193. I Can See Clearly, Part 1

As your hosts, Nic and Adnie, engage in a dialogue with Falon Sells who takes us on a about the high and lows of life. Her raw honesty and powerful testimony she brings to the table illuminate the path from turmoil to tranquility.

Join us for a conversation that isn't afraid to confront the often painful family dynamics and the resilience that can emerge from spiritual awakening.

Co-host: 99 Ways To Win Podcast
Recommended Book: The Tamar Stories Sisterhood: Book 1

A Call to Salvation

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

To be honest, I ended up just like my mom. Yeah, I can say that I chased men in place of my children. So looking back now, I can say this is what happened and this is how it happened and this is why it happened, and that is now why I'm so adamant about my children.

Speaker 2: 0:27

Welcome to the Call by God podcast with Adne Godet and myself, nixon Sylvain. This show is about dialogues of biblical characters and testimonies of Christians who submitted to the will of God. Each week, we bring on one guest so that they can share their story of how they were called by God. I hope this show inspires you. Enjoy. Welcome to the Call by God podcast, a podcast where we share personal stories of faith and discuss the Bible teachings on salvation. I'm your host, brother Nick, and I'm here with sister Adne Godet, and we are honored to share these powerful stories with you.

Speaker 3: 1:06

Today we have a special guest, Fallon Sells, who will be sharing her testimony of how she came to know Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. Fallon will share her struggles before finding salvation. In addition, she will expound on how her decision to follow Christ and how that decision has had a positive impact on her faith journey and on her life.

Speaker 2: 1:30

Sister Sells testimony will remind us that, no matter our past, God's love and grace are available to all who seek Him. It will also serve as a reminder that salvation is not just about getting into heaven y'all, but also about the transformation that occurs in our hearts and lives when we accept Jesus as our Lord and our Savior. So join us as we listen to sister Sells powerful testimony. Sister Sells, welcome to the Call by God podcast. How are you doing?

Speaker 1: 2:04

I'm doing wonderful. Thank you, I'm excited to be here.

Speaker 2: 2:08

Amen, amen, go ahead, sister Adne.

Speaker 3: 2:11

I'm just so elated in how some preachers be saying high in a, was it high in a proud and peacock happy, or something like that. Or peacock happy, high in a proud. That you said yes.

Speaker 3: 2:26

That you said yes to the call. I know your story has. It's going to touch a lot of lives. I remember the first time I heard you was on the young adult sisters call and I'm like this girl, this young woman right here. She has a story and the thing that people don't understand and realize is that when you become a Christian, there's always a story to help someone else understand why we say yes to Jesus. So I thank you for coming on and sharing your story with us.

Speaker 1: 2:58

Thank, you for inviting me, amen.

Speaker 2: 3:01

Yes, yes, let me tell you something the world is in for a treat. Let me tell you something Some soul out there, sister Sells, is going to be touched what you're about to share, cause I heard a little bit about your story, but I know Adne probably know a little bit more than me, so we're just looking forward to it. As I mentioned that, this is just like a virtual fellowship hall, and then I want you, cause we know you, but our listeners don't know you. So tell our listeners a little bit about yourself.

Speaker 1: 3:32

Well, basically, I'm just a I want to say middle age, right, so I'll be 41 in four days, mother of three, grandmother of two, just a living life. So I'm a sinner, you know, and I'm just. I figured it out that Jesus is the only way, and that's the only way I want to rock with, and so I just want to share that with everybody.

Speaker 2: 3:59

Amen, amen, I love it, I love it, I love it. So, again, like this and you didn't mention this, I don't know if it's something you didn't want to mention, cause I know you are a podcastor, you also are a podcastor and I have a heart and a love for podcasters, cause I know when folks are using the gift or their platforms to you know, be a value or be a blessing to somebody else, especially in the kingdom of God, cause you could be using any platform, any podcast, and no pun, nothing against any other podcast, but I believe a podcast that's related to people's soul salvation is the most important podcast that anybody can listen to. So I know your podcast. Do you want to tell us a little bit about your podcast or?

