Be Courageous: Age Gracefully & Zestfully

When my knee screamed with every post-tennis step, I knew aging gracefully was more than a catchphrase; it was a challenge I had to face head-on. That's why I brought Nicole Christina from the Zestful Aging Podcast to join our heartfelt conversation on the beauty and complexity of growing older. Together, we navigate the sometimes overwhelming world of senior housing with expert insights, courtesy of SeniorLivingGuide.com, and address the critical need for an optimistic outlook on maturing. Our discussion is a blend of celebrating life's extended play and managing the physical realities that aging presents, exemplified by my own knee's protest.

This episode isn't about denying the years; it's about dressing them up in authenticity and relishing the wisdom that comes with experience. We tackle the tough topics like confronting ageism and societal pressures with poise, sharing personal anecdotes that encourage listeners to reignite past passions or ignite new ones. Whether it's planning a walk along the Camino in Spain or picking up a new hobby that makes our hearts sing, Nicole and I champion a zestful approach to every chapter of life. It’s about finding fulfillment in solo travel, educational pursuits, and the simple joy of learning something new, all the while embracing the adventures that keep us vibrant at any age.

SeniorLivingGuide.com Podcast sponsored by TransMed Care Long Distance Medical Transportation

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Transcript

SeniorLivingGuide.com podcast discusses topics which are relevant to the everyday lives of seniors and their caregivers. We are joined by experts who share their knowledge on a variety of issues. Seniorlivingguide.com podcast offers solutions and resources to create the best quality of life as we age. And now let's welcome your host, Darleen  Mahoney. 

Speaker 2: 0:27 

Does the idea of searching for senior housing solutions seem overwhelming and you just aren't sure where to even begin? SeniorLivingGuide.com is created just for you. We are here to make sure your senior housing search is easy to navigate and right at your fingertips. We provide details on communities to include retirement 55 plus, independent assisted living, skilled nursing, memory care and even home health and home care solutions, all in one easy to navigate website allowing you to decide which best fits your needs and connecting you directly with those communities and senior solutions. Visit us online today at seniorlivingguidecom and you can start destressing. I would like to thank and express our sincere gratitude to our SeniorLivingGuide.com podcast sponsor. Transmed Care Long Distance Medical Transportation. When a loved one with a disability or medical condition needs to relocate, transmed Care is here to help with safe and secure nationwide medical transport services, with an emphasis on comfort and care. 

Speaker 3: 1:57 

TransMed Care Long Distance Medical Transportation is a business built on care. Another satisfied customer writes. 

Speaker 4: 2:04 

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Speaker 3: 2:19 

To learn more about TransMed Care, visit the website at trans-medcarecom. 

Speaker 2: 2:25 

And today we are joined by Nicole Christina with the Zestful Aging Podcast, which she engages her listeners with life, with curiosity and joy. So we're going to talk about Aging, Zesful Aging. Nicole is also a longevity coach and a psychotherapist, so welcome to the podcast. 

Speaker 5: 2:46 

It's so nice to be here with you again, Darleen. 

Speaker 2: 2:49 

Yeah, absolutely so. Just a little background. This is a little bit of a different podcast. I met you at a healthcare amplified summit for podcasters and we really hit it off. We really did Absolutely and so much stuff that we talked about I thought our listeners would really get a benefit out of. So I'm really excited to talk to you more about some of the things that you've been able to learn, experience and share through your podcast and personal life. 

Speaker 5: 3:17 

Okay, I'd love to do that. You know, I think it was really evident when we were on a panel together. We were really kind of riffing off of each other and there were some comments like do you know each other? Or whatever. But we played off each other really well because I think we have a similar mission and that is to bring an optimism to aging and not buy into some of the ageist's narratives, which is it's all downhill from here. So what I like to talk about and it's not as maybe flashy as something you might see on a post on Facebook, but I actually don't believe aging is just a number. I think the number means something and I think that the real trick and it is a trick is how do we both appreciate being on the right side of the grass, so to speak, and being alive and having some freedoms, with the reality that there are losses, and by losses I mean maybe your body isn't working as well as it did, and I can say that for myself that after I play tennis with my friends my doubles, friends the next day my knees really hurt. That's just sort of the price of admission, and that wasn't always the case, and so it's this fine line. I sort of see this as you're constantly negotiating the gratitude of maybe, if you're an empty nest, or having more time, maybe having more resources, getting to travel, getting to do things you never had the time or were energy to do with the reality that if I'm going to be hiking Machu Picchu or whatever, I better bring some knee support or extra Advil. So that's kind of my thing is sort of the reality of aging, where there are such great parts but there's a reality to it as well and I don't want to deny that? 

