Simply Wholehearted

☀️ Ennea-Summer: Enneagram 8 The Challenger

June 03, 2024 Amy Wicks Episode 346
☀️ Ennea-Summer: Enneagram 8 The Challenger
Simply Wholehearted
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Simply Wholehearted
☀️ Ennea-Summer: Enneagram 8 The Challenger
Jun 03, 2024 Episode 346
Amy Wicks

**Grab your Enneagram 8 Guide Sheet to follow along**
https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagrameightguidesheet

Let's have an Ennea-Summer together. We'll be talking about all nine Enneagram types starting with the type 8.

Are you an Enneagram 8 or have a type 8 in your life?  They are often referred to as "The Challenger" and I'm sharing characteristics of a type 8, including:

-- Fears, desires, and weaknesses
-- Wings 9 and 7
-- Communication patterns
-- Lines of stress and growth

You'll also hear a powerful story from a Wholehearted Coaching Type 8 client, Lori Melton, and then fellow Wholehearted Coach, Deanna Sudom, will share a prayer for humility and compassion for the Type 8.

Grab your Ennea-Summer Guide Sheets for each Enneagram Type:
https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneasummerninetypes


RESOURCES FOR YOU:

Wholehearted Enneagram Coaching
https://bit.ly/SWcoachingcollective

Ennea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram
(free course + printables)
https://bit.ly/Enneagram101Guide

The Real History of the Enneagram Course
(use code AMY for 40% OFF)
https://bit.ly/EnneagramHistory

Should Christians Use the Enneagram? (Amy's book)
https://amzn.to/3VB9Prx

Connect with Amy:
IG
Website

Show Notes Transcript

**Grab your Enneagram 8 Guide Sheet to follow along**
https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagrameightguidesheet

Let's have an Ennea-Summer together. We'll be talking about all nine Enneagram types starting with the type 8.

Are you an Enneagram 8 or have a type 8 in your life?  They are often referred to as "The Challenger" and I'm sharing characteristics of a type 8, including:

-- Fears, desires, and weaknesses
-- Wings 9 and 7
-- Communication patterns
-- Lines of stress and growth

You'll also hear a powerful story from a Wholehearted Coaching Type 8 client, Lori Melton, and then fellow Wholehearted Coach, Deanna Sudom, will share a prayer for humility and compassion for the Type 8.

Grab your Ennea-Summer Guide Sheets for each Enneagram Type:
https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneasummerninetypes


RESOURCES FOR YOU:

Wholehearted Enneagram Coaching
https://bit.ly/SWcoachingcollective

Ennea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram
(free course + printables)
https://bit.ly/Enneagram101Guide

The Real History of the Enneagram Course
(use code AMY for 40% OFF)
https://bit.ly/EnneagramHistory

Should Christians Use the Enneagram? (Amy's book)
https://amzn.to/3VB9Prx

Connect with Amy:
IG
Website

Hey friend, this Ennea- Summer episode is focusing on the Enneagram Eight, who is often referred to as the challenger and tends to be direct and protective. I'm going to share the core characteristics of a type eight.  I'll be featuring a powerful story from a wholehearted Type 8 client and then wholehearted coach Deanna Sudom will close with a prayer for humility and compassion.

If you knew an 8 or you are an Enneagram 8, I hope you take notes and share this fun and easy way to learn all about 9 Enneagram types this summer with all of your friends.  Now here's a quick snapshot of the Enneagram 8.  An AIDS core fear is being vulnerable, weak, or powerless, being manipulated and left at the mercy of injustice. 

An AIDS core desire is to keep those that they love and themselves protected from harm.  The AIDS core weakness is untamed desire or lust, as they have a propensity to push themselves into situations and relationships to be in control or to experience the intensity.  The Enneagram 8's core longing is, you will not be betrayed. 

Now let's talk about Enneagram wings. In general, the Enneagram wings are the two personality types on either side of the primary personality type.  For instance, the wings for the Type 8 are the Type 9 and the Type 7. One  of these wings is often the Enneagram 8. But not always used more than the other, which brings a new dimension and depth to the primary type.

It's like salt and pepper to potato or cream and sugar to coffee. It adds some flavor and dimension to the primary type.  Now, the main type dominates a person's perception and experience, but the wings do influence and impact it.  In addition to internal conflicts that might arise from the unique wing influence, our childhood wounds may also impact the use of our wings, or even just our childhood, family of origin, and environment.  Most importantly, the insight about Enneagram wings is just about giving awareness to those wounded spaces so they might be mended so you can experience forward momentum.  A quick rundown about the eight wings. The Enneagram 8 Wing 7 tends to be more extroverted, enterprising, energetic, quick, a little bit more interested in power, and perhaps even egocentric. 

