Anxiety-Proof Her Interview with Heather Nieves

Heather Nieves is a Women's Empowerment Coach & Founder of I Love Me Yoga teaching women to love themselves & step into their souls calling through movement, Meditation and mirrorwork.

You can learn more and follow her at 

HeatherNieves.com or  Instagram.com/iamheathernieves

Thank you so much for tuning in! If you are dealing with panic and looking for a process that will allow you to break free from this crippling fear state I want to invite you to check out Jennifer's Panic Attack Survival Guide. Grab a FREE copy HERE. https://jenniferbronsnick.activehosted.com/f/1

Transcript

Unknown: 0:02

Welcome to the anxiety proof her Podcast, where amazing women come for education, inspiration and hope around healing from anxiety. Each month, you're going to hear from other women who took control of their mental health by using outside the box holistic strategies to cope with their anxiety and to ultimately thrive. You will also learn from experts in the health and wellness industry, about the tools they use every day to help their patients reclaim their well being. We hope this information allows you to see that there are many different paths to healing. I'm your host, Jennifer Bronsnick. And I'm a licensed clinical social worker, and anxiety treatment professional. I help women and teen girls who struggle with anxiety, self doubt, and perfectionism to tap into their innate resilience, get to the root of their fears, and implement custom healing strategies so that they can experience peace of mind, more self confidence and be liberated from the suffering that living with anxiety causes. I have lived with anxiety my whole life, and know how hard it can be. I also know that there is hope. And it's 100% treatable with the right information and support. Thank you so much for showing up for yourself and taking the first step to reclaiming your well being and resilience. I am so excited for this conversation today. Because we've been chatting for the last five minutes off record. Because tech is crazy these days, right? Like it is sometimes so stressful to get everything together. But then once it happens, like there's like this magic and so I hope my intention for this time together is that anybody listening will receive a little bit of magic and maybe even if you're having tech issues, maybe this will help to push those issues that you know to the past. So I want to introduce Heather, can you say your last name for me? Is it neven Nieves Nieves Thank you, thank you, is a women's empowerment coach and founder of I love me yoga, and she teaches women to love themselves and step into their soul's calling through movement, meditation and mirror work. And I've been following Heather, for a couple months now. And what she does is just so inspiring, she always shows up as her full, authentic self. And I think that is healing for many people. So thank you, thank you for showing up. Thank you for being here, today. Thank you, I'm so honored, I appreciate your kind words, I think what's so beautiful is you can create a really beautiful newsfeed when you show up online. But it's just creating that with who you choose to follow and unfollow. And so I'm great, grateful that we came into each other's lives, you know, we were connected through Lisa Presley. And I, especially when I see someone that's doing important work like yours, you know, helping others with, you know, with their anxiety, I am just so grateful that I get to share my life and my work with everyone listening. So thank you so much for having me. So, this is a podcast about anxiety. So I was telling you earlier, that the mission really for this show is to spread one the message of hope that there is life after dealing with mental health issues like there is hope. There is joy, excitement, amazing life stories to be led. And that it doesn't always come through this traditional route of the medication, the psychotherapy, you know, if you're struggling like this is like the only path to it. So, tell Did you have a experience and experience with that traditional past of mental health treatment? Mm hmm. Yeah. And I haven't thought about these things in some time. You know, there's certain people that you share your story, but it's a story from a certain point of time. But I grew up my parents divorced. And so I didn't go to traditional therapy in elementary school, but I had a very close relationship with a school counselor. I remember crying all the time. I'm getting pulled out of the line, which the teacher wants to give her give you her heart or his but it's embarrassing, especially if it's 16 as you get older, you don't want the light on you, especially when you're crying. But I remember growing up crying, and I cried when I lost softball games. And so there was definitely this really this heaviness with loss. And so as a teenager, my, my parents divorced because my mother was in recovery and my father wasn't and he has since passed. So I have they have a history of alcoholism and addiction. And I choose to drink consciously as an adult, you know, a glass here and there but I feel is I have a connection to that. So there's such a conscious relationship when I do choose because I understand it. It shifts my emotional