JONATHAN CORMUR: Hello Dork Squad. I'm Jonathan Cormur and you're listening to Dorktales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture-loving grown-ups, and this is one of our anything-is-possible lore stories.
THEME SONG: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure and glory, new friends and old ones too. It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tail, so let us regale you.
REDGE: Do you have everything in place, Jonathan?
JONATHAN: I think so! We have sleepy time tea, a good book for bedtime reading–
REDGE: We’re both wearing our pajamas and slippers!
JONATHAN: And the covers are turned down.
REDGE: I’ve even put a mint on your pillow!
JONATHAN: Oh yeah! Look at that!
I think we’re ready, Redge.
REDGE: I agree. Let’s give this a whirl. I hope it works!
JONATHAN: Fingers crossed!
REDGE: Ok, I’m going to hide behind the door and you pretend like you’re about to fall asleep. Just like we discussed!
JONATHAN: Roger!
REDGE: Jonathan! My name is Reginald!
JONATHAN: I wasn’t saying your name! Roger is just a way of saying “You got it!”
REDGE: But…my name is Reginald…
JONATHAN: Uh… never mind, just get by the door.
REDGE: Righto!
JONATHAN: (Does a dramatic yawn and a stilted performance of going to sleep, almost like he’s reading from a script) Oh! Would you look at the time? I should be getting to bed. I’m just going to crawl under the covers and try to drift off into a peaceful slumber.
REDGE: (Whispering) Well done Jonathan! Very convincing!
JONATHAN: Shhh!
REDGE: Oh right sorry!
JONATHAN: I’m just going to lay back and close my eyes. (Another dramatic yawn) I don’t think I could stay awake for one moment longer…
(sparkling, twinkling sound.)
REDGE: That’s it! They’re here! It worked!
JONATHAN: Open the door before they fly away!
REDGE: OH RIGHT!
(The sound of a door swinging open)
REDGE: Ah ha!
HESPER: Oh!
VESPER: Hi!
HESPER: Oh goodness, Vesper. Did I wiggle my ears thrice instead of twice again?
VESPER: I don’t think so Hesper. We’ve been practicing all week.
REDGE: Hesper, the Fairy of the Evening Star! Vesper! Hesper’s moth companion!
HESPER: That’s us! Right, Vesper?
VESPER: So true, Hesper!
REDGE: Thank goodness you’re both here! Come in, come in.
HESPER: Reginald, It’s a pleasure to see you! How are your nightly brews coming along? Perfected your peppermint tea formula yet?
REDGE: Oh! Have I ever! Just the other day, I discovered–
VESPER: Um…not to interrupt but isn’t this Jonathan’s domicile? I could have sworn he was just falling asleep.
HESPER: Oh Vesper! Thank you for keeping me on course. That is why we came here after all! To sprinkle fairy dust on his door–
VESPER: So he would have a most restful evening!
HESPER: Quite right!
VESPER: It’s what we do each night!
HESPER: We’re rhyming once more!
VESPER: What other rhymes will we have in store?
HESPER: Oh excellent Vesper!
JONATHAN: Hi everyone! I was just helping Redge out with a little predicament.
HESPER: Oh?
REDGE: I’m afraid we’ve bamboozled you!
VESPER: We’ve been bamboozled?
HESPER: No one was about to snooze…led?
VESPER: Nice one!
HESPER: Did you like it? I thought I’d try to keep the rhymes rhyming!
VESPER: Loved it!
REDGE: Um…anywho. The predicament?
VESPER: Oh right! What’s happening Redge?
REDGE: Well you see, we needed to summon you to Jonathan’s door because I think that I…I maybe….sort of…um…
HESPER: Don’t be nervous, Redge! Whatever it is, we’ll be happy to help you!
VESPER: In any way we can!
REDGE: Well…it seems that I’ve…set a bad dream on the loose!
HESPER/VESPER: GASP!
REDGE: I was having a fitful night's sleep and woke with a start! I saw a swirling, shadowy…something dashing right out my hovel’s window!
HESPER: Did it sound like it had feet or hooves?
VESPER: Did it double or even triple in size as it leaped from your room?
REDGE: Yes and yes!
VESPER/HESPER: GASP AGAIN!
VESPER: You know what this means, Hesper.
HESPER: I do Vesper. It means - The Night Mare is back.
REDGE: The Night Mare?
VESPER: Once in a blue moon-
HESPER: Or full moon-
VESPER: Or even sometimes a crescent moon…The Night Mare escapes from someone’s bad dream and roams the earth.
HESPER: It takes the shape of a glittering horse, clomping and stomping around. And it’s always in the WORST mood.
