JONATHAN CORMUR: Hello Dork Squad. I'm Jonathan Cormur and you're listening to Dorktales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture-loving grown-ups, and this is one of our anything-is-possible lore stories.
THEME SONG: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure and glory, new friends and old ones too. It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tail, so let us regale you.
(Sound of a phone ringing)
REDGE: Hello, thank you for calling Reginald T. Hedgehog’s Write Your Travel Tale Travel Agency, where we help you plot the beginning, middle, and end of your epic journey! How may I assist you?
Mmhhmm. I see. Well. We have a variety of services available that may suit your adventuring needs!
You can take a walking tour of the Folktale Forest, complete with a history lesson from yours truly.
You can purchase our Quest Package, and see Mythdom through the perspective of our most noble knights! (As an aside) And if you want a little extra excitement you can add on our Dangerous Duels package, or a cruise into the Foreshadow.
We offer interdimensional, multi-universe travel options. Oh! And I’m so excited to share that we’ve launched our newest service–time travel! (another aside) Just a warning that our Time Wizard hasn’t perfected her spell just yet, and you may be left in Once Upon a Time’s past or future for longer than planned. But do not worry! We always get our customers back to their present moment, one hundred percent guaranteed!
(A glimmering sound)
Oh! It looks like my interdimensional portal just opened up, and a few new clients are entering my office. So you think about those options and I’ll call you back to help make your travel dreams come true!
BUN-BUN: Wow! This really is a strange new world!
EZRA: I agree, Bun-Bun!
REDGE: Hello and welcome to Write Your Travel Tale Travel Agency!
BUN-BUN: Are you Reginald?
REDGE: The one and only! Redge the Hedgehog from the Land of Once Upon a Time!
BUN-BUN: Nice to meet you! I’m Bun-Bun.
EZRA: And I’m Ezra!
BUN-BUN: We’re two bunnies from the Land of Earth!
REDGE: (As an aside) Uh..but..Ezra…I have a best friend named Jonathan who is a human and you look very human like him…
EZRA: I just go along with it.
REDGE: (As an aside) Noted! (Back to everyone) It’s very nice to meet you both! What brings you two to my office today?
BUN-BUN: We were getting ready to hop off on an adventure to a brand-new place! You see, my bunny family and I love to go places we’ve never been, learn about them, and share our favorite facts about each location.
REDGE: Marvelous!
BUN-BUN: Anyways, we were packing up all of our supplies for our next trip when we found this flier outside our warren. It looks just like a ticket and it says -
REDGE: Come one and all to the Land of Once Upon a Time! Where Reginald T. Hedgehog will show you all of the wonder, delights, and magic of a strange new world!
BUN-BUN: That’s exactly right!
REDGE: Oh I’m so glad you found my promotional flier!
BUN-BUN: We did! And we followed the directions to the redwood tree and waited until the shadow of the nearest snail grew longer and then placed our right paws on the tree.
EZRA: A portal opened right up!
REDGE: Perfect!
Oh, I’m just so pleased you’re both here! I opened my travel agency because I love Once Upon a Time, and I want as many creatures as possible to experience its magic! So I thought I would help them schedule and plan trips around our wonderful land!
BUN-BUN: I love that! And it sounds a lot like what we do too, right Ezra?
EZRA: That’s right!
BUN-BUN: Spreading the good word about amazing places all over our world!
EZRA: Will you show us around some of Once Upon a Time, Redge?
REDGE: I would love to, new friends! It seems like you all are travel professionals.
BUN-BUN: We do know how to set off on an adventure!
REDGE: Maybe I can request your help as I show you around…
EZRA: We love to help!
BUN-BUN: What can we do for you?
REDGE: Well I was just thinking…I want to make some brochures for the office with tips on how to be a good tourist in a brand new place. Maybe you can share some advice from your experience?