well being as well. So I'm very conscious of that chemical reaction relationship. But yes, I did. I remember being on Wellbutrin, Wellbutrin, I remember being on Zoloft. I remember, like there was one other, but that was my teenage years. So yes, therapists, um, school counselors. And when I moved out at 17, I actually sought out a psychiatrist and in home therapist when I was going through some things as a young adult, and I also sought out medication, but I remember as a teenager, wanting to come off of it, but I came off of all of my antidepressants and birth control at the same time, actually, this wasn't in the beginning years of my husband and I relationship, we've been together for 15 years. So we met when I was 19. And that was not something I would recommend anyone do ever unsupervised. I was extremely emotional, and it was a roller coaster. But I didn't know about whole less holistic modalities. In the 90s and 2000s. I didn't, it wasn't something that was the norm. So I did not the norm. Yes, I did go down that route. But especially as a mother, I have a five year old, I still struggle with anxiety. It's I have a toolbox, and we can talk about that. But that's personally now at the age of 35. And just for the past, I have not gone the traditional medicine route. I can't even remember the last time I took Tylenol, I have not taken as far as my mental health, the traditional route. Maybe and 12 years or so. So tell me more. So that time thank you for saying yes, please do not stop taking any medications that you are currently on without working with a doctor because that can be very dangerous without, you know, having the right process and support for your mental and physical health during that time. But once let's, you know, you stop them. But then what did you do? It wasn't just like, Oh, I hope that I'm good now. I didn't know very much then I I did not return to them. Um, however, just my way of being just the past five years. I chose religion for a period of time. And I still had a ton of anxiety. But I think that gave me some hope and direction in life. There was definitely inks to living up to the commandments of God. And that was my experience at the time. But yeah, meditation and yoga and oils. And this. It was introduced to me when we moved when move cross country from Connecticut to California. And I had never even considered this way of being until I became a mom and started meeting other conscious parents that were raising their children holistically. And then when we moved across the country, it was just who I surrounded myself with. It's a more open. It's a more holistic, and community. I don't want to say that they're more open minded, but in a sense, it's more of the norm, like outside the box. But in South Carolina, we live here now, for the past almost year and a half. I'm finding a holistic community also. But yeah, I think for me, meditation and yoga came into my life when I wanted to heal my relationship with food in my body. And so there's anxiety attached to those parts of us as well. So it's just so interesting that you ask me these questions, and I reflect on how did I cope then crying a lot. I'm turning to food. I really had been affected. Six and a size 18. and everything in between. So I turned to food for sure. Because addiction shows up in other areas of our life, even if we don't choose drugs or alcohol, for sure. And yeah, it has been the greatest gift to explore just being with myself, because we live in a world where we're taught to avoid ourselves, to medicate ourselves. To always do I have a client that said, Oh, my gosh, I feel like I'm on a marathon, like, my life is a marathon and I'm exhausted. I just want a day in my pajamas. And so she's simply just needed someone to give her permission, which we just give ourselves permission, but just someone else to say, it's okay to do that. And oftentimes, we never even consider like, oh, like, I can cancel all my plans and do nothing. And not feel guilty about it. Right? Yeah, no, that is huge. That pressure that we are all under. And also, you know, to your point, we feel comfortable in a state of fight or flight. It feels very strange for many people to relax and to be and there's this almost like we get anxious when we're not running on the hamster wheel. When? I don't know, yeah, he teaches the science, of signs of breaking the habits or science of the mind. I watched something by Joe dispenza, where he literally breaks down our bodies like neurological and muscle memory, we remember the reaction. So we are addicted to it. And we cause our own suffering. And so when I when I learned that, and I said that I'm like, why would I cause myself suffering, but it's because it's familiar. And so the body holds on to remembering the response. But the beautiful part of that on the other end of the spectrum is that we can recondition our response and our way of being and there's a habit, right, there's a habit. So it's like, we're, I recognize that I so some people say oh, you're you're addicted to drama, or we're addicted to the anxiety, we're addicted to freak outs, right. And now that you have done a Human Design reading for me, and I've, you know, gone down that rabbit hole, I found out that frustration, which is