Episode #179 - Don't let your Ego keep you on an Island -REBOOT#128

Episode Notes: 

Feel like you’re stranded on an island in your business or personal life? 🏝️ Break free from the isolation and tap into the power of collaboration. Discover how to let go of control and embrace the value of teamwork.

Is your ego holding you back from growth? 🌱 Don't let pride prevent you from seeking advice and support from others. Learn how to accept constructive input and overcome the limitations of a solitary mindset.

Are you afraid to let others help you? 🤝 It's time to unleash the power of reciprocity! Discover the incredible value of going above and beyond for others without expecting anything in return. Unlock the potential of giving and receiving.

Stop living on an island! 🌴 Embrace the transformative force of a mastermind group. Join forces with like-minded individuals to share experiences, gain insights, and accelerate your personal and professional growth.

Don't let your ego drive the bus! 🚌 Tap into the collective intelligence of others and learn from their expertise. Break free from the limitations of a solitary mindset and open yourself up to new possibilities.

Join us this week, as we reshare an earlier episode that shows us how to stop letting our egos get in the way and harness the powers of reciprocity and the combined wisdom of masterminds, to open ourselves to the power of mutual collaboration, end our self-made isolations and get us off the island of “I’ll just do this on my own”! 

Chapters

• 0:00 The MindWrench Podcast
• 9:18 The Power of Coaching and Reciprocity

Transcript

Rick: 0:00

I know when I release an episode, my goal is I'm probably helping someone understand something they may not have before or shed a new light on an issue that they may have struggled with. In fact, I've had many emails, texts or phone calls letting me know how a certain episode might have helped them, which I'd love to hear. But I also know some messages may strike a nerve or hit a sore spot. I never hear any feedback on some messages, but I understand. For most it's really hard to admit our own faults. I get it. A little over a year ago I shared this episode knowing it may hit a few sore spots, but I felt it was a great message nonetheless.

Rick: 0:41

Welcome to the MindWrench Podcast with your host, rick Sellover, where minor adjustments produce major improvements in mindset, personal growth and success. This is the place to be every Monday, where we make small improvements and take positive actions in our business and personal lives that will make a major impact in our success, next-level growth and quality of life.

Rick: 1:10

Hey, what's up everybody? Welcome to the MindWrench Podcast. I'm your host, rick Silover. Thanks so much for stopping in. If you're a returning listener and haven't done so already, please take a minute and click the follow or subscribe button and then rate and review the show. When you rate and review the show, the algorithms for Apple, spotify, google Podcasts, iheartradio, amazon Music and all the other platforms will see that it's valuable and show it to more people that have never seen it before, and hopefully it can help them too. I would really, really really appreciate your help, sharing this word with your friends and family as well, and if you're a brand new listener, welcome. I hope you find something of value here that helps you in your personal or professional life as well. Please make sure to click the subscribe or follow button so you never miss another episode.

Rick: 1:55

You know for the past almost I don't know four years I've been writing, producing and distributing this podcast, providing my own personal views, opinions and advice on the collision repair business, self-improvement and mindset, and, for the most part, based on my last 30 plus years of experience as a PBE jobber dealing with hundreds, if not thousands, of shop owners, managers and leaders. Being a good listener provided me the skill set needed to acquire not only valuable information on how shops did business in their own unique way, but incredible insight into their different personality traits and ways of thinking and how those traits and thoughts affected their business, some positively, some in a much more negative way. I know when I release an episode, my goal is I'm probably helping someone understand something they may not have before or shed a new light on an issue that they may have struggled with. In fact, I've had many emails, texts or phone calls letting me know how a certain episode might have helped them, which I'd love to hear. But I also know some messages may strike a nerve or hit a sore spot. I never hear any feedback on some messages, but I understand For most. It's really hard to admit our own faults. I get it. A little over a year ago, I shared this episode Don't Let your Ego Keep you On An Island, knowing it may hit a few sore spots, but I felt it was a great message nonetheless, and it covered many things, including not just how our egos can keep us from allowing others to help us, but I also touched on the power of reciprocity and the amazing value of being part of a mastermind. So if you haven't heard this one yet, open your mind and check it out. If you have heard it before and it kind of reminded you of you, but you still haven't made any changes, please give it another listen. So let's go back to May of 2023 and episode 128.