BUN-BUN: Oh yes! We would love to! I love to talk about what I’ve learned about a place and how to interact with it with care and respect. And Ezra is an expert interviewer. He’ll know exactly what questions to ask to get the best tips out of every situation!
EZRA: I even have my recording gear!
BUN-BUN: That’s right! Because we were already getting ready to travel ourselves and discuss our new destination in-depth.
REDGE: All the stars have aligned! I’m so happy that you’re here to experience my favorite place in the world!
BUN-BUN: Before we start our trips we have something we like to say. Would you mind if I said it now to kick things off the bunny way?
REDGE: Please do!
BUN-BUN: BunnAmigos…
EZRA/BUN-BUN: Let’s get hopping!
(Transition hopping sounds)
REDGE: Welcome to our very first stop the -
BUN-BUN: Folktale Forest!
REDGE: Yes! How did you know?
BUN-BUN: Travel tip number one!
(Triumphant leveling up sound)
BUN-BUN: Always research your destination!
EZRA: Why is that so important, Bun-Bun?
BUN-BUN: Knowing a few important details about where you’re going can be so helpful!
REDGE: That is very wise!
BUN-BUN: You can learn the best places to stay, eat, or visit to fit your needs.
REDGE: Indeed, there’s always so much to do when you travel, so it also helps you decide what fun activities you might be most interested in!
BUN-BUN: Right! We love a good itinerary! And you can learn about very important resources in case you need help! Like local services and phone numbers that help travelers with any emergencies.
REDGE: Oh! Like my travel agency!
BUN-BUN: Exactly! Researching Once Upon a Time was not easy, it being a magical realm and all. But you did provide some great fun facts on the back of your flier that helped us prepare!
REDGE: (As if he’s taking notes) Fun facts…are…helpful. Got it!
EZRA: What’s your favorite part of the Folktale Forest, Redge?
REDGE: Ah! Excellent question! Well if you follow me just over here…
(Sounds of the outdoors, tweeting birds)
REDGE: This is the Wondering Path.
BUN-BUN: It’s so beautiful! The great big trees create just the right amount of shade!
REDGE: The birds are extra-musical!
(The sound of tweeting birds)
BUN-BUN: The breeze through the leaves is very melodic! Like the trees are singing along!
REDGE: And the sound of us walking is like a drum beat!
BUN-BUN: Such a musical place!
EZRA: What is the story of this place, Redge? Does it have to do with the music?
REDGE: Very astute, Ezra! The lore of the Wondering Path is that Folktale Forest residents come here to experience this magic forest symphony! They walk through here quietly to be surrounded by nature’s music. And the experience leads you to a place of WONDER! This is the perfect path for daydreaming. One of my favorite activities!
EZRA: How cool!
BUN-BUN: And! It leads me to travel tip number two!
(Triumphant leveling up sound)
Always remember to be respectful of other cultures and traditions when you travel! Sometimes we visit places where you’re instructed to speak softly or you’re asked not to touch art or exhibits. It’s so important to listen to those instructions and treat the places we visit with as much respect as possible!
REDGE: I agree! It also helps you learn and understand a place and its people even more.
BUN-BUN: Exactly, Redge!
REDGE: Travel tip noted! Now…Do you still have that ticket I left at the warren, Ezra?
EZRA: Right here!
REDGE: I asked our Time Wizard to enchant the ticket. It opens the portal to my office, but ALSO to a few other locations as well! Just so I can show guests a few more of the things Once Upon a Time has to offer!
BUN-BUN: Ooooo how exciting!
EZRA: Lets go!
REDGE: Just hold it up in the air, and we all hold on and say the exact same phrase at the exact same time while I think about our destination! And I think we’ve got a great phrase to say that you taught me earlier today!
BUN-BUN: Oh yes!
EZRA: I’m ready!
REDGE/BUN-BUN/EZRA: Let’s get hopping!
(Magical transition sound that fades into jaunty sea shanty music)
REDGE: Welcome to the Plot Hook! Arrrghhh!
