The BS of boundaries in life. THIS will burn you out.

TUNE IN TO LEARN: 
 
The quote of the day: 
 
"You don't have a work you and a home you. 
You have one you." 
~ Dr John Medina 
 
Can you truly be your best self in all areas of life at once?🤔 
 
Join me as I unravel the complexities "one battery, one bucket" principle to avoid burnout and falling off the wagon, never reaching excellence because you pushed too hard. 
 
We'll confront the reality that attempting to juggle work, relationships, fitness, and personal growth simultaneously often leads to burnout rather than success. 
 
Learn about allostatic load—the hidden toll that stress takes on your body—and discover why setting overly ambitious goals might be sabotaging your progress. 
 
By honing in on one area at a time, you'll find the path to sustainable growth and a more fulfilling life. 
 
 
100% = 80% + 20% 
Where do you put your 80%? 
What's left for your 20%? 
   

In the latter part of our coversation, we turn the spotlight on recovery practices that are crucial for long-term wellness, especially for those with demanding lives like working moms and dads. 
 
Tune in to uncover how integrating these recovery methods into your daily routine can significantly enhance your performance and well-being AND your ability to take on more. 
 
Don't miss out on insights that could revolutionize the way you manage your life, energy and achievement.  
 
One you.  
No buckets.  
No boundaries.  

Transcript

Maximizing Your Life Potential

Speaker 1 0:00

Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of your Brains Coach podcast. My name is Angela Sharina, I'm your host, I'm your Brains Coach and it is my job here to bring to you all the most effective, useful, cutting-edge, interesting and applicable to your life, most effective tools brain-body tools, tools for self-management, for managing your health, your energy, your thoughts, your emotions and, most importantly, to produce the desired actions to create the right kind of impact so that you create the exact life experience and you leave a legacy and you live a fulfilling life. So that's a big aspiration of this podcast and we are doing it. One episode, one tool, one sometimes one thought and one emotion at a time. You know, folks, I'm a huge believer that one piece of wisdom, one piece of insight applied into your life can transform your experience, the results that you get, the person that you are in such a profound way. And I think what's very important and sometimes very elusive is for us to understand that applying new insights and practicing it is not the same as getting that initial spark of insight. We might understand, for example, like you can understand today, that you have one person to deal with everything in life, whether that's business, exercise, relationships, moving to another country doing some spring cleaning. Like you, have one person to deal with everything, not many multiple person that you bring to different areas of your life, and you need to treat your life and your resources and your recovery strategy accordingly. And you can understand this and it might make sense for you right away. But step and think are you applying that in your life? Or are you trying to be a hardcore entrepreneur or a career person, an executive, a leader, and taking care of everything and everyone at work in your professional area and then coming back home and giving your 100% there? Are you trying to do that? Because, if that's true, if you think about boundaries all the time and how you shouldn't bring work self to your home self, just like John Medina, one of the neurobiology, neuroscience professors reading books like Brain at Work and a lot of different books around brain health and how to work with our brain to enhance our life experience and results again. So he has a beautiful phrase you don't have a work cell and a home cell. You have one cell to deal with all of it. So you can realize that in a few seconds. But are you really applying that into your life? And if you do decide to apply that principle, then you'll have to slow down and figure out how to prevent yourself from making the same automatic, habitual responses that you've been doing for years.

Speaker 1 4:01

Now let's get to the context, to the content of our podcast today and this idea of allostatic load and where boundaries can backfire. I already started talking about that. You don't have a work self and a home self and relationship self and exercise self. A lot of clients who come to me, they have this aspiration I want to transform my life in all areas my business, my relationships, my fitness and exercise, everything. I'm going to be moving in all areas of this life and at the beginning they have this idea that they're going to move and change all of it at the same time. There is this beautiful quote by John Wooden, one of the top coaches, that you can do anything as long as you are okay with the idea to do it one thing at a time. So, yes, you can change and transform all areas of your life and some areas will flow, like the results. The positive effects will overflow and fuel other areas. But also, it is true that you cannot hope to start giving 100% to your relationships and to your exercise and to your career and to everything else in your life.