anxiety. overwhelm is like my when I'm not true to my soul to myself to listening to my gut and my intuition. I'm in that state, because it's my natural. So it's so fascinating to know that that's like my blueprint. Yeah. So let's go back a little bit because I want to hear, like, Where was that? Was it an invitation? Did you respond to something like how did you say, Okay, I'm gonna try this meditation. Because for someone that's never thought about meditation, or never considered how yoga could help their mental health, like maybe they just thought like, Oh, it's a fitness class or something like that was, you know, my perception for many, many years. So I always like to hear like, what was that door opener? Like, for me, it was the book The Four Agreements. So having something like these four ideas that came in like, oh, wow, things aren't personal. It sort of opened the door, did you have one of those things that like allowed you to just crack that door open to being just to consider a holistic strategy. So my introduction to meditation was intense. I did not start with an app. I did not start with gentle three to five minutes, I was a fitness coach with a certain company, and had a really unhealthy relationship with food. And I was at my fittest and skinniest and I was miserable. And I had moved to California. And so I was dealing with some lots of anxiety and depression. I just had become a stay at home mom, our son turned to Europe, a year old. And then we moved from Connecticut to California. And I think when you're in that anxiety, you're just constantly searching and searching and searching. And sometimes there are no answers, but you're just, I I, for me personally, in my nature is that I'm just looking. And a lot of times none of them are the solutions for me. But what that did lead me to was reconnecting with a woman who also had moved from Connecticut to California. And I said, let's have a chat. I'm curious. How are you? And she was doing this healing. work to, I don't even know, she wasn't like an energetic healer. So I said, I need to hire you. I just found out like what her work was. And so I did my first meditation with her because I said, I can't, I'm having a hard time growing my business, I am having so much shame with these binges. When I get off this diet, I can't see in my body, and I'm looking the best that I ever had. So I had this surface level of confidence. And so we, she took me into this really deep meditation, and almost fell off the bed. Because I think I resisted the experience. And what it did was, I got to such a relaxed state where we started to just explore my thoughts, and what were my triggers to find out what triggered me to eat. And so my husband leaving for work connected to my father leaving. So it was way better than therapy, wow, meditation, I want me to close my eyes and navigate thoughts in a whole new way. And so my golden at the time, she said, I really needed to start meditating in between our sessions, because your your body and soul are, are resisting and separating. And they're not connected in the experience. So I use the comm app. And I started with five minutes a day. And so my son would nap at the time, he was only over a year old. And so I was in deep right from the get go, I had never done meditation, I was only doing yoga on my rest day of my workout plan. And while I no longer am in that work, it was a time for me to, to heal my relationship with food. And then yoga came in, which is how I started to heal my relationship with my, with my body because it was just offering me that peace and tranquility. That's, you know, the very cliche parts, but I had to give myself permission to do something that made me feel good that I didn't burn calories doing and know that it was okay because it offered me something that the other stuff didn't. So that was like really powerful that I gave myself permission to do something against kind of like what I was taught like, well, this, that's why a lot of people resist yoga. This is it. It's not i'm not burning calories. I know you can because they're hot yoga. But that's, that's not the goal of yoga. Yeah. I love that. I love that message that. And this is really from Glenn and Doyle and untamed. It's like, you don't have to make yourself smaller, like where did we learn as women that you have to shrink away be as small as you possibly can don't take up space in the world, you know, and that that is reinforced in so many different ways. Like you lose weight, and people like oh my gosh, like you look amazing. And then you get all this attention. And then it like, is this vicious cycle where which is why I resonate so much with your message of body positivity and loving yourself and enjoying yourself and that it's not always about this, like restricting your, you know, your foods. And you know that and I've done that I had a very serious eating disorder in college and weighed like 110 pounds, like, I was so unhealthy and so small and in so much pain, like I wasn't happy, even though I was gorgeous. You know, the joy didn't come with it. And you know, so please know that every time you show up, and you do something on social, that it's inspiring. And it just, it's changing the narrative, which is, I think so