Rick: 3:52

Do you live your life or operate your business like you're alone on an island. You know, do everything yourself, rely on no one, help no one, just waiting for the next storm to hit your island? Hey, is that your SS minnow stranded there on the beach? There's a very common thread I've found in the auto repair industry. That probably is true for many other sectors of service as well, but there are a lot of owners that like to work alone. They prefer to handle things themselves if at all possible, regardless of how much time or effort it may take, usually forsaking something else they were going to do instead.

Rick: 4:26

Don't worry, I got. This is their daily mantra. In fact, the higher the stakes or the bigger the risk-reward factor, the quicker you'll hear. I'll take care of this one. Or maybe it'll be quicker if I just do it myself. Or even the ultimate. This is my business, it's my name on the building. I just can't take a chance on someone else screwing this one up. I'll handle it Right. Does this sound familiar to you? Maybe you've heard these exact or similar phrases where you work. Maybe they even come right out of your mouth, huh Well, it's not really a reflection on the ability or skills of others on your team or whom you may work with, nor is it a lack of confidence in others to get the job done right. It's just kind of more of an internal me thing.

Rick: 5:09

Commonly, most of these prideful owners or leaders don't look for input from others or they push back hard on any other suggestions or ideas. Most times they're willing to spend long segments of time researching how to do things on their own and will quickly justify how they're right on this stance. It's important to remember no man is an island. No shop is an island either. Many in this business don't always feel comfortable working in a group setting. They feel compromised when not in full control of what's happening around them. The lack of control can be very limiting to what can actually be accomplished.

Rick: 5:42

Many times we let our own ego prevent us from seeking or accepting advice, the wisdom from someone else, encouraging direction or help from any others that may have a better or different perspective. I should know that was me and sometimes it still is me, but I'm working on it. I did that for years, all the way back to when I first started painting and hired helpers. There was much I wouldn't let them do, simply because I felt the need for control. If there was a screw-up, it was going to be on me. Dammit, it wasn't because I didn't teach them how to correctly prep panels or tape or cut in parts. No, it was just my selfish pride, my ego, that prevented me from trusting my well-trained helpers to paint a small job for themselves or rub and nub a detailed and important job. It wasn't until I couldn't make it to work one day and there were a couple jobs that needed to be painted. So the owner had one of my most senior helpers paint that day and, as you can guess it, everything came out good. He did a fantastic job. Boy was I pissed, but I got past my bruised ego and was actually kind of proud of how he stepped up and performed.

Rick: 6:42

It took a while for it to sink in, but the reality was I now had someone that could fill in and allow me the ability to take time off when needed, or just needed a break from the poorly ventilated booth. Even though I learned something then, I was still too unaware to realize it was just my ego. I did the same thing later in my career as a sales manager, seldom letting my team tackle some of the tasks that they were fully capable of or allowing them to try and fail, instead just bulldozing forward, slinging the old. I'll handle this one line way too often, usually putting myself through some unnecessary stress and overload. It wasn't until not too many years ago I finally learned to let go of the reins a little bit and allowed others underneath my watch to flourish and grow in their careers. When I first started this podcast a few years ago, I did an episode on ego. Go listen to episode number nine Let Go of your Ego, if you want a deeper dive into how this affects the collision industry.

Rick: 7:36

Understanding what ego really is, why we sometimes let it run our lives, how it affects others around us and how much it actually limits our growth or potential, are important for us to realize, to put in check when needed and learn how to accept constructive input from those we interact with. By definition, an ego is a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance. To have an ego is essential to our very makeup. It'll define who we are and how we connect with others. There are many definitions of ego, but, to put it simply, it's your sense of personal identity or feelings of self-importance. It helps you to identify your uniqueness and to stand up for yourself and to put the plans into action. Ego becomes an issue when it becomes overpowering. Ego tells the world how important I think I am. Ego tells the world I don't need anyone else, I am enough. Ego tells the world how much I make or what I own or who I know is what I am. It's important to note that ego is not always truthful with us and it can get in the way of our best efforts.

