Redefining Self-Care Through the Latine Lens: Unapologetic Growth and Self-Discovery

Have you ever caught yourself thinking that self-care is just an indulgent trend? Spoiler alert: it's not, and 'Have a Cup of Johanny' is here to redefine it with a season dedicated to unapologetic growth and self-discovery. We're peeling back the layers of self-love, especially through the Latine lens, debunking the myth that taking care of oneself is selfish. Instead, we're celebrating our bodies as temples that deserve holistic nurturing—from mindful nutrition to embracing medical wisdom. This episode is a candid invitation to honor every dimension of your being, and it's a call to action for everyone to prioritize self-care as a vital practice for our well-being.

This season's inspiration comes from Raquel Reichard and other contributors of "Self-Care for Latinas: 100+ Ways to Prioritize and Rejuvenate Your Mind, Body, and Spirit" (buy here), who bravely challenge us to shrug off the heavy cloak of cultural expectations and generational burdens. We're cracking open the transformative potential of journaling, not just as a diary but as a means of emotional exploration and a compass for navigating life's stressors. Then, as we turn the spotlight on hobbies and creativity, I share personal epiphanies about how these pursuits are not merely leisure activities but vital components of our mental maintenance. So tune in, take notes, and let’s embrace the rejuvenating power of self-care together.

Enter a world of fear, resilience, and generational trauma in "The Devil That Haunts Me". Follow Isabella and Julitza as they confront their demons in a tale of suspense, mystery, and the supernatural.

Explore the first seven chapters here

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Welcome to this new season of have a Cup of Joani podcast. In this season, we are embarking on an exciting journey, one of shameless learning. We're tossing out the fear of judgment and embracing curiosity with open arms, whether it's exploring new ideas, tackling challenging topics or learning from our missteps. We're doing it all without shame or inhibition. Can't wait for y'all to listen to this. Hello everyone, we are in the first day, the first Wednesday, I should say of February.

Speaker 1: 0:48

After I recorded the last episode, I was like what theme? Because I'm trying to focus more on themes when I look at these months and I'm planning the recording calendar for have a Cup of Joani and I was like why not do self-love and all those things that are part of loving ourselves? And, coming from a Latine community, it is hard sometimes, especially as a woman, to love yourself Because the cultural expectations are to sacrifice the love of self so that way you can give that to others. That's how I was raised and from talking to other Latinas, it seems that that is very prevalent in our culture, regardless of the various Latin American countries that they come from. We seem to have that in common, which is sad, but I'm hopeful that as we become more self-aware of those things, that we are embarking on a growing journey to outgrow them and, in essence, that's what I'm doing with this podcast. So I'm hoping that other people that resonate with this whether you're in Latina or you're of another ethnicity or race or come from another culture, but you find it hard to love yourself or to care for yourself I hope that when you listen to these episodes, you learn something, and I hope it encourages you to take the first step to self-care. So that is what we're talking about today. Well, that's the focus. Today. We're going to talk about just the misconception of self-care, because it's not just about bubble baths and face masks, which, to be honest, right, those are pretty awesome and I do like it and I do feel like super nice and super chill after I do that, after I do a bubble bath and then I wax and then I do my face mask and all of that. But it's just, it's a little bit more nuanced than that and I really want you all to understand that it is not selfish, but it's essential. Are you all ready for this? All right, let's go.

Speaker 1: 3:32

So, self-care or self-love, when you look at it, it's a holistic thing. It's mind, body and soul. It's how do we take care of that? The essence which is us and I'm sorry if you hear this, that's my jacket because my studio is in the garage and it is really cold right now. In Kentucky we actually have like a half an inch of snow outside and some ice and all of that. So that's why I was like I'm going to record, I'm going to do the right thing here, record, but I'm going to put on my jacket because I don't want to move all this equipment inside and do all of that. So in a little bit I'm just accommodating for me, not wanting to put the effort to put in all my equipment inside the house, which I have already established in the garage. But I digress Mind, body and soul.