VESPER: Because it can never get any sleep!
HESPER: And it doesn’t want to let anyone else sleep either!
REDGE: Oh no! I feel dreadful that I’ve unleashed such a thing on the world!
HESPER: Now Redge, never you fear. It is not your fault!
JONATHAN: That’s what I told him! There must be something going on that’s making it hard for him to sleep. We thought you might help us catch this Night Mare and figure out what’s keeping Redge awake.
VESPER: Yes! We have a survey just for this occasion!
HESPER: Oh wonderful idea, Vesper!
VESPER: Thank you, Hesper!
HESPER: Let me conjure that up for you… Two flourishes of the wand, two blinks of the eyes,
VESPER: And only four ear wiggles remember, Hesper?
HESPER: –and then to top it off, we wiggle the ears two times then three–
VESPER: Uh oh. But that’s five!
HESPER: And here is the survey!
(The sound of a puff of magic)
SHEEP: Baaaaaa.
HESPER: Oopsy doopsy! It seems that was the spell for conjuring sheep to count until you fall to sleep!
VESPER: She always wiggles her ears the wrong amount of times.
HESPER: (Chuckles) I do don’t I? Ah well. Wiggle the ears twice plus two and–
(The same magic poof sound)
VESPER: There we are! Our Sadly Sleepless Survey. I will take you through some quick questions to help identify why you might be having issues drifting off to Dreamland! (Clears throat) Trouble sleeping recently?
REDGE: Yes.
VESPER: Have you been eating a large amount of sugar right at 9pm?
REDGE: I have not.
VESPER: Have you been trying to sleep in an unusual spot - for instance, in a cupboard or a pantry instead of in your bed?
REDGE: Only once, but that was a long time ago.
JONATHAN: Huh?
REDGE: Don’t worry about it, Jonathan.
VESPER: Has a troubling situation occurred or is one about to occur that is causing you stress and possibly creating a whirlpool of big strong emotions that you feel like you can’t control and you’re thinking about it each time your head is about to hit the pillow?
REDGE: No…
VESPER: Alrighty. Next ques–
REDGE: I LIED!
HESPER: Oh goodness!
REDGE: There IS something!
JONATHAN: What’s happening Redge?
REDGE: A big Trivia Tournament is happening in the forest tomorrow. I’m the team captain for the Quizzical Quizzards.
JONATHAN: Haha! Quizzards. Like Wizards. That’s a good one.
REDGE: I’M SO NERVOUS. We’re going up against the Trivial Purrr-suits. Those cats are trivia masters!
JONATHAN: This competition sounds like a lot of fun! And it sounds like a very Redge activity to me.
REDGE: I know. But team captain? Having to be a leader? Being tested on my Once Upon a Time Land pop culture knowledge? Being around new people? OH I JUST DON’T KNOW. It is too much!
HESPER: It’s only natural that something big and new might keep you up at night, tossing and turning.
VESPER: Absolutely!
HESPER: Perhaps we can all put our heads together and think of all the things we like to do to try and put our minds at ease before bed.
VESPER: And coincidentally, that should help us capture The Night Mare!
HESPER: How true! We can lure The Night Mare into sleep with our favorite calming exercises.
JONATHAN: I love this idea! Let's gather some supplies!
HESPER: And then off we’ll go to set our eyes–
VESPER: On The Night Mare that flew out into the skies!
REDGE: You’re really on fire with the rhyming you two.
HESPER: Why, thank you Reginald!
VESPER: To The Night Mare!
(The sparkling, twinkling sound, and a horse whinnying)
REDGE: It looks like the creature is just ahead! That is exactly what escaped from my hovel…only now it’s (gulps) m-m-much bigger!
JONATHAN: Keep your eyes on the prize Redge! We can do this together!
HESPER: Is everyone ready?
VESPER: Ready!
JONATHAN: You betcha!
REDGE: I think so!
JONATHAN: Now Redge, I know you can do better than that.
REDGE: You’re so right. I was born ready!
JONATHAN: Atta boy! Or should I say “atta hedge”?
HESPER: Just as we discussed then. One at a time, we’ll saddle up and unleash our sleepy time power! Show this Night Mare your favorite way to wind down the day!
VESPER: Then, once we’ve distracted the Mare, Hesper will take that enchanted pillow–
HESPER: And place it under the beast’s head.
VESPER: It will finally be comfy enough to sleep!
JONATHAN: I’ll go first!
REDGE: Be careful, Jonathan!
JONATHAN: I love to read before bed and so I will tell The Night Mare the beginning of a story! (A little muttering as Jonathan opens the book and looks for the right page) Here goes nothing!
