Along the Gravel Road Podcast
Welcome to the Along the Gravel Road Podcast where we’re changing the conversation around mental health. As a You Aren’t Alone Project non-profit initiative, the goal of the podcast is to provide a safe platform for people to share their stories and give others a sense of hope and connection.
With guests ranging from individuals who are open and willing to share their own mental health journeys to mental health professionals to share expertise and advice.
Trigger warning: Some topics discussed in these episodes may be difficult for listeners to hear. If you are feeling triggered by a topic, we encourage you to listen when you are in a better space, or with someone you trust.
Unless otherwise stated, topics discussed are based on personal experiences, not professional advice, and should not be considered an alternative to seeking support from a mental health professional when needed. Additional resources will be provided in the show notes of each episode.
Along the Gravel Road Podcast
Poetry, Mindfulness, and Mental Health with Alf
Ever wondered how a passion for poetry can spark in the most unexpected places? That's exactly what happened to Alf, a communication and new media student at Universidad del Claustro de Sor Juana. In this episode, Alf takes us on a journey through his world, sharing how influential thinkers like Judith Butler and Carlos Scolari have shaped his views on art, psychology, and human rights. Alf's story is all about staying true to yourself and using poetry as a powerful way to express your authentic self in a world full of masks.
Poetry isn’t just about flowery language or abstract ideas—it’s a way to understand and connect with others on a deeper level. We explore how poetry can be therapeutic, helping with personal growth and building stronger relationships. Alf shares a bilingual poem that highlights how the essence of writing goes beyond appearances, much like the difference between online personas and real-life connections. This episode reminds us of the value of genuine relationships, the importance of being present, and the power of authenticity.
We also dive into topics like mindfulness, mental health, and how therapy is evolving in Mexico. Alf opens up about the generational shifts in attitudes towards therapy and the importance of finding what works best for you. We discuss how tools like ChatGPT are being used in education and the need to keep innovating. As we reflect on the beauty of life's fleeting moments, we emphasize cherishing the small details, avoiding toxic positivity, and truly enjoying the present. Join us for a heartfelt conversation filled with insights on personal growth, staying true to yourself, and living in the moment.
Follow along at instagram.com/youarentaloneproject or learn more at youarentaloneproject.com.
Okay, so I have to do my spiel to the camera first and then I'll move on. That's good. Welcome to the Along the Gravel Road podcast. I'm your host Chelsea. Barona, and today's guest is actually live, not live. Actually, this is going to be pre-recorded, but I am live right now in Mexico City with. Alf.
Speaker 1:Hey, what's up and he is going to share a bit of his story with us today, and it's been really exciting to get to know him and some of the other folks here in Mexico City. It's been just a wonderful trip and this certainly won't be the last time that we chat, okay yeah that's right, you, you leave today right, I leave today. Yeah, I leave at 2. Go to.
Speaker 2:Oaxaca, oh yeah, puerto Escondido, right.
Speaker 1:Oaxaca city first and then Puerto. Escondido. Okay, that's good. I can't wait to be on the beach though.
Speaker 2:Well, I've never been in Oaxaca. No. But I've been in the south of the country, like Campeche, yucatan.
Speaker 1:Oh, uh huh, the country like Campeche, yucatan. Oh, uh-huh yeah, I just want water and a beach and sand. All right, so enough about me, tell me, tell me a little bit about yourself, um, and then we'll kind of just go from there.
Speaker 2:Okay, um, my name is Alf, I'm studying communication and new media and I'm studying in the University of the Closed Roads, sor Juana. Sor Juana used to be a poet in the 16th century, I think. And, yeah, the university has all the classes about humanism and about these movements social movements we are like taking in consideration every day, like about how to be sensible and treat people with kindness, kind of what Harry Styles said.
Speaker 1:yeah, that's great. I actually did not know that. Yeah, okay, very cool. So tell us a little bit more about I mean, if you want to talk about, like, how that's showing up like in your life right now, how you're using some of those things, or just a little bit more about yourself and kind of some of the stuff you've been through.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, I didn't know about the cloister of Sor Juana until I wanted to go to the university. So that was a fact, because I didn't know about the context of the university until I started the university. So my first day was like talking about Judith Butler, talking about, I don't know, carlos Escolari that are scientific or I don't know people, philosophers.