Rick: 8:37

Sometimes Is ego the same as pride? Now, there's a subtle difference between ego and pride, even though these two are often used interchangeably. Ego is a type of self-admiration where a person thinks about himself all the time. Pride, on the other hand, can be equivalent to self-respect or self-satisfaction. The ego is something that will protect and defend itself from unpleasant feelings For those with an excessive ego. They will take any subtle disagreement and turn it into an argument. They perceive any resistance to their thoughts or actions as a tax. Being defensive on a continuous basis can cause damaged relationships, career and personal growth and make them more critical of themselves and others. It's simply a bad personality trait to have. If you're looking for a competitive edge for your business or a more effective jumpstart to your personal development in 2024, I'll make your first step super simple.

Rick: 9:27

It is a fact that an incredible number of the most successful business owners, nearly half of the Fortune 500 companies, top-earning professional athletes, entertainers and industry leaders like Microsoft's Bill Gates, former President Bill Clinton, richard Branson, amazon's Jeff Bezos and Salesforce's Mark Benioff all have one thing in common they all have at least one coach and some have several that they work with on a consistent basis, someone that helps, guide, mentor and support them, challenge them, help them set and achieve goals that move them forward and then hold them accountable to follow through driving personal and professional growth. Working with a coach has many substantial benefits. Just for an example, 80% of coaching clients report improved self-esteem or self-confidence thanks to coaching, 99% of individuals and companies that hire a coach report being very satisfied and 96% would do it again. If, deep down, you know it's time to make those improvements in your business, your personal life, that you've kicked down the road year after year. If you're tired of knowing there's a better version of you waiting to shine, but unsure of how to bring that version to light. If you're tired of wanting to enjoy a more successful business but not sure how to start. And if you don't want to go another 12 months without better results, but you don't want to go it alone, then take the first step. It's super simple. Sometimes talking to the right person can make all the difference. Go to wwwrixelovercom contact and I'll set you up with a free consultation. Call with me to see if one-on-one coaching is right for you. Always make the attempt to actively listen, while accepting resistance and constructive criticism.

Rick: 11:04

People who resist a thought or idea are often not doing so out of contempt, so don't take it personally. Sometimes people will want to help you just because it makes them feel useful. Sometimes others have knowledge they just want to share with no strings attached, because they feel it's a waste not to share it. Part of growing personally and professionally and not being stuck on an island is not being afraid to help out someone else another shop, maybe a former tech who has a question or needs a favor, or maybe it's a neighboring business that could use your help or advice, but there's no possible gain for you by helping them. There's a little life hack that has tremendous value, but so few people get what it is. It's something so simple and available to every human being. It's what everyone should do in life, especially in business, but yet most people don't and most businesses don't or won't Help others before they ask.

Rick: 11:56

Do more for others than they would expect. Do more for your customers, your employees or your stakeholders than they expect your customers, your employees or your stakeholders than they expect. Always be adding more value, Always be over-delivering. It's called reciprocity. It's an age-old concept that really means when you do more for someone, add more value than someone paid for or expected, you go above and beyond in the amount of service you deliver, the things your competition doesn't do or, more importantly, won't do, that those good deeds will be repaid by others around us. The reciprocity principle is one of the basic laws of social psychology. It says that in many social situations, we pay back what we receive from others. It's the social norm of responding to one positive action with another positive action. Quite simply by reciprocating, we ensure that other people receive help when they need it and that we receive assistance when we need it as well. If you want more detail on this amazing phenomenon, check out my episode number 23, how to Add More Reciprocity into your Business and your Life.

Rick: 12:56

Reciprocity allows people to get things done that they would not be able to do on their own. I'm sure you've all heard the phrase of a barn raising, right. That's where, back in the old days, a new settler in a farming community would acquire a piece of land and the first thing his family would need to do is put up a barn and all the community would gather to help him and his family lift up the trusses and walls to his new barn Literally, barn raising. Now the community would do this without being asked, because at one point the same community had helped them raise their barn without question, and they are now reciprocating that favor. It's a powerful human force, so powerful it can result in exchanges of completely unequal values. It's almost a hardwired human trait that we will always feel obligated to repay any favors, gifts or invitations. As you see, the list is only limited by your imagination. But there is one caveat to this concept that you have to add value. With this in mind, this only works if you add value, give a gift or do the extra without expecting anything in return, and you have to trust this process. It's really the only way it works. I mean, you wouldn't do a favor for someone and then just stand there waiting for them to return a favor. Right. There is another well-documented, time-tested way to keep yourself and your shop off the island. You do remember the island we started this episode with, right. You know the one you've kept yourself or your shop on for like forever, right? Just for the record, my goal here is to help you off the island, okay? So just stay with me on this.