“Once Upon a Time, in a land of rolling green hills and beautiful blue skies, there stood an ancient castle with vines growing up the walls and mysterious winged creatures guarding its gates…”
(The sparkling, twinkling sound)
REDGE: Well done, Jonathan!
HESPER: Yes! You’ve captured The Night Mare’s attention! Who’s next?
VESPER: I love to do a few big stretches before bed. Everybody join me in opening your wings real wide–
REDGE: Ah yes, the classic flying moth pose!
VESPER: Now flutter about from side to side!
(The sparkling, twinkling sound with a few of the clomping hoof-steps)
REDGE: The Night Mare is clomping from side to side with us!
HESPER: Working like a charm!
REDGE: Now I’ll go! I love a good bubble bath to help me get to sleep.
VESPER: That’s a good one!
REDGE: I’m going to blow bubbles that will pop and fill the air with the scent of lavender soap and peppermint tea.
(The sparkling, twinkling sound and a few popping bubbles)
HESPER: It smells divine! I love to sing a good lullaby before bed myself! (clear throat and sings a short melody)
VESPER: Everyone look! The Night Mare is curling up on the pavement and falling asleep!
REDGE: It’s working, it’s working!
HESPER: Perfection! Let me just swirl my hands and make a lasso out of bed sheets to hold The Mare in place.
REDGE: Yeehaw!
VESPER: Then she’ll sprinkle some fairy dust on the stones to make The Mare a bed–
HESPER: Then hop and skip and leap and fly to place the pillow under its head!
(The sparkling, twinkling sound)
JONATHAN: It's growing smaller and smaller!
REDGE: That pillow landed in the perfect spot!
JONATHAN: The bed sheet lasso became its blanket!
REDGE: Awww!
VESPER: We’ve done it.
HESPER: The Night Mare is at peace and is a small, sweet dream once again.
REDGE: Look, Jonathan! It’s transformed into a tiny, round bird with sparkling feathers.
JONATHAN: No it’s a magical white wolf.
REDGE: Huh?
HESPER: Delightful! I see a little green dragon with leaves for wings. And Vesper–
VESPER: I see a little beautiful ball of starlight.
REDGE: How is it that we all see something different?
HESPER: Dream magic is a wonderful thing, Reginald! Every one of us has different dreams–
VESPER: When we’re asleep and awake!
HESPER: And so, the dream magic is showing us the stuff of our dreams.
JONATHAN/REDGE: (In awe) Wow!
REDGE: I cannot thank you enough for helping me catch The Night Mare, but also helping me remember all the tools I have to get a good night’s sleep!
JONATHAN: You need your rest for your big tournament, Redge. You can’t do anything until you take care of yourself first.
REDGE: It’s so true.
JONATHAN: I know it’s scary, but I’m proud of you for trying something new and asking for help.
REDGE: Aw shucks.
HESPER: So, shall we all magically travel to Reginald’s hovel so I might sprinkle stardust at his door for a wonderful night’s sleep?
JONATHAN: Let’s do it!
REDGE: I’m ready to rest and face the new day!
HESPER: Gather round, then, gather round. We’ll do one flourish of the wand. Three turns to the right and three turns to the left. Two big hops like toads on lilypads. And finally, we’ll wiggle the ears–
VESPER: Just twice this time, Hesper–
HESPER: Thrice! Yes that’s it!
VESPER: Uh oh, here we go.
HESPER: And soon we will arrive at Reginald’s—
SHEEP: Baaaaa.
HESPER: Oh dear….I’ve done it again, haven’t I?
JONATHAN: Maybe we can just walk this time.
HESPER: Marvelous!
ADD Any Dream You Dream Of lullaby Here
JONATHAN CORMUR: This has been a Jonincharacter production. Today’s story was written and produced by Molly Murphy. Special thanks to Molly Murphy who performed the character Hesper, the fairy of the evening star. All other characters were performed by Jonathan Cormur. The song ‘Any Dream You Dream Of’ was written, produced and performed by Molly Murphy, with additional instrumentation by Phil Harris. The song was mastered by Jermaine Hamilton. Sound recording and production for the episode by Jermaine Hamilton at Hamilton Studio Recordings. You can find links in the show notes.
Now, go be the hero of your own story and we’ll see you next once-upon-a-time!
THEME SONG: So gather your squad for all to see. It's a universe that we've imagined. There's twists and turns and lessons learned. This is where the unexpected happens. Join our humble hosts and hit the trails of the wonderful, wacky, wild world of Dorktales.
© 2024 Dorktales Storytime