The Enneagram 8 Wing 9 is more mild-mannered, gentle, receptive, enjoys their comforts, is people-oriented, and tends to lend their strength in a more quiet manner.  Now, let's talk about the intelligence center for the Enneagram 8. The Enneagram 8 falls into the gut triad which is characterized by its tendencies to produce immediate, direct, gut level reactions to situations and then integrate emotional and cognitive processes to their responses.

The lead emotional reactions within the gut triad often include anger and frustration, significantly influencing their thoughts and actions.  As we mentioned, the core desire of the gut triad specifically centers on a strong desire for control, sometimes labeled as justice or fairness, which often is the background motivator for their actions and decisions. 

In a decision making process, members of the gut triad typically begin by assessing what will help them maintain control and prioritize these principles and their choices as they align it with their specific core desires.  The type 8 specifically controls by fiercely guarding their vulnerability and emotional connection or emotional vulnerability. 

Now let's talk about the communication pattern.  The 8's communication pattern falls within the assertive stance of the Enneagram, and this communication pattern actively engages with others.  This personality stance, and stance is the Enneagram term for communication pattern often persuades others to get their desired resolution.

Their positive intention is to assert impactful ideas and vision to others. But those in the assertive stance often get frustrated with those who go too slow or seem too easygoing. The Enneagram 8's communication pattern means that they struggle the most with the mundane and the limitations of ordinary life. 

But their strength is being future focused and they tend to think, what should be done next? What will happen next? And that impacts and influences the right now, the present moment.  An Enneagram 8 can often see where they are going or want to go and they use that information to determine what needs to happen right now or what they want to do right now to make the future happen. 

Many times I get asked about those unique lines that you see on an Enneagram diagram. Those denote lines of stress and growth. So here are the details about the lines connected to the Enneagram 8, or the Enneagram 8's lines of stress and growth.  When the Enneagram 8 is feeling especially stressed or is operating without awareness, they may exhibit the character traits of an average to an unhealthy type 5.

They become more secretive and fearful. They're less in touch with their feelings and withdrawn from others. And they may also experience more anxiety that others will betray them.  But when an Enneagram 8 is responding with purpose and intentionality, the Enneagram 8 can exhibit the characteristics of the healthy side of a Type 2.

They become more open hearted and caring, they open up to others and reveal their vulnerability, and they have more empathy and compassion towards others.  Now, let's talk about specific contemplative and upstream practices for the Enneagram Eight.  When an Eight practices rhythms of consenting to stillness, restraint is embodied.

It's in restraint that an Eight can better discern what the Lord is compelling them to do and it helps to open the door to encounter Jesus, the true protector. Their  brokenhearted moments are transformed into wholehearted healing as an Eight declares these truth statements.  May I be openhearted. May I be loving?

May I be vulnerable?  When an aid deliberately consents to stillness, it's not a matter of acquiescence, but rather a submission to trust in God.  Instead of overdoing it or using an insertive posture in prayer, resting in peace creates vulnerability with our Creator. It's these spiritual rhythms engage the quality traits of the Enneagram 2, which is the Enneagram 8's line of growth. 

Author A. J. Sherrill advises Enneagram Aids to observe the season of Pentecost in the church calendar rhythm. This specifically reminds them that God cares more about justice than they do. The scriptures remind us repeatedly that God is making all things new. And when an aid remembers to partner with God, It helps relieve the heavy load of carrying out justice without demonizing opponents. 

So that is a brief rundown about the Enneagram Eight. Of course, there are so many nuances and unique facets to an Enneagram Eight, but these are some general rules to understand about yourself if you're an Eight or to utilize to be able to understand and have compassion for the Enneagram Eights in your life. 

Next up is a wholehearted client who is an Enneagram 8. Lori came to me because a past client and friend of hers mentioned to her that I might be able to support her through a tough season of big transition in life. And I'm going to let you hear more from her and from her point of view. 

Hi, my name is Lori Melton and I live in Kansas City, Missouri, and this is my wholehearted journey. I first heard about the Enneagram several years ago. I didn't think of it. Much thought initially, I'd been through lots of personality tests in my career, and it seemed like just another personality test. 

But after the death of my brother and several other difficult life events, I was in a place of feeling pretty hopeless and confused and even desperate. I'd heard about the Wholehearted Journey coaching through a couple of friends at church earlier in the year, and I knew that At that point that I needed help to sort through so many things  after an initial conversation where I spent several minutes data dumping my pain, Amy did recommend the coaching path, and I very much wanted to do it, but I was It's Absolutely terrified of vulnerability,  I began learning much more about the Enneagram after beginning my work with Wholehearted Journey.

