Dangerous Faith
Dangerous Faith is a ministry that strives to light a fire inside of Everyday Christians to live radically for Christ so that we can glorify God by advancing His Kingdom.
Dangerous Faith
#84: Dangerous Life – Man vs. Bear? The Gender Wars
Nate Williams and the Dangerous Life Team talk about the Twitter question (from a female perspective) "if you were in the woods walking by yourself, would you rather encounter a random bear or man?" They also discuss why things are so toxic between men and women, and what we can do about it.
Website: www.dangerousfaith.net
YouTube: Dangerous Faith
Rumble: Dangerous Faith
Instagram: nwdangerousfaith
Twitter: @FaithDangerous
Facebook: @NWDangerousFaith
Welcome to the Dangerous Faith Podcast. I have my team here with me Zeke, justin, isaac and Mariah. We're shorthanded a little bit today, but it's okay, we have all the favorites here. I'm about to get an angry text from someone later for that, but anyways, dangerous Life team. I think on Twitter, I do believe, and the question was for women, and it was this Women, if you were by yourself walking alone in the woods and you encountered either a random bear, could be any bear.
Speaker 1:A random man, could be any man. What would you choose? And naturally people want to ask was it a grizzly bear? Is it a black bear? Well, what kind of man is it? Someone I know, someone I don't know? You're not allowed any of those details in the hypothetical. It's just would you rather bump into a random bear or random?
Speaker 1:man and a lot of the women uh ended choosing well, we'll get into that in a moment and it just showed what men and women thought of each other. That leads us into the gender wars, and men hate women, women hate men. When there's dating relationships, things at stake, like that, men think all women are you know a certain way, and promiscuous and low value are some terms that are thrown around. Then women think all men are pigs, only want one thing, and they're, you know, nasty and gross and kind of got to raise them like a parent and a child kind of deal. Anyways, so we're going to talk about the gender wars now, today, and I'm going to open it up to the floor Mariah, as our resident female, and Justin.
Speaker 3:Yes, I will also be representing all women in here. Hello.
Speaker 1:Okay, it is the Pride Month here of June, and so Justin is making his voice heard.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 1:All right, mariah, you are in the woods alone, or man, and why?
Speaker 2:um. So I said bear just because, um, I don't know. We never know what a man you never know what either would do. But you know the tension of a bear to the point of you. You know it probably doesn't want you there, especially it will kill you. But a man will lie to you. That's what I, so I'm like I don't know.
Speaker 3:I would rather be lied to than killed. I'm just saying.
Speaker 2:All the options I guess, of the man just as a woman that could be done to you versus a bear. Hey, he'll get mauled, Maybe he'll, but like done to you versus a bear.
Speaker 1:Hey, he'll get mauled, maybe you'll, but like so, justin, um, one factor of this that you got to take into consideration the bear at worst will kill you, but the man can do other kind of things to a woman that she would really rather not happen to her. So there's another factor you do have to take into consideration, other than just death okay.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm just saying the. The thing she brought up was lying, and if it's either being lied to or mauled, I'm gonna choose to be lied to well, mariah is not going to cover every possible scenario if you're going to represent women like me, you have to cover everything so I think justin is proving Mariah's point a little bit.
Speaker 1:Isaac, you have any thoughts?
Speaker 5:What if the man took you Justin, kidnapped you, put you under his bed, locked you under there forever and only let you eat one cheese puff a day? Is he handsome and lied to you?
Speaker 3:Is he handsome? No, oh then no, that would be awful. So bear for you Is he handsome.
Speaker 5:No, oh then no, that'd be awful. So bear for you, so bear, I guess, if that's the option bear.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, justin, the resident female, sides with Mariah the biological female, the real female. So I asked a whole bunch of people this and just different group chats and some of my friends and it was pretty evenly split with a few more people would choose the man, which I did appreciate. Show that shows there's some faith in humanity. But a lot of the women chose the bear, which shows, okay, they don't really think highly of the men they've experienced in their life.
Speaker 3:so, justin, one One thing is to keep all joking aside. I can honestly kind of see people as much as like a bear would most likely kill you. There are, unfortunately, statistics that back up women's claims who do kind of side with more, choosing the bear as much as I would still say I'd rather see a man than a bear. I do kind of get where some of those people come from, because sometimes it can be very scary, especially in our world nowadays it sounds like it's coming down to like the worst case for a bear versus the worst case for a man.
