A Roadmap for Caregivers: Empower Yourself!

In this episode, host Darleen Mahoney and special guest Christie Freeze tackle a topic that's close to many hearts: the impact of falls on caregivers and their loved ones. They'll explore proactive measures like home safety consultations and practical solutions like grab bars to make homes safer.

Listen in as they delve into the evolution of senior living communities and the pivotal role of self-care for caregivers. Christie Freeze, an eldercare advocate with over twelve years of experience, will share her insights on family unity, structured communication, and spotting signs that indicate the need for additional care.

From personal stories of cognitive decline to the importance of empathy and understanding, this episode is packed with valuable tips. We'll also hear about Christie's indispensable book, "Roadmap for Eldercare," (Buy it here) which equips caregivers with the knowledge they need before a crisis hits.

Join us as we navigate the often overwhelming world of elder care, providing you with the roadmap and support necessary to make informed and compassionate decisions.

Roadmap for Eldercare: Click Here

 SeniorLivingGuide.com Podcast sponsored by TransMed Care Long Distance Medical Transportation

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Transcript

Darleen Mahoney [00:00:02]:
And today we are with Christy Freeze. She is a passionate advocate for eldercare and a seasoned expert in navigating the complexities of the elder care system, which is super complex. With over twelve years experience in the field, Christy has dedicated her career to supporting families through the challenging journey of caring for aging loved ones. And Christy has written a book. It is called the Roadmap for Eldercare and it was created to excel at giving caregivers a safe space and support, which is so needed. But this roadmap really offers the missing link between the people oriented, emotional aspects of caregiving and the practical, technical side of caregiving as well. Thank you. Welcome to the podcast, Christy.

Christie Freeze [00:00:49]:
Thanks so much. I'm excited to be here today.

Darleen Mahoney [00:00:51]:
I'm excited to have you. So, you know, on this podcast, a lot of times we talk about, you know, dementia, we talk about a lot of things that are, that are health related or nutrition related. And a lot of times those caregivers kind of get lost in the shuffle, their needs. And I was a caregiver and I do know that it is the hardest job you'll ever had that you earn no money. So it's so important to be able to navigate that in a healthy way because it can go sideways real fast.

Christie Freeze [00:01:22]:
Very fast. Yes. And I was noticing in my time within senior living that, yes, I was focused on helping individuals find the right fit. But you're right is the caregivers that have no idea sometimes what to do, what to expect, who to turn to for resources and support through this. And so that's why I thought I would create this.

Darleen Mahoney [00:01:45]:
No, I love it. I'm so excited that you did. And we'll share the link where they can access that and they can actually download it correctly.

Christie Freeze [00:01:51]:
Yeah. So I've got the download option on the website, but then the roadmap for eldercare did just get published on Amazon, which is a huge deal because we get everything from Amazon. And so I just wanted it to be accessible for people everywhere. But yeah, whichever way people would prefer to have it, it's available in many ways.

Darleen Mahoney [00:02:12]:
That's awesome. So let's get into it a little bit and talk about some of the things that you share within that book. So you have something you call care keys. What are care keys?

Christie Freeze [00:02:23]:
Yeah, so I always say that if somebody doesn't make it past that first couple of pages, it would be a value to them. And the care keys are just key vocabulary that you might not know or recognize when you're starting to navigate senior care, navigate your caregiving journey. I think that it reminds me of webmding our own symptoms sometimes, and that can be a little dangerous.

Darleen Mahoney [00:02:48]:
I do not recommend that.

Christie Freeze [00:02:50]:
Do not recommend. Do not recommend. But this is similar, right? When folks go to the googles of the world or just the Internet in general to search for this type of information, I think that you can land in some really not so great or positive or encouraging places. And having been in the industry for as long as I have, I know that there are tons of resources, there's tons of support, there's tons of outlets to get you the information that you need. But I think that that starts with a really well educated search process. So the care keys are just key vocabulary. I've listed all of, like, the most common, you know, vocabulary that we use. I think within the space, we say, like, LTC or Al or MC, and nobody really knows that that means long term care or assisted living or memory care.

Christie Freeze [00:03:39]:
And so just, and these definitions are not like, you know, a beautiful Webster dictionary. They're just my interpretation and, like, layman's terms, so that the average person can understand what these words mean and how to use them in their search.

