Are the decisions you're making aligning with what you say you want?

Hey Love! Have you ever found yourself in a relationship entanglement, unsure of how to navigate? Join me, Nia, as we dive into some real-life relationship scenarios, offering a fresh perspective on love, boundaries, and personal growth. Drawing from the intricate relationship dilemmas of a good friend, we explore everything from uncomfortable advances made by a friend's wife to a blossoming workplace romance. If you find yourself in a Season of Accountability this episode is for you, because when you know... you grow. 

Question: Are the decisions you're making aligning with what you say you want?

Episode Resources: 

• Episode 49: A Fresh Perspective on Friendships and Awkward Flirtations

Show Your Support: 

• Don't forget to give us a review! 
• Send in your questions, stories, or reflections (details below)
• Don't forget to share this episode with 1 person who needs it! 
• You can also support the show by providing a love offering if this message helps you in any way. All donations are used to keep L_ve Frequency growing! 

Transcript

Nia: 0:00

Hey, love, it is so funny meeting you here. I promised you and I'm delivering. It is time to catch up on my friend. For those of you who have no idea what we're talking about, I have a really good friend of mine who has a friend whose wife has been making some unwanted advances. Now, if you've listened to that episode, I'm sure you have thoughts on this conversation, and I cannot wait to share mine. So get comfortable, because things are about to get a little complicated. Yeah, let's say that you are now tuning into love frequency when love grows, so let's go.

Nia: 0:51

Welcome to Love Frequency, the podcast that helps you transform your pain into power. We do that through conversations that inspire and increase a deeper level of self-awareness, and we call that your love frequency. So I am so glad you are tapping in today. I am your host, nia, and, beyond, an advocate of love and a soul speaker. I've been told on that friend that you know you need to talk to, but you don't wanna talk to, because it's those conversations that you've been avoiding, and I'm that friend that's gonna give it to you In love, though, and sometimes love looks like truth. So welcome to Love Frequency and congratulations on you finally choosing you Now, before we get into the story of the week, do you have a question you would like to get a fresher perspective on?

Nia: 1:46

If so, get in touch with me via email or on social media and I'll leave those instructions in the show notes, because here on Love Frequency, we believe when you know you grow, and I think we do that through conversations just like these. So if you are new here, the story of the week are conversations that inspire each week's episode where we dive into a topic about love and we explore it just so we can learn a little bit more about ourselves. And this week's story of the week was brought to you by an episode two weeks ago my really, really, really good friend and accountability. So let's get you caught up. Now. My good friend has a friend and they've been close for a few decades, and this friend of hers, his wife, has been making a one in advances. She didn't know what to do and she asked what would I do? So if you were in my shoes, would you one, continue to ignore it like I've been doing? Two, would you tell the friend? Or, three, would you check the chick? And I gave her my advice. Now I'll link the episode in the show notes. But what do y'all think my friend did?

Nia: 3:17

Now, before we get into all of that interesting fact, I had to remind my friend that we had this exact same conversation before Now. Of course she didn't remember. See, three years ago this same friend was helping me test equipment for an idea I had about this podcast on love and conversations. Listen, I have video evidence of this. This same friend at that time was also asking for a bit of advice. Now, very different scenario, but at that time I also gave her my advice. She said, oh, so maybe I should listen this time, because it didn't go so well last time. So immediately I thought okay, so we weren't planning on taking any of the advice. Huh, and that's okay. She answered in honest form no, not really. I was actually going to have a conversation with the wife, a conversation with the wife with what? How did we end up here Now listen before I could share with her why I felt that was the worst decision of them all. She going to add but that's not the only thing I needed advice on. I just didn't want to hear your mouth for real, so I didn't tell you the first time we talked. Hmm, hmm, okay.

Nia: 4:41

So she goes on to mention that there is somebody at her job who's been hinting that they're interested in getting to know her. So I said so what's her story? Cause y'all know, I assumed that she was going to say that this heaven was married to. Nope, she's single and not seriously dating anyone at the moment. But she is dating. So my friend's first concern is there was a recent incident at her place of employment where people were let go due to inappropriate behavior, and her second concern was it's her boss. The plot thickens, yeah, just a little bit. So what do y'all think? My response was what would your advice have been? My advice to her if you don't dive deep in face first, fool. This one to me is a no brainer. This conversation also makes the first question irrelevant, in my opinion. What are we even doing right now? Like, why are we talking on the phone? You should be somewhere, like not here, not what. So she did admit that she was shocked by my response because it wasn't what she was expecting. And let me give some additional background for those who also may be shocked and concerned about my integrity. My friend is leaving this job very soon Because she was going to stay at the job? Absolutely not. But not only is she leaving the company, she's moving out of state. Bye, bye, come on now.

Nia: 6:22

Third, and to me the most important, this is a grown ass, single ass, available ass woman. I can't believe you even had to ask, stop it, to which she responded in true form. I adore my friend. Well, there's kind of a third question that I want to run by you, then, because I didn't expect such a positive response from the second. Now listen, family. As you can imagine, I'm locked in, just like you are. I'm on the edge of my seat. What could it possibly be? So there's this other person at work. Oh shit, no-transcript. I don't know. I have to pause and take a sip of water. Hold on, hmm.

Nia: 7:14

Now, this is where things shifted, because y'all, her voice changed. She described the vibe of this person. She was speaking from her frequency and expressed Interested, more than just her physical, because she's spending time with her, her family, planning things. I said wait, you're not to eat with her and her kids. What? Oh well, pack it up. You definitely came mess with the boss. Now, sorry that one's gone. Well, that was fun while it lasted, cuz you like this one now.

