Laughter. Tears. Wisdom: Lisa Harper’s Adoption Story

Lisa Harper was in her 40s when she felt that her plan to adopt a child was looking like a pipe dream. That is, until she received a phone call from some friends in Haiti. She’s now Mom to Missy—a Haitian girl who was so sick she almost didn’t live to see her third birthday.

“She was 2½ years old and 19 pounds.”

Listen as Lisa shares insight about trusting God wherever He leads.

Connect with us through email at gps@billygraham.org or on Facebook at Billy Graham Radio.

This episode of GPS: God. People. Stories. aired in its original form on Sept. 28, 2016.

Transcript

MUSIC STARTS

Lisa Harper:
00:00:01 Some friends from Haiti called and they said, “We’ve got a little girl whose mama died of AIDS and she has HIV and she’s very, very sick.”

Jim Kirkland: Those friends of Lisa Harper called her because they knew she’d been wanting to adopt a child for quite some time. But how would Lisa feel about adopting a child who was as sick as this little girl?

Lisa: 
00:00:19 They said, “Would you pray about it?” and I said, “Nope.” I said, “I’ve been praying about this for 30 years. Sign me up.”

Jim: You might recognize the name Lisa Harper. She’s a well-known Bible teacher and speaker—and a single mom. And, with this episode, you’ll hear how God led her to adopt and how she came to be the parent to a little girl from Haiti. This is GPS: God. People. Stories. I’m Jim Kirkland.

Lisa’s desire to adopt came from a desire to love¬. And that came from an outpouring of the love she experiences from her relationship with Jesus Christ. Billy Graham often spoke about how important it is for followers of Jesus to love and care for other people.

Billy Graham:
00:00:59 Now the Gospel of Christ has no meaning unless it is applied to our fellow man who hurts and is in need. And Jesus said, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and soul, and strength, and mind; and thy neighbor as thyself.”

Jim: You’ll hear more from Billy Graham later in the episode. If you would like right now to know more about the Gospel of Jesus Christ and how it can change your life, pay our website a visit. It’s FindPeaceWithGod.net. That’s FindPeaceWithGod.net.

Intro: GPS: God. People. Stories.

MUSIC TRANSITION

Jim: Lisa Harper’s journey to adoption actually began early on in her life.

Lisa:
00:01:43 I’ll never forget it. I went to a women’s conference and they started talking about adoption and I had committed, with my best friend, when I was 17 years old in a Bible study, and the theme was adoption throughout Scripture, how there’s this theme in the Gospel of us being adopted by God. We had committed, as 17-year-old kids, you know, just wet behind the ears, you know, more enthusiasm than depth, but we committed that we would both adopt when we got older and Cindy went on to adopt. She and her husband struggled with infertility. They adopted. Well, I never married so I thought, “Well, that was kind of … maybe a kid’s pipe dream.”

Jim: But because of what she heard at that women’s conference, she began to think that maybe the idea of adopting a child was more than just a “pipe dream.” Lisa was in her 40s at the time.

Lisa:
00:02:29 Obviously best-case scenario, the Biblical template, is to have a mama and a daddy but there’s 147 million orphans in the world and many of them in Third World countries will die of very preventable things like malaria if they’re not adopted by somebody in a First World country and I thought, “Well, for those kids, when the option is either death or to be adopted by a fluffy single mom in Nashville, Tennessee,” I thought, “maybe … maybe God would allow that.” So I just kind of slowly started the process of letting some adoption agencies know if you’ve got a kid who doesn’t have a shot at a mama and a daddy … I’d love that child.

Jim: Over the next few years, there were a lot of ups and downs.

Lisa:
00:03:13 And then some friends from Haiti called and they said, “We’ve got a little girl whose mama died of AIDS and she has HIV and she’s very, very sick. She has cholera, she has tuberculosis, and the doctors have told us she only has two to three months to live unless really anybody steps in the gap for her.” And they said, “Would you pray about it?” and I said, “Nope.” I said, “I’ve been praying about this for 30 years. Sign me up.” And then I got off the phone and was like, What have I done? Good night! I’m not sure I know how to do this! But, of course, the sweetest thing about God’s will is, you know, it’s one step at a time. You just follow where He leads.