Darleen Mahoney [00:03:56]:
I absolutely agree with you. When I first started in senior living, which was like six, seven years ago, I, you know, I came from a marketing aspect of just pretty much anything in general. And senior living is super different. And really, some of the first things that I did was learn all those terminologies, like what is an IL, which is an independent living, which is a ALF assisted living facility. So it's crazy because you really do have to learn it. But if you're in it, you forget that people around you don't know what the heck you're talking about. Like, you're speaking a different language.

Christie Freeze [00:04:28]:
Foreign language. Yeah. And I think that, again, I was in that space for a really long time. I've been in, you know, many different capacities along the way, but I've had to be really mindful of when we're talking to a family, especially, that's brand new to their caregiving journey. We do need to unpack what those things mean and how they actually relate to that individual, or else we're just kind of going right over their head and it's not helpful. And they leave more confused and worried and maybe concerned. Thank. They walked in.

Christie Freeze [00:05:04]:
Right, right.

Darleen Mahoney [00:05:05]:
And I do know that when you are looking for certain things, you may think you need a certain level of care or your loved one needs a certain level of care. And the reality is, that's not correct. I know that we have on seniorliving guide.com, comma, we have the option for independent living and 55 plus. A lot of people don't know what the difference of those two are, right? Because they're different.

Christie Freeze [00:05:27]:
They're different and even like something as simple. But again, when you're in the caregiving seat might not seem simple, but something as simple as the difference between home care and home health. Yes. Like, I think that that's used really interchangeably a lot and they're different. And it's not like something that you need to become an expert in by any means. But my hope with this resource is that people would be able to look at this list, have just a foundational understanding, feel a little bit more confident in navigating whatever it is they're going through, and feel, like I said, confident that they have the right terminology for what it is they're needing.

Darleen Mahoney [00:06:06]:
Right. When you go into caregiving, whether you're living in the home with that person or you're starting to make some decisions or helping them make some decisions for themselves, I think you have to educate yourself and so many of us don't. I know. I'll be honest with you, I was thrown into it. I wasn't educated, I didn't do my research, and it was very difficult for me to navigate and I would never do it that way again. I've learned so much through the process. But then also what I've been seeing, you know, since we started doing this podcast, I've learned a lot as well, but it would be a totally different caregiving experience that I, that I went through knowing all that I know now. Knowledge is power.

Christie Freeze [00:06:47]:
Knowledge is power. And, you know, just to kind of reflect back to you, like, you're not alone in that. I think that that's more common than everyone thinks. I think that everyone that gets thrown into caregiving and has had a similar journey as you thinks that that's how it's like, that's the only way. And it's not until you get into it, you do become a little bit more well informed that you're like, oh, that could have probably been an easier journey for me. And so I know with the resource I offer and the work that I do, like, obviously my goal is always to get in front of people and educate folks before they're in a crisis type situation. It reminds me of when people are pregnant and having babies and how everyone is like, oh, you should get this book, you should have this. Do you know about doing this? And we gather around you know, mothers and fathers, and we're like, prepping for them to bring life into the world.

Christie Freeze [00:07:42]:
And it's almost as if we forget that entirely when the time comes to start shifting how we're taking care of aging loved ones. And so I'm trying to kind of recreate that a little bit.

Darleen Mahoney [00:07:53]:
I absolutely love that analogy.

Christie Freeze [00:07:55]:
Yes.

Darleen Mahoney [00:07:56]:
That is incredible because I've never thought of it that way. But you're right. You know, I think, you know, in my time, I'm going to probably age myself, but maybe it's still around. It's the book what to expect when you're expecting.

Christie Freeze [00:08:07]:
Yes.

Darleen Mahoney [00:08:07]:
It's the Bible for pregnancy.

Christie Freeze [00:08:09]:
Yes.

Darleen Mahoney [00:08:10]:
Yeah.

Christie Freeze [00:08:11]:
And it's like the moment that you announce that you're pregnant or that your spouse is pregnant, everyone like, oh, I've done that before. I know how to help you. I can help you be prepared for this and navigate this with ease. Like, here's some tips and ideas and, you know, things to consider. And it's. I really believe that as we shift as a collective, that conversation will catch up to when it comes to taking care of aging loved ones. To me, it's no different. Like, the stage of life might be different, but the process is very much the same.