Rick: 14:23

The majority of repair shops and business owners in general rarely wander out of their shops, their businesses or some even their everyday lives to see and learn what others may be doing better or different or more efficient in their shops and personal lives. How others move the needle, what you can do to move the needle in your business. There has been, and will continue to be, countless changes going on in this industry. Keeping your head in the sand will not make them go away, nor will it prevent the wheel of progress from turning, and not getting engaged will only lead to the eventual demise of your business, which really would be a shame, because you've hung on this long, already weathered a few storms, made changes in how to repair cars, equipment, technology, tools and materials. This is where you really need to stop your ego from trying to take the wheel and drive the bus and learn from some others around you.

Rick: 15:13

Becoming part of a mastermind group is one of the most beneficial things that you can do, not only as a business owner, but even on a personal level. Okay, so what exactly is a mastermind? Well, check out episode number 101, the Power of Mastermind, for a more comprehensive look at this concept. But basically, the combined power of shop owners in the same room or space and it can be virtual, like Zoom sharing difficulties, concerns problem areas of their business or life that they are not happy with or need improvement in, and learning from each other or how to overcome, improve or pivot without fear of exposure, fear of embarrassment, fear of criticism or dismissal. The amount of support from those that have strengths in key areas and share them for the benefit of those offsetting weaknesses and vice versa, is incredibly powerful.

Rick: 16:00

The old concept of two heads are better than one is more than just a saying. But probably the most well-known historic version of this was in 1937, napoleon Hill coined the concept and explained it in his book Think and Grow Rich. Napoleon described the mastermind this way the coordination of knowledge and effort between two or more people who work towards a definite purpose in a spirit of harmony. No two minds ever come together without creating a third, invisible, intangible force which may be likened to a third mind. You know some of the most successful, wealthy and fulfilled leaders in sports, entertainment, business and personal growth have made an ongoing commitment to at least one mastermind group, many of them belonging to several. You're only limited by your appetite to learn and grow.

Rick: 16:50

There is no one way to mastermind with others, no set rules or regulations. It can be organized into any frequency or style of meeting live or in-person settings, size of group or financial obligations. You can join someone else's or start your own. Costs can be anywhere from free to hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Some high-earning professionals pay $250,000 to a million dollars a year to be part of a mastermind, but the old adage of you get what you pay for really applies to this as it would anything else. So don't be afraid to invest in yourself on this Almost without fail, regardless of what it costs you. You will pick up an idea, a tip, a tactic or a solution through your mastermind that'll bring in many times more in income, sales or cost savings than you invested originally.

Rick: 17:32

We can all benefit from the guidance and expert from others in our everyday lives. We hire personal trainers for exercise, we pay CPAs to do our taxes. Or we have investment advisors for our financial growth, marriage counselors for relationships, therapy for ourselves in certain areas. And if you look at sports, every single sport has coaches, some for every aspect of the game you know, like strength or defense or offense. Working with a coach or consultant can add great value and shorten the curve for improvements in any area of your business or your life.

Rick: 18:03

So, look, the bottom line is this Running your business is difficult. Running your life is difficult too. The only thing that makes it even more difficult or challenging is letting your ego keep you on that island of I don't need help from others, or I can do this myself, or nobody can do this better than me. There are so many ways to leverage the wisdom of others around you through these amazing processes of reciprocity or becoming part of a mastermind, that it almost seems silly not to take advantage of this abundant natural resource. Right, listen, islands are great to visit, but no one wants to live on one. Just ask Gilligan, professor, or the Skipper.

Rick: 18:43

Well, I hope you got some value out of that message. You know, sometimes in life we seem to get in our own way more than anybody else does as far as moving forward or making progress in our business and in our personal lives, until somebody can point it out and remind us that we do have choices. If you'd like a little deeper dive into a couple of these subjects for more on ego, check out episode number nine. For more on reciprocity, check out number 23. And for more on masterminds, check out episode number 101. Well, that's all I had for you today. Thanks again for tuning in. I really appreciate your support and I hope you have a great week. I can always be reached at wwwrickselovercom, where you can find all my social media links, podcast episodes, blog posts and much more.