BUN-BUN: Wow! Look at that huge ship! And the other one over there! …And another one!
REDGE: This is Once Upon a Time’s infamous pirate island, where swashbucklers hoist the sails! Batten down the hatches! Swab the poop deck!
EZRA: What does all that mean?
REDGE: ….You know, I’m not really sure. I just find all those pirate-y phrases fun.
EZRA: They are pretty fun!
BUN-BUN: I love the smell of the salty sea!
REDGE: And the fresh air!
EZRA: And…do I smell french fries?
REDGE: Oh you do indeed! For we have arrived at one of my favorite spots on the Plot Hook: Davy Jones’ Diner!
(The sound of a bell)
BUN-BUN: I love it here! Everyone seems like they’re having so much fun! And a bunny can really hop along to these tunes.
REDGE: Isn’t it the best!
EZRA: This menu is huge!
REDGE: Oh yes, a bountiful selection!
EDGARRR MATEY: Aye, me boy! The best food on these here shores!
REDGE: Captain Matey! Hello, my old friend! It is wonderful to see you! Oh what a treat!
EM: Reginald! How be the finest hedgehog in all the lands? How goes your adventuring through? Run into anymore ghost pirates, ey?
REDGE: Not yet, not yet. But I’m still pen pals with ol' Swashbuckle Joe!
EM: Aye? Well, I’m sure he loves hearin’ from ye a great deal!
REDGE: Captain Matey, these are my new friends Bun-Bun and Ezra!
BUN-BUN: Hello!
EZRA: Hi!
EM: Hello and so nice to meet ye fine folk! What brings you to this side of the Fantasea
BUN-BUN: We’re here to see some of Once Upon a Time and to learn about all of the amazing things going on here!
REDGE: And they’re teaching me too! All about how to be a good visitor to brand new places!
EM: Well that sounds great, Reginald! Can I hear one of yer travel tips?
BUN-BUN: I have the perfect one for this exact location! Travel tip number three!
(Triumphant leveling up sound)
BUN-BUN: Shop local!
REDGE: Tell me more!
BUN-BUN: It’s always great to visit local vendors, restaurants, artists, and more when you’re on a trip! You can help those places continue to thrive and flourish that way!
EM: Aye! Support all yer local businesses by fillin’ em with yer treasure!
BUN-BUN: That’s right! Even just going to see local shows and attractions will support the people who live and work in the place you’re visiting.
REDGE: So this was the perfect place to come for some lunch!
BUN-BUN: Yes! We get to see and experience the culture of the Plot Hook and give back to it at the same time. We love a good local haunt.
EM: Here here!
EZRA: There are ghosts here?
BUN-BUN: That just means a spot where people come hang out!
EM: Aye. But sometimes we do get some pirate ghost clientele.
EZRA: Awesome!
REDGE: (Like a pirate) ARRGGGHH!
EZRA: Captain Matey, can I ask you a question?
EM: Aye! Of course ya can!
EZRA: What’s your favorite dish on the menu?
EM: An excellent question laddy! Let’s see…I fancy the Buccaneer Buckwheat Pancakes!
REDGE: Oh those are a favorite! If you’d rather go more lunch than breakfast, I do love the Scallywag Spaghetti Special!
EM: I can’t arrrggghh-ue with that!
REDGE: After lunch, would you all like to go visit one more place?
BUN-BUN: Oh yes!
EZRA: That would be fun!
REDGE: Marvelous! Marvelous! Our next spot will be one of the most popular Once Upon a Time destinations…
(Magical transition sound that transitions into a few city noises)
REDGE: Litropia! Our big city! Here you will find the Gotta Dance Theater where creatures come to perform the most popular musicals and plays in the land! We’ve got George Washington Carver Community Garden, watched over by our very own Hedgewitch, Zinnia Fig! And another favorite of mine - the Halls of History Museum!
EZRA: What’s that?
BUN-BUN: Sounds fascinating!