Jim: So, six weeks later, Lisa was in Port-au-Prince, meeting the girl who would eventually become her daughter.

Lisa:
00:03:58 And they put her in my arms and she was 2½ years old and 19 pounds—teeny tiny, really, really sick, but she looked up at me. She didn’t like me at all at first. She thought I was just this big pale, you know, scary looking woman but she looked up at me kind of suspiciously and then she wrapped this surprisingly strong little hand around my pinky finger and she said, “Allo, Mama Blanc.” That’s, “Hello, White Mama,” and I was like, “Stick a fork in me. I’m done.”

Jim: It would be two more years, though, before Lisa could bring her daughter home. 

Lisa:
00:04:34 It’s just been an unbelievably tangible example of God’s kindness. Her HIV is undetectable. Her lungs are healthy as can be, no sign of tuberculosis, and she’s a trip. She is—other than my salvation—she is the sweetest gift in my life, definitely gives me a run for my money. She’s either going to keep me young or put me in the grave. I’m flat worn out, half the time.

Jim: The two years it took for Lisa’s adoption to be finalized were rough. 

Lisa:
00:05:04 You know, any time we have to wait, I just don’t think it’s in the human DNA. We tend to be stinkers and prideful and not patient and it was a long wait. I think what was especially hard is she was sick that whole time and, you know, I’m in Tennessee. I went to Haiti relatively often. I went down there five or six times during the process but still your hands are kind of tied, so I did everything I could to make sure she was, you know, getting proper nutrition and hopefully getting medication for the HIV but you just have no control. So a lot of it is, “Lord, I’m just going to trust You. I’m going to trust that You are leading her and You are her rear guard, even though she’s this precious little Haitian orphan and 4 years old, I’m going to trust You have protected my kid.” But, yeah, there were times that weeks would seem to stretch into years. It just was a long, long time and then when I would go visit her and have to leave her there and come home and she would cry and say, “No, Mama, no.” I mean, I felt like I left big chunks of my heart in Haiti or on the tarmac in Miami.

Jim: Those goodbyes and separations are a distant memory now as Lisa was finally able to bring Missy home in April of 2014. For women who are still waiting for an adoption to come through, and for those who feel like that door is closed, Lisa has some advice—and some humor.

Lisa:
00:06:26 Missy is such a gift but I brought her home, you know, the year I turned 50. I didn’t plan on going through menopause and motherhood at the same time—that was just a little double portion of God’s blessing but, you know, it was a long, long time. And for a lot of my friends, their paths have not included motherhood and there is—some didn’t feel called to it—and some, there is an ache that will not be filled until glory and that’s where I just encourage them, “You know what, don’t try to numb your pain or run from your pain.” I made a very intentional choice when I was in my 40s. I would rather my heart be hurt than hard and so I’m going to press into my friends who have children because let me tell you, every mama around you is always looking for a break and I’m going to say, “Hey, when you’d like somebody to take your kids to McDonalds or you want to go get a massage and you want somebody to stay home with your kids, I’d love to be an aunt,” because I thought, “Lord, I don’t know if I’ll ever get to be a mom but I really want to be tenderhearted around children and I want to have a mother’s heart.”

Jim: Lisa’s work in women’s ministry has given her a lot of opportunities to do just that—to offer a mother’s heart.

Lisa:
00:07:33 Now that I am as old as I am, I still get to be with a lot of young women in their teens and 20s, so age-wise, I could be their mama. And I started just developing this real mother’s heart toward kids in high school and college and, of course, I didn’t share a whole lot of stuff with my mom when I was a teenager and my 20s. It took me until about 35 for me to realize she was brilliant and everything she ever said to me was true but, you know, sometimes you can hear a mother figure’s voice and counsel and wisdom more than can even your own biological or adopted mama and so I thought, “I am just going to be the mom God wanted me to be even if I don’t have my own son or daughter,” and that started turning things around for me. For years I tried to numb my heart and guard my heart, not in a Biblical way, but protect my heart instead of trusting that God would protect my heart and sometimes when He protects our hearts, it includes pain—that’s what keeps our hearts tender. And so I would encourage to press into life around you. Press into the kids around you.

