[00:00:00] Lori: Stress. It's a familiar part of our lives, so much so that the majority of us dismiss it as a natural part of life. But here's the catch. Recent research shows that micro-stressors those small, insignificant occurrences that usually go undetected can actually have a significant effect on your general health and level of life satisfaction. If you've been tuning out those pesky little irritants as just part of life, stay tuned friend, because we are going to teach you how to tune in to those subtle stressors so you can regain control of your wellbeing and improve your professional performance.
[00:00:42] Nola: Welcome to Sticky Brand Lab, where we bridge the gap between knowledge and action by providing you with helpful info, tips and tools from entrepreneurs and other experts so you can quickly and easily jumpstart your side business. We're your hosts. I'm Nola Boea, and this is my co-host, Lori Vajda. Hey, Lori.
[00:00:59] Lori: Hi, Nola.
[00:01:00] Nola: Lori, in our last episode, we talked about how when left unchecked stress can lead to burnout and a whole host of serious health problems. and that the major problem with micro stressors is that they're often so small that our brains don't register them as stress. And we're talking about things like catching your boss's typo or your kid just taking too slow to get ready for school, things like that.
[00:01:24] Lori: Exactly. I know that is the case for me, or at least it was until I started focusing on the things that get in my way. Often the situations, they're so natural and so much a part of our daily occurrence, you know, like getting stuck in traffic or somebody, cuts you off. as you're driving or your kids are running late, but we know that over time these minor stressors pile up and eventually can have a bigger impact on our physical, mental, emotional, and even our relational health. When we become more self-aware of the things that cause us on an individual level, stress, we're in a much better position to deal with them. I often think that in today's society, we are so used to minor stresses that we actually have an extremely high level of tolerance for stress. And the problem with that is, as we said, it can really undermine our wellbeing.
[00:02:28] Nola: Absolutely. And by dealing with these micro stressors, we're not only protecting our overall wellbeing like you just mentioned, but we're also able to improve our interpersonal relationships and our professional performance, which leads to more enjoyment of our work and life. So today, Lori and I are going to walk you through an exercise so you can not only become aware of your micro stressors, but also become aware of how they show up in your body and your mind.
[00:02:56] Lori: One thing to keep in mind here is, as we've pointed out, we're often unaware of those micro stressors that are happening in the moment or that are related to a specific person or situation. And because we're unaware, we can't apply the same stress management tools that we would to high levels of stress. Things like removing yourself from the situation or taking a break or going for a walk or talking to someone. They really don't work with micro stressors because they're out of our awareness. They really don't work. The usual technique, And that's because really there are too many micro stressors and sources that contribute to them, that happen throughout any given day. Think of driving in traffic or not finding a parking space, or your kid forgetting something or a work-related meeting. A colleague or boss's mistake, your partner, spouse, forgetting something. These are the kinds of little irritants that get in the way, and since we're unconscious of them or what triggers them, we literally can't remember why we feel the way that we do. Why are we more grumpy? Why are we feeling overstressed? Why do we feel burned out or tired? And all of that is contributed by those micro stressors that get past our own defenses. So not only is noticing them important, but by not noticing them, over time, low level stresses impact our bodies and often cause more severe consequences. Such as, Chronic stress, anxiety, depression. Burnout is a major one that happens and that usually happens around work. So, there's a lot of significance to and importance to identifying those low-level stressors that happened.
[00:05:00] Nola: Well, the good news here is that there are some effective strategies to help you deal with these micro stressors and we'll discuss those in a, future episode. Awareness, however, is the first step because without awareness you can't even take action. What you need to do is to start by determining the root causes. And we're going to help you determine these by thinking about them as three overarching categories.
The first one, Is tension. For example, these can come from our working or personal relationships with others. Tension can come up when others add to your workload or impair our ability to even do our jobs. These are, you know, little micro stressors that drain us personally. And again, because they happen with a particular person or a team, they can appear infrequently in a workday or work week. And often these tensions are unspoken and even unacknowledged.
The next way to think about a micro stressor is through, identifying negative thinking or negative feelings. Now these are stresses that deplete our emotional reserves. And they typically happen when we're worried about something like a person or a, you know, a child, a friend. It can also happen when we're really uncertain about how someone's going to react to our actions or we're afraid of the consequences. Another example is that you're just simply worn out by a particular form of communication.
The third way of identifying micro stressors is to think about interactions that undermine our sense of self. And the reason these cause stress is that they also impact the principles that guide our values and guide our behaviors at home and at work. Examples of these include when perhaps someone damages your sense of self-confidence, your sense of self-worth, or your feeling of control, or you feel forced to pursue objectives that really contradict your personal values.
[00:07:01] Lori: Yeah. That last one reminds me of, in a previous episode, you had talked about the woman who loved animals, got job working in a center, but part of her job included euthanasia.
[00:07:16] Nola: Yeah, well that was not micro. That was a macro stress. But since then, I've identified a, a stress that I had in a job many years ago where it was copywriting and I was, uh, coming up with copy descriptions and my boss would rewrite it he would put in words that he knew would make the audience buy, but I knew was not being delivered by this product or service. He was basically lying in order to make his sales go up. And just really, really bothered me.
[00:07:51] Lori: That is a prime example. Now, listener that you have the three categories, you are ready to identify a few or the typical micro stressors that have the greatest impact on you. Now, we've mentioned that those are under the radar. So the question is, how do you do this? And the way to do that is to kind of think about those buckets.
So when you're thinking about, for example, tension, is there a certain person that regardless of the situation, you automatically feel or have, a negative response to whenever you see that person. Maybe you have particular meetings with other teams and there's one morning meeting or afternoon meeting that always you just walk out feeling depleted. That's an example of a person or a situation that you derive tension from. So, you're really looking at identifying some of those recurring behaviors.
