Ever faced the tough decision of whether to reveal a painful truth to protect a loved one? Our latest episode brings to the forefront a mother's agonizing dilemma about disclosing her boyfriend's online indiscretions to her daughter. By unpacking this "Dear Abby" letter, we explore the complexities of staying in a relationship for the sake of a child and the potential long-term consequences. Next, we tackle another poignant letter from a woman contemplating ending her relationship due to her partner's challenging elderly mother. We navigate the tense waters of balancing personal happiness with familial responsibilities, offering insights on finding harmony in difficult situations.
Switching to a lighter note, imagine stumbling upon a shocking discovery in your partner's closet—what would you do? I share a personal anecdote that had me heading for the door. Then, we pose a heartwarming question: "How did you meet your spouse?" I reflect on my own journey of meeting my husband through mutual friends and how our friendship blossomed into a cherished marriage. You'll get an intimate look into the early days of our relationship and a hint of the exciting stories we plan to reveal in future episodes. This episode is filled with emotional highs and lows, guaranteed to resonate with anyone navigating the intricate world of relationships.
Exit bumper Not A Democracy Podcast Network made by @FuryanEnergy
Ever faced the tough decision of whether to reveal a painful truth to protect a loved one? Our latest episode brings to the forefront a mother's agonizing dilemma about disclosing her boyfriend's online indiscretions to her daughter. By unpacking this "Dear Abby" letter, we explore the complexities of staying in a relationship for the sake of a child and the potential long-term consequences. Next, we tackle another poignant letter from a woman contemplating ending her relationship due to her partner's challenging elderly mother. We navigate the tense waters of balancing personal happiness with familial responsibilities, offering insights on finding harmony in difficult situations.
Switching to a lighter note, imagine stumbling upon a shocking discovery in your partner's closet—what would you do? I share a personal anecdote that had me heading for the door. Then, we pose a heartwarming question: "How did you meet your spouse?" I reflect on my own journey of meeting my husband through mutual friends and how our friendship blossomed into a cherished marriage. You'll get an intimate look into the early days of our relationship and a hint of the exciting stories we plan to reveal in future episodes. This episode is filled with emotional highs and lows, guaranteed to resonate with anyone navigating the intricate world of relationships.
Exit bumper Not A Democracy Podcast Network made by @FuryanEnergy
Well, welcome everyone. Today I have for you a bunch of Dear Abbeys, because I really couldn't find anything fun and interesting this morning. It's all convention, convention, convention, talk, and Tim Walls spoke. Last night I was going to try to stay up and watch him, just so I could hear it with my own ears what kind of bull crap he was going to talk about. But I couldn't. I couldn't hang with y'all, I couldn't hang with the big dogs, I had to stay on the porch, I had to go to bed. I had to go to bed, I had to go to sleep. I was tired. So I'm sure we're going to hear all about it today. So I'm bringing to you this morning some Dear Abbeys. Are you ready for some Dear Abbeys? All right, let me go over here to my x-file. I was not prepared, sorry, I should have had this already up and running. All right, one, two, three, four, five, five Dear Abbeys. Let's start with the first one, dear Abbey. Do I tell my daughter that her dad sends nudes to strangers online? Okay, I only picked these particular Dear Abbeys from their titles. I have not actually gone in and read the whole thing. So you're going to hear it as I'm hearing it. Alright, you ready, here we go.
Speaker 1:
I have been with my live-in boyfriend, kyle, for four years. He has many great qualities, the most important of them being he fully accepts my daughter as his own. He doesn't see her as his girlfriend's kid or even a stepchild. She has no contact with her biological father or any of his family and has blossomed as a person. And since Kyle has been in the picture of his family and has bossed him as a person. And since Kyle has been in the picture, uh, first I would like to know why this child doesn't have any contact with her biological father or any of his family. Now, it could be. It could be a number of reasons. It could be all bad reasons. It could be all good reasons, I don't know. I mean, you know when I say bad, it could be he could be like a drug dealer, a bad person, criminal. I don't know. It could have been anything, I don't know. All right, so that's not the point of the story. Here we go. The problem is he likes to message women online through various dating and hookup sites and share sexually explicit pictures and messages. He has never met any of them in person. I have confirmed this. He states he just likes the thrill and attention. Get the hell out of there. Maybe you should go find the biological father and his family.
Speaker 1:
Oh, obviously this woman does not have good decision skills, good character. Uh, how, what am I trying to say? She cannot pick the right men. So, uh, I have expressed multiple times that I consider this a betrayal. Okay, well, that's good. I honestly thought he had turned over a new leaf, but I have just discovered his behavior is continuing. Okay, she's just discovered it again.