Christie Freeze [00:08:45]:
We can still offer roadmaps or solutions or tools or support groups. Like there are, in my opinion, probably just as many resources as there are for when someone's bringing life into the world. We just don't talk about them. Which is why I'm so happy that this podcast exists and that people are having these conversations, because I think it's just fear. I think if we talk about it, it will reduce some of that fear and empower people to want to be educated on this.

Darleen Mahoney [00:09:16]:
Absolutely. And the education as we were talking about that is such a key. And where do you start? So, I do know, as we talked about, a lot of people go online and they start looking things up, and that can take you down rabbit trails. I mean, there's so much stuff online. It really can be very difficult to navigate, can be confusing, and then you really don't know what you're doing. You're literally, you know, you have a roadmap. This is like the wild, wild west online because, you know, everything's on there.

Christie Freeze [00:09:44]:
Yeah. And there's analysis, paralysis.

Darleen Mahoney [00:09:47]:
Yeah.

Christie Freeze [00:09:48]:
So many things.

Darleen Mahoney [00:09:49]:
Yeah, yeah. It's. It's absolutely overwhelming. I'm. I'm the type of person that I want bullet points. Just give me dick. Tick, tick, tick, tick, and I will stick with it all day long. But if you give me like paragraphs and footnotes, I'm out.

Christie Freeze [00:10:02]:
Yeah, that's why the goal with this, it's very like, I know no one can see this, but you can see it. It's very thin. It's just a 36 page guide and it's set up like a workbook. So it's very much, you know, easy to consume. The goal with this was not to make it like a novel. I don't want to read that. And so I have to assume that family members that are within a crisis or, you know, even just starting to have these conversations that might not feel super exciting or positive, they can be, they can be neutral. We can come at them, you know, with a little bit more just neutral energy and use this as just a guide and then be able to go make really good choices for yourself and your loved one based on what you learn here.

Darleen Mahoney [00:10:50]:
Right. So some of the things that you talk about in the, in it as five pages of self care ideas. So what are some of those ideas? Can you share a little bit of that with me?

Christie Freeze [00:10:58]:
I would love to. And yeah, so I added these five pages of self care in. Originally I had thought and care by Christie is the name of my business and website and all of that, but care actually stands for creating a roadmap for elder care. I don't know if you knew that.

Darleen Mahoney [00:11:15]:
I didn't.

Christie Freeze [00:11:16]:
Yeah. So a little bit of a play there, but my thought was, yes, I need to provide the information that I've gathered over the last twelve years, but I also know that caregivers need to take care of themselves and that's not what they're going to go seek out. Like, I think that the chance of a caregiver going to Amazon and like specifically finding a self care book for themselves is slim and this has them baked in. So that way it's just kind of, you know, very subtle. So one of the, one of my favorite things is words are power. And so I think that something as simple as saying we have to do versus we get to do, you know, I've heard it many times where we have to do some things for our loved one or we have to do this so we can't do this. And something just as simple as shifting your perspective on that. My dad passed away when he was 46, I was 17.

Christie Freeze [00:12:14]:
So I didn't get to do any of those things. I don't have to do them, but I didn't get to do them. And so it's just very subtle shifts. One of the other things is tracking to attract. And so it's just talking about gratitude and being mindful of the things that are going well. And I always say, start a notes thread or a notepad or a post it note. Simply the act of writing down three things you're grateful for will dramatically shift how your days go and your months go. I think that sometimes we get a little too deep into that caregiving journey to think that nothing is going well.

Christie Freeze [00:12:52]:
And if you stop and just take a moment to reflect, there's tons of things that are going well. So those are two of them. That's just one page of the self care pages. But there's tons of great stuff in here.

Darleen Mahoney [00:13:05]:
So I agree with you, because I do think that when you become a caregiver, kind of depending on your level of care, you get so caught up in all the stuff, the crazy, the scheduling of appointments, the taking care of that person. Oh, the medication. I will tell you, my dad, when I really realized he needed some help with the medication, is he would not put them in a pill box. I think he thought that would just make him feel old or sick or something. He absolutely refused. So he would put them out and put post it notes on times he was supposed to take them. And you go over there and the post it notes are on the ground. So what does this go to? Because they don't stick forever.