Speaker 2:Philosophers, specialists the word is specialists about the subjects that they, ah, okay, about the subjects that they, and in the school it's very important. So, I don't know, I started learning about more authors and that's the fact that I start blow, minding about the huge universe of knowing about art, about psychology, communications, and about psychology, communications and rights, human rights, and how to start looking at the other and be like empatico, like empathic. Yeah, so I started writing like poems these last two months, I think. Yeah, this last month I started writing poems, but I also start like reading poems, like a lot, since I don't know six months ago, and that was good, because some subjects that I take in the university are the opposite about poems, but the poems are like the main point or of something that we are talking about. For example, we have something called in Spanish I don't know how to say it, but it's like las fachadas, like the mask of urban government and it says that everyone needs like a mask in social media.
Speaker 2:But sometimes we have like this tunnel or like this yeah, about how it infiltrates something that you have in your essence. So that's the poems. That's how you can read poems. That's how can you read a movie like watching the movie and you said like, oh, this has sense in my life, right then.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I stopped writing and I realized that it was like so calm and keep calm and start writing poems it was like a hobby and now it's like a therapy for me because I think that it will be like really comfortable for myself also because my contacts in the university, in my relationship with my friends, talking about the little details that I see in the big mask that I see in life- yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1:I love the way you explain it too, because I think for some people, poetry is like explain it too, because I think for some people, poetry is like no, it's it doesn't make sense, or it's just like a bunch of words, or it's it's really romantic, or it's like it's emotions and feelings that are hard to sometimes connect with when they're written in that way for some people, um, but the way that you describe it and how you know how important it is to look at it and see it in a larger context, like even older poems that probably yeah, they don't read like they would today doesn't make it to the sense.
Speaker 1:But if you can look at it from you, know their point of view and start to connect with it in some way and see a little bit of that essence you said, you can really use that to to learn and to kind of see um the world in a little bit of a different way, which seems like it's been really impactful for you, and I've heard a few of your poems so I know it has, because there's something about the way that you write and even the way that you deliver your poems to where it does like you can feel something, and that's what that's a lot of.
Speaker 1:What we do, too, with the non-profit is learning is just sharing experiences and stories and emotions through the lens of some sort of art medium and the way that people have been able to like connect with each other through that, but then also the way that you can use things like art and poetry and all of all of that in communications to make a difference, like to for activism and to start actually changing some things you know about the world and our sort of lack of humanity that we're seeing right now.
Speaker 1:Okay, I think this might be a good time if you want to read one of your poems, and then we can kind of talk about the process of you. Yeah, In Spanish Español.
Speaker 2:Okay, en esta revolución de la caligrafía amorosa, nuestras letras no pelean por ver quiénes son las más bonitas. Pelean por ser entendidas con la misma comprensión y amor con las que fueron escritas. They don't fight to see who are the most beautiful. They fight to be understood with the love that they were writing. So, yeah, that's wonderful. It's because I started talking with a person and she said like, oh, my handwriting is awful, I think that it's awful, and your handwriting, my handwriting, it's really cute, really cute. So I'm sorry, but this is my letter, and I was like no, I don't think that it's a revolution of calligraphy or handwriting. It's about about the message that it's in the letter.
Speaker 2:So that little details, that's what I was talking about the like, the face that we have on Facebook, instagram, whatever it's not the same that we have in person, like face to face. The little details comes and comes a lot. So I don't know, I'm start feeling like so sensible, so in touch of everything, and I was writing about this, about the little details, about the chat that we have, about the things that we always talk about but we never talk deeply about, for example, dead, for example, I don't know seeing how, uh, flowers start growing in the, in the grass, and we see it like every day, but it's not like something that we pay attention every day it's just, yeah, we just pass it by that just happened or I don't know, the fact that they are building a, build a tower or whatever, a monument, and the process is to see how they start making it into the city, into the people, into the society, you know.
Speaker 2:So I don't know. I used to uh hate the philosophy and about these things that it was like oh my god, just but no it's just to look at the details yeah, no, and and so this is what you're describing.
Speaker 1:Is also in like psychology or wellness, is mindfulness yeah you the way that you're paying attention and recognizing the little details. It's stopping you your thoughts, all this other mess that's going through our heads all the time, and it's sort of grounding you in what's happening in the moment, and most of the time we're so busy on our phones or like running to the next thing. I'm guilty of it, like I've been've been trying to you know, be and notice things here.