Jim: If you happen to be in a time of waiting on God for something, Lisa says it’s important to rest in the knowledge that He understands and He cares.

Lisa:
00:08:47 And I would just say, Lean into His affection. His plans for us really are perfect. They never match my calendar but they are perfect and He is not oblivious to our angst and I think sometimes we see Him as such a big God that we think, “Oh, well, surely He’s so busy with the refugees, He doesn’t see that right now I ache,” and that’s not true. Scripture depicts Him as collecting our tears and as hearing, inclining His ear to listen to us. So I think even if your prayer today is, “I’m really, really sad and I’m really, really tired,” He hears that prayer and He cares about it. So I would just say, Lean into the Lord. Don’t try to see around the corner. Just lean in to His affection, His grace will sustain you, and His providence never takes us to a place where His grace doesn’t sustain us.

MUSIC TRANSITION

Jim: You can’t fully experience the grace of God until you completely trust your life to God. The only way that can happen is through a relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ. You can begin that relationship right here, right now. Please visit our website: FindPeaceWithGod.net. When you’re there, click the button that says “Begin a relationship with Jesus Christ.” Again, you’ll find that at FindPeaceWithGod.net.

In just a minute, Lisa Harper will share a sweet memory of her and Missy bonding over some crazy videos.

Voice-over: You’re listening to GPS: God. People. Stories., a podcast production of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association.

MUSIC STARTS

Billy Graham:
00:10:36 Now the Gospel of Christ has no meaning unless it is applied to our fellow man who hurts and is in need.

Voice-over: Billy Graham …

Billy Graham:
00:10:44 And Jesus said, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and soul, and strength, and mind; and thy neighbor as thyself.” Our neighbors are people of a different race or a different cultural background and we’re to love them. And I would like to ask you a question tonight: When is the last time that you shared your life with another person or someone of another race? Jesus believed in the worth of the individual and Jesus spent most of His time with individuals, not just great crowds. The Bible teaches that God loves you as an individual. And, “Greater love hath no man than this, than [he] lay down his life for his friends.” And the Lord Jesus Christ died on the cross and while He was on the cross, He was thinking about you because He was God. He could look down the centuries and call you by name on that cross and say, “I love you. I will forgive you if you will come to Me.” 

Jim: Learn more about God’s love for you by visiting FindPeaceWithGod.net. It is a place where you can learn about Jesus Christ and find answers to your spiritual questions. That’s FindPeaceWithGod.net. Make note of it: FindPeaceWithGod.net.

Our guest on this episode of GPS is Lisa Harper. Lisa has been a popular speaker at the Billy Graham Training Center at The Cove. The Cove, as it’s commonly known, is a world class retreat center in the mountains of North Carolina. On one particular visit to The Cove, Lisa brought Missy along with her, and Missy got a little scared in their cabin during the night because of how dark it got. Well, Lisa had an idea to calm her down.

Lisa:
00:12:28 I said, “Well, how about we look at pictures?” We started looking at pictures on my phone and she wanted to go all the way back to Haiti and we laughed so hard because I still had video from Haiti when she couldn’t speak any English and here I am bumbling around an orphanage trying to make her laugh. And I have all these videos of us dancing and singing in Haiti and we laughed in our cabin at The Cove and I thought, “What a great God!” I can remember being on these grounds in North Carolina, praying for Missy, and to see God’s sovereignty is just unbelievable.

Jim: We can hear Lisa Harper’s heart right there. We are grateful to Lisa for sharing her heart with us and sharing Missy’s story here on this episode of GPS. If you enjoyed this episode and you think it would be a blessing to someone else, would you let everyone know by leaving us a review on your podcast app or a comment on YouTube? We would be very grateful.

I’m Jim Kirkland. Thank you so much for listening to GPS: God. People. Stories., an outreach of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association—Always Good News.

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