank those that are holding you up on that ladder? Or brought you that meal when you didn't have money for that meal or time? What about the hairdresser who stayed a little later, because they knew you had a presentation or graduation and made sure that you looked as flawless as you could for that great event and gifted their talent to you. If you don't give yourself grace, you have no time for that kind of reflection, even in your positive and negative responses for things. One of the books I really enjoy reading was What brought you here won't get you there. And I love the title. And because it marries so much with what my grandmother was talking about with your little red wagon. And if you had a decision to make or something you were going to carry and you came to her she's like, I don't know why you're asking me that's your wagon, you have to pull it. Very wise words. But if you don't take a second and look back at that wagon and go What am I hanging on to? If you don't make sure that it's clear of let's call it the ghosts of bosses past the goal of relationship. Then what are you doing to yourself? I have a good friend. I love her. And she lost over I think 180 pounds.
LTP:Oh wow. Good job, friend!
Dr Stephanie Wilson:Yeah, good job, friend. Lifestyle changes and looking at herself one day and saying I want to be different than what I am today. I'm fabulous. But I want to be fabulous for a lot longer. And I know in order to do that I've got to change my outward appearance and my health. And she did it quietly. And her decisions on how are hers. But I remember her telling me once when we were trying on clothes, I can't wear it. I'm a big girl. And I'm like, Where? Where, where is that, because that's not the you of this year. That might have been you 10 years ago. And so I think of that image of when you don't see yourself the way you are today, I, I struggle with that I had a major health issue a couple of years ago, as As you are aware, Mary, and some days, I look in the mirror and look at this body that's had to be stitched back together. And it's not the body that I worked so hard to get back in shape after babies. It's not the one you see in the magazines at all with all the scars, all the things. And I remember as I was kind of having my pity party, and not giving myself grace, my amazing husband looked at me and he said, Do you know where people with those scars normally are? They're not here lying next to their spouse. Every time I see those, babe, I thank God for them. Because you're here. And I think to myself, I've got to meet this person, because they look interesting. They look like they have survived something. And you should never be ashamed of showing your battle scars. But if I didn't take that time to maybe reflect and have that pity party out loud, maybe I wouldn't have gotten a little bit of cheerleading that I didn't even realize I need it in my mind. And so I think that those that are climbing and pushing and striving are the ones who most sometimes need to actually use their vacation days. to actually use time to think in the car, to put down whatever electronic or even take their electronic and put it on something that makes them laugh and feel just good about life. And have that you know that good. One of the things about babies when they have that good belly chuckle words.
LTP:You have to laugh You cannot you cannot not laugh when you hear that laugh,
Dr Stephanie Wilson:right? Do that. Do that a couple of times. And then walk past the mirror and be like, yeah, my buddies cute and cute. girls and guys look in the mirror and be like my butt is cute today. and off you go. It'll be amazing. I think let that what kind of energy that puts out in the world, and allows you to continue that climb.
LTP:So you said something just now that absolutely resonated me with me. And I don't know why it surprised me. But I never thought of it quite this way. You talked about taking time to recognize how far you've come. And I think when people talk about giving themselves grace, it's really in in the context of forgiving yourself for messing up. It's never, or at least I've never thought of it in terms of taking a moment to recognize how far you've come and taking a good look at where you are today. And being like damn, look what I did. Look what I did.
Dr Stephanie Wilson:Yeah, I think a lot of people think of grace. definitely give yourself grace when you make an error or miss day to make yourself better. But in that you need to look around, look around, look at what you've been able to accomplish. Look what you're about to accomplish. Sometimes I think the most tasty part of life is right when you're on that precipice, right when you're at that end, and it's tasty for the people watching you too, because we're like, oh, they're gonna they're gonna stick the lady. You know, they're about to make that shot. That's why everyone's breath stops as an athlete takes that basketball shot. And we just watch that ball and part of the crowd like part of the crowd like, but you don't know yet. It triggers cat. Is it alive? We go exciting, right? But if you don't take a moment whether you missed that shot, or whether you got it to say, at least I had the chance to take it. I worked my butt off to get the chance to take that shot. How cool am I? How cool are the people who let me couch surf? How cool are those friends who called me on my mess? How cool is that? ally? That ally who brought up my name and a meeting that I didn't even know took place. How cool was that? So yeah,
LTP:that is awesome. I love that. I love that. Thank you for all of that. You, you just kind of alluded to it with your last comments, but I'm thinking back to you talking about the amazing James. And you know, we joke, you joked about the pity party, I think most of us have heard the phrase and talked about it. But why don't you just said kind of maybe think of it in a different way? If it's okay, if it is a little bit of a party, you can invite a couple people, because when we think about pity party, we think about sitting on the couch with a pint of Ben and Jerry's, right, you know, like not like hiding, hiding, hiding from everybody yourself. And just, but I think having someone that you trust and love and inviting them into that party a little bit, and sharing it with them and letting them party with you a little bit and then move you out of it. I think that's so key. And I think what a blessing.