Speaker 2:But even here is I'm like in such a like special place and all these experiences are so special I've so much of it has kind of just passed me by definitely also the fact that I don't know not so many people like stop everything just to look at something, and I don't know the fact that they don't look at anyone else or even the people that they look like every day. It's like dangerous right, because we aren't chatting, like working each other or whatever. We don't have the kindness of treating other people as they treat us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, you miss that. You start to only worry and focus on and have respect for the things that are in your. You know that are part of your world.
Speaker 1:Also I think that it's capitalism right yeah we were yes, I'm not saying, it's not our fault necessarily like we've been conditioned to think this way and it's just gonna, but it take now. It's like now it is our responsibility to make that shift. What is it? And you said you just started writing poetry recently and reading it semi-recently too. What is that like shift been like for you, the change that you like from before, before you were able, were you still noticing things or did you like make more intention?
Speaker 2:I started noticing things like I don't know, for example, a fight or seeing a fight, like oh, that hurts because that's happening, and in the other part I'm happy, like the word is so in everywhere. Yeah so I don't know. It's the fact that it's happening like everything in the same in the same moment.
Speaker 2:So I was meaning about capitalism that the capitalism don't let us to feel like we are so in fast mood, like I have to go to work to university, my couple, my friends, blah, blah, blah, influencer blah. So it's like kind of hard to get focused on something. And when we just stop, like when we have the day off, we start looking at things. For example, yesterday night it was raining. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I was fighting. Well, I was like having an argument and it was like oh my god, it's raining, but also it's raining and I'm like having an argument, but also, is this the nature calling the sadness of this moment? I don't know.
Speaker 1:It's like it's a I. It's kind of incredible once you like start to notice the things, and I'm sure writing it down then and turning it into poetry helps, because you're kind of putting in a place of practice that you can now get better at, you know, and that also helps you in your day-to-day life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, Also therapy Okay. Yeah, yeah yeah, for sure Also therapy. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, therapy, because I started therapy like three weeks ago and I thought that it would be a slow process, you know like but it was faster because I wanted to move. I mean a point of my life that I want just move, move, move the next thing, but also like having fun of these things, not like moving, like I'm stressed out, but you have to yeah, because you want to?
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I want to. Yeah, I want challenging, I want to move to another. What we were talking about like. I want something new because I'm not afraid to think if I'm gonna lose or I'm going to success.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, okay. So therapy in like in Mexico is that common? No no okay, it starts.
Speaker 2:It's starting to yeah, but no.
Speaker 1:No, no, okay, it starts. It's starting to yeah, but no.
Speaker 2:No, and so, like your, you know your family and stuff do they know you go to? I don't think that she will like understand why I'm going to a specialist about talking of my problems yeah, I see.
Speaker 1:No, that's a. I think that's that's fairly common, especially in older generations yeah, yeah, she's like 60.
Speaker 2:yeah, okay my sister is 30 and I think that she she used to go to therapy, but I don't know if it works for her because I think for each generation it has like something like for work that troubles. Yeah, I don't know. For some is sports, for some it's sports like exercise whatever.
Speaker 2:For others it's work like a lot, like workaholic way For others it's sleeping and it's like, okay, I'm reborn and yeah, for others it's like talk, talk, talk right. But it's essential for human being that going therapy, because they start like realizing some things that they can hurt for others and you maybe don't know about, like being egoist egotistical. Yeah, I don't know like thinking just about myself but also the empathy or other things. It works to have a good ambient.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And so, talking about your sister, I know from my experience I saw a therapist when I was 28 for the first time. So, yeah, I mean it definitely still flowed into like my generation too, of like growing up. No, we just didn't know. But I didn't have a good experience with a therapist, and I'm all about therapy, but I haven't had a good therapist until recently. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, and that took five, six, seven years. Yeah, so, and it you know, it's different for everybody because the fact is the therapist is another human being and the way that they move their life and the things that they see, and people in themselves are going to come through.
Speaker 2:So you kind of gotta find somebody that you really do connect with and that's hard it's hard because also the I don't know the, the method that they use to work therapy. Yeah, for example, in Spanish, and my therapist it's uh, cognitive, conceptual, I don't know, we have cognitive behavioral, but yeah yeah, and also my therapist is like into lgbt, nice things yeah, yeah so it's a really good experience because he he will be my best friend.