Speaker 1 5:27

The term allostatic load is something I believe everyone needs to familiarize themselves with. You have one bucket of stressors Exercise intense exercise, is a stressor. Relationships managing relationships might be a stressor, especially if you're trying to build something there to lead a lot of people to have the difficult conversations or to resolve a lot of issues. Now we have health and perhaps you are working on some health issues. We have things like poor sleep habits or poor nutrition habits. You might be managing your business and there is always something to you know. Gary Vee compares business to being a fireman there's always a fire to deal with and that's your job. That's what you chose to do for a living to solve other people's problems right, what entrepreneurship and business is. And so you deal with stressors there and then you decide to grow in all of this area and become an athlete and grow your business 10x and then transform your relationships and move to a new place and create a new circle of friends and I don't know, pick up a couple of hobbies and start studying intensely in this new area of expertise that you want to develop, like you have one.

Speaker 1 6:54

You. This is where a creating drawing boundaries will backfire. You don't have multiple identities. You do not have different you to bring to work into relationship, into business, into exercise activities, into your studying, into your leadership. You have one you.

Speaker 1 7:16

There is this principle that I've created. It's called one battery principle. You have one battery of resources and it has 100% charge, and if you want to give 80% of that to your exercise, you will not be giving 100% to your business and to your relationships. Or if you want to give 80% of that to your business, or if you want to give 80% of that to your business, you will not be giving 100% to your exercise program or your relationships or taking care of your health and working on different issues that might be present. You have one battery at 100% and if you give something 80%, you cannot give more than 20% to the rest of it. That's why great entrepreneurs they got peace, they accepted the fact that they're not going to be the best athletes.

Speaker 1 8:22

I think it's just the curse of our generation is that we have all this information and people excelling and working hard on all these different areas and we think, oh, I want to be like this person in fitness, I want to be like that person in business. I want to be like this person in relationship, and all of it at the same time. But this is a very, very ridiculous idea and not even one single person on earth did that like that. You look, let's say, at Elon Musk. He's an amazing engineer and business person, but how much time do you think he dedicates to his relationships and his health? He doesn't even have time to eat normally, work out or sleep normally to speak of it.

Speaker 1 9:04

So most of the greatest entrepreneurs, leaders, scientists, athletes they give the pursuit that becomes the world-class almost 100% and then, once they achieve certain milestones or certain results, then they switch to other areas, like Maria Sharapova, for example. She comes from the same place, she was born in the same place that I was born in and I met her and I read her autobiography An amazing athlete, but 30 years of her life well, you know, not all 30 years, but since she was like six years old till 30 or 30 help where she got a lot of support and also where she did not create additional stressors for herself and everything else. She did not start to develop business until she was out of business. Success and greatness leave clues. You cannot be great definitely not at the same time at all of the areas, like Serena Williams and all these other amazing athletes. They were athletes first and then they became business people and then they became leaders and then they dedicated more time to family.

Speaker 1 10:38

Again back to the saying of John Wooden you can do anything as long as you accept the fact that it's going to be one thing at a time. And I also wanted to mention that of how do you know if you are already pushing too hard in some areas or all of the areas? Very simply, just reflect on this question. If I were to tell you you have to continue at this pace for 100 days straight on, will you be able to do that? Or every day, you are waking up with this thought I'm exhausted, I'm drained, I need a vacation. But just when you wake up, take a couple of moments to just like check in with your body and see where you are. Do you want to wake up and get after it? And you're ready to go with no coffee, no supplements, nothing in you. Do you have this drive? Do you have this zest? And if you do, you're probably in a good place.