Dr Stephanie Wilson:Yeah, it's a party if you don't bring a friend at a party that. So definitely, you're absolutely right. And I'm very fortunate that I have a husband who's my friend, but I'll be very clear, he is not my best friend, because he can't be everything. To me. My best friends, I will say are really really good at calling each other in the midst of crazy craziness. And and we will say do you want me to solve or are we going to wallow in this together? And once again, it's something we've learned through almost 10 years of friendship.
LTP:You're 29 years old, right? So it's totally, totally,
Unknown:It's a totally different box if you're 29. Um, but it's something that has been learned. It's not something that I think we came to naturally I wish someone had told me, it's okay to invite a friend to my pity party. I wouldn't while have wallowed by myself, I think as long as I had as a team, I would have learned that everyone thinks their mom is crazy, I would have loved at Acme happens, everyone, I would have learned that feeling unsure and unconfident and sometimes confused, is natural and normal and doesn't go away. And 98% of us are winging it 98% of the time, and never trust statistics. So all of those things I would have learned if I had invited a friend, so that pity party earlier, I am very fortunate to have the amazing James and we met very young in my life. And so he has learned my facial expressions, or when I'm about to kind of go down a road, that's not the best for me. And I can only do it kind of behind closed doors with him. Because I don't want to model improper behavior in front of these young ones I am learning and teaching Now that's not to say that they don't get the emotions, the full emotional range of their mother. I want them to know they are powerful. And when they need to gain a recharge, that home is where they can always come. I want them to know and find beauty in themselves. I wrote a small post once where I remember distinctly being upset about my baby fat and feeling all mushy. And my friend who cannot have children said I would wish every day to be fussing about having a little extra fat because I had a baby. I looked at my daughter as she rubbed her Big Buddha belly after having a full meal. And I realized why am I fussing about bloat when I have food on my table that can fill me that and she was like I have a big full belly. And all I can think of was when do we lose that? When do we lose the love of a full belly. The love of us being a little different having those freckles. The mole I have a mole on my neck. I'm like this is weird. My husband thinks it's one of the most beautiful things. When we figure out our baby toe is I'm a runner, so I lose my baby toenail randomly. Very sexy, super hot. But it's part of what keeps me healthy. What keeps me sane, sometimes that meditation of just kind of running or cycling. And so when I look at it, I see it's the pursuit of strength. It's not it's not a defect. It's not something wrong. And so when those things when that hangnail when those things occur, why not tell a friend who might be about to fall off? I must have been running some miles. Yeah, girl, get some new sneakers. We'll see how your fast fast shoes work next week. You know, all of those things that help you feel better, is giving yourself grace. Because we are human. I know it's shocking. We're human. Not a one of us is perfect. I'll probably go downstairs and say something inappropriate in front of my kids and about 1520 minutes. I remind myself, I am helping therapists get their money later on in life. So if you can't Yeah, I mean, it's already paying for it board. Yeah. So. But all of that is just grace. And we have to allow ourselves space for that. And if we can bring a buddy so that we are not, because we're not alone in this ever. We're not alone in this.
LTP:I love that stuff. So last question. If you could give advice to 17 year old Stephanie, looking forward to this amazing life of munitions maintenance. What advice would you give?
Unknown:I gave her two pieces of advice. The first one: wear the short skirt. Wear that skirt girl. The second one? It'll be okay. Relax. It'll be okay. Because I don't think 17 year old me truly appreciated the precipice of where she was, and how strong she was. Yeah.
LTP:I love it stuff. Thank you so much for being with me today. I really enjoyed our conversation. And I hope you'll come back.
Dr Stephanie Wilson:Anytime. Anytime. Thank you, Mary.
LTP:So peeps, I know you've all been kicking butt doing great things and pushing forward every day. But this week, take a breather. Take some time to think about all of the things that you've accomplished and to be grateful for the opportunities you've had. If there are things you're working on, you don't have to give up completely. But don't beat yourself up. If you have a setback here and there. Give yourself a break and understand that all good habits take time. But it's okay if you fall off now. And then forgive yourself for things that you've done to yourself and things you've done to others. We all make mistakes, and we're all growing and learning. And finally, as you look at everything that you're trying to accomplish, and all the great things you've already done, give yourself a little. So that's been our discussion of giving yourself grace with Dr. Stephanie Wilson. I hope you enjoyed the discussion. If you did, please give it a LIKE, SUBSCRIBE or share with a friend. If not, please drop me a note on what I could do better. Don't forget to take some time this week to give yourself some grace. And if you have something you'd like to share, head over to www dot level the pursuit comm and share your insights and your successes. I can't wait to learn from your thoughts. Thanks again for joining level the pursuit. Well, we can't choose where we start. We can choose our dreams and how we pursue them. Remember, success is a team sport and there's room for all of us to achieve our goals. So be a good leader. Be a good follower and Do Something Great