Speaker 1:Yeah but's my therapist and you know that and with I don't know if this is similar here, but like with um, um, cbt is what we call it cognitive behavioral therapy. It is like you were talking about you're doing, you're, you're kind of in control. You have to do things to push to move things forward. You're not just, you're not just talking about the same things over and over again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for example, the last session, I was like, oh my god, today's therapy day, but I don't have anything I want to talk about. I went and I started to realize that I have a really big trouble with a friend and I didn't know the way about telling her the trouble. So I work in that in one session in that day because I'm so anxious. I start like I realized like oh, I have to tell her now because I know I have the thought to work in this. So I have to tell her like really right now. And yeah, we talked, it's, it's okay, everything it's okay, it's that yeah, and sometimes it just takes another person's point of view perspective and like, or just a person that so the therapist is really.
Speaker 1:I mean, they're not. They're not doing the work. You are you know they're kind of just there to help guide you yeah, yeah action and give you tools to do that.
Speaker 1:So you knew what you needed to do. You just needed a space to like put your anxiety over here and you know, look at how things are working. Yeah, yeah, no, I think. And I think this is important too, because a lot of people think, oh, I go to therapy when things are terrible yeah but that's not no, that's, that's not good I mean, that's not a fact to go to the.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you don't have to be in a crisis yeah, yeah per se to go, and so the way that a lot of people utilize it or use it is like, like you are where maybe there is a moment where you're like, oh, there's not really anything specific, and so then you come in and then a therapist has some tools to be able to help you just, you know, discover some things that might be going on. Or you know there's a situation you're in and you're like this is something I can definitely talk about, um, but then you know, a lot of times we're not focused on that. So I oftentimes put it in my notes app you know my phone when something comes up and then I just have like a running list of things to talk about and I mean, maybe we get to it, maybe I feel like I figured it out on my own, but unless, instead of just going in and being like I have nothing to say, just kind of the worst yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Also there are like special moments to work in therapy, like, for example, when someone is gone, yeah, or when you have a job. Also that euphoria of the emotions, that's, that's all. And in my case it's like faster, because I I propose myself to go like faster, like I really want to understand why am I feeling like these emotions? But in some other cases they are. They are into in a slow process and that's okay absolutely you can.
Speaker 2:You can go to therapy like three days a week and that's okay yeah in my case it's just one, one day a week, but it will be like in the future, I don't know like one day, like two weeks, yeah, that's what.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's I did. I did something similar too. When I, like, first started going, I was in, I was in kind of a crisis for myself. I was feeling really depressed and then, once things started balancing out, I started just going once a month. Um, so it's like a maintenance, is what we call it.
Speaker 1:Um so, yeah, I mean, I think that's really important and but a lot of what you're doing even in the all the other stuff you were talking about with your poetry, with you know, all the things that you're learning and the way you're taking in the things around you you're doing that Like you decided that you were going to make this effort, because oftentimes we kind of just let life happen to us, yeah, and it seems like you've kind of taken back some of that control so that you could, like I don't know, do some really cool stuff, right some really cool stuff right, yeah, and also sometimes, uh, I don't know so many people like let life going, yeah, like happening like I don't know, like not being worried about what's next and that's okay too, but, for example, in my case, uh, it depends on the context.
Speaker 2:I grew up with a context like you have to start university this year and you have to end up this year. So this is my last year of university and I'm like okay, shaking hands because.
Speaker 2:I cannot mistake, like anything, but I know that I can. Also, it happens. It's not my fault. I mean that would be an option and I will learn about this and I'll meet other people or whatever. I think that life is constantly like this, like also have you imagined that there was a person that you were supposed to meet, but for some reason?
Speaker 2:you didn't and it's like that's a question, for example, also the fact that once I heard that one guy it was about to be in the in a group of baseball or something, but he died like two weeks ago. We start and it's like, oh my god, he will Probably be my friend and I don't know, probably he will be my hater. I don't know, yeah, but you have to enjoy he will be my hater. I don't know, yeah, but you have to enjoy Me. Meanwhile, you are like starving in life. You know, like starving because it's like a big wave with all chaos, and also in Mexico City it's like a really big chaos and urbanized cities.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's been a theme of my trip so far is chaos?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's been a theme of my trip so far is chaos. The last country.
Speaker 1:Why came from the state, even just thinking about all the people you like, you and I, you know, you know, could have never met, you know. And so it's like it's special to have these connections and like, yeah, maybe we, we don't ever see each other in person again, and so I think that is kind of I know it's bad.
Speaker 1:We might I'll be back. We might I'll be back, but it's like the kind of I know, like social media has its downside, but the beauty of it really is this sense of like being able to stay connected with people. I just, you know, it's kind of what you said. Don't lose, though, the real human connection, because it can happen, like it's hard to kind of like differentiate, like see the difference in the two?