Speaker 4:You'd rather just be killed by a bear, but I mean, I don't know, I feel like. I feel like my odds would be better. I'm trying to think if, if were a female, my odds would be better if it was a random guy.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 4:At the same time, though, if he's just walking around by himself in the middle of the woods, that's already sketched. But then again you're doing the same thing, so you're already sketched. So I don't know.
Speaker 1:That is true If two random people are just walking around.
Speaker 4:Maybe they were made for each other new dating site. Anyways.
Speaker 1:Isaac, any thoughts about all this? I've seen a wide variety of facial expressions, so any thoughts on this?
Speaker 3:or not. Yeah, Isaac, what have you got to say?
Speaker 5:I don't, I don't know about. I think it's a fear decision because, think about it, if you are just walking, when you ask a woman this, they, they go to a place in their mind, right, and they go okay, I'm walking in the middle of the woods and some random guy just comes up on me. I don't want that, because they think of all the bad things that could happen, like there's not enough context in this scenario, and they're like okay, well, a bear. A lot of women don't have as much experience as about as bears, as they should, or knowledge and stuff so cool. But they think, okay, a bear, maybe I can outrun it, maybe I can get away. Or if it kills me, it kills me.
Speaker 5:But with a man they start going to all these extremes that could happen. They could not happen, but they're like I would rather like mariah, like you were saying earlier. Mckinsey was talking to me in the car. She like I'd rather die from a bear attack than be raped by a man and have to live with that for the rest of my life. And she's like so I would just rather pick the bear. So I think it's just the fear. And then they start going through all these things, and then it's a choice that they just choose.
Speaker 4:I want to kind of rephrase the question. I want to see if the two women in here changed their answer now, let's say you're in the middle of the woods and those are the two things that you see. Which one are you running towards? Man let's say, a bear starts chasing you. Are you running towards man or are you running in the opposite direction and trying to avoid both?
Speaker 2:I'm trying to avoid both.
Speaker 4:I feel like I would run towards another person like hey, come help me, even if I don't know him.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's a hard. That's hard because out of curiosity I'd be like, oh well, he needs help too. So I'll just go see that man, I guess, and I think from.
Speaker 1:I didn't know everyone's background when I asked them this question, but from the few I did know childhood and how they grew up and family situation it tended to seem like the ladies who had whether it was a strong, healthy marriage or whether they grew up with a good present, loving father. For the few that I did know, that seemed like it did come into play because think about the men you're around the most, the you know the male friends you're around the most. That will factor in when you're thinking about well, I've had all these positive experiences, I'll take my chances, whereas if you've been in abusive situations or maybe your childhood wasn't ideal in various ways, you're like yeah.
Speaker 1:I'll take the bear and so. Or maybe your childhood wasn't ideal. In various ways you're like, yeah, I'll take the bear and so that does have some to play. But any other thoughts on this before we get into gender wars, justin.
Speaker 3:Mr Williams, what is your personal thoughts on this? I'd love to hear your input.
Speaker 1:Well, he kind of looks like a bear so I'm a male, so I would rather face the male in the woods. I feel like, if you're a real man, you're telling me that you're not man enough to beat up a bear.
Speaker 3:The real man would go after the bear.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:I do understand you're trying to poke me and I do get it.
Speaker 3:Poke the bear that was good.
Speaker 1:That was good. I just I think I could take the average male. Now, if it happens to be this dude who's like a MMA jujitsu martial arts master probably not so. Blake, nowhere near no, just let's not confuse arts master?
Speaker 3:Probably not. So Blake. Nowhere near. Just let's not confuse the audience. Nowhere near.
Speaker 1:Blake is hilarious.
Speaker 5:I think that a man is obviously the better thing to run into. But if you think about it, I'm kind of torn because if I'm thinking of it instead of my perspective, I'm thinking of what would I rather have Mackenzie run into? Like, if I'm thinking about it, I don't want her running into some random guy, because I know what guys can do and I know even if some guys seem nice and seem good. I haven't had a lot of experience with bad guys, but I know what guys are capable of and I know what. You can be a good guy and then have a moment of really, really bad stuff. You know what I mean, so I would. It's tough. I wouldn't want to run into either of them and I think it's a tough question just posing it that way, to where it kind of makes you look bad.