Speaker 1:
All right, I'm heartbroken, but I worry about splitting up would do to my daughter. Honey, she's gonna be okay. She probably wants to get the F out of there. Anyway, go, take the child and go, because who knows what he's doing to her. Oh my gosh, when I left her biological father, she had some major behavioral and emotional issues. I can't bear the thought of putting her through that again. She would not only lose her father figure, but also his extended family that has fully embraced her.
Speaker 1:
Do I tough it out? And she until she's 18? Or do I leave now? Oh, leave now. It doesn't mean you can break it, doesn't mean you have to break it off with the other family members. And let just, don't let the family members babysit the child by their own, because they're gonna take him. Okay, let's see what dear abby says you can.
Speaker 1:
My thing is get the hell out of there, get some therapy, go go. What about your family? What is your family doing? All right, so let's see what dear abby says. She's probably going to disagree with me. I wish you had mentioned how old your daughter is. Yes, that's true. If she's in her mid to late teens, she's old enough to understand that you cannot let this romance continue, as it is good if she's not yet in her teens. Line up a licensed therapist. Up a licensed therapist to help you cope with the fallout that happened after your divorce.
Speaker 1:
Your partner may be a sex addict, which would account for his behavior and his inability to stop. What he has been doing is a betrayal, and when to draw the line depends upon your tolerance to pain. And when to draw the line depends upon your tolerance to pain. Ps. Are you staying with him only to avoid upheaval for your daughter? That's a good question. You must do what's best for her and you. There are resources that address sex addiction. Would he agree to try? No, I'm not even. No, I'm out of there. Sorry, see you, bye, Not bye, not even sorry. Okay, let's move on to the next one podcast, okay? Uh, dear abby, should I end my relationship? If my partner's elderly mother is unbearable? Oh, this ought to be good. Let's see what her level of embarrassed unbearable is. I admire, dear abby, I admire your wit and appreciate your candor, trying to butter her up. Already trying to butter up, dear abby, which is why I'm writing to you.
Speaker 1:
I've been dating a man for four and a half years. He's 56, I'm 60 and his mother. Okay, I hope for a life with him, marriage, a place of our own, etc. All right, I have questions. Already she's 60. Well, okay, the only obstacle is his obligation to look after his aging parents. Wait, the only obligation is his. Oh, the only obstacle is his obligation to look after his aging parents. Wait, the only obligation, he is his. Oh, the only obstacle is his obligation to look after his aging parents and help them stay in their home, which he promised them years ago.
Speaker 1:
At first I was okay, waiting for him to finish with them and looking forward for a time for us. I tried to help. Oh, my gosh, this bitch sounds horrible already, the I mean who else is going to take care of his elderly parents. Oh, I even moved into his parents' home with the three of them, and I am certified home care aide. Well, there you go. And his mother was impossible. Even though it was her idea that I move in, it became obvious that she didn't want my help with anything. She even banned me from her kitchen. Okay, these people are 56 and 60 years old. I think this is just made up. I really do. Of course we are having sex discreetly, but apparently not discreetly enough, because his mother was absolutely certain we were having sex in our house against her rules. Abby, it was a nightmare. There was more involved, but I was ultimately turned out of the house with no notice.
Speaker 1:
Long story short, I don't know if I can wait much longer for the life with him I want. Who knows how long this will go on. I'm losing faith. It will never work out. What do you advise?
Speaker 1:
All right, I, this guy, needs to dump this girl. That this woman, the girl she's 60, the 50, the man who's trying to take care of his parents he's probably a regular person needs to dump the 60 year old bitch. She sounds very selfish and self-centered so and she kind of glossed. She didn't really give us any details, did she? All she wants to do is have sex? She's 60, first of all, I highly doubt that. I mean maybe, maybe, but uh, since, maybe, since this is a new man who knows, I don't know how. She said four and a half years they've been together. I mean, I'm not saying 60 years, don't have sex.
Speaker 1:
Trust, come on, you're adults, you're grown freaking, you're grown people and he has elderly parents that uh need his help. What do you mean? What was she doing that was so unbearable? All right, you're a home aid. God, where's your compassion? I want to see what dear abby says. You and your boyfriend are adults and entitled to have sex life if you want one. Well, yes, duh. That he allowed his controlling oh my gosh, she is on the side of this woman that he allowed his controlling mother to turn you out of the house with no notice and couldn't find the courage to enlighten her that if you left he would be out. There too should have been the wake-up call you needed to move on. Four and a half years has been long enough to wait.
Speaker 1:
If you want the life you describe, your chances will be far better if you continue looking for a man who is available, because this one clearly isn't. I don't know about that. We don't't know everything. She kind of that was very generic Dear Abby. To me it sounds like I want this man. He's too busy taking care of his elderly parents. All I want to do is have sex and that's it. All right, we're moving on, we're moving. This is ridiculous. I think that was all made up. Sometimes. I think these Dear Abby's are made up. I really do. All right, dear Abby, it's been 13 years and I still haven't met my partner's son. I'm sorry if I'm running along on this, but I've got this one and one more. We'll try to move quickly. All right, dear Abby.