Speaker 1 11:38

And if you don't, and you just need a bunch of substances to just keep you going emotionally, mentally, physically then it might be the time to reprioritize, reassess your allostatic load, your bucket of stressors, and see where you need to scale down, to give more or to keep going at a faster pace and in some area and you kind of have to do proper recovery to be at that place of dust, of energy, of motivation every single day to be able to go as long as needed and go forever, till the end, till death. You know, life is an ongoing journey. There is no arrival. Arrival is death. And then some people would ask me well, isn't there a time for pushing and sprinting and giving like your absolute maximum, when you don't really recover 100% every day? And yes, there is the time for athletes, for entrepreneurs, for when you're working on your health or your relationships or your leadership expertise. There are these times.

Effective Recovery Practices for Wellness

Speaker 1 12:57

But again, reflect on that question Are you trying to run A marathon with a sprinting pace? Do you create, do you plan sprint, recharge, sprint type of dynamic, or you just sprint, sprint, sprint, sprint, sprint, sprint, sprint until forever and burning your candle out till you have nothing else to give? So pause for a moment and think about that? Reflect on that. Are you trying to sprint a marathon? Now to practical side of things. How do you recover better and well so you wake up fresh, ready to go with that zest and motivation for things in your life? Some of the core practices that you need to do on a regular basis that will help you to make your energy battery last longer and recover, recharge it faster so you can achieve more and do more, compared to perhaps poor recovery practices, where your recovery is just not there and you could be doing more but you don't put any time, any thinking, any planning into your recovering protocols and even your recovery.

Speaker 1 14:25

Your day off feels like a lot of work. A lot of women moms especially need work to be done on that front. For example, a lot of women, especially moms, would work full-time throughout the whole week and on their weekend would start organizing all these social events or things for their families and kids, and they never get time for themselves. Yes, they're off work officially, but they're still working and there is still planning and there are still later nights and there are still things they're taking care of and that's just going on and on and on and then back to work on Monday. So that is not recovery just because you have your day off work. So what are great recovery practices for any human being that you need to look into regularly, especially if you want to develop this marathon pace when you can go for the next 100 days or years and you'll be okay with that Regular sleep, seven to nine hours every day, not sometimes once a week, but every day Nature time.

Speaker 1 15:39

Nature is a very effective recovery protocol. So when you go into nature, especially into deeper nature, like wilderness, for example, or forest that is disconnecting from the city environment, you're going to recover and unload your stress a lot faster than if you were just to sit in the city environment or sit at home. Nature time, by the way, also the more of it, the better. But also you can expose yourself to nature in micro ways Like, for example, petting your dog or a cat or getting an animal, having a lot of plants and nature in the place where you live and where you work, doing work in the garden or even if it's mini garden, like have some sort of like a few square centimeter piece of land or like a pot with plants and you're taking care of that. It's also exposing yourself to nature, listening to bird music, also in research show or any really nature music, or looking at pictures of nature also do help to unload that stress more and better than not doing it.

Speaker 1 16:53

Breathwork is an amazing tool to switch your nervous system from the state of fight or flight to rest and digest, where your recovery happens a lot more effectively, where you start recharging your batteries versus just running your machine at high speed. Whereas breathwork don't underestimate the effect, the profound effect, on your recovery capacity. Breathwork after your workouts especially, do a few cycles of breathwork box breathing four, seven-8, breathing psychological side. Do that and you'll start recovery much faster and you're going to be more effective at that and that will allow you to have more resources to give to different areas of your life. So, even though I said you have one bucket, but that bucket can be enlarged with proper recovery practices. So the harder you go, the more you should spend time recovering.

Speaker 1 17:49

Journaling so amazing way to again switch your nervous system into state of rest and digest and to diffuse, to switch off that emotional, psychological stress that might be keeping your nervous system in that stressed state that doesn't allow you to recover. Labeling, journaling, writing about things that bother you, that disturb you emotionally and cognitively, helps you to de-stress, to unload that stress and start recovering Unprocessed stress. It's that what keeps your nervous system burning that candle at both ends. Breaks, taking breaks. It's not the same to work for, let's say, six hours straight than to work for, let's say, hour and a half and then taking 20 to 30 minute break. The quality of your work, your capacity to recover, your capacity to yes, do more work, deliver more results and endure more, will increase with smart breaks taken here and there, things like naps and yoga, nidra and all sorts of meditations and walking, especially in nature breaks Take breaks that will ensure better, greater results and that you can maintain long term the space of work.