Speaker 5:Because yeah it's kind of a loaded question, because if you say, oh, I'd rather run into a guy like, ok, good job, but in reality that also could be horrible, it guy like, okay, good job, but in reality that also could be horrible. It's like if I'd rather run into a bear, because I'm thinking of all the things a guy can do to me. Well, it's like, are you stupid? Do you know what a bear can do to you? Yeah, but I know what a guy can do to me too.
Speaker 3:So it's kind of a loaded question to me I think you're kind of getting into the point of what that is on those podcasts that ask that stuff. It's typically to try to start some sort of fight, because you'll have men who are one opposite way and are going to call people idiots, and then you're going to have women who are the opposite way. We're going to call the men idiots. It's just to start a fight so you can get views. That's kind of the point of the question.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, we are just wanting your clicks and we got them and we're thankful. Just wanting your clicks and we got them and we're thankful. But I think for a lot of people, if you listen to this episode and you've been away from the dating scene for a while, you might not realize how toxic it's gotten. We're trying to date and we had a episode a few, I guess a few episodes back between Corey and Nikki talking about dating in your 30s and they just talked about how, at times, it can be an absolute wasteland, how they might more describe it, and so you might not realize how toxic it is. The way men and women view each other and so, naturally, we're Christians, brothers and sisters in Christ, and so we're wanting to try to help with that as best we can, so that we don't hate one another. And, you know, healthy marriages can form and families, and we need that for society. So just some important things to talk about.
Speaker 1:But, mariah, turning to you as our biological female on the podcast, when it comes to, uh, your experience, your experience, but also your lady friends as well what's it like dating right now, trying to find a good guy? Is it you know? Are they plentiful? Is it like the desert? They don't exist. Like what has been your experience with, like dating and men in general um, I'd say I don't know, it's definitely pretty difficult.
Speaker 2:I feel like from uh, I feel like everyone's either married already and has somebody, or, especially in the culture of the south now it's definitely not like that, um, when I I've lived up north or out West for a time and that is definitely not the culture at all, but down here in the South, uh seems that everyone already has someone and if you don't, then you're just there. But and then trying to date definitely, I guess, is confusing, uh, an aspect of um, it seems like men don't understand the seriousness of it, if that makes sense or from my experience, but yeah, okay, now open it up to the three gentlemen here.
Speaker 1:We have two married and one single. So when it comes to your experience, go back to your dating days or you know just the women in your life. You get what I'm trying to get to. What was the experience, or is the experience for you with women Plentiful? Was it a desert? Not, you know, not available. Y'all share your thoughts.
Speaker 4:For Isaac, it was obviously plentiful because he's got good looks.
Speaker 1:Everyone was.
Speaker 4:Isaac has the blonde hair this blonde hair and uh, I'm kind of kind of understand how mariah feels in the sense of like it kind of felt that way and I think the hard part about it and I I don't even think it's it's part of us has to do with the south because, like you end up a lot of times like marrying someone that you've known for a while. So it's kind of I can see why it'd be hard to find someone as years go on, because a lot of people end up with high school sweethearts and stuff like that. But at the same time I lost my train of thought.
Speaker 3:But I don't know.
Speaker 4:It's like my mind's, like lightning One flash and then it's gone.
Speaker 1:Isaac. Any thoughts there? We'll let Zeke recover his train of thought. And what was it like for you when it came to the dating scene and all the women who threw themselves at you? So what? I?
Speaker 4:was going to talk about was that not only is it a cultural thing, but it's also kind of like how society has what's called advanced, I guess, to the point to where you don't really do any of the social activities in person, where you're actively trying to go meet new people as much. Correct me if I'm wrong. Like a lot of stuff is done online, like we have social media and other ways, like most way most people meet nowadays is through apps. Am I wrong on that, or no, I'd say that's correct okay I mean, that's how it was for me whenever I was single.