important in the world right now that women love yourself, like whoever you are right now, you know, and I have three daughters. So I would, I hope that that message, at least comes from me like I don't talk about I never would say like, Oh my gosh, I look so fat. And these pants, like I have never said those words in front of my daughters because I am acutely aware of the impact that that has on their ideas about themselves. And, you know, so thank you really appreciate that monologue. No, it was and practicing being a better listener also. So thank you for your kind words. It's, we live in a world where there's an epidemic of self hatred. And so it's been incredible that just through my own journey of learning to like myself in this whole new way and navigating the relationship with food, which is navigating your relationship with yourself, and then with my body, and then I gained some weight. When I stopped all those workouts, it's normal, but I needed to go on that journey to get to know myself. And there was a period of binge because there were so many foods I restricted myself from, but I had to allow it to happen. And then I desired more nutrient dense foods. And now I, I prefer to call it a movement practice, because movement offers us so many things. We all know that. But it has been taught to us that I should show up to get results or this is to get thin. So the other day I was I choose to do strength workouts, but I actually did it for a really long time. But I crave to the sweat, I crave the strength, but I'm showing up for it in a whole different way now, and sometimes I'm like, you know what, it's not happening today. And it's okay. And then some days, I'm like, I'm really craving this. But I want to make sure why. Why am I craving this, because there's a detoxing feeling from the sweat, there's this really powerful feeling from the the strength. So I was doing jumping jacks, and I prefer to workout in a sports bra at home, which is a really powerful way to get to know your body when you were the least amount of clothes, I prescribed my clients naked time a lot. Don't just take a bath, to relax, it can offer you that. But it can offer you so much more time for you to just be with your naked self. So I was doing jumping jacks and he's like, Mommy, your bellies jiggling? And I said yes, it is. Isn't it so beautiful? You were in there? Isn't that cool? couldn't touch it. And so even four years ago, I would have not I would have freaked out put a shirt on felt ashamed or embarrassed in front of my child. What is that teaching him and so I think meditation has also given me that level of consciousness, conscious of when anxiety creeps up conscious of that inner dialogue, noticing the mean girl trying to take over. And incorporated movements in mirror work, which you know, those are like the pillars of my work. That's my medicine, meditation and mirror work, all of them are part of the self acceptance journey. And they also help to team the anxiety. recognize it, observe it yoga, is about observing self. So you get to notice when the anxiety creeps up, but also, movement is like, notice how the body feels when you have anxiety. And so I'm such a huge advocate for movement. Maybe it's a walk, maybe it's a formal workout. Maybe it's Island me yoga, maybe it's swimming, maybe it's something else. But we got to get that stuck energy out, because so scientifically we hold this negative energy inside of us. And then we get sick. Yeah, so there's so many. Can you just elaborate a little bit more about what mirror work is for people that maybe haven't heard of that before? Of course, Louise Hay teaches it a lot if you've ever looked at her work. And so there's different facets of it. There's the reflection time and the journal. So I still call that mirror work. But there's also the slowing down instead of I just have to get ready. Pause, really look at yourself every time you pass a mirror. And notice, is there judgment? Or can you see something and I don't I try not to shove positivity down people's throats. But just Hey, Louise Hay talks about this. And if you can't say hi, my name Hi, Heather, I love you, I really really love you say hi. I'm willing to learn to like you. And so honestly, the more you get naked, the more you actually prefer yourself naked. At least that's my case. And a lot of my clients because like I have a pair of jeans on, it's creating these extra folds. That's not the way my body looks without clothes on. So clothes, our clothes creating us to look deformed. And then we have to go on this journey. To find clothes that don't do that. No, just sometimes you just got to put something out your body. So willing to take the time to just be yourself like truly see yourself and if you want to get super deep, let it be like let me see my soul. Um, and it's the pause and that's where the meditation gives you that space and almost patience to notice yourself differently. So I'll go through challenges for myself where I won't wear makeup for an extended period of time so I can see myself. What do I look like? Am I covering up something that I'm feeling insecure about? Or am I allowing this to be playful when I put this on today? Um, yeah, and so bats are a huge part. I have a few clients that