Speaker 1: 4:50

Yeah, sure, 99 Ways to Win was founded by Michelle Wright, a fellow sister in Christ. She's an awesome, awesome human being. I also met her on the Young Adult Sister Prayer Call and she was doing a podcast and she was like we got to talking and she was like you know what I need a co-host and you're perfect for it. She was like you know, you're so funny and you're so raw and you're just so honest about you know everything. So she was like you know, I would like for you to do that. So, yeah, I was like, of course. So 99 Ways to Win podcast got a little. It's just a raw look, not necessarily scripture field, but just, you know, just a raw look at life and what people are going through, what kids may be going through, mothering, absent, fathering, you know, just a whole bunch of different life things. So we just talk about that and there's a little humor in it, a lot of Christian in it, you know, and a lot of ways to overcome.

Speaker 2: 5:50

Hey man, hey man, and y'all go back and y'all check it out 99 Ways to Win Again. That's the number 99 Ways to Win with Michelle. All right, powerful. It's a powerful, definitely a powerful podcast. There was times when I was at work and I said you know what? Let me listen to this podcast. And that definitely has blessed me. So I like the work that Michelle is doing and I know 2024 is gonna be a big year for you guys. So I'm speaking it and I'm claiming it. So I'm looking forward to that. But enough with that let's.

Speaker 2: 6:22

You know I like listening to or hearing my brothers and my sisters in Christ testimonies. It's always fascinated me, I think, when I see folks get baptized, you know when folks obey the gospel, you know when we are worshiping, the preachers are preaching and you know how hard it is to like stand up and obey the call. It takes a lot, Cause them demons, them devils are like you ain't going nowhere. You ain't going nowhere, not yet, not yet. So I know you wasn't always a Christian, we wasn't always a Christian, so we want you to walk us back before you obey the gospel. You're upbringing, you know, we want to know how life was like for sister cells. Before Jesus Christ, before all of this stuff, walk us through your life.

Speaker 1: 7:17

Man, I guess my. I think my earliest memory is probably of going to this town called Lonoke, you know, and it's a one stop light town, you know, and this is where my entire family is from, like they're rooted there it's. I can't date anyone there because everybody is some kind of kin to me, but we would go down there to see my. We only went down there, like we went down there all the time, but my memory of going down there the earliest I can remember is when I was about four or five years old and I went down there to see Mama T, which was my great aunt, and it was Christmas time. Mama T was I don't know how she had the money, I don't know what she did for a living. I think she was like a maid, but she always got us the good gifts, and so I pretty much can just remember just that. She zeroed in all the time on what I needed or what I wanted, and she got that. You know. So, but coming from there other than that, I really don't know in my life who, if there was anyone else paying attention to me at that. So I never had like. I've always felt like the forgotten child. There was never a time when I felt like I was lifted up. If I was noticed, it was cause I did something wrong. You know, it was just. It was I had an older brother. He is well, I have an older brother. He's seven years older than me and then I have and we grew up together. I do have a younger brother now, but he came years later, like my mom, she was 40 years old when she had him.

Speaker 1: 9:11

But you know, my life is almost like just a passing glance just thinking back on it. Even last night we did this. We were on the prayer call and they were asking what is? If you can go back to any time of your life, that was the most joy. Where would it be? They don't know it, but I was crying on the other end because I had no memory of anything that I've ever done as a child that I would have wanted to go back to. You know, and it's so innocent to be like looking back now, I'm like that was an innocent time, but it just was never a fun time for me, because I had fun sometimes, but there was never a point where I would even, because there was always something behind it or something in front of it, where it was always something.

Speaker 1: 10:17

But yeah, my life was just pretty much I was just kind of a forgotten child. In school People would say I was a bad kid. I don't think I was bad. Looking at it now, I really don't think I was bad. I think I was just so tall that people thought I should have been behaving differently than just a regular five-year-old because I look seven or whatever. So I think that when I talk it was more like you know better, because I'm taller than everybody. I'm six foot one right now, so I'm a tall woman. So as a little kid I was always a foot ahead, taller than everybody. So it was like I should have known better. I feel like I was zeroed in with that kind of stuff. So it was just a forgotten life. It was just life. That was it for me. So I don't have fond memories like that.

Speaker 1: 11:18

I hung around a lot of old people, elderly people. My mom worked at an elderly center and every morning I had to go there. I drank coffee. Every morning as a five, six years old I was drinking coffee, made my own cup. My mom would take me there to get ready for work and then she dropped me off at school, but in the evenings when I got out of school I would go to her job and all of those elderly people. It was like an elderly activity center and I would hang around all those elderly people and I was the only little kid there. So guess what? I got all the attention. They were so sweet to me. I loved every bit of them. They were just. I got a lot out of them and I got a lot of joy out of them. Now that I think about it, that's a memory to me and I guess being around those elderly people was my happy place. And my mom then started working at an elderly nursing home. I was in there and massaging the elderly people's hands and stuff. They'd be like come over here, come over here next and I'd go over there.

