Leading Change 101: creating growth mindset culture. Self, family, teams.

TUNE IN TO LEARN: 

Ever wondered what it truly means to grow up? 
Inspired by my riveting conversation with executive coach and author Jerry Colonna, we unravel the essence of adult transformation. 
 
Get ready to embark on a transformative journey with a comprehensive 10-step process designed to identify gaps in your current approaches and refine your goal-setting and execution strategies for lasting change. 
 
In this episode, we take a deep dive into the mechanics of setting and achieving goals across various aspects of life. 
 
Understand the significance of tracking leading and lagging indicators and celebrating milestones to keep your motivation high, as well as often missed systems of support and guardrails (most common reason for failure to change). 
 
Tune in for practical insights and inspiration to start your week with renewed energy and purpose. Plus, don’t miss the full interview with Jerry Colonna next Friday for deeper insights into effective adult leadership. 
 
P.S. If you're confused about where to start working on your change skillset or self-awareness, set up our TRY-ME COACHING session - let me walk you through the change process. 

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of your Brain's Coach podcast. My name is Angela Sharina, I'm your host, I'm your Brain's Coach and it is my job here to bring to you all the best recent, cutting-edge, most recent, effective, applicable to your life, brain-body tools so you could take better control of your emotions, of your thoughts, of your actions, so you could create the life experience that you absolutely love living, or get as close to it as possible every single day. Folks, today this morning, I had quite a few chats and conversations about change and maybe it was triggered by the interviewer I did with Jerry Colonna, an executive coach, someone who I aspire, who I look up to a lot. He's an executive coach, ceo, founder, coach and whisperer who makes executives and founders and CEOs, and he learned how to produce this amazing transformation in people, in teams, in cultures, in leaders, through his work, whether that's coaching, workshops, books, writings, podcasts so much work that Jerry does and I look up to and I'm inspired by and we well, I had the privilege to interview Jerry about his books, reboot and Reunion that I've recently finished, just around my birthday that were a gift such a gift because it helped me to get better answers for the questions that I got at this era of my life, at this stage of my life, which is I'm now 37. And I don't know if that's midlife or third life or whatever that is, but I'm definitely feeling that I'm embracing a new stage of my life. Jerry's work is so transformational, so timely, that I felt like I absolutely had to not only read his book and be exposed more to his work, but also to interview him for my podcast and to ask the questions that I had. While I still have and working on, while going through this transformation or transition from one area or one stage of my life to the next one, I had to interview Jerry to ask the questions, to have the conversation that I want you to have and the answers I want you to have, and also, obviously, pick up his books. But the interview that we did with Jerry is going to be uploaded to your Brain's Coach podcast next Friday, so in a week from now. And this conversation that happened yesterday triggered all these conversations and chats on my social media and with my friends and my clients, conversations and chat around change and becoming a fully developed adult.

Speaker 1 3:37

Here's what Jerry Colonna writes in his book Reboot Leadership and the Art of Growing Up, about discovering the adult within us, as Jerry puts it the capacity to face fears, to care about ourselves and others in a rare and potent balance, to be radically honest, to inquire within and to listen to others. We discover that adult capacity in all its poignancy and tenderness and we bring it into the light of the day and we nurture it and we help it grow. During our conversation with Jury, I shared this memory from my distant childhood that his books re-triggered in me, made me remember and relive, and the childhood memory of me making the choice that I wanted to make but then hiding under the actual porch from the consequences, not wanting to face the world with its frictions and possible conflicts with my parents and teachers. Right, and then this pattern I carried through my life, making the choices that I wanted to make and not being upfront and direct and open about them. And very often because of that, jerry, and the lesson, the pattern that it had inside and how, in order to become, to discover the adult within myself and to show up as a fully capable, developed and effective adult in my life, I needed to process this pattern and start making different choices, the choices that are more aligned with the adult that I've become and the future me that I'm creating every single day, and with the vision of the life that I have for myself, not going through the same patterns of my childhood over and over and over again, but instead creating new behaviors and patterns that serve my life, the vision of self and my life much, much better.

Speaker 1 5:55

So that's upcoming in the conversation that we're going to publish next Friday, but here today I wanted to give you value in a form of giving you the process of change that I've discovered, developed, learned from different sources, for setting your goals, reflecting and looking into your options and then seeing where reality is and that, what can be done, based on, again, your goal, your options and reality right. So what I learned is this process is not complete, a lot of missing pieces that are missing and, because of that, so many of us just stumbling through change and not changing as fast and as effective as we could. If we knew the full process, if somebody spelled out for us the whole process of change, whether you're trying to change your health, your career, your relationship. So the process is a little bit more complex, the process that takes into account the full human as you are with your environment, your relationships, your commitments, your social interactions, with what's happening, with your emotions, your thinking. So here today. So stay tuned, pay attention and, when you have an opportunity if you're driving and doing something right now, when you have an opportunity really listen to this specific message chapter of this podcast episode. So and note it, write it down and think about the change that you want to create in your life right now. Think about just one change, choose it and then go through this process, this 10-step process of change, and see where you have gaps and where you don't have enough clarity, where you don't have the process fully established, and you might find, realize the reason why you've been failing to create this change or why you've been so slow and why it's not exactly working as effectively as you'd like it to work. So the process of change. But before we jump into the process of change, let's quickly recap or reiterate something that you might not also think that often about.