Speaker 1: 4:37

Let's start with our bodies, because that's usually what we see, that's usually where our attention goes towards, just because it's so prevalent, it's so visible to us Oftentimes. The mental and then the soul we don't really focus too much on most of the time. I know for me, in my experience, I didn't. It was the body that I focus on and I tried to hide away from my emotional for the longest and focus on my physical more. So, since that is more of a focus for most of us. That's why I wanted to start with that, with the physical, so the way that I see it right. So a long time ago let me start with that a long time ago I read, and I have constantly heard, this quote of like the body is your temple. When you hear something like that, as a young person, with the little experience that you have, right, and then the emotional capacity that you have at that time and the wisdom that you have at that time, it's for me it was hard to grasp. It was really hard to grasp Like I understood what a temple was. I understood that, yes, the body houses my organs and, if I'm looking at it spiritually, my spirit, my soul, so it's my temple because of that and I must treat it well. But well, right, well is so subjective because I'm a child of the 80s. I'm a child of the 80s, so you know those videos, the what is it? The thymaster and all that other stuff. Yes, I do saw that I had the double neon socks that went right below my knees, that I scrunch up and I were underneath tights and all of that.

Speaker 1: 6:38

So I understood physical as going to the gym and being fit, while just taking out anything that had to do with nutrition or anything else that had to do with caring for the physical body that houses my soul. And then, when I took a look at working out, for example, I had a very unflexible view about that. I really just thought of you have to go to the gym or you have to get out, lace up some sneakers and run. It was very narrowed point of view that I had when it come to physical health. But what I didn't understand is just how much it is to it. It's more than just the gym. It's more than just getting a pair of Nike's and going out of the run. It's more about listening to your body, to see what is going to affect your body, to see what is affecting it, assess that something is affecting it and then trying to identify what it is. And that has to do with understanding self and seeking professional help and going to get seen, asking for tests from medical providers.

Speaker 1: 8:01

You don't understand how much I hate hospitals. I hate hospitals, people. It is just ugh, and I think it may have to do with just the lingering trauma that is still there because, as a child and a Latine family, I was responsible for caring for my grandma who was sick with cancer. Eventually she died and that was the one person that was her personal translator, her personal nurse and all of that. So I had to go through a lot of things and see a lot of things at a very young age and for to this day I have just a kind of negative connotation when it comes to hospitals. I just I don't want to be in them, I don't want to be a patient in them. So I got to go against myself to make sure that I do visit these places, because I do need it right as I'm getting up there in age.

Speaker 1: 8:58

I need to make sure that I am doing regular tests, I am doing regular screenings to make sure that I catch things early on, but also that I am listening to my body, because that's something that we don't really talk enough about when it comes to physical, it's about how big a role listening to our bodies play, because that's where it all starts. But I think a lot of the times I know from experience I kind of tuned out that voice because I didn't want to hear it, because then that meant that I would have to go get myself checked, and I will have to go through the dreaded doors of a hospital and a wait line and all that other stuff. So it is something that I am learning. This is not something that I have learned, as it is with some of my episodes that I talk about, with some of the lessons here, this is more of an ongoing I wouldn't call it a struggle but just an ongoing self-coaching and self-growth for me, so that way I can, once I listen to my body, I can make the actions necessary, so that way I can make that feeling better or go away or ease it at the very least. But I think that's something I don't know if you're like me that we should work on, and I have found that meditating helps to be present, and presence then being present in the present moment, helps me then to tune into my physical body. So you see how like things are interconnected here when it comes to self-care, because I just said right, so meditating helps. Meditating most likely you're gonna find when people are talking about healthcare for the mind, healthcare for the soul, but I would say it's also for healthcare for the physical body, because I'm telling you I am a recent convert to meditation and because of that I am so present in the now and in my body that I am more apt to listen to shifts, to changes and to sense it Because it is there.