Speaker 1: 12:33

So elderly people were a big part of my life. I really appreciated them. I listened to all their stories, I marveled at them. I loved them for some reason. Even my stepdad's mom. She asked me one time there was no kids in the house. I used to stay over there sometimes and she asked me one time. She looked at me and she was like why are you even over here and I said well, I don't know. And she was like there's no kids over here and you're just like old people. And I was like I just like you and that was it. So it was just. But even now, looking back, I'm like I can. I don't think they like my mom much, so why was I over there? I wasn't related to it. So now I can see the slight in it now, like why are you over here? You're not my grandkids, but she still let me over there. So that was sweet, but I think she loved me anyway.

Speaker 2: 13:42

So the way you felt when you were young as being a forgotten child, do you think it had a lot to do with the home, the household dynamic? Because I know, sometimes when people don't have their mothers in their lives or even their fathers like for me, I didn't have my dad in my life and that really that troubled me as a youth. So could you walk us through that process, like what was the driving factors that led you to feel the way you actually felt? And I think it's important because we live in an age where there's a lot of single mothers that's raising children, even single fathers that's raising children. And even if a young adult is listening to this episode, I want to know like I'm not saying that's your case, but I just want you to walk us through that those dynamics, like what led to that?

Speaker 1: 14:27

Well, that's me feeling like I was the forgotten child.

Speaker 1: 14:31

Was basically, again, I had an older brother. He was seven years older than me. He got a lot of stuff from my mom, for some reason, I don't know. He just they talked a lot more, they laughed more. It was never silly moments with me and my mom. It was just, you know, and my dad was out of the picture altogether. So my brother was able to do things, he was able to have friends over. I just sat there Like it, just I was, I don't know it. Just there was never a time when there was a genuine moment of I'm just happy to be your mom.

Speaker 1: 15:29

I don't think I ever felt that, even like during times when she may have had a little money because we didn't have money, you know but even times when she had a little money, it was like she was excited to go and buy my brother stuff. We went to the mall for him. For me it was like she would literally tell me I don't have much money for you. You know what I'm saying. So you know, and it was just kind of, it was an aggravation. I felt like an aggravation to everybody, you know. So it was just. You know, even my brother, you know I go around him, you know. You know, get away from me. You know I don't want to take you anywhere, hey, you know. And then, like, if he did want to go somewhere and my mom was there, she was like, take your sister, I don't want to take her. Well, you're not leaving her here. Come on, man, like you know.

Speaker 1: 16:21

So it's kind of like, does anybody want me? Yeah, where am I supposed to be? You know there were friends every once in a while. You know where we lived. You know there were friends sometimes, but I never had the feeling like family. My stepdad, my stepdad, was there since I have, has been with me since I was born. I never called him dad. You know like who who wouldn't call somebody that they were raised with as their father? I even introduce him as my dad to people, but I don't call him dad. So I've never had. I feel uncomfortable even calling my dad dad. It's it's a weird term to me. It's it's uncomfortable. So it's just. If I didn't have a dad, I felt like I was a bother to my mom. My brother didn't want to be a big brother. Where do I fit in?

Speaker 1: 17:18

So it's kind of like nobody's paying attention to just the little things. Instead, it was if you got in, if you did something wrong. That's when you got all the attention, but even then it was negative. You know so, and that's not what I wanted, even when I tried to do something good, that's how I think, that's how I started people pleasing was let me try to do this, let me do this, let me do this, and then it still wasn't looked at. Yeah, that's what you're supposed to do, you know, type thing.

Speaker 1: 17:48

But my brother could do something and just anything, and he gets praises, and you know, like, for instance, my brother and he probably gonna be mad at me if I say this but he played basketball for school, but he never got in. You know what I mean. I, on the other hand, was averaging 22 points a game. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. But you know so it was just kind of like one of those things, like everybody had to come show up for his basketball games. But here I am, you know so that is good. My mom did show up to my sports games, though I will say that she showed up for every basketball game that was at home and all my volleyball games that was at home. That was the only thing I could do to make her pay attention to me.