Christie Freeze [00:13:47]:
No.

Darleen Mahoney [00:13:48]:
Yeah. And it was just the worst thing, trying to figure out. And then he had, like, old medication, and then he had supplements that I don't, you know, whether they.

Christie Freeze [00:13:56]:
Medication is a slippery slope. I think that that's something that, you know, kind of going back to the brand new baby analogy, like, that's something that none of us are, like, well versed in. We're not a pharmacist. We're not, you know, generally, we don't have that baseline knowledge. And so leaning on there's tools and there are solutions out there to kind of help with that. You know, maybe would make a person feel like, oh, I don't have to have the pill box, but maybe I can have an automatic pill dispenser that tells me it's time to take this medication at this time.

Darleen Mahoney [00:14:30]:
Yeah, no, absolutely. I would have been on that all day long. He was so stubborn. I can't even tell you. He was super stubborn. But, yeah, absolutely. The pill thing or the medication management is a big one. And it's important because if you start getting medications mixed up, depending on what they are, you could have a real problem.

Christie Freeze [00:14:48]:
Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely. I think about kind of the domino effect that I've seen over the last little bit over a decade. And it's, especially when those medications do get mixed up and balance is an issue, a fall happens. That's kind of a domino effect, that if we can avoid that at all cost, that's going to really set you up for greater success.

Darleen Mahoney [00:15:10]:
Yeah, absolutely. And I will tell you as a caregiver, you never want your loved one to fall. That that will absolutely alter their lives, potentially, and it will alter yours, because now you not only have someone that may have some cognitive issues or just need some help with, you know, the general going ons of life, but now they have physical disabilities, per se.

Christie Freeze [00:15:33]:
Yeah, yeah, for sure. And there's, again, like, I think that this is just how my brain works now, but, you know, there's so many things that can be preventative, but I think that we don't really talk about those because it's typically more of a reaction based conversation. So I would really love to just see as time goes on, more proactive conversations like reach out to home safety coach, reach out to people that can come help, you know, maybe modify the home and give you ideas on how to make your home safer if that's the scenario that you're navigating, because. Yeah, like you said, somebody falls and they go to the hospital, they go to rehab, they come back home, they're not strong enough to come home, and then we just kind of domino throughout that.

Darleen Mahoney [00:16:18]:
Right, exactly. So you just mentioned something about a resource. Is that a resource that's online? The caregiver? What did you call it?

Christie Freeze [00:16:26]:
So that's home safety coach.

Darleen Mahoney [00:16:28]:
Oh, that's it.

Christie Freeze [00:16:30]:
You can just look her up@homesafetycoach.com. i actually did an interview with her. It's been a couple of years ago now, but she does virtual consultations where she will basically be shown around your house and let you kind of tell her what the normal day to day looks like. And she is a physical therapist, I believe, by trade. And so she's really able to help offer solutions that keep you feeling confident and safe in your home longer.

Darleen Mahoney [00:16:59]:
Yeah. Because we do know that grab bars are so important in a bathroom.

Christie Freeze [00:17:04]:
Yeah.

Darleen Mahoney [00:17:04]:
And I even saw that, like, the. And they can be beautiful. They don't have to look. Yeah, you can really do it. Nice. So anyone listening, you can make it look really pretty.

Christie Freeze [00:17:12]:
Always. Yes.

Darleen Mahoney [00:17:13]:
Yeah. And then the actual toilet paper roll was an actual grab bar because you think you're sitting there, you may need something to, like, push yourself up, push yourself up. Yeah, 100%. I thought that was the coolest thing when I saw that.

Christie Freeze [00:17:28]:
I think just in general, right. Anybody listening to this can kind of think back on how things have evolved and progressed since, you know, ten years ago, 15 years ago. So when you think about if your preconceived notion of this type of stuff is from 30, 40 years ago, it has shifted and evolved and changed and it's, you know, like you said, you can make these things so beautiful. I have worked in the most elegant, just luxurious retirement communities that I'm like, I'd move in here today.

Darleen Mahoney [00:18:01]:
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Sometimes even when I'm working with some of my clients, I'm like, oh, they have happy hour. Ooh, they have wine night.

Christie Freeze [00:18:09]:
Oh, a salon.