Speaker 1: 11:34

I just think, like I said before, we tune it out, right, but going further into the physical, physical doesn't have to be the gym, doesn't have to be a run, like I said before. It could just be going to a dance, having a dancing club, being part of a salsa group. You know, growing up I was like I'll tell you, it was just like all I knew was like gym, jane Fonda, or run, that's it. That's it. That's how you take care of your physical body. But I just I discounted everything else that I was doing, naturally, whether it was dancing, whether it was hiking, walking the mall I used to go window shopping quite a lot, right, when I had my kid pushing that stroller as I was going to sightsee some places or whether it's doing chores around my house. Believe it or not, that doing chores, because I used to have Saturdays, used to be like my cleaning day, because that was the one day where I still had energy left and I was like let me get after the cleaning of the house, because it's not gonna clean itself right. So Saturdays were that day where I just went up and down. I had my caddy with me and I will go and clean every single room. I've gotten better now. Now it's a schedule. My husband helps and now we tackle things throughout the week. But back then, when I was a single mom, I just had that one day and that's how I tackled it.

Speaker 1: 13:14

But even that, when you think about it, that helps with the physical, because there's movement there, there's pushing, there's bullying, scrubbing you know how many calories you burn scrubbing oh my goodness, so much, okay, so much. So it's about really conscious and intentional movement. That's how I see it. So if you're thinking, like me back then, that it's just the gym, it's just this very drastic kind of movement. It is not, it is not. And even on, is it on TikTok? On TikTok I followed this creator. She does movements from the chair and she moves her arms, she moves her legs, she does the dance and it's just like. I'm like. I can't believe. I never like that, never went through my mind, I never thought of that. But that is movement as well. You see what I'm saying. So don't disregard the movement just because it's small. That's such like a plaque or white way of thinking about it.

Speaker 1: 14:25

Movement is movement and that's how I have learned to take care of my physical health and it has really helped me. This is the last thing I'm gonna say about this, but it has really helped me to be kinder to myself during vacations, because I have created such a habit and when I'm like in a habit people I am in a habit I can be very strict with myself, which then other people around me sense that when it comes to my habits, like once they're hardwired, I'm doing it and that's how it is. When it comes to fitness with me and unfortunately when I go on vacation there's not always a gym around I try to book hotels with gyms, but that doesn't always work out. Sometimes they don't, or sometimes the gym is not working and whatnot. So what I have learned to be kinder to myself when it comes to that is to just insert activities, sprinkle activities through there that are physical activities. Or I tell my husband hey, let's park a little further out, let's park in these free parkings like two blocks out, and then we will walk to the museum, we will walk to that activity and then we get to walk as well in the museum, or I insert hikes and there are things of that nature. So that way we have intentional movement throughout our vacation time, and it's intentional but gentle movement, I should say, and that is the kindest thing, not just for my body but for everyone around me and their bodies as well. All right.

Speaker 1: 16:14

So in the realm of self-care there's also like you heard me saying, it is that mental and emotional self-care, mm. With this one, like I told you at the beginning, I completely disregarded mental and emotional self-care. Let me just be brutally honest and blunt with you. I was really focused on the physical, because that's what everybody saw, and the vanity, ego and all of that. Right. The mental and emotional, since people don't really can't see that with their eyes, but they can see it with their third eye, they can sense it, but I wasn't in that level yet, right. So because of that, I really disregarded my mental and emotional state until recently, my late 30s and now early 40s. I am completely bought in, I am wholeheartedly in, and we are doing this like we are taking care of our mental and emotional.

Speaker 1: 17:28

And I just bought this book. Let me look it up real quick Self-Care for Latinas 100 plus ways to prioritize and rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit, by Raquel Richard or Raecard, and Asada Jones and others. And this small book it's a small book so really you can read it, I would say, like in one sitting, or two or three, depending on your speed no shame, remember. No shame in your reading speed. And it has already given me so many nuggets of wisdom because it has been there very relatable advice when it comes to the mental and emotional self-care strategies, because it advocates for us to think outside of the cultural boxes that we have found ourselves in due to the racing of our Latino parents and then the trauma there right, that just was handed down from generation to generation.

Speaker 1: 18:46

And when I'm reading this book I'm always challenged to break away from that mentality. And there's been just things in there that have made me stop and question some things and, for example, like it was something in there about hey, if, if you don't want to do something, you don't have to, you don't have to be guilt-tripped, because that's a big thing. And I can only speak for my culture because that's the one I embody and live in. Even though I'm aware of others and I've been around others, I'm not an insider in those, so I try not to talk about those as if I am. So that's why I say that. But in my culture, the Latinx culture, we are often guilt-tripped into talking to that, the talking to that, the giving hugs when you don't want to, and things of that nature.