Speaker 2: 5:31 

Yeah, absolutely, because we do talk about ages, just a number, and I do feel like in this day and time, what my mom was in her 40s and in her 50s is different than what we're Experiencing now. We're. We're experiencing, sure I feel, like a healthier lifestyle Potentially, and there's so much stuff out there, if you want to talk about the you know, physical look so much out there With Botox and med spas and all these different things that just keep us looking a little bit younger, but that doesn't always affect what's happening on the inside. So you can look amazing on the outside and you're, and your knees are in pain on the inside. 

Speaker 5: 6:09 

So I think that's a really good. And you know, there the the sad truth is, biology always wins. You know you can see somebody who's had just too much work and it doesn't look good. I, I there's a. I live near Syracuse University and there's a certain kind of Sort of uniform, shall we say, for undergrads and it's different than what you guys have because we're in the cold climate, but there's some kind of Patagonia or North face jacket, and then there's a long straight Kardashian and then there may be Uggs or whatever. And I was a grocery shopping not too long ago and I saw a woman from behind and I thought, oh, undergrad from Syracuse. And she turned around and she had to be, you know, at least my age, maybe older, and I thought that is just not a good look to fight it like that. You know it just doesn't. It makes your brain kind of Hurt, like, wait a minute, you look like you're trying to look like you're 20. Why not wear something that you love, that's comfortable, that's luxurious, but that that suits your age? And I don't mean don't wear mini skirts, so that's what you like, but it's just that you don't have to pretend you're younger, because being older is just fine. 

Speaker 2: 7:31 

Yeah, and I think it does get harder as we get older because society really does push Looking younger, push all the products. 

Speaker 5: 7:41 

Yeah, denying our age. If we don't feel bad about our wrinkles, we're not gonna be buying stuff, so that's the trick there. But I will also say, as somebody who's a clinical social worker and very steeped in all this Influences I live in the US, or in the world, because it's not just the US, and I have the same, same feeling of pressures. I just may be a little more rebellious than you know, than some, but yeah, for sure. I mean, ageism is a real thing and if we're gonna deny it, I think we're doing ourselves a disservice. 

Speaker 2: 8:20 

Yeah, I absolutely agree. So a lot of things you talk about on your podcast and in the way that you feel is that Accept your age but really enjoy your life and sometimes, if you're not focusing on the outward Appearance, you can really just go for it. You can do all the things, all the things. I love that all the things. 

Speaker 5: 8:42 

Let me tell you about some things. So I have a one, a group of tennis player women. We're all over 60 and I know you know this because I talk about it constantly. So we're gonna all go to northern Spain in a couple months and walk part of the Camino, and I know it is going to be hard because this particular Camino is very up and down, very bolder. It's gonna be hard, I'm gonna be in pain. I am already Bringing my podiatrist is giving me an emergency pack of steroids and Meloxicam and all this stuff, but that's something I couldn't have done while I was raising my son or working a ton. I'm not working as much anymore. So there are these adventures and I think that we're in the sweet spot where our body's still functioning and we may have more time, we may have more resources. And we say to ourselves now, like, what would be wildly fun for me? What would be a wild adventure? And Not everybody has the same idea of what's fun, right? I mean, some people want to do hot air balloon. That wouldn't do it for me. Some people want to go to Hike in Vietnam. That's not something that particularly appeals to me, but I think we get to ask the question like what would really light me up? And that's different than what might be true for you. You know, I want to see some things that are like, like, for example, choosing where to go, like for me, iceland was such a treat and a privilege to be there. It's a little weird there. It looks different, you know that kind of thing. So what, what does make your heart sing and who are the people who might want to do that with you? That's the fun part. You. 

Speaker 2: 10:39 

Yeah, absolutely. I have a senior in my life that has taken on guitar lessons, Love it, Because she was never able to do that. So she actually does look for all of these, like I want to almost say like quirky out of the box. Absolutely, Because she's not a big traveler, which people a lot of times associate. You know, when you retire you get to travel, which is totally my dream, but it's not everyone's dream. They may be more homebodies, but they still want to learn different things and I think that that is actually something that can be explored by our seniors that don't just put yourself in a box where you're, you know, you're doing your arts and crafts that you've always done, or you're just going out to eat, or you're just doing all these things. Look for something fun and unique candle making, you know what. Whatever floats your boat. 