Speaker 3: 18:34

Let me ask you this question because, as I'm listening to you, do you believe that your mom and your biological dad kind of got together, but there wasn't nothing there, and then you was the Oops.

Speaker 1: 18:49

Well, speaking of that, my father, me and my brother. That's seven years apart. We have the same father. We have the same father. My father was very abusive to my mother when my mother finally decided to leave I'm pregnant, but I'm gonna go anyway. So she left and I was the product of the separation. So I never seen my father and mother together. My brother did and he saw all the abuse. He saw the guns and the beating her and all that stuff. He saw all of that. I didn't see any of that.

Speaker 1: 19:35

And then my stepdad came. I think he was there a little bit before the separation but he didn't care because he wanted my mom. So I'm pregnant, well, we'll raise her up. I guess he loved her like that. So he raised, he took care of me. He did take care of me.

Speaker 1: 19:56

I will say that I just still never felt comfortable calling him dad. I don't know if my brother might have put something in my ear about that, because he did have. He knew my dad. So I don't remember. If he said don't call him dad, he says he did tell me that. So I don't know if that's what it was. I can't remember. But he did take care of me. He did the fatherly things but there was no love. He was kind of Detached. Yeah, he was Detached. He was very detached, I don't Sometimes. And I think my mom chasing for him kind of took the focus off of your kid, so it kind of did that. So that's what I'm thinking happened. Looking back now I can see that she was just kind of chasing him more so than raising us, gotcha, as I'm listening to you because we're going to get into these questions.

Speaker 3: 20:57

I just want you to go a little deeper here To see your mom being the one chasing someone else, but not chasing you as far as like being her daughter, but making you feel like you didn't belong. And then the reason I'm asking this question because self-esteem is something that a lot of young women deal with. You understand what I'm saying, especially when you have a mother and most girls want to be like their mom. You understand what I mean. To know that here it is, I'm born, and you made me feel like I was invincible. What I want? To make sure I ask the question correctly what goes through your mind now as a 41-year-old adult with your children, your daughter, your kids? Are there any struggles to kind of hold them close, or is there a disconnect between you and them?

Speaker 1: 22:12

To be honest, I ended up just like my mom. Yeah, I can say that I chased men in place of my children. So, looking back now I can say this is what happened and this is how it happened and this is why it happened. And that is now why I'm so adamant about my children, because it's and even I can say with my first born we don't have a relationship right now. I chose a man over her and I mean it's almost in programming when you're raised that way, there's nothing to tell you because she's doing it, so she's not going to tell you that, hey, this was wrong, so if she may not even be aware. So I had to figure that out on my own. That that's what I did, and it took after my daughter's and our relationship to just dwindle down. That's when I realized I did that. I chose chasing a man over loving you totally completely.

Speaker 1: 23:43

Now I will say that things that I didn't take from my mom was which was probably a bad thing too, but I did it. You know how we can do things. I forgot what it's called, but it's when you're trying to do the opposite of the bad thing but it turns out to be worse. So my daughter I didn't feel looked at and some of that was because I wasn't even like spent money on, I guess, in a way. So what I did was I made sure I spent a lot of money on my kid Birthdays and everything blew it out the water her birthday parties, like she brand new shoes all the time, clothes, everything, like she was taken care of physically, you know so, but not emotionally, right, not emotionally.

Speaker 1: 24:47

And I want to say that I tried to be there, but looking back now I can say I wasn't there. You gave her what you had, yeah, and that's why I could be so forgiving towards my mother, because I understand that we don't come with instructions. I didn't have instructions that said, hey, make sure you show Fallon to take care of her and this, this, this, this way, you know. And so me trying to do the opposite of what my mom did, I kind of gave her a sense of entitlement because she had the new stuff she had. You know she had a better phone than I did, you know. Just, I made sure she was taken care of and in that way. But then I neglected my other kid, so the middle child, and again I was the second born. I neglected my second born.

Speaker 2: 25:42

So so Do that. Most parents do that like, especially women. They'll neglect their children for the sake of a man. The reason why I say that? Because before I obeyed the gospel many, many years ago, I used to date women and I seen this firsthand where women would neglect their baby or their child just to hook up with me. And for me, I'm in a world. I'm not thinking I'm like I'm just a dude with no children. I'm not thinking about the child because I'm not in.