Speaker 1: 19:58

And when the author put that in this book, I was like I just went back in time as a kid to parties, festivities, because something about a Latinx party we're gonna party, we're gonna party, we're gonna have a lot of food, we're gonna dance, it's gonna be good music, you're gonna wear your best clothes and you're gonna sit on your couch in la sala and look cute there. But the author really challenges that. What I was holding on to, what I thought was okay, because that's how I was raised and that's how I was brought up as a child, and I was like you know what? You're right, you're right. I shouldn't be guilt-tripped into doing something that I don't want to do Now. On the same token, it doesn't mean that I need to be an asshole, right when I'm saying no or anything like that, but I can assert myself and do that and say no to certain things so that way I can protect my mental and emotional being because it affects it.

Speaker 1: 21:15

It's so complex, right, because I keep going back to how intertwined the physical and the mental are. So you see, so like doing physical activities, kind of like against your internal will, it's gonna mess up with your mental and emotional. And if you do that plenty of times, it's almost like you're telling yourself, I don't matter. It's almost like you're telling yourself like it doesn't matter what. I think you know you're gonna do, what this other person is making you do or guilting you in to do it, because just your feelings about it don't matter. And the way that I see that is that if you do that enough times right, I talked about that awareness then it's almost like you start tuning your own self out, your own voice out, and you stop listening, and then it'll get like it will shrink, shrink, shrink. It will get less loud, it'll become a whisper and then you won't be able to hear yourself, to gauge yourself, to sense yourself, because you have told yourself so many times that it didn't matter how you felt about certain things. You were just gonna go through with it and do it. So you see how pervasive that can be. Yeah, so we gotta guard our mental and emotional.

Speaker 1: 24:54

Something else that I have learned when it comes to my mental and emotional is journaling. People listen to me when it comes to journaling. Listen to me. This is the year you explore your emotions. I'm doing that. I'm telling you every single time I feel something, or someone or something rubs me the wrong way, I'm grabbing my journal app and I'm writing it down like no filter, writing it down and then I'm able to reread it, not at that time because feelings are high, but later on.

Speaker 1: 25:35

And then I'm starting to see patterns, I'm starting to see themes, and you don't understand how freeing that is, because now I understand that when someone says something that provokes a rejection trauma that I have or provokes bullying trauma that I have, and when I'm able to identify those things, then I am able not just to protect myself from it, but I'm able to navigate through it when it happens again. Because so here it is, I go back to being present right, because I have started to learn how to be present in my body. I hear my voice and then I'm able to tell myself this is all happening, live inside of me. I can't see this, but I can tell myself oh shit, johnny, remember that one time that you got mad when somebody said this word or somebody was using this tone. But when you looked at it you got mad because that's attached to this trauma from way back when, when you was a kid, you see. And then when I say that it's like it's not magical, right, I just that's like the best word that I can use because I break out of it.

Speaker 1: 27:04

The emotion no longer has that hold on me. I'm able to regulate a little bit better, or at the very least I'm able to separate myself from that emotion and what's causing that emotion. So that way I can regulate myself. You see how I'm connecting the things here. So I'm telling you people, this is the year, this is the year Okay, and it's so much more.

Speaker 1: 27:33

So don't think, like I did, that when we're talking about mental and emotional health care or care, I'm sorry, but it is health, it's part of your health care. That I'm just talking about therapy or I'm talking about meditation. It's. It's way more than that. While it does right, therapy and meditation is part of it, that's not the only thing. That is part of that. Journaling, reading, that digesting that reading. It is book clubs, book clubs, book clubs. I want to say it's going to lead on to my social self care bit that I'm going to say because it's I find it that is in between that emotional and and so health care.