Speaker 1 19:12

Exercise like moving, slower walking, doing some sort of yoga or Pilates, doing more gentle forms of exercise, is a great recovery practice. That's where movement can be your recovery protocols, whereas high intensity training, heavy weight lifting that is not recovery. That is adding to your stress bucket. Social connection, spending time with people who feel your bucket. It feels like your energy is being topped up when you're with those people. That's one of the most profound ways to recover faster.

Speaker 1 19:51

Nutrition having whole foods, having high quality foods, having a lot of fruit and vegetables, fish with omega-3s, high quality proteins, a lot of fiber, a lot of natural foods. It's an amazing way to recover. Your body uses nutrition to keep up with the stresses in your life, to keep your whole organism, your nervous system, running smoothly, and nutrients you consume from foods and from supplements help you to recover faster and better and more effectively. So nutrition can either be a stressor if you have poor eating habits or a stress-relieving recovery practice, and it's all up to you what you put on your plate. Hydration and supplements Drinking enough water is important for your recovery. Nothing runs smoothly when you don't hydrate well, when you don't have high-quality hydration, when you also don't have electrolytes. With that water, your potassium, your calcium, your magnesium, your sodium, your salt and taking supplements additional supplements, especially when you're going through a lot of stressors and a lot of workload in your life or load in other areas. Smart supplements by smart I mean children for you, specifically to address your specific situations, that work well for you. It's an amazing also tool that will help you to recover faster and boost and stretch, enlarge your stress bucket, your recovery bucket, and enlarge your energy reserve, enlarge your battery. That's what I wanted to share with you for today, guys. I hope now you see much more clear where you've been doing it wrong perhaps your recovery and setting boundaries where boundaries should not be set.

Speaker 1 21:53

You're one person. You don't have a work self and a home self. You have one self to deal with every single thing in your life on your plate. So give yourself some grace from time to time. If you're not easing and mastering relationships at the moment because you have too much going on in your business, that's okay. Too much going on in your business, that's okay. Yes, communicate it well. Yes, be clear. Yes, be respectful to people, but also explain to them that I'm going through a lot, there is a lot on my plane and I'm not able to deal with this perfectly effectively, and I need some slack in that area quickly, effectively, and I need some slack in that area. You got to be able to communicate that to yourself. Give yourself some grace. And to other people. You're one person. You don't have another one for all these areas of life, and so if some area requires 80% of you, you don't have another 80, you have only 20. So accept that for yourself and communicate it to other people.

Speaker 1 22:57

Your support system Nobody does it alone at a hardcore pace in this life. When you talk to successful people, you very soon learn and realize that they have a big, a vast support system that allows them to give so much to one or a few areas. That support system is what allows them to do so, not being some invincible superhero human being that can do it all in all areas. No such thing, no such person. You have one you, for home, for work, for exercise, for every single pursuit in your life. So distribute it wisely according with your priorities at this stage of your life.

Speaker 1 23:46

Hope this helps and you're going to implement the learnings, not just get an inside flash of insight and think that that's going to change you. That will not change you. You got to stop, reflect, put an action place in place. If you need more support, email me, angela at brainbreakthroughcoachcom. Let's get a session. Let's see how you can do better. Very often, having someone to talk about things, to reflect on things, to guide you, to give you more objectivity, is a superpower that will transform your results and will keep you accountable and give you all kinds of positive effects and bonuses. So reach out. Give you all kinds of positive effects and bonuses. So reach out, create your or enlarge your support system as well. That being said, time to wrap up. Have an awesome kind of midweek at least it is midweek for me. Have an awesome day. Rest of the week. Make sure you plan proper recovery and remember that you don't have many of you work you home, you exercise you, but you have one you to deal with everything. Talk to you soon. Have an awesome rest of the week.