Speaker 4:Like I'm trying to think, I only met like maybe one out of a few of the girls I dated before. Chloe was only one or two of them. Maybe it would have been like in person I met them through work or something like that Most of them was through a friend or through some kind of app or something like that and that naturally, um, as you get older, I feel like that just gets harder and harder, because you get this very, uh, dense group of people who there's probably a reason they probably haven't taken the time to work on themselves that older you get and unfortunately some people do, and it's unfortunate that they can't find anyone. But, like, there are a lot of people in the age range and age group that the reason why they haven't been able to find someone is because they refuse to work on themselves. That's not everyone. I'm just saying there are those people and it's hard to sift through those people versus the people who are genuine and are ready for relationships and good for relationships.
Speaker 5:That's why Leonardo DiCaprio gets a new 21-year-old every couple years.
Speaker 1:I think that's the way to go.
Speaker 5:I think that it's it's. There's plenty of people out there, but not plenty of people that you're I want to say compatible, but plenty of people that you're looking for. Like for me, I didn't date a ton in a high school or after high school, because I never really found somebody that I wanted to be with. But eventually I just kept waiting and then found somebody, but I don't know.
Speaker 4:I think there's people out there, but sometimes it's just sifting through the good people until you find the one person that you're gonna be with I think that's the hardest part is just waiting, and I'll speak from someone who was, uh, too anxious to get with, to be with someone like to find a wife, like it was really. It was really easy for me to just settle for someone who I knew wasn't good for me and I wasn't good for them, and I would just go from person to person like that and instead of just being patient, I think you were probably definitely more patient, which is ironic for a lot of reasons.
Speaker 4:But, you end up being the more patient one, the more mature one in that area of, like you said, like if you didn't think someone was for you, you just wouldn't waste your time on it. Yeah, because you didn't like that person, but because you knew it wasn't going to work out, Whereas I was like I can make it work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can fix them.
Speaker 1:It's not, and that just never worked out, really, yeah, and so talking expectations. So, for example, uh, one big thing that's a source of a lot of arguments online is traditional gender roles versus like new. Uh, you know, both people can do everything in a relationship. So, for example, women will tell men all right, you need to have a house, good paying job, and that makes you eligible. Men are like all right, well, if you're going to do that, are you interested in? Is there any submission there, like are you going to follow my leadership? Are you going to maybe help to take care of some of the house things? And the women get offended. They're like it's 21st century, we can do everything a man can do, and now we should divvy everything up 50-50 with housework and paying bills and all that stuff. And so we're caught in this weird world between expectations, 21st century, but also people do enjoy traditional values. Women often want a more masculine man. Men want a more masculine man men want a more feminine woman.
Speaker 1:But then it's again 21st century. What still holds up. Do y'all have any thoughts on that? Was that ever an issue for y'all? Uh expectations, roles in a relationship uh, I guess it's kind of an open-ended question. Anyone want to jump in?
Speaker 4:they've actually done studies and uh, I think a think a lot of this roots. Like you get a lot of uh people who get really heated about this thing, but like, if you just look at the numbers, like they've done studies on, like, what do women prefer versus what do men prefer? Generally not every single person, we're all individuals, but I mean generally, we have some things that we have in common and, like you said, even if they want to work their own job, they still want a man who typically makes enough to support them in case they choose to not want to work or whatever it is, and they want someone who's going to be available and able to help out with the kids at home and stuff. And there's like a list of five things and they were all the things that we would call just traditional. And then people get mad like, no, that's, that's discouraging to women, like women, are the ones who say they want it.
Speaker 4:And if that's discouraging to women, women are the ones who say they want it, and if you don't want it, that's fine. But, like you're saying, expectations is what it comes back down to. Even if some of these things I'm not going to get into the weeds of it, but even if there's something that's not like a moral good or moral bad that you should or shouldn't do, not expressing that expectation is going to be a thief of the law of joy, like that was one of the things we went through in marriage counseling of making sure we write out even the tiniest expectations that we expect in marriage, because if you don't ever voice your expectations, they're never going to get met or they might bring up sore spots that you need to work through ahead of time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, that's, that's wise work. Communication, mariah Isaac. Any thoughts on that? Mariah, I'll pass it to you. When it comes to that whole, it's 21st century, you're a girl boss, you can do it all. Versus maybe more traditional values. Do you want a very masculine man who's going to take care of you?