Looking at the bucket under negative thinking or feeling. Again, is there a person that you communicate with or have trouble communicating with or somebody that you're concerned about? So it might be a temporary situation, but maybe you've got a family member or a friend going through a hard time, they really have a prominent role in your mind at this time. It could occupying a short-term space in your life. Or it can be chronic. It can come up and down as that person or that situation. reoccurs.
The third bucket, those interactions that undermine your sense of self. Again, is there a person who typically undermines your confidence? Maybe it's a client, a boss, a colleague, with a totally different set of values. Because the goal is to become aware and identify, one of the things that you're doing here is testing out your hypothesis. Is it that person? Is it that situation? Does it occur on Monday mornings? Maybe it occurs on Wednesday afternoons, because that's when that meeting comes up. When testing your hypothesis, you're really looking for how it shows up in your physical being or how it shows up in the thoughts.
Let me give you an example. So let's say that you have a challenge with a particular colleague. You want to tune into the somatic feelings in your body. When you see that person approaching or you're in the room with that person, do you recognize that you get a headache or a muscle knot in your shoulders or that your stomach starts churning as soon as you hear their voice. That would be an indication of where in the body you automatically feel it. If you go to a meeting, you might find that you recognize that your shoulders are pulled up to your ears, and so when you bring your shoulders down, that's when you realize, oh my God, I've been carrying that and my shoulders hurt. So, you're looking for somatic feelings associated.
The second thing you want to do then is give that pain a number. Now again, because you're unaware of it, you are not going to feel that that's a stress, but as you tune in, that number might have a one or a two or even a three. So a low level of stress related to it. But as you become more aware that the person or situation is causing you the stress, you might notice that number goes up. That's okay. That's just awareness number going up, and nothing more than that.
The third thing that you want to consider is the thoughts that are associated when you see that person. Oftentimes, if it's a communication problem, Dread might be a thought, and we might think, oh gosh, I just hate interacting or talking to that person because they never da, da, da, da, whatever that thought is. Or you might notice that there's an edge in your voice, or you might get quiet, or you might get more determined. Here, what are the kind of tapes that are playing? You might think, oh, that person isn't very bright, or That person is rude, or whatever it is that you label. Keep in mind that for some of us, feelings in the body will be the primary indicator and thoughts are the second indicator. For other people, it's the thoughts that they recognize as the primary, and then where they feel it in the body becomes the secondary. There's no right or wrong way to how you feel it or how you think about it. It's just knowing how you individually work. And once you're able to identify and isolate a few micro stressors, then you're able. To see how they impact your life, and you'll be able to recognize them when they occur. Of course, when that happens, you'll have a better understanding of the root causes of your stress and you can take the appropriate action to eliminate them or at the very least, reduce them.
And we're going to talk about those steps in upcoming episodes. But for now, the assignment is simply to focus on the what, who, and when micro stressors happen so that you know where in your body and how in your body you experience them both physically and mentally.
[00:13:57] Nola: I'm going to start paying attention now because I've noticed that when certain things happen, I suddenly get really tense in my neck and shoulders while when other things happen. I get this knot in my stomach.
Now I'm curious, is it that one is the original root and the other, it, follows the feelings? Or is it that certain types of micro stressors do the knot in the stomach and different types are the, the tension in the shoulders? I do know that if I start to perceive that
I'm expected to do things far beyond what I have time and resources to accomplish, I get that really tight knot in my stomach I think I also get the, get the neck, the neck stress going on too. But I'm going to pay attention.
[00:14:42] Lori: You bring up a, really good point that is you can have the somatic feeling. So let's say that you go into a meeting and this meeting recurs regularly, but for you, no progress is happening. It's a bunch of people talking or complaining with no action steps. And you feel like it's a really waste of Your valuable time because you've got a workload that you need to get through. So you're aware now that a particular meeting with a particular group of people happens, you have been able to identify the feeling in your body where you feel it the most. So you were talking about shoulder or back, or stomach. You assign a number to it. Now that you've got the awareness when that meeting occurs, you, you might find that that number, that low level number increases, but you're aware that that's simply because you know that this is one of your micro stressors. Well, now You've tuned in and now you're aware that you have thoughts about this meeting. So you've labeled the meeting unproductive. And that gives you a new location in your body for you carry unproductive meetings.
[00:15:55] Nola: Oh wow.
[00:15:56] Lori: So, you might dread it and get a headache going into the meeting, but because you've labeled it and the thought is we got nothing accomplished, you might find that your shoulders go up as your tension for participating goes up. So the thoughts have triggered a new pain in your body. This is often why we have mixed signals about a person or an event. Because one, we have the somatic feeling, but two, our mind gives it a new location in our body.
[00:16:29] Nola: This is fascinating, and what you just said is super helpful and I cannot wait until the next chapter of this discussion where we talk about what to do about it. But in the meantime, friend, we hope the ideas and action steps we've offered so that you can become aware of your micro stressors, have sparked your interest, curiosity and willingness to prioritize your own needs and reduce your micro stressors and improve your wellbeing so you can become a first-time entrepreneur in the second half of your vibrant life.
Be sure to stick around to the very end of the podcast for a little fun.
[00:17:06] Lori: If You found the information we've shared helpful, and want more tools, tips, and inspiration delivered to your inbox, sign up for news. You can use over on our website, stickybrandlab.com. and remember, small steps, big effects.
[OUT-TAKE]
[00:17:24] Nola: And our professional performance, which leads to more enjoyment, enjoyment, let me just it from the top.
[00:17:34] Lori: We're done.