Darleen Mahoney [00:18:11]:
I know I am, I am out.

Christie Freeze [00:18:13]:
Yes, a salon. The fitness center, a theater. When I worked within a senior living actual community, I would tell people all the time, I'm like, listen, I don't qualify, but if we combine our ages, we could move in here together. Yeah, they're like, you would move in here? I was like, yesterday, yeah, someone's going to take care of all my stuff for me. Heck yes.

Darleen Mahoney [00:18:33]:
Yeah, exactly, exactly. Well, it's scary when you start getting into that 55 age range because you're thinking there is no way. But there's now 50, there's 55 communities now. A lot of them are shifting to 62 plus. But because, you know, I think fifties is the new forties. We got to go with that.

Christie Freeze [00:18:50]:
Absolutely. It is. Absolutely.

Darleen Mahoney [00:18:53]:
I'll just keep telling myself that.

Christie Freeze [00:18:54]:
Listen, I support you in this fully.

Darleen Mahoney [00:18:56]:
Exactly. So we talked a little bit about some of the self care ideas, and I wanted to mention, going back to the baby thing, when women have babies, there are so many people that give them spas, massages, all these different types of things for that self care.

Christie Freeze [00:19:11]:
That's it.

Darleen Mahoney [00:19:12]:
A caregiver is no difference. Like I said in the very beginning, it is the hardest job you'll ever do with zero pay.

Christie Freeze [00:19:19]:
Yeah.

Darleen Mahoney [00:19:19]:
So those little moments of self care are so super important, whether it's like taking a long bath, going to the spa, you know, anything like that. Honestly, just having a candle while you're like cooking, to me that is a nice moment.

Christie Freeze [00:19:34]:
Yes. And I think that I hear it a lot where people are like, I just don't know what to do for that person. I don't know how to help them. I don't know how to best support them in their caregiving journey. And I normally respond with, what would you do if a mother was pregnant and about to bring a baby into the world, what would you do for her? You would get her a spa certificate, or you would take her to get her nails done, or you would take her, you know, you would do some of those things that you just mentioned. It's the same thing. Yeah, and the same. It's the same energy on both ends that really make an impact.

Christie Freeze [00:20:10]:
I just think that when people, you know, are thinking of things like this, using that analogy will probably be really helpful.

Darleen Mahoney [00:20:17]:
I love that I'm getting so much out of that part of it because I don't think about that. And also, with caregivers, a lot of times, there's a lot of strife within family and things like that because there are a lot of differentiations on what to do and what care to take. So I do think it is important. That's an added level of stress that goes with that caregiving. So it is important that massage, you got to release, you know, relax. You've got to just decompress a little bit.

Christie Freeze [00:20:41]:
Sure. And on that point, really quick. So that's something. I do, obviously, have the roadmap, but I still do sessions with families, and that's kind of what the goal was with launching this consulting. And it's been so fascinating to see all different family members get on a Zoom call. They're in different cities or states or different parts of the world. And what I have found, this is just my personal observation, is that when five, six, seven family members are all on a call together, hearing the same information, getting the same foundation at the same time, they work so much better together as a team because they had maybe preconceived notions of who's doing what, who's not doing what, who's not doing enough, who's doing too much, and often, and also who's.

Darleen Mahoney [00:21:30]:
And also who's texting who, what. I mean, I think that becomes an issue as you start having text conversations.

Christie Freeze [00:21:36]:
Instead of real conversations instead of real conversations. And so to me, it was just like, aha. Let's just get everybody on Zoom. I record that Zoom call, I send them that recording, and a full recap. And when people get off of that session, they feel like they know which seat they're in on the bus, where they can be the most helpful and make the greatest impact. And families typically work better together in that situation. I think that typically, it's falling on, like, an adult daughter to lead the charge. And I personally believe there should be a third party, non emotionally charged person to kind of, you know, moderate that conversation.

Christie Freeze [00:22:20]:
That can just give you base foundation. Now go make good choices for yourself and your loved one, because you have the foundation to do so.

Darleen Mahoney [00:22:28]:
That's fabulous. I didn't even know that existed. So that could be a whole different podcast, which may be a potential in the future. So what are some things, you know, one of the things that you talk about in your book is spotting the signs about additional care, if that's needed. So we do, you know, as caregivers, you try to do everything, but when you're in it, you may be missing certain things where if someone was on the outside looking in, it would be a different story.