Speaker 2: 26:11

It was crazy because I was brought up in a single family household, so I kind of kind of know a little bit like how things work. Consider that my mom, my mom, she, yeah, she was that type too, but she did it on her own subtle way. But but I seen this from my own eyes and I believe that this episode could help somebody, help a mother or a young mother coming up because as a mother, as a young mother, you're not given those instructions, like because women is thinking like I need to provide, I'm in love. Because women are so emotional, they're emotional. So if they see or happen to hook up with a God that they love or like us, we call that lust or to have a desire for that.

Speaker 2: 26:49

They're not yet. They have a child, maybe for somebody else. So they're not thinking like okay, they thinking about their own well being. I got to satisfy me. You know what I mean? My baby could stay with grandma or grandpa. I still look good, I'm still sexy. So again, I thank you again for sharing that, because I could help a young soul, a young lady that's up and coming, a single mother that's possibly chasing a dude. So I'm glad that she was open with that because, like you said, we're not given a manuscript. But go ahead, Adne, I just thought I'd add that from a male perspective, because I witnessed that firsthand.

Speaker 3: 28:14

Look, I think a lot of us witnessed that firsthand with my mama, dad. My auntie told us straight up y'all, think I'm going to let this man leave me for y'all. So I think everybody, yeah, yeah. She told us that, yeah, yeah, I ain't going to let this man leave me for y'all, yeah, yeah. So I think everybody, whether it's at the hand of the mother or whether it's at the hand of the aunt, yeah, it's one of those situations where it's a self esteem thing, right. It's one of those things where you, when you don't have self love and this is where the question is going to come in when you don't have a relationship with Jesus, I see, because the only satisfaction that we truly get as women, men, is the satisfaction of Jesus. So, as I segue into this question is that I'm going to ask how long did it take you to say yes to the gospel of Christ? Well, let me make it two part who introduced you and how long did it take you to?

Speaker 1: 29:21

say yes to the gospel of Christ. That's kind of tricky for me because nobody introduced me. Man, it's again, you know, the book. The book the part of the book that's coming out when I on my story is is talking about how I came to know Jesus. And it was an accident. So I think you know, like that's what I would call it. But it was just like this, this coincidence, that a bus was riding through Looking it was a regular school bus and I was.

Speaker 1: 30:02

I was outside on a Sunday morning just doing my own thing and it came by and it stopped right in front of me and it said want to come to church? And I was like sure I left. And again in my book it says in the book not my book, but in the book it's going to say that I didn't even tell my mother because she wouldn't have noticed I was gone anyway. So I went to church. They had a puppet show going on talking about one of the stories of God of the Bible in the Bible, and it was cute, it was fun. We had snacks after, they gave us a goldfish after and I thought that was awesome. So I went back again the next Sunday. I was standing outside waiting. I liked this, so it was just that's how I began, and I don't even know at that age if I had connected it with God, because it was puppets. I want to say I was in the fourth grade, so maybe about 10.

Speaker 2: 31:16

First of all, yeah, so it was a.

Speaker 1: 31:21

I don't even remember that. I know it was stories in the Bible, but there was never any conviction there. You know what I mean. It was just I was just going, but that was cool because I got to get away. I got to, you know, I liked it, and so after that I think my next encounter was a vacation Bible school. So my aunt I did have an aunt that was, I had a couple of aunts All my family was raised in church. Christ, you know what I'm saying Like. So all my family raised in church is just some of them didn't stay there, you know so. So I did have an aunt that lived in the same town as me, that was, and I guess they had a whole how many can bring guests? Type of day and my cousin reached out to me and said, hey, I want you to be my guest for vacation Bible school so we can have enough people, you know.

Speaker 1: 32:16

So I went to vacation Bible school, loved it, I loved it. I was like I want to keep coming back here to this specific place and again, not connecting it as far as salvation goes you know what I'm saying but just loving being in that atmosphere. So the love, the joy, the happiness. I mattered there Because you know I can, you know I did matter there. I felt like I did anyway, even though it was a lot of kids, you know. And then my aunt was like, well, you know, I was like, can I go to church with you, you know, on Sundays. Then, because this was a week thing, vbs is like a week and then you're done Well, how can I come back? I want to come back to this place. So I asked my aunt hey, can I come to church Anytime, honey? That's what she says. See, if you need a ride to church, I don't care where you live, she will come get you, she will do that. And so I went to church with her, kept going to church, kept going to church, growing up.