Speaker 1: 28:25

Because through books you are able to see yourself not just in fiction characters, but you're able to see yourself in nonfiction things as well. If you read a self development book, if you read a historical book, if you read a memoir, you're going to be able to identify some things that you see in that book, in your life or in your past or in your experiences. And when you make that connection, that right there taps into your emotional and into your soul as well, because that's a connection that you just made with someone else, whether it's a fictional character or a real life person. And this leads me into the social self care. I'm a bookish person, so for me, book clubs are awesome. Right now I can only do them virtually just because of the time constraints that I have. But if you're, if you're not, into book clubs, there's so many dancing groups, fitness classes, and that way you can tap into your physical and your social self care. All that once it can be that you have date night with your girlfriends or your friends, and that is part of your social self care. Be your social beings.

Speaker 1: 29:47

Let's not ever forget that we are social beings, so connection is very important to us. I read somewhere that I don't know if they say that the newest generation, this generation I don't know what letter they're on but this generation is the loneliest generation and they were getting sad and depressed over that. And I don't know if that is because the newest generation and a few prior to that they grew up with phones or tablets really at a very young age and they have lean more on the virtual connection than they have on the physical connection. But they are studies that show that the priority, when it comes to which one fills our love bucket more, it will go to physical, to actual one-on-one connections as beings, as living beings. That's the one that we really thrive on. But I don't shit on digital connections either, because I think they're also vital and very important. I just think that we need to follow up those and either try to work into physical one, a personal one-on-one right Don't be creepy, people, don't be creepy or you can do a one-on-one in a more direct role.

Speaker 1: 31:22

For example, I have friends which I have never met. I have friends that I have only interacted through social media, but with those friends I've been able to have one-on-one conversations, either through direct chat or either through WhatsApp or things of that nature, and that fills my love bucket because I just connected with that person. And that person is real. I heard their voice right, I saw them type. It was their text message and so forth. You see what I'm saying. So to me that's like if scientists are saying that physical connection is like number one, I will say one-on-one digital connection is one B. I wouldn't put it at two. And I say that because for some people that is all that they have. That is the only access to that social self-care that they have. It's just through the digital space. Whether it be because of condition, because of socioeconomic status or whatever, that is all that they have. But I think, like I said, it's a way of making those connections quality connections.

Speaker 1: 32:41

I don't think that the researchers, the scientists or maybe I just didn't read it correctly really went deep into seeing how these connections were for them to assert that young people are more depressed because they're lonely and that is occurring because of the digital spaces that they're in. Perhaps, if they would have gone deeper into it and found that the group of individuals they had thousands of followers, but those connections were superficial, which we all know. They exist even in real life. We have those friends that are kind of like more like frenemies than anything else that we don't really trust. But we talk with, chit chat, but we don't ever share with them anything personal or anything deep, just because that level of trust is not there. The same thing occurs in the digital space. We may have a thousand followers, but maybe we haven't made a real connection with any of that, maybe the connections that we have made are all superficial. That's what I'll say about that.

Speaker 1: 33:48

When it comes to social self-care, I think digital social connections count. I count them. I think I will say that the quality of them is what makes a difference, not whether they're just digital or physical. So take that All right, which leads me to, leads me to creativities and hobbies. This is part of self-care. People, let me tell you. Let me tell you a story. So Thank you so much.

Speaker 1: 34:34

As y'all have heard me, I was a single mom for the longest. I'm in the Army. Being a single mom and the Army, being a soldier, is not the easiest thing to do. I made it through, thank goodness. Don't know how that happened half the time, but I made it through. But here's the thing In route to making it through I lost a lot of myself, but I made that sacrifice because it was a bigger goal that I wanted to achieve. So it's almost like I had to take that risk and then walk through that fire, so that way I'm able to get through to the other end and be where I'm at now.

Speaker 1: 35:13

I just wish that I would have made time for some creativity work. I think if I would have been a little bit more self-aware now and I don't want to look into the past too much and judge, because I got to move forward, but just for lessons learned here if I would have gotten creative and built hobbies that I find joy and that I love and use that as a way to share them with my son and use that during the mommy and me time that I had created in my schedule, I think it would have been a win-win for both of us. I wouldn't have lost so much of myself and my son would have been happy as well, because we were doing an activity that I was joyful about and I was happy about and he was happy to spend that time with me. But, like I said, I had a narrow view of life back then just because of my experience level, my wisdom level at that time. So that's why the decisions that I made back then were the decisions that I made. But I am still happy and grateful of every decision, because every decision led me to this point right now where I'm talking to you, I'm sharing it with you and I'm hoping that you learned something from this or you pass it on to somebody else at me.