REDGE: Oh it is! My best friend Jonathan has been sharing the stories of some amazing hidden figures from history and so the residents of Litropia, headed by yours truly, have been commemorating them in the great Halls of History. If you just step right over here…and turn left up here…aha! There it is!
BUN-BUN: Oh…my…goodness!!
EZRA: It’s so big!
BUN-BUN: And important looking!
REDGE: (Chuckles) We did want it to have a little oomph to it.
BUN-BUN: It looks like you can learn so much cool stuff in there!
REDGE: You can! We have so many great tales of heroes from your world. And we’ve started sharing the stories of Once Upon a Time residents who are out there changing the world and doing amazing things.
BUN-BUN: Just like you!
REDGE: Aww shucks!
EZRA: Let's go inside! I can’t wait to see!
REDGE: Onwards!
(Magical transition sound)
BUN-BUN: Ballerinas! Scientists! Athletes!
EZRA: Astronauts!
BUN-BUN: There are so many amazing people in here! I love all of these scrolls near the portraits that share so many facts about their lives.
REDGE: It is rather inspiring isn’t it?
EZRA: I feel like all of these people would be a lot of fun to talk to.
REDGE: I absolutely agree!
BUN-BUN: Learning about how they all changed the world around them reminds me of another travel tip! Travel tip number four, in fact!
(Triumphant leveling up sound)
Leave every place you visit better than you found it!
EZRA: Now that’s a great tip.
BUN-BUN: All of our tips today all come down to this! It can mean little things, like making sure all of your litter ends up in trash cans. It can also mean big things, like studying the culture surrounding you, lending someone a helping hand, or just taking in the sights without disturbing the environment around you. All these things can keep a neat place like this alive and well for the local population!
EZRA: And for future visitors!
BUN-BUN: That’s right!
REDGE: A marvelous tip! The best of them all!
BUN-BUN: Thank you so much for showing us around Redge, and for letting me share the things I’ve learned about being a good traveler.
REDGE: Oh it was my pleasure! I’m so glad you found my ticket and decided to take a trip to the magical land of Once Upon a Time!
And Ezra, thank you for asking us so many wonderful questions!
EZRA: Of course! But before we go…I do have one last tip to add to the list.
BUN-BUN: Oh? What’s that?
EZRA: Tip number five!
(Triumphant leveling up sound)
EZRA: Have FUN!
BUN-BUN: Ezra! You’re so right!
REDGE: Another essential tip!
BUN-BUN: Traveling is so fun! Remember to explore your interests and all the things that inspire you. Challenge yourself, get out of your comfort zone, and open up to new experiences you’ve never had before!
EZRA: We love a good adventure!
REDGE: Here here!
Now…one last thing before you head home…
BUN-BUN: What’s that Redge?
REDGE: There’s a really amazing ice cream shop just around the corner…
BUN-BUN: Oh count me in!
EZRA: Me too!
REDGE: Excellent! Shall we say it? Just one more time?
BUN-BUN: You bet!
REDGE/EZRA/BUN-BUN: Let’s get hopping!
JONATHAN CORMUR: This has been a jonincharacter production. Today’s story was written and produced by Molly Murphy. Special thanks to BunnAmigos, a travel guide podcast for kids, for helping us with this episode. Their characters in this episode include Bun-Bun performed by Kym Miller and Ezra performed by Ezra from the BunnAmigos Podcast. All other characters were performed by Jonathan Cormur. Sound recording and production for the episode by Jermaine Hamilton at Hamilton Studio Recordings. Contact us at dorktalesstorytime@gmail.com or try our new one-way text feature as a safe way to reach out. You can find a link at the top of our show notes. Now, go be the hero of your own story and we’ll see you next once-upon-a-time!
THEME SONG: So gather your squad for all to see. It's a universe that we've imagined. There's twists and turns and lessons learned. This is where the unexpected happens. Join our humble hosts and hit the trails of the wonderful, wacky, wild world of Dorktales.
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