Speaker 1:
I have been divorced for many years and have a partner. Andy is a widower whose wife died 20 years ago. Have been a couple for 13 years, although we don't live together. My son is 30 and his partner is and wait what? My son is 30 and his partner is 40. Both of their families have busy lives. I met andy while my son still lived at home, so he has never spent the night here.
Speaker 1:
I'm already confused. My elderly mother lives with me too, so it's easier that I stay over at Andy's place. We talk most nights for an hour or so on the phone. I am so damn confused. She stays with him overnight, but she talks to him for an hour on the phone. I am confused. My issue is, although andy knows my extended family, and while I know his son's story, I have never met his son.
Speaker 1:
Oh, when I asked about it once, he said it was for privacy reasons and that his previous girlfriend never met his son either. Oh, I find this really odd. Yeah, I would too. My son doesn't like andy because of this. I don't understand it, but I can live with it. What then? What, if you can live with it? Why are you talking to dear abby? What is your take on this, please? Uh, how long has she been with this guy? For 13 years and never met his son. That's weird. All right, my take. Let's see, this is dear abby's take. I don't even know what to say about that. That's 13 years. All right, my take. Let's see, this is Dear Abby's take. I don't even know what to say about that. That's 13 years. I, I would. I think I would have been out of there a long time ago.
Speaker 1:
If you're not going to, let me meet your son. If, if, if. When we met and you told me you had a son, I understand not not wanting to meet him right off, but if we're going to be serious, I mean mean, come on before 13 years. You know you're gonna be getting serious at some point early on and I don't know. That's a red flag for me. Let's see what dear Abby says.
Speaker 1:
My take is that after 13 years, in the normal course of things, you should have met Andy's son. There must be a reason why your partner is keeping you and his son apart. People are. People who are this concerned with privacy usually have secrets they are guarding. Finding out the reason for this is more important than you meeting his son. All right, well, there you go, let's see. I wonder if she'll ever.
Speaker 1:
I wish they had like a follow-up, dear Abby. Is there a follow-up, dear Abby? That would be interesting. Somebody needs to start that. All right, last one, and this is oh, this, dear Abby, my boyfriend's a cross-dresser. It's a major turnoff. Then, why are you with him? Get out, that's I mean. That would be my answer. Why are you with him? Get out, if you, if you admit it, it's a turnoff, get out. Let's read's read it.
Speaker 1:
I met a man and we started seeing each other, but I'm not really sure about him. He's a cross-dresser. No, dear, he's an autogonophilia, autogonophilia, he. He gets pleasure out of dressing up. He's gonna turn into a trans. All right, he's a cross-dresser.
Speaker 1:
I, I have tried to accept it, but I well, because your natural instincts as a woman is to say no. That's why you can't accept it, but I honestly don't think I can. It turns me off and I don't find it attractive and I don't know if I could ever be okay with it. Then, get out, end it now. I don't know how to tell him. You tell him I don't like this. Goodbye.
Speaker 1:
I don't want to hurt him Too bad, fuck it. But I just can't bring myself to be sensual with him. What's the best way to explain this without hurting his feelings? Why are you even fucking worried about hurting his feelings? That's his problem. I don't want to lose his friendship. Oh my God, these are the types of women that get sucked in to this, where a man can become a woman. Oh, she didn't want to hurt his feelings and wants to keep his friendship. Nope, I'm out of here. Bye, have a good life, all right.
Speaker 1:
This is a short response from dear abby. Tell the man that you like him very much and would like to remain friends, but you feel friends. But you feel friends are all that you can destined to be. If he presses you further or needs a reason, tell him. The chemistry isn't there, it is the truth. Uh, okay, whatever.
Speaker 1:
The first time I was over at his house and I opened his closet and found some high heels and some pantyhose, and some not pantyhose, but some skirts or whatever I'm out Like. See you later. Have a good life. All right, we need a question of the day. I know I ran a little long.
Speaker 1:
Okay, since we're talking about relationships, how did you meet your spouse? I think that's a good question of the day. I met the gent through mutual friends. I think I've told this story before. I'm not going to tell it now. It's too long. We just ran around the same group of circle of friends and he even knew my late husband. So I mean we were friends for a long time before we became intimate and all that before we got married and all that. So he's known my kids, or I call him his kids now, since my son was two. So you know he's been around, for we met through mutual friends. Okay, that's how we met. All right, I gotta go. I know it's pretty boring, isn't it? But the story of how we decided to become more than friends is pretty interesting. I'll tell that some other time. All right, gotta go. Thanks for listening and I'll be back again tomorrow.