Speaker 5: 11:29 

I think that is so well said. I belong to a knitting group in my little town and some people are doing stuff. I'm like, wow, that is so far beyond me. Like they're, you know there's a sheep farm near us, so they're like dying their own wool and spin. I'm like, wow, I'm just ordering it online and I'm knitting. You know, that's about what I can do. But that's exactly it. Like what is the worst that can happen? I tried this felting class with a friend of mine. I'm like this is not for me. I mean, you're just sort of sticking a sharp, it's like a pin in this wool, and then it turns into whatever and it's adorable and cute. It just seems to mean not interesting at all and like so what? I spent an afternoon doing something. I made a little gnome or whatever. Lesson learned I'm not going to go back, but that's it, that's. And there's so many meetups now and there's so many ways to meet people who are doing things that you're kind of curious about. The thing I hear and I don't know if this is something that you hear too is that my clients will say to me but I don't know anybody, but that's going to be awkward and yes, that's right. It's not like when we were in college and it's really easy to make friends because they're sitting next to you or they're in your dorm and you're eating with them. It is harder to make friends as we age. There's a really interesting book called Plotonic. I don't know if you've heard of it, but it's about a researcher who's like people don't know how to make friends anymore. The world has changed. I've really liked that and I've shared that with my clients. And the reality is, yeah, sometimes it's a little awkward to say, hey, do you want to go get a cup of coffee or a wine or whatever? But somebody's got to make the first step and it's important to have a group, a network and people you feel a sense of belonging with. So somebody's got to do it and you'll survive. If they say no, I'm too busy, you really will survive. 

Speaker 2: 13:44 

Yeah, absolutely. And all they can do is say no, right, right, yeah. And I think that if you're looking into different activities in different areas, you're going to meet people with the same passions. If you're doing group activities and you may make those connections that way, like I mentioned, like the candle making or different things like that so if you start getting involved in that, you're going to meet like-minded people that enjoy the same activities and then that can definitely stretch into dinner and happy hours and Absolutely yeah. 

Speaker 5: 14:15 

And retreats. So I mentioned this knitting group where I'm like I don't know what you would call it the most conventional girl there, and there's a big retreat down in the Hudson River Valley. It's pretty far from us it's like three and a half hours, but it is a massive yarn. Knitting. People come from all over the world and I'm hoping that next fall we get a van and we all go down together. That's not something I do by myself and I know that you're familiar with the research. That exercises important, sleep is important, food is important, but connection comes out on top almost every time and it's because we're mammals and we're wired to be with our pod or whatever you want to call them, our tribe, and so loneliness is something we really need to avoid. It's not just uncomfortable, it's dangerous. 

Speaker 2: 15:20 

Oh, it absolutely is, and it's epidemic. I think it's becoming more and more of an issue with our older population. The isolation, the loneliness and some of it, I think, kind of got catapulted during COVID and I'm not sure that we've clearly made a recovery. I know that our younger generations have not. So it is super important to make friendships, look for people to connect with, and even if you're going to try something like you mentioned, your Nome project right, it wasn't your thing, but you did it you tried it. Now you know it's not your thing, it's not your thing, but you know what. You got a Nome out of it. So it's. 

Speaker 5: 16:00 

I got a Nome out of it. I tried a drumming group and you know it sounded great. I was familiar with the guy because he's a local sound guy meditation, whatever and I was like, yeah, this is so fun, it was on the lake, it was all lovely. I was like it just didn't click for me. I don't know why. I thought it was going to be like buddies with my you know, my fellow drummers, but they were all like into their rhythm and I'm like, okay, but then I got on the mailing list for this other stuff. So, yeah, I think it's like part of it is knowing, accepting that it's trial and error and you'll always have a story and you can come back to your friends or partner or whatever and say, oh my God, that was embarrassing, or I was terrible at that, or I'm never going back there. 

Speaker 2: 16:50 

Yeah, I already know I have no coordination. Okay, not that I don't enjoy dancing and doing those things. I love it. Okay, I'm just terrible at it. You do what you enjoy as well, I think, even if you're not amazing at it. Especially as we get older, I think anyone should be doing that as well. But as we get older and we're aging, it's so important to feel good about ourselves and have that energy and just that comfort that you get when you are doing things that you enjoy, even if you're not the best at it. I know I can not do Zumba. I 100% know that Zumba, I am stepping on people's feet. 

Speaker 5: 17:27 

That's the worst, when you're so out of the rhythm. Yeah, it's so hard. But who doesn't love Zumba? Right Right, their music's great. 