And as I delved into some of the recommended podcasts and books, I started recognizing my type as a type eight. And to be perfectly honest, I didn't like it. It took me a while to.  And I was still wrestling with who I am in Christ versus who others perceive me to be or versus what I wanted to be perceived as. 

And  I think the first pivotal moment, the most pivotal moment even for me was during a session with Amy last December. I had  finally arrived at the end of myself. I was.  broken down in tears and realizing I couldn't do it. Those were the words I said, I can't do this.  I had experienced so much loss  and disappointment, grief, trauma.

There was just so much that I had refused to deal with for decades.  And for years, I, I thought I could just control my emotions enough to make it not hurt.  My heart just wasn't having it any longer. And in my brokenness and tears during that session, Amy introduced me to the you diagram. She said to me, you are at the bottom of the you right now.

I was finally at a point  where I was willing to acknowledge all of that loss. And it was absolutely excruciating in the moment for me because I had spent all of these years not wanting to feel anything. Uh, it was incredibly healing. Eventually, to fully acknowledge with every part of my being, and for really the first time in my life, all of the harm that I had experienced over the years. 

And  prior to this, my coping mechanism. was really to avoid the bottom of the U. I just walked right across the bridge from loss over to new life and thought I was fine. Um,  the idea of releasing control and acknowledging the pain was still there. Terrifying to me. I thought if I released that,  the floodgates would open and they would never shut.

Like I would just be a puddle for the rest of my life. And I had just held on so, so tight for so, so long. And this moment, along with our continued sessions, have set me on a path of incredible healing and freedom  that I've never really experienced in my life. Going to the bottom of the U brought me closer to the Lord and it made me more open with others, my family and friends, and in my work life. 

And Eventually, after coming out on the other side of that experience, it gave me such a sense of wholeness and peace and victory that really resonated throughout every area of my life. So now I spend time. With the Lord on a regular basis being fully open,  tear off the armor, rather than praying away what I'm feeling and dismissing it, um, I shouldn't feel this way, Lord, just give me strength to, to, uh, get through this, you know, soldier on, I really  Allow myself now to acknowledge the hurts and accept his love for me, even in the moments where I sometimes become the villain.

I understand now that I can have victory and restoration with others by giving him all of it. on a regular basis. It's not just a one-and-done. It's a, a process and it allows me to be open and vulnerable with everyone else in my life as well. And obviously it's a work in progress for sure. It will be lifelong process for me to abandon that default setting of self preservation and on a daily basis, I know he wants me to tear off that armor and let him hold me.

I've never really let him hold me before, um, and the wholehearted journey has allowed me to experience that fully and recognize how important this is in my day-to-day life. 

Man, I am so grateful for Lori's story. I hope you are as inspired as I am.  Remember, friend. We are all broken. We are all blowing it, but it is the brave one who does something about it.  Now, I've saved the best for last. Deanna Sudom will share her prayer and blessing for the Type 8.  Type 8 friend, you have been created to be a protector and reflect the power of God.

As it says in Isaiah,  1. Learn to do right. Seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless. Plead the case of the widow. These are the things that come naturally to you as justice rises up. I sense that God wants you to lean into Him and trust Him to be these things for you. As it says in Psalm 16  verses 5 to 8, Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup.

You make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. Surely, I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me. Even at night, my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.  Father, thank you for the hearts of the protectors.

Lord, I thank you that they often pave the way in justice, that they lead without apology, and they have discernment for things that need to be accomplished. Amen. But Lord, I ask that you will assure them that they are protected, that you will not betray them, that you will show them where you want them to enter into situations.

And if certain issues belong to them or not, God, thank you that you are their portion and their cup, that you make their lot secure. They do not have to worry. Lord, temper their confidence with humility. Their self assertiveness with vulnerability, so they can trust their boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places, and surely they have a delightful inheritance in you.

Thank you that you will go before them, Lord, and you will be their rear guard. Father, nurture the seeds of leadership you have planted. Surround them with people that can speak straight to them, to confront or challenge, but also to comfort and encourage. Lord, help them to have open hands, to receive your instruction, and to trust that you, ultimately, are in control.

That you are God, and they are not, and there is ease in releasing things to you. Thank you for their passion. May you refine it to be in alignment with yours. Bless them, Lord, I pray. In Jesus name. Amen.  As we wrap up our discussion on the Type 8, I hope that this episode has sparked a fire within you to view vulnerability as a strength and compassion as a guiding light. 

Remember, true strength is about asserting yourself and the care you extend to others and yourself.  So challenge the norm, my friend, and join me again for more empowering episodes this summer.