Speaker 4:What does your dating profile say that you want in a man?
Speaker 1:For anyone listening in case yeah, y'all can put in your submissions. Uh, but mariah, where do you fall with that?
Speaker 2:um, I'd say so, I I like more traditional roles, like I'm in favor for that, but I also have definitely more like um, newer, maybe even some would say liberal viewpoints of like how things should be ran. Uh, so I'm pretty mixed, but I definitely say, like man pays, you know, like, um, they should be very gentlemanlike. And the thing of opening doors, doing all the things, the classic things that, when you think of that, a man should do, and same for the woman. If the man is working all day and I am blessed enough not to have a job, then I should be, you know, keeping up the house or you know having the food ready, things like that.
Speaker 1:You wouldn't consider that as like controlling, degrading, demeaning.
Speaker 2:No, definitely not. I think everyone has a role, um, and you can share roles. So like, say, if I had a really good job and I was married to someone that maybe didn't have such a nice job and they were like, hey, what about I just watched the kids, I'd be like, okay, you know, I still think the opposite is okay, as long as it's being shared and in agreement. Okay.
Speaker 1:Isaac. Any thoughts there? Traditional versus 21st century girl bosses Anything you want to share?
Speaker 5:Traditional works.
Speaker 1:Traditional works. That is Isaac's thoughts there. So, all right, we kind of described the way people view one another. Women blame men, saying, hey, y'all need to grow up, y'all need to. You know, work hard, save up, pay for things. You need to be a man. Then men are like okay, like we said before, are you going to submit? Are you going to fulfill traditional feminine roles in the household? Are you going to submit? Is there, are you going to fulfill traditional feminine roles in the household? You're going to follow my lead and then you can imagine online how that goes.
Speaker 4:but ezekiel wanted to jump in moran said something I thought was really good.
Speaker 4:You mentioned how we all have our roles and our uh.
Speaker 4:We're all a part of the same thing in the sense of like.
Speaker 4:That's something that, uh, I've heard talked about a lot of like, even when it comes to kids.
Speaker 4:Like, at the end of the day, like we're all one family and we're all we're all should be working together as a family, and sometimes that means that it looks like I'm doing something that Chloe would typically do, and other times it looks like closing, something I would typically do, and that's OK, because we're all striving for the same goal, and that could be a bunch of different things. It could be that we're trying to create a certain lifestyle for our family or our community or, uh, whatever it is, and that even goes into children of like letting the children have not that I'm a parent, just speaking from experts, not myself but they talk about like even giving the children, helping them understand that you're not just a thing that's here for our enjoyment and pleasure to be around, but you're also a part of this family. Like, you have roles and responsibilities, just like me and your mom do, and we expect you to be a part of it too, and you're not just some bystander that's here for 18 years and then you leave.
Speaker 1:Yeah, good points there. Now moving forward. Okay, how can we, as Christians, lower the level of toxicity, anger, resentment, what are ways that we can view gender, what are things that we can in our own lives, Because we all know, you know married friends, single friends, you with them advice and and worldview and stuff. How can we help this get better in our own circles? And any thoughts there Zeke?
Speaker 4:Close communities, one family communities, two friend communities. So having, if you don't already have two or three I try to say minimum of two or three close friends of your gender who are not afraid to call you out on your bull crap. So for guys what that looks like is, if you have a minimum of two or three, you have more. But if you have two or three guys who, if they see you like having an attitude or something with your wife that they're willing to say, hey, dude, cut it out, that's not OK and you don't get upset with them, like you've given them that kind of permission to speak into your life so that they can see the things that you can't see, that they can see, they can call you out on that, and that decreases how we act and then we keep spreading that throughout different communities.
Speaker 4:Two is families of being good father figures, and that comes from the community thing too.
Speaker 4:Like if other dads see us being being a bad dad, they call us out on that too.
Speaker 4:Um, so it starts there and then it's a slow thing, like if you think of there's unfortunately a lot of uh dads who aren't in the home anymore nowadays and that's a big breakdown, I think of our community and the problem that leads to is like both guys and girls grow up with out good figures and they'll have to uh, show them how they should live and how they should act.