Speaker 1:And is that some of the stuff that you're like working on with your in school as you move, like with this new media and things like that? Or how are you like going to, in the future, implement kind of all of this way of thinking in the rest of the things that you do in life? Fuck, which also just like you're talking about, there's no pressure.
Speaker 1:Honestly, if you have you know, I think it seems like you will be able to do that in a really for me, I mean in a really special way, Like I see, I see that you have all these like amazing tools and things that you can use to like make us all better um, I don't know, for example, chatgpt, it's a big thing yeah, yeah, like nowadays, but our professor professors are not like really liking it yeah like they are like not supporting the fact that we use chat gpt or sora or whatever, ai intelligence and I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think that's a really good fact that probably we don't develop like we have to do it and I don't know what I was talking about. It's about challenging yeah going, secure, you know like, go for that target that you have, don't matter what you will, you will go and you will have to take care of yourself and the point that you will take in this process. So you have to do an effort to start doing it and I don't know. Yeah, chat, gpt is amazing.
Speaker 1:I agree and if we don't, it's gonna be, I mean, up to us to make sure that it's used for. I mean up to us to make sure that it's used for good, you know because?
Speaker 2:and if we avoid it, yeah, it's not going to be because we need some say in this you know, but you know yeah because, for example, uh teachers think that we will use it like for just doing the says and that's all but it's more than so, much more than that it's a new wikipedia, it's a new google. I mean, it's more than that, so much more than that. It's a new Wikipedia, it's a new Google.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's literally now in my Google. It's now just AI-driven. My Google switched over recently so at a certain point. We can't avoid it and if we do, we're going to be behind and we're not going to be able to move things forward. Like you know, the world needs more of this. You know more of you, and if you're not a, you know, if you're struck down or like not encouraged to use all of these things, like what are we doing really?
Speaker 2:yeah, and also because it's, uh, for example, my my career yes, communication and new media, exactly. They didn't know that it will be like AI things and that's when they first because it's like yeah new means always new, not just when you first start.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah so much has changed. I mean, I was in communications a while ago and, like social media was just barely new you know, and so if I just stuck with what I learned, then no, I would never, I wouldn't be doing anything.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't be doing this, yeah, but this is new also and everyone is like doing it by day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we're trying to again. That's kind of the cool thing about it. It's no longer that it has to be in like this, what you learned in school. It really is like people are creative and they're able to use like all of their energy to do such cool things. Now, yeah, and it's exciting. I'm excited for you to be a part of this my uber is almost here so we do have to wrap up, but um, is there any last thing that you want to?
Speaker 2:share. I want to share that I don't know how to say in English the word. In Spanish it's efimero. Efimero is like something just move faster. It happened, but it happened faster.
Speaker 1:Like in a blink of an eye.
Speaker 2:Yeah, also in WhatsApp, you know like you can send it like once. That's ephemeral, like you said once One time, and then it's there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, okay, that's ephemeral.
Speaker 2:So I think life is that. Yeah. So also there's a phrase that imagine that you are reading a book but you cannot go back to the last page. That's life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're like leaving because even if you did that, page wouldn't look the same yeah, back to it, it's gonna be different and there's another phrase that it's like what you miss it's over, it's done, yeah, so I don't know.
Speaker 2:Uh, I just want to say that enjoy life. And this is not like enjoy life, you're doing it.
Speaker 2:Great, because it's okay if you're like not enjoying life right now and you can say like fuck you whatever but enjoying because, I don't know, in at some point like it's really hot in here in Mexico we used to be like regular weather, so I really miss the weather of one year ago and we are like changing and constantly changing. So enjoy life and if you're not enjoying, do an effort just to look at the details that you will keep in that moment maybe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and enjoying life can look different for everybody, for some people, obviously recognizing that we don't all have things that we can always enjoy, and I'm glad you said that this idea of at home it's like toxic, toxic positivity is a thing, so not that. Yeah, that's not enjoy life. Enjoy life is like, recognize the moments and the things that are, and the people that you're connecting like the experiences, because, just like you said, infimero.
Speaker 2:Efimero.
Speaker 1:Efimero yeah.
Speaker 2:It's ephemeral. Yeah, it's like ephemeral, is it's happening? And then, yeah, the start of this interview it's over, it's over. And we're about to end. But it's, it's great. I really enjoyed this time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, me too yeah.
Speaker 2:Me too.
Speaker 1:We'll meet us again, absolutely Gracias, no.