Nia: 7:52

She didn't deny that she was drawn to her, but she did say well, I'm just not sure. So I'm just gonna see where this goes. So I asked her what do you want? And without hesitation Literally, I don't think she took a breath after I said the T on want. She said that she didn't want to be in a committed relationship. She's at a place in her life where she's excited for this next level, these next opportunities that are becoming available, and she wants to explore that fully, without restrictions, but with openness and Love and Exploration. She's coming into a very new season. So my question is to my friend and my question is to anybody who is experiencing Choice or decision are the decisions you're making aligning with what you say you want? If you've made it this far into the episode, you're about to get into this saltwater, so sit back and take a drink. What is thought water? I'm glad you asked.

Nia: 9:01

This is the part of the show where I share my reflections on the story of the week to offer a fresher perspective and help you turn your pain into power. But sometimes it's the shit you don't want to hear. But that's alright, because if you're here and you've come empty, prepare to leave full. Now let's get into this. Thought water cuz Kylie. So let's review.

Nia: 9:27

Scenario one wife of your friend of two decades is hitting on you. Scenario two your single and available boss is also hitting on you. Scenario three you have been spending time with a co-worker who is shared. She is interested in more your desire not to commit. Can somebody play the Jeopardy theme song for me? What would you do? First of all, can we breathe for a second like? That was a lot. There's a lot to take in, so I just think we need to take a moment for ourselves. All right, if you didn't need it, I needed it. I also believe in all singing. You didn't need it, I needed it.

Nia: 10:11

I also believe, in all seriousness, that my friend has entered a season of accountability, and you might find yourself here too. What I mean by that is when we say we want something, we gotta take a look at the steps we're taking to get us there. Will we make decisions based on the needs of the flesh or desires of the heart and spirit? And while the decisions might seem easy for some, for some of y'all, y'all might say, oh man, I got that. I know which one I would pick. It's very clear. I feel like my friend is being called to face some pretty complex conversations. So let's run this thing on backwards First. Let's talk about the person I know my friend really likes. Let's call her the one First.

Nia: 11:00

My friend and I are both mothers. We know what it's like to be used and discarded, but, moreover, the impact the loss of those interactions have had on our children Huh, I need y'all to be mindful of the decisions you make when children are involved. Also, as a woman who loves women, I believe it is an honor to love a woman and if you're going to do it, do it correctly. When you love a woman, you love a nation. That's a huge responsibility. We are tired of half-assed. We'll see where this goes. So if your true desire is to be free, then you need to end this connection before you end up hurting her or one of the kids unintentionally. However, as we mentioned before, I know my friend is going to do what she wants and she always makes the right choice for her.

Nia: 11:59

I do think my friend wants to be completely immersed in this new season of travel and freedom and exploration, but I also think that she's afraid of trusting someone again and, with that, trying to figure out the complexities of making this connection work at the same time that she plans to move out of state. I think, no matter the decision, this one is going to be the most difficult Because, no matter what decision she makes, someone is going to feel like they lost. I say just choose wisely and make sure that you're basing this decision truly on what you want, while respecting the reason, season or lifetime that this other person might be in. Which brings me to the boss lady. Having had time to really reflect on this scenario, I think I would also leave this one alone.

Nia: 12:57

If your true desire is to travel and enjoy yourself sans a commitment, why be tied down to anything in a state you're leaving behind? Unless you share your desires directly and allow this grown ass, single ass, available ass woman to make her own decision, you might be surprised by the response, and then this would align with the season you say you want, no matter the outcome, but I have a feeling you're not going to disregard the advances because you like it, but you aren't going to engage, although I know you want to. And I only say this because your desires and actions are not aligning, because the universe has provided what you say you want, but you've decided to invest more in what you don't. And the married one Listen, we're going to. We ain't going to get as much energy than we already have. I said what I said and you're going to do what you want to do.

Nia: 14:02

However, I would strongly advise you not to reach out to the wife One. I do feel like that's what she wants. It doesn't matter what energy is being received, she just wants some of your energy, and this is going to put you in a more precarious situation. Add it to the fact that I think this situation you have in this private conversation where would be a little bit more difficult to explain to your friend of 20 years than you just having an honest conversation with your friend directly. Hey, that's just me. Hey, and I'm not going to lie, I'm stuck on. Why is this even a question? I just love how she tells stories. Like it had to get to two conversations and three scenarios to get us here. I feel like I just got off a roller coaster ride.

Nia: 14:53

This one is a non issue. This is something that I feel you've created as a distraction to a far larger scenario. So it takes me right back to my question, love, are the decisions you're making aligning with what you say you want? Hey, love, I think it can be easy to get caught up. When energy is being thrown your way. You ever stop to think about how that energy is distracting you from what's next. Are you sure that you want what you say you want? If so, shit, then start acting like it. Stop creating distractions. I believe what we avoid creates avoid. So what's been filling yours? If it's not what you want, then what are you not facing? Whatever your reason, I know you're going to do what you want to do, but I also believe that you are going to make the best decision for the season you're in and, no matter what you choose, I hope the life lessons learned along the way catapult you forward instead of setting you back.

Nia: 16:36

I want to thank you for spending this time with me again this week. I like when we meet up. I know I say that all the time, but I really do. I love y'all and I appreciate our moments of just being able to be honest and raw and vulnerable. If you like what you hear, please, wherever you're listening to us, please rank the show, Give us five stars, let us know how you feel and add a comment so that other people can get connected. And if you have a story of the week or question of the week, please send those to love frequency via email or on social media. The instructions will be in the show notes and, as always, share this episode with one person who needs to ask themselves do my actions match my manifestations? Because when you know, you grow Until next time I love you.