Speaker 4:Like they have moms and moms do what they can, but like it's a job meant for two people. I'm not degrading the single parents, like they're doing the best they can, but they're having to do a job of two people and sometimes that's just more than they can handle. So like getting back to where we we're not so easy to get divorced, like I think our divorce laws got way easier a couple of decades ago and since then it's just divorce rates have skyrocketed, and I get that there's certain circumstances, but that doesn't excuse the ones where we leave just cause we don't feel good anymore and we just don't want to work for it. We got to get back to where we start actually meet up, we actually start committing to people and sticking with them, with them yeah, good, good thoughts, mariah.
Speaker 1:Uh, did you want to say something?
Speaker 2:oh yeah, I was just gonna say like, um, understanding certain values, like I know that's should seem like common sense, but to a lot of people, just basic things, um, how you should treat a person and treating the opposite gender, although you know especially even me as a woman like, oh, he's a, he's a man, so he's not going to think about this like that, or, you know, being quick to judge like, oh well, they don't, they don't know, they don't know anything. You know a man won't know how to do this or that, when you know you're not even giving them a chance. So I can even say that for women and you know, I know men probably do the same thing.
Speaker 1:But uh, just, you know, sticking to your values and what, treating others really how you want to be treated in the relationship too yeah, good thoughts, isaac justin, anything you might want to add when it comes to just toxic gender wars, how to treat one another, any advice, wisdom, or or not so much right now I will, uh, justin um, this goes without men, women, if you're wanting to talk about how people should be treated, you're both.
Speaker 3:In one sense, you're both equal, because you're both made in the image of God, so in that way, everybody should be treated with respect at the end of the day. I agree with what Mariah was talking about, about there are certain roles and that can look different in different households, and I'm kind of rambling, but I guess that's all I got to say.
Speaker 1:No, no, it's working with one another and there's not a cookie cutter way. Things have to be done. Those are good points. I think I'll finish up with a few observations on my own. Observations on my own, bouncing off what Zeke said.
Speaker 1:Avoid toxic people in that don't bring them necessarily into your closest circle where you allow their toxicity, their hatred, their negativity to influence you. So, for example, someone right after a breakup or a divorce, or maybe they grew up in a not great household, those things do happen. But one of the byproducts is they can become very bitter. They're bitter towards the opposite sex and they say, oh, all men are this way, all women are that way and it's their own opinion. They're free to have it. But you have to be careful of not allowing the toxicity, the bitterness of other people invade your heart to where their negativity then becomes your worldview. So be careful. The type of input and values you allow yourself to be around, because you know, let's say you know, this happens sometimes. Mom with a daughter, father with a son, it's like, oh, I had bad experiences and so you will as well. Uh, that's not very healthy, zeke, you want to hop in?
Speaker 4:Yeah, and uh, bring this all back up.
Speaker 4:You brought up the point of you know you might've been raised in a bad household, but that doesn't mean you can't uh start now training up your future kids, um, in a way that they should go in the sense of, like you know I've seen you see all these feet, or I see these videos that Chloe shows me on Instagram uh, all these little kids who it'll either be a boy or a girl.
Speaker 4:If it's a boy, the dad's always uh teaching the boy how to treat his mom's like and let's little boy, I'll say cute things, pretty mom, I got you flowers. And like he dad visually shows a son how to treat a woman, and I think in the long run, that's going to play out to be they're going to be some of the best men growing up and they're going to know what to do, whereas we don't all get that example. And then same for if it's a girl, the dad shows the girl how a man should treat a woman by whenever she's old enough, like taking her out for daddy daughter dates and doing things with them, and showing how a guy should treat her whenever he takes her out, and stuff like that. Like you're building these examples from the get-go and unfortunately we've kind of we've never done it perfectly, but I think we're starting to slowly get to the point where we realize we gotta start doing that stuff early and earlier. Um, for those who have kids, yeah, good to build on that.
