Nia 0:02
You are now tuning into Love Frequency... where love grows. So let's go.
Nia 0:09
Thank you for checking in before you check out. Hi, I'm Nia, your host and favorite love advocate. And welcome to the podcast where love grows. What do I mean by that? Love Frequency is the podcast for honest self reflection meets that much needed conversation you've been avoiding. Get comfortable baby, take your shoes off, sit back, relax and enjoy this thought water. Because here at Love Frequency we believe when you know... you grow.
Nia 0:52
So, welcome back to a another week. I know right? Sometimes I even shocked myself. I do. But how are you? How have you been? Me? I have just been you know... doing stuff... and stuff. Okay, not really. Listen, before we get this episode kicked off. I just keep ghosting folks. Like I keep building this relationship with you. And then I pull back and I build and I pull back. But baby, I am trying to find balance in the new, you understand that? It's okay, we're gonna come back to it.
Nia 2:44
So today the question is, are you lazy? Or are you thought detoxing? Now, if I had to put this episode on a love frequency scale, I would say this episode falls right at level three. This is that episode where you have the potential to increase your frequency. You're on the rise, but you are also one decision from lowering your vibration.
Nia 3:34
But before we get into all of that, this is a time of the episode that is dedicated to that pause. That pause you need to let your thoughts, you're busy, slow down and catch up with your intentions. This is your time to reflect on a Love Frequency scale of one through five. I know a lot has happened. I know you may be celebrating some things and some of you may even be in mourning or hurting right now. So how does that feel? Where does that place you? And why this is so important because it's going to give you information on why you behave the way that you do. My bounce back has been much stronger than it ever has been. When I can recognize the days when I vibrate low and give myself grace and celebrate the days when I vibrate high and hold that awareness on a love frequency scale of one to five How are you baby? How is your spirit?
Nia 4:58
And Exhale
Nia 5:02
So, I'm not sure what period of my life this is. But you know, I can't seem to press play. Even though I'm always on the go. Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I have so much to be proud of this year, I still feel like I haven't done anything. Like the math aint mathin. 2+2+0 in this equation. And I don't know about y'all, but I would like to officially petition for an ON switch, so somebody can turn me the fuck off. I meant that literally and figuratively? I sure do. Yeah, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. But seriously, I just really feel like I'm off my game. Has anybody else ever felt like this? Are you currently going through that now? Like, you're getting things done, bills are getting paid, kids are happy, families happy, spouse is happy, you are happy... but you just feel stuck. And maybe it's not a physical stuck, but it's a mental stagnation now that you're feeling.
Nia 6:15
You want to know what I think it is? I think I am fucking detoxing. That's what I think. Let me explain why I am using the word detoxing. Okay, for a large portion of my life, I was chasing a need and calling it love. And then ended up attracting the same- people who weren't looking to build only to self soothe. Then that shit hit me. I've been volunteering for temporary positions in people's lives. Let's be honest. Relationships for some are pacifiers to dealing with internalized wounds. Not realizing that the pattern ends up becoming another internalized womb. This may also be why some of us believe that love is conceptual suffering. Because for some of us, that's all we know.
Nia 7:11
Going into this sort of 'thought detox' season, is what I'm calling it, has been equal parts exciting and scary as fuck. Yo, I am working to unlearn a lifetime of old behaviors while implementing new ones. Some days, it feels like I'm in a meeting with myself for the first time interviewing myself to get to know myself. Some of ya'll are listening like girl you ain't doing nothing. You just trying to be real fancy right now. No, but hear me out. Okay. Ride with me. The reason I'm choosing to define it as detoxing versus Shadow Work is one simple distinction- perspective.
Nia 7:57
You probably could call what I'm doing a form of shadow work, but I don't see it that way. When I'm in shadow work, I'm going through the darkness with a goal of having a better understanding of myself on the other side. Shadow Work is saying yes, I'm aware of x-behavior, and I want to be better. And understand why the fuck do I act like this in the first place? Like what's the root cause? B ut most of us stop there. Oh, I know why I move like that. So now that I know I can just inform others that I know some new shit. And in some cases, ask them to modify themselves to fit this new information. Let me ask you this. When has awareness of something ever changed the outcome without action? It's almost like saying that you're ready for love, that you're ready to connect with a partner, meeting someone with new hope and new potential. And one of the first few conversations you have with this person is about your past. So interesting. Now, for me, this is where detoxing comes in. What will I keep? What will I leave behind? And how will I hold myself accountable to that shit.