Speaker 1 8:30

So what does it mean to be an effective adult in our time and in any time? Effective adult in our time and in any time. What does it mean to be an effective human who can create change, process change and adapt and learn to get more and more effective in different areas of your life. So an adult knows his purpose, values and meaning of their lives at this very moment. An adult has goals. An adult has a system of setting the goals, of setting priorities and managing their time and work-life integration effectively in order to fulfill that purpose. An adult has skills of effectiveness, meaning knowing how to be productive, how to be effective with the action that you take, how to be effective at work, achieving different outcomes in all areas of life, outcomes that are based on goals, on purpose, on priorities and values. And then an adult has in place systems to maintain well-being, wellness and thriving mentally, physically, emotionally, relationally, purpose goals, effectiveness, well-being. You need to have systems in place in order to be effective in life, systems to create and maintain those things purpose goals, effectiveness, well-being and in order to create great outcomes in those areas. You need to have a change process that is effective, that's working for you. And here are 10 steps I learned, assembled, figured out through studying from the best coaching institutions, the best coaches, like Jerry Colonna, with decades of experience, from my personal experience as a coach, starting 15 years ago in fitness, in personal training and then now getting into executive coaching and productivity coaching and working with companies and executives and leaders teams on all levels. So here's a 10-step process that I learned works the best and produces outcomes you desire every single time in a very effective manner. And how fast you go well depends on where you start and what kind of energy and time commitment you have and how important that change is. So, 10-step process of change management how to create change effectively and make it last.

Speaker 1 11:18

Number one clarify the goal in any area. What it is are you trying to achieve? How will you know that you got there, whether that's financial or how the relationship? What is the outcome? What is the vision? Make it clear, not just fuzzy, like I want to get healthier or want to have better relationships. That is not a goal, that is an aspiration, a thought. You need to clarify what's the outcome. How will you know that you're going to get there? What are the numbers, Even if they are subjective numbers, like the feeling there? What are the numbers, even if they are subjective numbers, like the feeling? You have to understand what's the end goal is. You have to quantify it, clarify it.

Speaker 1 12:04

Step number two identify skill practice gaps. Answer the question why aren't you there already? You want to have that state whether you're in a financially healthy relationship, like why aren't you there already? What are you not doing which is not leading you towards that outcome? What's missing in your practices and skills? Gather start data. Understand where you start. You cannot track progress if you do not accept and if you don't know where you stand right now. Weight loss is the easiest example. If you want to lose weight and be at a certain number, well, you kind of have to know where you start so you can track the progress and adjust your actions based on the result that you're getting right. Are you getting there or not getting, or you're stuck? So gather your start data, capture it. That's very important. Qualify your end point. Where are you trying to get? What's the number? Again, that can be subjective, like, obviously, for weight loss goal it is a number, but for things like I want to get healthier, what exactly does it mean? Is it a feeling? Some of my clients set a more subjective goal I want to feel fit, vibrant, full of life. And then we take that statement and we ask ourselves okay, where are you now? And on the scale of one to 10, where are you now Two, three, four, five and where do you want to get? And then we describe in more detail the starting point and the end goal Schedule, practices and actions.

Speaker 1 13:47

You don't get the outcome without changing your behavior and outcome and goal. It's actually a byproduct, a side effect of you doing certain things differently and consistently. So you've got to match your schedule, your calendar, with your new goals, change and aspirations. And for a lot of goals you also have to understand that a lot of things you will have to maintain for life in some form or fashion. It's like taking a shower If you want to be clean, you've got to take it daily. Or if you want to have great teeth, you've have to maintain for life in some form or fashion. It's like taking a shower If you want to be clean, you got to take it daily. Or if you want to have great teeth, you got to brush them daily. Now, obviously, you don't need to go to a dentist every single day, but there are certain practices that you need to do regularly to maintain a quality that you aspire to.

Speaker 1 14:33

Then, number six track progress. Keep yourself accountable, measure leading and lagging indicators and adjust what you do as you go, based on the goals that you have and based on the results that you get. So, leading and lagging indicators. Leading indicators are those actions that you put in. For example, you want to get healthier. If you need to update your exercise regime, what do you do daily, weekly, monthly, etc. Usually daily for this specific goal? And what are the lagging indicators? Does your heart rate, resting heart rate, improve? Does your heart rate variability improve? Does your sleep improve? What are the outcomes? The lagging indicators? Leading is what you put in, lagging is what you get out, not the result, but the indicators of the progress towards the result.