Speaker 5:Me and mckinsey were actually talking about this the other day because we want to have a lot of kids, but uh, she was talking about how sometimes, uh, she was like I really wish we would have had a girl first not wish we would have had a girl first, but she was like I was kind of nervous about having a guy because I don't know how to raise a man to be a leader, to be a good man. And I was like mckenzie, that's not your job. I was like your job is to teach him how to treat women by showing him, you know, love and all that stuff like showing him what a woman should be like. And I said my job is to teach him how to treat women, like as a dad, as a man, you know, be a leader and all that stuff.
Speaker 5:And I think just building back the family dynamic, you know, putting Cross back in the home, all these things are going to help because once we start getting away from the things like single parents are okay. Single parents can do it all. You can't do it all. You can't give a child everything they need. Statistics show that you can see the kids who have single parents and I'm not saying that those people are wrong because you know you don't know their situation, but if we could build back a society, it's like we need two parents in that home.
Speaker 4:That would help so much. That should be the exception, not the rule yeah and it's become pretty common nowadays, unfortunately. And like you said, there's exceptions. People die, things happen and it's out of your control, but for the things that are under control, let's control those things and then let the exceptions be the exceptions. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Y'all bring up good points, I think another point I'll bring up is grace good points, I think.
Speaker 4:Another point I'll bring up is grace.
Speaker 1:We live in a very graceless culture. So if a man or a woman, let's say, has a high body count online, the answer is, oh, that person automatically can't be a good partner, can't be a good spouse. That is graceless, that is not Christ-like. You can live a certain way and then obviously God changes hearts and you can change the way you're living and you can make an incredible spouse. So be gracious. Oftentimes you'll see online whether, like the Reddit forums and marriage advice, and the husband might make a mistake, might raise his voice, might say something very ugly, and then you'll see in the comments you go to the wife oh, wife, divorce him. Just he made a mistake, get rid of him, you could do better. It's like hold on, you got to grow together and vice versa. If the wife makes a mistake, we have to be willing to give one another grace, to grow up. You grow together, you grow old together, you learn, and we don't have that. The moment someone messes up in a relationship, it's break up with them is the advice we get divorce them again and that's really ugly and it's not Christ-like. And both men and women starting out will have a lot of growing up to do and you have to grow with them together. No one's a finished product, and so that's point number two.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to remember point number three, but just be careful of those statements. All guys are pigs, all women are promiscuous Again, that's the word I tend to use, as opposed to other stuff you'll hear online. Whenever you hear all, it's like okay, you're about to hear something where someone's not being nuanced, it's just ugly. It doesn't help the conversation. But just some tips with me Surround yourself with good people. Zeke gave great advice. Model good examples in the home. Beware bitter, toxic friends that just want to. You know, indirectly, their hurt then hurts you if you adopt their worldview. Just things to keep in mind.
Speaker 4:I want to say one more thing about the surrounding yourself with at least two or three good friends is if they're going to be good friends, it's going to be awkward at first to kind of get this going, but, like, you need to make sure that they've given you permission to speak into their life, like that. I say that because if you just start going around all your friends like, hey, bro, you need to change this, you need to do this, and they don't want your advice, it's not going to do anything for them. So and that might not be one of your close friends if that's the case. So like, have that initial conversation of like hey, I'm looking for some close friends that I can speak into your life and you can speak into mine. And that means calling each other out on bull crap, and that's kind of how you start. It's awkward, it's weird. They're probably going to make fun of you at first, but I think long-term, that's where it helps out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, good thoughts, any other points you all want to make before we finish up the episode.
Speaker 5:If you're a single man, be the kind of man that the woman that you would want would want, and if you're a single woman, be the kind of woman that the man that you would want would want. That that would be my advice single people at two, five, six so, anyways, anyone uh want to submit any applications?
Speaker 1:we are taking them all. Right, friends, this is I was about to say priority talk. Nope, this is dangerous faith. We typically have an episode every week. We've taken the last couple of weeks off. It's summertime, but that's typically our schedule. We're on Facebook, instagram, twitter. Come follow us. Let us know if there are any topics you would like for us to talk about. Until next time. Well, justin Blake's not here for us to talk about. Until next time. Well, justin Blake's not here. So, do you have any song you want to send us any riff, any thing you want to finish out with?
Speaker 3:I'll just do Blake's typical bum-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba.
Speaker 1:Until next time, talk to you later.
Speaker 2:Thank you.