Nia 9:23
As I shed old skin, old stories past pain, I begin creating space for new choices and can focus on what's NOW. Doesn't that shit sounds magical? Right? Visually, I can literally see myself just getting rid of all of this weight. What Erykah Badu call it- Bag Lady. There's some of us who have been defining ourselves by our past pain and taking up space within a vessel that has the capacity to be so much more But don't get that shit twisted, is a heavy left jaw. This is not for the faint of heart. This ain't for the weak, okay? If it was everybody be doing it, we'd all just be some clear headed, open, vulnerable, aware, connected, loving motherfuckers. But we're not. We cancel people for their thoughts.
Nia 10:24
In addition, people who love like we do, and I know Love Frequency. This is my baby and I created it. And I know those of us that listen to podcasts like mine, but specifically this one. Oh, ba by, we love with our whole body, for better. And for worse. We've got the stories and scars to tell it. You know what I mean? That's some difficult shit to unlearn. It takes practice to stop shrinking, because you thought that's what made you lovable, instead of realizing it just made you easily accessible. See, Baby, you keep handing out limited edition energy like is coming back again. Stop playin? Could you imagine what you could do with that energy channeled elsewhere? Could you imagine? It's giving? Can I sit with you in silence as you lay in my lap? Because you're nothing means everything to me? Why are we wasting our time by holding on to what was instead of realizing our power so we can focus on creating what is right now in moments just like these.
Nia 11:56
I have lied to myself, and made myself believe that because I wasn't always going because I wasn't always moving and being active and being distracted, and not being appreciative of the right now that I was missing out. I, at some point in my life, defined that as hustle- doing the most, and having no energy at the end of that to actually live. So how can I be some shit that I celebrate, right? I am doing so much better for myself. Yet, man. When I tell you, there have been days where I wake up just feeling tired, and gross, and exhausted and stuck and frustrated. It's because I'm coming out of something old. And I'm going into something new. And this shedding process. That's what this shit is. I'm shedding I'm releasing all of the stuff that I've been holding on to because for so long, my pain defined me and now I'm in a new space.
Nia 13:16
So, we've been talking enough about the word detox. What does it really mean? So detoxing is defined as a process or period in which one of stains from or rids the body of toxic or unhealthy substances. Now what was we just talking about? Releasing, shedding, getting rid of? So what does my detox look like? I don't know. I just made this shit up, because it helped me think about where I was differently. And to give myself grace to say, Yo, these are some different shoes and you've never walked this walk before it's a new path. Remember what we were talking about earlier? You have limited edition energy. That means everything you do is limited edition. You breathing is limited edition because ain't nobody else gonna come and do it like you do it. I'm sitting here recording this on a Sunday. I'm never getting this exact Sunday back in this exact year, ever again. Everything I do is limited edition. I am main character energy because I'm the only one that is me. We know this yet. We don't move like it. I don't know about you. But I became tired of watching people live and achieve success that I know is also possible for me. My question is is your mind ready for what your heart wants?
Nia 14:48
Listen, baby. It's a new mindset, new rules to this game. When you are detoxing. You are elevating to some shit you ain't never been in before. We are releasing toxins. We are creating a vessel of new possibility and when you do that, you can invite back in more of the same or you can replace it with new behaviors.
Nia 15:13
Dear Love, here's a toast to investing in ourselves- to protecting our light. A toast to our past- may we leave it there. Our present- may we cherish it. And our future- may the work we do today serve our future self. What will your detox consist of is my question to you? I know in the beginning, the question was, are you lazy or are you thought detoxing, and it really was to provide some of you with hope that if right now you're feeling stuck, maybe if you alter your perspective- you're not stuck- you're just shedding. And because this time is new and you've never done it before, it's uncomfortable. It's frustrating. Also, if you don't focus on what was or what could have been, and you start focusing on what's now. I promise you, you will start to see new possibilities. I want to thank you so much for tuning in again this week. I don't know if it's just me. Maybe it's you too, but this episode will felt a little bit like a detox. Like we are back. And don't forget to check us out on social media. Hit that follow button. Let's keep the conversation growing, flowing and going. And also share this episode with one person who you have recently talked to or who you know who kind of feel stuck. Until next time. I love you
Transcribed by https://otter.ai