Christie Freeze [00:22:56]:
Yeah. So in this roadmap, I have six signs that if you kind of see these or notice these, additional support might be needed or might be worth considering. And so we'll just talk about those real quick. Isolation is number one. I think that when folks are retreating to their home more than usual, declining invites to do outings or avoiding phone calls or, you know, if that's out of their character, probably kind of a yellow flag. Let's start to maybe unpack that a little bit. The second one is something we've already kind of talked about, but it's balance and unsteadiness and just talking about that's the number one reason for falls and the domino effect that comes from that actually have in this roadmap, connect with home safety coach to learn tricks and tips. And then number three is something we also talked about, and that's missed or mismanaged medications.

Christie Freeze [00:23:50]:
So, you know, you probably started to see that your dad was putting posty notes out, and you were probably like, huh, this is something that we might need to shift a little bit and exactly do something a little different. Unopened mail or unpaid bills. I think that you can, you know, again, if that's outside of someone's character, should just have a huge stack of mail that they've not opened or they don't really know how to navigate anymore. Probably a good sign of, hey, hey, let's. Let's look into that a little bit. And then the last two are dings and dents in a vehicle. I remember my grandpa. My grandpa was not supposed to drive.

Christie Freeze [00:24:28]:
And he would wait until my mom and stepdad went to work, and he would take his little car, and we lived in a teeny, tiny town, but he would just take his car down the road. He just wanted to go see his buddies, and he'd come back and, like, the whole rear view mirror would be off, and my mom would be like, dad, what happened? And he'd be like, oh, it's been like that. No, it hasn't.

Darleen Mahoney [00:24:49]:
Oh, my goodness.

Christie Freeze [00:24:50]:
That's, like, a good sign of, like, yeah, let's maybe look into that. And then the last thing here is just weight loss and expired food. Both should just raise a little bit of concern as, you know, what's going on. Are they eating properly? Is this weight loss or weight gain something I should be, you know, concerned about? And so those are just some of the signs. Again, this is not, like an end all, be all, but these are just some things to kind of give you things to consider and then some ideas on what to do if that is going on.

Darleen Mahoney [00:25:22]:
Yeah, you're right about the food thing. I do remember, like, checking my dad's refrigerator and things like that. He started buying tons of stuff, so he went the exact opposite. I don't know that he was eating it because he didn't really cook. My mom passed away, and she was the one that cooked. And, you know, honestly, when I was growing up, if we had just my dad there to feed us, we would have pancakes for breakfast. So. Which is not bad, but you don't.

Christie Freeze [00:25:45]:
You can't live by that every day.

Darleen Mahoney [00:25:47]:
Yeah. Yeah. So I know that that was not his forte. I mean, he would always grill, but he's not gonna go outside and grill a bunch of food just for himself.

Christie Freeze [00:25:55]:
Right.

Darleen Mahoney [00:25:55]:
So that was something that was a concern that I was seeing, that he was, like, getting a ton of food and then what was expiring, because he would forget what he bought. So he would, you know, I have three sour creams. I have, you know, different things that you just don't need. Doubles for sure. So that's a definite one as well. So I do like that aspect of it. And then, you know, the weight gain, weight loss, I hadn't even really thought about that. But that's something that is clearly evident, and that's a.

Darleen Mahoney [00:26:18]:
That's a problem.

Christie Freeze [00:26:20]:
Yeah, for sure. And again, these are things that I'm, like, envisioning somebody that visits their parent, maybe routinely, or sees them in their kind of natural flow and notices these things being able to say, oh, those are maybe, like, triggers for me to look into a little bit further. So, yeah, I hope that that's helpful.

Darleen Mahoney [00:26:42]:
Yeah, no, it definitely is. And I do think it is really good to just keep some of those fine points that you just mentioned in mind as you're going through that journey, because I will say the other thing on the mail thing, if you see it even if they're open, I feel like it's piled up because they're having a hard time navigating their finances, or they go out and I will tell you, they buy things they cannot afford, like, very expensive cars, and you're just going, why do you need this gigantic, you know, supercharged truck, dad? You're not going. I mean, you're just toodling around town. So it was just, you know, it's just a strange thing as well. And then kind of seeing, you know, some of the bills that he incurred from that, as well as bills that were completely illegitimate. So there was some scamming that was going on. So going through the stocks and looking what's there is important, too, because there may be stuff coming in, you don't know what they're.