Speaker 1: 36:46

So our hobbies and creativity side is something that in my 20s, in my 30s, I didn't think of, I didn't prioritize at all. I always, always, loved reading, writing. I just found out I love gardening. I'd like to sew as well, I like to create things. So in my 40s I have found that I am a creative person that enjoys art and that enjoys the beauty of things, and I just started nurturing that side of me and it is so fulfilling. And the best way for me to explain it is when my husband asked like, are you not tired? He asked me one day when I had come out of my dungeon, my office, after spending like almost four or six hours writing, just writing, and I told him no, I am refreshed, I am so refreshed, and he looked at me puzzled and I was like I am so refreshed because it boosted my energy.

Speaker 1: 38:10

Writing, being in the zone, getting lost in that story that I was drafting, it's so joyful, it's such a great headspace to be in and I wish more people will tap into their creativity and their hobbies and get lost there, whether it's cooking or something, whatever, whatever, because it's this kind of joy that is very rare that I want to say. I'm going to take a gander here and say that most of us have not felt it, because I just have this inkling right, that most of us have not felt that kind of joy from creativity and hobbies. And we all have it. We all have it, whether you're like, well, I'm not a creative person, no, you have it. There's a hobby in you that you want to do that you lose yourself in, and that's the best way that I can explain what the things that I love to do, like writing and reading and creating beautiful things, or just observing and admiring beautiful things, how it makes me feel I can walk through a garden.

Speaker 1: 39:20

I was stationed in Belgium and I went on a trip to Monet's Garden and it was beautiful, beautiful. When I think of heaven, I was like it has to look like this. It just it has to look like this. Those are the things that bring me joy and those are the things that, now that I'm getting older, I'm starting to prioritize more and I'm starting to schedule them in my calendar so that way it can fill my love bucket. And it was something that I discussed with my therapist and that was like I'm going to need to go, like, on a writing retreat. I'm going to need to make my own writing retreat before I spend time with this person, so that way I can be, like, really joyful, right Before this person takes it all out of me.

Speaker 1: 40:16

Because I now know what my hobbies and that that creativity does for me and now I can strategize, so that way it can mitigate feelings of sadness or anything else that I can see coming a mile away, right, because now I'm more present, I'm more self-aware. I have written things in my journal. I have started seeing patterns and themes. You see how everything is connected. You see, you see, oh, my goodness, I am telling you.

Speaker 1: 40:52

So tell me your hobbies, like. What do you like to do? Just tell me, put it in the comments, send me an email at joa, at haveacupofjoanicom, and let me know how do you practice self-care? What is it that you do for your physical, for your soul, for your creativity, for your social, for your emotions? What do you do? I'm curious because I don't think it's a one-size-fits-all and I don't think that the things that I'm doing are the one-all to be all. I know there's other things out there that work, so share that with me, share that with us. I can't wait to hear from you and this is going to wrap up today's chat on self-care and I just want you to remember.

Speaker 1: 41:43

So this is what we talk about self-care of the body. We talked about self-care through creativity and Hobbit, hobbit, hobbies. Self-care through social means, whether it's digital or physical, and, of course, your mental and emotional self-care, and I believe all of these are healthcare as well. But that's just me, okay. So find out what works for you. Let me know what does Next week. Next week, remember that the theme for February is self-care. So next week we're exploring the power of words, of affirmation. You may come out of it with some affirmations just for you, who knows? All right, so come back next Wednesday and remember, self-care is not selfish, it's essential, and I will say it's also healthcare. Okay, I'll see you next Wednesday. Bye, we can, we can fly. Thank you so much for listening. I want to hear from you. Leave me a comment, do a rating if you can on the podcast, share it with somebody you love, but, most importantly, come back. See you next time. Bye, let's go.