Speaker 1: 33:28

Now, you know, I'm 14 now, so I'm growing up and I'm listening, I'm hearing and stuff, and I honestly don't know what made me wake up one Saturday morning. But every time they would ask you know, do the invitation? Like Nick said, it's a lot of work going in your brain. First of all, I shrink myself. I have a habit of shrinking myself, so I didn't want to get up in front of all those people. Our church was like 450 strong. Right then, you know what I mean. We would have a tenuous of 600. So I'm like I'm not getting up in front of all these people. The clothes I had on were lackluster anyway, you know. I didn't dress right, you know. So I was just kind of like, hmm, not going to go. But one Saturday morning I woke up, that's it. I called my cousin the one that asked me to VBS, and I said I want to get baptized and he said right now. I said right now, and he said well, let me make a couple of phone Now.

Speaker 1: 34:38

He is not that much older than me, he's probably 16. So but his mom, like I said, his mom was a soldier, so he already knew what to do. He was like she want to be baptized. You know, our church is for us if they say they want to get baptized right now. It's right now, you know, because no time to waste. So he called me back and was like we coming to pick you up, you know, and they came and picked me up. It was just me, him and the man that baptized me. And I got in the water, baptized, and my cousin was sitting in front row on the first pew and he was just clapping when I came up out that water and I felt I was gonna do this. I did, Look, I felt like I could do it, the whole Christian thing. You know, I really had good intentions but things happen. You know, life is life.

Speaker 3: 35:41

You hear me.

Speaker 1: 35:42

Because I promise you, I thought I was good, I was like I'm not sinning ever. I got this. You know, and I think that's the misconception is that you know, when we get baptized, we think this is a change Like this is it. I made the decision, I'm gonna go down in this water and Jesus Christ is the Son of God. You know, we make our confession and everything, and then we go on out there thinking we got this and uh-uh.

Speaker 3: 36:13

I love how you're sharing this because the big, like you said, the biggest misconception is you grew up with a child that would. You grew up as a child that felt invisible, wasn't seen, wasn't taken care of. But you get into a relationship with Jesus but you're still that child that wasn't seen.

Speaker 3: 36:37

That was invisible and as you're growing and you're like I should be closer to him, but you still are that child that wasn't seen, that was invisible. I'm sharing that because sometimes people make this misconception. When you become a Christian, I'm good, I'm straight, ain't no issues, ain't nothing gonna come, because I'm in this. But you're still that person who has hurt, who has damaged, who has brokenness. That has taken place. And one thing we have to remember when it happens to you as a child, it stays with you until you go through the process of healing.

Speaker 3: 37:18

I see, yeah, it does, if you don't get healed, you're going to be nothing but a broken Christian.

Speaker 1: 37:24

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 37:25

Even though you're chasing Jesus.

Speaker 1: 37:28

Broken Christian.

Speaker 3: 37:29

That child is still broken.

Speaker 1: 37:32

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 37:33

Sometimes the adult person is seeking Jesus, but that little child is still broken.

Speaker 3: 37:41

And eventually there is a merge that needs to take place and that child needs to heal. So I appreciate you sharing what you're sharing, because there's somebody out there that is looking to get into a relationship with Christ and they're like, if I just get in a relationship with them, I'll be fine. Yes, I can attest, listen, it's a phallin. Once you get in that water and you say, before you get in that water you say I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and you go down that water. Always remember there's a process, mercy, there's healing, there's a healing of Jesus. And add me's favorite saying you need a therapist.

Speaker 1: 38:24

What you saying, agreed, agreed, like yeah, you need a therapist.

Speaker 3: 38:31

Jesus is the greatest therapist, but sometimes you need one of them on earth that you could sit on their couch and say, doc, I need some help. So that's powerful, phallin, because you woke up on a Saturday and you knew that you needed a relationship with Christ.

Speaker 2: 38:49

As you alluded to add me, when Jesus Christ got baptized, the spirit led him into the wilderness and we know who met him there at the wilderness it was the devil. So kind of like how you pointed that out, when we become Christians, satan is always interested in pulling us back to his team. So I think that's a very important point that you wanna know the walk of sister phallin after she got baptized. Obviously we're gonna fast forward because we know when life gets real right. We want you to talk to us about the real, real right, cause it's one thing to get baptized when you're 14, parents still around, right, your parents still around, no kids. That's well and good. But we wanna know when things got real. You know the music when it got real, real, real quick. Walk us through that.