Christie Freeze [00:27:37]:
And they might not. Right. Taking that cognitive aspect into consideration of, you know, and just this feels like a good time to make this point, too, is that when these types of things happen, aging, health decline, cognitive decline, all of the above, it's super important that we, as family members, caregivers, etcetera, really try to empathize and think about what it would be like to be in that person's shoes, because I think that so often guilty adult daughters specifically, we tend to get, like, why would you do that? Or why is that happening? And it's. I think it's just really important for us to be mindful of, hey, is there something going on? And if they're not at a place cognitively or physically, that they can say, like, yeah, I've started to notice some things are declining. Just be mindful and be empathetic of how we're approaching those things. I've really found in having those big family sessions that people just have different ways of approaching this topic and don't really think about how it's going to affect the end result. And so meeting them where they are, if, you know, I think about dementia and Alzheimer's, and if somebody thinks that they're going home, let's use a little bit of therapeutic fibbing. We don't need to lie, but we do need to say, like, okay, well, we'll do that after we do this.

Christie Freeze [00:29:05]:
And just redirect instead of saying, like, your home is sold and everyone that you care about is already gone. Like, they're different, right. They feel different and they make a huge impact. So I just thought that was important to share. Just really being mindful of how we're navigating these waters.

Darleen Mahoney [00:29:23]:
Absolutely. And, you know, the reality is, is we're all going to be there one day.

Christie Freeze [00:29:26]:
Oh, yes. And how it's not if, it's when.

Darleen Mahoney [00:29:30]:
Yeah, yeah. And how. How are we gonna want people to treat us? Because in the reality is, I mean, we're all getting older, you know, there's no cure for Alzheimer's dementia. It's something that I think that a lot of us are gonna have to contend with. So how you take care of someone may reflect how you get taken care of as well, so.

Christie Freeze [00:29:46]:
That's exactly right. Yeah. And just in general, let's just like, take good care of each other. That seems easy enough to me.

Darleen Mahoney [00:29:52]:
Right. But understanding how you communicate with that person, I think is a huge deal on the dementia Alzheimer's side, because it's for sure.

Christie Freeze [00:29:59]:
And there's so many great resources for that, too. You know, I'm sure people are familiar with dementia, darling. And I have a good friend that started a business called the memory compass. She's a dementia family coach. Those types of services didn't exist a couple years ago, and so using, you know, whatever stage of your journey you're on, to just educate yourself on some of those is going to be super impactful when the time comes. Not if the time comes.

Darleen Mahoney [00:30:27]:
Exactly. Exactly. Well, did you have anything else you wanted to share with us before we sign off?

Christie Freeze [00:30:32]:
I don't think so. I just really appreciate this time and this opportunity to share a little bit. I think that, you know, resources like this show are going to be what set people up for greater success in their journey. So I really appreciate you for hosting and launching this. And, yeah, I just. I'm always available to answer questions, help people get connected to the right resources that they need. So I'm sure that contact information will be down below, but feel free to reach out.

Darleen Mahoney [00:31:00]:
Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much. And that is the point of this podcast. It really is meant to be a great resource for seniors and their families. So I did want to tell you before we left, or tell our listeners, I should say that it is roadmap for elder care by Christy with a c h r I s t I e. Freeze. Like, oh, it's cold.

Christie Freeze [00:31:21]:
Cold, yeah. And if you just go to Amazon, you can just type in roadmap for eldercare, it'll pop up.

Darleen Mahoney [00:31:26]:
Yeah, absolutely. And we'll include the link to it as well within the content of the podcast.

Christie Freeze [00:31:31]:
Cool.

Darleen Mahoney [00:31:32]:
Yeah. Thank you so much for joining us today, Christy.

Christie Freeze [00:31:33]:
You're welcome. Thank you for having me.

Darleen Mahoney [00:31:35]:
Absolutely. And if you enjoyed this podcast, please feel free to share it with someone that you think will benefit from the resources that we provide. We are available on Spotify, Apple