Speaker 2: 17:37 

It's super fun. If you're not good at it, who cares? You're getting out there. Well, we actually have got to take a break for our podcast sponsors, transmedcare, long Distance Medical Transportation, and we will be right back. 

Speaker 6: 17:52 

Hi, this is Andrew Brainerd, owner of TransMedCare Long Distance Medical Transportation. When the time comes to relocate a loved one under medical care, TransMedCare is here to help. We offer nationwide medical transport services with fully customized vans providing all the comforts of home and licensed medical professionals to accompany your loved one along every mile. At TransMedCare, nothing is more important than bringing your loved one home safely. Visit our website at trans-medcarecom. 

Speaker 5: 18:22 

There's an expression you might be aware of called failing freely. It's like, hey, here I go, I'm terrible at it and watch me fail Exactly, and that's fine. 

Speaker 2: 18:35 

Yeah, Even like karaoke. How many people are good at karaoke? Not a whole lot, but that doesn't mean they're not getting up there singing their little hearts out. And when you get up there and you sing your little heart out, I'm telling you you feel amazing afterwards. 

Speaker 5: 18:49 

It takes courage. I think aging well and aging zespally does call on courage. We've never been here before. It's a new phase and we're not always getting a ton of support. We kind of have to be intentional and make our own good lives because, as you said before, the pressures are like oh my gosh, you've got age spots and wrinkles and this and that, so what else can I balance that out with? It takes some effort. I would say that, yeah, and I think that it's important to remember. No one's going to come knocking on our door and say hey, join our awesome group. We have to find it, and I've actually found that with podcasters we have something, particularly who focus on older folks. 

Speaker 2: 19:44 

We kind of have an understanding or a natural affinity, and that's been really nice, yeah part of that on my end is people that really have a passion for their audience, whether it's a senior audience or younger audience, or you know someone that works with grieving groups or caregiver groups. The passion is there and I think that that's so great with a lot of these podcasts, because I don't think people do a podcast about something they don't care about. 

Speaker 5: 20:16 

Yeah, it won't last long, that's for sure. 

Speaker 2: 20:19 

No, that's absolutely for sure. So one of the things that I was thinking about with the aging process and finding different things that you enjoy doing, I feel like if you have a little bit of butterfly, you know it's something you want to do, but it's something that you're a little afraid to do. I think you have to get past those like little jitters or butterflies that you get and I know what. You know what I'm talking about, because everybody gets them. It's a nervous reaction to something that you haven't tried before and I think just powering through that and acknowledging it is where you're going to get the most benefit, because it's hard to do that sometimes you can let that control your joy in life. You shouldn't be doing that. 

Speaker 5: 20:59 

It's funny, I think my clients are going to. I had this fantasy that they all get together and sort of repeat the phrases that I always use, and one of them is of course, of course. And if you're going to do something new, that's a little challenging, that's a little different, and you get butterflies. I think the phrase to yourself is of course, I've never done this before, I've never gone whatever snorkeling, or I've never gone whatever. And I've been aware and I'm sure you are too darling that a lot of folks, a lot of women, after 50, are starting to want to well back to traveling again and they're going to some very interesting places and they're traveling solo. And I think that's a different skill. And even joining a travel group that you're just going by yourself, it's like I don't want to be the one who's not invited to the lunch table. It does take a bit of a push, but if we think about the very end of our life and we think about what would I regret, it's usually the things we didn't do, we didn't choose, not the things we did. And so I want to live a life that is like I said yes. I said yes, a lot. Did it always work out no, but I said yes, like here's an example I was in Costa Rica and for those of your listeners who have done that huge zip line, it is really frightening because you're in the cloud mountain and you cannot see, and it is a long way down. And so, like, first you're in a cloud and you're like holding on, and then all of a sudden the cloud opens and you're like, wow, I could be in an airplane and I was afraid I had to kind of use all of my therapy skills to keep my anxiety in check, but I'm so glad I did that, you know, and that's just an example. The other thing I want to say is I have clients who are like I have no idea what I want to do. You know, I don't know what my fun, my happy place, is, because I've been raising kids or being a partner, taking care of my parents or and working really hard. I have no idea. And I'm always surprised when my I have clients who are you know, they're really bright, they're successful and they just look at me like deer in the headlights. One of the things that I will ask them is what did you used to do as a kid that you really liked. And there's just like this oh, I used to love to draw, or I used to love to take pictures, or I used to love taking care of my guinea pig, or whatever. And then we go back to how can we bring that into present day, and so that's a really effective way that I found to help people identify what they might be wanting to pursue. Now that they have time, it's almost like 100% guaranteed that they'll find that, oh yeah, I used to do this or I used to. You know, they have all kinds of different stuff depending on where in the country you were raised or whatever. And then we bring that in and that can be really a lovely evolution of bringing it back and developing it some more. 