haven't haven't taken a back since They were a little girls. Like, all right. And it's such a cliche self care thing. But for me, it's what can this offer me mind body and soul? Yeah, you do it without bubbles. It doesn't have to be a Pinterest bat. Yeah, but add some add some Epsom salts though. Like, Oh, yes, added magnesium. My son who is five? Well, we do like the luxury baths for him. If I have any flower petals around, I'll throw them in any essential oils, we'll put on Epsom salts and then put in. So we let him experience that now two, plus he, he gets anxiety, but it comes out in aggressive physical behavior and screaming and so I'm like, get in the water. Water heals the water. There's another tool. I wanted to mention this, I just I don't think that there's one tried and true modality for anxiety. I think it's so powerful. And I think it's so beautiful that you have this podcast, because we all have a toolbox. So sometimes I have clients that meditation and movement just aren't doing the trick. So maybe you need to call the best friend, maybe you need to take a nap. And maybe it is Netflix all weekend, you just got to just sometimes avoidance is okay, if that's not like your regular I needed to watch something the other night to just my, my brain was so loud. And it was just to a point where I just just chose not to sit with it. And I just watched something silly. It was like a drama. And it just made me laugh so much. And I just I just needed that medicine that day. So I really truly feel like I was listening to the secret and my son found the CD then he just so fascinated by CDs, and he put it in my car and they talk about like, what's your like shifters list or mood shifters or something. And so I did that with some of my clients. And it's like, just kind of write down a list of like your go to things. Because when we're in the moment we forget, we forget about the tools. So kind of like maybe put it up on your wall, or somewhere. And writing down some ideas of things that you might want to try for the first time or that are kind of your go twos that have worked in the past. So maybe it is meditation. And there's different kinds of meditations, there's uplifting, there's relaxing ones, there's movement meditations, which is what's so beautiful about meditation, and then there's different kinds of yoga. And I mean, no marketing in the sunshine alone is just medicine right there. In Yeah, I just I think it's so beautiful. Because we do we have choices. Sometimes you got to try a couple of things before you can move out of that state of overwhelm and anxiety and frustration. And sometimes what works last week, doesn't work this week. And that's okay. And that it's okay to shift it up and to say, Oh, you know what, like, I actually do need to invest in a coach like Heather, to either teach me something new because you can you only know so much until you open a book or hire a coach, or, you know, work with someone that has been doing this work for so long. So I always ask, if someone listening to this right now is struggling? Do you have a message of hope that you would like to share with them? Like two quotes that came to mind? I feel like I'm a quote collector, I think because they can become like, your anthem, or you're just, I take to them very well. But I think number one is your perfect, there's nothing wrong with you. When a coach told me that it brought me to tears, because we tend to see the imperfections in ourselves. Which Yes, there's the other angle of imperfect is perfect, but I just my soul receives that like you're perfect. There's nothing wrong with you. And like it's time to unapologetically prioritize yourself. And sometimes we just need someone else to say that it's okay to unapologetically prioritize yourself and sometimes we need more time than we used to. There's a lot of external pressures in the world that are also adding on to our everyday anxieties. And so sometimes you might need to try some more tools. You may need some more time. I love that. Thank you. Those are perfect. So if someone wants to find you, where should they look? Give a website. I do Heather Nieves calm. I am active on Instagram. I am Heather Nevis and Facebook is facebook. dot com forward slash I love me yoga. And thank you and that'll all be in our show notes that thank you so much for your wisdom and time and joyful energy. And I look forward to continuing this conversation. Oh yeah, we can do a part two and three, I, I just I get so excited about the things that I've learned and I can just go in so many directions with it. So I'm just grateful to get the chance to talk with you and to share this with with your listeners. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for taking the time to invest in your well being. I hope you learned at least one new idea or technique that you might want to implement into your own life. Remember, you're not alone, there is hope and with the right information and support you can thrive. If you're dealing with panic or looking for a step by step process that will allow you to break free from this crippling fear state. I want to invite you to check out my panic attack Survival Guide, you can grab your free copy at www dot Jennifer bronsnick.com Thanks for listening