Speaker 1: 39:42

Well, yeah, they got real real quick. Yeah, that same year, Like it got real that same year. You know, again, growing up as an invisible child, you're an invisible teenager. So, and your mom, you know, even though I used to get in trouble a lot in school, like I promise you, it was some bias going on, I promise you, cause half the time I wasn't doing a lot of things. So now I don't have trust in adults, you know what I mean. So, because they would lie on me about some things and I would just be like you know, this is insane. This is a whole adult Like what do you mean? I didn't do that. Yeah, you did, and it's just, and my mom wouldn't hear it, she was like you know now, you did it, you did it, I'm sure you did it, you know, and I get it. We know our kids. But there's some things I'm just not gonna do and because I don't know what it was, but whatever it was, it just created a downfall Ever since I got in trouble that first time in second grade for something I did not do.

Speaker 1: 40:50

When I tell you, I gotta tell you this story, cause if I don't tell you this, it's not gonna let you understand the severity of my lack of trust in adults and teachers and stuff like that. But I had this one teacher in second grade I wanna say her name, so bad but I'm not gonna say that, but anyway she would stare at me in class and you know as a kid, like I said this second grade, so when somebody's staring at you you kind of do something goofy. You know what I mean, like as a child. You know it's like you look at them and it's my teacher. So I'm looking, I'm like hi, you know, and I'll wave at her, you know, or something like that, and she just, she glare. It wasn't a nice kind look or anything, it was a straight glare, cutting her eyes at me the whole time.

Speaker 1: 41:41

I don't know why, but one day I came to school and I had to go straight to the office. Why I gotta go to the office. So I see now there was two bad kids in her class, me and this other little boy. This little boy and I don't like the youths race, ain't it, but they were the same color. The teacher and him were the same color, okay, and I was me. So the little boy was in the office. He has scratches all over him and everything. And so, you know, I was like I wonder what this is about. You know I go in there.

Speaker 1: 42:20

The teacher says we're going to suspend you for three days because this is my first time now. First time I was a talker in kindergarten and first grade but I never got in trouble like that. It's my first time in the office and they say I'm suspended, we're suspending you for three days because the teacher says she saw me beating up this little boy. I never touched that boy, never touched him. And the teacher said she saw me do it. It was almost like they had both planned it, because he said I did it too. And I'm like what are y'all talking about? But my mom didn't believe me and I was telling her mom I'm not even a violent kid Like this is not me. What do you mean? I got a whooping at home and all that good stuff, and so at that point I was just like, okay, y'all want bad, I can be bad. You know what I mean. So we could do things, you know.

Speaker 1: 43:18

But anyway, that lady and I'm gonna tell you how God works. And looking back now I realized this and I don't know what happened to her, but during the middle of the year she was gone. The middle of the year she was gone. I don't know what happened to her. We just got a new teacher and I'm telling you there wasn't nobody but God. There wasn't nobody but God, and was replaced with a decent teacher. A decent teacher, like she had probably heard from other people that one gets in trouble and I could tell that. But at that age I could tell that she was kind of leery about me. But she was sweet. I could tell she was sweet and she wanted me to have a chance and so I didn't get in trouble after that.

Speaker 1: 44:03

But anyway, coming fast forwarding to now, I had issues with adults and things of that nature. So, being an invisible teenager, my mother was tired by this time, tired of trying to deal with me mentally. I'm saying, looking back now I could tell she was just tired. Now she may have been tired of my stepdad I mean tired of him too because he was doing things and then tired of me and tired of being a mother, tired of struggling because she was struggling, tired of working two jobs, tired of doing this. She was tired. So I didn't get in trouble much Like I should have been, but she let a lot of stuff go. At 14, I went to a friend's house. My mom told me I can go over there to some friend's house. Went over there. I don't want to go too far into it, but ended up being right.

Speaker 2: 45:16

Thank you for listening to Sister Fallon's Sells Story. Stay tuned for upcoming episodes and be blessed. That's it for now, but before we go, please continue to listen, subscribe and share our podcast. Also, if you want to support our show, please scroll down to the bottom of the show notes and click on the link that says buy me a coffee. We were greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening and remember God is good all the time, and all the time God is good and also Jesus Christ loves you. Thank you.