Speaker 2: 24:32 

And I think when people retire and I've heard the expression I'm not going to retire because I don't have anything to do, I don't have any hobbies, so create those hobbies. I mean, don't work yourself into the grave if you don't have to, because there is life that you can enjoy. It's just figuring it out what it is. 

Speaker 5: 24:49 

And if we look at Brani Ware's famous book, the Five Regrets of the Dying, number one is I wish I wouldn't have worked too hard. You know, I think about that myself. I talk to my clients about that and it's exactly as you say, like yeah, you can work, but what else brings you joy? What else brings satisfaction and pleasure? Let's look at that. I mean, the thing about it is there's so many cool things to do. If you just scratch the surface Now, you know you can find like all kinds of like cooking classes that people just go and even just do a day, and maybe you're never going to cook Thai food or Indian food, whatever. It's just something that's better than sitting in your recline or scrolling Facebook. 

Speaker 2: 25:41 

Absolutely. You know, there's even a cooking class in our area and I don't cook, I don't enjoy cooking. I can cook something according to the recipe and it never turns out completely correct. I don't, I do not have the knack, but going to a cooking class a lot of times you're really you're not doing all the cooking, so it's not like you're in your own kitchen, unsupervised, exactly, and you're drinking some wine and you're meeting people and you're sharing in the joy of messing up or whatever the case may be, and there's so many of those opportunities in so many different towns and I think that we really forget to connect with those and that type of thing. So I absolutely agree. 

Speaker 5: 26:23 

Do you have an oasis down? I'm not familiar, I know where you live, but I don't know what's offered. We have something called oasis and it's a national organization and they have retired professors and you can go and listen to a retired professor talk about geopolitics or the Cold War or Carl Jung. I mean. There's just a lot there. It's not just watercolors and macrame. I mean nothing wrong with that, because I'm playing with watercolors too, but like stuff, like I have no idea of the history of photography or something. 

Speaker 2: 27:07 

And even learning photography. I mean I think that would be really that's something I have always wanted to do is to really deep dive into learning photography and how to really do it on a digital camera. So I think that that's a fun and those are just courses in a college. I mean that's not any specific meetup or group or senior specific. I mean those are courses in your local college. So those are some great opportunities as well. 

Speaker 5: 27:31 

And back to you know it is a little nerve wracking. When you enter that room you'll have butterflies and we can expect that, and if it's the worst thing you've ever done, you don't have to go back, right, but it's probably going to be pretty fun. 

Speaker 2: 27:50 

Yeah, absolutely I agree with you on that. I think that Zestful Aging, which is the name of your podcast. I looked up the definition and it's characterized by great enthusiasm and energy. So it's aging. Even if your knees are hurting or this is happening or whatever, you still have to like have enthusiasm about your life. You know we talk about bucket lists, so bucket lists are definitely something in Zestful Aging you want to have and I think you just need to keep adding to it once you complete something. So that's exactly what we want to really get across to our listeners today is that keep doing your bucket lists. Feel energized, Feel positive about who you are, no matter what stage in life you are, no matter how you look on the outside. It really is about having a full and happy life. It really doesn't matter. All the other stuff is just. It's just stuff. 

Speaker 5: 28:43 

That's individual to you. You know, and I love what you said earlier quirky, out of the box, because that's my brand Quirky, my personal brand. Quirky and out of the box. You know, not everybody is going to like doing what I do. It's because you're a unique human and you know, maybe you're not a pickleballer, maybe you're a badminton person, or walks or water rubrics, whatever, You'll know it because you'll feel it. You'll say, yeah, I'm home, this is me Exactly. 

Speaker 2: 29:17 

Even if it's volunteerism. I think that that's something that people have a huge passion about and it brings huge joy into their life. Do it. 

Speaker 5: 29:24 

And make sure you love it, because volunteering just for volunteering's sake is problematic. You want to feel that what you're describing it's just that, like yep feels great, I feel fulfilled, and that's what we're looking for. 

Speaker 2: 29:41 

Yes. Passion in your life? Yeah, even as you age? Yes, absolutely. That's fabulous. Thank you so much for joining us on this podcast. Such a pleasure. If you're listening and you want to check out her podcast, it is Zestville Aging Podcast. Thank you, everyone and I'll see you in the next one.