Speaker 1 15:33

Number seven celebrate milestones To keep your motivation high. Folks, human brain is not great with long-term motivation. What research shows is your motivation is lowest in the middle. So your task with milestones and celebrations to make that middle shorter. So, instead of setting a six-month goal or even longer and then forgetting about that, you need to break it down into milestones that will show you that you're moving closer towards that goal and that will you will celebrate and that will boost your dopamine, re-engage your nervous system in this way. That's going to boost your feeling motivation and that also going to boost your energy levels when your brain understands and knows that you are getting closer towards reward, you actually start feeling more motivated. That's how human and not just human, by the way brain and nervous system works. Brain is a part of our nervous system. Break down your bigger, longer goals into smaller and smaller milestones, so you get the boost of dopamine, so you do feel more motivated and energized. So celebrate milestones Number seven, number eight create support systems.

Speaker 1 17:04

Make the thing that you need to do to get to your goal, the only visible, the easiest thing, the only possible in the ideal life scenario. All that with a purpose, to use your willpower, which is limited and gonna fail you on many, many occasions. Creating support systems, figuring out people who can help you, who can keep you accountable, figuring out your systems for eating, moving, work so you're consistently productive. Support systems are those things again that can be people, that can be physical environment, that can be certain default choices, can be systems, electronic systems, like, for example, having a certain it's kind of like having a certain limit on your daily spending. You can set that limit on your card, whether that's debit or credit card, and then now it will not allow you to go beyond that limit and so when you're feeling like overspending. You have that limit that will make you think twice about whether you really need it or not. That will literally stop your worst behaviors from happening when, again, your willpower and your better thinking fail you. So that's what we mean by support systems.

Speaker 1 18:33

That's where a lot, a lot of people actually fail because they rely on their willpower, they rely on their feeling good about their goals. They rely on their high energy levels to keep pursuing their goal. Do not rely on those things. They are failable. You cannot rely on them. They are undeliable. They cannot support you. Instead, create solid systems that do not have moods, low energy or willpower. They just work kind of like a limit on your credit card. So what's your support system? And, most importantly, what's your guardrail system, what a lot of my clients love? What are those things that will stop you from doing your worst when you're not feeling that great right? So, eight create a supporting system. That's what fails 99% of my clients.

Speaker 1 19:26

Number nine check in and reflect Regularly, assess your process, your progress and how effective the actions you take are. Schedule that check-in and reflect daily, weekly, monthly, whatever makes sense for that specific goal and to make you effective, to make the change that you are pursuing effective Number 10, connect with your purpose regularly. Why do you do what you do? Why is this change important? How does it add to the bigger, wider, more important picture of your life? Understanding your why, boosts your motivation, boosts your energy, boosts your dopamine, the molecule that creates energy and drive for action. Understanding your deeper purpose, your why, the reason the reward for action will make you or break you.

Speaker 1 20:24

People who have the strongest connection to their values, their deepest reasons for action, who understand very clearly why they do what they do, those are the people whose motivation never seem to fail. So connect with your purpose regularly, especially in the moments when you feel like your motivation starts going down, your mood starts going down. Remind yourself why you started. When it gets hard, remember why you started. It actually rooted in your sense, in the way your nervous system and brain work, and it helps you remembering why you started to boost your dopamine, boost your motivation, boost your energy and to keep going in the hardest, lowest moments. And there you have it a 10-step process to make your change process, if not bulletproof, then pretty damn effective, based on the best practices science, neuroscience and psychology and behavioral sciences. Based on the best practices again in coaching industry, not just mine, but a lot of other coaches who I'm learning from, who I got exposed to throughout my 15 year career now. So use it, release into sit down with the change you're trying to create and go through this 10-step process.

Speaker 1 21:54

Let's recap the process. Number one clarify the goal. Number two identify skill practice gaps. Number three gather start data. Number four quantify your end point Schedule.

Speaker 1 22:09

Number five schedule practices and actions. Number six track progress. Number seven celebrate milestones. Number eight create support system. Number nine check in and reflect. Number 10, connect with your purpose.

Speaker 1 22:26

So do you have all these elements in place for the change you're trying to create personally, in your family, in your team, in your company?

Speaker 1 22:35

And, if you don't sit down, brainstorm how you're going to implement the missing pieces and, by the way, if you would like some help with this process?

Speaker 1 22:47

So you have someone to reflect back to you your thinking, to clarify it, having someone to talk you through, to walk you through the process, your thinking being present there for your thinking, your inquiry. It is very, very, very effective and beneficial to the process of creating an effective change. So there's a link in the show notes to set up our Try Me coaching session where you can do exactly that Go together through the process of creating change in any area that you feel is very important and essential right now. So use the link in the show notes to set up our Try Me coaching session, or give it to someone else who needs to make their process, their process of change, more effective. And thanks, guys, for listening, thanks for tuning in this week. I'm wishing you the best weekend it can possibly be Reflect, restore, recharge to then restart, reboot and start the next week fresher, better and more of an adult that you'd like to be. Talk to you very soon and have an awesome weekend.